Insert Multichapter Flashback Here (part 2 of 3)

"We should've killed him."

Willie and Tyler were bored. Very, very bored. Honestly, this degree of boredom had probably never been achieved by human or fish kind. Nothing was exploding, all of Adrian's candy had been stolen. The candy that they actually knew about, anyway…

"Why?" Tyler asked.

"'Cause it would've been fun." Willie said, lazily tossing around a ball of Hellfire. Up down, up down. Soon the monotony would probably put him to sleep.

Luckily Willie's Communicator buzzed, saving him a likely death by boredom. He flipped it open and Tash's face appeared on the screen.

"Willie, there's a Sue in the... Toriko fandom. You're a fan, right?"

"Yeah!" Willie said enthusiastically. This was just the thing to ease his boredom. Tyler, however, was going to be left to waste away from lack of explosions. Oh well.

"You know the drill, get in, get out, and don't kill a canon character." Tash's face disappeared and the screen was left with just a bit of static. Willie jumped up from the unidentified mass on which he had been sitting and ran to get his Plothole generator. At least, that's what he told Tyler.

As Willie walked down the empty hallway, he got his phone out of his pocket and answered it. "Let me guess. The Sue in the Toriko fandom has the next artifact, am I right? he asked, smirking sarcastically.

"Obviously, otherwise this call would have been nonexistent, like a five footed rock!" the warped voice answered, Dimentio's ever present glee tainting every word he spoke.

"Um… okay," he replied, still baffled by the bizarre similes that Dimentio came up with on a regular basis. "Anyway, is there any other reason for the call, or can I just hang up and get ready?" he continued, praying that the latter was the case.

"Just one more thing. Refresh the Suergy block on the monitoring system before you go. Our techies are going a good job maintaining it but we need a little more before it starts to wane," Dimentio said, before being met with a sigh by Willie.

"Alright then. Talk to you when I get the artifact," he said, before hanging up and continuing his walk to retrieve his Plothole Generator. After all, the fact that he hadn't left to get it didn't mean that he didn't need to get it.

-Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society-

In the Human World, the Gourmet Age was in full bloom, all because of one woman. Parsley Sage Rosemary Thyme Sirloin Pork had climbed the ladder of IGO, the International Gourmet Organization, as easily as she became the world's greatest Gourmet Hunter, outstripping Toriko for most food ingredients discovered. She also was the first to beat him in an eating contest, eating more food in a minute than Toriko ate in a month, yet always maintaining that perfect thin frame. With her incredible looks, purple hair, pale skin and golden eyes, she easily attracted the attention of Coco, master of poison, whom she swiftly married. It was at this point that the readers threw up, the sound of bile the alarm that thrust the Society into action.

-Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society-

In front of the Food Palace, Parsley's pleasure-dome of food, love, and more food, Willie stepped out of a rapidly appearing and disappearing Plothole. He looked up at the edifice with disgust. It looked like a giant bowl of ramen filled with various foods so rare that just seeing it was something worth millions of dollars.

"You have got to be kidding me. Methinks this woman came from the Naruto crossover section of this fandom," he mused, before sighing and pulling out his sword. "Let's get this over with," he continued, before walking up to the steak-shaped door and kicking it down.

Miss Parsley was sitting on a large throne carved out of a pear. Willie almost facepalmed then. The rest of the room was the same, the entire thing modeled from food, though much of it was ramen.

Definitely Naruto crossover. He thought.

"Who dares disturb me, the great, powerful, and beautiful ruler!" she clichéd.

Wow… that's really laying it on thick… Willie thought.

"Blah blah, you're under arrest, blah blah, you're manipulating the fandom, blah blah, raping canon, blah blah, are you coming quietly or do I get to kill you?"

"Why should I go with you? I am a perfect being! My sheer flawlessness absolves me of any crime I might commit; assuming such a thing is even possible! And you are an imperfect being! Though you are pretty cute… Where was I? Oh yes, superior being." Meanwhile, Willie rolled his eyes, tapped his foot impatiently and repeatedly checked his nonexistent watch.

"My beauty, sweetness, talent, and justice-full-ness shall triumph over all the icky and evil things in the Multiverse through my sheer pure purity-ness. And beauty, and kindness and talent and boyfriends and girlfriends-no one can ever accuse me of not being inclusive!- and sparkly-ish-ness-y-"

"Okay, now you're just getting ridiculous!" Willie interjected. Parsley shot a bolt of lightning at him.

"It's rude to interrupt!" she shouted. The 'powerful ruler' thing she was going for was spoiled by the fact that Willie didn't so much as blink and the tiny little fact that her aim was crap and the lightning bolt missed him by a couple of feet.

"Anyway, the point that I was getting to was that I am perfect, I can make you perfect, you should go out with me, and we should rule the Multiverse. What do you think?" She raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow and waited for his response. It didn't take long for her to get it because a derisive snort takes very little time to do.

"Why? I am perfect!" She shrieked. Like most Sues she was used to having every man bow to her and kiss her perfectly pedicured feet.

Willie yawned. In his opinion Maria was a lot more interesting. She at least snarked at him before she died a decently horrible death.

"Fine, if I can't have you- Actually, I don't really care. But you're annoying, so die." Parsley snapped her fingers. Seven men who were probably on steroids walked into the room, coming from the same random place that all hench-type-people come from.

"Boys," she said, "Get him."

As the seven slabs of beef and stupidity rushed at Willie, he quickly drew his sword and began shooting blasts of fire, all of which went out the second the connected with the muscles of the men

"Ha ha ha! You fool! I had my men equipped against elemental attacks, your specialty! Now you'll regret denying me and my perfection!" Parsley shrieked, causing Willie to roll his eyes.

"You know, you're the most annoying Sue I have ever faced!" he screamed, before being felled by a punch from one of the men, who curiously enough had two champagne bottles on each wrist. As Willie lay on the ground trying to get his wind back, the man stood over him, aiming all four bottles at his back.

"Now you will pay for defying my mistress. Champagne Bla-" the man began, before a long grey something shot out of nowhere and pierced his tiny brain, killing him instantly. As the other six stood, shocked, they were each hit by tiny needles, causing them to slump to the ground unconscious. As Willie got up, his eyes tightened.

"What, not happy to see your old friends?" the short, thin, gray man asked. Before you ask any questions, yes, it was Elder Toguro.

"You're fine, more or less. It's everyone else," Willie replied, before turning to lock eyes with a familiar blonde half-ninja.

"Willie."

"Roxie."

"You two really should have stayed together." Glorificus said. Yes, Glorificus a.k.a. Glory from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Screaming is allowed.

Willie and Roxie glared at each other and crossed their arms in unison.

"What are you three doing here? I can handle everything fine on my own." Willie glared at them and tensed up, knowing that if those three were here nothing good was coming.

"Boredom, the desire to kill something, oh, and the boss thinks you're doing a crappy job." Roxie said, smirking as she said the last few words.

"Hmph. I'm doing fine." Willie said, the testosterone almost hitting visibility.

"No, you're way too damn slow."

Roxie had uncrossed her arms and was lightly touching the hilt of her sword.

Willie glowered.

Roxie he could handle. Toguro he could mess up so bad the freak of nature wouldn't be bothering anyone for a while. Together he could maybe take them. But with Glory? No chance in Hell.

Glory made a small step forward and flicked her hair back sueishly. Yep, adjective now.

"Willie, it hurts me. Wounds me even. We need to get this plan moving. And it- it's just so cruel how you're not doing your job! So do your damn job so I can go home and maybe rule the universe!" Glory said, hitting Willie into a wall on the last sentence.

Willie slowly picked himself off the ground. He groaned in pain, slipping into a more defensive stance. He had forgotten how much her hits hurt. And he hadn't even seen her move... Note to self: Never mess with Hellgods unless you're reasonably sure you can rule their home dimension with an iron fist.

Nearly all the unsatisfied characters in the fandom-verse in the CCMD and he sends these three, Willie thought. For those interested, CCMD stands for Canon Characters for Multiversal Destruction. "Well, if Haku taught you well enough, those needles should wear off in around another minute. Shall we recommence with the murder?" he asked.

"No. You go take care of that idiot over there who isn't bothering to attack us while we talk. MY bloodlust is up, so we'll take care of these meatslabs over here," Elder Toguro said, and Willie blanched. If he had learned one thing from his years in the CCMD, when Elder Toguro wanted blood, best to stay out of the way.

"Okay, but if these losers defeat you three, I'm having Dimentio demote you," he said, before running off to attack Parsley. As he did so, the six doomed men got up, much to the delight of the three sadists.

"Well now, let's get started!" Roxie said, before the three began the massacre.

-EPIC-

The men immediately broke off into three two man groups, rather than rushing the three all at once like smart people would to. The first group of two immediately charged towards Elder Toguro. Big mistake.

"Salad Bar!" one of them screamed, before pulling a giant metal bar covered with vegetables out of thin air and proceeding to beat Elder Toguro to death with it. Or at least, that was the plan. What actually happened was Elder Toguro's razor sharp hands minced the bar into pieces and then tore out the guy's heart, which he then ate.

"My brother! You'll pay for that! Steak Kick!" the other man shouted, before kicking Toguro in the face with his right leg, which was covered in steak.

"Do you really think this will-huh. These things are actually amaz-" Toguro said, before his head was knocked practically off his body by a second kick, also covered in steak, but these steaks looked harder than steel.

"Hah! How do you like them apples, murderer?" the poor deluded fool asked, before Toguro's fingers stabbed him through the chest.

"You miserable sack of blood and nerves. Did you really think simply kicking me like that would do anything?" he asked, before twisting his fingers, causing the once-confident fool to scream in agony. "Oh, we're going to have so much fun."

-FIGHT-

Meanwhile, Glory was punching and kicking the two men like they weren't even there. Before they even had a chance to use their special attacks, they were on the ground, near death.

"What, done already? How not, well, glorious. But, now time to feed," she said, before bending down and sticking her fingers into the brains of the two. They suddenly began screaming like the world was ending, but soon stopped as Glory removed her fingers and licked them.

"Pity. Not much there to take. Ah well, some is better than none, right?" she asked, before pulling a makeup compact out of nowhere and touching up.

-SCENE-

"Fruit of Rainbow!" the man screamed, in what was becoming a trend, before firing seven blasts of different colored energy at Roxie, who swiftly deflected them out of the way with her sword before running forward and stabbing him in the chest. She then turned to the last man standing.

"So you're the only one left? I hope you're more of a challenge than your pathetic friends," she taunted as he brought his hands together.

"Oh, you bet. I am the most powerful, seven times more powerful than all of my comrades. Take this! Ultimate Full Course!" he exclaimed, before launching blasts of acidic champagne, tough steaks, metal bars with vegetables on them, giant mutant salmon, metal popcorn, and fruit energy blasts. The battle ended within ten seconds. Two seconds for Roxie to deflect everything, two to run up to the man, two to stab him, two for him to die, and two for her to taunt.

"Sorry, but seven times zero is still zero," she said, before cleaning her sword of unworthy blood.

-Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society-

"What? But how is this possible? I'm perfect!" Parsley shouted as her men died. She then shuddered for a moment, before her body vanished, revealing Willie standing behind her with a smoking golden gun in his hands.

"No, you're dead. And good riddance," he said, before picking up the golden gem-studded necklace on her throne and tossing it to Roxie. "Here, take this back to Dimentio for me, will you?"

Roxie caught it, then smirked. "Sure, but take a little gift from me too," she said, before picking up some blood and tossing it at Willie, staining his clothes bright red. He sighed.

"Fine, fine. Now go away. I need to get back to the Society and talk with Dimentio," he said, before opening a Plothole and jumping through it.

-Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society-

Willie snapped his phone shut and sighed. This was the last job like this he would ever do. The stress was killing him.

Willie put his phone away and glanced at his clothes. The clothes that were covered in blood. And he was standing right in the middle of the Library. Oops.

He heard footsteps and ran as fast as he could back to his room. If anyone saw the bloodstains there would be trouble. The kind of trouble that usually sent your plans to take over the Multiverse down the drain.

He got lucky and no one was in his way, though that was because he took about twenty different never-used shortcuts. Some of which almost sent him to a hell-dimension or three.

And there was that invisibility spell and the shield-spell but focusing on the secret passages and hell dimensions makes it sound cooler. Willie glanced up and down the hallway a few times before walking up to his door.

He opened the door and saw…nothing. The room was pitch black. Willie flipped the light switch, and his eyes widened. Sitting on one of the chairs in his room was a strange silhouetted figure. It was strange in the fact that there was more than enough light to fully show whoever it was. However, despite no features being visible, Willie began growling as recognition hit him.

"Hello Willie. Long time no see," the figure said, his voice calm and definitely masculine in tone. Willie's eyes flared as he drew his sword, lighting it aflame as he did so.

"What…WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU BASTARD?" he screamed as he rushed towards the figure, showing every intention of cutting him down.

As Willie raced across the room, sword held high, but the mysterious figure simply sat there, unmoving and unconcerned. This only increased Willie's rage, and the flames on his sword rose higher and higher until the figure let out a sigh. In a moment the flames died and Willie was paralyzed. Willie grunted in frustration as the figure got up.

"I'm frankly insulted. Is that really any way to greet an old friend?" he asked, the shadows falling from his body like water.

"We were never friends," Willie said, looking over the figure's revealed form. Clad in shining white armor and with a long velvet cape, he looked like a Knight Templar Stu. His helmet obscured every detail of his face, and in his right hand there was a pure white sword with glistening edges. "We were only master and servant. Or should I say author and creation?" Bitterness filled every word he spoke, and the knight shook his head.

"Why do you hate me so much?" the Author asked. "I gave you your life, your purpose, your-"

"You gave me a one-way ticket to Hell! Why would you make me sell my soul, you heartless ass!" Willie shouted, attempting to relight his sword. "I was your first successful character, why the hell would you do that to me!"

"Power, of course. I needed a powerful character, but all my other attempts were just Self-Insert Stus. In order to make a powerful character, I needed an evil one. Less chance for Stuishness. Of course, that didn't go all that well... Anyway, that's where you came in," he said, his voice carrying about as much emotion as the paint on Willie's wall. "You were my finest work. And for once I was actually tempted to give you my actual name instead of messing with the spelling."

"Please, Willie looks way cooler. Moving on, why are you here? I have nothing to connect me to you." Willie glared, which was about as much as he could do.

"To warn you. Just because you hate me doesn't mean I want you to suffer and die horribly. Dimentio is completely and utterly insane. He will betray you to get what he wants, and not even I am going to be able to save you. " The author lightly brushed an imaginary piece of dust off of his armor.

"Not that you'd want to. You say I'm your finest work, but you only come now, when we've almost won. Why don't you go on home polish that armor more, my bangs look a bit blurry."

"Willie, be serious. What do you gain from the destruction of the Multiverse?"

"Get lost."

"You don't even know why you're fighting, do you?"

"I said get lost."

"Oh, stop it. Now come with me. I can help ."

"Erase me, you mean. No thanks, I'm staying here."

"Fine, be an idiot if you want. Goodbye, I doubt we'll be seeing each other again." And with that Willy turned and walked towards the back of the room. Suddenly, Willie felt his arms loosen, letting him to move again. Within seconds, he had rushed over to his creator and slammed his sword into the helmet, knocking it clean off.

"You son of a bitch. You say I'm your finest work and you don't think I'm good enough to even..." Willie sighed, the noise somewhere between frustrated and furious, looking at the empty space the helmet had occupied moments before.

"Why are you surprised? You betrayed me, why would you ever be good enough for that?" The voice boomed out of the empty armor, which turned, picked up the helmet and resumed walking. "Oh, one last word of advice. All Hell's going to break loose here pretty soon, so you'd best be ready," The Author said, before vanishing into the only unlit corner of the room, leaving Willie with nothing but his thoughts.

-htpedlautcaesirprus -

Later, Willie was roused from his thoughts by an insistent knocking on his door. Willie pushed himself off his bed and opened the door just a crack.

"Tash, what do you want? I'm kinda busy." Willie said, obviously tired and irritated. Tash sighed.

"Sorry to disturb you, your highness, but you're the only one who knows the Pygmalio fandom."

"Pygmalio? Seriously? Wow, I thought that fandom would be safe from Sues and Stus. It's ancient."

"Exactly. You're the only one who's even heard of it. Well, besides Aster, but she's in one of her manga reading trances." Willie sighed.

"Fine, fine, I'll go." And with that Willie slammed the door shut and opened a plothole. He was so distracted he barely remembered to grab his D-Pistol.

-Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society-

The Kingdom of Rune and the many lands beyond were finally free of the terror of Medusa. As Queen Galaeta walked the halls of the palace again, she often came across her son, Kurt and his soon-to-be bride, Olea Beautiful Shining Yagami. The two had met on Kurt's travels to defeat Medusa, and had bonded in a matter of moments. After learning of his quest, she instantly decided to join him, despite her young age of twelve. With her help, Medusa fell in a matter of weeks, and the two returned to his home to prepare for the wedding.

-Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society-

As the sun shone brightly on a field of flowers, Willie walked out of the swiftly vanishing Plothole and looked around, frowning at the utter purity of that location.

"Oh my god. There's too much color here. I need to find this Sue before my brain melts." With that, Willie quickly looked around the area, smirking when he saw a figure crouching down about ten feet away, somehow not noticing him.

Olea hummed quietly to herself and picked another perfect daisy for her growing bouquet. Willie rolled his eyes at the complete clichéness of the scene and drew his sword.

Olea heard the noise, of course, after all, Willie doesn't a subtle bone in his body and we love him for it. She slowly looked up at him calmly, and maybe a little sadly. She stood up and brushed the grass and dust from the front of her flowing white dress of pure pureness.

"Hello. It's a pleasure to meet you." she said politely as she pulled a lily from her bouquet and offered it to the double agent. Willie raised an eyebrow but actually took the flower.

"I'm here to arrest you in the name of the society I'm betraying mostly for the heck of it. Please don't surrender. I like having an excuse to murder you. Not that I actually need one, of course, but it means the readers might end up liking me more." He said, grinning psychotically.

Olea gave him a 'what are you on' look but quickly erased the expression, returning to complete serenity. She turned to walk down the path that was line with ladybugs and butterflies and cute little honeybees and other such meadowy cliché 'good will towards all' showing insects.

She beckoned to Willie to follow her. He did, but he was pouting, crossing his arms, and generally acting rather childish because she wasn't getting scared or trying to fight him.

"I've been wondering when someone would come for me..." Olea sighed sadly and got up, needlessly brushing off the front of her pristine white gown.

"Huh, you're the first one to actually know what's going on. I should really kill you now..."

"But you won't." She said, straightening up further and lifting her pure white dress a bit so it wouldn't get dirty.

"And how do you know that?" Willie asked, crossing his arms and scowling.

"Because you haven't killed me yet." she said, smiling slightly.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, Willie getting more and more bored and getting closer and closer to just murdering her for fun. Finally, just before he overcame the strange compulsion to not murder her (let's call it empathy) Olea broke the silence.

"Willie. Do you know why I have this artifact?"

"No... I never I asked..." Willie frowned and glared at something in the distance. "That's weird... Why did I never ask...?"

The Sue gave him a sad and thoughtful look. Mostly just sad.

"After Rama ascended to Heaven, he sealed all of the artifacts away, all over the Multiverse. They stayed in their hiding places for a long time, until one of the Lieutenants unearthed them, one by one. After she did they would enter the bodies of Sues who matched their traits. When the host died, and if nothing interfered, the artifact would move on to another Sue. Lather, rinse, repeat. And until recently, no one realized it." she explained.

"Dimentio eventually put two and two together and decided to use their powers to destroy the Multiverse, because he is absolutely insane and loves chaos beyond all any form of reason." Olea took a deep breath

"Willie, I need you to kill me."

"What," Willie shouted, "Are you insane! Why would you want me to kill you?"

"Yes. Say you left, Dimentio would send someone else. That someone would probably enjoy ripping me into tiny pieces and then tap dancing on the bloody stain that used to be me." Olea said matter of factly.

"Good point... But are you sure? Do you really want to die?" Willie asked, looking confused and torn.

"Yes, I'm quite sure. Every day, every second..." she sighed heavily "So painful... So heavy... I'm tired... Just so tired... Willie, I don't want to pass horribly and painfully."

"Alright..." Willie pressed the golden pistol to her temple, took a deep breath, and fired. Olea's blood covered his clothing. And for once Willie was not happy with the sight.

As Olea's body hit the ground, it quickly dissolved into motes of light, leaving behind only a golden ring. The four gems upon it glowed in the sunlight, one brown, one green, one red and one blue. Willie bent down to pick it up, but before he could, a familiar gloved hand picked it up.

"Ah, now the fourth artifact is finally ours. Victory is near, like an air vent for Marilyn Monroe!" Dimentio exclaimed, bouncing the ring up and down on his palm.

"I swear your analogies get weirder and weirder every day," Willie responded, shaking his head. He then sighed, making Dimentio turn his attention back towards him.

"What's wrong, Willie? Shaken by the prospect of ultimate power? It happens to everyone, I assure you, but it will pass."

"No, it's not that. It's just that…I don't know. For some reason, this time felt different. She actually understood about the artifacts and she…she wanted to die."

"Then why feel bad? She wanted it, you were just giving her what she desired. I'm sure she is happy in the next world."

"I suppose you're right. Are you going back now?"

"No, I think I'll stay a bit longer and make sure that the world is purged of her influence. Run along now."

"Alright." With that, Willie opened a Plothole and walked through it, leaving Dimentio entirely alone in the field.
The second the Plothole closed, Dimentio's smile turned into a frown.

"Should have known this would happen eventually. It's painful, but nothing you couldn't expect," he said. He folded his fingers around the ring, feeling its cool weight settle in the hollow of his palm. With a sigh of contentment, he snapped the fingers on his other hand.

He almost staggered as his weight balance changed, the Sword, Bracelet and Necklace of Rama appearing at his waist, around his right wrist and around his neck respectively. He then slid the Ring of Rama onto his right index finger, and smiled.

"All the power in the Multiverse will be at my disposal soon enough. All I need is one little bracelet, and the worlds are mine. However, I will need to give serious thought to eliminating Willie as soon as he claims the final one. If he begins to emphasize with the Sues, he will become a liability. I will not have anyone taint my plans, least of all a gothic little brat like him."

Dimentio then turned on his heel and vanished from the world, leaving nothing but a dead patch of flowers to show that he had been there at all.

Insert Multichapter Flashback Here (part 1 of 3)

Inara sat up in her bed and yawned. She winced as her left arm accidentally hit her nightstand. She hopped out of bed and threw on a Batman t-shirt and jeans before grabbing breakfast. Another day, another 24 hours of dodging Shirley. She had also been poking around to see what the other agents knew about Willie.

This amounted to pretty much nothing. Really, the guy was less open around other people than her. Inara was brought out of her musings by a blast of purple-black fire scorching the hallway.

"Stay away from the manga Shirley!" Willie shouted from down the hallway. Shirley, looking very much like she wanted to do very horrible and painful things to him, walked, er, hovered, flew, okay, went down the burned out hallway mumbling things that should never be repeated in front of your grandmother.

"Hey! Wait up!" Inara shouted as Willie turned and went down another hallway. The sound of a door slamming echoed and Inara dropped her head. Of course her one chance of talking to him ended with her being ignored. Lovely.

A Few Hours Later

Inara walked down the hallway, almost growling in frustration. "Stupid Platinum Elite Four…" She muttered to herself. Inara frowned in confusion as she heard some boy singing. It was really good singing too. But for some odd reason it was a Disney song… She shook her head lightly and went to check it out.

The singing was coming from a room a few doors down; the door slightly ajar.

"Oh, you have got to be freaking kidding me."

Willie was in the middle of the room singing Poor Unfortunate Souls. From what she could tell he was also trying to dance; the key word being "try." Inara burst out laughing. It wasn't every day you saw a vicious murderer singing a Disney song and dancing really really badly. Willie whipped around to see where the laughter was coming from and turned bright red.

"Are you done laughing at me yet?" Willie was still bright red and looking extremely annoyed . "J- Just a few more seconds" And she laughed for a few more seconds. Sixteen, to be exact. "I'm sorry, but that's hilarious, I've got to tell some of the other Agents." Inara had finished laughing about halfway through her first sentence and was now giggling uncontrollably.

Willie froze and a 'deer in the headlights' look appeared on his face. "Don't tell anyone. Please."

"I won't, but why not?" Inara crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Because they'll lose respect for me if they know I sing." Inara blinked and just looked at Willie like he had said he that Shirley hated violence.

Inara then started to laugh again; almost doubling over. Willie blinked for a few seconds until he realized exactly how stupid that reason was and started laughing along with her.

"Hey, do you need some training?" Willie asked. "Why do you ask?" Inara asked him tilting her head to the side; her eyes narrowing slightly. "Because you got your ass handed to you by a level two Sue; and I had to save you, Miss Damsel in Distress." Inara glared at him.

"I am no Damsel in Distress! Messing up on your first mission doesn't do that. Everyone screws up on their first mission. Plus, you're girlier than I am, Disney Boy." Inara glared at him. "In fact, I bet I can kick your ass!"

"You're on!" Willie shouted. As of this point they were both pissed off at each other. Way to go, Willie, you're a douche.

Luckily, for the two, who wanted to fight more than was probably good for them, the room they were in was pretty big and had hardly any furniture.

"Looks like I'll get some recompense for you spying on me!" Willie said while entering a traditional, "come and get me," pose.

"We'll see, Disney Boy!" Inara retorted, drawing her leg back in preparation for a charge.

"Then let's begin," he said, immediately running forward and punching her right in the stomach! However, Inara just grunted a bit.

"Is that the best you got?" she said snidely, before lifting her leg and planting a kick right his chest, sending him flying backwards. However, he merely dug his feet in and toppled head over heels, avoiding a hard collision with the wall.

"Heh, you're not much better. Try this on for size!" At that, Willie jumped into the air, descending with his foot first a la Boot to the Head, but was blocked by Inara bringing her hands up above her head, which slowed the strike enough to make it near painless. However, Willie just used her head as a stepping stone and leaped off, landing lightly and turning his torso toward her, only for her to turn around first.

"Try this!" she said, before pulling her arm back and launching it with a cry of, "I AM A MAN!" Willie just jumped out of her reach, causing her to be caught off balance and nearly fall over.

"Okay, I'm not even going to begin to explain why you can't use that line. However, let me give you some advice!" Willie said before running forward and planting a kick on her jaw. "Never attempt to punch someone who can get away!" he continued as Inara fell over on her back, groaning in pain.

"I suppose that's it," he said, turning around and sighing about the short duration of the fight, when he heard the sound of breathing right behind him. He turned quickly, and was shocked to see Inara standing up!

"And here's a lesson to you. Never turn your back on a dangerous opponent!" she said, before punching him with all her might. Unfortunately for her he caught the punch and hit her in the jaw; knocking her down. She takes a lot of abuse there.

The punch didn't keep her down for long though and Inara was back up in a flash. She kneed Willie in the stomach which pushed him back a bit. Before he could recover Inara kicked him in the face, knocking him down.

"You give?" Inara asked; crouching slightly in case the spar continued. "Yeah, yeah, I give." Willie rubbed his face where Inara's foot had connected. That patch of skin was already starting to turn an ugly purple.

"How did I get my ass kicked by a thirteen year old?" Willie mumbled under his breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Can you speak up?" Inara's smirk had grown to the point that it was almost psychotic. Willie just made a noise and averted his eyes.

Inara stuck her tongue out at him and leaned against a nearby wall. She coughed lightly and took a drink from the water bottle that had appeared from… somewhere.

"I have just one question: Why the AT4W quote?" Willie asked;,confused. Inara shrugged. "I felt like it and the Author wanted me to." As expected, the Fourth Wall broke. As per routine Adrian was shouting, Aster was being blamed, Tyler triggered a booby trap, and Ben took the opportunity to nuke something.

"So, why do you never really talk to anyone? I never do, but I'm new." Inara said looking at Willie with blatant curiosity. Willie just made a noise and looked away. "I heard you used to belong to some other organization; does it have anything to do with that? You don't have to tell me if you don't really want to though." Inara looked down at her feet, her shoulders slumping slightly.

"Nah, I'll tell you. It's not like you won't hear it later anyway. But sit down; it's a bit of a long one."

-

Insert Multichapter Flashback......... HERE!

-

"What is taking them so long?" Willie said to himself as he stretched out on his bed. "He said that it shouldn't take long to pinpoint the location of the next artifact, but it's been weeks now!" he complained, turning to lay on his side with a scowl. His eyes flickered around the room, looking at the black bookcase, black carpet, black chairs and black desk. Basically everything in his room was black, with the exception of the ceiling, which was a blood-red. Tasteless, yes, but very fitting. He sighed to himself. "Going on missions may be fun, but playing good boy with these idiots is starting to drive me mad," he said, sighing again as he did so. At that moment, his pocket began vibrating, with a few bars of a special theme playing. He immediately perked up, grabbed his phone out of his pocket, and put it to his ear. "You've finally found it?"

"Why yes, my little assassin. Why so shocked?" a strange voice answered. It was practically impossible to discern how the voice sounded, as it kept distorting with every word it spoke. "Did you think that I would let you down?"

"Heh, kinda," Willie replied, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. He then sat up on the bed and got a malicious grin. "So, where is it?"

"That's the best part!" the voice exclaimed. "It's in the Super Paper Mario fandom!" it continued, joy incredibly obvious in its tone.

"Ah, a place near and dear to your heart. How long will it be before Tash contacts me?" Willie replied, getting up out of bed and walking to a chair.

"Right now. Good luck!" the voice said before cutting off. Willie then heard a knocking at the door.

"Coming!" Willie said, hastily putting his phone in his pocket as he walked to the door and opened it, revealing Tash standing there. "To what do I owe this honor?"

"There's a Sue in the Super Paper Mario fandom and you seem to be the one best familiar with it. Can you go immediately?" she asked, looking over the room with a frown.

"Sure thing. After all, the longer we wait, the worse off the fandom becomes, right?" Willie asked, smirking, before pulling out his Plothole Generator, opening a portal and leaping right through it, leaving Tash to close the door and walk off bemused.

-





Moments later, in front of the magnificent structure of Castle Bleck, Willie jumped out of the opening Plothole and landed foot first before going off-balance and falling to the ground as the Plothole vanished. Willie quickly got back up and brushed down his white uniform.

"Okay, next time I practice before doing a move like that," he grumbled, before looking up at the castle and smirking. "So this is where my next target is? Let's see what the deal is," he said, before pulling out his cell phone and scrolling through his options. "Let's see…contacts, murder tips, artifact checklist…ah, here we go! Sue Information!" he exclaimed, safe in the knowledge of the diluted field being projected into the monitor room. His organization had covered all the bases.

"Alright then, what has this Sue done?" he mused, before selecting the Sue Information feature of his phone and reading what came up. "Hmm, apparently her name is Princess Beautiful Magical Mysterious Super Deity Maria PB. Luigi, and she comes from Sammer's Kingdom…? Okay, moving on. Only person in world with teleportation abilities… parents killed by ninjas…escaped before tragic destruction of Sammer's Kingdom and all in it, including protagonists… got the Pure Hearts and challenged Count Bleck… turned him and minions to good… is now marrying Dimentio?" he said, his frustration growing with each bit of text he read. "Why the nerve of this bitch! I ought to…wait," he said, his eyes widening. "She's marrying Dimentio?" he whispered, before his angry frown turned into a grin, and he began laughing with all his might. "The poor stupid Sue just dug her own grave!" he shouted, still laughing like mad as he ran through the castle doors and began slaughtering all in his path.


-

"Oh Maria!" Willie blared, hacking through the Sue-created Koopatrols guarding the door to the bride's room like a deranged butcher. "It's me, your friendly psychopathic arresting officer! Let's have a few rounds before I bring you in!" he exclaimed gleefully, kicking open the doors to her magnificent suite. It had been easy making his way through the "monsters" filling the palace. When Maria, in her kindness, had returned all of Bowser's former minions to their own universe, she had created stronger monsters of her own to take their place. However, "stronger" monsters were still no match for Willie's sword, as they had no preparation for the maniac that he was. He looked around the room, his eyes practically glowing with sadistic glee. The room was pure white, covered with figures of angels and filled with majestic treasures from many worlds, gifts from the grateful public to their soon to be queen. Maria herself was standing in the middle, wearing a beautiful form fitting white dress. Her hair, golden and stunning, fell in soft waves down her back, stopping at her feet. Her eyes were a limpid blue, and her skin was as pale and pure as new fallen snow, contrasted by her blood-red lips.

"Hello, Willie. I've been waiting for you," she said, her voice so rich that it would have sent lesser men into waves of ecstasy. Unfortunately for her, Willie was not a lesser man.

"Oh you have, have you? Then I suppose you know what's going to happen next?" he replied, lifting his black blade, bright red now from the massive amounts of blood coating it.

"Oh, I believe I do. You're going to hit me with that 'Revelation of Truth' attack you like so much, turn me ugly, and then stab or prohibit me while I'm bemoaning the loss of my looks. Luckily for me, I know I'm pure on the inside and as such you changing my appearance will have no-" she said, before being cut off by Willie, of all things, laughing. In fact, not just laughing, practically cackling, much to her surprise and anger. "Hey! What's so funny?" she shouted, her face going red with rage.

"Oh, you're too cute, Maria. You honestly think that I use such amateur tricks on you?" he said, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.

"Amateur… what are you talking about? That's what you've done in every mission that you've gone on! I've researched!" she exclaimed, eyes blazing.

"Oh you poor deluded fool. That style was a cover up, just a trick to keep those Society dimwits from guessing how powerful I really am," he said, before sheathing his sword and then pulling off the glove he wore on his right hand, exposing the strange symbol upon it. He held his hand up for Maria to witness. "Recognize this?"

Maria strained to get a closer look, and then sighed. "Oh god one of those," she said, a frown forming on her features.

"Yes," Willie said, smiling brightly. "This is a top grade magical seal, best in the business. I might not have a huge amount of power to keep sealed up, but I have enough to require something to prevent suspicion. And now you will-" Willie said, before he stopped in shock. Maria wasn't, as he expected, gasping in shock or standing paralyzed in fear. She was just shaking her head and sighing. "Um...why aren't you despairing at the thought of my power? Hikaru just took one look at this seal and she couldn't take it," he said, his eyes baring a confused look.

Maria just kept shaking her head, before looking back up at Willie. "Typical," she said, "Absolutely typical. A little extra power and you think that makes you king of the world. Well let me tell you something, you'd better Sue-proof your doors, because you are definitely Stu material."

Willie looked as though he was choking. "What did you say?" he asked, although it came out more as a strangled gasp.

"I said you're Stu material, didn't you hear me the first time?" Maria replied, her voice practically dripping snark. "I mean look at you. You're all brawn and no brains. Don't you live with a resident magic master who would recognize that seal the moment he saw it? One slip-up with that glove, and your cover would've been blown. And take a look at that outfit," she continued, gesturing to his bloodstained outfit. "Murdering in all white? I don't think so. And doesn't the Society usually watch missions?" she asked.

"Um, yes but… but I have a rerouter system in place!" Willie shouted futilely, trying to make himself look good again. "They'll never notice a thing because they're not seeing the real picture!"

"Yes, but what happens if a techie gets wind of this? Wouldn't someone notice the mainframe's been hacked into? Face it, you're so confident in your power that you forgot some major details, and as such fail. Any day now, someone will break into your frequency and see everything you've been hiding, and then your 'evil plan' will fall completely apart," Maria said, her eyes glinting in triumph.

Willie just stood there for a moment, dumbfounded. Then, to Maria's surprise, he smiled. "Well done. For a Sue, you definitely have a brain on you. I suppose it was too much to hope that no one would notice, but it does feel good to be able to open up to someone," he said softly, his seal starting to pulse.

"Huh? What are you-wait. That energy signature…" she whispered, her eyes beginning to widen as everything finally dawned on her. "You mean…?"

"Yes," he replied, before something strange happened. Although he didn't physically change, he suddenly got an aura of handsomeness and mystery that if anyone else was in the room, would have made them want to worship him. "There's no point in sending me offers, because I'm already a member," he finished, his face contorting into a wicked grin.

"But-but-but, how? How isn't the Society noticing you?" she asked, her eyes actually somewhat fearful.

"It's quite simple actually," Willie replied, before pointing to the still pulsating seal. "This seal may contain much of my magical power, but I'm not the strongest magician, certainly not strong enough to warrant a seal of this caliber. No, the main purpose of this seal is to contain my Suergy, or at least enough of it to escape detection."

"That shouldn't work! That seal is meant to contain magic, not a wavelength!" Maria shouted, with the fact that a Stu was not only in the Society, but still against her causing her anger to go through the roof.

"That's why my organization chose me. I'm only a measly Level 2, so the seal contains enough of my Suergy to protect me. I still come off as somewhat Stuish, but it's a small price to pay. And now you know why the rerouter system will remain working. It's charged with just a bit of Suergy, not much, but just enough to prevent those Society idiots from figuring it out until it's too late," he said, before making a slight gesture with his right hand. At that moment, the mysterious D-Pistol appeared, and Willie aimed at the quivering Maria. "And now that you know everything, I'm afraid I have to kill you. No hard feelings," he said, before firing the gun. The bullet shot forward at an unnatural speed, before piercing Maria right in the throat. She released a gargled scream, before collapsing. Within seconds, her body dissolved completely, leaving behind a magnificent bracelet, pure gold and inlaid with jewels, with the centerpiece being one with the image of a tongue on it.

Willie smiled in satisfaction as he dismissed the gun and walked over to the bracelet, but stopped short of picking it up. "I know you're there, clone. Come out now," he said, before turning around. There, standing behind him, was the quivering figure of Dimentio, his ever present grin gone. "You pathetic piece of crap. How could you let a measly Sue like that overtake your defenses!" he shouted, causing Dimentio to draw back in fear.

"She caught me off guard. Please, spare me!" Dimentio pleaded, his eyes quivering with fright.

"Don't plead to me, plead to your master," Willie replied, before he heard a strange sound behind him. It sounded like the universe folding in on itself, and then unfolding. He grinned at the sound. "Looks like the time to plead is now. Better make it good," he said, before stepping to the side to reveal a familiar darkly colored jester.

"Well now, what do you have to say for yourself?" the second Dimentio asked, his voice distorting after ever word.

"I, I don't know. She surprised me, entering the fandom before I could realize and casting her lure. I couldn't do anything about it!" the first Dimentio whined, hoping that his master would take pity. He got the answer to that seconds later, as his body was obliterated by a starburst of magic.

"That is the price for failure," the second, and original, Dimentio said, before sighing. "I need to start making these clones more durable, that one went down like a house of cards before a mighty wind!" he said, before turning to Willie. "I'm guessing you were successful," he continued, before his grin widened as Willie picked up the Bracelet and handed it to him.

"Here you go. One step closer to the plans completion," Willie said, his Suergy aura vanishing into the seal as he spoke, leaving him looking completely normal once more.

"Yes. We'll begin looking for the next treasure as soon as I return. Keep up the good work, my little assassin. And here, a present from me to you," he said, before waving his hand. In an instant, the glove reappeared on Willie's hand, and the blood vanished from his clothes. "Can't have the Society figuring out who you are while we need their dimensional access. I've also refreshed the anti-snag enchantments on the glove," he continued, the distorted voice ringing with glee.

"Thank you, Master. I'll be awaiting news on the next artifact," he said, before bowing, and repeating the ceremony he had done when leaving the Library, leaving Dimentio alone in the quickly fading bridal suite.

"It's so hard to find good help these days," Dimentio sighed. "Ah well, clones are clones. It will be a shame when I have to kill Willie. Trained assassins are hard to find, but I can't have any Sues clogging my perfect worlds," he muttered, before vanishing as well, leaving his home fandom behind to heal.

Insert Ridiculous Name + A Vampire Here

Princess Ruby Sapphire Emerald Heartgold walked through the halls humming 'Dancing in a Velvet Moon'. It had been only two weeks since she had come to Yokai Academy and befriended Tsukune before defeating The Yokai Academy Protection Committee. She had defeated them all easily without having a hair out of place, looking like beauty incarnate all the while. She was so beautiful and powerful that even Inner Moka asked Ruby to train her. Those two weeks had felt like two years to the poor remaining readers and they were just pulling out the last of their hair when the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society found her. Cut them a break, they've been really busy lately. Besides she's only a level two Sue, right?

Transition

A girl was lounging on a couch alone in the Library, looking utterly bored. There were no explosions or chaos, which was a little unsettling. I mean, this is the Library Arcanium for crying out loud. Things had been somewhat quiet since Adrian's return. The person, whose name here is Inara by the way, looked around thirteen or so, she was pretty tall. Inara had been in the Library for a while, keeping to herself and reading books. She was pretty shy and almost everyone in the Society was older than her, making it a bit hard to actually make more than a few vowel sounds before ducking away. She blew a few strands of her short brownish hair out of her face, when an alarm rang out. About time something was loud and hopefully chaotic.

Inara fell off the couch at the sudden noise, blinking in surprise. Though she quickly picked herself up and began to run toward the meeting room. After the flying spatulas on Monday she had quickly given up on any real sense or reason. Why it took her that long to give up on them was anyone's guess. The alarm really wasn't surprising at all, she was just new. Then when she was running, vainly trying to look somewhat cool she tripped over a book lying on the ground. Did I forget to mention she zones out a lot? Yeah, this won't end well.

Time Skiiiiip

She stumbled into the room just as Tash began to speak. "Does anyone here know the Rosario+Vampire fandom?" Tash asked, checking the room for raised hands. Most of the agents were there. Minus the ones who were lazy, busy, lost, or treating injuries from Shirley. One of the few that were missing was the rookie, Inara. It really wasn't a good sign that she was already late. Seriously, it was only the first actual briefing while she was here.

Inara, still out of breath from running, raised her hand. An inhaler is probably a wise investment if that little run winded her. She was the only one with her hand up in the air. It had taken five minutes to run to the briefing room from the other side of the Library, seriously. The journey to the briefing room had been kind of messy, involving several dead ends and bits of getting lost. There was even a Scooby Doo-style chase with Shirley. The ones with a long hallway and about 20 doors to nowhere. Not to mention almost getting eaten by a few copies of the Monster Book of Monsters. Why would anyone in their right mind leave those lying around? Then there was trap that Adrian had set for his chocolate that Inara blundered through. She doesn't even like chocolate.

"Okay, you can take the mission, it's a level two Sue," Tash replied wondering if that was a good idea, the girl was only thirteen and, frankly, she looked like a wimp. Like the kind of girl that would be dodging any and all work, especially work involving physical labor. Inara barely heard what Tash was saying because she got hyper over finally getting a mission said had already run from the room. Inara would finally get to prove that she could do something! Hopefully she wouldn't screw up too badly. Which you know she will. Society law, sort of.

It really didn't look very impressive that she was already late, out of breath, and an angry Shirley in the distance. Inara's eyes narrowed in somewhat heroic determination and she ran faster, promising herself that she wouldn't fail. Inara grabbed her Plothole Generator from her belt and firing it. It opened up a portal and you could see a cemetery in anime style on the other side. She jumped through the pretty, slightly swirling, energy without a pause, or even a monologue.

"I am so glad I practiced that." Inara thought as she landed in the cemetery. A cold wind blew through the cemetery and sent a chill down her spine. The kind of chill that's often described as "someone walking over your grave". And she's in a cemetery. The tombstones were cracked and old, most of the inscriptions almost faded away. Inara frowned as she saw one that she could have sworn said "Amelia Earhart".

Her boots sank into the soft cemetery ground and she realized that she was already on her sixth costume change since her request to join the Society. She was wearing a cut off jacket over her Society t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and boots. The jeans were dark blue, the rest of the ensemble black. The earth was soft and slightly damp and Inara quickly shuffled out of the cemetery. Way too many people had been captured there, or killed, or seriously injured. Inara thought she heard something moving and paused for a second, her muscles automatically tensing for a fight.

She wildly whipped her head around and tried to remember if there were any mentions of zombies in this cemetery. She shook her head and ran along the path, luckily knowing exactly where she was. How convenient. Her footsteps were muffled by the soft ground as she ran down the path that led to the school where most of the important stuff in the series took place.

Soon Yokai Academy came into view. It was old, covered in vines, with cracked walls. It would surprise no one who saw the building if the school was haunted. No normal human would ever like to step foot in that building. Naturally, monsters and demons loved it, except for the Math. Inara walked up to the school, looking at the windows, completely forgetting that she actually had something important to do here. Then she remembered what she was supposed to do and asked herself, "Now, back when I wrote Sues where would I have them go? Oh yeah, the main characters. I totally didn't forget."

Transition

"Ten bucks on her fangirling and wiping out" Ben challenged Drake. It was a pretty slow day in the Society, only two people were on missions. Inara's mission was showing on a nice large screen in a room the Library had thoughtfully provided for some people who wanted to watch. Some were watching out boredom, some out of curiosity, and one or two out of an odd combination of the two. The room was medium sized and had some soft and comfy looking seats.

"Most of the fandom's main characters are girls kyaa~" Aster pointed out, wondering if anyone had actually done research on what the fandom was about, just in case. Really, it could have been what was supposed to be Blacklist and no one would know. Aster had been in the manga section in the Library and the Sue was weak any way, Inara could probably handle it. Probably. Ben sighed, looking disappointed. There went his ten bucks, and he had wanted that new game. Oh well, he could find other things to do, and hopefully not get put in the infirmary by Shirley for a little while. He didn't want a reserved bed in there.

"How many people joined up while I was dead?" Adrian asked, looking slightly confused. Things had been rather hectic following his revival, people had to readjust and the Society had grown. Boy had it grown. Things sometimes became confusing, but everything was almost back to normal. People were already taking bets on when the next trench coat would go.

Tash wrote things down on clipboard, not responding. Even though the mission had just started, and what was with the clipboard anyway? She clicked her pen and frowned, her gut was telling her that something was wrong but she brushed it off as simple pessimism and looked up at where Inara had jumped out of the plothole. Hopefully the rookie would be able to handle it.

Transition

Inara had the Prohibitor in her left hand and her quill in her right. She would have another Prohibitor in her pocket, but she had forgotten it on top of her DS. She carefully scanned the school grounds, determined to do well and earn her spot in the Society. She walked into the school, deciding that's where the most canon characters would be, and therefore the safest bet for finding Ruby. The halls were much nicer than the outside; apparently a clean environment was necessary for school. Who'd have thought? It was going to be hard to find the Sue, the main characters would be dangerous to run into, and she didn't have any refined skills for tracing energy.

From somewhere a bell rang and students flooded the halls. Somehow not a single student noticed she wasn't one of them. She would pin it on the fact that she was a Self-Insert and had some very basic, don't notice me abilities. Or they thought she was new and didn't have a uniform.

Either way it let Inara easily move around in the crowd and overhear gossip and who the "mysterious beautiful girl" liked to hang out. Inara's eye was twitching uncontrollably after hearing almost every student fawn over the Sue like she was a goddess. But soon, not soon enough for Inara, everyone filed into their respective classes. Inara sighed and walked towards stairs leading upward.

Inara carefully made her way up to the roof of the school, looking around curiously, resisting the urge to fangirl out and find Moka. Ruby had been in the fandom for a while and could have done pretty much anything she wanted. Inara sighed and cracked her knuckles, mentally preparing herself for the inevitable beating.

When Inara reached to roof of the school she saw a girl standing there with her back facing Inara and her long golden hair flowing in the light breeze. Inara made herself known by calling out "Princess Ruby Sapphire Emerald Heartgold, in the name of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society I place you under arrest for fandom manipulation, causing OOCness, disregarding canon, and making Inner Moka look weak."

Ruby turned around and launched herself at Inara without a sound. Inara's eyes widened and she went into a defensive stance, bringing her quill up in front of her. It glowed and changed into a sharp dagger. Inara ducked and cut Ruby's side before whipping around and slashing Ruby's back. Ruby didn't react to the cuts or the blood pouring out of her wounds, just whirling around to face Inara. Ruby attacked again, landing a kick on Inara's stomach that pushed the rookie off balance and winded her, pushing Inara toward the edge of the roof.

Inara smacked into the railing and glared at Ruby. The newbie recovered, intent avoiding being hit again at all costs. Ruby apparently had no actual training and no super-powerful fighting technique, which was nice. But Inara worried and wangsted over how Ruby should be more powerful than this, completely forgetting for a few seconds that someone was trying to kill her. Inara's horridly timed internal monologue was cut short by Ruby, you know, punching her.

Inara dodged to the side and hit Ruby in the side with a roundhouse kick. Probably not the smartest decision she's ever made. But Ruby grabbed Inara's leg and pulled her closer. Ruby's hand moved so quickly it couldn't be seen and when it stopped it was at Inara's throat, slowly choking the life out of the totally screwed unfortunate rookie. Somehow Inara was still able to think in actual sentences even though she was being killed. Though it didn't really help her considering that pretty much all that was going through her head was "Oh dear God she's going to kill me." Inara dropped her dagger and grabbed her Prohibitor out of her pocket, where she had put it at some point, but Ruby smacked it out of Inara's hand and crushed it beneath her foot.

Inara dropped her left hand down to her belt and pulled a small knife from her left pocket and stabbed it into Ruby's wrist, forcing the Sue to let go. Inara swept Ruby's legs out from under her and Inara grabbed her dagger. Then Inara pounced on top of Ruby and held her dagger to the Sues throat. This action however brought to light the problem "How to get a powerful Mary Sue back to the Library with no Prohibitor". Ruby was obviously stronger than the rookie and Inara had only a weapon, no special powers. Ruby began to violently struggle, cutting her own throat a bit against the dagger.

Inara frowned and began to think, again. She really needs a lesson in timing. But something about Ruby's behavior was weird; a person's base instinct is to keep them self alive. And the little fact that there hadn't been any banter. Banter was normal with Sues because their egos were so large. Ruby had said nothing, nothing. Inara steeled herself and slit the Sues throat.

The rookie agent jumped off Ruby, showing surprising agility for someone turning purple from bruises. She dropped to the ground carefully scrutinizing Ruby's body for a little while before something odd started to happen; Ruby was dissolving. So began the internal monologue.

"That's why she was weaker, she was a clone. I almost died from a weaker clone. F**k… Why do I censor myself in my head?" Inara looked at what remained of the supposed clone. The slightly shaken and worried would-be agent slowly stood up and changed her dagger back into its quill form before walking back to the door she had come through.

Transition and Time Skiiiiip

The would-be agent sank down to the floor of an empty hallway and winced. Her back, legs, and throat were all just patches of pain, and Inara had no healing powers whatsoever. Pain was just another thing to add to her list of problems right above "lack of powers" and under "the Sue knew she was coming and was prepared".

Inara reached into her pocket hoping the bottle of water from a healing spring in Xanth was there, and not sitting on her DS back in the Library right next to her other Prohibitor. She then glared at her pocket and resolved to never forget anything again. Of course there's no point as she will forget that vow in about six seconds.

Then footsteps were heard down the hall. A girl with light blue hair in a ponytail that reached he shoulders, named Kurumu Kurono, walked closer to where Inara was sitting. She's one of the main characters in the Rosario+Vampire fandom and could easily cut your average human in half.

Before Inara could move Kurumu was standing in front of her. Then Kurumu did the something weird, she smiled and said "One of you came here. Finally, she's really starting to get annoying!" After exposition and a conversation that may or may not be told later Inara learned that Kurumu knew that the Society existed. She had actually been waiting for someone to show up and take care of Ruby. Really.

"How do you even know all of this?" Inara asked. "Oh, I break the Fourth Wall a ton in the anime, with a Mary Sue running around things have been so crazy that fourth Wall breaking copied over to manga-me." Kurumu answered, waving a hand dismissively. She smiled at the younger girl.

"Now come on," the blue haired teen said, grabbing Inara's arm, "we need to get you a uniform so you won't stand out so much. And some bandages. Probably some painkillers too." Kurumu dragged her to an empty infirmary. Why Kurumu was out of class and the infirmary was empty no one shall ever know.

They quickly commandeered a uniform and some bandages. No one really cared about what the two girls wanted so it was really easy to get them. Soon Inara looked like a student. Who had picked a fight with a semi. So, pretty noticeable. "Has Ruby made any advances on Tsukune?" Inara asked as Kurumu was putting the spare bandages away.

The blue haired teen started, almost dropping the bandages. She put them down and turned to the rookie sitting on a hospital bed and asked "Why did you ask that?" "The only other reason you would be so helpful to me is if they were hurting your friends, and from what I can tell that isn't happening." Inara pointed out, really any fan could.

"She is trying to date Tsukune. But more important than that is she's somehow making Moka weaker and weaker. If this carries on one of my friends could get really hurt." Kurumu said. Her eyes were downcast and she looked very worried.

Kurumu's shoulders sagged slightly and her knuckles whitened. "Alright," Inara said, pushing herself off the bed and wincing slightly as her feet hit the floor, "let's find her, incapacitate her, and get out so the writer doesn't have to strain over your character anymore." "What does incapacitate mean?" Kurumu asked, blushing lightly and looking irritated that she even had to ask.

Inara put her things in a convenient schoolbag and the two girls walked out of the infirmary. They walked around checking in the windows of a few classes before seeing what was probably another clone outside doing gym. They walked over to the woods side so people were less likely to notice them and ask why the heck they were not in class.

Clones are apparently what is considered the truth now. And of course Clone?Ruby was perfect at everything even though she was almost surely a clone. Clone?Ruby's hair flowed beautifully down her back and her captivating blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight.

Inara's eye twitched as she tightened his grip on her quill, this was enough, now Clone?Ruby had the narrator doing it! Ruby flounced over to where the teacher was standing, handed him something, and walked over to where Kurumu and Inara were. Her face was completely blank while she raised her hand up. It started glowing and Inara and Kurumu's eyes widened. They ducked out of the way as a small bolt of energy shot out of Clone?Ruby's hand.

Kurumu and Inara looked at where the bolt had hit and saw nothing but a very large scorch mark and some ashes. "Err, I'll take the role of Captain Obvious here and say we should probably not get hit with one of those." Inara said, looking to have at least three different levels of worried running through her head. Kurumu wisely ignored Inara and extended her nails into full-blown claws and dashed at Clone?Ruby.

Clone?Ruby blasted another bolt of energy at Kurumu and the heroine barely ducked in time to avoid having a new air hole in her head. Clone?Ruby threw a strait punch at Kurumu and Kurumu barely dodged it to get in her own cut. Ruby taking care of all the villains had deprived the girls of training and experience necessary for them to be badass. Inara held out her quill and it glowed, this time it changed into a sword that had a blade style like Benihime.

Kurumu added a wound to Clone?Ruby's growing injury count and kept up dodging and landing small cuts. This kept Clone?Ruby's attention on her and Inara was able to dash in from behind and land a huge hit on Clone?Ruby's back. Clone?Ruby hit Inara with a weaker energy bolt that sent the girl crashing into a tree. Of course this was a double distraction that let Kurumu slash off Clone?Ruby's head.

"How many clones do you think there'll be before we find the real one?" Inara asked not even slightly disturbed at a dissolving corpse on the ground. Kurumu shrugged and asked a very, very good question, "Isn't your Society supposed to be about crack?" Inara clearly ignored Kurumu, probably because she had no actual good answer. Typical.

Inara walked away from the clone's dissolving body and back to the wooded area in the school. Kurumu followed, though she spared the body a second glance. "Aw, you killed them both? I thought a little girl would have some more respect for life." The person who spoke it was Ruby, a real one this time. She actually had some semblance of thought. Ruby glared at Inara and Kurumu before smirking in a horribly annoying way before jumping backward and disappearing.

Inara growled in anger and ran after the Sue. Yeah, that's right, she growled. Inara was obviously very pissed off and anyone who got in her way had to have a death wish. She was angry because of fandom corruption and the Sues own arrogance. Oh, and if you somehow forgot about the clones trying to kill her, Inara was pissed about that too.

But finding Ruby was proving to be hard. Not Carmen Sandiego hard, but definitely irritating. Inara burst through a classroom door and Ruby smirked, just running out a conveniently placed exit door. Inara ran after her, Kurumu was running canon character interference. Ruby ducked into a side door and Inara got a bad feeling that this was some kind of trap or something.

But the rookie did something completely genre blind and ignored that feeling. The hallway was dark, damp, and cramped. Basically, if you don't have to go down there don't go down there. Of course this is just dragging down the plot and nothing important happens, so I'll skip it for you.

When the plot resumes Inara is standing in an old doorway with an open door leading out. Clouds covered the area and a chilling wind was blowing. Inara looked around and saw Ruby standing a few meters away. Inara started thinking her actions through carefully, so she didn't screw up. But Ruby began a villain speech and that's more important at the moment.

"You can't possibly triumph, you're just a human with a weapon, not even close to we Sues, godlike beings. Our numbers will continue to swell while yours decline from death and simple realization that you won't win. I am perfect you are flawed, though you are close enough that if you made one toe out of line and you are one of us. We've killed one of your best people before and next time we'll get rid of you all." At this point Inara just got so annoyed she couldn't stand it anymore a just punched Ruby.

Ruby was visibly furious that even one tiny scratch marred her 'perfect face'. She reached up to her neck and grabbed her cross shaped necklace. Any fan of the series could easily tell you that things are about to get ugly, fast. A huge light shot up around Ruby and a huge, deadly aura swelled around her. The light quickly faded away and standing there was a completely different girl.

She had red eyes and hair, not to mention that she actually looked like she could take someone in a fight. She was taller and prettier than Ruby had been, with a dark edge to her. Inara looked at her blankly. Then the sucker poor sap girl spoke up, her tone deadpan and mocking "Wow, your only power up was to steal Moka's big plot device. Nice."

The red haired woman, judging from what Inara was saying, was an eviler Ruby. Let's just call her Yami Ruby, to keep things simple. Yami Ruby smirked at Inara, blurred out of sight, and reappeared right behind the rookie. "You have no idea what you're dealing with." Yami Ruby whispered into Inara's ear. If you didn't get it, she was creepy.

Inara jabbed her elbow back but Yami Ruby was already gone. Inara whipped her head around, frantically trying to find Yami Ruby. The next moment she felt a pain to her stomach and was hitting a tree. With her body. Yeah, not fun. It was pretty obvious she was unprepared and had no chance of winning against Yami Ruby. Inara froze as she saw Yami Ruby standing there twirling a Plothole Generator around her finger. Inara's Plothole Generator.

At this point I am forced by the author to not include the cursing that Inara did at this point. Something about an image and respect. "That's quite a mouth on you; I didn't even recognize one of those languages." Yami Ruby said, smashing the Plothole Generator in her hand. Inara's eyes filled with pure fury "Hungarian." she spat out as she began to detach herself and think clearly. Good luck with that. Yami Ruby actually made a clever decision as a villain and attacked Inara so she wouldn't be able to, you know, think. Unfortunately for Inara, making sure she wouldn't think involved Inara being in pain. Probably a lot of it.

Snap! Yami Ruby had dashed forward and grabbed Inara's left arm before snapping it. As the sound effect told you. Yami Ruby pushed the girl to the ground and smirked. Killing a Society Agent, even a rookie, made you look very good in the Sue world. But before Yami Ruby could hurt Inara again she was thankfully interrupted by purple-black flames that seemed to come from nowhere. A boy walked out from behind a tree and grinned. It wasn't a nice grin; it was the look a cat gave a mouse right before it moved in for the kill.

Yami Ruby glared at the boy and said "Willie, isn't it? Nice timing, I can kill both of you Society losers an-"She was cut off by Willie running forward and stabbing one of his ever-present razors into her stomach. He smiled as he sharply ripped it out. Yami Ruby's blood spattered the ground in a nice pattern. It made you think of corpses. Willie then went completely awesome and incinerated Yami Ruby's head with Hellfire.

Well that was fun and I'm glad to be done and be getting my paycheck, oh wait, I've still got a few more minutes on the clock. Willie tossed his Plothole generator to Inara as she sat there wondering what just happened. She just shook her head and reminded herself that logic had no place in the Society, at least that she could see. She fired the Plothole Generator and the two stepped into the Library, Inara wincing as her left arm brushed against a bookcase. I had completely forgotten that that was messed up.

Inara looked back and Willie had disappeared. Inara was frowning in confusion when Valerie and Tash walked up to the injured girl and asked her if she was alright. Valerie looked at Inara's arm and Tash said "Congratulations, you went up against a stronger Sue than you should face at this point and came out alive. Here." Tash was holding out a Society badge and waiting for Inara to take it. "Are you sure I deserve this? I completely screwed up." Inara asked, acting like way too many other newbies had.

"Well, for one you are still alive, and two you didn't completely lose your head once you got into the fandom. That's pretty much all we ask, usually not even that much." Tash pointed out. Inara smiled at Tash and took the badge. "Thanks," Inara said "and can you tell me where Willie, was it, is? I need to thank him for sparing me death, a training montage, and an annoying subplot." "Here we go," Valerie said, grabbing Inara's arm. She counted to three and jerked the arm back into place "OW!"

Transition

Somewhere else

Two girls and a dark figure were standing in the middle of a small clearing. One girl had golden hair, the other silver. "And you swear to honor this agreement?" The golden haired girl asked a slightly mistrusting look in her eye. "Of course," The dark figure said and looked over to the silver haired girl. "And what is your decision?" The girl looked around like someone was going to jump out of the shadows to get her. I wish. "No, I have a feeling that this is gonna end bad." She walked away and tried not to shiver. The dark figure creeped her out.

"I'm no coward!" The gold haired girl said. "Good, soon you will get revenge. And we will rule." The dark figure and the girl laughed; a laugh that sent a chill down nearby animals' spines and should send a chill down yours. Ah, nothing can warm my heart like evil laughter from crazy people. The silver haired girl frowned and opened a plothole. She hoped they got what they deserved for being dumb. Now to figure out how to turn on her TV.