Apologies

For the first time in a very long time, the basement had fallen into a stony silence. Some of the braver of the prisoners were pressing their faces against the bars, bearing teeth at the group of Society agents who stood awkwardly in the corridor. Others cowered under blankets or behind pillows in fear. Were they in trouble? Or worse... were the rumours true, and the Society were about to have another purge of their basement?

One figure shuffled forwards, and it took several of the prisoners a second to recognise her. Usually the Society founder was clad in brightly coloured dresses and high heels. Today she wore jeans, a threadbare cricket jumper, trainers and a face of deep regret.

Several of the Sues looked curious. This didn't look like a purge. No one had weapons. What on earth could have caused the Society's founder to look so grave? Crouched behind her mattress as a shield, Tabitha gasped, remembering that Robert had been taken away the day before for his parole hearing. They assumed since he had not returned that he had passed, but what if they were wrong and something awful had happened?

"Hey guys..." Harriet cleared her throat, and managed a weak smile. "Wow this is hard... I suppose all apologies are though."

A few Sues peeked out from behind their defences, and further down the corridor, Ash hissed from the semi darkness. "Don't believe a word she says!"

Harriet tactfully ignored this, and continued. "We're here, because we didn't realise until yesterday, just how bad things had got down here. We didn't realise the level of cruelty some of us were putting you through. But most importantly, we didn't realise that we had been neglecting to feed you."

None of the prisoners dared move an inch, as though afraid that whatever spell the Society leader had been put under would break the second they twitched.

"I say we didn't realise," Harriet continued solemnly. "But I know that's not an excuse. Some of us didn't realise, its true. But some of us did realise, and did nothing about it. Some of us actively denied you simple things needed to survive, and that's just wrong. Food. Water. Warmth. These things that are basic human rights."

She paused to take a breath. "And I think that's our problem. We forgot that you are human. This is a prison. But we've turned it into hell, and that's just not on."

There were a few gentle nods, and Tabitha dared to press her face against the bars of her cell to get a better look. Most of the Society agents were looking uncomfortably at the floor, while a few (whom Tabitha could recognise as the less nice members) were scowling.

"Don't think we're going soft," Harriet warned, a hint of teasing in her voice now. "You're still prisoners. This is a punishment, and we do expect you to think about what you've done while you're down here. But this is a promise that things are going to change down here. We're not perfect... if we were we'd be Sues. We aren't going to get it right all the time. But we're going to try."

She paused, and made sure to cast her gaze around the basement, to every occupied cell. "We are really really sorry."

There were a few murmurs of disbelief. An actual apology? From the Society? This was not what anyone had expected when the group of agents had begun filing in five minutes ago.

Harriet turned on her heel to face her agents – the people she and the other leaders had handpicked to defend the multiverse against Mary Sues. And she looked at them all with such contempt that several of the nearest prisoners shivered. Harriet despite being a leader, was rarely seen in the basement, and it was rarer still that she took missions. None of the Sues in the basement had ever been brought in by her, so most of what they heard of her was whisper and rumour. But now as she surveyed her ragtag ensemble with her hardest glare, they understood just why this woman was so powerful.

"As for you lot," Harriet's voice came a little easier now. It was not shouting. It was quiet rage, and the kind of regret that was usually felt coming from parents. "I am very disappointed in you all. You wouldn't treat animals as badly as some of you have treated them."

A few agents shuffled back and forth on their feet. Even if their neglect had been a result of forgetfulness or sheer bone idle laziness, they all felt the guilt. It was the kind that came from knowing that someone you held highly had trusted you, and you had let them down in a way that they would never forgive you for.

"I know only a few of you have done this out of vindictiveness, and I am not here to point fingers..." Harriet continued. "I just want you to know that you're far bigger monsters than any Sue... even Willowe would have treated prisoners better than this, and I think we all know what kind of person she was."

She began pacing back and forth in front of the group, reminding everyone of a tiger ready to pounce on anyone who stepped out of line.

"Starting from now, we're sorting things out." She turned now to face the Sues, to explain. "In the Society, when an agent causes trouble, or is out of line, we run a three strike system. Three strikes, and then they are out. Several agents already have strikes to their names," despite clearly trying not to, she couldn't help but glance at Willie as she spoke – he already had a strike to his name after going on a murder spree and putting up the shrunken heads of his victims as Christmas baubles – Emily had needed therapy for two months to get over the sight.

"Disciplinary measures will be taken against any agent who neglects their duties down here, is unnecessarily cruel, or does not provide the required meals. And a strike will be added to their record."

She turned back to the agents. "I will be setting up the new rota later, and we will be sticking to it. But for now, I want every single one of you to go around each of these cells and apologise – don't groan at me!" she snapped, as several people let out exasperated sighs. "You brought this upon yourselves. And I hope when you do apologise it'll make you think about what you've done... yes Alice, what is it?"

Alice's hand, which had been timidly raised into the air, shot back down to her side. "Do we have to apologise, even if we were the ones who were feeding them properly?"

"Especially if you were the ones feeding them properly," Harriet folded her arms. "Because we should have seen what was happening first. So either we're stupid, or we subconsciously didn't care, and wanted them all to rot down here. We should be just as ashamed as the ones who were withholding food... now go on, all of you. Apologise. We aren't leaving until everyone has done each cell."

There was a very long pause. Clearly no one wanted to be the first one to go ahead. A few of the Sues, including Ash, snorted. The Society were arrogant to their cores...at the back of the basement, Roxelana gave a little giggle, lost in her own little world of madness.

Tash was the first to move, slipping out of the group and heading for the nearest cell, which happened to be Tabitha's. The Sue drew back slightly, but she kept her fists tightly clenched around the bars. The Assistant Librarian's mouth twitched a few times, before she managed to get the words out.

"I'm sorry."

Head hung, she moved on to the next cell. Adrian followed behind her, with Michael, Jess, Dave, Alice, Tyler... all manner of agents forming a neat line as they passed each prisoner, looking just a little more humble each time they uttered the words.

"Sorry."

"I'm really sorry."

Harriet smiled at them, before frowning at the few agents who were dragging their feet towards the queue. As the last of them joined the procession, the line came to a halt at the other end of the basement. Rhia had stopped outside Roxelana's cell, her gaze registering nothing but contempt for the Sue inside. Until now, Roxelana did not appear to have properly registered the rest of the Society, or their words. But now, as her arch nemesis drew up to the bars, her black eyes seemed to focus.

"Rhia," Harriet warned, and the agent jumped as she realised that she was holding up the queue. Something very basic seemed to be holding Rhia's words back, and for a moment, Harriet was worried. She had expected resistance from some of the agents, but she hadn't prepared for Rhia resisting – and to be honest, she could not blame Rhia for not wanting to do it after everything Roxelana had put her through.

But to her surprise and relief, Rhia muttered something that vaguely resembled "sorry" before shuffling on to the next cell. Behind her, Cristoph slunk forward, and Harriet was infinitely thankful that looks could not kill. Still, the ninja managed his apology, though it was laced with disgust as he went.

She knew some the agent's hearts were not in this – Willie said each apology with a hint of a threat in each syllable, and Aster looked as though she couldn't care less about being sorry. But equally there were several who were taking this incredibly seriously. Dave was managing a smile at each prisoner, and Valerie had tears in her eyes as she walked past each prisoner.

As the line thinned out, and the agents went back to their safe cluster in the middle of the corridor, Harriet herself went around each cell and spoke her own apologies. When was done, she had a wide smile on her face.

"Well, I think I've accomplished something here today," she said, clapping her hands together. "You can all get lost now. Think on what I've said, and I'll be going over the new procedure for meal times, showering and exercise tomorrow in the morning meeting. Dave, we – as in me, Tashy and Michael – will require an audience with you after dinner. We have plans to discuss."

She waved her hands, and flapped the agents up the stairs with all due haste. "Go on all of you. Scoot!"

As she ushered them away, the basement broke into chatter.

"What do you make of that?" Kerrie asked quietly. In the neighbouring cell, Reena could only shrug.

"They looked sincere. I mean, they did all apologise."

"Only because Harriet told them to!" Ash was scoffing. "Mark my words, that was probably just a show to stop us from yelling at them. We'll be going hungry tonight guys."

Twenty five minutes later, Ash was sulking in his cell, glaring at his dinner tray as though it had personally insulted his mother.

"Here we go," Harriet handed out the last of the trays, and Tabitha fell on it eagerly. "Don't burn your tongue!" she warned, as a yelp from another cell indicated another Sue had done just that. "It's Rhia's potato soup. I did suggest we all pitch in and make a massive Society Apology Soup, but some of the boys have no idea how to cook. Honestly! They suggested putting all sorts into it! Sugar, marmite, oreos... one of them even suggested we throw Twilight books in for flavour!" She huffed. "And they rejected my idea to put Innocent into it! So I'm having everyone take cookery classes. I can't believe some of our agents don't even know how to make a cup of tea!"

Pouting she headed off to the office to go and fill in the check sheet. Tabitha took a greedy sip of the soup. It was the best thing she'd had in months, and as she swallowed she watched Harriet sashay her way down the rows of cells.

"What was that you were saying Ash?" Reena called, her mouth half full with bread and cheese that had been provided on the side. "Something about us going hungry tonight?"

"Fuck off," came the grumpy response.

"Really though," it was Ryouga who spoke, his own soup bowl half finished. "Oreos in soup?" he gave a chuckle. "Innocent smoothie? I don't know how the Society have lasted this long...especially with someone as nutty as Harriet as their leader."

"She might be nutty," Tabitha agreed. "But did you see her face when she was telling them off? She looked really upset with them. I think she really meant what she was saying."

She paused, swirling her bread around in her soup. "Y'know I never used to believe that someone like Harriet could create someone as perfect as Willowe... but now I see it. She commanded all those agents like she was born to do it. She's really powerful. And if she put even a fraction of that power into Willowe...who knows what she could really be capable of?"

The basement had gone very quiet, as everyone temporarily forgot about the food, and the sounds of hungry chewing died off.

"Do you think the rumours are true?" Kerrie whispered. "Do you think Willowe... might come back?"

Tabitha gave a shiver, and was suddenly very conscious of everyone staring at her.

"I don't know. But seeing her author today, and the power she has... I believe anything is possible."

There was a clang from down the cells, and everyone jumped. Harriet had returned from the basement office, a triumphant grin on her face, that usually indicated a win in the cricket. She was drastically out of tune as she skipped down the cells.

"I drove my trac'er through yer haystack last night... ooh arr ooh arr!"

One Year On

A year is a long time. Particularly in a stressful job like being an agent of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society.

That's why so many of them are insane, or claim to be. It's just their way of dealing with it.

Some of those more sane than others however, need different defence mechanisms to the pressures of their jobs. And if there is one thing the job can guarantee, it's new and unique ways of becoming stressed...

Like for instance, being killed and remade as an almost completely indestructible clone of yourself...

oooo

"The meteors were Silver?"

"Yeah... They smashed the road up all around me..."

"Okay, right... and then you ran into..."

"Well, I was about to run into an Argos lorry when Asuka woke me up."

The aforementioned Luxray, sitting on the floor beside Dave, grimaced.

"Just as well I did then..." she said. Dave ruffled her mane affectionately. Valerie smiled, and looked back at the notes she had made as Dave described the nightmares he had experienced prior to his being replicated by the Mysterons.

"Right, a lot of these images are very specific, as if they correspond to ideas already in your head." She said, "Can you shed any light on that?"

Dave tensed slightly at this, and an observer wouldn't need Valerie's powers to see he had put up a wall around himself.

oooo

Phoenixia terminated the digital recall of the event she had pulled up from the Cameras. Everything after that was something of an anti-climax, as Dave, while willing to describe the events he could remember of his nightmares, had politely refused to express any feelings he had about their meaning.

Expressing feelings seemed to be a problem for Dave at the best of times. While he undoubtedly felt them, he had keeping quiet down to an art form. Phoenixia had begun to suspect that his tendency to make puns was a semi-concious attempt to avoid fading into the background completely.

As it happened, she wanted to tell him something she'd found out anyway, so maybe she could help out where Valerie had been blocked.

She located him in a part of the library the society seldom used and made her way there. He'd found the Holographic Planetarium that enabled the user to display 3-D star maps of any universe and interact with them as if they stood like a phantom, Light-Years tall, among the stars and planets.

She linked part of her digital conciousness with the display systems of the room in question, and immediately became slightly dizzy.

The star-field was scrolling left, right, up, down and several other unexpected directions, seemingly completely randomly. Since scrolling through the stars was generally triggered by the hand movements of the user, it seemed that Dave was trying to fend off a wasp inside the room, which although possible, wasn't all that likely.

She affected an entry, and found a very different explanation for this.

Dave was standing in the centre with his back to her, on the plate that allowed the user control of the environment, waving his arms like he was conducting an Orchestra.

A wave of one hand there, the cosmos would revolve in one direction around him. A downward sweep of the other hand, and the entire display scrolled downwards twenty light years, still rotating. In a sudden burst of energy, Dave gave the simulated cosmos a two-handed shove to his upper left, making pinpricks of light that represented stars shoot through him.

He was conducting this simulated universe with a passion he rarely displayed, and to Phoenixia's eyes, he was doing a pretty spectacular job of it as well.

Adding an overdose of cute to the proceedings was Asuka.

The Luxray had, by various means including her translation collar and straight-forward electric shocks to those who asked, consistently maintained that "I am a Lion, not a Kitten". In complete contradiction of this, she was running and jumping around, chasing stars as they passed her. Occasionally, the viewer would zoom in on a particular star-system, producing a planet her size, that she would jump on and wrestle with as it sped through the holographic cosmos.

At this point, Dave span in a clumsy pseudo-pirouette, and saw his audience. Letting out a strangled half syllable of shock that left the planetarium computer asking for clarification of his instruction, he fell over and landed on his behind, narrowly avoiding striking his head on the railing mounted on the left side of the control plate. The net effect of this was that the universe abruptly stopped what it was doing and began to drift slowly to the left and slightly towards Phoenixia.

Asuka too stopped in surprise, allowing the white dwarf star she was pawing at to scuttle out of reach. The Luxray somehow managed to blush through her fur, and shot the Ex-Hologram a baleful and chagrined glare that was diluted by a slow moving Nebula rolling over her, reducing her to a dark smut with two yellow eyes.

Phoenixia chuckled, and clapped her hands several times.

"Quite a performance." she said, swiftly adding, "Are you alright?" As Dave scrambled to his feet in an irritated fashion.

"Don't you knock?" he replied acidly, and colouring deeply.

"And miss the show?" Phoenixia returned, "No way! I'd never even thought of using this place like that." She paused. "I've gotta ask though. Why?"

"Why not?" Dave half-snapped, regretting it before he'd even finished saying it, and adding. "It's therapeutic... Makes me feel..." He stopped and looked away, uncertain of how to continue.

"Powerful?" suggested Phoenixia, in a matter-of-fact tone. Dave made no response, provoking a suggestive grin from the Ex-Hologram.

"Well, if you ever want to find out how powerful you are..."

Asuka's eyes narrowed and her fur began to rise on her back, a "Protective mother" posture. Or it was her "Rivalry" ability kicking in, Phoenixia wasn't sure which.

"While I appreciate the spirit in which that offer was intended," Dave replied, colouring even more. "that's not the way I work."

Phoenixia shrugged. "Shame. Still, you know where to find me..."

Dave glanced at her, apparently surprised by her willingness to drop the subject.

"What was it you wanted?" Asuka put in, the vocal synthesiser giving her a feminine voice with a "Mid-Atlantic" accent. Her natural language was audible beneath this, still ringing with maternal tones.

"I was looking for Dave."

"Thank you for your call." Dave said, still looking away, "If you would care to leave your number, I'll try and get back to you sometime next millennium."

Phoenixia smiled slightly. "I thought we'd found out you weren't immortal?" Dave shrugged.

"Cell degeneration is mitigated by the Retro-Metabolic processes, but it still happens, or so say Valerie's tests. I'll probably outlive everyone but you and Adrian though..."

Phoenixia decided not to add Aster, and the rest of the library's immortals to that list, and instead chose to comment on the muttered addition to that statement he seemed to think she hadn't heard.

"What sort of stupid thing did you think he'd be doing specifically?"

Dave turned and looked at her, obviously hesitant to speak.

"Dave, there's not much you have to be afraid of right now, is there?" Phoenixia pressed.

"It's not him he's afraid of hurting!" Asuka hissed. Phoenixia nodded slowly in understanding and closed her eyes briefly.

"There, I've turned the Microphones on the cameras off. What happens now is seen and not heard." She smiled, disarmingly.

Dave frowned at her for ten full seconds before answering.

"I... Well... What do you want me to say?"

"That's sort of up to you, but if you want a prompt..." Phoenixia paused in a parody of thought. "...nightmares?"

Asuka, who had been crackling with static for the last few seconds, saw she was trying to help, and subsided into a watchful silence.

Dave sighed and muttered something about inevitabilities. "I thought I'd explained that on Cloudbase." he said aloud. "I saw the thing I joined the society to prevent happening before my eyes. I saw my friends become ravening bloodthirsty monsters. And I saw that I'd failed..."

"Oh? Failed at what?"

"Nix' don't you ever see a... nostalgic look in Tash's eyes? Or for that matter, any of the more senior society members."

Phoenixia thought for a bit. "I suppose... But about what specifically?"

"About the case of Cerebus Syndrome, or whatever that trope is, that the society has. You know what I mean. A longing for the days when all of this was just a bit of fun for them. Saving the known universe, AND getting to squeal fangirlishly over favourite characters."

"You think you missed out?"

"No I didn't miss out!" Dave returned. "Because those days can happen again! All we have to do is end this war, and take steps to make sure it doesn't happen again. That's what I was trying to do, that's where I failed."

Phoenixia frowned slightly. "Just to clear things up for me... What you refer to as the Battle of the Library, everyone else calls the War. So..."

"I call it that because we were already at war." Dave replied. With impeccable timing, a red giant star rolled over the holographic star-field beneath his feet, casting him in a deep red glow. "We've been at war the whole time, and Mesha was right about one thing. We declared it, albeit unwittingly."

"Go on..." Phoenixia didn't quite follow his logic.

Dave looked up at a cluster of stars, winking through a dark nebula to his upper right. "Why do people read and/or write fan, or indeed any type of fiction? They want to escape their lives, step outside themselves, and be who they've always wanted to be..." He frowned. "If you're a long, stringy child with more imagination than muscles and at the mercy of bullies, of course you'd jump at the chance to fight evil alongside your heroes, even if it's all in your head..."

He turned to look at Phoenixia. "You don't want your new self to be a punching bag, so you give them superpowers, the ability to throw planets around for instance... giant robots, legions of kick-ass creatures-"

"One of me isn't enough for you?" Asuka asked, playfully. Dave half-smiled.

"I should have expected that..." he said. Phoenixia laughed.

"Anyway," Dave went on, "The point is, you do all this, you're ready to show the bullies what you can do, and when they taunt you again? In your imagination at least, they come to seriously regret it! Both selves, real and fictional are happy with this, although the latter has done all the work."

His face darkened again. "And then, a new set of bullies turn up!"

Dave injected his voice with a playground sneer at this point.

"Meeeeeeeeeery-Sue! Meeeeeeeeeery-Sue! Look at the Peeeeerfect Meeeeeeeery-Sue! Well what do you think you're going to do? You're going to lay them out as well! They're attacking your character, the ideal you, you yourself! You're not going to stand for that!"

"Hmmmmmmmm..." said Phoenixia, thinking over all this carefully. But Dave wasn't quite finished.

"Then you see several of the bullies banding together into a society of exterminators. Hypocrites! They accuse you being perfect when they're going around locking/beating up any character that doesn't meet their ideas of perfection? You'll hit them where it hurts the most, and then...!" he stopped, realising he was getting a bit carried away.

"I... think you get the point." he said, slightly embarrassed. "But I'm starting to think Mesha's author was of that mindset... if you get my meaning."

Phoenixia frowned. "Yes, I do get your meaning. In fact, that's one of the reasons I was looking for you initially..." She closed her eyes again and a holographic screen popped up between them, with a screen-shot of an email on it.

The email read:

Dear Sir/Madam. I am contacting you on behalf of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society.

Approximately thirteen months ago, you alerted us to the presence of the Mary-Sue Mesha, who was absent without leave from an unspecified Doctor Who Fan-Fiction of your creation. The good news is that she has been defeated, expiring in battle due to circumstances beyond our control. The bad news however is that she caused us a great deal of trouble, seriously threatening the Canon of the fandom, Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons, as well as the serious inconveniencing of a society agent.

Dave looked up at this point, and raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't want to complicate the explanation." Phoenixia replied, gesturing him to read on.

Also, certain matters surrounding her we are at a loss to explain, and we would appreciate any assistance you can give us in these matters.

Could you provide us with a plot summary of the fic in which she was born to Professor Yana (A.K.A The Master) and an original character of your devising? I ask because after she left your fic, she became a member of a group called the "Inventors Guild", and was as a result, hunted down by the forces of the Lieutenant Mary-Sue. These outside events seem to account for a larger amount of her Sueishly tragic back-story than is usually the case, and we wish to study this phenomenon in greater detail.

Also, she seemed to be obsessed with revenge upon the society for unclear reasons, and while I suspect she infers that we forced the creation of the central authority she fell foul of by reason of our existence, such theories are unfounded without adequate proof. If you can provide this proof, or indeed prove otherwise, we would be delighted to hear from you.

Yours faithfully.

One of Phoenixia's various email pseudonyms followed.

"Did you get a response?" Dave asked, as the message faded. Phoenixia smiled humourlessly.

"I sent it the day after you got back, and got no response. A few hours ago, I followed it up. Same address, same message, just with an addition that apologised if I had got the wrong address, but I know I didn't. I got a response almost immediately..."

Another, much shorter message appeared.

Dear customer, I am sorry to inform you that the account you are trying to contact does not exist in our database. Please ensure the address you wish to send the message to is typed correctly.

Systems Administrator.

"I did a little digging," Phoenixia went on, "and found that the account he sent us the email alerting us to Mesha from did exist. It was deleted from the server about an hour after my first email arrived."

"They don't want to be reminded." Dave said, "Or thought @ was trying to get to their computer." Phoenixia raised an eyebrow.

"Is that what you believe?"

"Not for a second..." Dave sighed, shaking his head.

"So, Mesha Yana was an anti-society weapon created by someone with a grudge..." Asuka put in, as if to confirm the idea.

"Its looking like that..." Dave agreed. "You see what I mean now? We're generating enough enemies in the fictional world without authors getting the wrong idea and turning on us as well."

"Fair point, consider it made." Phoenixia replied, "But I still don't fully understand why you felt you needed to be indestructible before you could talk about all this. If its the reason you joined the society in the first place, then I'd expect some serious revolutionary zeal on your part."

Dave hesitated. "Fear... Isn't always rational..."

Phoenixia was slightly surprised at the implication here. "You're afraid of the society? Is that related to why you didn't go to Stonehenge?"

"No!" Said Dave firmly. "I always meant to go there... I just... became otherwise engaged..."

Part of the nightmare he had described to Valerie came back to Phoenixia. "You ran into an Argos Delivery Lorry?" She hazarded.

"No...well, I suppose I almost did..." Dave replied, "They have a habit of driving on the wrong side of the road on blind bends. That's why they're one of my three pet hates when I'm driving... The time stop made it easier to avoid an accident. Thing is..." he paused as a pulsar winged its merry way across the star field like a confused butterfly.

"...it wasn't even a particularly near miss," He continued, "but it set me thinking. "Now I'm in Real Life, anything happens to me here, I'll wind up actually dead... like that girl I just saw Tash immolate..." Combined with the fact that last winter was the coldest on record until this year... and that I hadn't driven for months... and... I'm fishing for excuses now, aren't I?" he finished uneasily.

"Just a bit." Asuka put in, just to remind people she was there.

"You got jittery?" Phoenixia suggested. "There's nothing wrong with that. Like you said, fear isn't always rational."

"It would have to happen just when I'm needed the most though!" Dave almost spat. "By the time I felt calm enough to go on, the Red Sky was fading, and there was a door in the middle of a field to take me back to the library." He paused. "Then, just to put the cherry on it, I go and put my foot in a ditch and nearly twist my ankle!"

"Fears vanishing at crucial moments is a Sueish trait, Dave. It proves you aren't one." Phoenixia replied, soothingly, crossing off Dave's limp from her list of things that needed explaining.

Dave actually glared at Phoenixia as she said this. "Why do you make it sound like they're a different species? They're human."

"Oh? Why do you say that?" She asked, curiously.

"Silver: Pride. Willowe: Madness. Mesha: Anger. Most of the rest of them: Arrogance. How much more human can you get?"

The ex-hologram considered this. "Bit cynical... but a fair point..." She noted that Dave was speaking more freely now, and tried to keep the momentum going while he was in a talkative mood. "So, now we've explained that, why are you so uncomfortable with Adrian and the Counter Guardians now?"

Dave sighed. "Well, in a nutshell, they're just... aloof little..." He faltered.

"Dave," Phoenixia said. "if they involved themselves with everything then it'd be like having a Sue around. How do you make a sword? You-"

"-stick it face-down in a burning forge and hit it with a hammer. Otherwise it's just another lump of ore to throw a someone." Dave finished, "I wrote that on my entrance exam, remember? I understand that. What I don't like is the implication that someone has the right to decide exactly which unpleasant events arbitrarily have to happen and which ones don't. No one does! And it's invariably those who think they do that cause the most trouble."

"Well... The Powers That Be-"

"And she dodges the question, as we knew she would..." Asuka interrupted, earning her a warning glare from Dave.

"Excuse me?" Phoenixia asked. Asuka looked up at her from where she was lying, and gave her a firm look.

"Powers That Be, is a generic catch-all term." she said, "It means Nothing!"

"Asuka... If you don't mind," Dave put in, "I'd like to fight my own battles, please?" The Luxray, having spoken her piece, fell silent again.

Phoenixia looked from Pokemon to human, surprised by this turn of events. Dave took this as a prompt.

"I'd have phrased it a little differently... but now it's been said... I agree with her. People who refer blandly to generic catch-all terms to justify their actions, I usually associate with those inhabiting a moral high ground of their own devising, regardless of those they see as objects of study below."

Phoenixia was now officially flabbergasted. A nasty little voice began to snigger in the back of her mind, which she tried hard to ignore.

"You'll have to give me an example..." She said at last, suppressing it with an effort. Dave thought for a second, opened his mouth to speak, then had a better idea and turned to the planetarium computer plate.

"I'll show you." he said, simply. Then he spoke to the computer.

"New Star chart. Fandom: Skies of Arcadia. Display planet: Arcadia. Scale: Planetary diameter, six feet. Go."

The room went black for an instant, then was replaced by a different combination of stars. A red focusing circle moved in on one, just in front of the control plate, then expanded to show the planet in question orbiting it.

Arcadia was a remarkable planet in several ways. First, and most obvious, of these things was the six moons that were stuck in geostationary orbits around it. Second, was that each moon was a different colour, and the terrain that their satellite view of the world afforded seemed to indicate there was more to this than mere aesthetics. The third thing, which the second drew Phoenixia's attention to nicely, was that the land masses of the planet were suspended in what for other planets of comparable size would be the mid-stratosphere.

"I'll spare you the whole fandom back story at this point." Dave said, "The crux of the matter is that several centuries before the events of the game, five of the six civilisations of Arcadia went to war, each creating a massive Cybernetic creature-weapon for the purpose. The sixth civilisation, those that lived under the silver moon, refused to get involved, even going so far as to erect a massive transcontinental forcefield around their homeland of Soltis to prevent attacks of any kind from landing."

"I'm with you so far..." Phoenixia said.

"Good. The elders of the silver civilisation, who were six men sustained far beyond a mortal lifespan by their technology, decided that "the world could not be saved". Thus they created their own weapon. It called down the rains of destruction from the moons..."

As Dave spoke, a chine rang out, and a bright white beam shot up from the massive hexagonal fortress-continent beneath the silver moon. Apparently, they were about to have this event demonstrated to them.

The beam shot space-wards, splitting into six as it did so, each splinter targeting a different moon. Once all six had struck, all six moons vibrated visibly, and began to shed massive chunks of moon rock down onto the surface of the planet below. Craters, some miles across to be visible at this distance, were blasted out of the continents. Some of the smaller islands under the blue moon, which happened to be on the night-side of the planet, were pulverised completely, the lights that denoted settlements upon them extinguished in a heartbeat.

Phoenixia felt nauseous. "You think Adrian... that any of them..."

"Without hesitation." Dave said, blankly watching the last of the silver meteors ripple harmlessly off the Dome of Light protecting Soltis, showing exactly where the idea of them in his dreams had come from.

"What have they done that gave you that idea?"

Asuka snorted. "Oh, not much really..."

Dave looked at Phoenixia, his incredulity showing in his face.

"Look at them!" he said. "It's obvious, screamingly obvious! The line of suspicious coincidences is easily two light-years long!"

"Such as...?" Phoenixia asked, bracing herself for a nuclear strength rant.

"The librarian of the depository of infinite knowledge lets a group of insane mortals use the aforementioned Library as a base of operations. That's a clear case of 'Inside the tent pissing out' if ever I saw it."

"Sounds to me like ill-informed hindsight." Phoenixia put in, deliberately trying to break his argument into manageable chucks. "Bit of a dangerous concept for a historian..." Dave bristled.

"If Adrian's little goodbye note is anything to go by, he clearly had the benefit of foresight, which for some reason he chose not to share with the rest of us." he shot back.

"If the society had stayed in the library that day, how many of you would have died?" Phoenixia asked. "You wouldn't let that happen either."

"Exactly." Dave replied. "Which is why I'd have been preparing the society carefully for what was to come, so when it did happen, we would have won before she got to earth."

"So... You think the society lost the battle of the library?"

"Oh, we won. In the same way the republic in Star Wars won the clone wars." Dave returned, frowning deeply. "Think about it. The society comes through almost completely unscathed, save for Tash, who is in utter despair for her loved one. The ideal moment to gain control from behind the scenes. And who should start to take more of an interest in the amoeba with table manners they have up to now ignored? Why, our old friends the Counter Guardians."

"Dave, Tash had just been given a job she barely knew how to do, and she was distressed." Phoenixia replied. "They weren't needed before then. Besides, if Kuroneko wasn't around, we wouldn't have known it was possible to bring Adrian back."

"Suspicious coincidence alert!" Asuka put in. Dave nodded.

"There just happens to be a loophole in the rules the Counter Guardians enforce that accommodates one of their own? And they happen to exercise it directly after they make it quite clear they think she isn't taking it seriously enough? I'm surprised anyone swallowed that."

"So you think anyone who comes back from the dead should be met with the same suspicion you think you're getting?" Phoenixia asked, beginning to understand the underlying problem Dave was having.

"In my case, there is a clear precedent." Dave replied, not really answering the question, and so far confirming Phoenixia's suspicions. "Adrian's seemed to be completely messing with his own rules, and he got a chance to prove his loyalty beyond doubt by rescuing Aster, hours after he got back? Come to that, I'm not fully convinced he died at all."

"Excuse me?"

"What proof do we have? One artefact that could have been yanked from around his neck in the heat of battle. One document that at the time it was written was describing a hypothetical situation. And the post of Librarian, where no one has made any secret of the fact that it can be passed on while the previous incumbent is still alive." Dave frowned even more deeply.

"In fact, the coincidence is so suspicious, I wouldn't be surprised if the whole thing was planned months in advance."

"Now I'm really not convinced..." Phoenixia muttered.

"I don't want to believe it either." Dave agreed, "But that's the most likely scenario from the evidence I've got..."

"Dave... Do you have a girlfriend?" Phoenixia asked, after a moment of thought. Dave blinked, slightly surprised by the non-sequitur.

"No, never have had." he replied, seemingly totally at ease with admitting that fact.

"Then you wouldn't understand why Adrian couldn't mess Tash around like that. Not really."

"He took death lightly enough to freely give it up to become a Counter Guardian." Dave returned. "And don't think I don't feel these things just because I don't express them..."

"Yeah, the author covered that earlier."

A great rumbling crash echoed through the library, closely followed by the expected cry of "ASTER!".

"Look," Dave replied, slightly irritated now, "Adrian only died because the rest of them hung him out to dry! They could have beaten Willowe in the Library before she set foot on earth, they chose not to. Adrian died because they decided his relationship with Tash compromised his duties, and they set up someone they thought they could control the society through in his place. Why else would Saito be so angry with Tash only gone for two days at a convention? He finally woke up to the fact that they couldn't!"

"Harriet is the society leader..." Phoenixia reminded him.

"I know, but Tash does most of the actual moving and doing. Control or influence her and you control the society." Dave reposted. "For example, Adrian appears as if he just popped out for a pint for the night and no one dares question it out of fear of her!"

"BEN!" shouted Adrian, having established Aster's innocence.

"Those questions were asked, just not in front of you..." Phoenixia said, but she had to admit Dave did have the beginnings of a point there...

"And that's another thing." he went on, "When Kuroneko drags him back from the rest he's supposedly earned a thousand times over, something I'm honestly shocked Valerie went along with by the way, apparently without the knowledge of the rest, none of them are surprised in the least, nor do they remonstrate with her for breaking the rules she's supposed to be enforcing!"

"That's a sweet thing to say," Phoenixia said, "But you're got their jurisdiction wrong aga-"

"And what about three of them blindly leading everyone to Stonehenge?" Dave continued, his voice rising, and ignoring her completely, "Salisbury Plain is a training ground for the British Army for crying out loud! All the weapons you could ever want! Or at the very least, deny to your enemies. Its an act of pure stupidity not to make use of that information, and if there is one thing those serene little spooks are not, it is stupid! Conclusion: the intention was for the greater part of the society to die in battle at Stonehenge."

"Now you're just raving..." Asuka murmured.

"TYLER!" Adrian was determined to get to the bottom of this one.

"You don't believe that."

Dave spluttered to a halt at Phoenixia's amused expression and tone of voice.

"If you really believed there was treachery that serious going on, you'd have told someone. End of matter."

Dave had no adequate response to this, save a small growl.

"Why would you spend so long in here that the controls become second nature to you, and you were able to watch something like the Rains of Destruction all the way through without being sick? You're trying desperately to convince yourself of this line of thinking."

"DRAKE?"

Asuka looked at the ceiling. "Okay, he is really mad now..."

"Why do you want to believe they're traitors so badly?" Phoenixia asked directly.

"Its not a... Well they..." Dave spluttered, now off balance. "Look, if I were doing everything they have, then treachery would be my motive, and long-term self-interest would be my ultimate goal." he finally managed to get out.

"They're not you." Asuka put in, abruptly changing sides, as Phoenixia had been expecting she would for some time now. Dave glared at her for a moment, then his shoulders slumped, and he sighed heavily.

"EMILY?"

"Okay, why were you playing along if you didn't agree, Mousey?"

Asuka twitched. "Why do you still call me Mousey if you know I'm a lion and not a giant mouse now?" Phoenixia laughed.

"Dave, she was playing along so you'd get all of that out of your system before it poisoned you."

Asuka nodded. "Come on boss, I know you don't like making mistakes if you're the only one that could be laughed at for making them. Nix' is right, it poisons you, you won't die, but it'll hurt like nothing on earth for months."

"Fair point..."

"I didn't say anything I didn't believe myself just now," Asuka added with a frown in Phoenixia's direction, "And just for the record, there is a certain event involving cigarette smoke and the PCMSPS that I think Satin Pyjamas needs to explain in more detail..."

"PHOENIXIA!"

"Disqualified!" Phoenixia shouted back, "My name doesn't begin with F!"

Dave looked from ex-hologram to Pokemon, all these events piling on top of one another, until a synapse fired at random in his brain. He sat down on the floor, laughing like never before. A second later, Asuka and Phoenixia were convulsing with mirth themselves. The fact that Asuka's translation collar didn't know what to make of her laughter and cheerfully kept saying "Please Repeat" to draw attention to this fact, and occasionally squawking with feedback, meant that it was several minutes before the three of them sobered up.

"I think I just sprained something..." Dave wheezed at last, clutching his chest.

"Satin Pyjamas..." Phoenixia giggled, "Now there's an interesting image..." Asuka shrugged.

"This thing's auto-correct has its moments..." she agreed, gesturing at the collar.

They sat there for a moment longer, the glow of Arcadia's purple moon bathing them in cold light.

"It shouldn't hurt that much to laugh..." Dave said, "Maybe I don't do that enough..."

"No, I noticed that." Phoenixia said. "Making bad puns is one thing, but actual laughter seems to be thin on the ground in your case."

"True..." Dave replied, "I guess that's one of the reasons I'm a bit... well... jealous of... just about everyone in the society, if I'm honest."

"You're too serious for your own good." Asuka agreed.

"Which is why this war has to end ASAP." Dave returned. "Then everyone can lighten up, not just me."

Phoenixia sat up. "Okay, just to recap: You're afraid of the society, for reasons we haven't quite established yet. You've got unreasonably high expectations of yourself, in that you believe you have to single-handedly end the war. You're jealous of most everyone else in the society... And I'm assuming you're not jealous of me due to breast envy."

"Ha ha," Dave replied, sarcastically, going pink again, because he always did in that sort of situation. "You assume correctly!"

"What do you have to be jealous of? You know a lot of stuff about fandoms no-one else had even heard of, and major detail about others that we do. You saved Lily's life a while ago, you cut an Ak'Zahar in two when they got in, when we went to rescue Aster-"

"Duty, Luck, Guilt." Dave interrupted. "In reverse order." he added quickly. This didn't clarify things any more so he elaborated.

"I helped rescue Aster because duty demanded it, I was flailing wildly in a panic when that gargoyle got in the way of a swing, and..." he paused, guiltily, "I was probably the one that gave Lily that cold in the first place..." he mumbled.

Asuka rolled her eyes. "You don't know that..."

"So if you didn't have this sense of duty, you'd have left us to get on with rescuing Aster?" Phoenixia asked, beginning to get irritated at how obtuse he was being. "Maybe even left us to die in a problem you could have solved, the point of you joining the society?"

"Well... No... but-"

"Well there you are then! Now for heaven's sake, stop pretending to be stupid!" The Ex-hologram snapped, unexpectedly, making Dave and Asuka jump. "If there is one thing you are not, its stupid."

Dave bristled again, and Phoenixia privately felt she had hit the Jackpot.

"Its easy for you, isn't it!" he snapped back. "All you have to do is walk into a room and people notice you. I can't make friends, or get a girlfriend for that matter that easily, a fact that I'm reminded of with depressing regularity! And yet Tash is so close to her friends she calls them family! Have you any idea what I'd give for that? Thing is, I try too hard, and all I'll come across as is either a Geek or a Stu!"

He sent Arcadia flying with an extravagant hand gesture as he stood up and started pacing around the room. He thought better when his legs were moving.

"You think I'm not told, day in, day out what a great potential I've got? Who wants that? Whatever you do, people are always disappointed because you could have done so much more!"

Asuka shook her head, telling Phoenixia that this was far from true.

"I have to live with the knowledge that I've let them down. That there's something more I could have done. Something more that was expected of me... And I have to prove I can measure up all over ag..." Dave ground to a halt as a rocky moon he could fit in the palm of his hand drifted across in front of him. He found its parent planet nestling in the small of his back and moved it to one side.

"That's a relief, I thought my selfishness had acquired its own centre of gravity for a second there..." he said, smiling slightly. "You're still goading me, right?"

"You do make it easy for a girl." Phoenixia replied.

"I suppose I do..." Dave muttered.

"Look, you've had a lot to deal with in the last year, society and otherwise. That's stirred your emotions a bit, and Mesha and her patron took advantage of this to mess with you." Phoenixia summed up. "But you didn't make it easy for yourself by keeping it so quiet. If something bothers you, then say so. We don't bite, much..."

Dave looked like he disagreed, but said nothing.

"Second: don't be so diffident. You can do a lot more than you think, and it don't feel guilty if it isn't what everyone else wants."

"Now you sound like my mother..." Dave replied. Phoenixia laughed.

"She's a wise woman." she replied, "Third, go out and have some fun. What's the point of having access to most of the fictional universes in existence if you don't use it? As for the Counter Guardians... Well... I don't know everything myself, but..."

"Don't poke fun at Kor'assaro, Shrike." Asuka interrupted, "He may not be your type, or mine for that matter, but Corax and Jaghatai Kahn are both sons of the Emperor." Dave actually boggled at her.

"I didn't think Space Marine Battle Novels were your style..."

Asuka rolled her eyes. "You've been getting up at five Am to get to work lately, that wakes me up and I have to do something with myself. Fortunately I found an audio book room that doesn't require opposable thumbs to operate."

Phoenixia thought for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, that works."

"I'm not fully convinced..." Dave muttered, although he didn't feel it was quite appropriate to point out that the Traitor Primarch, Horus was a son of the Emperor as well. "Still... benefit of the doubt I suppose... I guess the Counter Guardians remind me of the parts of my personality I don't like to acknowledge..." Phoenixia could tell how much that admission cost him.

"And you feel you have to prove you're not like that?" Phoenixia asked, going for the ultimate question.

"Not exactly." Dave took his shrunken axe out of his pocket and showed it to her. "Viking means, sea-raider." he said. "And there's more to them than that. I'm thought of as a clown, or someone that breaks stuff, there's more to me than that."

"Well, like I said, say so."

Dave put his weapon away again. "Perhaps all that isn't as obvious as I thought..." he said, then added "If I think something is obvious, I generally assume that everyone else does as well... and they're just ignoring it. One of the bad habits I joined to society to get rid of..."

"You'll get there eventually."

Dave looked up at Phoenixia with new respect. "Thanks. You should show this side of yourself more often."

Phoenixia grinned. "Oh I could show you more than my side..."

"No thank you." said Dave quickly, only slightly blushing this time.

Phoenixia made no attempt to hide her disappointment, but smiled none-the-less. "See? You're getting more confident by the minute." She turned to leave.

"Don't hide in here too long." she added over her shoulder as she closed the door.

Dave and Asuka were alone again.

"You're a sneaky little rat." Dave said to her. Asuka shrugged.

"What good Pokemon doesn't protect their trainer, even from themselves?"

"Fair point." Dave conceded. He took a last look at the stars in the Planetarium, before shutting it down and leaving, his Luxray at his side.

oooo

A few hours later, Phoenixia was doing some routine diagnostics on the Phoenix Zord when Asuka trotted into the cabin.

"How can I help you?" Phoenixia asked, then noticed the basket of cookies she was carrying.

"You already have." She replied, placing it on the floor. "Despite walking in on us uninvited..."

Phoenixia grinned. "Well, I had to, or he'd have just blocked me as well." She looked down at the cookies. "How many of Rhia's cats are you looking after next time they're here?"

"Don't know, don't mind particularly. I love kittens, maybe that's why I like acting like one now and again... in private." It seemed that Rhia's baking was also a bribe. Phoenixia got the message.

"Right. Dave's getting an early night then?"

Asuka nodded. "He doesn't need me watch-dogging him, he just wants the company." she said, "I'll humour him for a while until he gets his confidence back, then we'll see where we go from there."

Phoenixia knelt down on the floor and actually hugged her. "You're a loyal little thing." she said. "And I know he appreciates it. Just for the record, our little chat stays off the record until Dave says otherwise, or unless someone needs to know to stop an attack on the library."

"Thanks..." came the mildly embarrassed response as they separated. "I guess you've had similar problems with Adrian, huh?"

"Yeah... less so since Tash has been with him... Maybe you need to find Dave a girlfriend."

Asuka frowned. "I'm no puppeteer. Besides, I know him well enough to know that my making those moves for him would be counter-productive."

Phoenixia smiled. It was a pity they saw things through a different lens, as she felt they had a lot in common. "Thanks for these, by the way."

Asuka grinned. "With your lifestyle, you'll need the energy." she said, and ducked the half-eaten cookie thrown at her as she left the cabin, laughing.

Given that she was partly right, that was probably a waste of a cookie... Phoenixia thought to herself. I'd better have some of these before something serious happens to them...

She bit into one, savouring the taste of the cinnamon on top of it. This was another part of having an actual physical form she enjoyed, and for once the shadow at the back of her thoughts kept its distance...

Take A Number

"You're Akai right?" Chloe asked, extending her hand.

"Yes, who are you?" Akai replied, exchanging the handshake.

"I'm Chloe. Agent and gadget specialist," she answered.

"Excellent, can you do anything about this?" Akai asked, pushing a small, cold DS into her hand.

"I could if I didn't have monitor duty, but I'm sure Charis could help you... her lab is just down the hall."

"Okay, it was nice meeting you Chloe."

---

Jared checked his watch as he worked on replacing the oil pan on his pickup truck, after he did that it would be all but repaired, after that was accomplished the vehicle would be all but fully rebuilt from it's clash with Death, he was pondering taking a break and going to find some pizza rolls when the door to his lab slammed open, the sudden noise startled Jared, causing him to slam his forehead against the very oil pan he was repairing.

"Ow! Whoever is there would it kill you to knock?" Jared responded, rubbing his forehead.

"It might, and surely you wouldn't want me to risk my life in such a menial way?" Akai said, grabbing Jared's sliding cart and pulling him out from beneath the pickup.

"Ah Akai, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Jared asked, rubbing his sore head.

"A certain someone borrowed my DS without asking, and when I walked into the room they panicked and threw it in the freezer, now it won't turn on!" Akai said, handing the semi-frozen gaming device to Jared.

Jared pulled his collar and gulped as he remembered finding a DS on the table, getting up to get a bowl of ice cream and returning to the table without the console.

Crap, I must have accidentally stuck that thing in the freezer.

"Well I can tell you right now it's because the battery acid in your power cell is frozen, it's a good thing you didn't try to charge it or else it might have exploded." Jared mumbled.

"Don't care, just fix it..." Akai said, "You there, cookies!" She shouted at the Jun-akuma, the tiny demon happily obliged with a mid-sized platter.

"Small electronics aren't really my specialty, Charis or Chloe would be alot more qualified for this type of thing..." Jared said, searching around for his custom DS screw driver.

"I know, but they're both busy, that's why I'm asking you..." Akai stated between cookies.

Jared felt wounded at Akai pure, unrestrained bluntness.

"Wow, you really are negative..." Jared said, removing the back panel on the DS.

Akai just shrugged and resumed eating cookies as Jared tried to get the tightly packed battery removed.

---

"General, what is that?" Major Industry asked, pointing at the Jun-akuma floating nearby.

"It's ah... ah... turnip maybe," Idea replied, unsure of what to make of the creature which was roughly the same height as the tallest members of the LPGB.

"It's staring at us General, what do we do?"

"Hey, turnip-thing! What are you?" General Idea called, the Jun-Akuma just stared.

"Maybe it doesn't speak english?" Follower added.

"Tu hablo espaniol?" Captain Crunch prompted, the tiny demon did not react in the slightest.

"Let's return to base, I want surveillance teams to follow this... turnip-thing around until we actually learn what it is." Idea said before getting back in his Humvee.

---

"Well, I changed out your battery, I will let you know if I ever find out who put your DS in the fridge..." Jared said.

"Okay, thanks." Akai said.

"If you ever need any more work done I can hook you up right here..." Jared said, sliding back under the truck and going back to work.

"That's what she said!" Akai shouted.

"Wha- OW!" Jared yelled, leaning up and banging his head on the oil pan again.

The Jun-akuma floated next to Jared and pulled out a band-aid as Jared clutched his aching forehead.

"Come back anytime, I always aim to satisfy..." Jared said, bandaging his forehead.

"That's what she said!" Akai said before slamming the door.

"Somedays... it doesn't pay to be smart," Jared muttered, watching the closed door

Up Against The Sky

It was something of a surprise to discover that he could open a plothole into the Library Arcanium. Then again, Zero supposed it shouldn't have been—if the safeguards on the portals were coded to DNA, it would have been impossible to make the distinction. Save for some minor differences in appearance, for all that computers (and, in fact, most magical energies) knew, he was the Librarian. It kind of made him wonder if he could also pull cool tricks around the Library, like opening up rooms or levitating books.

On a whim he faced a nearby shelf and lifted his hand, not sure what else to do. Predictably, nothing happened. Maybe book-levitating had more to do with being a mage than being Librarian? Zero didn't feel like digging through his memories to find out. Coming here was a bad idea to begin with, for more reasons than just the risk of getting caught, but... curiosity is a powerful thing.

He strode lightly down the deserted corridor, half exploring for the sake of exploring and half wondering where Valerie's room was. Not that he wanted to snoop, of course. Just for future reference. Hell, the entire layout of the Library would be useful if he was able to just pop in like this, although he wasn't quite willing to go that far just yet. He still had his suspicions about a lot of things, primarily Runoa's intentions. It kinda seemed preposterous that she didn't know he could do this, so why had she never mentioned it?

There was a pop sound and a small draft across his skin, and Zero turned from idly staring at book titles and thinking to notice, whaddaya know, he did have company. Fantastic.

Hovering before him was a tiny, golden dragon with the bluest of blue eyes. She hissed warningly at him, and he took half a step back.

But before he could do anything else, she lunged, and their eyes locked, and—

__________________________________________________

The first thing he sees is the face of his creator, the face of Creation itself. Herself, he realizes after a moment. He registers a veritable mountain of tumbling brown waves and curls that perfectly framed a delicate, elfin face and sparkling emerald eyes, light, ethereal clothing that sways in the breeze, and the overall demeanor of a beautiful, enviromental, fun-loving yet health-conscious genki girl (as physically fit as any Mary Sue could expect to be, but otherwise entirely reliant on the powers her sketchpad enables her; deprive her of that and knocking her out would be simple). She looked like every starving artist wannabe's irrational fantasy of what a real Bohemian was supposed to look like, what they dreamed that they could someday be if they could only get out of this damn flat and get recognized, and for a moment all he can think of is how cliche the whole scenario is.

He has just literally been drawn to life by the combined result of a pre-teen girl's fantasy and a deal with the devil, and not even an original idea at that. The knockoff creation of an unrealistic cliche, who in turn was the pawn of an even bigger cliche, if one of the tyrannical kind.

The juxtaposition of such polarizing ideas might have struck him as funny, but his strict policy of always finding things to laugh about wouldn't come until later. Much later.

Creation looks upward at Runoa for approval (clingy and dependent, and constantly seeking external verification for her work, as artists tend to do), and after a long moment of examing him up and down, Runoa nods.

"Not precisely what I had in mind, but I suppose he'll do."

Creation practically sags in relief, and he sort of wonders what it is that these women imagine he'll "do" (a weapon is fine, a puzzle piece is fine, but this is how she'll make that bastard hurt—), until his thought process is interrupted as Runoa speaks once again to her subordinate.

"You may erase the other attempts. They're of no use to me."

A shiver passes through him, but it will be a long time before he understands why.

-o-

I'm holding onto white balloons
Up against a sky of doom.
Tell me you see them.

-o-

She has been following the girl for some time now, on and off, for years. She never does anything but watch, or occasionally pull some antics to amuse. The child is only nine, but the follower knows the girl can feel her presence, even see her sometimes, though what she sees varies considerably from day to day.

As the girl grows older and her abilities begin to develop, a rudimentary form of communication becomes possible. The follower sends out emotions for the girl to pick up and interpret, and the girl sends her images and ideas in turn.

The first day the girl begins to understand actual words in her mind, the follower asks her something she had been waiting many, many years to ask.

What is my name?

The girl is puzzled. "You know what your name is. You've just never told me it."

Yes. But what is my name?

The girl thinks. Considers. Mulls it over on and off for days and days. It is a good sign, the follower thinks, that she does not immediately dismiss the question. She understands that this is not something she is supposed to guess, but to remember. She understands this without ever having been told of the true significance of remembering, without ever having been taught the true nature of the world around her and her place in it. Yes, the follower thinks, It is a very good sign.

It is almost two weeks later before the girl returns with her answer.

"I don't know your name," she says, "but would it be alright if I just called you Ari?"

Ari sends the feeling of a smile, but inwardly, in her true self beyond the stars that is not this tiny projection to a child's mind, she is celebrating.

She has finally found the one to whom she owes her life.

-o-

'Cause what's inside of me
Is invisible to most,
Even in clear view.

-o-

The first day is primarily one of confusion. There were people around, but almost none of them spoke to him unless it was a cursory greeting or an order - and orders were always spoken very slowly and clearly, as if they were just as unsure of what to do with him as he was of them (a new element in their midst; where does he fit in their pitiful little hierarchy and what threat does he pose if the social order changes?) (what they don't understand is that nothing changes; stagnancy is part of the very definition of their being).

Passion leads him to a room in one of the below-ground floors. The walls are stone, and there is no door, only a number next to the doorframe.

The Sovereign catches him staring. "Hm?" he says, still sounding bored (easily driven to mental instability when bored, combined with high creativity; approach with caution, and cater to his whims whenever possible), "Oh, the number? Yeah, you were actually the first one Creation made for your job, but then she started making a bunch of different versions and put them all in rooms with numbers. You took so long to wake up, we all thought you were broken or something." Passion laughs a little. "Turns out she got it right the first time, because those other ones were way defective. Sorta like... this!"

Passion throws a sucker punch, and he reacts instantly, simultaneously sidestepping the blow and twisting Passion's arm behind his back and digging his fingers into a nerve bundle at the shoulder. Then his eyes bulge out slightly (caution, dammit, caution!) as Passion elbows him hard in the gut, harder than one would have thought possible with his slight physique, and twists out of his grip.

"See?" the Sovereign cheers, "None of the others could pull that off even after days and days of training." Passion grins broadly at him. "Patient Zero my ass. You're no zero, man, you'll fit in great here. Maybe we could play some games together, hey?"

He blinks once, then steps into the room marked with a "0", lays down on the bed, and waits until he hears retreating footsteps before closing his eyes.

The next morning, when he asks the others to refer to him as Zero, it raises a few eyebrows (who would want to be known as nothing?), but everyone complies. Most of them assume it is simply some kind of in-joke. They are half-right.

-o-

I'm sending out a signal to
The possibility of you,
'Cause right at this moment...

-o-

It has been years and years and lifetimes since the death of a friend, a very dear friend, and Ari is no longer sure what to do with herself. The war is over, though the scars on the land and the people remain. Keeping day-to-day affairs running smoothly takes up her time, but recovery is primarily a secretarial job, easily delegated to subordinates. More often than not she finds herself wondering what will come next.

Later, new intelligence comes in: the war has not ended, it has simply moved.

Many of those who are politicians by trade rather than soldiers panic. Others argue about the proper course of action. Is this evil truly their responsibility anymore? Might they be left to recover from their battle scars in peace, or is their fight not over yet? Do they have the right to give aide to a world so deep in the spiritual dark ages, or should they put forth the effort and finish what they started?

Ari does none of these things. She simply goes where she always goes for answers: home.

Eadoin meets her there, ever-willing to help. With his band of friends and their combined talents, it isn't long before they find what they're looking for.

"Domhain Dorcha," she breaths, and it's all she can do to keep the fear out of her voice. The dark world, the world the elders always spoke about in hushed, disquieted voices. The one they actually knew so little about, that was really full of such potential and light, hidden away beneath the surface. They would be easy pickings.

Easy pickings, but also firm and numerous allies, if the right messengers could be reached.

-o-

...I know you are connected to a part of me
That I don't even know myself.

-o-

His dreams are immediate and profound—

a narrow cliff jutting out over the sea against a setting sun, and planted blade-first at the tip of cliff is hoshikuzu, adrian's pendant dangling and swaying off the crossguard in the wind while the pages of the codex of index, which is leaning against the blade, flutter back and forth 

standing in darkness and his eyes widen as the darkness lashes and twines around him, threatening to drag him deeper as he struggles vainly against it, his hand reaches out in desperation and a hand reaches down, grasping his tightly and the darkness recedes

the healer leans forwards and gently blows on the sphere in her hands and it flares with light, growing larger and the librarian mimics her actions and he watches with a surprised, happy smile on his face as the two spheres grow in size and launch into the sky, dancing and spinning around one another as their combined light drives the darkness away

—and he has no idea what to make of them. So he simply watches, and takes every new piece of information like a puzzle piece and coolly analyzes them with a mind programmed to do exactly that. Zero rebuilds the idea of the person he was based on and wonders if being like him should be a goal of his.

Even after months of consideration—

a bubbling laugh that is both horrifying and joyful in all the worst ways, there has been so much, too much for memory to hold, and when he breaks, as all know he will someday, the explosion will be a truly spectacular sight to behold for as long as he lets you live to see it

—he is still not certain. And the more he sees, the less certain he is.

Then again, you could never have said Zero to be sure of anything that wasn't a total impulse. If he wants to do something, he does it, and if Runoa or Creation or practically anyone else wants him to do something, he does that too. And that strikes Zero as being altogether too similar to how Adrian functions in relation to the Powers That Be, and look where that got him. Did he never once just do something he wanted to do? (or worse, was everything exactly what he wanted, death and all?)

Zero doesn't know what he wants, but there is a curious freedom in ambivalence that he decides he likes.

-o-

The changes in me
Are likely to be like the weather:
Stormy and clear,
Strength into fear, bound together.

-o-

It is the No-thing that holds the Every-thing, the dragon teaches her. The All and the Parts, the Beginning and End, all wrapped together in a pure, shining singularity. That is the nature of the Soul.

Ari's wanderings go on for years, sometimes in the dragon's company, but most often not. Like the elders of Ari's homeland, the dragon is very set in his ways in addition to being very, very old, and he prefers not to travel very far from his cliffside cavern home. Ari is always saddened to have to part with her new friend and mentor, but each time they meet again is a new joy. (This too, is one of his lessons, as she will realize in the years to come.)

"To travel a circle is to traverse the same ground over and over," Ari intones softly, almost as though thinking aloud the experiences that led her to finally understand this lesson, like so many lessons before it (and her elders would be proud, for what else is an adolescent journey for?). "To travel a circle wisely is to traverse the same ground for the first time."

And when you realize at last that you have circled back to the starting point, the dragon prompts her, you understand...

In only a few short years, Ari has circled the globe. She has come to love this world, with all its expanses, all its variety, and always more to learn or explore or understand. Even with the chosen ones missing and a war brewing, she cannot help but feel a sense of childlike giddiness and wonder, in such contrast to the solemnity of her youth. But she is still a youth yet, she knows, and though introspection and exploration were two very different paths to wisdom, both were paths indeed. If she had wanted to, she could have learned everything she needed to without moving at all. The power, the memory, the experience was always with her. It merely needed to be brought to the surface, just as the elders always said.

Ari's eyes light up. "You understand that your only destination is where you have already been!"

The dragon smiles at her. And always were.

-o-

But I'll break my silence
If I believe that you and me
Could ever be more than just
What's been behind us.

-o-

He meets Death only once. It is a very short meeting (if bone and sinew grow continually from nothing, then nothing is what he shall be, and zero told him so), punctuated by harsh words, sucker punches, and one brief, hastily bitten off scream in the voice of the man they were both imitating. Acknowledgement, Zero thinks angrily, is what marks the difference between them. Acknowledgement of truth and lies, of grounded fact and baseless desire, and the strength of character to understand what your place in the world is. This will shape Zero's personality and outlook far more than either of them initially realize.

He meets the legendary Willowe Foxblade only twice, and the second time is because she asks to see him personally. She tells him what she knows of the man she killed (as his killer, she likely knows him better than anyone, better than even his lover), and he tells her of his dreams, a little. Before she leaves for the Real World, she warns him of the dangers of complacency, warns him with a kind of desperation in her soul (he looks like him, acts like him, and maybe it would all be worth it if she could save just one more), so he nods, and she smiles her very last smile.

A misused comment at Order quickly earns him an enemy, and Zero learns to keep interactions with Sovereigns to a minimum after that. Passion and Harmony are kind, Wisdom and Elegance seem to find him entertaining, and Creation looks upon him with a kind of prideful ownership, similarly to how a craftsman may look upon a fine table she has made. When Zero thinks about it, he understands, and does not hold it against her, but it does grind against him sometimes.

Runoa visits Zero daily, to ask him questions or for demonstrations of what he's learned that day. Eventually he points out that he has not technically "learned" a single thing since he got here; everything he knows is merely something he has remembered. Remembered from Adrian? she asks. Remembered from me, he replies, not sure why she hasn't yet picked up on something so obvious. She asks him if there is yet more to remember. He says he doesn't know, but that he would be disappointed if there wasn't.

(it is interesting, he thinks, to watch the expressions that trail across her face as they converse: surprise, disagreement, the barest flicker of tightly-controlled malice, finally smoothing over into smugness and pride—

"Excellent work, Zero. You may just be exactly what I've been looking for."

—but it is not him that she has pride in.)

-o-

I tried and left.
I came and went.
I got rejected out again.
No one believes me.

-o-

Exploration is encouraged in all Eiran children. A boy called Eadoin is her most loyal partner in these endeavors - he is curious, like her, though not so bold as to directly defy the elders' edicts. (Not by himself, anyway.)

They are at their most dangerous during those precious few moments at the waterfall, as far down the chute as they could go before they risked falling into the ocean miles and miles below. It is freezing, nothing like the ensorcelled warmth of the valleys above them, but they reach as close as they dare to touch the rushing icy water. They have both been taught that this waterfall, which plummets from the bottommost tip of the Eire into Gaeya's northern ocean, is the endless fount of wisdom for those who choose to live below, giving life to the land and giving love and wonder to the people. But the water is hard and bitingly cold, and Ari can't help but wonder what would happen to a poor soul caught directly beneath the force of all of this "wisdom".

Not long afterward, she requests to go on her adolescent journey. The elders comply to her request as is custom, and outfit her with everything she will need, that she might return home safely.

Her adventure begins, as many do, on the night of a storm.

Many days later, when she is huddled in the cave that is the home of the dragon who rescued her and listening to his story, Ari will realize with all the subtlety of a roar that nothing will ever be the same.

-o-

I've worn a hundred faces
Of the character replacements and now
Nobody sees me.

-o-

He is hiding in one of the castle's service corridors, grinning at the fact that the heretofore unmentioned service corridors actually existed and became accessible as soon as he had need of them, almost as though they had been conjured into being just for him. Being a Stu, dangerous though it is, is actually quite fun, but only as long as there is some way to give his abilities direction; he wants none of the stagnant complacency that plagues all but the most insane in Runoa's castle (runoa herself knows this to be true).

He discovers a highly convenient hole in the wall that is camouflaged by a highly convenient portrait on the other side. It is difficult to see through it, but Zero can make out Creation scribbling furiously on her sketchpad, frequently crossing things out or even tearing out entire pages. He cannot see Runoa from this position, but it's not difficult to deduce who Creation is talking to.

"Why can't I find him?!" she finally shouts, moving over to the area of the room that Zero cannot clearly see. He hears a loud thwap sound and thinks that Creation has probably thrown her sketchbook to the ground, or against a wall. "He is my drawing!" the Sovereign screams (desperate and raving, beyond even her need for approval now, because runoa cannot give her what is already gone), "My creation! I should be able to find him anywhere and do whatever I like with him! Even erase him from existence if I want! So why can't I? What's blocking me?!?"

The loud smack of a slap to the face can be clearly heard, followed by pregnant silence.

"Because he is a Gary-Stu, you nitwit," Runoa finally says. "Of course he isn't going to react normally." (runoa herself knows this to be true, programmed the urge into him—)

Creation cannot keep a small whine out of her voice. "But he's mine," she says softly, almost accusingly (but never rebelliously). "He was made with my power, and I'm supposed to be able to unmake anything that's mine if I want to. You said—"

"I gave you your powers and I know their full extent," Runoa interrupts sharply. "Believe me when I say, Sovereign, that Zero is acting exactly the way I programmed him to."

(runoa herself knows this to be true, programmed the urge into him, understands him, and knows exactly what zero is seeking when zero himself does not, and yet does not tell creation this because—)

"...Yes, Lieutenant."

Zero backs away, turns, and starts running. As far away as he can.

-o-

The changes in me
Are likely to be like the weather:
...Cloudy at best.

-o-

It is after the third time they caught her peering through keyholes and sneaking into council meetings that they bestowed upon her a name: Ari.

The word itself has no meaning, but there is a similar name, Aari, that is supposedly the name of one of the Goddess' feline companions, one rumored to have an abnormally keen interest in the affairs of mortals.

Many, many years later, when she meets her namesake for the first time, Ari will be proud of the legacy she inherited. She will understand that the elders meant it as a symbol of elevation, of acknowledgement that she was destined for greater things than they, though her true destiny would turn out to be much smaller than they imagined - a critical but nonetheless minor role in the proceedings, and perhaps that's appropriate, for what curious cat draws attention to herself as she hunts for new places to explore?

Now, though, right at this moment, to Ari's wise but nevertheless childish mind, the name feels like a gesture of rejection. You are not one of us. You are otherworldly. Take your difficult questions elsewhere, child, for we refuse to answer them.

That night, when she returns to her dwelling, Ari chooses to sleep on the roof rather than in her bed. Under the stars, she dreams of cat whiskers and dragon wings, and worlds far beyond her own.

-o-

Angels lift me.
Are you with me?
I'm holding onto you
Like I'm holding onto white balloons...

-o-

He had not thought before he left that dodging Silri would be an issue - she never once paid him any mind at the castle, and he saw no reason for that to change - but apparently it is (insanity is not a good look for her, and he does not even agree with her quest or the one who assigned it anymore—), and it is more difficult than he originally thought. Calming her down is even moreso (—but he can't help but empathize in a way nonetheless), but worth it, even if the alliance is temporary by its very definition.

Neither of them has a side to be fully loyal to, so why not?

After their little rescue operation, they part ways. She attacks him twice more in subsequent weeks. Both times Zero has to remind her that he is not, in fact, Adrian, and both times it takes him pinning her to the ground before she would open her eyes and look at the clear difference in his. The second time, she slashes at his side anyway, and as she leaps away once again, Zero decides that he'll keep the scar.

He is therefore surprised when he does not hear from Silri at all after Adrian's return. In a way, he is surprised that he is surprised, because there is no confusion now. She was the only one who couldn't tell the difference, and perhaps it's for the best—

But then another portal opens, and another familiar girl steps into view (long brunette hair billowing in the breeze, and he can see why adrian felt attraction to her once, but she never made a move, never reciprocated in that way, and adrian moved on to other things), and Zero can't help the broad grin that appears on his face.

-o-

Carry me away!
I hope that you don't break.

-o-

The first thing she sees is the people of her homeland, this misty paradise in the sky. The other children of the Rite - actually a large group this year, all born of the largest and most diversely populated Beltanne festival to date, and all therefore special in ways not yet determined - play in the green meadows dotted here and there with stone fences and wildflowers, but she sits in a treetop by herself. She can hear a few adults below her, watching her, wondering to themselves why she is so introspective at such a young age (not even twenty, barely finished being a toddler). They whisper of strange events foretold in their Telling Pools, of dark times ahead in both the Land Below and in the opposite world. The Domhain Dorcha, they called it. She listens to them, and they continue to speak as though she is not there, and she wonders how to describe the feeling of frustration that wells in her heart.

Later, she will find a good word for it: hypocrisy.

The Eire is stagnant, lifeless, frozen in time as its people become more and more convinced that they have cultivated the perfect lifestyle. The wars and petty arguments of the different nations in the land below do not interest them; they are emissaries to the gods, come straight down from the Palace of Stars itself. They are not privy to the farcical yoke that binds surface-dwellers of Gaeya and those ridiculously short-lived, short-sighted excuses for humans of Domhain Dorcha alike. They are above. They are different. They are better.

Do something! she will cry one day, tears in her eyes as she cradles an egg that will never hatch. Our ancestors came down from the stars because they wanted to live in this world, within the bounds of time, where each moment can be experienced and cherished! What is there to experience if everything is beneath you? What is there to learn if you already know all?

(Three times she will make this plea. The first time, they will give her a name. The second time, they will give her a quest. The third time, they will listen, but by then, it is almost too late.)

She will throw the egg she holds at her elders, frustrated and heartbroken, in a display of impulsivity completely unknown to the peace of the Eire. But the shell is hollow, empty inside, and will shatter in the first hand that catches it.

Now, though, right at this moment, she sits in her treetop while a particularly strong wind blows, and is grateful for the sturdiness of her perch.

-o-

I hope that you don't break...
Don't break...

-o-

Nothing changes, while Everything stays the same. It is a dichotomy that is invisible to most; only one soul in a thousand could ever understand Nothing to be a proper noun on the same level as its opposite partner. Nothing exists. Nothing has form. Nothing is exactly what it needs to be in order for Everything to continue in the way it always has.

Yes, Valerie, I know who you are.

I remember you quite well, actually, although you don't remember me. 

And maybe that's for the best.

Though I've no doubt you could remember me if you tried.

I've always followed orders, but now I'm kind of at a loss.

I spent my life wandering, but with you I found purpose.

I'm not afraid of what the future holds, because

I can handle myself, don't worry,

but what about you? What will you do in the times to come?

but Runoa is more dangerous than any of you realize. No matter how much you prepare, you're not ready.

Runoa is practice compared to what's next. I've watched you prepare, but still I fear for the future.

Runoa's promise

Monika's visions

will happen, and there's nothing any of us can do to stop it.

So no matter what happens, 

I think

I know that

I want to help you.

I don't know why, but

Our previous connection makes it so that

we understand each other.

And that's all anyone ever needs.

__________________________________________________

The connection broke. Snapped, really, and the little dragon reeled back before regaining herself and regarding Zero with a glare and a soft hiss. Zero, for his part, almost wanted to apologize. The more he thought about it, the more he realized Ari's little intrusion was probably a test of some sort, and reacting instinctively when you have such highly exaggerated abilities and resilience is almost never what you'd call safe.

He noticed her trembling slightly, as though having difficulty concentrating, and his eyes widened. "Oh shit, I'm sorry!" he exclaimed. He hoped he hadn't done any permanent damage; that would not be good for his standing with Valerie. "I've never spent much time around people who weren't, like, level 8 or better, and they all shrug off whatever anyone does like it's nothing, accidental or otherwise. Shit, are you alright?"

Ari stretched and shook herself as a dog might - for a brief moment she was a dog, actually, before returning to her preferred fire-lizard form - and regarded the Stu with a critical eye.

Zero didn't move.

It would be difficult to explain what transpired between the two on that morning, in that place where "morning" has no more meaning than the one you give it. One who was the hero of another story, the other who didn't really expect his story to go much further than it had. Neither of them were active participants in the battle against perfection, though both had rejected it in their own way. Both understood the dangers of complacency better than most. And both had found themselves, either suddenly or over a period of years and years and lifetimes, in full and unwavering support of the one girl who understood that, in order to achieve true perfection, you didn't have to change a thing.

Ari moved faster than the eye could blink, gliding past Zero's ear before vanishing. But it was not with the pop of displaced air that accompanied travel between. It was a relatively slow fade-out, visible and almost frightening if you didn't know she was vanishing from this world on purpose. The fire-lizard form, for all its versatility and astonishing parallels with her own abilities, was still nothing more than a guise, after all. Ari had places to be, things to prepare before time was up.

Zero gasped as she passed, eyes widening in astonishment as two words entered his mind, words laced with feelings of approval, understanding, and perhaps the beginnings of trust.

-o-

Don't break.