Insert Dramatic Finale Here (part 1 of 3)

Tyler examined the Sues and Stus currently occupying the basement. There weren't many of them-most of the longer-standing Sues and Stus were atoms on the wind now-but there still appeared to be a need for a basement monitor.

Tyler flashed the Sues and Stus an evil grin, and began speaking.

"At the moment, I have been assigned to stare at you all as if you were capable of escaping. The Prohibitors on your wrists have been specially modified to shock you should you cross the threshold of your cell."
This was a lie-the Prohibitors were completely normal-but it had the effect that Tyler wanted. A Stu edging toward his cell door yelped and jumped back. Tyler grinned.

"Also, I brought you some Mad-Libs."

He tossed a book and a pencil into the cell. The Sue whose cell they had landed in grabbed them and began reciting parts of speech.

"Noun."

"Chicken."

"No, orangutan!"

"No way! Grape!"

"How about noun?"

As the Sues and Stus argued, Tyler took the opportunity to read a book. He was halfway through when a loud alarm blared. This was normal, but the next announcement wasn't.

"All Agents into the conference room! This is not a drill!"

"You're right, it's a jackhammer."

"YOUR LIVER IS MINE!"

"GAH!"

"Is this thing still on?"

"Right in the middle of the book, too…" Tyler mumbled, running out of the basement to rejoin the world.

OO

"There's a massive amount of Sue energy in this fandom."

Marcus raised a hand. "Higher or lower than the Elementals?"

"Higher. It's probably at least level 8."

Ben raised a hand. "How about Chuck Norris?"

"DIEEEE!"

"Anyway, all of you are going in."

"Out of curiousity-,"

"Yes?"

"What fandom is this?"

"We're not sure. We're not even sure if it's an actual fandom or just a dimension. Either way, it's showing up on our monitors, and it's riddled with Suenergy. Let's go."

OO

Several minutes later, in the fandom, in a cave…

"It seems deserted," Tyler mumbled.

Drake swatted him.

"Don't say that! Any time someone says that, they're doomed!"

"That's just an old author's tale."

"No it's not! Haven't you ever noticed it happening?"

"…No."

"Ay…"

"Oi! You two! Stop potentially getting us killed!"

"Told you."

"Shut up."

SKREEEEEE!

"On the record, I blame you for this."

"Yeah, probably justified."

Something massive dropped from the roof of the cavern, plummeting toward the Society. As everyone scattered, the something skidded to a halt, kicking up a huge cloud of dust. Before anyone could do anything, dozens of tentacles whipped out of the cloud, slashing at the Society. Everyone quickly shifted into whatever combat mode they had. As the dust cloud cleared, something was revealed to be a gigantic bat/squid/jiggimathingy. It's tentacles ended in lethal hooks, and small, unpleasant-looking suckers dotted them.

OO

Jared dodged a tentacle-swipe.

"Chloe!"

"What?"

"Give me the syringe!"

"WHAT?"

"I need to test how they shoved together the DNA of a bat and a squid!"

"WHAT?"

"Just give me the syringe."

"…Here." Chloe tossed a large syringe at Jared.

Jared caught the syringe, and as the tentacle swiped again, he jabbed it with the syringe, extracting a cup of blood. As the syringe filled, the tentacle went pale, shriveled up, and turned to dust.

"Hah! Take that you stupid tentacle!" Jared held the syringe vial to his face.

"Huh. It seems the blood is actively attempting to separate…."

Jared pointed the syringe at the giant bat-squid.

"Eat your own blood, bat-squid-thing!"

The syringe exploded, and glass, a needle, and blood shot at the bat-squid at incredible speed, striking its wing. The bat-thing let out a bellow of agony, leaping into the air. Jared and Chloe darted to one side as the bulk of the bat-squid slammed down where they had been standing a moment ago.

"Boomhammer!"

Jared slammed the Boomhammer onto the bat-squid's gigantic toe. Three seconds passed for comic effect, then…

"!"

The scream of pain echoed throughout the cavern, knocking the entire Society off its feet. The cavern shuddered with the force of the cry, and several rocks dropped to the sandy ground.

"That worked better than expected…"

"Don't mess with nukes!"

All heads turned toward Ben, who was pointing a single finger at the bat-squid. A loud whistling sound echoed through the cave.

"Skree?"

BOOOOOMMMM!

A mushroom cloud erupted around the bat-squid, engulfing it in nuclear flames. The bat-squid let out a loud, screeching cry as nuclear flames engulfed it (and the author let out a loud. screeching cry as his bill from the Department of Redundancy Department grew even higher), its tentacles shriveling and combusting. It took to the sky (the roof of the cave, anyway), slamming into the walls over and over again.

"My eyes…" Tyler mumbled. He had been staring at the bat-squid when the nuke had hit it, and the resulting flare, combined with the semidarkness of the cave, had left imprints on his eyeballs.

" My ears…" Jared mumbled. He had been standing near the bat-squid after its shriek.

"My nose…" Drake mumbled. He had been standing next to the bat-squid when the nuke hit, and the smell was awful.

OO

Meanwhile, on the PCMSPS ship…

"My finger!" A random Uber-Stu screamed. "I jammed my finger!"

The suddenness of the cry startled the nearby Relyt, and so…

"Mih thun! Ih bfith mih thun!"

OO

Far from this random assaultation of the senses…

Retsa was talking to shadows.

Well, not really, but for all the response the listener was giving, she might as well have been. In fact, she was speaking to a man dressed entirely in black. His face was obscured by the shadows that had been mentioned previously.

"Anyway -,"

The man's name was drowned out by a massive explosion.

"As I have said your name, I feel no need to repeat it. Anyway, the Society is attacking. You know what to do."

As Retsa left the room, she gave a deep sigh of relief. She didn't like talking to him. Especially she nobody ever saw his face. A few jokes had been made about his assumed appearance, but they rarely lasted, seeing as they weren't usually funny.

OO

Back in the creepy dude's room….

"So, the Society's on it's way here, huh? Ah well… I was getting tired of these games anyway…."

The man drew a Plothole Generator, generated a Plothole (and a bill), and stepped through it to parts unknown.

OO

Back in the cave…

The bat-squid slammed into the ground, finally dead. All the Society Agents watched in awe.

"That was awesome!"

"Ben, nuke it again and see what happens!"

"I liked the part with the moose!"

"What about the ferris wheel!"

"Eh, that was okay."

"Okay everybody, show's over, let's move!"

The Society moved. The bat-squid was in the way, so they moved again to go around it. Then they moved a third time, towards the end of the cave.

OO

"See, Retsa? I told you that the bat-squid was a bad idea!"

"Oh, shut up, Sirahc. It didn't cost us anything."

"Except 5 dozen Ubers to transport it!"

"Like I said: It didn't cost anything. Why are you complaining anyway? At least we got to watch the show when they nuked it."

"Eh… I suppose so…"

"Exactly. Besides, the bat-squid was only act I. Act II will come when they get to our ship. There we'll destroy them!"

"How do you know? I mean, they beat us last time."

"That was barely, and now that their strongest member's dead, they don't stand a chance against us! Especially not with our new weapon…."

"New weapon?"

"Yes. I had Deraj design it."

"Oh." Sirahc looked irritated. "Why him? I could have done it just as well."

"We need Deraj to be working constantly to keep him from dwelling on the loss of Sue Storm and potentially damaging the ship again."

"Oh."

"Soon, not only will we purify the multiverse, the Society will be out of our way as well!"

Retsa tapped a button on the side of the chair she was sitting in, and recorded evil laughter blared out of speakers that had been strategically placed around the ship, making sure that nobody would miss anything.

"Attention all PCMSPS members, Uber-Sues, Uber-Stus, and vermin that got into the ship despite our best efforts. Man your stations."

Around the ship, each and every PCMSPS member, Uber-Sue, Uber-Stu, and rat stopped whatever they were doing, tensing slightly.

"The Society is coming."

OO

"I still say the flying pinwheels were best!"

"They were okay, but the moose was better."

"You two in the back! Pipe down!"

"We're in a desert with no one around for miles! Who'll hear us?"

"Another bat-squid?"

"Unlikely."

THUMP!

"Am I jinxed today or something?"

"It's a possibili-,"

THUMPTHUMP!

"This can't be good."

THUMPITATHUMPITATHUMP!

"Do we ever catch a break?"

WHUMP!

"Oh."

SHWAKITASHWAKITA-

"SHUT UP WITH THE ONOMATOPOEIAS!"

Fine, fine. Anyway…

A spray of sand arced over a nearby dune.

"What? We just went through one fight scene!"

"The Suenergy level was 8 or higher, did you think one bat-squid was all?"

"Who's talking anyway? The author hasn't really specified voices for a while!" Tash demanded.

A pair of floating mouths quietly vanished.

Tash let out a sigh of annoyance. "Better."

Cristoph raised a hand "Now that we know who was talking, does anyone know what those are?"

"What what are?"

"Those." Cristoph pointed behind Tash, who turned.

"Oh… those."

Dozens of beach-ball sized metal spheres were rolling down the side of the dune.

Tash blinked. "If I had to take a guess… I'd say they were probably robots that got around in the form of beach-ball sized metal spheres."

As each sphere reached the end of the dune, it unfolded into a robot. The robots stood about six feet high, with a single electric eye.

"Battle droids?"

"No, too dangerous-looking."

One of the robots charged forwards. "Rogerrogerrogerrogerroger…"

"Shut up!" Tyler hurled an energy blast into the robot's "Stomach." Said robot folded back into its beach ball form, and then exploded, forming a deep indent in the sand. Another of the beach ball forms rolled into the indent, launching itself into the air…

"Jurai-Ken… Rinwi!" Tash slammed into the beach ball feet first, sending it flying into a group of robot forms. The resulting explosion left a patch of glass in the sand, which slipped up another two beach ball forms, sending them plowing into sand dunes.

Several meters away, Kyle stabbed the Omniweapon, currently in the form of a katana, through a gap in a robot's armor, then jumped away as the robot exploded in a massive fireball. Bits of metal stuck into nearby robots, which also exploded, although less violently. Then he ducked as another robot, in beach-ball form, went flying over his head. He turned to see Drake rubbing the back of his head.

"Sorry!"

OOOOOOO

Up on the PCMSPS ship….

"Since when do we have robots?"

"I dunno, somebody must have built them."

"Yes, but-,"

"OUT!" Retsa charged into the room, brandishing her staff.

The two floating mouths squeaked in fear and vanished again.

"We've been infested by mouths again… ULRIC!"

The Uber-Stu came running up. "Yes?"

"Go find those mouths before they start breeding!"

"Okay." The Uber-Stu ran off.

OOOOOOOO

Back to the action…

"Die, bizarre-looking robot, die!"

"Robots can't die, Tyler."

Tyler finished swallowing the robot's head, then looked up at Drake.

"It all depends on how hard you hit them."

"No it doesn't. A robot isn't a living thing, and thus, you can't kill it."

"Whaaatever."

Drake blinked. "Oookay… I propose a competition."

Tyler was suddenly standing up. "Hm?"

"Most enemies smashed and/or vaporized."

"You're on."

OOOOOOOOO

The fight raged on….

OOOOOOOOOO

Chrys fired a blast of desu at a robot, short-circuiting it.

"This is weird… why would the PCMSPS make robots when they have the Ubers?"

Valerie fired energy arrows into a group of the robots, blasting them apart.

"Maybe there was spare Suenergy, and they used it?"

Pete fired a spray of energy bullets into the robots.

"Whatever it is, they aren't very well made…"

Ben nuked a swarm of robots.

"Really? I didn't notice."

Jared Boomhammered a robot, while Chloe stabbed through the "skull," of another.

"He's right," Chloe agreed. "When I stabbed one of them, it just sort of… fell apart."

"And Ben, how would you notice if you keep nuking them?" Jared asked.

Rhia slashed one in two.

"Well, a robot that was built to be radioactivity-proof might be able to survive a nuke."

Claire and Michael cut down robot after robot.

"It would take a lot of radioactivity-proof…ness to survive an actual nuke," Michael pointed out.

"It would probably blow the PCMSPS budget." Claire continued.

Harriet smashed a robot with her cricket bat.

"They could sell that green laser. That might account for it."

Miri wedged her staff under the head of a robot before popping it off.

"I don't think selling a green laser would pay for lead coatings…especially not forty-foot-thick lead coatings…"

Terrie hurled a knife into a robot, which promptly exploded.

"Or they could just have a teleport spell built in or something…it would be a lot cheaper."

Ezra shattered the legs of several robots.

"I don't think that would be practical. Robots would be appearing out of nowhere at inconvenient times."

Danielle sent the head of a robot flying with a sharp whack.

"Yeah, like on the dinner table or in the middle of the night."

Thought Marcus opened his umbrella in the face of a robot, sending it stumbling backwards…right onto the sword of Emotion Marcus.

"Th-they could have p-p-protected them from n-nukes w-with a shielding sp-spell."

"OR A REFRIGERATOR!"

Willie blasted a robot with the Bolero of Steam.

"Maybe they just made the robots really cheaply, so they don't have to worry if a few dozen get nuked."

Kyle swung the Omniweapon as a mace, crushing a robot to bits.

"They did. We're just wondering why."

Jess jabbed one with her needle, and it fell apart.

"Maybe they have other minions, like the bat-squid."

Tyler rolled the Wall of Defense down a hill, knocking over several robots.

"27… 28… 29… and they do. They have the Ubers."

Drake punched the head off a robot.

"34! They also have the green laser."

Karissa swung her chain whip, ripping a gash in a robot. The robot, being shoddily made, exploded.

"What's so important about a green laser?"

Joe ripped a robot apart.

"Maybe it's a particularly dangerous green laser?"

Cristoph hurled a shuriken into a robot. The robot sparked, went dead, and fell over.

"It is. It's certainly powerful enough to fuse sand to glass, at any rate."

Ossa sliced a robot in two, and it fell apart. Ossa was turning away to deal with another robot when something caught her eye. She sliced the second robot in two, then picked a a bit of its armor that had fallen off. It was corrugated.

"Hey, everybody! These robots are made of cardboard!"

Mizuho blasted a robot with magic, reducing it to rubble.

"Cardboard? Really?"

Dave swung his axe, beheading a robot.

"Well, it would explain why this fight is so boring."

Shirley lunged at Dave, who narrowly dodged her.

"Ugh! Even for you, that was bad."

Lily smashed a robot with her Ice Blow.

"Blame the author."

Alice sliced a robot to bits with her sword.

"Yes, let's do that".

Louise shot a robot.

"Or we could just ignore the whole thing."

Tom beat a robot to death with a shrubbery.

"Take that! And that! And that!"

Danielle stabbed a robot with her staff (somehow).

"3… 2… 1…"

The robot fell apart.

OOOOOOOOOOO

Twenty minutes later…

The last robot fell to the ground, its head who-knows-where.

Jared grinned. "Well, that was easy."

"Don't say things like that!" Chloe admonished. "Do you want to fight another few thousand robots?"

Jared smirked. "You really think the author is going to bother writing another fight scene?"

"You've got a point there…"

OOOOOOOOOOOO

Elsewhere…

Sirahc frowned.

"So far, it's Society 2, Deraj's weird inventions 0. Why is he still here?"

Deraj leapt to his feet in anger.

"Like your Negatizer Magnet was any better? It was supposed to make sure there were only our Elimination Society counterparts there! Instead, we get two of the leaders!"

"And you're saying your Sue Storm device went perfectly?"

"You little-,"

Deraj was about to lunge at Sirahc when a wall of rock separated them. Retsa stood up.

"Sirahc, there was nothing wrong with the Sue Storm device. And Deraj, Sirahc made the Space Hammer cards and the Prohibitor-removal technology. I keep you two around for different reasons, and as long as those reasons exist, neither of you are leaving this ship.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

"46! Beat that!" Tyler announced.

"52," Drake replied calmly.

"WHAT?"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Soon our Society counterparts will get here, and then they'll taste the power of our ultimate weapon!" Ekard proclaimed.

"Didn't we already have an ultimate weapon?" Relyt asked.

"What, the green laser? Please. That's old hat by now."

"Ah. And the multi-cannons?"

"Pebbles compared to our new weapon."

"The Razor-Lazor?"

"That never worked in the first place."

"True."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"So, if the first threat we encountered was the bat-squid…" Tash started.

"And then the robots…" Harriet continued.

"Crack logic dictates that the next threat will be the Ubers, and hence the PCMSPS Agents themselves!"

The Society let out a loud cheer.

"However, as it required about a mile of walking between the bat-squid and the robots, we think it will be about twice that to get to the PCMSPS!" Harriet yelled.

The Society let out a loud groan.

"Just kidding!" Tash confirmed.

The Society let out a loud sigh of relief.

This could have gone on all day, or at least until the author ran out of synonyms for "said," but it was interrupted by a massive shadow that enveloped all the Society members, and the humming that precedes spaceship landings in all good sci-fi movies. The Society scattered to avoid being crushed by the rapidly descending PCMSPS ship. However, instead of landing, the ship released dozens of Uber pods, quickly followed by the PCMSPS members parachuting down to join them.

"Well… that was a lot shorter than a mile," Harriet mumbled.

Retsa sliced off her parachute, then formed a fireball in her hand, pointing it at various Society Agents.

"Well well well. Society, we meet again."

"Quit ripping off old lines and let's get to the fight scene!"

Harriet frowned. "Okay, who said that?"

"They did," responded Karissa, pointing at the mouths, who had appeared out of nowhere.

For the first and last time in all of recorded history, a ACMSES member and a PCMSPS member worked together. Both Tash and Retsa launched a blast of fire at the mouths, incinerating them instantly.

Retsa smirked. "The first shots have been fired. Let the battle begin."

Insert Gigantic Autonomous Robots Here

Alarms started blaring on the PCMSPS ship. Words like "Intruder alert", "spy" and "is in the base" filled the atmosphere. A girl in a pink nurse dress was running on the catwalk. She was about average height for a girl, had dark, long hair with parts of the fringe covering her right eye and a hair band holding it into a ponytail. Her expressions showed fear, but she remained steadfast. Footsteps behind her started getting louder. She ran through a doorway and dropped a grenade. Suddenly after that, an explosion and sounds of soldiers wailing in agony reached her ears. She continued running. Then, Uber-Stu appeared before her.

"You won't get awa...," before he could finish, she leaped and caught his head between her legs.

CRACK!

With an extremely quick twist, she broke his neck, and he fell down like a dummy. She rolled on the catwalk and continued running.

Suddenly, a rock flew towards her from the side. She deployed her ray shield, but the impact force pushed her over the catwalk. She quickly grabbed hold of the railings, swung herself at bars and hanging chains like a gymnast would. She landed in the middle of the cargo bay, and the soldiers surrounded her immediately. She slowly got up, looked around her and dropped a laughing gas grenade.

The smoke immediately engulfed the soldiers, sending them into a hysterical laughter as she ran off to the edge of the cargo bay with a cylindrical object in her mouth. She spat it out as she cleared away from the smoke, and was about to reach the exit door when she felt something hit her back. She fell down, and tried to crawl, but she couldn't move her body. Her vision started to blur, and the last thing she could make up was Aryan and Deraj looking down on her and the words "Wanderer", "won't let this go unanswered" and "trap".

-

"Wanderers, listen up. We have a situation here. We've got a distress signal from our spy, Lydia Hei, and most likely captured by the PCMSPS," said the Author on the cell phone on loudspeaker. Ingrid and Doug were in the hangar.

"Who's Lydia?" asked Ingrid.

"That's Vespin's cousin. You haven't met her yet, but you will soon," replied the Author.

"Can we trace her location?" asked Ingrid.

"In fact, the signal traced her to the Transformers fandom. Movie-verse," replied the Author.

"Think it could be a trap?" asked Doug. There was a pause.

"It is, but it's worth the risk. No Wanderer gets left behind," said the Author.

"Agreed," replied both of them.

"Good. You go up ahead. I'll be sending Terry, Ivan, Rina, Maddie and Vespin will be there as soon as you get there," said the Author.

"We're Oscar Mike, out," replied Doug before closing the phone.

"Doug, what's Oscar Mike?" asked Ingrid.

"It means 'on the move', Ingrid. Come on, let's suit up," said Doug as they both headed for the armoury. Doug opened the vault and headed for the weapons rack. Each of them took a ray shield bracelet, an assault rifle, a sniper rifle, a GPS locator, a pistol and a tactical knife. They got out of the armoury and headed for a plothole when Lily came in.

"Doug, Ingrid. What are you doing?" asked Lily.

"We're going off to the Transformers fandom," replied Doug bluntly.

"The last time I checked, there were no disturbances in the fandom. Why do you need to go there?"

"Don't need to know. Wanderer business," replied Doug. Both the Wanderers were about to enter the plothole when Lily blocked their way.

"Woah, not so fast. As Society members, you still need to follow protocols. Go to Michael and explain," said Lily. Doug got annoyed and pulled out a handkerchief.

"Does this smell like chloroform?" asked Doug immediately. Lily sniffed it.

"Yeeeeeeee..." Lily was immediately knocked out and Doug managed to catch her before she landed on the hard floor. He put her on a chair and they both entered the plothole.

-

"Are all teams ready?" announced the Author on the PA system. He was standing on the observation deck with scientists. The scientists were fiddling with the controls to a portal generator, which was located on the floor. At the floor, the Wanderers were gathered together with military equipment, vehicles and Dark Guardian personnel. The Wanderers gave thumbs up in response to the Author's question.

"Stand by for portal activation," announced the Author.

"Increasing flux capacitors to 100%," said a scientist.

"Increasing direct current to 95%," said another scientist. At the floor, the portal cannon was charging with a humming sound above the Wanderers' heads. Suddenly, the portal cannon stopped humming, and the base started to power down. Lights went off.

"What happened?" asked Vespin. The Wanderers were confused as the lights came back on together with alarms blaring.

"Infiltration alert! Main generators down, backup generators are now online," announced the PA system. Up in the observation deck, the Author was instructing a scientist to switch on the emergency broadcast feed. A soldier appeared on the screen.

"Give me answers, soldier," stated Author.

"An infiltrator sabotaged the fusion generator by overloading it. We're pursuing him now," replied the soldier. Then a news feed of the saboteur running away from authority popped up on the left corner of the screen.

"Any casualties so far?" asked the Author.

"Just an engineer, sir," replied the soldier. The Author pinched the bridge of his nose. Then he turned to one of the scientists.

"Can the backup generator run the system?" asked the Author.

"If we can risk instability," replied the scientist. The Author sighed and turned to the microphone.

"Wanderers, the police are in pursuit of a saboteur. Get him alive!" announced the Author. The Wanderers complied and left with their respective Dark Guardian teams. The Author then turned to the screen.

"Assemble a team of engineers. I want that generator running within an hour," said the Author. The soldier nodded his head and the windows closed, revealing the Wanderers' logo. The Author then talked to one of his bodyguards.

"Get me a chopper in the air, pronto."

-

Doug and Ingrid appeared on the cliff face outside the Hoover Dam, where the Allspark was hidden. Doug took out his binoculars and looked out. There were several PCMSPS soldiers patrolling the outer walls, and some obvious vehicles parked just within the Hoover Dam area. Doug reached for his radio.

"Spysat, this is Doug. Do you read me?" asked Doug.

"Loud and clear, Doug. This is Cheryl on the line," replied the voice.

"Are the others ready?" asked Doug.

"No, Doug. There has been a sabotage. We need an hour to get the generators up and running," said Cheryl.

"That's time we don't have, Cheryl. I'm going in first," replied Doug.

"Copy that. Take care," said Cheryl.

"Silencers, Ingrid. We're going in first," said Doug. Ingrid nodded and fixed silencers to her assault rifle and sniper rifle. The both of them took an nail and knocked it close to the edge of the cliff. Then they both tied ropes around the nails and hooked themselves on to it. Then they laid low and looked down their sniper rifle scopes.

"I'll take the two on the road deck, you take the four on the forward intake towers," said Doug. They both zeroed in on their targets.

"On three. One, two, three," said Doug before pulling the trigger. The six unfortunate PCMSPS soldiers were taken out immediately.

"Come on, let's go before they notice," said Doug as they both scaled down behind the shadow of the cliff face, then slid down a small hill to the road deck. They then rushed to one of the vents, opened it, and got down into it.

-

The saboteur was running away from drones of helicopters and wails of the police sirens. He got out of the alley and saw a person entering a car. He pulled the person away and got into the car, stealing it and driving away. He tried to drive to the highways, but the squad cars were already blocking the entrance ramps. He turned the vehicle around and tried to turn to the corners but they were blocked by squad cars too. He proceeded straight and looked at the intersections, but the sides have been blocked by the police. Then at the front, a helicopter hovered just above the road and a Dark Guardian fired bullets at the car. The car swerved to avoid the bullets and crashed at a corner shop. More helicopters hovered down to street level and the Wanderers came out and rushed to the crashed car. The Author walked from the opposite direction and to the car. Terry and Ivan pulled the saboteur out of the car and restrain him. Ivan then stuck his fingers into the saboteur's mouth and pulled a cyanide pill out. The Author crouched and looked eye to eye with the saboteur.

"Get him to interrogation. I want whatever is in his head," said the Author. Terry and Ivan handed him to a soldier and he brought the saboteur to an awaiting chopper. The helicopter took off and was about to fly off when a missile came out of nowhere and hit the helicopter.

 BOOM!

The helicopter burst into bits and pieces and the pieces were falling onto the streets.

"What the hell!" exclaimed one of the soldiers as they shielded their eyes from the blast. The Author gave a simple wave motion and the pieces slowed down and landed on the ground without causing collateral damage. Everyone else stared at the wreckage, shocked. The Author cursed under his breath.

-

A plothole opened and Eolhc came out, lugging a Javelin missile launcher. Deraj turned and asked Eolhc.

"What happened to Commander Stu?" asked Deraj.

"He has outlived his usefulness," replied Eolhc simply.

-

Doug looked on his GPS locator to check his location. Ingrid was quietly observing the generator floor which was teeming with soldiers. Lots of red shirts.

"If I'm right, the security room is through this vent," muttered Doug before pulling out a screwdriver. He unscrewed the screws holding the vent grills and slowly pulled it out of the way.

"Ingrid, you go on ahead. I'll watch your back," whispered Doug. Ingrid wasn't paying attention as she continued watching the floor.

"INGRID!" Doug whispered louder, grabbing her attention. Ingrid quickly turned her attention to Doug.

"You go first," said Doug. Ingrid complied and climbed into the vent. Doug followed after, putting the grill back into place. They crawled on to the end of the vent, which was the on top of the security room. Ingrid pulled out her fibre optics camera and dropped it through the vents to observe the security room.

"Two guards," said Ingrid.

"Use a flashbang. Careful not to break the glass," said Doug. Ingrid took out a flashbang grenade, pulled the pin, kicked the vent open and dropped the grenade. The grenade went off with a poof, blinding the guards in the room as she dropped down, gunning them down.

"All clear," said Ingrid. Doug dropped down and head for the security controls.

"Let's get to work, shall we?" said Doug, plugging in his USB device into the console.

-

A giant plothole opened and out came two infantry fighting vehicles and three rail-gun tanks. One of the IFVs opened its back hood, allowing the Dark Guardians to come out with anti-vehicle weapons. They then got on top of the IFVs and tanks, and the vehicles drove off to the Hoover Dam.

Upon reaching the dam, they spotted the same peculiar vehicles near the dam, facing towards them.

"Get ready," said Terry as he came out from the other IFV. The vehicles transformed into the Decepticons, which some of them grouped together to form an even bigger transformer.

"Wait a minute, the Constructicons are supposed to be in this movie," remarked Terry as the Decepticons started to charge towards the Wanderers.

"It's about time to get me started," commented Terry as he stretched his fingers. Then he clapped his hands together and touched the solid ground, creating glass structures to impede the Decepticons.

-

"Okay, I've got her. Sector 3," said Ingrid. Doug quickly headed to Ingrid's monitor. He saw the Wanderer hooked up on torturous medical equipment.

"Oh god," gasped Doug.

"What?" asked Ingrid.

"She's on torture equipment. Vespin's not gonna like this..." replied Doug.

"Come on, they just made one hell of a pissed off halfling," replied Doug. They both left the security room and headed to Sector 3.

-

"Get me footage of the fandom, NOW!" exclaimed Michael as he walked into the observation office with a very dizzy Lily. Valerie ran her fingers across the keyboard and the footage of the fandom where Doug and Ingrid went came on. It showed the Wanderers taking on the Decepticons pretty well, but they're going to need more to get through them. Then another footage of Doug and Ingrid going into Sector 3. He could see PCMSPS soldiers watching their every move from the shadows.

"Get a team ready. They're walking into an obvious trap," said Michael as he walked out of the room. Valerie immediately reached for the microphone to announce an emergency briefing.

-

Only a few soldiers were visible in the sector, and Doug just steam rolled over them in fury. Then Doug stuck a plastic explosive on the steel door to the hangar where Lydia was located.

BOOM!

The doors came down with a thump and Doug and Ingrid went through the doorway. Lydia was strapped on a chair with duct tape in the middle of the hangar. There were tubes flowing liquid down into her bloodstream. She looked horrible; her hair messy, black rings around her eyes, bruises on her wrists. Doug and Ingrid raced towards her to check her up.

"Lydia! Lydia!" called Doug as he tried to make her conscious. Ingrid quickly pulled out the needles and closed the wounds. Doug touched her neck to feel her pulse. The pulse was very weak and her eyelids were halfway open. Ingrid immediately radioed in for medical support.

"You and the Author had to get into my affairs. Now one of your own have to suffer from the consequences," said Aryan as he immediately appeared behind Doug and Ingrid. Doug quickly drew out his knife and it transformed into a sword. He swung it at Aryan, but a solid wall appeared between Aryan and Doug. The sword, instead breaking like normal ones, sliced through the wall like a hot knife through butter. The top part of the wall slid off the bottom part, which made Aryan jump a few feet away.

"That's my sword. Do you mind if I have it back?" Aryan said coolly. Doug just charged and tried to deliver a strike at Aryan, but Aryan formed a sword out from thin air and blocked it. The air that dissipated from the swing was enough to cause clothes to flutter. Aryan, without effort, pushed Doug away with his sword. Ingrid was slowly pulling the comatose Lydia away from the open when Eolhc appeared from the back and held a dagger to her throat.

"Not so fast, newbie," said Eolhc. Ingrid stopped immediately and stood still.

-

The Wanderers were having a hard time dealing with the Decepticons and imported Fallens from the second movie when a plothole appeared and Michael and his team of Agents came out of it.

"Looks like you need a little help," said Michael. The a missile from Starscream was zooming towards Michael when Terry jumped forward and transmuted a glass barrier. The missile impacted the barrier, exploding, but the barrier remained intact. The proximity of the explosion made Michael jump.

"Pay more attention, otherwise YOU are the ones needing help," replied Terry. Michael nodded and rallied the Agents to attack the Decepticons following a kinetic shell from a Defender tank hitting the mega Constructicon at the two giant wrecking balls.

-

Doug heard Eolhc's voice and turned back. Distracted, Aryan made a column appear from the ground and it hit Doug right in the stomach, causing him to fly off and land hard on the floor, dropping his weapon. Doug groaned and looked at Ingrid. Thinking of ways to get them out of the mess, he got up immediately and grabbed his sword.

"Hold it, Wanderer. Do you want to lose another one just because of your reckless actions?" said Aryan. Doug gripped his sword tightly, but remained still.

"The PCMSPS are with me, and I need you for my experiments. Surrender and they will be allowed to leave. Drop your weapon," continued Aryan. Doug stared at Aryan and then looked at Ingrid. Her eyes leered at him. He acknowledge her sign, and gripped his sword more tightly. Ingrid immediately reached her dagger and stabbed Elhoc in the knee. She staggered and fell, allowing Ingrid to piggyback Lydia away. Doug quickly lunged at Aryan and slashed him, but missed.

"Now!" exclaimed Aryan. Out of nowhere, Deraj appeared and swung his Flashbar at Doug's head, knocking him out instantly. Ingrid pulled out her weapon, but was blinded instantly. Doug dropped his sword, and Aryan pulled his body into a plothole. Deraj then lifted Eolhc and carried her into the plothole.

When she recovered, PCMSPS soldiers were pouring into the hangar, training their rifles at her. She immediately pulled out her ray shield and the bullets began to rattle her shield. With her back at a wall and a comatose Wanderer, she couldn't move anywhere.

Suddenly, the Wanderers and the Agents made an appearance, cutting down all the PCMSPS soldiers. Terry made a glass barrier around Ingrid and Lydia while Rina, Maddie and Vespin drew out the swords and sliced through them. Michael and his Agents beat the crap out of the troops, throwing them into the air like ragdolls. When it was all over, Vespin rushed towards Ingrid and checked on Lydia.

"Lydia-nee-san! Lydia-nee-san!" exclaimed Vespin. Lydia was unresponsive, but alive. Then, Cheryl and her team of medics arrived and headed directly to Lydia. She checked her pulse and eye movement with her tiny torchlight.

"How's she?" asked Terry. Cheryl turned to him and replied.

"Bad case of poisoning. Also includes overdose of Twilight," said Cheryl before turning to the medical teams.

"Get her to the emergency ward immediately!" commanded Cheryl. The medical teams loaded her on the stretcher and rushed out to an awaiting chopper.

"Hang on there!" exclaimed Vespin as they all left to the awaiting chopper.

"Where's Doug? I need a word with him!" said Michael, his tone filled with anger. Then he heard sobs. It came from the new Agent, Ingrid. Michael rushed towards her and began asking question.

"Where's Doug?" asked Michael.

"Th...th...they t...tt...took him!" said Ingrid between sobs. Terry rushed towards Ingrid.

"Where's Doug?" asked Terry.

"She said 'They took him'," said Michael.

"You got to be shitting me," commented Terry.

"What?" questioned Michael.

"Lydia reported that they're planning to make character foils for the Wanderers," said Terry.

"So?"

"So, with Lydia alive, we can assume that they had her DNA and power, which is reading minds. If they took Doug's healing abilities and fused it into one, you're going to have a being that can read your moves and regenerate at the same time."

"Like a Sue or Stu?"

"Yes, but be prepared of it to be hyped up in other powers as well. We heard that they 'sucked' the 'essence' of some Sues and Stus at one point." Michael was shocked by this new development. Then his attention turned to the sobbing agent, Ingrid.

"What about her?" asked Michael.

"She'll be with us for a while. Doug is a big brother mentor to her, so she is shocked by this incident," replied Terry. Michael nodded. As the Wanderers began to leave, Terry gave Michael a cellphone.

"We'll keep in touch. Hopefully the Society will give its full support to get Doug back and destroy Aryan," said Terry. Michael nodded as his team of Agents return to the Library.

Insert The Best of Both Worlds Here (part 3 of 5)

Doug took aim at the missile and fired. The bullet ricochet off the missile's casing and knocked it go off course where it exploded harmlessly several feet away.

"Five to two aren't the best odds Jared, we need to retreat!" Doug yelled as he and Jared whipped out their Plothole Generators.

"Not so fast!" Deraj shouted as he pressed a button on his wristwatch. The antenna attached to the Great Temple suddenly began to emit a reddish glow and both the Agent's plothole generators shorted out.

"C'mon, this trick again?" Jared objected.

Deraj shrugged. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it,"

"Alright," Jared shrugged. "Well if you've got the situation here under control, I'm just going to go now."

He and Doug took off running, dodging knives, magic blasts, fireballs and earth waves.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to Jared and he stopped running.

"What are you doing?" Yelled Doug, swatting down a knife with his sword and shooting down another missile with his pistol.

"No man gets left behind!" Jared yelled, scooping up the immobile forms of Crunch and the LPGB before taking off running again.

With the sheer amount of weaponry being directed at them, the duo couldn't hope to to avoid it forver. Doug took a knife and a weak fireball in the back while Jared was tripped up by an earth blast.

Doug got back up and pulled the knife out of his back. Deraj's jacket had actually kept most of the attack from actually coming into contact with him. No wonder biker's like leather, it was not only cool, but great if you ever found yourself sliding across the pavement at 50 MPH. Doug thought as he pocketed the knife.

"Eolhc! I wanted that jacket back intact!" Deraj yelled.

"Hey, not my problem!" Eolhc responded.

"Don't let them get away!" Yelled Retsa, shooting a hail of rock shards at Doug.

Jared coughed up some dirt. "E-e-epicenter!" He managed to stutter as he hit the ground and Retsa's rock shards were suddenly swallowed by a massive wave of sand. Retsa summoned a massive firestorm to counter the wave, turning the sand into glass. Relyt and Ekard immidiatly began to attempt to break their way through the barrier.

"Save your breath fools!" Shouted Retsa.

"What! But they're getting away!" Objected Relyt.

"That path leads to the Agon Wastes, more specifically into the Space Pirates metroid hatchery." Retsa explained. "If we cut through Dark Aether we'll beat them there, and once we release the metroids they'll make quick work of Doug, and Jared will have no choice but to surrender."

Deraj turned to Retsa, "And how do you plan on getting us through Dark Aether without turning us all extra crispy?" He asked.

"Interrupt me again and I'll throw you into the Ing hive. I wonder what would kill you first, the atmosphere or the Ing?"

Retsa growldd and began to lay out her plan to the rest of the agents.

-

Tyler hopped to his feet and looked around. They were alone in the forgotten mine, and Osiris was gone, which was all the better.

"Well, shall we continue?" He asked as Ben, Drake and Shirley got up and dusted themselves off.

"We can't here, that's for sure, Osiris' liberal use of explosives has made the mine unstable. If we don't leave we risk the whole place caving in." Drake muttered.

"Well, let's go this direction, that's the elevator Relyt, Ekard and Eolhc came down in. Maybe we can see where they came from." Ben suggested.

"Well what are we waiting for?" Shouted Shirley, and with that the group called the elevator.

-

"Where are we going?" Asked Aster as she charged after Chloe.

"We have to find a light portal, it's a dimensional anomaly that can be used to cross from Dark to Light Aether. I've downloaded both Aether's Atlases and I believe I've found a location where we can cross over in Dark Agon Wastes into the Space Pirate mine."

Chloe suddenly stopped running and raised a hand to her helmet.

"Hang on, I'm getting a message from Jared's team, I'll put them on speaker."

"Chloe, Aster, what is your condition?" Came Doug's voice.

"We're fine, we ran into Cassandra, but I don't think we're going to be seeing much of her anymore." Chloe said. "But more importantly, I believe someone has set a trap in this fandom by making us think there were more Sues then there actually were."

Jared voice came out of her suits speakers in reply, "You're right, it was our PCMSPS counterparts. We need to regroup, what's your position?"

"We are currently en route to the Space Pirates Research Station."

"Good, so are we, over and out."

-

Jared closed his communicator and leaned against the wall, looking tired.

"Are you all right?" Doug asked.

"Yeah, just give me a minute," replied Jared.

"What's wrong?"

"That last burst of earth magic took alot out of me. Normally I'm able to recharge fairly quickly, but Aether is a dead planet, and I haven't been on soil since The Dresden Files, I'm on my last wind. I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep using earth magic,"

Jared took a deep breath and shouldered the Boomhammer. "Well let's keep going, we don't want to the PCMSPS to catch up to us."

-

Charis stood in a corner of the science hall storage locker with Pete, both were looking at a massive ray gun-like device mounted on two iron legs that looked like it was about to fall apart.

"So what's this thing again?" Asked Pete.

"This is Jared's large scale Plothole Generator, he built it to get rid of the tribbles, but I believe it could possibly hold the key to breaking through the magnetic fields that has stopped our regular plothole generators from working. There's just one problem."

"What's that?" Pete asked.

"Jared began to dismantle this thing after he got rid of the tribbles, and Jared's method of writing blueprints is so unusual that I have no clue how to read them, I think they may be written in 'Lego'. We'll have to improvise when we try to reconstruct this thing."

Pete frowned, looking at the techie. "Hey, are you alright? You seem on edge."

"Well, ever since this morning, dealing with Jared's gadgets has become a dangerous task. If Tash hadn't asked me to develop a counter-magnet, I wouldn't even be considering it..."

-

Chloe and Aster entered the area known as the Dark Agon wastes, tracking the location of a dimensional anomaly that they could use to cross over to Light Aether, when Chloe's hostility radar suddenly lit up dead ahead.

A white bubble suddenly appeared and swelled, it retracted almost immediately, depositing the 5 PCMSPS agents. As soon as they entered the area a Luminoth Light Shield appeared around them, pushing back the harmful atmosphere.

"Designing a portable light crystal on the spot, no wonder you're the leader." Deraj acknowledged.

"Just remember, you'll die if you go outside five feet around me." Retsa said, keeping a tight grip on the Light Crystal.

Deraj was suddenly hit by a mass of dark energy, and was instantly encased in a purple cocoon of fluid like matter.

"Drat, I was hoping to hit the light crystal." Chloe muttered from her vantage point, "If I had, the Dark energy would have shut it down.

Relyt and Ekard immediately began to charge after Chloe and Aster, only to have Eohlc grab them by their necks.

"What part of 'don't go more than five feet from Retsa or you'll die' did you not understand?" She snarled.

Deraj broke out of his cocoon, breathing heavily. The last blast had inflicted more damage to his missile trooper armor, he wouldn't be able to take too many more hits, especially considering the amount of bullet holes Doug had already left.

"Aster, we have the advantage! We can fight in Dark Aether, they can't!" Chloe said as she dodged one of Deraj's missiles.

Retsa began hurling fireball at her counterpart, who dodged them with ease.

Aster flew towards the agents. Chloe did her best to follow using all of her Power Suits movement systems, using her Screw Attack to cross large gaps in the landscape and Space Jumping across the short ones, but despite her best efforts she quickly fell behind the fae.

"You know, in the manga version of this game, some of the troopers from the Tyr survived, they would have wiped these guys out long ago." Aster complainded as she launched ice shards at the group, they were quickly knocked aside by a hail of projectiles fired by the foil agents.

"We do not have time for this!" Yelled Retsa as she flung a fireball at Aster, the fae nimbly flew around it.

"I agree. Seeing as we both have earth powers, I propose that we combine them in order to bring this engagement to a speedy conclusion." Deraj prompted.

"For once Deraj, you're right. Follow my lead," Retsa commanded.

Deraj deactivated his Missle Trooper suit, Toyotanya briefly appeared in the groups midst before vanishing into a plothole.

Deraj closed his eyes, took a deep breath and began to draw Dark Aether's blackened planetary energy from his surroundings. When he opened them again he cupped his hands together and turned to Retsa.

"Meteor!" He shouted, interlocking his palms and releasing his stored earth magic at the leader of the group. The magic billowed around Retsa as she drew it around her, augmenting it with her own powers, then she sent the burst of energy into Dark Aether's bleeding red sky.

Chloe was only seconds away from a more effective firing range when a giant flaming rock fell from the heavens and smashed the ground in front of her. The shock-wave knocked her off of her feet and sent her flying back. Similar rocks were falling all around her, each with enough force to completely destroy her shielding within a couple of hits. Some of the meteors were even exploding as they hit the ground.

"Think they've had enough?" Deraj asked jokingly as he watched Aster frantically try and freeze and shatter meteors before they could hit her.

"No, but we don't have time to deal with them. Let us continue on our way." Resta ordered as they turned towards the Light Portal that would take them to Aether's Agon wastes. Retsa forced the portal open with a burst of light. She grinned and gave the struggling duo one last look before her group stepped through the portal, sealing it inside a tomb of rock behind them.

-

"Don't mess with nukes!"

"Storm Punch!"

"I don't call my moves!"

The Agents attacks collided with a grey colored door, all three bouncing off ineffectively. The door was equipped with a blast shield, impervious to even the heaviest of weapon fire.

"Now what do we do?" Asked Drake.

"I suppose we'll just have to go back to the Library and re-enter the fandom at another location, unless there's a way to get that shield off." said Tyler.

"I believe I can help you," came a female voice from the shadows. The group of Agents jumped.

"Who are you?" Ben asked.

A striking blond woman in a blue jumpsuit stepped out of the shadows. "My name is Samus Aran," she said, "That door will only open once all pirate resitance has been neatralized."

"But we already have! Do you see any pirate forces in this area?" Ben asked.

A sharp cry sounded from above, followed by an intense crash as several cracks spread across the ceiling.

"There is exactly one..." Samus replied as she drew her emergency pistol.

Another cry sounded as the ceiling collapsed, allowing Meta Ridley enter the area.

Samus charged her pistol and fired into Meta Ridley's face, Ridley reeled back, more in surprise than pain. Samus flipped the barrel of the weapon down and extended the plasma whip. She leapt at the creatures leg and slashed at it's knee. Ridley cried in pain and swung it's tail at Samus but she dodged and dove behind some rocks.

"Don't just stand there gawking! Cover me!" Samus shouted at the three agents.

Tyler began to fire magic blasts at the cybernetically enhanced dragon, the blasts only served to enrage it, causing it to refocus his attention on Tyler.

"Slicing Gale!" Drake yelled as he fired his boomerangs into Ridley's face, they burst harmlessly on contact.

"Aim for the chest you fools! It's the only place his armor is vulnerable!" Samus yelled as she flipped onto Ridley's back and swung her plasma whip into his mouth, the whip wrapped around it's tongue, smoke began to pour out of the mouth as Ridley hissed in pain and rose onto his hind legs.

"Don't mess with nukes!" Called Ben, pointing at Ridley's chest. The nuke impacted and exploded, shattering the chest piece.

Tyler leapt at the beast and slammed weapon into his chest, Ridley screamed as yellowish fluid burst from a wound.

"Isn't this the same way we beat the last resurrected cyborg freak?" Tyler asked as he wiped the yellow fluid off his shirt.

"Not quite, unless this guy is allergic to caffine I doubt Ben's coffee attack will work on this guys, but I have an idea. Tyler, do you feel up to trying that move we've been practicing?"

Tyler dodged an awkward blast of energy that burst out of Ridley's mouth around Samus' whip.

"What? You mean the..."

"Most certainly!"

"Let's do it!" Tyler said, turning around and heading for the wall behind Drake.

"Do I even want to know?" Ben asked as he leapt over a sweep of Ridley's tail.

"That depends, are you a fan of either baseball or classic X-men? Because you're about to witness a..." Tyler dramatically paused his sentence as he used his axle staff to pole vault himself to the far wall, he followed this with a magical energy charged leap over to where Drake was standing, he landed nimbly on one of Drake's glowing fists.

"Fastball special!" Tyler and Drake shouted simultaneously.

"Storm Punch!" Drake finished as he flung Tyler at Ridley for all he was worth. Tyler slammed into Ridley's chest staff first, followed by his shoulder, the chest piece let out a massive crack and split open upon impact. Tyler reached into his pouch, pulled out a grenade and dropped it into the crook of the opening and bounced off. The grenade detonated and created a massive explosion. Ridley gave an injured shout and took to the air, violently swinging his head to one side. Samus was thrown off and slammed hard into a wall. It would have only been a glancing hit had her armor been activated. She briefly regretted ejecting out of it to escape from Cassandra as she lost consciousness.

-

"Okay, so let's just do a quick recap. We can't run, we can't escape, and we can't fight with a reasonable chance of victory. You got any thoughts on the matter?" Jared asked as he and Doug wandered around the metroid hatchery.

"Well, if military history has taught me anything, when your back is to the wall and the odds are against you, the best thing you can do is set a trap..."

-

A glowing beam of energy fired out of a crater, latching onto it's edge. The Grapple Beam began to retract, dragging a very battered looking Chloe behind it. Her left arm dangled uselessly off to her side, obviously broken and she could barley see through her Suit's cracked visor. She needed to find Aster. If the Ing attacked her in her current condition she'd be easy pickings.

Aster herself had gotten off fairly easily, suffering only a few minor cuts and bruses from the attack. She emerged from her ice filled crater in time to see Chloe stumbling towards her. Aster immediately flew over to help.

"Chloe-chan! Are you all right?" the fae asked.

Chloe turned her head to face Aster, the Suit's joints creaking precariously as she did so. "My arm is broken, and I can't see through this damaged helmet piece. We need to cross over so I can take it off." she said grimly.

"That's is going to be difficult, Retsa sealed the portal inside a a tomb of rock."

Chloe sighed. "We'll just have to unseal it again. Point my Arm Cannon in the right direction for me, let's see if a Super Missle can release it."

Aster grabbed Chloe's right arm and turned until it was facing Retsa's tomb.

Chloe fired a Super Missle, impacting the rock pile and demolishing it. Inside the Light anomaly pulsated rhythmically as it blurred the dimensional gap between the two Aether's. Chloe switched her Arm Cannon to Light Beam mode and forced the portal open. Chloe and Aster stepped through.

-

Sparks flew across the room as Charis connected a pair of wires that obviously weren't meant to be connected.

"OUCH! I'll have this thing up and running if it's the last thing I do!" Charis shouted defiantly.

-

"Are you guys all right?" Chloe asked as she and Aster stepped through the portal.

"As well off as can be expected, what about you?" Jared asked.

In response Chloe deactivated her Power Suit and collapsed against the wall. Chevila, now in it's truck form, materialized next to her, the windshield was completely cracked and nearly impossible to see through.

"Chloe! What happened to you?" Jared asked as he rushed over to her.

"Retsa and Deraj. We need to get her back to the Library." Aster answered.

"No, I can still fight." Chloe insisted. "Just cut me a piece of one of Chevila's seat belts so I can fashion a sling."

"You're in no condition to fight, we're getting you out of here." Jared objected.

"We can't, the fandom's on lockdown. How'd you get out of this last time Jared?" Doug asked.

Jared stood up and looked at him, "I blew up the machine creating the lockdown and Plotholed into your lab. Unfortunately those lock out antenna are to far away for anything we use on them to be effective," he said grimly.

A door suddenly opened at the far side of the hatchery. Doug immidiatly aimed his pistol at it.

"Easy there, it's us!" Ben said, startled.

"Well, the gangs all here, so what do we do now?" Asked Drake.

Jared and Doug exchanged looks.

"We were planning on laying a trap, and now that we're all here we can engage them on more even terms, so if you'll all listen up I'll fill you in on the plan..."

-

"Is this it?" Asked Relyt as he stared at a door.

"Yes, the ACMSES agents are on the other side. Our job is to capture one of them, preferably Jared, does everybody know the plan?" Deraj asked.

"I don't." answered a random Uber Stu, Deraj answered by shooting him.

"We can afford no mistakes." He said as he reloaded his revolver.

"You really shouldn't shoot those, it's a waste of resources." Eolhc said.

"Don't worry, I have plenty of ammunition," Deraj said smugly. "Shall we go in?"

-

The doors to the hatchery opened and the PCMSPS entered.

"Alright people, here they come," Doug hissed into his communicator from his vantage point.

"Ah!" Relyt shouted as a metroid lunged towards him from inside it's cage.

"Don't wet yourself pansy, these metroids can't escape their cells," Retsa said coldly.

"Hey, come take a look at this!" Ekard shouted, "Jared must've left his hunk of junk parked over here."

Jared winced from his hiding spot. Jow dare they insult his truck, only his friends had the right to do that! He briefly considered jumping out of the shadows and giving Ekard a lesson in manners involving the Boomhammer before getting his temper back under control.

Deraj strolled over to inspect the truck.

"Ah, Chevila, such a quaint vehicle, the cannonization device must have failed when Chloe crossed over. Unfortnately for them, Aether doesn't have a vehicle friendly terrain. They must have left it behind. Jared shouldn't have been so careless about his truck, something might happen to it on such a dangerous planet..."

Jared knew what was going to happen next, he grimaced as Deraj drew his flashbar and smashed it into one Chevila's headlights. He felt his grip on the Boomhammer tighten.

"Yeah, a warp hound might decide to sharpen his claws on it!" Ekard said as he summoned his spear and used it to create a deep cut across the passenger side.

"This is not happening the way it's supposed to," Ben whispered to Tyler as they lay beneath a canvas in the back of Chevila.

"Yeah, who knew the evil organiztion would approve senseless destruction," Tyler answered sarcastically.

Retsa jointed in, hurling rocks all over the pickup, causing numerous dents.

This was not going according to plan, thought Doug. They were supposed to ignore the truck and follow the trail leading away from it into our pitfall, then Ben and Tyler would jump out and hit them from behind. The only thing that could make this go even more badly is if...

"I'll teach you not to mess with my truck! Boomhammer!" Came Jared's voice

"Of course," Doug murmured as he drew his weapon.

Ekard's vision was suddenly filled with stars as Jared's hammer came into contact with his helmet. Jared followed up the strike with a devestating a swing of the hammer that threw Ekard's legs out from underneath him. By the time Jared had finished and run off, he was only vaguely aware of the sound of an engine starting as Jared slid between his legs and hopped into Chevila's cab.

"Stop him!" Shouted Deraj as he summoned his missile trooper armor raised his missle launcher.

"Don't mess with nukes!" Shouted Ben as he sprung out of Chevila's bed.

"Oh crap!" Was all Deraj managed to say as the warhead impacted him.

"Chevila, don't fail me now!" Jared shouted as he put the truck in drive and hit the gas, Tyler and Ben both fell over from the force of the sudden acceleration.

"You won't get away!" Retsa shouted as she launched a massive fireball at the truck.

"Uh Jared, I think you should have yielded the right of way back there." Tyler muttered as he watched the approaching fireball.

"Where I come from, the vehicle with the biggest tires gets the right of way. I was simply following the rules of the road." Jared hastily replied as he pushed the pedal to the floor.

The trio passed under the rock pass Chloe, and Aster were hiding on. Once they pulled away it became apparent that they had some new passengers, courtesy of Aster's powers of flight.

"Do I always have to pull your pants out of the fire?" Chloe asked as she adjusted her makeshift sling fashioned from Chevila's passenger side seat belt. "Encahnto!"

A handfull of rubix cubes suddenly appeared in Chloe's hand. She brought her good arm back and flung the cubes at the fireballs, they exploded on contact and snuffed out the flame.

"Nice save," Tyler remarked, "But we have other problems."

Sure enough Deraj had apparently shaken off his initial encounter with one of Ben's nukes. Once he had regained his senses he had de-cannonized his car, which he, Retsa, Relyt, Eohlc and Ekard were now pursuing Chevila in.

"Gi gi gi, I just love a good hot pursuit!" Jared shouted.

"Duck!" Shouted Ben as Resta leaned out the window of the passenger door and began to launch bursts of fire and rock.

"Kyaa!" Aster yelled, firing blasts of ice and wind to counter the barrage.

"Hang on!"Jared said as he drifted around a tank of metroids.

-

"Well, so much for a well laid trap," Doug said as he and Drake ran after to two rapidly fading vehicles. "Now how am I supposed to catch up with them?"

That's when the Metroid tanks started breaking.

-

"They're gaining on us!" Ben shouted.

"I'm doing the best I can, Chevila was never built for speed, or power, or anything else for that matter!" Jared yelled in reply.

"Incoming!" Yelled Aster as she summond a wall of ice around the agents in the bed of the truck, a solid ball of earth impacted it a second later, sending rocks flying in every direction but towards the agents, including through the floor of the bed and into the undercarriage.

Jared looked at his dash just in time to see his gas gauge begin to dwindle.

"Dang it, that last blast hit my gas tank! I'm leaking fuel! I'm going to circle around and regroup with Doug and Drake, hang on!"

The agents in the bed scarcely had time to grab onto the sides of the truck before Jared cranked the wheel sharply to the right, the entire truck went up on two wheels as it swung around another Metroid tank. Jared winced as it leveled out with a bang.

"That can't be good on the suspension..."

-

"Die you freakin' flying parasite!" Doug shouted as he sliced a metroid in half, "There's no end to these things!"

Drake nodded grimly as he blasted a Metroid that had tried to dive at him.

"Then we can't stop either, keep fighting!"

Doug pulled out his pistol and began firing at a Metroid that was trying to flank him. The bullets made the thing shriek and flail, but didn't manage to dissuade it. He had to empty his entire clip before it finally died.

"Drake, cover me, I've got to reload!" Doug shouted before leaping behind a shattered Metroid tank.

"Slicing Gale!" Drake yelled, launching his boomerangs at a random Metroid. The Metroid dodged however and lunged at Drake. The surprised Agent couldn't react in time to evade the attack and the creature managed to latch onto his helmet. A cold numbness began to spread trough Drake's body as the Metroid began to drain his life force.

"C-C-Cold," he studdered, "Can't... breathe."

The metroid suddenly shrieked and died as Doug's sword was shoved through it's body.

"Thanks," Drake muttered, trying to ignore the Metroid goop-covered sword that was slightly penetrating his helmet.

"You can thank me later, those things are still coming!"

The empty Metroid tank behind Doug suddenly shattered as Chevila crashed through it.

"Did you miss us?" Jared shouted as the truck rolled to a stop.

"Jared, get us out of here!" Doug said as he and Drake jumped in the back.

Jared noticed the swarm of Metroids converging on truck.

"You'll get no argument from me!" Jared said as he hit the gas, the truck gave a sputter and died.

"Oh mierda!" Jared shouted, breaking into Spanish for emphasis, "I'm out of gas!"

A Metroid suddenly shot forward and slammed into Chevila's windshield. The glass cracked even more on impact. "All hands, this is the captain! Proceed to emergency escape pods!" Jared shouted as he threw his door open.

Chloe reached into the bed of the truck and grabbed Chevila's tire tool. It was along ways away from a blade, but it was going to have to work.

"We have to wrap this up quickly!" Tyler shouted, "Those PCMSPS agents are right behind us!"

A Metroid lunged at Tyler. Tyler ducked and the thing latched onto Doug.

"Gah, get this thing off of me!" He shouted.

"Let go of Doug-chan!" Aster shouted before she froze the metroid, Shirley lunged at it and smashed it in her jaws.

"Aster, keep freezing them! Metroids can't stand the ice!" Jared hollered.

"Don't mess with nukes!" Ben shouted, his attack was easily dodged by the agile Metroids however.

Aster took to the skies and began blasting Metroids, it wasn't long before the other Agents managed to destroy the frozen creatures.

"Well, that takes care of the Metroids, but what about the PCMSPS?" Drake asked.

Jared looked around, "They should have been here by now, did we lose them?"

"We're right here!" Retsa said as she flew into the clearing and began launching rocks.

Jared lifted his Boomhammer and swung it like a baseball bat. The rock it came into contact with shattered with a weak sounding "BOOM".

Great, now my hammer is starting to get fatigued, Jared thought to himself.

Aster shot into the sky after Retsa and swung her Moon Staff hard into her gut. Retsa made an indignant woofing sound and went down, although before she even hit the ground she was starting to recover. Doug and Ben ran to intercept her.

"So we meet again Tyler..." Relyt said as he rounded on Tyler and Drake.

"Are you ready to meet your superiors?" Ekard asked.

"Storm punch!"

"Hiyahh!"

Drake and Tyler lunged at their foes, both parried their blows and countered, Drake winced as Ekard's Drought Punch connected, Tyler simply made a comical prop noise as he was hit in the shoulder.

"So you're Chloe?" Eohlc asked as she drew two short swords. "Funny, I thought you'd be taller, are you ready to find out which of us is truely better?"

Chloe laughed, "How do you expect to find out which one of us is better if we aren't fighting on even terms? I'm fighting with a tire tool and a broken arm for crying out loud!"

Eolhc raised one eyebrow. "True, to beat you now would be an empty victory, so how about this..." Eohlc threw one of her swords at Chloe, who nimbly caught it in her good arm.

"As for your arm, I suppose we'll have to make do with this," Eohlc sheathed her sword and raised her right hand to her left shoulder. Chloe tried not to gasp at the fleshy sound of Eolhc dislocating her own arm.

"There, is that satisfactory?" Eohlc asked, wincing as she drew her sword and lunged.

Jared's hood slid across Chevila right as Deraj's flashbar came down, the blow missed and wound up putting a fresh dent in the side panel.

"Oh c'mon, I just painted that!" Jared objected as he lept off the other side of the truck.

Deraj did not reply, instead he just drew his revolver and fired, the bullet whizzed by Jared's ear as he dove beneath the truck.

"What's wrong? Aren't you going to try and hit me with your earth magic?" He said as he grabbed Jared by the ankle and dragged him out. Jared gracelessly flipped over and pulled some miniature mortar shells out of his pocket. Deraj was caught off guard when Jared threw them into his face. They stung a good deal and made Deraj let go of Jared's leg.

"Courtesy of the Little Plastic Green Beret!" Jared said as hit Deraj in the ankle with his Boomhammer.
Deraj winced as he stumbled back.

"So the dog still has some bite left after all. A pity. I was hoping this would be easy..."

Jared stood up and gripped his hammer, he was fairly sure he could take Deraj in a fair fight, but this fight was far from fair. His Earth magic was all but gone, and his Boomhammer was quickly burning through it's reserve of sonic energy, he needed to finish this fast or not at all.

Jared lunged at Deraj and attempted to land a right hook to his face but Deraj caught the blow and swung his leg out to meet Jared's. The less coordinated agent stumbled and fell.

"Fissure!"

One word was all it was, but it was enough to send Jared flying through the air, he landed with a thud.

"UUuggghhhh, cheap shot, that was a cheap shot..." Jared managed to moan as he struggled to his feet.

"You just don't give up, do you?" Deraj said as he began walking towards his counterpart.

Jared's mind began swimming, he needed to end this now, but he couldn't manage to string together a coherent thought, let alone a plan. He looked around and saw all of the agents struggling to fight their own individual battles, there was nobody to help him.

Jared gulped. He was going to have to throw everything he had at this guy. No plan, just power against power. He closed his eyes as he began to draw on his last remaining store of earth magic.

"C'mon now, you're done, just give up, you cannot win," Deraj taunted, loading his revolver.

Jared lifted the Boomhammer. He had tried using it against his foe, and it hadn't worked. He had tried using Earth magic, and it hadn't worked, but he hadn't tried both at the same time.

"Validus pango, attero meus hostilis! Pangea!" Jared shouted as he lifted the hammer above his head and slammed it into the ground.

Deraj's eyes widened as a shockwave tore through the ground heading right towards him, trailing a cloud of dust.

"Any chance that we could talk this out?" He asked right before he was hit by the combination earth, sound attack.

There was a mighty sonic boom that silenced those who heard it. Everybody looked to where Deraj had been, only to see a dust cloud rising ominously. Jared dropped his exhausted hammer, it faded away into nothing as the very energies that held it together were used up.

For a moment that seemed like an eternity, Jared just stood there, saying nothing. Everyone just watched him.

Except for one.

"You missed." Deraj hissed through a mouthful of cracked and broken teeth as he poped out of the ground behind Jared and pistol whipped him in the back of the head. Jared noiselessly feel to the ground, already unconscious. Deraj flung him over his shoulder and picked up a pair of car keys. Toytanya pulled up from around the corner and opened it's doors. Deraj quickly threw Jared in the backseat, got in and drove into a Plothole.

"Stop him!" Chloe shouted rushing after them, but it was too late. The Plothole had already closed.

"Package secure! We're done here. Everybody return to base!" Resta shouted as she opened up a Plothole.

The ACMSES briefly tried to attack the retreating agents. Only to be avoided and ignored as they disappeared into Plotholes.

"He's gone," Chloe cried, "They have him..."

Insert Septuplet Superweapon Here

When Tyler woke up, he was in a cell. Not very original, I know, but if I don't post, the dude with a cattle prod sitting behind me pokes. Anyway, Tyler was in a cell. He noticed that instead of bars, blocking his exit by walking were… lasers. I kid you not. A crisscross pattern of laser beams barred the opening to the outside world. Tyler stared around the cell, and noted, oddly enough, that all of his weapons were scattered around him. He quickly picked them up and stuffed them in his pocket. A moment later, a figure appeared in front of him. It resembled that Uber-Stu from the RomeoxJuliet fandom. Instead of swords, though, it was holding a tray of food. It wore a disappointed expression.

"I joined this army to destroy the Society, not feed them," it whined. A small opening formed in the lasers, and the Stu shoved in the tray. Tyler grabbed the tray eagerly, and downed the entire contents, which were a glass of milk and a PBJ sandwich. He also ate the sandwich wrappings, the glass, and the tray. He then burped. The Uber-Stu turned a light shade of green.

"That's disgusting…"

Tyler nodded.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I probably shouldn't chew with my mouth open." He proceeded to do just that. The Stu turned a deeper green. Finally the Agent swallowed his food. He then spat out the bits of crushed glass. The Stu turned the delightful color of lettuce after being excreted by a lizard (believe me, I know what I'm talking about), then vomited off to one side. Tyler smirked.

"So, wanna play Twenty Questions?"

The Stu frowned.

"I'm not to fraternize with the prisoners!"

"Aw, come on. You know you want to."

"No I don't!"

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves-,"

"Shut up!"

"I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Play Twenty Questions!"

"No!"

"It's, a small world, after, all! It's, a small world, aaaaafter all! It's, a small world, aaaaaafter all! It's a small world-,"

"-You can't blackmail me!"

"On further insight, I believe I am doing just that."

"Please shut up?"

"Please play Twenty Questions?"

"NO! I'm leaving!" And without any further ado, the Stu did just that. Tyler grinned and leaned back against the wall of his cell. The grin quickly vanished when he remembered the cell part.

"Well, I seem to be in a pickle."

A few seconds later….

"Holy muffins! Did I really just use the word 'pickle' to describe something other than a vegetable?"

And later…

"Okay, seriously, can we get to something relevant? I'm bored."

Fine, fine.

A figure walked into the cell area. Tyler took a moment to look up from where he had been playing with a few chemicals he had brought with him to the Society. At the moment, he was manipulating a phial of Explodium, the most unstable substance in the known universe. When he looked up, he immediately looked down, rubbed his eyes, blinked a few times, then looked up again. No luck. Aster's counterpart stubbornly refused to not exist. Tyler groaned.

"I'm assuming your name is Retsa?"

"Right."

"And that you're a genius."

"Also true."

"And that you hate all anime and manga."

"Stop making correct guesses about me!"

"Fine. Now, any particular reason for leaving my weapons here in my cell?"

"Well, they're useless here, because we set up the cell specifically to hold Society members, and it's a pain to find some secret hiding place for them. This ship isn't good for that kind of thing."

Tyler blinked.

"That's… surprisingly sensible for a villain."

"We're not the villains! We're trying to bring perfection to the multiverse!"

"Explain your sanity."

"Huh?"

"In this kind of universe, the good guys are all insane. It's a law of nature!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, in any form of TV show or book series-,"

"-DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT THOSE! THEY ARE ALL WORTHLESS!"

"Oh, right, forgot about your anti-fanism. Sorry. Anyway, in TV shows and book series, if there's a big group of main characters, the rules clearly state that they're all a little insane. However, we, the ACMSES, are the insane ones. Therefore, you are the villains."

"Um… that really made no sense."

"EXACTLY!" Tyler jumped up with a scream, startling Retsa. "It makes no sense! Everything you PCMSPS Agents say makes sense… well, almost… so you can't be the heroes!"

"What do we say that doesn't make sense?"

"The bit about bringing perfection. Sooo… you're not arguing the rest?"

"No. If what we're doing is wrong…who cares? It's fun, and besides, you seem to be ignoring the law that states that Evil Counterparts always believe that what they're the heroes and the Good Counterparts are the villains."

"Here, have a lampshade."

"Thanks…?"

"What? That's what I'm supposed to do whenever I can!"

"Huh?"

"Okay, hard to explain. Either way, how do you know the Law of Good and Evil Counterparts?"

"I watched Spider-Man 3, played Kingdom Hearts, and read comics of every superhero with an evil counterpart. When you're an Evil Counterpart, stuff like that is highly informative of what not to do."

Tyler blinked.

"Um…okay….sure…."

Retsa seemed to have made up her mind about something.

"I have deemed you too insane to gain any information from simply talking until you spill something."

"Well, I already drank my milk, what would I spill?"

"Information on the Society."

"I don't know anything about the Society besides what we do."

"What?"

"Well, I'm me. Do I look like the kind of person who would care about any secrets?"

"Yes."

"True. But I haven't found any."

"We have good torture methods, you know."

"I didn't, actually. But I have better ones, and all of them can be brought into play while the torturer is being tortured."

"Are you willing to bet on that?"

"Are you?"

"Yes."

"Ah. Figured. Either way, I can drive any given torturer insane before they can walk across the room."

"I could just kill you right now."

"I could come back as a ghost."

"I don't believe in ghosts."

"I don't believe you could kill me."

"You want to take that chance?"

"Sure, why not?"

"GAH!"

"What?"

"You're driving me insane!"

Tyler blinked.

"Well… yeah. That's the point."

"ARGH!"

"Don't scream, you'll rip a vocal chord."

"What?"

"If you scream too much, you'll rip a vocal chord. That's a fact."

"Really?"

"No idea. Can you leave me alone now?"

"Um… no."

"I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND IT'S A SMALL SMALL WORLD!"

"Okay, okay, I'll leave!"

After Retsa left, Tyler sat back against the far wall of his cell.

"Okay, that went badly. I didn't even get her to start screaming her evil plan at me." Tyler grabbed his various weapons, shoved them into his pouch, and stood up.

"Okay, let's see if this works like it's supposed to." He drew a fist back, aiming at the wall.

"Tyler... PUNCHHHHHHHHHH!" A blue aura exploded around his fist, as he shot forward and punched the wall. For a moment, he stayed there, suspended in an improbable pose. Then, his eyes bugged out, and he jumped back, clutching his hand.

"OWOWOWOWOWOW!"

-

Elsewhere in the PCMSPS base…

Retsa stalked in circles around the recreation room. Giving her a wide berth were Relyt, Ekard, several Sues and Stus, and another figure, who looked exactly like Valerie, but with a cruel smile stretched across her face, almost as if it was painted on. Every so often, one of the three would push a Sue or Stu over towards Retsa, who would instantly obliterate it. Finally Retsa slowed to a halt, still occasionally evaporating the odd Sue or Stu with a blast of something resembling fire, although in all the history of the PCMSPS, no one had ever seen water put it out. Actually, for that matter, none of Retsa's abilities worked according to how they should. Light would refuse to reflect off mirrors, earth was watertight, sun rays wouldn't be stopped by sunblock. Either way, Retsa began to speak.

"Someone get the list of Agents not to be interrogated."

One of the Sues disappeared, reappearing a second later with a piece of paper. Retsa took it, killed the Sue, and began to read.

"Adrian: too powerful... Aster: too stupid..."

"Really? How do you know she's not pretending?" Ekard interrupted.

"Mm… because I'm a genius."

"How do we know you're not pretending?"

"Quiet. Anyway... Christoph: too honorable... Shirley: too violent... Now, I can add one more to the list - Tyler: too annoying."

Retsa looked up.

"This idiot we managed to capture-,"

"-We?" Relyt interrupted.

"Shut up. Anyway, this idiot knows nothing."

Relyt spoke up.

"Couldn't we just make opposite assumptions to our base? I mean, if they're-,"

Relyt suddenly found himself neck-deep in a cone of rock. One rock jabbed up into his throat menacingly. Relyt tried not to gulp.

"Couldn't you try to remember why I'm the leader of the Protection Society? Maybe it's because of my ability to defeat any one, or for that matter, two of you in a fair fight? Or maybe because I supplied most of this technology, making me capable of altering the insides of this ship by blinking? Or maybe, just maybe, it's because I'm the most intelligent one here? Hmm?"

Relyt was slowly turning blue in an attempt to avoid breathing and impaling his throat.

"Point… taken…."

"Good." The rock shattered, and Relyt collapsed to the ground. Ekard snickered. Relyt stood up and shot the armored Agent a dirty look. Ekard was about to respond in kind when the room rocked, flinging everyone in the room to the ground.

-

In the skies of the Halo universe….

Two pods slammed into the surface of a large ship. These pods were the trademark of the Orbital Drop Shock Troopers, the paratroopers of the humans of the future. The ODST were the highest non-SPARTAN soldiers in the UNSC, the United Nations Space Command. They were the strongest, the best, the-

Drake and Christoph stepped out of the pods. Somewhere else, an author blinked. They weren't the ODST. Oops.

Anyway, Drake and Christoph stepped out of the pods. They looked around.

"Weren't there supposed to be a few more Agents here?" Drake wondered.

"They said so, but I don't see-GAH!" Christoph dove to one side as another two pods slammed down where he had been a moment earlier. The pods opened, and Adrian stepped out of one, followed by Tash from the other. The four Agents looked around.

"The Sueish signal was coming from here… but I don't see anything…" Adrian remarked.

"Just out of curiousity, how are we alive right now?" Tash asked. "There shouldn't be any air."

Christoph raised a hand.

"Over there, Lady Tash."

Tash looked. There was a huge sign on the ship reading "Air Bubbles and Co." Tash blinked.

"Oh."

Another pod slammed down, releasing Willie. Another dropped in, and Aster stepped out onto the ship. Then a rain of pods fell from the sky.

Tash blinked.

"I don't remember sending in any more Agents than this…"

"The extra pods are mainly for dramatic effect," replied Adrian.

"Doesn't that mean we should take cover?" asked Willie.

The eyes of every Agent on the ship widened. Then they did just that.

-

Tyler was being thrown around his cell. After the first three jolts, he had started playing a game; avoid being fried by the lasers. Okay, maybe "game" is not the right word here. Maybe, "necessity?" Meh, I don't have anything. Feel free to make something up here.

Finally the shaking stopped, and Tyler was dropped to the floor, or at least he thought it was the floor. He slowly stood up… then the world flipped and he fell back on his butt.

"Ow… hey, why didn't the lasers turn off? I DEMAND MY EPIC MOVIE RIGHTS!"

A voice spoke over a loudspeaker, and I thanked the Department of Redundancy Department for their help.

"The emergency power generators are in place."

"DAMN YOU FACELESS VOICE!"

An Uber-Sue and Uber-Stu were guarding the entrance. As they shakily stood, Christoph suddenly appeared behind them, and slammed a fist into the back of their heads. They dropped like a rock. Christoph then began to button-mash a control panel to the right of Tyler's cell. In the ten seconds it took for the cell bars to disengage, Christoph also succeeded in disabling the internal weapons system through the ship, making the whole rescue mission a lot easier. The two raced through the ship, and then…

"Halt in the name of Retsa!"

Tyler gulped.

"RUN FASTER!" Tyler and Christoph shot through the ship, finally spinning around a corner into the… kitchen? They quickly barred the door.

About a minute later…

"Okay! You can come in now!" chorused the Society Agents.

Outside, a voice rang out.

"Not a chance! You're waiting to kill us in there!"

"Please?"

"NEVER!"

"We have cake…"

A different voice resounded from outside the kitchen. It sounded younger.

"Cake? Cool!" Instantly the door exploded inward as an Uber-Stu smashed through it. Before he could continue, though, an eight-pound cake slammed into his head. FATALITY.

Tyler pointed at the dead Stu.

"The cake is a half-truth!"

Christoph frowned.

"Don't you mean that the cake is a lie?"

"But it's not a lie! There was cake, but instead of giving it to him, we killed him with it! That makes it a half-truth!"

One of the Sues coughed.

"Excuse me, but aren't you going to fight us?"

"Oops. Sorry." The two Society Agents took a fighting stance. And so, the fight began.

Christoph instantly sent a hail of shuriken into the Sues and Stus, killing some, and wounding others. Tyler lunged forward and took down half the remainder with arcs of energy and staff strikes. The Uber-Sues and Stus tried to scatter, but Christoph struck at lightning speed with his ninjato, finishing off all but one, who parried and knocked Christoph away.

"Ha! You fools think you can defeat me? I am Uber-Stu, a-,"

"-general in The Clichéd Army, I know."

"Hey!"

Uber-Stu lunged at Tyler and Christoph, drawing a pair of swords and slashing at their heads. The Agents dived to the side, jumping up and striking.

"Too slow!" Uber-Stu spun with amazing speed, blocking the staff and ninjato strikes. Tyler jumped back, already preparing an energy bolt, as Christoph snuck a shuriken from his belt and stabbed it into Uber-Stu. The Stu let out a cry of pain and stumbled back, barely managing to block a series of magic blasts from Tyler. He was abut to lunge when Christoph appeared out of nowhere and slammed him over the head with the hilt of the ninjato.

"Ow…." The Uber Stu stumbled around, before snapping his head up and resuming a fighting stance.

"Ha! That attack did nothing! I'll still beat all four of you!"

Tyler and Christoph exchanged glances. The Uber-Stu still seemed weavy. Tyler and Christoph took the only option available.

Several minutes later…

"Is he still dizzy?"

A loud "thwack!" sounded from where Christoph was watching the Stu.

"Yes."

"Okay… done!"

Tyler and Christoph ran to the far end of the room, letting the Uber-Stu recover. The Stu slowly shook its head, then noticed Tyler and Christoph. He charged….

Uber-Stu tripped over a tripwire (And my bill to the Department of Redundancy Department increased). Said tripwire yanked down a pair of paperweights off pedestals, dropping them onto a balloon ring. The balloons pushed air into the pedestals, firing up two foam rockets. The rockets hit balloons on the ceiling, which pushed air into a holder holding a sharp knife, which fell onto Uber-Stu's head, killing him.

Christoph blinked.

"Ah… that was surprisingly easy."

Tyler smirked.

"Apparently each and every Uber-Sue or Stu is a general. On the other hand, none of them are very good fighters."

"Ah."

"Now, is anyone else here?"

"Yes."

"Okay."

"Anyway, they said to bring you to the main recreation room so we can get back to the Library."

"Do you know where said recreation room is?"

"Mm… no. We entered into the sickroom, and at least managed to destroy any medications they might have had though."

"So, we're supposed to meet at a place we can't-,"

Tyler was interrupted by a loud explosion. He exchanged glances with Christoph.

"Never mind." They ran toward the explosion.

-

In a large room, easily several hundred yards long, a war was starting. PCMSPS and ACMSES Agents clashed swords, spears, staves, and fists. Uber-Sue or Stu after Uber-Sue or Stu piled in, only to be cut down, incinerated, pummeled, and stabbed.

-

Drake locked spears with Ekard, pushing the doppelganger away and swinging around to disintegrate a group of Uber-Sues before spinning around to parry a lethal blow.

"You guys can't give us a break, can you?"

"We probably could, but what fun would that be?"

"Not much, but you could at least not kidnap our Agents."

"That was Relyt, not me."

"Whatever!" Drake knocked Ekard's spear to one side, then punched him in the face. Ekard stumbled back, and a trio of Uber-Sues or Stus instantly took his place. Drake growled in frustration.

"Slicing Gale!" The energy boomerangs sliced through two of the Ubers, but the third leapt over them, stabbing at Drake. The Agent parried, and tried to stab, but the Sue was too close. Drake settled for whacking it away. It rolled up with a hiss, and Drake lunged, stabbing it through the chest and killing it.

"Drought Kick!" Drake spun around just in time to dodge Ekard's kick. Ekard rolled up to his feet, and the duel continued.

-

Willie dived around a group of Ubers, and came up in time to watch his counterpart slam into them, knocking them down. He grinned.

"You could use lessons in stopping. Might not hurt your own team as much. On second thought, don't take lessons. Keep helping me."

Eilliw stood shakily.

"I've injured you too a few times, you know."

Willie examined his shoulder, where a few drops of blood were inching down his arm.

"You call this an injury? I've gotten worse from parakeets."

"Try this then!"

Eilliw whipped out a small cube and tapped a button on it. The cube expanded into a shield, which proceeded to fire a hail of lasers at Willie. The Agent parried them with his sword, then lunged and slashed.

Eilliw jumped back, and tapped the button on his shield again. The shield morphed into a mace, and Willie had to backstep to avoid being pulped. Eilliw grinned and tapped another button. Immediately the spikes on the mace shot towards Willie, who grabbed a pair of Uber-Sues, using them as human…or maybe Suish shields. Eilliw snarled as the mace transformed yet again, this time into a shotgun. He pointed at Willie and fired.

"Whoa!" Willie dived to the ground, yanking another Stu in as a shield. "You could hurt someone!"

"That's the idea!" Eilliw readied the gun, but before he could fire, Willie threw one of the disintegrating Stus at him. The motes of light blinded him long enough for Willie to lunge forward and punch him hard in the face, knocking him to the ground.

-

Christoph and Tyler were running through the ship, almost to the room where the explosion had come from, when…

"Die!"

Tyler spun in time to block Relyt's strike and push him away. Several meters away, Christoph had run into his own copy. Said copy appeared to be a samurai of some sort. He had a katana in his right hand, and a wakizashi in his belt. The doppelganger lunged at Christoph, who dodged and flung several shuriken.

Meanwhile, Tyler and Relyt were firing energy blasts, pulses, and in Tyler's case, grenades. Finally, Relyt's shield didn't flare up fast enough, and the PCMSPS Agent was flung into the fighting room. Naturally, Tyler followed.

Christoph blocked a strike from Hpotsirhc, then spun and slashed, throwing several shuriken at the same time. Hpotsirhc blocked the slash, but two shuriken lodged in his side, eliciting a yelp of pain. Christoph followed up by kicking his double into the big fight room, then leapt in after him.

-

Retsa sent a fireball screaming towards her target, which at the moment was Aster. The fae dodged and fired a series of icicles in retaliation. Retsa simply formed a shield of rock, then turned her attention to an incoming Adrian. Retsa swung her staff, and there was a screech of metal on metal as it collided with Hoshikuzu. Retsa growled in annoyance and snapped her fingers. Immediately a flash of light blinded Adrian momentarily. Retsa took another swing, this time knocking Adrian backwards. Retsa prepared a lethal fireball. Just as she was about to hurl it…

"Juari-Ken - Rinwi!"

"Hm?" Retsa turned just as Tash slammed into her feet-first, sending her flying. As she turned to fire a storm of rock needles, a shout emanated from behind her.

"Librarian Secret Art: Boot to the Head!"

Adrian appeared from nowhere and kicked Retsa in the head, knocking her down. The PCMSPS leader jumped back up and prepared to obliterate the Librarian with a firestorm when a mini-hurricane picked her up, spinning her around and slamming her back down. Retsa stood again, in time to see the three Agents closing in on her. Retsa sighed. Before the Agents could attack, a group of Ubers had intercepted them. In the time it took for the Ubers to be defeated (1.1 seconds) Retsa had taken out a small control panel and pressed a large red button. Then the floor opened, revealing that the ship was over a desert/wasteland, and everyone fell.

-

Drake fell through the air, still exchanging blows with Ekard and the occasional Uber.

"Storm Punch!" Drake slammed a fist into Ekard, sending him flying, but immediately a squad of Ubers appeared in front of him. After disposing of them, he noticed Ekard propelling himself back in.

"Slicing Gale!" The energy boomerangs struck Ekard, slowing him down. Ekard growled in frustration. Without any earth to speak of, most of his attacks were unusable.

"Drought Punch!" Ekard punched the nearest Uber, sending it flying at Drake. Ekard grinned as he heard the "thunk!" that alerted him to his attack's success.

-

Eilliw fired shot after shot of everything he could think of at Willie, but the Agent just kept deflecting the attacks and continuing in. Just as Willie was about to deliver a deathblow, Eilliw switched the raygun into a club and swung hard. Willie blocked, but was still knocked back by the force of the blow. As he righted himself, he quickly retaliated.

"Water Scythe!" Willie slashed the air in an intricate shape, and as the slash finished, the pattern glowed a watery blue for a moment. The next moment, it shifted into a scythe of water and slashed at Eilliw. The counterpart tapped a button, and the mace turned into a shield. The water scythe slashed across it, leaving a deep gash in the metal. Willie growled and prepared another attack.

"Fire Slash!" Willie slashed the air again, but this time the pattern glowed a fiery orange, before settling around Willie's sword in an explosion of flame. Willie slashed at his double, and this time the force of the blow sent Eilliw flying back. Willie grinned, before propelling himself of a nearby Uber-Stu to deliver the finisher.

-

Retsa floated downwards, launching fireballs, rock needles, and flashes at Adrian, Tash, and Aster. Said three were doing their best to avoid being skewered and roasted.

"Why can't you all just die!" Retsa launched fireball after fireball at Adrian, but was intercepted by an explosion of ice and wind. She tumbled back before regaining balance and firing a burst of blinding light at Aster. The fae dodged, and a set of encyclopedias fell from nowhere and sent Retsa groundward. As she burned through the books and rose back up…

"...Abari!" Tash slammed into the PCMSPS leader from above, and Retsa slammed into the ground.

-

Tyler dropped down, formed a platform of energy, and leapt off it, slamming into Relyt and sending the PCMSPS Agent spiraling towards the ground. As Tyler was diving down for the coup de grace, Relyt sent up a blast of energy, blasting his double high into the air. As Tyler descended past his counterpart, Relyt caught his ankle with an energy loop and yanked him back up. Before Relyt could land a blow, Tyler shot past him, grabbing the rope of energy and yanking on it. Relyt shot up into the air, met Tyler's foot, and dropped back down. With a sizzle, the rope disappeared. Without any support, Tyler fell towards the ground.

Relyt stored energy, before flipping to fall feet first and propelling himself back up at Tyler, slamming into the falling Agent and carrying him back skyward.

-

Christoph hurled a shuriken at Hpotsirhc, who deflected it off the katana. The two were having a large problem with their fight. As Hpotsirhc wasn't willing to bring in Ubers, neither had any methods of propulsion. Now while most would say this gave Christoph the advantage, as he had ranged weapons, Hpotsirhc was incredibly good at blocking them. Then they noticed that they were approaching the ground. Hpotsirhc grinned evilly.

"Soon we'll reach the ground, and then nothing will stop me from finishing you!"

Christoph raised an eyebrow.

"Won't we both be dead?"

"No. The physics of this game will keep us alive."

"Odd…"

"Greatly."

Then they landed, and the battle began.

-

Drake and Ekard stood from where they had landed, looking around. Immediately, both pairs of eyes focused on a large jeep with an open top and a vicious-looking turret. They both ran for it, but Ekard reached the jeep first, shouldering Drake to one side and leaping into the vehicle. Immediately the turret spun, pointing forward, and directly at Drake. The blue-clad Society Agent whipped his cape around himself just in time to block the stream of bullets loosed from the turret and send them ricocheting off in every direction. Several Ubers, attempting to assist Ekard, were blown away by the firepower, reduced to nothing more than a red mist. Drake took the opportunity to run. By the time the mist had dissipated and Ekard had swiveled the jeep to follow Drake, the Agent had disappeared into a rock formation. Ekard lowered the power, cautiously following Drake. As Ekard turned a corner to check behind the formation…

"Storm Punch!" Drake exploded out of a well-concealed foxhole, slamming an energy-charged fist into Ekard's vehicle. The jeep flipped end over end before Ekard untangled himself and Drought Kicked it away. Ekard rolled to his feet, and both Agents produced spears from nowhere, lunging at each other.

"Slicing Gale!"

"Erupting Earth!"

Blue energy boomerangs whipped out towards Ekard, while a red arc of energy lashed towards Drake. The attacks collided, forming a glowing purple blob for a moment, before exploding and sending both Agents flying backwards. As they jumped back up, a pair of pods slammed down onto the sand.

"What the-," Drake didn't have time to finish his sentence before the pods opened, releasing a dozen Uber-Sues and Stus. Drake groaned in annoyance before charging.

-

Back up in the PCMSPS ship…

"I want to use the big cannon!"

"You got the big cannon last time!"

"So?"

"So it's my turn!"

"So?"

"So give me the big cannon!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Give me the big cannon!" A PCMSPS Agent who appeared to be exactly like Chrys, although with black ears, spun around, walked over to a control panel, and plopped down. The anti-Valerie let out a yell of indignation.

"Hey! I wanted to use the big cannon!"

"You can have the multi-cannon!"

"The big cannon is more fun!"

"Is not!"

"Then why do you want it?"

"Because I am a nice person who wants the best for you?"

"Yeah, right." Eirelav pushed Syrhc out of the chair and sat down.

"Hey!" Syrhc pushed against Eirelav, but the Protection Society Agent refused to budge.

"You…got….the….big….cannon….last….time!" Finally, Syrhc pushed Eirelav out of the chair.

"You little-," Eirelav stood, preparing to evict Syrhc once again, when a voice appeared from the corner.

"Can you keep it down? I'm trying to listen to music!"

"And stop fighting, it's wrong!" Two heads poked out into the weapons room. One belonged to an Agent named Ssej. The other belonged to Yzzo, or, as many of the other Agents referred to her, Asso. As soon as they were finished reprimanding the two, the heads disappeared. Syrhc turned to Eirelav.

"Remind me, why do we put up with them?"

"Well, Yzzo is good at firing the pods-,"

"-Is that what she's doing?"

"Yes. And Ssej's IPod is hooked up to the autocannon. Every time she presses a button, it fires."

"Hard to dodge random shots."

"Exactly."

"Now, I'm keeping the big cannon!"

"No!"

"Okay, all of you, what's going on?" Another Agent, this one a carbon copy of Karissa, stepped into the room. Immediately, Eirelav and Syrhc both began speaking at once.

"Iwantthebigcannonbutshewon''tgiveitto…!"

"SHUT UP!" Assirak screamed.

Eirelav and Syrhc promptly did so.

"I'm taking the big cannon. Eirelav, you get the multi-cannon. Syrhc, you can have the other multi-cannon."

"Since when are you our-," Syrhc began, when Assirak grabbed her by the throat and suspended her a foot off the ground.

"Since I said so. Now go do your job." Assirak dropped the other PCMSPS Agent, who quickly ran to the third control panel. Eirelav grumbled before walking over to her assigned control panel.

"I get the big cannon next time."

"Whatever. Do your job."

-

"Random Magic Blast!" A trio of Ubers exploded into motes of light and Tyler grinned. He turned his attention back to Relyt.

"So… you were saying?"

"Not much. Just that maybe you should duck."

"Hm? Why would I… HOLY MUFFINS!" Tyler took a flying leap to avoid the giant green laser that slammed down where he had been standing a moment ago. The beam plowed forward for about fifty feet, leaving a trail of glass and dust in its wake. By the time the dust had cleared, Relyt had gone, and half-a-dozen Ubers had replaced it. Tyler groaned.

"Do I really have to keep killing you guys?"

One of the Ubers spoke.

"I shall answer your question with a question. Do you play Yugioh?"

"Occasionally."

"Well, we activate Reinforcement of the Army."

Several pods fell from the sky, slamming into the ground and kicking up a dust cloud. As the cloud faded, Tyler made out the shadows of at least two dozen Ubers. He did the only sensible thing. He formed a gigantic sail and crest of energy, created energy fangs, and roared at the top of his lungs. Several of the Ubers shrank back. Then a good deal of them turned and ran. The others fainted. Tyler smirked.

"I chain Threatening Roar." He didn't have much time to celebrate, though, as a pod of pods rained down, releasing many more Ubers. Tyler sighed.

"I don't suppose I could scare you away?"

"Hm… no."

"Drat." Tyler prepared a grenade, tossed it forwards, and charged.

-

"Dance of the Dust Whirlwind!"

A sand and rock storm whipped up, knocking Eilliw to the ground and opening several cuts. The Protection Society Agent stood shakily before tapping the button on his weapon. The mace morphed into a box with three wires extending from it. Before Willie could wonder what it did, Eilliw threw a switch on the side. The wires hummed with energy and slashed at the ground. Immediately, the sand rose from the ground, magnetized by the weapon. Eilliw whipped the wires around, trailing the cloud of sand before lashing it at Willie. As the sand was about to reach the nearest point to Willie, Eilliw threw the switch again. This time, the magnetic force of the wires disappeared, leaving the sand magnetic. Unfortunately, the nearest magnetic object had just become Willie's sword. The sand shot forward, hitting the sword with surprising force and knocking it away. Eilliw grinned.

"Now, prepare to-,"

Suddenly, a rain of laser bolts and Uber-pods rained from the sky. Eilliw hesitated a moment. Willie smirked.
"Too late." He dove for his sword, rolling up and slashing the air. "Heaven's Barrier!"

The slash glowed pink, before forming a dome around Willie. Several lasers slammed into it, but did nothing. As the shield dissipated, Willie looked around. The odds appeared to be against him, seeing as there were at least thirty Ubers between him and Eilliw.

Good. That was how he liked it. He charged.

-

Christoph stabbed a shuriken forward, and was rewarded by a yell of pain from Hpotsirhc. The Protection Society member slashed with his katana, but Christoph backstepped, evading the attack.

"Hold still!" Hpotsirhc snapped, slashing again. Christoph's only response was to draw his ninjato and slash at Hpotsirhc's torso. Hpotsirhc smirked.

"Wrong move." The Agent drew the wakizashi, spun it once to deflect the ninjato, then slotted it back into his belt. The parry caught Christoph off guard, long enough for Hpotsirhc to slash across his shoulder. True to the game physics, Christoph suffered no ill effects other then stumbling back.

"Die!" Hpotsirhc took the initiative, lunging forward and stabbing. Christoph grinned.

"Wrong move." Christoph hurled shuriken, but Hpotsirhc simply deflected them. The ninja charged, leaping into the air and striking down with the ninjato, but Hpotsirhc parried. Finally, Christoph dropped down, swiping out with one leg. This time, there were no blocks. Hpotsirhc stumbled, Christoph added a push, and the samurai fell flat on his face.

Christoph smirked. Then he heard three loud thumps from behind him. He spun, just in time to watch two dozen Ubers scuttle out of the pods.

"Maybe I should look into wide-ranging weaponry…"

Christoph charged.

-

"Librarian Art 2: A Thousand Words in an Instant!" Adrian appeared next to Retsa, even as the Protection Society leader formed a cone of rock. After the attack was finished, said cone of rock had been nicely carved.

"Juari-Ken - Tairosen!" Tash slammed into the sculpture, not breaking through, but giving it an interesting texture.

"Um… Tempest Wave!" A blast of wind and water slammed into the sculpture, shaping it further.

Sadly, this work of art in progress was destroyed as Retsa released an explosion of power, sending shrapnel flying at the three Agents.

"Librarian Art 6: Shield of Silence!" The shards of rock bounced off an invisible barrier.

Tash swiped the air with her staff, and an explosion of flames deflected the rock shards.

Aster pointed at the rocks, which changed into blobs of water, which dissipated into the air. Then all three Agents charged.

"Librarian Art 9: Pillars of Knowledge!" Pillars ripped through the ground, looming over Retsa for a moment before slamming down.

"Juari-Ken - Doryuta!" Tash leapt into the air, then dropped down, slamming a flaming staff onto Retsa's head.

"Yah!" Aster charged, then jumped up and swung her staff down onto Retsa's head…

"PERISH!"

Before any of the attacks could connect, Retsa raised her staff, which emitted a huge bolt of white light, blasting all three attacks…and Agents…backwards. As Adrian, Tash, and Aster rose shakily, Retsa spun the staff once before slamming the base onto the ground.

"Now, let the true battle….begin."

-

"Yah!" Drake swung his spear at the last of the Ubers, a burst of blue energy destroying them.

"Congratulations." Drake spun around, slashing at his double. Ekard parried before jumping back.

"Erupting Earth!"

"Slicing Gale!"

The attacks slammed into each other, and a purple shockwave radiate out from them.

"Damn… I was hoping to finish you off with that… Drought Kick!" Ekard leapt forward, and Drake barely caught the blow on his spear. Even so, the force of the kick sent him stumbling back.

"Why won't you die? Drought Punch!"

"Storm Punch!"

The energy-charged blows collided, forming another purple shockwave which sent the two fighters flying backwards. Drake leapt to his feet, already attacking.

"Slicing…"

"Erupting…"

"GALE!"

"EARTH!"

Two huge blasts of energy, one red, one purple, shot towards each other. When they connected, it was the catalyst for an explosion Tyler would have envied, enveloping their section of the battlefield in a cloud of smoke.

-

"Bolero of Steam!" A blast of white-hot steam evaporated a group of Ubers, and Willie turned back to Eilliw at lightning speed, slashing his sword in another shape.

"Wood Imprisonment!" Spikes of wood appeared out of nowhere, arranging themselves into a cage around Eilliw.

"Wrong!" Eilliw's weapon transformed into a huge mace, slamming into the bars of the cage, shattering them, and sending slivers flying at Willie.

"Hmph!" Willie waved his sword, and an explosion of black flames burned the wood to ashes. "Hellfire!"

The black flames gathered again, before blasting out at Eilliw. The PCMSPS Agent barely had time to transform his weapon into a shield when the attack hit. Eilliw stumbled back, but quickly retaliated by forming a laser bazooka and firing.

"Gah!" Willie swung his sword, and a burst of dark energy struck the laser, shattering it like a pane of glass. Eilliw snarled before firing again, then launching a rocket.

"Die!" Willie slashed the air, and a shockwave of hellfire blasted out, hitting the rocket and laser.

"Grr…" Eilliw fired one more time, this time the rocket and laser accompanied by a small sphere of metal. Once more Willie countered with a blast of hellfire, and…

KABOOM!

-

"Die!" A grenade hit the last of the Ubers, blasting them out of existence. Tyler smirked.

"See, Relyt, this is why you don't underestimate the power of explosives."

"Aw, you stole that from Star Wars!"

"Did not! Star Wars says, 'This will show you not to underestimate the power of the Dark Side!' And besides, I'm on the Light Side!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too and I'll prove it!" Without further ado, Tyler fired a blue energy bolt, whacking Relyt in the face.

"Ow!"

"See? See? That proves it! My attacks are blue, green, and purple! That makes me the good guy!"

"Whaaat? I refuse to accept that assessment of the situation."

"So what? You can't fight the facts!"

"Why not?"

"Because."

"That's stupid!"

"So is ticking off a bloodthirsty halfling."

"Eh… touche."

"Right! I. Am. The. Good. Guy. Admit it!"

"Never!"

"Then be whacked by a ping-pong paddle!" Tyler lunged, and before Relyt could move, he had been smacked upside the head by Tyler's ping-pong paddle.

"So there."

"You… are going to pay for that!" Relyt generated a huge sphere of energy and flung it at Tyler. Tyler responded with a grenade. The result was predictable.

-

"I am the dark void. I am the cold steel. I am the just sword. I am-, "

"Get on with it!" The Uber screamed in annoyance.

"Hmm?"

The Uber paled, realizing Christoph hadn't actually been talking to him, and in fact, probably hadn't even noticed him until now.

"Ulp…!"

"Die." Christoph stabbed forward with a sai, and the Stu's life ended. Along with his state as solid matter, seeing as he promptly exploded into motes of light.

"Good, good. If you weren't a member of the Other Society, I might suggest to Retsa that you be enlisted."

Christoph spun to face Hpotsirhc. "And what makes you think there is any chance I would join?"

"Nothing. I'd still suggest it."

"Hmph." Christoph grabbed a shuriken from nowhere, flinging it at Hpotsirhc. Only Hpotsirhc's quick reflexes prevented him from dying painfully. Hpotsirhc lunged, and Christoph barely brought his sais up in time to parry. Hpotsirhc spun, attacking again, but this time Christoph simply leapt back and flung another shuriken. Hpotsirhc blocked again. He prepared to lunge, Christoph reached for a shuriken.

Swp. Swp. Swp. Christoph gulped.

"Out of shuriken? Oh well." Hpotsirhc grinned evilly, moving in for the kill, when…

"Squawk!"

"Huh?"

Algazdun slammed into Hpotsirhc from above, raking at his face. Hpotsirhc screamed in pain, although he managed to shield his eyes from harm.

"Gah! Get off, you stupid bird!" Hpotsirhc flailed around with his sword, attempting to connect, but Algazdun simply flapped away before swooping in again. Finally, the eagle let up his assault, and Hpotsirhc relaxed somewhat.

Then Christoph kicked him in the face, knocking him down.

-

"Juari-Ken...Doryuta!" The flaming strike sent Retsa flying into the air.

"Juari-Ken...Shinanori!" Retsa soared even higher into the air.

"Juari-Ken...Doryuto!" This time, the strike sent Retsa tumbling down towards the ground.

"Juari-Ken...Abari!" Tash dove down, slamming Retsa into the sand.

As Tash jumped back, Aster readied an attack.

"Hm… Conversion Beam!" A burst of energy struck the ground under Retsa. Suddenly the sand became quicksand, and Retsa began to sink.

"Uh-oh…"

"Librarian Art 9: Pillars of Knowledge!"

Retsa paled.

"Oh crap…"

SPLURTCH!

As the pillars crumbled, Retsa quickly gathered herself, barking out an order.

"All Protection Society members and Ubers, retreat! This is an order!" In a burst of light, Retsa disappeared.
Adrian, Tash, and Aster all hi-fived.

-

Ekard and Drake were trading spear and fist strikes, several Ubers attempting to intervene but being accidentally cut down by one of the two.

"Drought-,"

Then the sound of Retsa's command washed over their section of the battlefield. Ekard paused.

"I'd love to stick around to kill you, but I guess I can't just yet. See ya!"

With a burst of fire, Ekard vanished.

Drake blinked.

"That was… theatrical…"

-

Relyt fished the Wall of Offense out of his pocket.

"Prepare to-,"

"All Protection Society members and Ubers, retreat! This is an order!"

Relyt groaned.

"Look, can I at least kill him fi-,"

"Now!"

"Fine…" Relyt vanished in a shower of red light.

-

Willie raised his sword over Eilliw, preparing to deliver a finishing blow.

Then the two heard Retsa's order.

Eilliw smirked. "Bye."

As Willie's sword slammed down, Eilliw vanished in a shroud of crackling electricity.

"Damn it…"

-

Christoph pointed a sai at Hpotsirhc's throat.

"Are you ready to meet your maker?"

As Retsa's order swept over them, Hpotsirhc grinned.

"Maybe someday, Society Agent. But not yet."

With that, he disappeared in a burst of silver energy.

-

Up in the PCMSPS ship…

Retsa was screaming at a videoscreen.

"YOU IDIOT! THE NEGATIZER MAGNET FAILED! TWO OF THE LEADERS SHOWED UP!"

On the screen, a PCMSPS member who appeared to be the counterpart of Charis was slowly turning pale.

"W-w-well… I believe it may be one of the Society's rules… at least one leader must accompany Agents to a fandom such as this one..."

"Don't. Fail. Again. Am I making myself clear?"

"Y-yes…"

"Glad to hear it."

-

"Drake?"

"Here."

"Willie?"

"Here."

"Christoph?"

"Here."

"Tyler?"

"Here."

"Adrian?"

"…I'm standing next to you."

"It's standard procedure."

"I'm standing right here."

"We have to take attendance after missions like this, otherwise we might lose someone."

Adrian sighed.

"Whatever… here."

"Good." Tash put away the attendance list and opened a Plothole.

"Let's go home."