Insert Vampires Catering to Fanservice Here

Somehow between the fluid slips of time Karissa had missed the coming and going of a few important anniversaries. Adrian had been lost to the Society for over half a year; her old rival Lela had been dead for months, and she was still to be pitied; and her Author had turned nineteen in the Real World. Flowing naturally from the last event, Karissa and Charis had reached their respective birthdays not soon after. The sisters were both products of creativity not forced to be directed towards school; as well, they were born of the free time abundant in August. They had jointly celebrated their birthdays on a date exactly bisecting the week-long break that separated them in age by an extra year. Their festivities were quiet, if they could even be called such. As usual Charis had prepared a lavish dinner – notable only for the quality of the ingredients, not due to her decidedly modest culinary skills – but instead of serving only Karissa she'd also invited some of their closer friends to share the meal.

Ben and Lily contributed to the table conversation easily, and Chloe shared dry and humorous anecdotes about Jared (the LPGB were deactivated for the night, safely stowed away in their toybox). Pete dropped by to exchange pleasantries at about dessert time but he also trailed Shirley, who then entered into competition with Lily in telling embarrassing stories about Ben. Muted though their chatter might have been, everyone stayed up well past midnight continuing to talk. Charis may have been legal under Canadian law, but the rest of their company certainly had not been of age, so no alcohol had been served the last night. Therefore, Karissa was understandably confused when she woke up fuzzy the next morning.

"W-what? What is it? Charis, what do you want?" There was hardly any time for Karissa to feel alarm before she recognized the familiar presence of her older sister. For some reason, Charis was trying very hard to wake her, but she could swear that the clock on the stand clearly read 6:00. "Charis, let me go back to sleep! Whatever's the matter, surely it can wait for four more hours."

Charis was already fully dressed – had she even gone to sleep, Karissa wondered – but she visibly fought back her own yawns. It didn't seem like she herself was awake of her own accord. "Michael wants you," she explained, "So I don't think it's something that can wait, actually. Apparently there's a Sue loose in the Vampire Diaries fandom, and you're the only one who would keep watching a teenage television series about vampires, despite having escaped Twilight's clutches. You're to go after the Sue."

Karissa groaned. She hadn't had a mission for weeks...but right now what she wanted to do most was sleep. "What level?" Like it or not, her speech was getting more coherent with wakefulness. "What level is the Sue?"

Charis held up all the fingers on one hand before she noticed that Karissa's eyes had closed once more meanwhile. "Hey!" She reached down and pinched her sister's cheek, observing satisfactorily its rousing effect. "This Sue is potentially a Level 5. Is that going to be a problem for you?"

"No, no," Karissa muttered. At last she resigned herself to the fact she would be leaving her bed. "Just give me a moment to get changed, and I'll go," she said, all sighs, to make her sister leave the room. Despite her grumbling, once she'd lain feet on the floor it didn't take long after to exchange her pyjamas for the black overall set that she wore in the day. She paused twice, once to tie the ribbons of her shoes round her ankles, and then to secure the sash in which she kept Gekkou, but these small delays did for her what coffee couldn't. She closed her eyes as she dithered, imagining that for each second that went by she'd gotten one more hour of sleep, and so left her room 'refreshed'.

T_T_T_T_T_T

"How's Karissa doing with the mission?" Charis asked casually mid-morning. The Library was not like any office building in the real world, and the 'work' the Society did was so specialized that it could hardly be called that, but the equivalent of 'meeting around the water cooler' typically occurred inside the doors of the monitor room. Sometimes more entertaining missions were viewed en masse, and then the 'meetings' were more rowdy than others. Most times, like this, only a few people sat among the number of chairs present. Today Charis addressed Emotion Marcus and Thought Marcus, both whom were on-duty, and also Akai who might have been there because she was bored.

"WHAT MISSION?" Emotion Marcus replied to her, loudly.

Charis looked a little put off. "Er, Karissa left for The Vampire Diaries at 6:00, and it's now 9:00. Is she having some trouble Prohibiting the Sue, or what?"

Thought Marcus peered acutely at the screen closest to him. "As a matter of fact, I'd almost forgotten about your sister. It's true that she entered the fandom around six in the morning, but there hasn't been any change in activity there for quite a while. Maybe she hasn't found the Sue yet?"

Charis was sceptical. "I would have said that, if anything, Karissa's a little too unhealthily obsessed with the show. Surely to her the Sue would stand out like a nail."

"The nail that stands out gets hammered down," Akai interjected evenly before downing a small handful of Altoids.

"Ri-ight." Charis' expression creased into a frown. "I really hope nothing happened to her. Maybe she tried to take the Sue down with a little too much aggression, and she ended up getting hurt instead. Maybe the Sue killed her – if the Sue was a vampire! Oh god, my baby sister killed at age 17!"

"Calm down! If a character died in the fandom then the computers definitely would have registered a shock. You and your sister are characters, right? 'But there hasn't been any change in activity there for quite a while.'" Akai spoke again, and even as the Library rocked to the sway of the Fourth Wall, Charis saw the logic in her words.

"If you're so worried about Karissa, go in after her. Two Agents are better than one. And it's not like you can go back to your lab anytime today, anyways." Akai sucked on another mint reflectively.

"Why ever not?"

"Well, I saw the LPGB sneak in there earlier with what looked like miniature sticks of dynamite. Either they mean harmful intent towards you, or else they're just using your lab as a shortcut to smuggle weapons past Shirley; in any case, I don't think you want to go downstairs for the time being. Go ahead and check up on your sister – and take an Altoid for your trip, why don't you?"

Charis hesitated one second more, shrugged, and then decided to hell with it, why not. She would take the original suggestion offered to her – she would pay a visit to the vampire-based fandom too – but as for the latter proposal she was still a little too wary of the possessor the jun-akuma to take 'candy from a stranger'. "Thanks, but no thanks, Akai. I'll see you later."

She pulled a Plothole Generator from its loop on her skirt's belt and made to go.

T_T_T_T_T_T

She wasn't dead. She wasn't hurt. She didn't even seem to be uncomfortable – when Charis literally tripped over her sister, she was lounging on a grassy knoll outside Mystic Fall's only high school, eating from a bowl of popcorn to boot. "Karissa, what are you doing, and where's the Sue?"

Karissa waved a hand vaguely in the direction of the parking lot. "Shush, Maria's parking her car."

"Excuse me?"

"That's her car – the black Venturi Fetish." Karissa didn't know many cars, but she was adept at singling out those she liked. She'd hung a small poster above her bed back in her Library room, so Charis knew exactly which vehicle she referred to. The Fetish performed a neat back-in parking job and the engine had been silent for barely a second before its occupant made a move to come out.

Maria revealed herself to be a tall and dark beauty crowned innocuously with a full head of ash blonde. Her hair was piled ridiculously on top of itself to resemble a style that normally only a Japanese hime might have worn without drawing comment. Part-beehive and part-waterfall of pale greyish tresses, the hair was the first thing that anybody noticed. Although Charis cast a critical eye over the rest of her body everything ultimately led to a comparison with the girl's hair.

Her long brown and tanned legs seemed too skinny to support such an overladen head; the same was true of her thin and slender neck. Her hands were tipped with long flawlessly painted nails, but even that added length left her arms a full foot shorter than where the bottom of her hair curled out from her back. "Enough. Don't make me look at her anymore," Charis moaned quietly. But she hadn't yet observed the quaintly sewn sundress Maria wore, nor the impractical cork platform heels on her feet, not to mention all her sparkling jewellery...

Charis' eyes gratefully alighted on the next person to emerge from the car – main character Stefan Salvatore – that is, until he walked promptly up to Maria and kissed her. Charis' jaw dropped. She tensed for an outraged fangirlish reaction from beside her but none came. Karissa kept a neutral expression as she took some more popcorn for herself, and it seemed like she was still watching for something more.

Another sleek black sports car pulled into the parking lot at that point. The sudden sharpness of Karissa's gaze alerted Charis that these newcomers were important people, and they were. Other main characters Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert staggered out already locked in a passionate embrace. This was madness. Charis waited again for an explosion of epic proportions. None came. "What is wrong with you?" she finally burst out instead.

"Who, me?"

"Yes, you. First you started off by addressing the Sue casually by first name, as if she was your friend. Now you're not batting an eyelid at the distortion of one of the canon's most central pairings. Did you take a bad knock to your head? Can you possibly be seeing right?"

"I can see perfectly fine," Karissa retorted smartly. "And it's not hard to memorize Maria's name – I have perfect recall for this storyline, that's all."

"That completely wasn't the answer I was looking for. May I remind you that Maria – the Sue – is not intended to be part of this series?"

Karissa blinked quickly, once; twice. "Back up again. She's not?"

"Of course she's not!"

"Oh...right. Now I remember." Karissa appeared to deflate as all her built-up enthusiasm escaped into the air. Abruptly she clapped her hands together, wearing a look of contrition. "I'm sorry! I got so caught up in events – and I've always felt sorry for Damon anyways – so I suppose I let my imagination get away from me. I mean, without me stepping in to take action, it's almost like I had a three hour-long, personally-scripted episode being presented just for me, hot Delena scenes included! The temptation to stay idle was just too great."

Charis couldn't deny that the evidence presented by the presence of the popcorn painted her sister in a bad light. "Karissa, how could you be so stupid? Acting content to let Maria go simply because you've been enjoying the show she's put on for you? In our profession we have to treat these characters as if they were as real as you or me. Even if she's only doing it so that Damon and Elena can get together, Maria is bending Stefan's will in order for him to love her. We betray Stefan if we don't do our best to put things back as they should be."

Karissa managed to look even guiltier than before, as if that were possible.

"I think you and I are going to have a little talk with Maria Sweet Sophe V." Charis grinned. "At least I did my homework before barging in here – I looked into both this series and the Sue. I think I can actually offer you some assistance with any vampires now."

T_T_T_T_T_T

Maria was in the act of exchanging her Chemistry book for her Literature text – shoving the first, hated tome into the back of her locker with a savage push – when she became aware of another body's presence behind her. "Hello Stefan," she said, turning round to greet him with an indulgent smile. "Have you come to walk me to class?" One of her long blonde curls tickled his arms as she pulled him closer.

"Mari-" He started to say her name but broke off to give her a long kiss instead. "Mm, Maria, I missed you last night," he murmured against her lips. Blackish veins swept from the corners of his eyes as lust, rather than thirst, consumed him. When their embrace continued Stefan made an attempt to pull his vampiric features back – there were humans everywhere in this school, and who knew if anyone could see – but each time Maria that renewed their kiss he lost a little more control.

"Ahem."

With supernatural speed both vampires whipped around, all traces of their true natures hidden, and displays of bright teeth crossing their faces. Maria's expression slipped a fraction. "Oh, it's only Damon. And Elena! How are you?" She stepped forward to give the only human in their midst a hug, drawing their little group closer yet to her open locker.

"Maria. Brother." Damon drawled amusedly at the lipstick stain sitting crookedly over Stefan's lips. "Keeping busy as ever, I see." His easy smirk hid a hard edge. "I don't suppose you had any time to research Katherine last evening. Were you too preoccupied? I suppose there's no hurry. Elena only wants to know why she looks to be the spitting image of her undead ancestor, but I do understand that takes backseat compared to love your love life. He's been single for a long time." Damon's sarcasm was biting. Equally as strong was Elena's sharp jab to his ribs, halting her boyfriend's surprisingly affectionate teasing of his brother (surprising because you wouldn't know it was affectionate, am I right?)

"You'd be surprised at how much we got done in truth," Maria said slyly. "For example, Elena, Stefan and I were talking, and we thought you might ask Alaric to take you through Isobel's things left at Duke."

"That's a really good idea," Elena said seriously. "I'll get in contact with Ric after school."

"Was that all you came to say, Damon? Were you just checking up on your little brother and his girlfriend?" Maria sang.

"No, that wasn't all, actually." Damon lowered his voice conspiratorially. "There was this Asian chick at the Administration Office who was asking after you. Except she added a few extra surnames to your own, and-"

"Maria Sweet?" This time all eyes spun around to regard, yes, Karissa. She stood in the hallway by herself, achingly obvious although she'd taken off her red sash and thrown it around her neck like a scarf in an attempt to appear less outlandish. Her uneven bangs fell across her face as she tilted her head, articulating clearly, "Maria Sweet Sophe V, isn't it? It is you. I'm a big fan."

Maria didn't sense any harmful intent coming from the human girl. She sauntered forward, hair swaying in time to her steps, to take her right hand. "I don't think I know your name, even though Mystic Falls is such a small town. That's terribly awkward for me. How do you know me, and what do you mean by calling yourself my fan?" She aimed to smile winsomely.

"How could I not know of you? Maria Sweet, cheerleader, most popular girl in the school, girlfriend of Stefan Salvatore; a Mary-Sue."

Maria froze. That's right, Damon had mentioned this girl knew her full name; she had addressed her by her full name too, how had she missed that both times? "You're an Agent of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society, aren't you?" she hissed from between clenched teeth.

"Correct. I won't ask how you know us. I've gotten used to exactly how far gossip travels among your kind."

"Stefan, back down," Maria ordered, catching the slightest movement in her peripheral vision. They couldn't kill the Agent – the hall was still far too full of students, curious nosy humans of which the entirety they'd never be able to catch and compel. She still held the Agent's hand – with a show of dominant force she dragged her further away from the main trio. Strangely the girl didn't resist. "Now surely we can be reasonable," she said lowly. "I haven't killed anyone – not even maimed one townsperson – and as for relationships, I've only pushed these two in a direction they're meant to go. The show's writers can't keep Damon and Elena apart forever. I've just shown them some... shortcuts."

"For that I was terribly grateful, for three blissful hours this morning," Karissa said sincerely. "But this cannot go on. It's not natural for you to be manipulating the characters' feelings this way, and sooner or later there will be a backlash. The next time that Katherine comes back to your little AU fantasy land, I might return to find Damon dead. Or Elena dead. I don't even know what's going to happen next week in the real world show, so what makes you think that through your perfect control you'll be able to stop events from spiralling out of control in here?"

Maria twitched at the P-word. "I would try my very best to keep everyone alive," she said evenly. "If Katherine dared show her face one more time in my town she'd be sorry."

"You speak like someone I might be interested in befriending," Karissa congratulated her. "But the fact remains that I have to take you out of this fandom now. Come quietly and I might let you put on a Permanent Prohibitor and face probation."

"Ha!" Maria let a laugh loose through her parted lips. "You're all talk! I hate to ruin the civility of the conversation we've been having, but how would you enforce my arrest? You don't look like you can back up your words with action!" Beneath her grip the Agent's arm flexed. "I've got you restrained, all by myself, with barely an effort," she laughed. The next thing she knew a strong chain had lashed around her wrist and forced her hand away from the Agent's. The girl held some type of Japanese chain weapon in her left hand.

Karissa raised her chin contemptuously. "Did you think I was useless with my left hand? I'm ambidextrous!" She leaned in closer to the Sue. "Last chance. You can surrender and we will waltz out the nearest fire exit. I won't have to bring out my other motivator." While she spoke Karissa carefully pulled an inch or two of Gekkou's chain back through her fingers so that it wouldn't be noticeable to the three wary stares still directed hotly at her.

Maria pulled a haughtier look than hers. "You're bluffing."

"Charis."

All at once Damon and Stefan Salvatore crumpled to the ground. There were two distinct screams from elsewhere in the building – Caroline Forbes and Taylor Lockwood, Karissa guessed. Maria was also bending in agony within her hold. Charis appeared at her sister's shoulder and in her palm she cupped a carbon copy of the old Gilbert anti-vampire device (it might be considered an anti-werewolf device, too). It looked just as any viewer should remember except it was much too shiny. "I surpassed my own expectations," Charis chirped happily. "I duplicated the Gilbert device in only a quarter of an hour."

"You can really make anything you put your mind to," Karissa marvelled. "If you put that on the ground, there, could you help me with this incapacitated Sue?"

"Gladly."

The sisters stepped through Charis' Plothole in unison, carrying the slumped Sue between them like a towheaded sack of potatoes.

T_T_T_T_T_T

Karissa was afraid that her success on the Vampire Diaries mission set a bad precedent.

Two weeks later she was sprawled in one of the common room's more comfortable chairs, talking to Lily, when Michael hurried up to her.

"Karissa, I'm going to require you to assume another mission."

Karissa waited a beat before asking, "Let me guess? The mission is set in a fandom of my 'particular expertise'".

"Yes, those are more or less the words I was going to use."

"That means it's a vampire fandom."

"Yes." Michael didn't know what to make of her reaction. Karissa didn't seem overtly hostile, but she wasn't anywhere close to greeting his news with joy either.

"What fandom?" Against her better judgement Karissa began to rise from her seat, tacitly signalling that she would accept the request. "What fandom is it?"

"An American supernatural crime/drama television series called The Gates."

She nodded. "I've heard of it. Its vampire mythology is not as original as The Vampire Diaries. Let me grab my wooden stake." An idea suddenly formed in her mind. One of the reasons these vampire missions had become so boring was the fact that no one else readily volunteered accompany her. However-

Karissa turned to Lily. "Could you drag Ben and Shirley out from band practice for five quick minutes? I need a favour from all of you, and I promise I won't take up too much of your time."

Lily didn't know what to think of the strange way she was asking for help – they were friends, weren't they? – but she headed towards the third music room anyways.

Karissa beamed at her retreating back. She and Lily were friends. In her opinion Ben hadn't been spending nearly enough time with his girlfriend recently, so she was going to make time for them. Even five minutes would be enough – if that specified time didn't end up stretching out for longer. They could all find a nice green spot on a hill where they could recline; she'd supply the popcorn. And Shirley – the best, living, running, lethal wooden stake – well, she could deal with the Sue in any way she wanted.

Insert Inconclusive Science Experiment Here

Note: Jared returns from his vacation at some point before this chapter, off-screen.



Sometimes, when an author attains popular status his or her earlier works become next-to-forgotten. This is uncommon enough in the realm of prose fiction; however, it's a bit more of a usual occurrence when applied to mangaka. Bisco Hatori is one example. She is well-known for her ongoing work, Ouran High School Host Club, but she had stopped working on the series Millennium Snow in order to continue with what was her breakout hit. Also, Katsura Hoshino is relatively famous for being the artist of DGray-man. Actually, DGray-man was derived from previous oneshots called Zone and Continue. This Author isn't saying that she doesn't understand the reasoning behind these happenings, but the fact of the matter is that relatively small pocket fandoms are created as a result, and even the Library's computers find it hard to reach to the corners of every fandom like this. In cases where a Sue might pop up, it is the prerogative of the author responsible to personally report any Sueish activity to the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society.

In one such fandom, Lela Persim Spica Clover Ginger Sarah Minnie Kai-Lee had recently made a reappearance. She didn't immediately set about any noticeable agenda, so the negligible number of authors who actually wrote for the fandom had ignored her presence altogether. Only one individual was made aware of Lela as soon as she set foot on fandom soil, and she was the person that Lela would have hidden from the most. Unfortunately – for which party? – Lela could not break her bond with the Author Cay. A week after her arrival, Lela was joined by her companion Viva Fontaine Sirius Heather Shevon Cello Miriam Skerry. By that point, Cay had still not decided what to do about the situation. Lela didn't seem to be causing any trouble yet, but Cay kept tabs on all her characters, and she'd heard that the Society had been going through some hard times. The Librarian had died. The capture of an outstanding Sue might raise the morale of Karissa and Charis, a little, and if she worked it right she could possibly ensure a happy ending for all three of her creations.

On a particular Wednesday afternoon she set to typing in a Word document...

T_T_T_T_T_T

"What do you want to do?" The question hung awkwardly in the air rather like a baited trap – no one wanted to touch it – but unless Karissa, Charis or Lily could answer it, they were going to continue wandering aimlessly in this generic shopping mall for a very long time indeed.

The third Sunday of each month was traditionally supposed to be the Society's "Ladies Night Out". Normally nothing short of a full-scale Sue invasion could prevent this evening from happening, but in fact, the Society had just faced down a full-scale Sue invasion. Willowe had finally been defeated, but Adrian had died in the relevant battle as well. That meant that no one had been in the mood to point out the date on the calendar this month; or if anyone had felt like having some fun might be beneficial, they didn't think it was respectful to admit to it. Karissa and Charis should have been in one of these two groups. Their Author had certainly imbued a sense of tact into them, along with other things, when she'd written her characters to life. But in any case, it was Charis who had suggested going ahead with the ladies' night, if only on a smaller scale. She claimed to have her reasons.

Mostly, Charis found it hard to keep mourning when the catalyst of everyone's grief was but a haze in her mind. The events of what was dubbed "Red Skies Twilight" were completely lost to her memory and thus the news of Adrian's death following seemed unreal. Karissa had displayed less dispassion to the chaos that reigned in the Library once they'd been dumped back into the storyline by Cay; however, over time her sympathy had shifted solely onto their leader, Tash. A few days ago Tash Marquand had left the Society "for a well-needed break", as it was being spread around. No one doubted that the British Agent needed space to recuperate from her lover's death, but Karissa fretted all the same that the leader's departure was symbolic of something else. When Karissa got overly emotional her invisibility inherited reign to do as it pleased. Charis had misplaced her sister a dozen times yesterday when stress quite simply caused her to disappear from view, and then deciding enough was enough, she had roped Lily into accompanying them on an outing today to "blow off some steam".

It had been easy enough to get everyone out of the Library, once Karissa regained her visible form. It had been peanuts to open a plothole into Greendale Mall, courtesy of the Sabrina the Teenage Witch fandom. The only thing Charis had forgotten was how hard it was to coordinate peoples' interests in order to make any decision whatsoever about their plans. Should they get something to eat (not hungry), should they watch a movie (not in the mood), which way should they walk (I don't know, my feet were headed in this direction). Deciding to "be spontaneous" and wait for something to occur to them was contradictory to the very essence of spontaneity. Eventually they were window shopping because it was a "safe" pastime, and they were capable of staring into the displays without mustering much enthusiasm.

Although Karissa and Charis both liked Lily – and they hoped the regard was mutual – at first the atmosphere was so tense that Charis was ready to admit defeat and open a plothole back "home". She turned back from her position ahead of the other two, to say as much. But she saw that Karissa and Lily had already stopped outside a store a few paces back. Lily was eyeing a bedecked mannequin thoughtfully, and as if sharing the same thought Karissa said, "Wouldn't that top look good in an entirely different outfit...as part of your outfit?" Lily made a noncommittal noise, but it was true that she'd been wearing the same clothes ever since she'd joined the Society. There was nothing wrong with her dress, but the all-green theme that she'd maintained mostly by force of habit reminded her vividly of her past as a Sue. There wasn't any harm in going in to enquire about what the mannequin wore... Oddly enough, once they had transitioned from window shopping to actual shopping, the three girls were able to begin enjoying themselves.

T_T_T_T_T_T

They returned to the Library with collectively higher spirits. In the end, Lily had not bought just the top from the display, but she had replaced her entire wardrobe as well. She wore a slender-fitting long-sleeved dress shirt in a neutral colour that ranged between white and grey. It was the kind commonly advertised as "Her Boyfriend's Shirt". Lily had blushed at the name, and protested the flared sleeves that fell down over her hands, covering her Pin-studded bracelets. "They're only improvised, sure. I could do better than a couple of hair bands but, still, I'd like it if they showed," she said.

"But you can still see them. Notice how every movement you make causes the sleeves to shift, so that your bracelets are alternately revealed and concealed? It would be better if your method of attack isn't so visible so that you can catch your opponent off guard. Remember how Doug reacted the first time he fought against you and your Pins? Same idea." With some clever words Karissa managed to mollify the embarrassed Agent. Lily really did look nice, and she'd helped her pick out a white skirt – short, but not a miniskirt by Michael's standards – which was paired with a pair of clean white canvas sneakers tied by long black laces onto her feet. Lily's growing green hair hovered a few centimetres above shoulders now clothed in white-grey linen. Her hair colour would still set her apart from most, Aster being one exception, but against a background of pale hues her signature shade of emerald green didn't look too startling.

After saying goodbye to Lily – who was most likely headed to Ben's room next – the two girls left behind took a turn to lead them to one of the Library's common areas. Being a library, despite all of the other extraordinary qualities it possessed, you might have expected the inside of the Library Arcanium to be a bit quieter. However, this was the Society after all, and a group of Agents seemed to be in the process of trying to conduct some sort of... event. Karissa couldn't immediately figure out what Tyler, Drake and Michael were trying to do, and Charis didn't even bother trying to evaluate the situation any deeper than its face value. Superficially it appeared that the three male agents were chasing after a paper airplane, and that was all.

Still, Karissa frowned. "I didn't think paper airplanes could move like that." The paper craft was climbing higher and higher, exhibiting sharp rolls and swerves to escape the reaching fingers of any who came close. Tyler had pulled out his staff to try and knock the thing down, but all of a sudden the plane shot to an altitude of at least fifteen feet. Tyler waved his arms a little ridiculously before deciding that his effort was better spent elsewhere, and he pulled out a cookie to eat, which he had probably stolen earlier. Metaphorically, he passed the torch on to Jared for his turn to attempt catching the rogue aircraft. For his part, it didn't look like Jared was doing much. He was fiddling with a considerably undersized walkie-talkie.

"Bring out the helicopters... I repeat, bring out the helicopters."

"Charis, duck!"

By the time Karissa had realized who exactly Jared was communicating to, four LPGB Cobra helicopters proceeded to burst out of the nearest air vent. The miniature menace known to her as General Idea helmed the helicopter in the lead. "Men, I want that vessel grounded!" The LPGB flew literal circles around the paper plane, but for three minutes or more it continued to fly figurative circles around the LPGB. Evasive manoeuvres brought the plane up ahead of the helicopters tailing it, and then the paper plane performed a loop-the-loop that the toy helicopters were simply unable to reproduce. "At this rate we'll run out of fuel before we can catch that blasted thing. You, soldier, can't you pilot our vehicle any faster?" A harassed-looking Private Property furiously shook his head no.

"This isn't going anywhere soon." As a bystander, Charis was allowed to say these things.

In the middle of the action, Michael looked as if he'd come to the same conclusion. "Jared, can they bring that thing down or not? This is taking too– ah!"

Michael broke off in mid-speech as a distortion in the air above them was revealed to be Cristoph. The ninja was crouched on top of one of the Library's massive – and newly restored – bookshelves. In a single leap, he jumped to the top of another shelf. Methodically, he came closer and closer to where the LPGB still harried the enchanted airplane. Just as the helicopters herded the paper plane his way at last, Cristoph snatched it from the air with an incredible speed. With ease, he then dropped to the floor of the Library, landing with barely a sound. "Here you are, Lord Michael." He presented the plane.

"Thank you Cristoph," Michael replied, effectively ending the whole affair. As Tyler and Jared stole off in the background, Cristoph vanished, and the Society Leader alone gave the object in his grasp a cursory glance. Despite a thorough study, its exterior yielded no clues to its origin, so he unfolded the design. Somehow he was able to tell that the charm fled the paper at that moment, leaving an absolutely normal note behind. He read the writing that had been enclosed on the plane's insides, and then surprisingly he turned to Karissa and Charis. They hadn't been sure he'd noticed them standing to the side. "I think this is for you two," he said.

"Really?" Karissa took the sheet of paper curiously. Written in precisely neat print was one sentence and no more: There are two Sues together in クリムゾン シェル. "That translates to Crimson Shell, doesn't it? That's one of the manga Cay introduced me to."

"If there are Sues there, our computers haven't picked anything up," Michael remarked mildly. "Yet that paper plane was obviously the work of someone knowledgeable. Is your Author trying to tell us something?"

"It's not her writing," she said shortly in return. Charis took the paper from her sister's hands and confirmed the fact. "However, the description of two Sues in close company can only fit Lela – and Viva. We'll go and check things out."

Michael watched them with an odd look on his face. "Some other Agents are out on missions today too. We won't be able to watch all of you on the monitors at the same time, so don't hesitate to use your Communicators if you run into trouble."

"Of course," would have been an appropriate response if Karissa hadn't already dragged Charis away and down the stairs to the Science corridor.

T_T_T_T_T_T

Crimson Shell, being a one-volume story in all its entirety, was somewhat mysterious. The mansion where events took place was somewhere in southwest Britain, but that's as much as anyone knew in regards to the manga's setting. In this world, a mad scientist – genius first, mad later – bred a flower whose seeds he implanted in human beings. The majority of the children of the Premier Rose grew to be Black Roses, and the hosts of the Black Roses seemed to retain their humanity for the most part. However, in order to survive they had to let their roses feed on other people for nourishment; as well, when they had aged to a certain extent they would succumb to a disease called the "black spot" and die.

The organization that had originally researched the Black Roses to use them as possible weapons quickly turned against their subjects, becoming Red Rose in order to capture the dangerous experiments. One reason Red Rose so suddenly persecuted the Roses was because the Roses' creator disappeared without a trace; without his presence Red Rose was afraid they couldn't control the Roses. Another reason was that a Crimson Rose was discovered. The Crimson Rose did not need to feed on humans, and in contrast to the short-lived Black Roses it was rumoured that her Premier Seed granted eternal youth and immortality. Red Rose acquired the Crimson Rose and her Thorn, surrounded her with a group of guards called Crimson Shell, and then set about their extermination of the Black Roses. Most often, Red Rose dealt with the Roses' Victims – hapless people who had been infected with the poison of a Black Rose until it drove them insane – but the manga's primary antagonist was a Jet Rose, a host that had been particularly compatible with his Seed.

Claudia, the Rose Witch, was the name of the Crimson Rose. Shion Liddell was the name of the young Jet Rose who should have been killed. Should have was the objective word today, as Karissa and Charis wandered the halls of Red Rose's headquarters questioning canon characters. "Sub-leader Xeno and Shion Liddell's bodies were never found when we dug up the Second Laboratory," a faceless subordinate repeated to them. "Usually when the roses have finished feeding on someone's life, at least the corpse is left behind. In the case of Xion-sama and Shion-kun we uncovered no trace of them after unearthing all the rubble. We can only hope they're not still out there."

Karissa scowled as she and Charis walked away from the man. "I can't make heads or tails of everyone's answers. In the manga they hadn't found Xeno or Shion's bodies either, but I can't shake the suspicion that it's wrong! My instincts are telling me that despite this fandom's vague open ending, Shion Liddell is not dead, and that's something to do with Lela's interference. Do you think that Lela's back to her old seduction routine? Shion can't be more than 12 years old. He's exactly her type."

"If he's alive then what would explain the general inactivity reported of the Black Roses? Surely Shion would want revenge against Claudia. He learned his lesson in the end, but to avenge the death of Victoria I believe he'd try to attack Red Rose again. Even if he decided to let her death slide, Shion's never had complete control over every Black Rose. There should still be some erratic attacks and Victim casualties." Charis didn't know everything about Crimson Shell so she carried a copy of volume one, flipping through pages to find proof for her arguments.

"Hmmmm," Karissa didn't sound totally convinced about either of their theories. She'd been hoping Charis would just categorically agree with her.

"Excuse me." A hooded girl? boy? stood in their path. "Who [are] you? I've heard you're [asking] around about the Black Roses [and] the Jet Rose. Where do you sit [within] our organization?" Les was an androgynous child that Karissa vaguely remembered from the manga. He/she mumbled, so that explained the smattering of words that she heard missing from his/her questions.

"Ah, you're Les-chan. I'm Karissa, and this is Charis. We're new members of Crimson Shell, assigned here since... you've lost some of your members." Karissa fibbed, and fibbed well, but she couldn't help stumbling over the end of her sentence because she was reminded abruptly of the loss of Adrian.

After Shion, Les wasn't predisposed to trust any new members ever again, but he/she couldn't deny the logic in the girl's words. She was wearing organization uniform too, and her sister wore her identifying pin in the proper place up on her necktie. "You believe [that] the Black Roses remain active then? I heard [gossip] that there's been a change in [their] leadership. Nobody will believe me."

Karissa gasped. "I knew it! Lela's taken up with Shion, and she's trying her hand at being a Villain Sue for once!"

"You speak of the [Jet] Rose again. Are you really [part] of Crimson Shell?" Les' eyes took on a defensive slant, and his/her left hand reached for the pistol on his/her thigh.

"Sleep, Les." Before he/she could draw her gun, Charis placed a handkerchief smelling of chloroform in front of the boy/girl's face. Expertly, she held her hand in place until she felt Les go slack, and then she lowered the unconscious body to the ground. "So it looks like we have to get into the Black Rose headquarters. Where is it?"

"Crap, I don't know."

T_T_T_T_T_T

Thank goodness that Charis had brought a copy of the manga with her. As improbable as it sounds, what finally brought the sisters to the headquarters of the Black Roses were depictions of the interior of the building from no more than two panels in the whole volume. They spent a long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long time searching for rooms that matched the illustrations, but time flowed differently here, as evidenced by the fact that the series spanned only five days anyhow. Exhausted – and more than a little irritated – Karissa nonetheless favoured barging right in to the lair of the Roses.

"At least let's take a breather first," Charis scolded, mothering her sister. "Here's some water, and some rolls I snatched from the kitchen before we left the Library." She took a long drink, herself, and when she'd emptied her water bottle she wouldn't have minded having some more liquid inside. Their exploration had left her seriously dehydrated.

"Now, let's go," Karissa said impatiently. "Who knows that Lela could be plotting in there? She's never had a turn at being evil before, but she has a more than adequate role model in Viva. Ugh, she could be corrupting Shion in more than one sense, too."

"Gross! You have a dirty mind." For all her eagerness, Charis managed to overtake Karissa as a giggling fit seized her. Once they'd entered the building, still in the lead, Charis noted distractedly, "The layout of this place is a bit similar to the Library, don't you think?" Following that reasoning, she let her feet run on autopilot, on a course that would have taken them back to the common room they'd left hours before (if they were in the Library). There was a common room pretty much where she'd expected it to be and, on a couch covered in the flickering shadows of firelight, the unmistakable side profile of Lela could be seen leaning forward to blot out Shion's smaller face with a kiss...

"Cease and desist, Lela! You're not molesting any more little boys on my watch!"

Immediately, Lela's gaze snapped up and locked onto Karissa's but – being a Sue – she avoided the deer-in-headlights look. The expression on her face was hard to describe. All the other times she'd encountered Lela, upon confrontation, Karissa had seen her face twist into indignant fury, boredom, mischievous delight, or a brand of taunting cruelty. Here, she didn't seem that surprised to see them, but there was a trace of unexpected fear in her eyes. Lela wasn't scared to see Karissa per se, but for the first time she looked as if she were afraid of what Karissa would take away from her. Karissa had once theorized that, until she was forced from the Kuroshitsuji fandom, Lela hadn't known that the relationships she twisted weren't real; she'd treated her men like playthings, for sure, but she'd thought they were nevertheless devoted to her. After Kuroshitsuji, she'd known better, and to retaliate at Karissa she'd sprung a trap for them in the Midnighters fandom. Right now, though, Lela looked at Karissa like she was going to destroy something she'd really worked hard for. That was impossible.

Lela urgently placed a finger to her lips in the universal sign for "quiet". Seeing no reaction from either Karissa or Charis, she then slowly edged forward and placed a kiss on Shion's forehead – he was sleeping, Karissa realized. "That was all I was going to do, honestly. What Shion and I have isn't lustful; we're more like brother and sister."

Karissa laughed to hide her misgivings. "Sure. Like I haven't heard that before. You already tried to be a sister to Ciel Phantomhive, and that didn't work out."

"It's not the same this time," Lela insisted softly. "I haven't used my Sue powers to mess with Shion at all. I haven't used my powers since I came into this fandom, except to save Shion from the collapsing laboratory! And... Shion and I became friends after I saved his life. We've been teaching each other how to curb our destructive tendencies. He doesn't want to kill anymore, and I–" Lela glanced away. "I don't want to be a Sue any longer," she whispered.

You couldn't have floored Karissa more effectively if you'd socked her in the gut and, likewise, Charis looked like someone had torn her laptop from her arms and smashed it upon the ground into a million little pieces. Karissa's jaw gaped like a goldfish, helpless while trying to create words, and then she asked, "If you're that serious about reform, why not simply come back with us to the Society? We'd permanently prohibit you, that's all, but you'd be free to stick around after."

Lela scoffed, like other Sues had done before her. "Don't kid. If I entered the custody of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society, I'd be signing my own death warrant."

"No," Karissa replied forcefully. "Palm Tree Foxblade is in the care of the Society right now, and she's thriving. She's learning how to be a normal little girl. Bella Francine Carolyn Michelle Tracy Hannah Anna Paula Jenny Darline Karen Ginger Aubrey the Fourth is now a member of the Society, and she's living happily! She's in love with our Agent Ben! Surrendering to the Society isn't the worst you can do. And if you want to be left alone, it's the smartest thing to do. Once you've retired from the public, Charis and I won't have to chase you around anymore. And if you choose to stay inside the Library at all times, I can guarantee Cay almost never visits." Karissa's voice transitioned from passion to a resentful bitterness at the last.

Lela looked shocked. "Karissa – that rush of emotion across my empathy – you feel the same way that I do, don't you?" When she wouldn't answer, Lela tried to reach out to the feelings she'd felt; ones that had resonated just like her own. "Cay never acknowledged me after the first few days that she started my story. It was hard being forgotten, so I tried to be independent by my own choice. I made myself a little bit of a Sue, at the beginning. In the time that passed, sometimes her attention would drift back, but every time she left it was even harder to cope. I disowned her so that she couldn't come back to me. I embraced being a Sue, and as I levelled up she never even noticed. I thought that meant she never cared."

Karissa looked sullen at being found out, but she couldn't disagree with Lela's heartfelt words. "Yes, I've been through that. I didn't get as far as you did, because Sueishness disagreed with me, but all the rest is close enough to the truth."

Agent and Sue shared a moment. Charis sensed that she shouldn't intrude, but she couldn't help wondering how two relatives by the same Author could be so different from her. Their problem was that they thought solely with their hearts; their brains didn't have much say in the matter. They let Cay wound them so much...

The corners of Lela's lips twitched, and she smiled uncertainly. "Is this my final answer? I suppose I can accept conditional detention." Compared to her whispers earlier, Lela's volume had reached room-level by this time. Perhaps attracted by her voice, a black cat entered the room, twining around Karissa's ankles.

"That's great, Lela," Karissa smiled gently in return. She didn't comprehend why Lela's features had turned back to fear, or why the brunt of her terrified stare fell on the domesticated feline making its way across the carpeted floor. "Is that your pet? I thought you were allergic to dander."

The animal hissed at them. Barings its fangs, its mouth became a wide black hole, and Viva Skerry's voice emitted from it. "I was sworn to protect you from the Society until the day you died, Mistress. I'm afraid I must assume that you no longer need that protection. This contract is broken." Viva performed the same trick she'd pulled in the Midnighters fandom – Karissa cursed, recognizing the danger now - and the demon's form became disparate from the cat. Before Karissa could blink, Viva fell upon Lela, and all that could be heard was a high shriek before silence resumed.

Karissa stared in horror at the bloody hole Viva had rent in Lela's abdomen. A silvery fume rose up from the Sue's chest, and Viva's teeth closed on it with relish. Charis turned green. "It's regretful that I had no time for a clean meal, but that would have taken too much time with you Agents here," Viva grinned wickedly. She stood. She still mirrored Lela in some aspects of her shape, but the demon was meaner now. The bones in her face stood out more starkly in a lean face, and her crimson irises were otherworldly. "Who wants to play next? The self-pitying sensitive? Or the repressed-emotional techie?" But it was neither of them that screamed and attacked Viva – it was Shion.

He whipped out an arm, and the vines of his roses burst through the surface of his skin, arcing through the air towards Lela. A thorny strand wrapped taut around her wrist, pulling her forward some distance – but that was only until she recovered from her surprise. With a full-fledged smirk she dug her feet in, and then it was Shion that was thrown off balance. "How dare you hurt my friend!" Shion raged, using his roses to propel himself upright. His voice caught in his throat. "–to Lela!" He threw himself at her, roses in frenzy about him, but just as the first thorns cut a swathe down her cheek, Shion came to an unnatural stop. He shuddered and looked down to find Viva's clawed hand firmly through his stomach. With a gurgle, he clutched the bloodstained area and crumpled. His weight pulled him off Viva's arm and to the floor, another body on the floor.

"That was barely worth the effort," Viva said viciously, as if Shion's life hadn't been worth the taking. But Karissa saw that Shion wasn't dead just yet. His roses were still flung far from his body, and they began to slither along the ground as he hacked blood from his lungs. If the roses could consume enough flesh he could revive and give Viva another run. But as the vines nearest Viva cracked through the air, they rose too high. Instead of aiming at the demon they struck the ceiling, and chunks of plaster began to rain down on them. Viva laughed in amusement. "Déjà vu. I didn't realise, but this pathetic boy dies almost exactly according to canon! The Mistress may have saved him from death once, but to die in the same manner a second time is too ironic!" Viva stalked closer, trying to get at the Agents. Successive vines sought the demon's warm body, but Shion's roses couldn't seem to damage Viva in any way that mattered. They were merely an annoyance she had to bypass to target Karissa and Charis.

A few of Shion's dead vines found their way into the fire, and soon the carpet began to burn as well. If Viva didn't kill them first, the building would come down around their ears. Karissa felt helpless, because none of her martial arts could have any effect when the enemy was so distant – but she didn't want Viva any nearer anyways. Charis never had any fighting skills to reckon with, but in the same manner as their mission in the Midnighters fandom, she recalled that she had one last "weapon" to use against Sues. Charis let the utility pouch around her waist unfold, and she took hold of an octahedron secured in a row of similar shapes. Folding her fingers around its surface, she tossed it to the ground towards Viva. Karissa imagined it was a rather undersized grenade; the demon spared no interest for speculation. Tumbling upon the ground, it became apparent that the octahedron had figures painted only two sides. As it flickered in the dim lighting, everyone saw the Chinese characters for four, and eight. The gadget landed eight face-up.

Charis' line of sight imploded with a barrage of information. Rapidly moving images swam in her mind like television on hyper fast-forward, and she struggled not to give in to the sensory overload. The Spoiler triggered a premonition of another exit, an escape route through a door that had not been blocked by fallen beams and flame. "Karissa!" she called, directing her sister to what would have been a closet in another time. The back wall had been knocked down to lead to the next room. "Karissa, over here!" she called again. Charis saw that her sister was delayed because she'd gone back to get Lela's body. She carefully dragged it towards Charis' position while taking care not to let it be snatched by Shion's berserk roses. Shuttering their eyes against the smoke, they "three" shuffled through empty rooms that set ablaze only slightly slower than they passed through. Scarcely when they'd reached outside they became aware of the complete spectacle – the Black Roses' headquarters would be destroyed more absolutely than just the library in Red Rose had.

As they solemnly watched the conflagration they felt a huge displacement in the atmosphere, and they guessed that meant Viva had left the fandom. But the story didn't reset. Charis looked down at the body formerly known as Lela, and she felt a bit sick to her core. She said awkwardly, "I don't think events will realign to canon until... Lela's body is removed."

Karissa looked down also. "We should say a couple of words for her, shouldn't we? She was going to turn over a new leaf. She deserves as much as one of us." But she had no idea what to say in this situation any more than her sister did.

"You can start by reciting her proper name. Lela Persim Spica Clover Ginger Sarah Minnie...Koi. It means 'love and tender passion'. She started to show her true colours in the end." From a newly opened Plothole, Cay stepped into the world of Crimson Shell. She was dressed from head to toe in black, and she carried a bunch of white roses cradled in two arms. She continued to speak evenly as she walked. "In life Lela was misunderstood, and she was not treasured when she ought to have been. She was hurt and therefore inflicted hurt greatly. Death put a stop to Lela's struggle to be recognized, but death cannot mend the hearts of those left behind who finally realized what a gift her personality was. One day we will meet again, in a better place, and we will cry no more. Until then memories will keep us going. Love will get us through the dark times. Rest in peace, Lela, until we meet again."

Karissa wasn't religious, but she sent a prayer to heaven for Lela's devoured soul; surely she would receive salvation. As Cay concluded her speech, Karissa realized that an Author still had things to offer, after all; maybe Cay did love them. "You're crying," she observed. When Cay took off her blank mask, it turned out Karissa was right.

"I failed you. All of you. Lela was supposed to live and leave with you two, but I left this story for too long and Viva grew a will of her own. She killed Lela herself – right at the very instant the story had stopped. You were all supposed to have happy endings...not like this." The moisture at the corner of Cay's eyes coursed over the edge as regret rang through her apology. Karissa and Charis extended arms to envelop their Author in a tight hug. "You have to go back to the Society. Promise me you'll give deserving Sues the second chance that belonged to Lela."

T_T_T_T_T_T

When Tash returned from her sojourn things at the Library had almost gone back to normal. There was chatter that drifted past open doors, and not everyone was afraid that disturbing the peace when Tash was around had meant that they didn't care. Tyler ran into one of Adrian's lingering traps, and he suffered no more harm than he would have Before. Ben made a particularly bad pun during a lunch break and Shirley was galvanized into action like she hadn't been for a long time. It was bad form to laugh at someone in distress, but it was merely a relief to laugh. People were breaking out of the shells that had formed over the last month. Like a butterfly breaking out of the cocoon, their renewed hope was a little more fragile; but it was beautiful to behold.

Karissa was a late bloomer, inside the metaphor of the butterfly. Because everyone had known and liked Adrian, Karissa had previously been able to show her grief openly. She did not feel so assured in displaying the personal tumult caused by Lela's death. She chided herself about it. Hadn't Ben thought the same things when he'd been afraid to disclose his relationship with Lily? There was no law against feeling something for a Sue. Even in the general sense, most Sues provoked anger in the members, and that was an emotion. But she disregarded her mental logic and kept locking her feelings up. Outwardly she seemed to improve, as with the rest of the Agents. Only Charis knew that Karissa was rotting inside and growing worse.

In an attempt to cheer Karissa up, Cay dropped by one day and left behind a gift. She dispatched a much longer letter, and it did not cause nearly as much havoc as the first, but Charis definitely felt more uneasy handing it over to Karissa. With more lines there was more potential for confusion; trouble. Karissa had reconciled with Cay following Lela's death, but any further miscommunication could open sore spots between them. Karissa, the note read.

As an Author, I know – while you don't, not now – that even more dangerous times are ahead for the Society. I don't want you to be unprepared. Charis won't accept a weapon even if I had one for her, but you're not like your sister. You have the spirit of a fighter in you. That may or may not be while we always conflict whenever we meet, but in light of recent events I would like to put the past between us. We may fight again in the future, but then our disputes will be about new things; there's nothing like the death of a loved one to put the past into perspective. I'd like you to accept this present tailored specifically for you. Its name is Gekkou, and if you look that up in the Japanese-English dictionary I gave you a year ago, you'll know why that's fitting.

You've probably lost that dictionary. But you'll always have the powers of the Internet at your disposal.

It was signed simply, Cay, and again it was not written in what they knew to be their Author's handwriting, but all the markers that stood in Cay's compositions glared out at Karissa. She examined what had been in the package. A length of chain so thin that it almost appeared ornamental was weighted on the ends by long slender spikes of dense metal. Experimentally swinging the chain proved it to be strong and deadly. When Karissa closed her eyes and willed herself to invisibility, the chain faded from view too. She stood up and tucked the weapon into the red silk sash that she wore over her mourning clothes – short black overalls over a spaghetti strap top, with rockinghorse shoes, all black – and she took everything else into her room, walking past Charis in her invisibility. Once inside, she phased out of reflex, but she didn't really need to see her hands in order to take down that dictionary atop her shelf. The book had many pages, and she had to take care not to tear the thin paper, but eventually she found the entry:

Gekkou. Moonbeam.

"I've always kept this dictionary, since the time you gave it to me. Silly to think that I would have thrown it away," Karissa murmured sadly. "Do you think so little of me? Is that how I pretend to regard you?" She sat on her bed in silence for a while, as if expecting Cay to answer through the walls.

"Karissa? It's dinnertime. Did you want to eat with everyone else today?" Charis' voice sounded hesitant. She didn't knock, because she hadn't seen for herself that Karissa had gone in, but she suspected.

Karissa didn't have to answer her sister, but she reflected that was the root of most problems – people chose not to answer questions that might change someone else's life, and so the questioner had to make their own decisions based on what they knew to be wrong or right. Sometimes their judgement was flawed. "Charis, I'll be right out! Save me a seat next to Ben or Doug or someone. If Jared's bringing the LPGB to the table again, make sure that we're sitting as far away from his as possible." She forced a laugh.

Shipping Contest: PetexCharis

STRATEGY

The pictures taped haphazardly to the briefing room's front wall were all charming, in a way.

The back view of a girl as she watches a boy across the expanse of the Library floor.

Two blushing faces close together over hands reaching for the same book.

Matching expressions of peace on a couple of sleeping faces.

The boy waiting innocently outside a room as the tip of a shoe indicates someone's about to leave.

Two silhouettes stealing a kiss.

"I think this content is too mature for me. I'm not old enough to get past the mushiness of kissing."

"What? I swear you're 16. And I thought you liked romances – you're always swooning over the little boys in the fandoms you like."

"Correction. It's Lela who likes the little boys in that way. I just happen to develop a fondness for them that's only befitting the main characters of those series."

"Uh-huh." Chloe's tone made it clear that she didn't believe her companion.

"That's neither here nor there! Even if I were accustomed to flagrant PDA, that doesn't mean I have to enjoy seeing my sister caught in such compromising situations. This is uncomfortable!"

"I think you're just sore that you didn't get these pictures first, for blackmailing purposes."

"Look who's talking, Tyler," Karissa shot back. "These photos would have been worth a ton of chocolate for you – or in my case, a month off dishwashing duty for me. I also could have persuaded Charis to make a cool new gadget for me."

"Charis has said she's run out of ideas for more gadgets, actually. Either that's the truth for the moment or just an excuse to spend more time with Pete," Jared smirked.

Karissa spluttered in an attempt to come to her sister's defence; no one could tease her sister but her.

"Silence in the boardroom!" Out of the blue their leader Harriet's voice entered into the chatter. Harriet's voice preceded her as she walked into the room flanked by Emily. "Cease all your side conversations at once, and someone pinch whoever's making that unseemly noise!"

"Hey– ow!"

"Harriet, wait!" The late arrival of another Agent smoothed over the muffled laughter from Karissa glaring hurtfully at Jared while he nursed a sore hand that had been slapped trying to pinch her. Unlike Harriet, Marcus' voice arrived with him, panting but not too dishevelled from having chased her all the way from the Occult section.

"Have a seat, Marcus. You're just in time, we've barely begun. Alright everyone, we have gathered here to discuss–"

"What, exactly?" Marcus quickly interrupted Harriet before she could get much further. "You sent out invitations for this meeting to barely half our Agents, and you didn't issue an agenda beforehand. Forgive me for being curious, but what is this about? Adrian, Tash, Michael, Claire, Miri and Aster aren't even in the Library right now."

"I know that," Harriet said with a frown. "And I didn't want to trouble the Agents who aren't present now because this matter isn't that important – or I mean, no, this is a very important matter!" In the face of several confused faces she made the decision to contradict herself generously. One had to make your Agents feel like they were wanted for a purpose, after all.

"This is the reason we're here!" Harriet stabbed a finger dramatically at the picture nearest to her. Due to the angle at which she stood, nobody could see exactly which picture had earned the Society founder's ire. But Harriet kept on speaking so as to enlighten them. "A romance that started up most unexpectedly! It flourishes upon tired romantic techniques such as the Comedic First Meeting and Hey, It's YOU! Again! Its characteristic calling card is a blush seared into burning cheeks. We were all delighted to notice the appearance of this romance, but if asked beforehand none of us would have ever admitted to thinking that it would work out."

"You don't mean...we're speaking about Charis and Pete?" Karissa breathed out in horror. She was shocked despite the fact that she had been peeking at the incriminating evidence only moments before.

"Do I need to give you any more hints? Yes! As cute as the shipping is, it is so cliché! And we are the ANTI-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society. We CANNOT stand for this sort of thing happening inside of our ranks. For the sake of our reputation, we must split the offending couple apart!"

"Or we could just validate their relationship by asking the Author to go easy on the clichés in the future," Chloe suggested.

The shuddering of the Fourth Wall should have been expected, but Harriet's expression made the tremors seem like an extension of her outrage, and therefore infinitely more terrifying. "ABSOLUTELY NOT! What would be the fun in that?" She broke off with a small frown. "As of this time, 18:00 GMT, Operation 'Break Up Techshipping' is in effect. Get creative, people, and tell me how we can bring this thing to an end."

None of the five Agents on the receiving end of her speech made any moves to volunteer. "What exactly does she expect us to do?" Karissa wondered under her breath.

"What? Has nobody watched a romantic movie before, or at least picked up and skimmed a romantic novel? Think like the bitchy ex-girlfriend; think like the evil ex-wife. How do we go about destroying a relationship?"

To everyone's surprise, it was Emily who spoke up first. "Play them off against each other," she said firmly. "If there's anything Pete and Charis dislike about each other we should bring it out into the open and make them question why they put up with it."

"Oh, that's smart," Harriet admitted appreciatively.

"One of them has to cheat on the other," Jared added, contributing his part.

Chloe pragmatically recommended trying to convince the pair that they weren't right for each other – if it was true – in which case their bond would naturally, peacefully fall apart.

"If it's true? You're giving them the benefit of the doubt." Harriet again picked up on Chloe's strange reluctance to intervene in matters.

"Stranger things have happened than two seemingly random people falling truly in love."

"I'll believe that when I see it happen, in this case, before my very own eyes. Next! Back to the evil plans."

Tyler stuck a hand up. "Well, it's simple, really. Two words: Edward Cullen."

It took Harriet too long to control her laughter, while around the table other Agents twitched a little spasmodically at hearing the Twipire's name.

"The best way would be to make sure Charis has a lot more fun while she's away from Pete," Karissa said barely audibly, as if she were still thinking to herself. "If she didn't perceive any benefit from being in a relationship then maybe she wouldn't stick around with him."

"Spoken by the person who knows Charis best," Harriet mused meditatively. "I can't say that would be more effective than any of the others' methods, but it bears keeping in mind. Huh, this is a pretty nice set of strategies we've concocted. How improbable is it to say that we can finish carrying out all of these acts before midnight strikes?"

"It sounds doable," Jared replied, thinking what a shame it was that his little green army men weren't quite ready to be tested in terms of how much havoc they could wreak... yet.

"We'll definitely be done before midnight," Tyler affirmed, thinking of the doubtless booby-trapped cookies that he would be free to search out once this assignment from Harriet was over.

"Let's get this over with," both Chloe and Karissa sighed, for different reasons.

Emily returned to Harriet's side as they collectively prepared to leave but Marcus remained frozen in place at the back of the room. "Are you sure we should be doing this?" he asked a little nervously. "If you need someone to blame, strictly speaking it was one of my selves that caused Pete and Charis to be lumped together. The root of their affair isn't actually impossible to trace back to a source."

By now Harriet cared more for the effect rather than the cause of her little game. "You're blocking the exit, Marcus," she said, not unkindly. "What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. If Charis and Pete are meant to be, nothing we do will ultimately change that."

"C-can't it?" Thought Marcus stuttered as he split in half to allow the rest of the group through. Emotion Marcus just sniffed in disdain at his more sensitive counterpart and followed the others out the door. "W-wait for me!"

T_T_T_T_T_T

PLAN ONE

"Charis, what exactly do you like about Pete?" For a good half hour Karissa had circuitously led the conversation round and round the topic of boys – feigning interest in one herself, and asking her sister for advice – before she finally broached the topic of her sister's own love life. "I've heard that opposites attract, of course, but just as many people say that 'When we fall in love, we're just falling in love with ourselves.'"

"That's not a quote, Karissa. That's a lyric from Keane's Spiralling song," Charis criticized absently.

"Well it could still be true, can it not? I'd always thought someone like Himuro might be more your type. Smart. Techno-savvy. Good with his hands."

Charis giggled. "How would you know if Pete is all of those things or not? In my honest opinion–"

Karissa gagged.

"Pete is more than capable, and that is that."

"Ahem. Well, to rephrase my question, if you can't answer me what you like about Pete then why don't you like Himuro also? Why don't you love him like you do Pete?"

"Himuro is nothing like Pete, even if he is his alter-ego."

"Is there anything you dislike about him – them – Pete, I mean?"

"No, not really."

"Oh, well that's good, I guess."

T_T_T_T_T_T

Tyler was direct and to the point, egged on by Jared while Chloe stood rolling her eyes from a distance away in the background.

"Hey Pete! How are you doing?" They had taken no care to lower their voices as they barged into his room as one. One quick glance had confirmed that they were speaking to the proper person, not Himuro's personality, and then Tyler had followed up with, "If there was anything about Charis that annoyed you, you would tell us, right? There's no harm in letting loose a little steam once in a while. Has she ever done something to make you mad?"

Pete blinked at them like they were all crazy. He might have been right. Chloe edged out of his line of vision.

"What do you say, Pete?"

"I'm not the sort of guy who would breathe a single word about Charis behind her back. But in any case, there's nothing to say."

"Oh."

"..."

"We'll just be going now."

"..."

T_T_T_T_T_T

PLAN TWO

The sound of laboured breathing was magnified by the loss of other senses – most importantly, sight – in the half-darkness of the room. "Straighten your spine...hold in your breath a bit longer...you'll get used to it soon."

"NO I WON'T! Get me out of here!"

"Come on, bear with it."

"I SAID NO! Argggghhhh!"

"This is not going to work, Harriet." Emily turned a chagrined face upon her mentor. "Thought Marcus is fighting back with all he can give, and we've barely gotten the corset laced halfway up."

"WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE ONE TO DRESS UP AS A GIRL? WE HAVE REAL GIRLS!" When he was yelling at the top of his lungs Thought Marcus' stutter disappeared and he could almost be mistaken for his brash counterpart. Only, Emotion Marcus could be plainly seen, and he was currently laughing hysterically at the distress of his other self.

Harriet stepped up. "We can't ask Karissa or Chloe to seduce Pete in-character because that would ruin their relations with Charis. But if she walks in on an unknown female all snug against her man then she'll be furious! And confused. Her confusion should allow you just enough time to scarper and change out of your costume before you're discovered," Harriet explained patiently, and not for the first time.

"W-what about Emily?"

"I don't take Pete for a pedophile."

"W-what about–"

"What about me?" Harriet completed his sentence sweetly. "Surely you're not suggesting your Society founder and Leader should degrade herself?"

"NO, no, n-not at all. It would just be horribly convenient if there were a spare, mysterious, busty and beautiful woman kicking about the Library."

Emily thought immediately of her friend Phoenixia at these words, but not everyone knew – or was supposed to know – about her yet. Emily sighed as the laces grasped in her hands lost most of their tension. She had been distracted – no wonder Thought Marcus had the breath required to yell. "I vote we scrap this plan and move on to the next," she proposed reasonably. "Perhaps the others have had some better luck."

Harriet nodded slowly. "Maybe that would be for the best."

"THANK GOD! You heard her, someone give me back my coat and bandages!"

T_T_T_T_T_T

PLAN THREE

"Who will be our brave volunteer that will open a Plothole into the Twilight fandom and bring back Edward Cullen?" Plan Three was very nearly undone, because not one person raised their hand up. Yet Harriet was too sympathetic to order one of them through involuntarily.

"Why aren't those books on the Black List anyways? The descriptions of those sparkling Twipires certainly make me want to kill myself."

"Good question."

"Um, the fandom's not Blacklisted, but I do seem to recall that Adrian put some weird redirection spell on it. I don't know if we can get in with a conventional Plothole."

"No problem then." It was Tyler who announced this. "I just remembered, back in November of last year we had an invasion of Twipires. I don't know why. But they came from within the pages of the books. All we need to do is find some copies of any of the four books and I'm sure we can call the Cullen forth."

"But I thought Shirley ate all the copies of Twilight?"

"That's what we thought then. We were wrong," Karissa added darkly.

"How exactly do we lure the Cullen into our world?"

"We pretend we'd be glad to see him." Following Tyler's explanation all the Agents tried hard to twist their faces into some semblance of a smile. However, as soon as they imagined seeing the reviled Ed Cullen appear – whether he bore the semblance of Robert Pattinson or another – their faces crumbled and soon enough the only expression they all wore was loathing.

"I don't think this is going to work," Emily said at last.

"Haven't I heard that before?" Harriet wondered. "Our genius plans don't seem to be amounting to much."

"But we still have one more."

T_T_T_T_T_T

PLAN FOUR

They went shopping. All sorts of shopping – window shopping, shopping for CDs, clothes, jewellery and books. They saw a movie each – Karissa chose an animated feature for them first, and later Charis preferred to watch the latest action film complete with hunky male lead. Karissa treated her sister to dinner and dessert, and Charis bought bubble tea. They stayed in the mall for a full two hours longer than necessary so that – although the lights inside the food court remained bright – outside the black sky swept over all the buildings in its path until every window they looked through was dark.

Karissa thought it had been a fulfilling night. Charis was sure to have enjoyed herself. On the way back to the Library they walked companionably in silence, but somewhere between a Plothole and an Anachronism Charis stopped and looked as if she would speak.

"You asked me some awfully odd questions today, Karissa. Are you really that concerned about how things stand between me and Pete?"

"I just want you to be happy," Karissa responded lamely.

"Is that all? Because I am happy, you know." Charis smiled to herself. "I love him. We haven't said as much to each other, but I do think that this is more than a mere infatuation on my part now. My mind has finally caught up with my heart in order that I can admit that."

"Congratulations?" Karissa offered weakly.

Charis acted as if she hadn't heard. "Sometimes I think to that day when Pete and Joe asked us for a double date. When it was first suggested I slapped him, remember? But that was out of character for me. I don't normally do those kinds of things to strangers. I'd looked in on some of Pete's missions before, but I'd never formally met him. Why was I comfortable enough – embarrassed enough – to slap him? And then the next time I saw him I couldn't stop blushing, either. I think what I like most about Pete is that he can get a response from me whereas previously not many people could. I followed along with my instincts and ended up finding that it's not wrong to fall in love with someone after only being attracted to them at first."

"Pete was the first person I got to know well after joining the Society – discounting Doug, of course – and maybe first impressions are the most important because it didn't take him long to become pretty important to me." Charis put the weight of her whole earnest gaze on Karissa's face.

Mission be damned, she wasn't going to carry on this charade anymore. "Charis, I will support you in everything you do. You're my big sister, and–" Karissa's eyes started to tear up, to her great discomfort. "I want you to continue being with Pete in the future, if that's what it takes for you to never know regret."

"Aw, thanks Kris." Charis lapsed into her favourite nickname for her little sister, one that she hadn't been using so frequently since she'd started dating Pete.

T_T_T_T_T_T

When they stepped out onto the floor of the Library Pete was already there waiting, and Charis ran to put her arms around him without any hesitation.

But at least she wasn't hiding the display from Karissa anymore.

T_T_T_T_T_T

REPORT

The pictures were triple in number this time, almost as if they'd learnt to breed as frantically as the Society's ever-mounting paperwork. Whoever the anonymous photographer was, the quality and especially the composition of the shots remained stellar. Three of the most eye-catching were:

Charis laughingly ran ahead of Pete, daring him to catch up before they both missed the mission debriefing.

Pete held Charis' hand, allowing her to lean her head against his shoulder as he swung their linked arms.

Charis stood proudly next to a transformed Pete in the mirror, letting laughter overtake her as the unfortunate victim of the Genderbender looked abashed.

Karissa's mind was in a pleasant fog, seeing so many instances of her sister's most brilliant smile. She could just barely hear Harriet talking from across the table. "In conclusion, I suppose Techshipping isn't irreparably clichéd. Pete and Charis have plenty of time to develop a deeper relationship and then there will be reform. Just like an Author always has some chance to prevent his character from becoming a Sue or Stu, likewise there's hope left for our two Agents." Harriet tapped her cricket bat sharply on the wooden table. "I move to reconvene this meeting in two month's time and hear a full review of the couple's status."

Karissa's voice rode out quite firmly, "I move against that. We should just let them be from now on."

Chloe looked out at the group inscrutably before seconding Karissa's motion.

Harriet looked disappointed, but was secretly much relieved. "Alright, all in favour?" The vote came out unanimously. "Then it is my wish that Techshipping will thrive freely in the months to come. Though, if we can't interfere with Pete and Charis, can we still tease them?" She let the question slip before realizing that, as a Leader, no one here was suited to tell her what she could or couldn't do.

"I believe we shall," Karissa said anyways. She began to gather all the photographs pinned up, muttering, "An album full of these will be just the thing...we'll have loads of fun with this."

T_T_T_T_T_T

"Karissa? Where on earth did you get all these Polaroids?"

Insert Casual Battle in the Dead of Night Here

The majority of the clocks within the Library currently read 11:30 pm.

Even at this time of evening, Charis obediently let herself be pulled away from her lab for what was to be the fourth time that day. The first three times her removal had been justified by the reason that, otherwise, her sister would have starved if she hadn't cooked something for her; however, Charis was curious what Karissa wanted this time around.

"Where are you taking me now?" she complained half-heartedly as she was led around by the light grip on her wrist.

When she was safely ensconced inside her laboratory, Charis could usually convince herself that only a few inches of pathetic drywall separated her from fresh air. But as her field of view was faced with row upon rows of a countless number of books, she began to feel a bit queasy. The book stacks were impossibly high, too, emphasizing just how much space separated her from the Library's exterior.

"Where are you taking me?" she repeated a second time, but her cheerful tone had taken a turn for the worse, and additionally she chafed slightly against her sister's hold.

Karissa turned wide eyes on her. "Oh, sorry, Charis, I forgot about your claustrophobia. Tash sent an e-mail saying she wanted to see us in the conference room." The younger girl noted the sudden paleness that afflicted her sibling. "I've been trying to take the shortest possible route to get there, but since your lab is out-of-the-way downstairs...there isn't really a short route, just one shorter than all the others."

Charis offered a weak chuckle. She perked up a bit once they'd passed into a part of the Library with no books – there were a scattering of Agents' personal rooms in this hallway. Most of the doors stood open, and she could see that almost no one was in bed at this hour. A large majority of the Society were Night Owls. They passed one occupied room, though, and both girls felt obliged to call a greeting.

"Night, Pete!"

"Are you going somewhere? Off for a midnight snack, or out on a mission?" Pete came to the door of his room, and seemed genuinely curious about their passing.

"We're pretty sure it's a mission," Charis spoke, but her eyes were fixed shyly past his face as she replied to him. The corners of her mouth kept trying to twist into a smile of their own accord.

"Mind if I tag along?"

"You mean you want to walk with us, or you want to accompany us on the mission?" Karissa asked slyly. Her eyes darted knowingly between the other two.

Pete only shrugged noncommittally, and then he reached with his hand for a pair of glasses folded up in his pocket. Putting them over momentarily closed eyes, Himuro spoke afterwards, "Charis, have you seen my Genderbender? Pete had it last, and he's hidden it and won't tell me where it is."

"Ah, Himuro." Charis' eyes finally made eye contact. "No, I don't know where Pete might have put it, I'm sorry." There was no flush in her cheeks anymore.

"Walk with us," Karissa commanded. She seemed annoyed for some reason that Pete's alter-ego had popped up. Together, the new group of three continued the trek to the mission room.

T_T_T_T_T_T

"It took you long enough to get here." By the time they arrived, the Society leader wasn't in a bad mood – or else they would have immediately run back from whence they came – but they had without doubt seen her in better moods than this.

"I'm sorry," Karissa apologized to Tash. "Charis' lab is pretty far away-"

"Hey, Charis, were you just going to leave without telling me? We have things to talk about regarding the Anachron device before tomorrow." Douglas interrupted from the wheelchair he had been put in after his last mission in the Surrogates fandom.

Karissa's eyes boggled. "How did you get up here so fast?"

Charis was intrigued as well. "I'm sure you were still next-door in your lab when I left with my sister."

Doug gave them both an exasperated look. "There's a winding ramp at one end of the Science hallway that terminates right around here. You must have gone up the stairs next to Jared's lab; that route takes twenty minutes longer, I might add."

Charis shot her sibling an accusing glare. She had undergone how much extra anxiety during their journey, and for what?

Tired of saying sorry, Karissa communicated an apology in silence instead.

"Charis?" Doug pressed.

"Um, I honestly forgot about our discussion, Doug. We can reschedule for after I return from this mission, right?"

"Alright," he grumbled. Looking to Tash, he said, "Sorry for bothering you. I'll leave you to them for the present."

"Thank you." Bursting with irritation at the number of delays, the leader asked, "What about you, Pete? Why are you here?"

"I want to go with you on your mission, of course." Pete recovered the conversation from where he remembered leaving off. Apparently, this wasn't one of the times where he was aware that Himuro had taken over from him.

"My mission?" Tash raised an eyebrow. "Fine, if you want, you can team up with Charis and Karissa on their mission." Business-like, she addressed the sisters, "Which one of you has the better knowledge of the Midnighters trilogy?"

"That would be me," Karissa said with a scholarly air.

Tash deferred to the younger sister. "I guess you're the best-suited to lead this mission. I want you to enter the fandom in the time between Touching Darkness and Blue Noon, and you must try again to capture Lela and Viva."

Charis gritted her teeth upon hearing the Sues' names, and a pitying sort of look came into Karissa's eyes at the same time. The only one who wasn't affected personally by the announcement was, of course, Pete. He pounded one fist in his hand, and said, determinedly, "We'll do our best, Tash."

"Good luck, girls... and Pete." Before she lost her composure, Tash turned around and stifled a giggle. She hadn't intended for Pete to escort Charis and her sister, but now that she thought about it, she couldn't have orchestrated events any better herself.

T_T_T_T_T_T

"We left so quickly," Pete protested. "Is there a reason to be in such a hurry? I couldn't grab any gadgets besides what I'm wearing on me, which is my belt."

"You won't even need that," Karissa said dismissively, without any regard to the connotations other more twisted Agents might assign to her words.

Charis was the last to jump through the Plothole, and as she pocketed her Plothole Generator with one hand, she hoisted a bulky sack up on her shoulder with the other.

"Let me carry that for you," Pete offered.

"Okay," Charis agreed, but when their hands drew close, she let go of the bag a little too quickly. Her fingertips tingled as if a spark had run through them.

Pretending not to notice the same sensation, Pete commented, "Wow. That's a lot of metal. What's it all for?" He stared at the sheer quantity of metal that had been dumped over the ground when the sack opened up.

Karissa smiled broadly at something that had pleased her. "It's stainless steel. Steel and other advanced alloys are the most effective tools to fight the antagonists in this series. The Darklings are ancient creatures that were once the dominant species on the planet, but maybe because they're so old they hate anything new or considered 'technology'".

"We can just throw this stuff at them?" Pete asked sceptically.

"Don't worry, we have a plan." Whereas Karissa's words might not have reassured him, Charis' speech put a stop to his questions.

"Enjoy your welcome to the Secret Hour."

The Secret Hour, also known as the Blue Time, was limited to this town of Bixby, Oklahoma as far as anyone knew. True, at the end of Blue Noon it was suggested that the Secret Hour might have spread to other cities located at certain coordinates - it really had to do with the latitude and longitude being multiples of 12, a number strongly associated with the Darklings - but thankfully the series had never spawned the oh-so-popular money-making unplanned-sequel, and so the theory had never been confirmed.

The buildings of the small town of Bixby looked more or less as they should in a few hours' time – that is, in daytime – but in the light of the hidden 25th hour the surrounding area was awash in a mysterious blue not seen normally. There was an absence of polluting sound or movement as well, but that was as a result of the overall lack of humans out and about outdoors. According to canon only those born precisely at midnight could move around in the Blue Time. The Agents had freedom of movement because they'd each taken an Oneshot accurately in the split second during which they crossed over to the fandom.

Pete and Charis looked around wonderingly at the nightscape as they walked jaws ajar. Karissa seemed more nonplussed about the whole situation, and on top of that there was a fresh skip in her step.

"No fair! You've acquired the abilities of an Acrobat!" It hit Charis abruptly why her sister's jumping had struck her as strange. During the Blue Time, acrobats experienced reduced personal gravity, allowing them to jump dramatically farther and higher. They could appear to fly when they took a great, running jump.

Karissa smirked. "What skills do you and Pete have?"

Charis ran through a variety of mental exercises in her head. "I think I'm a Polymath," she said dejectedly. "Pete, what's the square root of 1024?"

"32," was his instant reply.

"You're a polymath too, Pete. All we have is the inherent aptitude for mathematics."

"Don't say that like it's a bad thing." The Agents spun around to the voice of Desdemona ("Dess"), the premier polymath of the series. Beside her were acrobat Jonathan Martinez and Flame Bringer Jessica Day. Jessica had been the primary protagonist in The Secret Hour, and she continued to carry a great importance throughout the rest of the series, although she was by no means more endearing than her other teammates. "I don't remember any gossip about new kids in town. Where are you from, Midnighters?"

Although there shouldn't be any reason for Dess to mistrust them – when it came to Midnighters, it was more like every new one that was discovered was cause for celebration – Karissa thought that, from the start, Dess' voice was guarded. Equally wary, she replied, "You're right, we come from out-of-town. We just happened to be visiting, and thought we'd stay through the Secret Hour." She told no lies, but there were gaping holes in her story, if Dess cared to find them.

Boldly, Jessica dropped her boyfriend's hand and stepped forward. "Are you the ones who kidnapped Rex and Melissa?" She held a heavy flashlight in her left hand, its beam on. Her power to bring technology into the Secret Hour was especially dangerous to Darklings, but she could damage the Agents too if she chose to swing the thing at their heads.

Charis spoke up immediately in their defence. "No! We don't know anything about any kidnappings!"

Jonathan made a move to recapture his girlfriend's hand. "Calm down, Jessica. They're not the ones responsible. The kidnappers I saw were two females, yeah, but one of them was an adult. They are just kids like us."

Hardly! Pete thought, but he didn't dispute the fact that he was actually 20.

*WHAM*

"Ow! W-what you just said. Rex and Melissa are missing?" Karissa forcefully took hold of the conversation and dragged it back on-topic, but she nursed a new bruise from the author's not-too-subtle nudging as she did so. "Why would Lela and Viva target main characters? Sues usually try to befriend canon characters; they don't get them out of the way."

"In my opinion, they are the strongest Midnighters. I didn't want them available to help you. If I could, I would have removed these three before you arrived, as well."

Following the trend she'd started in Insert Evident Demonic Contract Here (somewhere in transdimensional space, a tremor rocked the Library), Lela appeared as if from nowhere, and Viva stuck to the Sue like a second shadow. "Surprise! You've walked into a trap, Agents. Congratulations!"

Pete immediately passed a hand over his belt buckle, revealing a relief of a white dragonfly, and his Lightdrake armour covered his clothes. However, neither Karissa nor Charis moved to produce any weapons. Charis simply held out a hand to her sister. "A trap?"

Karissa slapped a five-dollar bill into her waiting palm. "Yeah, it was a trap. There, paid in full."

"How could you willingly walk into a trap, knowing it was here?" For a moment, Lela put aside her enmity for a tone of true puzzlement.

Karissa rolled her eyes. "If you're the one who springs the trap, you have to be at the centre of it. And how will I ever capture you if I don't come to the source of the trap– to you?"

Heavy silence emanated from the Sues' side. Lela flipped her short hair away from her face impatiently, and just like that the silence disappeared. "In any case, I've got you where I want you. Let's see you try to defeat a whole army of Darklings."

"How will you summon–" Karissa began. Before she'd finished speaking, Viva dropped to the ground, threw her head back, and began to morph. The lines separating the separate pieces of her clothing ran together – black on black – and her spine contorted dangerously. The Sue's arms and legs became heavily muscled, and with a terrible sound a long black tail uncoiled behind her. The transformed Sue was nothing more than a large cat, but she was frightening nonetheless.

"Voila! A makeshift Darkling. They alone can make their kind heed a call." Lela grinned madly. This time, when Viva reared her head, she let loose a deafening roar. Wing beats began to be heard in the sky, not far from where they all stood.

Jonathan spoke up mildly. "Besides the fact that we've found our kidnappers, and besides the fact that I just saw a human change into a cat – to think I thought what we do was pretty unbelievable – why do I get the feeling that things are about to get a lot more interesting?"

"Because you're right!" Karissa shouted. She tore the sack of metal from Pete's grasp, and began to rapidly distribute its contents to both Agents and characters. "I know you already have some weapons," she told the Midnighters. "They might have names as well, but we brought along a list of words ourselves, and now we don't have the time to compare vocabularies. Please take a part of our list, and use it anyways. Knowing Lela, I anticipate that a lot more Darklings than you're used to are on their way."

At the same time, Charis was explaining to Pete, "The materials that we use to fight Darklings have to be blessed with names; thirteen-letter words. Take a piece of steel in your hands, hold it to your lips, and call its name just like this." Charis near-kissed a two-pronged fork, uttering "Abbreviations," and in one fluid movement she turned and skewered a snake-like Slither on its end. "Got that memorized?" she asked him sweetly, and then she called to Karissa, "The cavalry has arrived!"

The initial scene of the battle was too chaotic to describe. Above the din, the oddest words were bellowed out: "Abiogenically!", "Abnormalities!", "Abolitionists!", and then some.

Aboriginality Abortifacient Absorbability Absquatulated Absquatulates Abstractional Acariciandote Accelerations Accelerometer Accentuations Acceptability Accessibility Accessorizing Acciaccaturas Accidentalism Acclimatizers Acclimatizing Accommodating Accommodation Accommodative Accommodators Accompaniment Accomplishers Accomplishing Accordionists Accouchements Accountancies Accouterments Accoutrements Accreditation Acculturating Acculturation Acculturative Accumulations Adulterations Affectivities Affirmatively Affordability Anfractuous Antifeminists Appropriation Arachnophobia

Bloodcurdling Brainstorming Brogdignagian

Cardiologists Categorically Coeducational Congregations Conscientious Conspicuously Constitutions Contortionist Contraception Contradiction Coronaphobiac

Daguerreotype Decaffeinated Deceitfulness Decompression Deliciousness Demonstration Dependability Dictatorships Disappearance Discomforting Dysfunctional

Electromagnet Encyclopedias Exaggerations Explosiveness

Felicitations Foreshortened Fortification

Geostationary Globalization Gratification Gynecologists

Hallucinogens Heterosexuals Hyperinflated Hypochondriac

Illuminations Illustrations

Anytime a Midnighter faced off against a Darkling, the human combatant won, albeit with some difficulty. However, for the first time that Karissa could remember, Lela immersed herself personally in the fight as well. Karissa came face-to-face with her fated rival with no little astonishment. "How do you think you're going to fight me?" she taunted the Sue, remembering their encounter in the DGray-man fandom where Lela's repertoire had consisted of various – yet functionally limited – blocks.

Lela thrust a hand out, and Karissa barely phased out of the visible spectrum in time to throw off her aim. Her invisibility didn't faze the Sue for more than a second though, and Lela reciprocated with another jab that arced through the air eerily close to her real location. "You've never tested the powers of a Pureblood have you?" Lela held back a laugh. She sent forth a barrage of wind that shouldn't have posed a threat to Karissa. The Agent moved to take a step out of the way, but against her will she walked into the attack. She cried out against the improbable pain of a slip of a breeze slicing into her skin like razors.

"My ability will not only distort your sense of balance and direction, but it will then cut you to the bone when you enter its embrace." Lela pushed more wind towards Karissa, and true to her word, Karissa felt more cuts open up all along her arms. "My empathetic connection wouldn't let me access my Pureblood powers before, but among other things, my demon is an unnaturally good teacher." Two paces away, Viva pounced upon Jonathan – still in her quasi-Darkling form – and when she spread her jaws she might have been smiling in response to her master's praise.

"Jonathan, no!" Charis distantly heard Jessica scream, and from the spot where she fought back-to-back with Pete, she came to realise that they were losing. The conclusion of this battle wouldn't turn out well for the Agents and their allies, unless good fortune intervened. "Pete, cover me!" she yelled, breaking the connection of their bodies. Fishing around in her pocket – no, the other pocket, she didn't want her Plothole Generator – Charis pulled out what appeared to be a Nike swoosh-shaped keychain. Pete cleared a path for her as she headed towards the centre of all the destruction.

Although no one paid her any mind, Charis still hesitated before she used her device. She didn't do so out of dramatic effect, but she wanted to make sure her sister wouldn't be hurt by what she was about to do. "Reality check!" she announced, as she hurled the keychain-object to the ground. Instantly, a visible Karissa stopped screaming in pain; Lela stared at her hands dumbly, at a loss to the reason why her powers had vanished; Viva shuddered before returning to a human form; last of all, Pete's armour disappeared without a trace.

"What did you do?" he asked in a panic. The struggle still raged on around them, and Pete raked a steel knife he still held down a Darkling's side, in the only way to ward it away from Charis. If the yowl it gave was any indication, enchanted metal was effective all the same.

"A reality check works in fandoms where the setting nearly parallels the real world. It causes any foreign invaders of the fandom to temporarily lose their powers, be they Agent or Sue," Charis panted. As she made her explanation, she too continued to brandish her canon weapons. "Any powers we brought in with us are nullified from this point on. We can only continue fighting with these weapons because the metal was powerless until we named it, and we did that after we entered the fandom."

Karissa caught on quick, although she hadn't heard Charis' full-length explanation. She staggered over to her fellow Agents, running rapidly through her remaining list of words and losing weapons in Darklings for every inch of ground she covered. Jessica had helped Jonathan recover from Viva's lunge, and the Midnighters were grouped together once more, just like the Agents. Dess hardly looked battle-weary at all as she nodded to Karissa, "Those two seem a bit shell-shocked by whatever you did. Should we finish off these Darklings before they snap back?" Of course, by 'those two' she meant Viva and Lela.

Karissa concurred whole-heartedly with Dess' strategy. Clutching the scrap of paper she had left, along with everyone she raised her voice and called the names of every weapon she possessed.

Immunizations Impassiveness Impersonation Imprisonments Inconceivable Indescribable Individualism Individuality Instantaneous Instinctively Intentionally Investigative Irresponsible Irresponsibly

Jurisdictions Jurisprudence

Kaleidoscopes Kleptomaniacs Knowledgeable

Lethargically

Machiavellian Magnetosphere Magnification Magnificently Manipulations Materialistic Miscellaneous

Nonconforming Nonconformist Nonconformity

Obstructively Omnipresently Opportunities Oppressiveness Organizations Overzealously

Particleboard Penultimately Perambulation Personalities Preproduction Prescriptions Psychosomatic Purposelessly

Questionnaire

Resplendently Revolutionize Rubbernecking

Sadomasochism Scintillating Selectiveness Serendipities Serendipitous Splendiferous Spontaneously Stereotypical Stratocumulus Superfluously

Technological Televangelist Temperamental Therapeutical Transorbitals

Unanticipated Uncomfortable Undergarments Undergraduate Unfortunately Unintelligent Unjustifiable Unpretentious

Valedictorian!

The Darkling forces stood no chance against the ultimate onslaught. Any live ones turned tail and fled, leaving the Sues and six humans standing in the shadow of their flight. When the sky had cleared, Karissa made herself turn to Lela, and she saw that she was being comforted by her demon and governess. Lela was crying. "I don't suppose you're ready to turn yourself in?" she enquired softly.

Lela raised a tear-streaked face, and answered defiantly, "Never!" Disgracefully, she threw her arms around Viva's neck, and while being carried she was spirited away by Viva.

"How long do you figure your Reality Check will last, Charis?"

"It won't hold out for five more minutes."

"So we've got five minutes to try and chase them down, or else they'll be gone. They'll be able to produce a Plothole at the same time we can."

"Yes."

Karissa set off first, and after watching her gain a decent head-start, Charis and Pete thought to go as well. "Goodbye, Jess, Dess, Jonathan," Charis politely made their goodbyes. "In five minutes you won't remember any of this. Rex and Melissa will be at the edge of town being embarrassingly romantic as usual. Go find them." She and Pete left before the Midnighters could find any words to express how they felt. Maybe that was best.

T_T_T_T_T_T

"Is this how your missions normally end? I mean, I have a strange rival in Anuhs Weedy, but compared to Lela his motivation seems almost sane." Pete was walking Charis back to her lab, which served as her bedroom whenever she was Inside. They walked closely so that their hands practically touched, but they wouldn't hold hands while others about might see.

"I maintain that Lela is a nutcase because she wants to kill me and Karissa, but she can't because she's related to us," Charis said shortly. She wavered between disdain and compassion for the Sue, right in front of his eyes. "If only Lela weren't so pig-headed. Our Author put her into a comfortable retirement when she decided to stop writing Lela's story, but she treated that the same as if she'd been tossed into the Vault of Abandoned Ideas. Both Karissa and Lela hunger for Cay's affection so much that it skews their perception entirely."

"Oh?" Pete didn't say anything more for a while. Eventually he wanted to suggest to Charis that they talk about something else, but they'd already arrived in front of her door in the Science corridor.

"Thanks for coming today, Pete," Charis said tiredly. "You really didn't have to."

"But I wanted to." When Charis opened the door to go inside, he belatedly called her back. "Charis?" With her searching eyes gazing straight at him, he deliberately stuck his head into her room and kissed her. He took advantage of the closing door to shield them from view. "I wouldn't mind going on other missions with you, some time," he mouthed against her lips.

Charis brushed brilliantly. "Off with you now. G-goodnight."