Saturday, October 29, 2011

Insert Dragon Rider With Oriental Features Here

The small fandom orbited the great multidimensional cosmos on the outer rim of the Games section. One could easily overlook it, there were far larger and far more popular fandoms around it, but fact was the fandom had caught the attention of one Stu. The lack of interest in writing for the fandom meant a lack of Sues, so he easily moved in and conquered the fandom and not even the Society noticed the plight of the small fandom.

Raven had chosen to build his fortress over a giant lake. It was a large castle, as castles tend to go with gargoyles and ravens carved into it. Around the black castle were several small buildings, the homes of Raven's soldiers.

A slew of creatures patrolled the massive walls around the lake. Humanoid creatures dressed in pants and two leather belts over there chest, wielding futuristic guns. Their heads extended out into a reptile-like snout and two rows of three mechanical spines jutted out of their backs with tubes running from the spines to the rest of the creatures' bodies. A hulking black monster with a long pink tongue, sharp white teeth, white patches for eyes, and a white spider symbol on his chest crouched on the railing of the wall. Boromir of Gondor stood next to Venom. Jak leaned against the inner railing, a furry orange rodent perched on his shoulder. The youth studied the darkening clouds with a grumpy expression.

White humanoid robots milled around just inside the wall, while several exhaustible organic creatures stood around, falling asleep at their posts. Elf archers and dwarf warriors out of Lord of the Rings, Agent Kay and Agent Jay of Men In Black, a cowboy resembling Clint Eastwood were just a few outside of the huts. This odd army was on alert because though Raven had conquered most of the fandom, he had left a small collection of the canon armies alive and rumor said that they had banded together.

Beside the massive castle's door hung a sign, declaring "Wanted! Lab Assistant! Tired of stepping into fandoms and conquering them? Want a less-demanding job? Then apply inside! No prior experience necessary."

Raven sighed as he sat behind the desk in his office. The head of a red dragon with a long snout and long bone-like horns hung on the wall behind him. Next to the dragon head was the snake-like head of some kind of green reptile and to the other side hung a large robot's head.

He could have just plucked some character out of a fandom to be his assistant like he had done in building his army, but he wanted someone almost on his own level, which meant a Sue. He hated most Sues and Stus though. Their huge ego would not allow them to be content as a mere lab assistant.

The Stu was considering building a lab assistant from scratch as if he had built Super-Sue when a short pink haired Sue with blue eyes entered the room. She looked lost for a moment, but caught sight of Raven sitting in his large comfortable armchair quickly enough.

"Are you here about the job?" Raven asked. The Sue smiled at him and the corners of Raven's mouth twitched upward for a moment. Three Sues had already shown up just to mock him for thinking of recruiting an assistant from their ranks. There were now three badly maimed and bloody corpses stuffed into his closet.

"Yep," the Sue chirped, her smile growing wider. "I always wanted to be a lab assistant! Or at least I think I did…"

Raven frowned. "Do you want the job or not?"

She flinched back from his harsh glare. "Yes, I do. Do you have health insurance?"

"Yes, it covers boot print removal, burn surgery, dental, Cliché Stick bites, any form of cancer provided you caught it from having a warhead dropped on you, being struck by an elemental magic-charged kick, a random blast of magic, or high explosives."

"Suppose I trip down a flight of stairs?"

"Then you're on your own."


"Henshin, Darkness."

"Wardrobe Change."

Pete and Drake both activated their respective armors. The two stood across from each other in one of the Library's training rooms. Several other agents and random background characters stood or sat around the mat. Some were betting Adrian's stolen chocolate on an outcome.

Pete slowly drew his sword, while Drake summoned his spear. Pete raised his sword, while Drake held his spear to the side. The two combatants charged and swung their weapons, steel clanged as they connected.

"Hey, guys! Mission briefing!" Tash said, stepping into the room.

Drake and Pete broke off their battle with identical exclamations of disappointment. The spectators also groaned, but they broke up and funneled towards the exit.

"Why did she pick now to barge into the room?" Drake asked as his armor vanished.

"Blame the author," Tyler said.

"We got a Sue in the Temeraire fandom-"

"I volunteer!" Everyone looked up from staring at the wall to find that Drake had jumped out of his seat and raised his hand. He was smiling like an excited little kid at Christmas.

"Okay," Tash nodded. "Since you're obviously familiar with the fandom and we don't have much on it, could you give us a quick rundown of it?"

"Sure," Drake said walking around to the front of the briefing room. "Okay, it starts out on the high seas with an English ship capturing a French-"

"Just a quick rundown, not a detailed summary of the entire series," Tash interrupted Drake now.

"Right," Drake blushed in embarrassment. "It's basically historical fiction, the Napoleonic Wars with air forces. Air forces composed of dragons, their riders, and crews. There are several different breeds of dragons, each suited to different tasks. You have heavy weights, mid weights, and light weights along with different species possessing different kinds of breathe abilities, the most prized being the fire breathers."

"So the Sue's going to try and become the Rider of a fire breather?" Adrian asked.

Drake shook his head. "No, the fire breathers are rare, but not so much that a Sue might want one. What she's probably after is a Celestial. There are only a handful of them in existence and they're very powerful dragons, bred by the Chinese."

"How difficult would it be to get a Celestial?" Adrian asked.

"Very," Drake said. "But unfortunately, there is a point in the story where a Celestial is left without a companion. Which part of the series has the Sue entered?"

"The second book," Tash replied after a quick glance at the piece of paper on the desk.

"Damn," Drake frowned. "That's exactly what she's up to."

"She's someone you've encountered before," Tash said. "Amanda Shoemaker Orlando Disney Seaworld."

"Ah, a familiar thorn-in-the-side," Drake frowned. "Better go find that Sue and disintegrate with extreme prejudice."

"You mean capture, right?" Tash asked with a stern glare.

"Yes, of course," Drake said, pulling out a portal gun.

"Hold up one second," Camille interrupted, pulling something out of somewhere. The something was a small transparent cube with a red button on top of it. She tossed it to Drake who ungracefully caught the device.

"What is it?"

"A writer's block," Camille replied. "Just press the button on top and it will expand into a nearly invisible wall through which nothing non-canon can pass. Make sure you toss it between two walls or something, or it will just expand until it can't no more and pop."

Drake nodded and pocketed the writer's block.


The China in Temeraire was drastically different from the one in the real world. If you had landed in England, depending on the location, you would have found it almost exactly as it was during the real Napoleonic War era.

The streets were wide, enough for several lanes of traffic, but they weren't large for human convenience. Dragons could easily fit into these massive streets and move about amongst the human population.

For once, Drake didn't wear his usual t-shirt and jacket. He was dressed in the clothes of a British pheasant, much to his annoyance. He thought it unfair that he had to be dressed as a commoner when the girls had all dressed up as rich heiress in the Luxe series fandom, but Tash insisted that he do nothing to attract attention to himself. He muttered that he was going to be a Caucasian in an Asian city and he would be hard pressed not to be noticed. Tash had pretended not to hear him.

Drake suddenly felt very small as he stood in the streets, especially after a large red dragon walked past. He wished he could remember the name of that species and made a note to reread the entire book series. It was shameful being unable to remember the names of some of the more common dragon species, even if they were only in one book…

He pulled his communicator out of a pocket. "Camille, can you get me a map of the fandom?"

"One moment please," she replied sounding like a telephone operator.

A map of the Chinese city replaced the technician-turned agent's face. Drake stared at the map for several seconds. Amanda wasn't throwing her powers around sparingly. Unfortunately, all this Sue energy radiating everywhere made tracking her exact location rather difficult.

"Guess I'll start at the palace," Drake spoke aloud for the benefit of the other agents and the readers. He turned off the communicator and stuffed it into his pocket.


Amanda had thought long and hard after fleeing the Freakazoid! fandom. Granted, the fandom had been easy enough to get into, but she had chosen her powers poorly and Freakazoid himself hadn't been much help.
So she decided on a more serious fandom where she could seduce more reliable characters to her side. Characters that could defend her from whoever the Society sent. She hoped it would be Drake.

Her backstory in this fandom was pretty standard. She was born to an Englishman visiting China and a local woman. Her father abandoned her and Amanda was disliked by her peers for being of mixed parentage. This accounted for the stereotypical tragic past. She taught herself to wield a sword and quickly became a master swordswoman.

She lived as a thief until meeting Laurence. The British air force captain had been dragged to the oriental city by the political machinations of the Chinese. They were none too happy about one of their rare Celestials being the companion of a common soldier. So Laurence and his dragon, Temerarie, were shipped off to China when Temeraire refused to part with his companion.

"Hey, could we skip the rest of this?" Amanda shouted at the sky. "Every Temeraire fan probably knows this anyway.

Well, you know other Society members are bound to read this and I don't think too many of them are familiar with the series

"Fine," Amanda sighed. "Just hurry up with the last of the narration."

So after lots of attempts by Prince Yongxing, the villain of this particular arc, to convince Temeraire to leave Laurence, or have Laurence assassinated, the protagonists discovered his plans and a duel erupted between Temeraire and Yongxing's dragon Lien. Yongxing was accidentally killed during this match.

"Finally," Amanda rolled her eyes. "Can we get back to my story now?"

"Since when was this your story?" Drake asked, stepping out of the crowd and approaching the Sue.
He glared at Amanda. The Sue's appearance had changed a little since he'd last seen her. Her face looked more Asian and she wasn't quite so tall, but wasn't short either. She was dressed in a rather slutty outfit that looked like it belonged in an anime or video game rather than a historical fiction book. She drew a katana from the sheathe at her side.

"This time you're not foiling my plans," Amanda said, then lunged forward.

Drake raised his arm, summoning his armor. The blade bounced off his forearm with a loud metallic clang. She swung the sword again, aiming for his other side. Drake didn't even bother moving to block and the katana just bounced off the armor with another clang.

"How many times are you going to try that before you realize it doesn't work?" Drake asked. Amanda raised the sword over her head. She swung the sword down as Drake raised his arm. He caught the blade between his pointer and middle finger; he kicked Amanda in the gut sending her flying back.

"You can thank Rio Kurojishi for that little move," Drake said, twirling the katana between his fingers
An enraged roar sounded from overhead and Drake glanced up to see a large white dragon dive out of the sky. The Celestial landed next to Amanda and bent over the girl with a concerned expression.

Drake took several steps back from the massive reptile. "I don't believe it. You actually got Lien under your spell?"

"It was easy," Amanda smirked widely. "I just convinced her that Yongxing was an evil, nasty person."

"She loved Yongxing," Drake snarled back. "You completely warped her character."

Drake flung the katana back at its owner. Lien's tail swung up and whipped Drake into the air. He crashed into the side of a building and then to the ground. He groaned and pushed himself back to his feet, noticing that the katana had missed its target by a few feet.

"You'll regret harming Amanda," Lien growled. She took a deep breath and her sides seemed to inflate.

Drake's eyes widened behind his helmet and he made a run for it. He leapt just as Lien unleashed the loudest roar he had ever heard. The wave of sound crashed into the building Drake had just bounced off and blew it apart. Drake himself had barely managed to get out of the way and now turned to run again.

Amanda climbed unto Lien's back as she kneeled down and then the two started after the fleeing Society agent. She closed in on Drake with giant strides.

Drake pulled out the Writer's Block and tossed it behind him. The cube expanded into a glass-like wall between two buildings. Lien passed through the wall as though it weren't there, but her passenger slammed into the barrier and was carried off the dragon's back. Amanda hung against the wall, looking like a bug smeared against a windshield before she slowly slid off it unto the ground. Lien turned back to help her partner and Drake made good use of the distraction by ducking into an alley.

"Drought Punch!"

A fistful of red energy slammed into Drake's face and sent him flying back. Ekard, clad in his red armor, stepped out of the alley. "Hello, my otherworldly counterpart. Did you miss me?"

"Hey, Lassie. How do you like your new ears?" Drake asked as he pushed himself up. His stance was shaky.

"You'll pay for that embarrassment," Ekard said.

Drake looked to the side and saw Lien advancing on him.

Ekard followed his glance. "Amanda, I would suggest you get out of here. I can handle things from here."

"Right, let's go, Lien," Amanda said.

The white Celestial paused, stepped back through the wall and helped Amanda unto her back. The dragon took to the sky.

"Sure, it's a wise idea to send such a powerful helper away?" Drake asked.

"You just got hit by a dragon's tail and then my Drought Punch," Ekard reminded him. "You won't be walking away from this."

"Then let's tango," Drake said, raising his fists.

Ekard charged forward and swung a punch at Drake, who blocked the attack. The doppelganger's other hand shot out and karate chopped Drake's shoulder. Drake cried out in pain and tried to boot Ekard away, but he jumped back first and summoned his spear. He swung the weapon up and across Drake's chest. He thrust forward with the spear as Drake brought up his cape. The fabric hardened and the spear bounced off it, sending Ekard reeling long enough for Drake to land a kick to the stomach. Ekard growled and slammed his spear against the ground.

"Erupting Earth!" An arc of red energy traveled across the ground and struck Drake, knocking him back several feet.

"Mess with nukes!"

Drake glanced up and saw a nuclear warhead dropping towards him. He rolled to the side, but the blast still caught him and sent him flying several feet. Ekard raised his cape, which solidified into a golden substance to shield himself from the inferno.

"Nice shot," Ekard said as Neb stepped forward.

Drake gasped in pain as he rolled over. His armor was severely scorched and his cape was burned almost completely away.

"Man, this just isn't you week," Ekard commented as he approached his counterpart. "Doesn't this make two missions in a row you got thrashed?"

Drake grunted in reply and turned to face the two Protection Society members. The glass of his visor was smashed out and the two could see the expression of pain and rage in his eyes.

"Oh, well. I promise I'll make this as painful as possible," Ekard said as red energy began crackling around his foot.

"Gee, thanks," Drake said. He raised his arms as blue energy began building around his foot.

"Drought Kick!" Ekard shouted, leaping into the air.

"Storm Kick!" Drake bellowed back, but instead of copying Ekard he kicked a piece of debris that Neb's nuke had released from the street. The rock went flying and crashed into Ekard with explosive force, sending him falling back to the ground.

"It's been fun, guys, but I got to jet," Drake said holding up a stopwatch. Neb lifted a cart and tossed it, but Drake clicked the button and everything faded to black. "I love Scene Transitions."


Amanda smiled brightly as she entered her room on the HMS Allegiance. Since Temeraire and Laurence's dispute with the Chinese had been solved, they would now be returning to England. Amanda had decided to skip the next two books in favor of an early return to Britain, where she would further manipulate events to bring the war to an end with her and Lien playing a significant part in the final battle.

"Ah, it's good to be a Sue," Amanda said, her grin somehow growing even broader.

The door was shoved open and banged against the wall. One of Amanda's servants, dressed in oriental garb entered the room. He was wearing a hat and had his head bowed. A plate of food was balanced on his palm.

"Don't slam doors!" Amanda snapped, approaching the servant.

As she reached for the plate, the servant tossed it to the side and grabbed her wrist with his other hand he quickly snapped a Prohibitor on her arm. The "servant" raised his head and Drake smirked at Amanda. "Surprised to see me?"

Amanda gasped and tried to pull her hand out of his grip, but with her Sue powers negated she didn't have much luck. Drake had a Band-Aid on his cheek and his forehead as well as several bruises.

"How'd you get away from your copy?" Amanda asked.

"I opened a Plothole and Neb's cart went flying through it and then I leapt through the Plothole," Drake explained. "Now I have to go fix the hole the cart left in the cook book section, so come along quietly."

Amanda jammed her fist into Drake's gut. He grunted in pain and she pulled her wrist away. She ran for the door, but Drake tackled her to the ground. "Nice try, but nobody escapes from me twice, except for Abigail."

A loud crash echoed around Raven's lab as glass shattered against the stone floor. Raven growled and turned to face his new assistant.

"Sorry," Marion laughed nervously.

"That's the fifth beaker you've broken in the last ten minutes," Raven said slowly, his face filled with anger. "Are you sure you're a Sue?"

"I'm just a little clumsy," Marion replied, backing away from Raven. She bumped the table behind her and somehow sent it flipping onto its side. The table's contents shattered against the floor. "Oops."

Raven clenched his fists in rage. He summoned his sword and leapt at Marion. The clumsy Sue screamed in fear and ran for her life.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Insert Quartet Hero Team Here

Joe raised from his chair, he had been reading in his room for most of the morning, and now he thought it was time for some training in the gym. He picked up some sports clothing and put it in a bag, before he went our the door.

He entered the gym, dressed in a pair of black shorts, and a black T-shirt, with a red dragon on the front, he also had cloth bandages around his hands and feet. He went over to one of the punching bags, and started doing various kick and punch combinations on it.

He was only about 10 minutes into his training, when the doors opened, and Tash walked in. She walked over to Joe and asked "Joe, do you have a moment?"

"Yeah, sure." Joe said and gave the bag one last kick, before he turned around, to look at Tash "What is it?"

"We have a mission for you, there's a Sue on the lose in the Fantastic Four fandom." Tash said.

"Great, I'll go as soon as I've taken a bath." Joe said and walked of to the dressing rooms. After taking a quick shower, he then headed back to his room and picked up his society gadgets and biosuit "Okay Sue, get ready for Joe, 'cause I'm coming for you." He said, before he opened a plothole and jumped through.


The plothole opened in one of New Yorks many back alleys, and Joe was thrown into a pile of trash, when he exited. He quickly jumped out of the trash, and brushed off his clothes, that's when he noticed that he wasn't wearing his black suit anymore. Instead, he was wearing a black jacket, a black shirt and jeans, and a pair of red snickers "Hmm, not bad." Joe said to himself, before he walked out of the ally, and started walking down the sidewalk.

He hadn't walked far, before he saw what looked like a parade. He went over to one of the people, who was looking at the display, tapped him on the shoulder and asked "What's happening here?".

"Haven't you heard, the Fantastic Five has defeated Galactus." The man said.

"No, I just flew in today, and I haven't read the news since I got here."

"Well, too bad." The man said and turned to look at the parade.

"Five." Joe said himself as he walked away from the parade, and into an ally "Let's see who the fifth member is." He said, and pressed the green button on the biosuit containment unit. After the suit had formed around him, he retracted the claws into the suit, and started crawling up the side of the building, Spiderman style, the suit clinging to the wall like a suction cup.

He quickly reached the roof, and went to look down on the street and the parade. What he saw was the Fantastic Four and a young woman dressed in a purple suit, with neon 'veins' placed all over it, and it of cause looked gorgeous on her. She had ruby red hair, and golden yellow eyes, and of cause the typical 'Sue killer body' "So, that's the Sue." Joe said to himself. The young woman lifted her hands, and a shower of sparkles shot out of her hands "And of cause she has some sort of flashy power."

Just then, he heard a gasp from behind him. He turned and saw a man starring at him, with a frightened expression on his face.

After a few moments of silence, Joe finally decided to speak "What. Never seen a bio enhancement suit before?" The man gave an other gasp, before he ran back downstairs, screaming "Better get out of here, before he calls the Fantastic Fools to defeat me." Joe said to himself, and jumped back down into the alley, where he detransformed, and got away as quickly as he could.

Joe was sitting on the roof of one of the buildings, surrounding the plaza, where the parade would end. He had made the decision to try and get a prohibitor on the Sue, when she received the prize for saving the earth

"I hope this works." Joe said and exhaled deeply. He activated the suit, and let it fill in the gabs between the claws. Joe then waited for ceremony to start, and as soon as it did, he ran towards the edge of the building, and jumped.

He spread his fingers, and thereby the membrane between the claws, and thus making him float through the air. He positioned himself, so he was sure to hit the Sue and started diving towards her. When he was close enough, he withdrew the claws into the suit, and made them come back out as 2 shields. He roared as he slammed into the Sue, and sent her backstage through the red curtains "Exit, stage right." Joe said and converted his 'shields' back into claws, before he ran after the Sue.

The Sue was dusting herself off, as Joe entered through the curtains. She gave him a dirty look and growled perfectly "How dare you attack me, Devlina Maria Contesta Fugelrue the 66th, who are you.".

"I'll tell you who I am." Joe said and pulled his badge from his pouch, before he continued "I'm Agent Joe from the anti-cliché and Mary-Sue elimination society. And you are arrest, for twisting a fandom, to make its canon characters look like less than what they are."

"I gave this world what it wanted, a hero who was strong enough to take care of it. And then you come here and ruin their happiness."

"Yeah, yeah, the usual garbage. Now, are you going to come quietly, or do I have to beat you up to get you into a cell?" Joe said, and held up his claws in a threatening manner.

"You will never beat me, for I am, the mistress of light!" Devlina yelled, her voice echoing. She lifted her arms, and 2 whips of light erupted from the palms of her hands. She lashed out for Joe several times, and though he managed to get out of harms way, he still took a few hits. Devlina drew the energy back into body, and send a beam of her divine light at Joe. He dodged, and the beam hit the podium scaffold instead, but instead of destroying the scaffold, the beam seemed to rip the fabric of time and space, and formed a window. Through the window you could see the Earth, but not the Earth as you would normally see from space. On this Earth, one half was covered in ice, and the other was covered in desert, and patches of rainforest. Just then, the Fantastic Four came through the curtains to join the fight.

Joe held up a hand, and actually managed to stop the 4 superheroes in their tracks. All of them looked at the window for a moment, before it closed back up. Joe looked at Devlina and asked "Was your plan to zap me to another planet?"

"No, I just wanted to blast you into oblivion." Devlina answered as she started to fire blots of her divine light at Joe. The Fantastic Four also joined the fight.

Joe did his best to avoid the heroes, and getting some hits in on Devlina, but he still got hit. In an attempt to get the fight finished, he pulled a prohibitor from his pouch and jumped at her, prohibitor in his left hand, and claws raised on his right. Devlina looked frightened, and fired a blot of energy at Joe. By the help of her suish powers, the bolt actually managed to find its way to the containment unit on Joes right wrist, and added to the mix, he was thrown a little off to the side, so he landed a little behind Devlina "No." Joe exclaimed as looked down on his hand, where the claws was starting to become liquid. He quickly got to his feet and ran away from the scene.

"What was that all about?" Reed Richards asked, as he walked up Devlina.

"Just some punk, who thought he could take me on." Devlina answered.

"Okay, time for plan B." Joe said. He had escaped from the plaza, and hid in a dark alley, until the biosuit had dripped off him, and after that, he went to a small diner for a few hours, where he took time to think about what to do next. He had decided, that since his biosuit had been destroyed, he had to get close to Devlina without having to fight her. He paid his bill and headed out on the streets again.

After some time, he came across a TV store, and he took a minute to see what was on. It was the news, and it was his face, or at least his biosuited face, that was on "Well, at least I won't have to worry about the cops." Joe said to himself, and started to walk again.

He didn't walk very far, before he came across a solution to his problem. It was a delivery service. He went in through the backdoor, where he snatched a uniform, and an empty package, and ran out again. He changed his clothes in a public toilet, and went to the Baxter building "I've got a package for the Fantastic Five." Joe said to the guard at the desk.

"It's the elevator over there." The guard said, and pointed at an elevator, with the hero groups logo on it.
"Thank you." Joe said, before he went over to the elevator and tapped one of the buttons.

The doors was about to close in front of him, when the Thing, aka. Ben Grim came through the doors to the building "Hey, stop the elevator!" Ben yelled. Joe put a foot in the gap between the doors, making them open again "Thanks."

"No problem, it's always nice to help a celebrity, such as yourself." Joe said and pushed the button, that would take them to the top floor.

"Gee thanks, but I'm not the celebrity, Devlina is." Ben said and gave Joe a nervous grin.

"Aw, you're to modest." Joe said, and gave the orange giant a pad on the back, but what he didn't notice, was that Joe also placed a copyright sticker on his back in the process, and you could almost immediately see the change in the giants face. A 'ding' was heard, and the doors slid open, so the 2 could enter the apartment/laboratory "Wow, this is quite a place." Joe commented.

"Yeah, if you don't live here." Ben commented.

Suddenly, a loud clanking of metal could be heard from the labs. Ben and Joe ran into the lab to find Devlina, shoving technical parts through a plothole. She heard the 2 coming, and turned around and said "Oh hi Ben, why are home so…" She didn't get to finish the sentence, before Ben hit her so hard, that she was propelled through the plothole, which closed behind her.

"Okay, I guess I won't have to worry about her then." Joe said, as he went over to the few components, that Devlina had left behind "I wonder what this was for." He said to himself.

"Excuse me, but what just happened here?" Ben asked in a frustrating tone.

"You won't have to worry about that much longer, Ben. 'Cause I'm gonna make you forget it" Joe said, as he pulled a prohibitor from the pouch on his back, together with his plothole generator "I gotta go now." Joe said, as he opened a plothole, and then pressed a button on the prohibitor, making it flash, and thus returning the fandom to normal. He then jumped through the plothole, returning to the library.

"So, the Sue was some stealing technology from the fandom?" Tash asked, as she looked up from Joes mission report.

"Yes, but I don't know what purpose it had." Joe said.

A few moments went by, with Tash reading the rest of the report, before she finally said "Well, there's not much we can do about it now, and you did get the fandom back to normal, so I suggest you go back to your room and get some rest.".

"Yeah, I think I will." Joe said and left the office.

Meanwhile, on a small piece of land, that floated through the void between the dimensions, Devlina was standing together with Beautirix, Anuhs Weedy and another Stu with shining, white hair and piercing, yet gentle, ice blue eyes. He was dressed in a black suit, with a ruby red shirt and a black tie, which looked extremely good on him "So, did you get what we needed?" The man asked.

"Not all we needed, that stupid agent made the Thing punch me through the plothole, before I got the parts for the battery pack." Devlina said, kicking a bit of dust off the ground.

"Fortunately, I have an emergency plan, if this one didn't go right after the plan." The suit said.

"As long as we get our reward, Kazuna, we do what you say." Anuhs said.

"Don't worry, you will. Now, I have to work." Kazuna said. He held out his hand, and the tech parts started floating, and started merging together.

Back in his room, Joe was sitting on his bed, making plans for what to do, now that his biosuit was out of commission "Maybe a little surfing on the net would clear my mind." He said to himself, when he finally realized he couldn't come up with anything. He turned on his computer, and started surfing. After surfing for a few minutes, he came some fan fictions, with some very detailed training sessions in them "Maybe that's the way to go." He said to himself, and started looking for more of those fictions, in the fandoms that he liked.

After a few hours of surfing and printing, Joe was finally satisfied with the amount of fictions he had found. He opened the writing program on the computer, and started writing a letter. He printed the letter out, turned off the computer, and put the letter in an envelope, which he placed on the keyboard, so it leaned against the screen.

He quickly packed some clothes, the fictions he had printed, some snacks and a his prohibitors, in case he ran into a Sue or Stu. He finally grabbed his plothole generator, and he was ready to go. He placed the fiction, he had copied the biosuit from, on the floor, and zapped it with the generator, and a plothole was created above the fiction "See you around, everyone." Joe said and jumped through the plothole to begin his training.


"Come on Joe, you said you wanted to play this game me." Pete said, as he banged the door to Joes room. He held up 2 big plastic bags and said "Come on, open up, I got enough snacks and cookies to send us to the hospital." He stopped his banging for a moment, and listened at the door. When he didn't hear anything, he said "Okay, if you're not coming out, I'm coming in." He was surprised when he turned the knob, to find the door unlocked 'When Joe wants to be left alone, he usually locks the door' Pete thought as he pushed the door open to find the room empty "What on earth." Pete said to himself, before he started looking for some sort of clue, as to where Joe had gone to. The first thing he found was the envelope on the keyboard, the other was the Spiderman fiction, Joe had copied his powers from. Pete opened the envelope, and skimmed the letter inside, his eyes becoming wider and wider as he read it "Tash better see this." Pete said and hurried out of the room to find the leader of the society.

"Tash, Tash!" Pete yelled, as he entered the Sue observation room.

"What is it Pete?" Tash asked.

Taking deep breaths, Pete looked at Tash and said "Joe is…  is gone.".


"He's gone, look at this." Pete said, and handed the letter to Tash, who started reading it out loud.

"Dear society. I have decided to leave you for a while, to become stronger, and regain my original power, and maybe gain some new ones, don't worry, I'll be careful to not turn into a Stu. Bye, Joe." Tash looked the letter over once more, before she looked at Pete and asked "Do you have any idea, where he's gone to?"

"I think so." Pete said, and held up the Spiderman fan fiction "I found this on the floor in his room."

Tash rubbed her nose a bit, before she finally said "Well, it's his choice, and I guess we should accept that."

She handed the paper back to Pete, who nodded, and started to walk back to his room. When he passed through the library, he looked down on one of the plastic bags, he was holding, before he yelled out into the library "Free candy for anyone who grabs the bag." He then threw the bag into the air, and ran for a secure location, aka under a table, and watched as all the sugar addictive agents, jumped the bag, and ripped it apart, like a pack of zombies, while he laughed like crazy.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

TAOM: Doug - Off-Duty

Doug had been lying on the hospital bed for 20 minutes since the co-op mission with Drake and the others in the Crash Bandicoot fandom. The fight with the Super-Sue had drained all his energy and enough blood to almost drive him berserk. He had been hooked up on the IV just to replenish his blood supply, and Valerie came to check up on him.

"How do you feel?" asked Valerie.

"I feel quite well. Thank you," replied Doug. Valerie looked through the test sheets.

"You know, the Library had little blood supplies before you came here. Ever since you came, your author had been sending blood supplies into the Library," commented Valerie, pulling out the needle from Doug's arm and taking out the empty blood pack.

"Yeah… even though being a halfling means I'm immortal and a knife through the heart won't kill me, I'm still dependent on extra blood," replied Doug, thinking back on the mission when he protected Aster from a knife thrown by the Stu at the fandom. Valerie nodded.

"Well, your recovery went well for a halfling. Your broken bones have mended by itself and blood capillaries are sealing up," said Valerie, looking through an X-ray and signing off a got up and stood next to Valerie.

"Just sign here," said Valerie, handing Doug a pen to sign on the discharge form. Doug signed it and gave the pen back to Valerie.

"Thank you. You've been discharged," said Valerie before going to her next patient. Doug walked out of the medical wing and headed to the labs.


Doug was walking through the corridors of the Society when he caught a rare sight. Charis, Karissa's elder sister and Society technician, was walking about the Library. Doug raced up and caught up with her.

"Hello, Charis. You're a rare sight,' greeted Doug.

"Hi Doug. What's up?" greeted Charis.

"The Library's ceiling," replied Doug.

"Huh?" asked Charis, who didn't catch on the joke.

"Never mind. Actually, I was looking for you. There's this gadget that had been going in my head for a while and I need your expertise on it," said Doug. Charis nodded and listened. "It's about combining a Bookmark and a Plothole Generator…"continued Doug as they both walked to the end of the corridor, disappearing at a corner. Suddenly, the Library rocked, followed by Adrian yelling out.

"ASTER!" echoed Adrian's voice. "Kyaa~!" replied Aster.


In the encyclopaedia section, the door with the word 'Guardian' inscribed on its side, opened. Out came Rina, the twin sister of Doug. She had long brunette hair that reached her waists, and she was wearing a pink jumper and a dark olive skirt with knee-length black boots. She was carrying a thermos flask with a fork and spoon attached to it. She headed to the Society labs where one of them was her brother's Chemistry lab. She knocked on the door and went in.

In the lab, Doug and Karissa were wearing safety goggles, writing down observations of the interaction between the Bookmark and the Plothole Generator.

"Been busy, bruder?" asked Rina, setting the thermos on the flask. Doug stopped working and took off his safety goggles.

"Ah, Rina. Nice to see you," said Doug, going to her. They both hugged and kissed each others' cheeks before Doug kissed her on the forehead.

"I brought in your favourite," said Rina reaching for the thermos. She opened it and it showed rice with roast pork. Doug took the spoon and fork and started taking portions of the meal into a plastic plate. He began eating the meal while Charis watches. Rina looked at Charis and offered.

"Do you want some?" asked Rina.

"No thanks. I already had my lunch," replied Charis. Rina nodded and headed to the door.

"Bruder, I'll be leaving now. Maddie sends her love," said Rina. Doug swallowed a mouthful and replied.

"Tell her I love her too. I'll be back on Sunday," said Doug before taking another mouthful. Rina left and closed the door.

Charis began tweaking the Society experimental gadget before making a statement.

"Doug, I didn't know you had a girlfriend," stated Charis. "Well, she wasn't until she reappeared after five years from the belly of my author's cryogenic storage. She started off as a colleague, as and until recently more than that," explained Doug.

"Kudos to you, Doug," said Charis before she began tweaking the gadget again.

Doug continued eating.


Doug was in a forest. He was in a ghillie suit, with an M21 Supressend sniper rifle and a Steyr AUG rifle on his back. He had been lying on the ground for quite a while, seemingly waiting for someone or something to be his next target. He saw some leaves move, and he took a shot. Something that was invisible to the naked eye became visible with paint streaks on its invisible body. The body moved quickly, and shurikens came out of nowhere. Doug quickly rolled to avoid the shurikens, but that left himself exposed. He quickly switched his weapons and made a run for it, with darts striking the ground behind him.

"I hate it when I become the hunted," thought Doug as he ran for dear life. He then stopped and turned around, but the body was not to be found. Then the paint streak caught his attention. He quickly fired a few shots, but missed the body. The body shot a few darts and a few managed to hit Doug. Doug took cover behind a tree and activated the heartbeat sensor device on his rifle. He quickly followed the dot that appeared on the screen, firing accurate shots at the body. The body then landed on the ground, phasing out of its camouflage. It was Cristoph. Cristoph drew out his ninjato and rushed towards Doug, dodging every shot. Doug, feeling that Cristoph was getting too close, dropped the rifle and drew out his sword. They both clashed, trying to make the other submit. Doug was losing the swordfight, so he quickly took a flashbang grenade and dropped it to the ground. The flashbang burst, blinding Cristoph and giving a chance for Doug to escape. He fired a grappling hook up to the forest canopy then rappel himself up and hid within the branches. He took his sniper rifle out and fired a shot. Before the bullet could reach Cristoph, Cristoph threw a smoke bomb, making himself disappear.

"What the-?" exclaimed Doug before he felt an arm wrap around his neck and choking him. Doug tried to pull it off but the arm was firmly in place.

"Okay, you win," gasped Doug between breaths. The arm loosened and the forest turned into a training room. Cristoph let go of Doug and patted him on his back.

"I'm still better than you at long range," commented Doug.

"And you still need work on your short range attacks," replied Cristoph. They both let out a laugh as they left the training room.


Doug headed to the encyclopaedia section to the door. He took his pen-shaped key and inserted it into the keyhole. The door opened and he entered it. Doug reappeared on a beach, where the sun was setting and there was a beach chair facing the sunset.

Maddie was on the beach chair with a two-piece bikini and sunglasses on. She waved her hand to Doug, calling him to come. Doug approached her and gave her a kiss on the lips.

"Hello love," said Doug.

"You're just in time for the sunset. Watch it with me," said Maddie. Doug got on the beach chair and hugged his lover, observing the horizon as the sun sank.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Insert Evil Genetic Experiment Here

The magmadon waded through the molten steel, a small anthropomorphic bandicoot perched safely on its back. An orange wooden mask covered the titan's face, keeping the viscous mutant under Crash's control.

Crash breathed a sigh of relief as the red anthropomorphic turtle stepped out of the liquid steel and unto the solid metal floor of Cortex's secret base. He glanced around; expecting to find a group of titans waiting to attack him, but the facility seemed oddly deserted. Normally by this time his titan would have been so damaged he'd need to jack another one.

A movement in the shadows caught Crash's eye, a figure leapt out and slashed the magmadon across the chest, the figure dashed away, glowing an unearthly light blue color, before it shot forward again, hitting the titan's leg and causing it to drop to one knee. Crash attempted to throw a punch with his titan, but the figure just blurred away again and the next thing Crash knew, a slash had been scored across the magmadon's back. The figure stopped in front of the titan and thrust his arm forward, palm open and launched a barrage of light blue balls of darkness. The injured magmadon groaned in pain and collapsed, the figure stepping back to avoid being crushed under it.

Crash leapt from the dying creature. The mask on the titan's face reverted to its true form, Aku Aku, the witch doctor spirit that guarded Wampa Island. He was a floating orange wooden mask with yellow pupil less eyes. Four feathers stood out of the top of the mask, each a different color.

Their attacker turned to face them. A black sword, the blade shaped like a demonic wing vanished from his hand. The stranger was tall, much more so than the short Cortex. He wore a black trench coat and black jeans. His brown spiky hair was pulled back into a short ponytail. He pulled a pair of purple-rimmed glasses from his trench coat and placed them on his nose. "You two look lost."

Crash mumbled unintelligibly at the stranger, though his raised fist and ticked expression made his threat clear.

"Who are you?" Aku Aku demanded as he hovered beside Crash.

"That's not important right now," the youth replied coolly, raising a hand. A ball of darkness appeared in his palm and he thrust it forward, the blast of magic struck the duo and sent them flying out of a nearby window.
Crash screamed as he fell through the air, the mountainside that hide Cortex's lair flashing past as he fell.

"Crash!" Aku Aku exclaimed as he dived towards the bandicoot.

The marsupial caught the mask as he got close and tossed him under his feet; he stood on top of the hovering piece of wood and hit the sloping ground of the mountain. Aku Aku kept them from going splat though as he hovered off the ground and Crash went rolling down the slope as though he stood on a skateboard instead of an enchanted mask. They picked up speed as they flew down the slope and Crash gasped as he saw the ground rise into a hill, forming a natural ramp. Without any time to slow down, the two went flying off the ramp, Crash screaming as they were once again airborne and flying over the forest below.

The black-clad figure watched this entire escapade out of the broken window. A hovering screen floated down next to him and the large head of Dr. Neo Cortex appeared on it. "Why didn't you finish him off?"

A smirk appeared on the youth's face. "Because unless I miss my guess, someone's going to be coming after me soon. By leaving the bandicoot alive, I've left a guide for that someone and when they finally find me we'll be able to test our experiment."

"You underestimate the bandicoot," Cortex frowned.

"I think I've proved that I can handle Crash."


Drake sat in the Library Arcanium's kitchen, slowly devouring a slice of pizza. He glanced up as Tyler entered, rubbing his eyes sleepily. The short agent glanced at the box of pizza sitting in the middle of the table.


"Want some?" Drake asked, gesturing to the pizza box.

"Uh-huh," Tyler nodded, going over to the box and lifting the lid. He pulled out a slice of pizza and bit into it. His eyes went wide. "Ack! Are those anchovies?"

Drake nodded and took another bite of his slice, while Tyler gagged and ran over to the trash to spit out his mouthful of fish-laden pizza. Drake watched with an amused expression.

"That's sick," Tyler gasped, going over to the fridge and looking for something to wash the foul taste out of his mouth.

"Why does everyone hate anchovies so much?" Drake wondered aloud. A loud beep sounded from his pocket and Drake pulled the communicator out. "Yeah?"

"We have multiple Sue readings in the Crash Bandicoot fandom," Marcus' voice issued from the communicator.

"How many?" Drake asked, taking quick bites out of his pizza.

"Two, a level one and the other was a level four, but it just became a level five," Marcus replied.

"Okay, I'll take care of it," Drake jammed the last of the pizza into his mouth and set down his communicator before leaving the room.

Tyler finally came up for air after guzzling half a jug of orange juice. He glanced around and didn't see Drake, just an abandoned communicator lying on the table.

Drake stepped out of a plothole and unto the soft grass of Wampa Island. A large expanse of forest filled with tropical plants surrounded him. He glanced around and spotted several small pod-like plants, which he knew would each contain a small collection of mojo, the main collectible of the newer Crash games.

The ferns behind him rustled and Drake spun around, the bracelet on his arm glowing as his armor formed covering him from head to toe.

"Slicing Gale!" Drake exclaimed, equipping his spear and swinging it at the ferns. Several spinning boomerangs of blue energy launched from the tip of the spear. A yelp came from the bushes and a certain anthromorphic bandicoot leapt out of them just in time to avoid being slashed down with the plant.
"Oh, it's just the main protagonist," Drake sighed, his spear vanishing.

Crash glared at his attacker and then launched himself at Drake. His furry fist slammed into the agent's helmet, sending him stumbling. Crash followed up with a kick to the ankle.

"Ow! Hold it; I'm on your side!" Drake exclaimed.

Crash crouched down and flipped forward, slamming both feet into Drake's armored chest.

"Darn it!" Drake exclaimed, grabbing Crash's wrist and swinging him around by it. He let go and sent the bandicoot flying into a tree trunk.

"Everything ready?" Mysterious dude dressed in black asked as he stepped into Cortex's lab.

The mad scientist nodded at the table which a currently motionless figure was strapped to. A ray gun-like device hung from the ceiling above the table. "I'm about to start the final procedure."

"Allow me," Mysterious dude dressed in black walked over to a console and threw a switch. A beam of light shot from the ray gun shot at the figure below. "Ah, I love the smell of an Evolvoray in the morning."

Marcus was still on monitoring duty and since he had nothing better to do was monitoring the status of Drake's mission. The screen currently displayed the battle between the Society agent and the heroic bandicoot. Crash charged at Drake and began spinning, becoming an orange tornado. The attack hit Drake; multiply clangs coming from his armor. In the top left corner of the screen, Marcus noticed a "Combo X 20" appear. He shook his head wondering if the monitor was broken.

A beep came from the screen and another window appeared over the one projecting the fight. It was a large map of Wampa Island. Drake's position was displayed by a blue dot, while the two Sues were marked by red dots. Marcus blinked as he saw the Sue levels. The level four had dropped to level one, but the first level one was now steadily rising and already nearing a level six!

He grabbed his communicator and called Drake's.

"Hello?" Tyler's voice answered.

"Tyler?" Marcus frowned in confusion. "But I called Drake's number."

"Yeah, I think Drake forgot to take his communicator with," Tyler said slowly.

Marcus groaned and facepalmed. "All right, find Camille and get her to take a look at the monitor. I want to make sure these strange readings aren't some kind of glitch."

"Strange readings?" Tyler repeated.

"The threat levels are going up and down like a rollercoaster."

"Storm Punch!" Drake exclaimed leaping at Crash, his fist crackling with blue energy. Aku Aku appeared in front of Crash, projecting a barrier. Drake's fist slammed through the barrier and into the mask, sending him flying back into Crash and then the both of them flying into the bushes.

"That was fun," Drake sighed, dusting off his hands.

Heavy footsteps approached from behind him and Drake spun around to see a trio of Spikes, large brown titans with large claws and spikes covering their bodies. The lead Spike raised its claws to swipe at him, but Drake leapt back before it could swing its arm.

"Slicing Gale!" Drake exclaimed summoning his spear and sending the storm of spinning energy blades at the Spikes. The creatures howled as the attack cut through their thick hides.

The Spikes recovered quickly though and one slammed its paw into the ground. Drake realized too late what it had just done as a circle of spikes shot out of the ground around the titan. The spikes stabbed into his armor and knocked Drake into the air. (Hey, this is video game physics.) He groaned as he hit the ground with a loud thud.

"This just isn't my day," Drake grunted as he tried to stand back up. The spikes had actually managed to penetrate and hit some flesh and the impact with the ground had jarred him.

The titan started forward, the other two were standing back, dazed from being hit by their comrade's spike attack.
Crash leapt back out of the bushes towards one of the two dazed titans. He slammed Aku Aku onto the Spike's face as he landed on its back. The enchanted mask attached to the beast's face and tribal markings similar to those on Crash covered the titan as he took control of it. The Spike approaching Drake stopped and turned to face Crash. The jacked Spike raised a paw and made a bring-it-on gesture with its claws.

Drake groaned and managed to push himself back onto his feet. He stepped back from the two clashing Spikes, pressing a palm to the side of his aching head. He spun around, planning to retreat, but crashed into someone.

"Drake, you okay?"

"Do I look okay?" he asked, pushing himself into a sitting position, so he could glare at the speaker, Tyler. Marcus and a small collection of Society agents stood behind him. Ben cowered from Shirley, while the cliché seemed to be close to (literally) chewing him out. Pete in his darkness Kamen Rider suit and Joe in his biosuit stood to the side of Marcus. Douglas who had some kind of machine gun pointed at Crash and the titan he was clashing with.

"We have a problem…" Marcus started.

"You have no idea!" the group glanced up at the voice and saw a mass of bright blue light descending on them. The kamehameha struck the ground as they scattered, the large explosion caught them though and sent them sailing through the air. Crash, Aku Aku, and the Spikes were knocked out by the attack. Drake crashed into a rock and dropped to the forest floor. He turned his head skyward and watched as their assailant descended towards the ground.

She was the most muscular Mary-Sue Drake had ever seen, most of them tended to be on the petite side, but this one looked Amazonian. Her hair seemed to be every color of the rainbow. Her wardrobe was a cross between a trench coat, Saiyan armor, and the spider suit Amber had worn.

"What do you think of my Super-Sue?" Drake turned his head to find mysterious dude dressed in black emerging from behind a tree.

"Who are you?" the Society agent asked, pushing himself back to his feet for the second time that minute.

"You can call me Raven," the Stu replied, removing his glasses and folding them up, before stuffing them into the pocket of his trench coat.

"You made that thing?" Drake asked.

"Didn't I just say that?" Raven frowned. "Yes, though I had some help from this fandom's main villain. Rather impressive, no? Blending the powers of several Stus and Sues into one being is hard. Oh, hold on a minute."
Marcus lunged at Raven, pulling his sword of his umbrella shaft. Raven's demonic sword appeared in his hands and blocked Marcus' slash.

"Do you really think it's wise to fight me, Marcus?" Raven smirked confidently. Marcus raised an eyebrow in surprise that the Stu knew his name. "Oh, I've researched all of you Society members. It's what I do…"

Marcus stabbed his sword forward, but Raven batted it aside with ease. "…you're hardly the most combat-suited agent… wouldn't you prefer to beat me with some sort of plan?"

"Time doesn't permit that!" Marcus shouted swinging his sword again, Raven sidestepped the blade.

"How true," Raven raised his hand and shot several balls of dark fire at Marcus who opened his umbrella and let the attack bounce off the shield charm on it. "Still I would prefer that you waste your efforts on my Super-Sue, I need to field-test my creation."

Pete swung his sword at Super-Sue, but she just blurred out of the way, reappearing behind him. Pete spun around, swinging his sword as he did, but the Sue just blurred away again. She raised her arms and launched a spray of webbing from her wrists, wrapping him tightly in a cocoon of the sticky substance.

Cristoph tossed several shurikens from his hiding place among the trees, but Super-Sue spun around as though she had sensed the attack coming and swatted the throwing stars out of the air with a pink energy whip.

"Pink!" Tyler shouted in rage, leaping at her and coming down with his staff raised to strike. Super-Sue back flipped and slammed both feet into Tyler's face.

"Argh!" the Amazonian Sue exclaimed as Joe raked his biosuit's claws across her shoulder. She spun around and punched Joe in the gut, sending him flying several feet. The wound in her shoulder began closing up and even the torn clothes began repairing itself.

"Looks like an outstanding success," Raven chuckled as he flipped over top of Marcus. He kicked off a tree and bounced back at him, his sword blade glowed with blue energy as he slashed it along his opponent's side. He spun around; raising his sword for a horizontal slash, but something hooking unto his wrist halted the descent of his sword.

"Got you!" Douglas exclaimed as he gripped his grappling prohibitor. Marcus slammed his knee into Raven's gut, even as he dropped his umbrella to cover the wound in his side. Raven grabbed hold of the grappling prohibition's cord and yanked on it. Douglas yelped as he stumbled forward. He engaged the electric shock function, sending a jolt of energy coursing through the cuff.

Raven threw his head back and laughed, electricity crackled, but the Stu didn't even seem to notice as he reached down and pulled the prohibitor off his arm. Doug's eyes stretched wide in surprise. "This little toy is nothing to me. I've altered the very core of my being so that your usual tricks won't work."

"Storm Kick!" Drake leapt forward, extending his foot. Raven spun around and tossed his sword at him. The weapon spun rapidly like a buzz saw before hitting its target. Drake was knocked back to the ground, his armor shattering into a large swarm of shining motes.

"Now then, maybe you'll let me watch the show," Raven caught his sword as it flew back to him. He turned back to the battle against Super-Sue.

She had taken flight again and was hurling balls of energy down on the small group of Society Agents, who were dodging the blasts. Christoph tossed another handful of shuriken at her, while Tyler blurred up behind her and slammed his staff into her back. The shuriken slammed into her a second later, preventing her from mustering enough concentration to spin around and attack Tyler who was already blurring away. Pete (who had broken free of the webbing) moved into his Light form and raised his guns, firing both at the hovering Sue. She blurred around most of the shots though a few still found their mark. Super-Sue summoned the pink energy whip again and slammed it into Pete, knocking him off his feet.

"Guys, she's weakening!" Marcus exclaimed. He glanced over at Raven. "Super-Sue might have a lot of power, but she tires much faster than normal Sues."

"It would appear you're right," Raven said, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "My creation still needs work."

Shirley pounced on Super-Sue and began tearing at her with claws and teeth. The tiring Sue shrieked in pain before grabbing hold of Shirley and tossing her away.

"Don't mess with nukes!" Ben exclaimed, pointing at the rainbow-haired Amazon.

She glanced up to find a nuclear warhead bearing down on her. Super-Sue leapt into the air and outstretched both arms, catching the missile. The sweating Sue smirked as she prepared to throw the missile at Ben, but then her strength ebbed farther and the missile shot towards the ground, Super-Sue doing her best to hold it back. The Society agents and Raven ducked behind the solidest structures they could find as the missile forced its way to the ground and finally exploded.

Ben peered around the rock he had sheltered behind. The smoke slowly began clearing and the agents gasped as they made out Super-Sue's silhouette. She was still standing, but trembling and panting. She took one step forward and immediately collapsed facedown on the ground.

Raven sighed and flung himself over the fallen statue he had taken cover behind. He advanced on his fallen creation.

"Hold it right there," he turned around to find Pete aiming his guns at him. Tyler was pointing his staff at him and Douglas had brought out his Death Knight Sword. Christoph drew a pair of Sais. Shirley growled as she and Joe brandished their claws.

"I realize you have the numbers, but do you want to risk attacking me in your weakened condition?" Raven asked, glancing around at the injured agents.

"We could take you down," Tyler snapped even as he gasped for breath.

"Yes, but how many would you lose in the process?" Raven pulled his glasses out and slipped them back on.

Marcus frowned. "He's right. It's not worth it."

The agents sighed, but lowered their weapons.

"An excellent decision," Raven smiled warmly at the Society. He resumed walking over to Super-Sue and turned back to face them, bowing. "I look forward to our next meeting."

A plothole opened, swallowing up both Raven and his creation.

Drake groaned as he pushed himself into a sitting position. "I hate it when the Stu/Sue gets away."

"Nothing we can do about it," Marcus said. "Let's just get back to the Library, treat our wounds, and tell the others to be on the look-out for this new threat."

Monday, October 17, 2011

Insert Blatant Shakespear Ripoff Here

Tyler was perched above a pedestal, upon which was a large portion of chocolate. He had decided to find something to eat, and not being in the mood to eat a coat he had found in a sorry state in the Operation! fandom, he had gone for Adrian's chocolate. Unfortunately for him, his communicator chose this time to beep. At first thinking he had set off a trap, Tyler's heart shot to his throat, sending a sting of pain through him. He fell off his perch, but his fall was quickly broken by a net, which entangled him, then pinned him to the ceiling.


After several seconds of struggling and twisting, Tyler managed to free his head and arm, then turned to the communicator. Tash's face appeared on it.

"I swear, I am going to kill Viva whatever-her-name-is."

Tash frowned. "May I ask why?"

Tyler pointed at his heart. "She has denied me chocolate. Twice."


"So I like chocolate. Now, why the call?"

"Faya's been spotted in the RomeoxJuliet fandom."

"You mean that anime knockoff of Romeo and Juliet?"

"Correct. Now, are you going or not?"

"I'm a little… er… tied up."


Several minutes later…..

Tyler collected his Society gadgets, and was about to leave, when he realized something.

"Considering my injuries from that weird manga don't seem to have disappeared completely, I should probably avoid overexertion. Hmm…." A lightbulb suddenly appeared over Tyler's head. He grabbed a briefcase out of his desk which bore a label reading "For Emergencies (or for anything, really)," and emptied the contents into a pouch around his waist. Tyler then opened a portal, and entered the fandom.


In the fandom of RomeoxJuliet, everything was going right. Just three days ago, a mysterious girl had appeared in the floating city of Neo Verona. Everyone had immediately accepted her as the new ruler, without even letting her speak. She had not wanted to take power, claiming that her tragicly tragic past of tragical tragicness had taught her never to be trusted with power, but after only a tiny amount of persuasion, she accepted the post of queen. Under her rule, Neo Verona prospered, but although everyone was happy, under the darkest corner of their mind, something continually gnawed at them. Then Tyler appeared in the fandom.

In a deserted square of Neo Verona, a Plothole opened and Tyler fell out. He quickly got to his feet, preparing for an attack of some sort. Nothing came.

"Odd. Usually Faya's around wherever I show up." Tyler looked around.

"Which means I'll need to go to her…"


Deep in Neo Verona….

Faya sat on her throne, almost ecstatic. She had found the easiest fandom in the multiverse to conquer. All the main characters were dead, and her Sue powers filled in the rest. Everyone now believed she was the ruler and always had been. And best of all, the Society hadn't found her y-

"Your Majesty, one of the guards sighted a strange boy in the city. He carries a small paddle-like object."

"Damn it."

Tyler strolled through Neo Verona, trying to maintain the appearance of a child sent on an errand. He had had the foresight to bring a large piece of cloth to wrap around himself, which made sure no one noticed his chosen attire of tie-dye and shorts. It also had the effect of shielding him from the cold of being in a city located among the clouds. Suddenly, three guards appeared out of nowhere.

"Halt! You're under arrest!"

Tyler didn't bother with any theatrics. He just took out a small blob from the pouch at his waist, and tossed it at the guards.

"Huh? What's this?"

"Silly Putty. Why?"

"What's Silly Putty?"

"It's a priceless substance worth millions of pounds of gold an ounce. You can now quit your jobs as guards."

"Cool!" The guard walked off with their "treasure," leaving Tyler to continue toward Faya's palace.

Faya looked into a crystal scrying glass, completely ignoring the fact that such an item would not exist in her current fandom.

"How did that little brat trick my guards into quitting?"

Suddenly, in a puff of smoke, a small, shadowy figure appeared on the arm of her throne.

"I believe that he convinced them that this 'Silly Putty' was a priceless substance, Mistress."

"I know what he did, Quakakawazakaskee!"

"Yes, Mistress."

"Now, Quak, I have a question."

"Yes, Mistress?"

"Why do you exist? This fandom doesn't have fiends."

"It doesn't have scrying glasses either, Mistress."

Faya sighed. "Noted. Mobilize the entire army. I want him dead."

"It will be done, Mistress."

Tyler was proceeding toward the largest and most ornate building, which he assumed was Faya's palace. He had already defeated several more squadrons of guards, mostly by giving them more Silly Putty. He had no idea how this trick worked, but he eventually decided that Faya had made them stupid to fulfill a cliché. Finally, he was at the courtyard. He was about to enter when his path was blocked by a pair of guards.

"Halt! Nobody enters this palace!"

Tyler frowned.

"But… I have an invitation!"

"No you don't. This party is for guards and the queen only."

"Will you let me across if I fight you and win?"

The guard scoffed.

"Only if you kill us both."

"Oh… okay, but before I beat you to a bloody pulp and toss your corpse off Neo Verona, I'm gonna need you to sign this waiver."

The guard looked puzzled.


"Well, if you die, then one of your surviving family members might care. Then they might try to sue me. And if they sue me, then I have to go to court and explain how I had to kill you because you were in my way, and I needed to get you out of my way, so…."

"Okay, okay, I'll sign your waiver!"

"Thank you. Here's the waiver, and here's a pen."

The guard bent down to sign. After reading the clause, he clicked open the pen…

...which exploded.

Really, it exploded. The blast slammed both guards into the wall, knocking them unconscious. Tyler smirked.

"See? That's the point of a waiver."

Tyler quickly propelled himself over the gate, landing in an enormous courtyard. He began to stride triumphantly across the courtyard, when he noticed something that caused him to stop mid-step.

"Oh muffins…"

He had just succeeding in entering an enormous courtyard, packed to the brim with guards.

From her scrying glass, Faya watched happily as Tyler realized what he had just walked into. She continued smiling as the guards charged the Society Agent. Her smile slowly began to fade as Tyler blasted her first line of soldiers away with a grenade. It disappeared completely when the Agent grabbed the lance of one of the guards, and fired off another explosive behind it, launching himself forward and knocking out every guard in his path. It dropped into a frown as Tyler vaulted over the head of a guard, propelling himself out of the scrying orb's range.

Tyler landed on the balcony, taking several seconds to regain his breath. He looked up… and immediately blurred into the air to avoid a small squad of guards who had just charged him. Tyler spun the stolen lance around, pushing them off the balcony. They made a loud "Clang!" as they hit the ground, but they got up, if woozily. Tyler blew a loud raspberry at them, and was rewarded by one of the guards hurling a spear at him. Tyler grabbed the spear before it could hit him, eyed it suspiciously, then chomped off the point. He chewed on it contemplatively for a moment, then spat it out. He readied the spear to throw it back down…then spun, slamming the spear into another group of guards, then vaulting them, sending them tumbling off the balcony to join their fellows. This time, the clang was more subdued, but still satisfying. Tyler continued into the palace.


Twenty minutes later…

Tyler had made it to the second-to-last floor, but he was now stymied by a trapdoor, of all things. He had tried blasting his way in, but it had done nothing. He had fired a series of energy blasts at the opening, to no avail. Finally, he decided on something. He had been planning to save this for the actual battle, but he needed to get to Faya. Tyler levitated a small pink crayon out of his pouch, then fired it at the trapdoor. Said door was instantly covered with a thin coating of pink. But that was enough. Tyler screamed with rage and leapt upward at the trapdoor, smashing it with a magic-soaked fist. The door shattered into splinters, and Tyler shot up into the top room, immediately firing a magic bolt at…

A Mii?

Granted, this Mii was unusual, with a shock of bright purple hair, red eyes, and blue skin, but it was most definitely a Mii. As Tyler's energy bolt approached it, it moved aside incredibly fast, and the bolt hit the wall of the room, leaving a scorch mark. Tyler was confused.

"Wait, I'm confused. Who are you?"

When the Mii spoke, its voice resembled several thousand bees buzzing at once.

"I am an Uber-Stu, a general in Faya's army."

"Faya has an army?"

"Yes. The Mistress has created an army of Sues and Stus to destroy a force she refers to as The Society."


"I have told you this because I am about to kill you. Neither you nor the information you are now aware of will leave this room alive."


"Why are you thanking me? I am about to kill you."

"Because you just told me info. You won't be able to kill me."

"Incorrect. Now die." Uber-Stu drew a pair of blades, each glowing with a hazel light, seemingly out of nowhere and charged at Tyler. Tyler quickly backstepped, avoiding a painful and bloody end by one of Uber-Stu's swords. Uber-Stu snarled and swung again, but Tyler continued dodging, blocking, and taunting.

"Are you sure you're a Stu? I always thought one of the qualifications was fighting ability."

Uber-Sue roared in anger and slashed at Tyler, who dodged, then kicked Uber-Stu in the ankle. The Stu cried out in pain, limping away from Tyler.

"Seriously, is that it? I thought that an Uber-Stu would at least put up a fight."

Then the Stu lunged, slashing at Tyler with both swords. Tyler spun to one side, smacking Uber-Stu in the back of the head with his staff. The Stu stumbled forward, but quickly righted himself in time to block Tyler's next attack. He was about to slash at Tyler's head, but the Agent parried with the other end of his staff, then gave way, letting Uber-Stu skid past him. Tyler whirled around, striking the Stu in the ribs. Uber-Stu yelped, and Tyler took the opportunity to move back and ready a bomb. Uber-Stu was about to charge when a baseball smacked him in the face. He grabbed the baseball, preparing to hurl it back at Tyler, when it exploded, blasting Uber-Stu into a wall.

"Okay, I don't play baseball, but I think that's a walk. You can go to first base." Tyler produced a base from his pouch and tossed it over to the Stu. Too dizzy to think about much else, Uber-Stu stumbled over to it, not noticing Tyler pressing a small button. The base exploded, knocking Uber-Stu to the ground. Tyler grinned widely.

"Okay… that's an out."

Uber-Stu suddenly leapt to his feet, somehow healed. Tyler paled slightly.

"You have a healing factor?"

"Correct. Now, you will die." Uber-Stu lunged with both swords, aiming at Tyler's kidneys, but the Agent stepped around the slashes, getting behind Uber-Stu, then drove his heel into the Stu's Achilles tendon. Uber-Stu screamed in agony, hopping forward, but the injury healed almost instantly, and Tyler fired a series of energy bolts to prevent another lunge.

"Sorry, but there's this thing called 'personal space.' Heard of it? One of the main points is not killing people with pointy sticks."

Uber-Stu yelled a battle cry and charged. Tyler formed an energy shield, blocking the blows.

"Hey, seeing as you're a Stu, I have a question. What's the point of having a glowing sword? All it does is draw attention and center you out as a target."

Uber-Stu instantly stopped pounding on Tyler's shield. He quickly took out a chalkboard and chalk, then began scribbling furiously.

"Okay, so the glow intensity of a weapon is a sign of power, so a more strongly glowing weapon will vibrate, causing more powerful hits. Red represents anger, and is particularly effective against shields, whether magical or physical. Blue is logic, which is highly effective against both red and pink. Green is calm, which is slightly effective against blue and mental attacks, but weak to pink and red. Yellow is happiness, and is effective against almost everything, but is weak to blue. Orange is fear, and has no effect on red or green, but can defeat green and yellow. Purple is lethargy, and has no weaknesses, but no strengths. Pink is passion, and is strong against red or orange, but weak to blue and green. Red-orange is…."

Tyler was taking notes.

Several minutes later….

"Greenish ochre with a touch of rust is…"

"Okay, okay, I get it!"

Uber-Stu paused, surprised.

"Oh, okay then. Die!" Uber-Stu swung his swords at Tyler, pummeling the shield.

"I said… ENOUGH!" Tyler screamed, blasting Uber-Stu off his feet with a burst of magic. The Stu got to his feet, seething.

"Need any help, brother?"

Tyler and Uber-Stu turned. The speaker was another Mii, with the same color scheme, but this one was female.

"I am Uber-Sue, another general in Faya's army."


"I do not understand how expressing the common term for defecation has anything to do with…"

Tyler facepalmed.

"It's a freaking expression!"

"I do not understand how…"

"Shut up! Just shut up!"

"Accepted. You will now die." Uber-Sue pulled out two swords, these ones glowing a pleasant lavender. Tyler pulled a face halfway between revulsion and boredom.

"Please tell me you can fight better than your brother."

"Affirmative. Now, die." Uber-Sue lunged, and Tyler was forced to bring up another shield, knocking her back. This attack was immediately followed up by a jumping slash from Uber-Stu, forming a crack in the shield. Then the Sue and Stu leapt into the air. The entire room was shrouded in a black light.

"Team Combo-Infinite Slashes!"

Uber-Stu slashed the air thousands of times per second, each slash leaving a trail of light. The blades of energy gathered around Uber-Sue, and she connected her blades at the tip. Then the slashes traveled down the glowing blades, which focused them into a beam of pure sword glowyness that fired down at Tyler. The Agent blurred to one side, dodging the beam, but up above, Uber-Sue moved her swords, causing the beam to follow him. Tyler grabbed a small grenade out of his pouch and hurled it at Uber-Sue. The Sue tried to alter the path of the beam, but the explosive hit first. With a loud explosion, amplified by the room, Uber-Sue dropped out of the sky. Uber-Stu let out a cry of rage and swooped down at Tyler.

"I swear, if you've hurt her-,"

"Oh shove it." Tyler grabbed the Stu's arm, swinging him in a circle and hurling him away.

"Despite what you may see, talking is not a free action. It actually takes more time than swinging a sword. Really."

Tyler was about to turn and walk away, but he suddenly stopped dead.

"Oops, can't leave yet! Gotta fire off a parting shot! Because seriously, you two were pathetic! You're both supposed to be Uber, so act like it! C'mon, get a little ability instead of just leaning on your powers! It's really very…" Tyler trailed off. "Oh, right… anyway, bye!" Tyler was about to open a door to another room, when a knife collided with the handle. Tyler turned around.

"Okay, really! That's the oldest cliché ever… or one of them! If you have the accuracy to block my exit by jamming the handle with a knife, why don't you just kill me with it?"

Uber-Stu frowned.

"You have a point… well, I do have another knife, so no harm done."

Tyler paled.

"Oh muffins…" The next knife whizzed toward him, missing him by an inch and embedding itself in the handle, right next to its brother. Another lightbulb appeared over Tyler's head.

"That's it! That throw was blind luck! You were aiming to hit me, weren't you?"

Uber-Stu looked sheepish.

"Well… yes."

"Ah! In that case, I'll give you lessons!" Tyler yanked a knife out of the door and ran over to the Stu.

"Okay, first, you grab the knife by the tip of the blade with your thumb and index…"

"Okay…" Uber-Stu followed Tyler's directions.

"Next, relax your grip on the blade slightly…"

Uber-Stu continued to obey.

"Next, realize I have no idea what I'm talking about…"

"Okay… wait wha-," That was all he could get out before Tyler snatched the knife away.

"And finally, scream in pain as I kill you!" Tyler stabbed at Uber-Stu, but the Stu grabbed the blade, halting the knife.

"Okay, you stay there!" Tyler grabbed a rope out of his pouch, tying it around Uber-Stu's hands. Tyler grabbed a Prohibitor out of his pouch and jammed it onto the Stu.


Suddenly Uber-Stu let out a scream of pain and glowed white. Cracks of blue energy spiderwebbed across him from the Prohibitor. After Uber-Stu was covered in the cracks, he exploded into tiny pixels of light. Tyler paused.

"Weird… just like a Yugioh card…." Tyler suddenly remembered something. "Aiee!" He blurred to one side as Uber-Sue lunged at him. The Sue was apoplectic.

"You… killed… my… BROTHER!"

"Actually, this was more erasing him from existence. What a horrible waste."

"Yes! It was a horrible waste of Stuish life!"

"Actually, I was talking about my Prohibitor. I only get two a mission."

"Super Awesome Pounding Blast of Elemental Cosmic Destruction!"

Tyler's eyes widened.

"Oh dear Arceus…."

Then Uber-Sue fired an energy blast the size of a tennis ball. Tyler moved slightly to one side, dodging. Uber-Sue charged again, slashing at Tyler's head. Tyler took a step back, then pushed Uber-Sue away with a burst of energy.

"That was lame. Five seconds of preparation and you get that?"

"Well, I needed a name for my attacks…"

"No you didn't. And if you really did, name it "Tennis Blast," or something simple."

"Seriously, are you always this annoying?"


"Die already!" Uber-Sue lunged at Tyler, who blocked with another shield of energy.

Tyler gave a thumbs-up.

"Nice! Almost got me there. Just a little hard… oh carp."

Uber-Sue's blow shattered the shield, sending Tyler stumbling backwards. Uber-Sue was about to lunge when an explosion blasted her into a wall. Uber-Sue leapt to her feet, charging, when a pulse of energy stopped her in her tracks. As she prepared to attack again, a shield sprang up around her. The Sue battered the shield, but it refused to budge. As she watched, Tyler tossed an explosive high into the air. Uber-Sue frowned.

"What was the point of that? All you did was waste-," Suddenly the shield disappeared. Uber-Sue grinned and prepared to strike.

"Die, Agent."

Then the chandelier hit.

With a ear-splitting crash and a piercing scream, the chandelier smashed through the floor, carrying Uber-Sue to a painful end. Several shards of glass flew towards Tyler, but he stopped them with a shield. Tyler smirked, then headed toward the balcony to find Faya's palace. From the balcony, Tyler surveyed Neo Verona. He admired the close-up view of the bright blue sky, of the pure white clouds, of the-

-There! Down there, by the monument! Tyler caught a glimpse of tennis court-red hair, and lime-green eyes, and heard the narrator describing the colors with unnecessary and unconventional adjectives. He was about to blur over when he heard a loud wingbeat. Tyler blurred into the air just in time to avoid the swoop of a Ryuba, a dragon steed. He dropped down onto the back of another, forming a shield to prevent being struck by the Ryuba's whipping tail. He spun his staff quickly, parrying a lance thrust from the Ryuba's rider, then pummeled him with a series of energy pulses. The rider swayed in place, then fell, and the Ryuba swerved, unceremoniously depositing him and Tyler back on the balcony. Tyler blurred into the air, then blurred toward the second rider, knocking him off and sending them both flying toward the window leading into Faya's palace. Tyler kicked the rider to one side, formed a shield around himself, then cannonballed straight through the window, entering Faya's palace in an explosion of glass and light. Before hitting the ground, Tyler blurred again, coming to a stop on the other end of the room, seventy feet away from an astounded Faya. The Sue sputtered for a moment, completely speechless. Tyler gave a mock bow. Faya purpled and lunged, tendrils of energy trailing from her hands. Tyler blurred to one side, dodging.

"Wow, I haven't even talked, and you're already trying to kill me. That's probably a record."

Faya snarled, a deep, guttural sound.

"Oh, by the way, what's with Mr. and Ms. Sue?"

Faya smirked.

"My… pet projects, you might say."

"By which you mean…" Tyler prompted.

"Please. I'm not some Hollywood stereotype villain; I'm not telling you my plans. I'm not telling you about my Sue army."

"And yet you just did."


"Great! Can we get to your total humiliation now?"

"Die!" Faya lunged, slashing at Tyler with a huge sword she seemed to pull out of nowhere. Tyler blurred away.

"You have a limited vocabulary, you know that? Just 'Die!' and 'Perish!' Sign of a small mind, they say."

"Hey!" Faya charged again, but Tyler blurred away, and Faya's sword crashed down onto her throne, shattering it.

"Ooh, that looked expensive."

"It was!" Faya wailed. "It cost five thousand dollars!"

"Did you even pay for it?"

"Well… no…"

"Stop complaining. I broke a ruler yesterday. It cost twenty dollars, and I didn't give a damn."

Faya frowned. "Why not?"

"Because I ate it. But that's not the point. The point is that you suck, and I don't."

"I do not suck!"

"Sooo… what you're saying is that you're a broken vacuum cleaner."

"No!" Faya lunged at Tyler, who tossed a smoke bomb, shrouding the palace room in black fog.

"Ahh, mist bombs. So much more ecological," Tyler said calmly. A loud thud emanated from nowhere. "Oh, and you might want to watch out for the sliver. You could trip on it."

When the fog cleared, Tyler was still where he had been when he had thrown the bomb. Faya was getting to her feet from where she had tripped and fallen. Tyler stuck out his tongue.

"Come on, you're a Sue! Stop being so clumsy!"

Faya's eyes widened. "B-but… but…. being clumsy was my author disproving my Suishness."

Tyler facepalmed. "Does it really matter? You're not actually ever clumsy, except once in a blue moon when your author remembers that that's how they described you. And then they go over the top with you tripping over yourself to prove how incredibly clumsy you are. Then, point made, they forget about it and have you performing amazing feats of balance and precision. Then they remember 'Oops! Faya is supposed to be clumsy!" and have another chapter of you being completely useless. Am I correct?"


"My point. How did your author pick your name anyway?"

"Well, they liked the name 'Faya,' but they also wanted the name 'Wargana.' Then they decided they wanted an initial, because it was cool. They needed a number, because I was in a royal lineage, even though I didn't know it, and one of them accidentally banged their fist on the keyboard when they yelled at their friend for saying that I was a Sue, which, by the way, I totally am not, and then they couldn't bring themselves to delete it. So that's how I got my name."

Tyler's jaw dropped.

"That…is one of the most Suish things I have had the misfortune of hearing in my whole, 6-or-7 month existence."

"No it's not! Anyway, then my authors posted my story, which was totally perfect and had me sacrificing myself for Jeena, but since the authors didn't want me to die, they had the blast still hit Jeena, and then Jeena died so I could be with Rallen, then I brought Jeena back, but she said Rallen was too good for her and let him stay with me. Then the authors got flames that I was a Sue, which were completely wrong, so they quit because the reviewers were mean. They wrote some more of their story for their friends, and I got even more perfect! But then their friends got mean and said I was a Sue, so they quit my story and left me to fester."

Tyler blinked. Then he resumed eating an arm of Faya's throne. A vein pulsed in Faya's forehead.

"That was my backstory you idiot! You're supposed to listen with horror and sympathize with, then forgive, all my past misdeeds!"

"Sorry, but 'Attempting to warp the fabric of a universe,' isn't that forgivable."

"Oh that's it!" Faya held out her sword, which glowed with an unearthly red light. "Any last words?"
Tyler smirked. "Just one..."

Faya's jaw dropped.

"What… the heck… was that?"

Tyler grinned.

"That, as you so eloquently refer to it, is an extremely long name for a molecule found it tobacco. I've always wanted to say it. Also, it apparently kept you from killing me long enough for me to prepare every single explosive I'm carrying in this pouch."

Faya scoffed. "So? You've probably got nothing left."

Tyler made a tsk-tsk sound and wagged his finger. "To the contrary! This is a Bag of Holding, stolen from D&D! It holds several dozen cubic feet of matter." Then Tyler gave the bag a hard shake, and Faya saw exactly how many explosives Tyler had crammed into the bag. She paled.



*This scene has been censored due me always wanting to say that. Please enjoy this fuzzy bunny rabbit*

 (") (")

*We return to the main production*

When the smoke from the explosion cleared, Faya had been embedded into her throne, despite her being on the wrong end of the blast. Tyler was standing where Faya had stood before the explosion, covered in a shield of light. The Agent stuck out his tongue at the downed Sue. Then he realized something.

"Oh crap. I taunted a opponent, I am so screwed I am so screwed…"

Suddenly a huge explosion of light burst forth from the throne, obliterating it. Tyler was forced to close his eyes. A second later, Faya rose out of the ashes of her throne, encased in a cocoon of rainbow light. Tyler gulped.

"No way we can settle this like civil human beings, is there?"

Faya pretended to think about it. "No. No, not really."


Faya sent a huge blade of energy flying toward Tyler, who flung up a shield. However, the blast plowed right through Tyler's shield, smashing the Agent into the far wall. Tyler slowly got to his feet, blood dripping from his chest. He sighed theatrically.

"Jeez, Faya… I just… got out… of the hospital. No need to put… me back in."

"Yes. Yes there is. You have chased me through five different universes."

"And you… tried to destroy… five different universes."

"But I'm a Sue, therefore I am to be forgiven."

"No… not really."

"Well, when they don't forgive me, they have to die." Faya levitated into the air, a pink light surrounding her. Below, Tyler's eyes widened.

"Faya… I have three requests."

The Sue scoffed. "You can ask."

"First… stop warping fandoms."

Faya scoffed again. "Not a chance."

"Second… stop trying to kill me."


Then Tyler's eyes narrowed to slits.

"And finally… stop… using… PINK!" Suddenly Tyler rocketed at Faya, propelled by a blast of energy. The Sue didn't even have time to think before Tyler's knee slammed into her face. Then she felt herself zooming back into a wall as Tyler kicked her away. As she smashed into the wall, the pink aura dissipated, and Tyler's eyes returned to normal. Then he realized where he was.

"Oh… muffins…"

Then he fell toward the ground.

Just before impact, Tyler grabbed his Scene Transition and activated it.

Faya watched Tyler slam into the ground as she disentangled herself from the wall. She smirked, but then she noticed something. The Agent was still breathing. Pausing only to scowl at him, she raised her sword, then lunged…

Then, so fast Faya couldn't even register it, a Plothole opened and a flash of black shot from it. Faya felt a horrible pain in her back, and she was flung thirty feet across the hard wooden floor.


Tyler snapped awake with a jolt of pain as the memories of the Scene Transition flashed through his head. He pulled himself up into a sitting position, and watched as the black blur materialized only ten feet from the injured Faya. It seemed to be a stick figure, dressed in black, with glowing red eyes. As Tyler watched, it brandished a pair of serrated, almost rusty-looking, swords. Faya stood, drawing her sword impossibly fast and lunging. Tyler was sure that the stick figure would be dead in an instant. But just as Faya's blow landed, it was matched. Both swords had somehow risen in time to block. Tyler raised an eyebrow, then was brought back to reality by a burst of pain that reminded him he was probably about to die. He reached for his Plothole Generator and quickly opened a Plothole, dropping through it.

Faya dodged a series of supernaturally fast strikes, each one leaving a sonic boom in their wake. She quickly parried, then lashed out, knocking her assailant away. The stick figure ground to a halt, then glared at Faya, its eyes full of menace. Faya glared back.

"Who are you, anyway? And why are you trying to kill me?"

When the figure spoke, its voice was like a buzzsaw.

"I am Shade."


"Yes. I was ordered by Runoa to kill you."

Faya frowned. "What?"

"She has discovered your army and your plans. You are in her way. You must die." Before Faya could even respond, Shade was behind her, stabbing her through the head. Faya's eyes dimmed, and she crumpled, disintegrating. Shade paused momentarily, then disappeared.


In the Library…

Tyler sat up in a hospital bed, trying to figure out what had happened since he had gone through the Plothole. He decided that while he had been unconscious, Faya had escaped again. As far as he knew, there was no evidence to the contrary. Then a door opened and Drake walked in. Tyler waved.


"Hi," Drake replied.

"Faya escaped?" Tyler asked.

Drake made an odd face. "No, actually. That being that called itself Shade killed her." Then Tyler's eyes went wide.

"WHAAAT? I wanted that honor! I swear, when I get out of this sickroom, I'm going to-OW!" Tyler dropped back down as a surge of pain ran through him. "I am going to kill that stick figure."

Drake raised an eyebrow, then left quickly.


Somewhere else in the Library…

"Did you bring enough paint?"

"Yes, Miss."

"Good." Camille smirked. "When Tyler gets out of the hospital, he is getting a big surprise…."

Then Doyle looked in the paint cans. "Miss, this is pink paint."


"Don't you remember the last time you painted Tyler's room pink?"

"Yes, but this time I also have a tranquilizer dart."



Somewhere else in the multiverse….

Relyt turned to Ekard. "Is everything going as planned?"

Ekard groaned. "You've asked that five times already! Just because the readers might be watching… but yes."


Friday, October 14, 2011

Insert Evident Demonic Contract Here

Karissa lay back in her hospital bed and heaved a great sigh.

She was lucky, really she was. She was lucky to only get away with a couple dozen minor scratches and a second degree bruise, considering that she had entered the Call of Duty 4 fandom. Instead, she could have been dead.

But try as she might, for the hundredth time Karissa couldn't completely convince herself that she was really really lucky. The moderate rupture of the capillaries under her skin was what classified her bruise as one of the second degree. Right now, the increased internal bleeding meant that the spot where Maya had punched her had swelled dramatically, she felt brutal pain, and she couldn't move her arm – much – at all. Exactly how could she look at that in a favourable light?

Karissa sighed again, and then she quickly rolled over onto her good arm to avoid a half-hearted slap from her sister.

"Thank God that you came back safely," Charis said with a half-audible sob in her voice. "I don't even want to think about how you could have been hurt worse. So STOP sighing about what most people would say is only a TINY bit of damage to your FACE. What's a face? As long as you can still see, hear, taste and speak out of those vital parts of your face, I'm fine with that."

Karissa hadn't even started complaining about the injuries on her face, but like always her sister was capable of thinking far ahead of her on the same train of thought. The haphazardly applied cuts under Karissa's chestnut eyes took up space on most of the surface of her pale cheeks, and she simply hated that. She didn't like to call herself vain, but after all, the face was a girl's most precious possession. She sincerely wished that her ability was strong enough that she could play at being an invisible woman around the Library until the blemishes on her skin vanished. But no, if she tried to remain unnoticeable for that long she'd certainly pass out.


At that moment, Tyler Kahn poked his head into the sick room, and Karissa blushed. It was embarrassing that Tyler had been the one to pull her to safety on their last disastrous mission. The boy was, what, 4'5", and he'd dragged a 5'10" girl into the relative protection of a standing building. She couldn't have looked very attractive, being unconscious in the first place, and then being hauled around by a much smaller person. Still, she was thankful that in times of desperation people of all kinds could tap into previously unknown strength. Without Tyler's help she would be dead.

"Delivery!" Tyler said cheerfully. Apparently, Tyler had recently started up an errand service in exchange for payments in chocolate. Charis stood up to her respective height of 5'8" to receive her package, and even she turned into someone tall around the shorter agent. That made her look all the more ridiculous when she slouched down and very obviously looked around stealthily before slipping him a whole 500g Toblerone bar.

"The extra ensures that you'll eat this somewhere private where no one else will see you. Don't tell anyone I carry this kind of sugar around," Charis whispered quite urgently. The minimum tip for one of Tyler's deliveries was currently set at 50g of chocolate – not enough people used his service, yet, to drive up the price – but she was more worried about other Agents hounding her for similar sweets at all hours than she was about being too generous with him right now.

Tyler had instantly zoned in on the rather hefty piece of chocolate, and he nodded his agreement in the midst of a semi-daze. After pocketing the chocolate pyramid in a pocket of his shorts he didn't take long to see to his way out. Once he'd left, Charis skilfully ripped the tape off the cardboard envelope she'd requested. She shook it tenderly until a mess of gleaming silver chain was deposited on her palm, at which Karissa took merely one look before blurting out "Charm bracelet!" A look of understanding flitted through her eyes.

"This was the invention you submitted for screening in order to be accepted into the ACMSES Science Department. You wouldn't tell me what it was." Karissa held the exquisite piece of jewellery fondly – suddenly being a very proper type of girl, she loved jewellery at this point – but Charis looked at it affectionately too, because her sister was right. This bracelet had won her entry into the Society, the Library, and it had earned her an exclusive laboratory of her very own.

"Don't you want to know what it does? I call this a Citation."

"Um, citations reference different documents, right?" Karissa had to check to make sure. Although she was only two years younger than her sister, she was totally a product of the computer age, so by preference all her information came from Wikipedia. She knew even those articles were written based on other sources, but all she felt she needed to credit was Wikipedia; similarly, she would say she got a cute picture from Google Image Search, but she had no idea what photographer actually took the photo.

"Y-es. My Citation works almost like a Crossover, but since citations can also reference unpublished works...the Agent who uses the Citation will be able to bring over elements of a story not finished being written. Its power will vary greatly depending on the calibre of writer inside each Agent."

"Wow." Karissa's mouth fell open. "No wonder they let you enter the Science Department. I never would have thought of creating something like that."

"Well my gadget's not that original. Like I said, it's very similar to a Crossover. I imagine there was another reason I was hired the remarkable fact that the Science Department is understaffed." With a flip of her auburn hair, Charis asserted that she wouldn't let compliments slide past her usual modesty for a moment.

Karissa smiled in response while fingering the miniature charms on the bracelet, a pewter rose and a stylized "D". "Do the charms on the bracelet have anything to do with the certain documents that you can call upon?"
"Not really. By sheer force of will, most Agents will be able to cross-over a story of their own as long as they wear the Citation and are thinking properly. The charms just ask as visual reminders of stories they've used before, and besides, they're stylish don't you think?" Charis reached over to fasten the unclasped ends of the bracelet around Karissa's somewhat skinny wrist. "But no one's used my Citations yet, so on yours I just fashioned charms for fandoms that you've already visited. I couldn't give my sister a present without decorations."

"Ah." The rose must represent the Vampire Knight fandom, and the "D" represented the DGray-man fandom. "You're too good to me, Charis." Karissa's voice was laced with equal parts regret and responsibility. "I'm sorry that I took off without giving you notice last time. If Douglas– if Tash and Adrian hadn't needed virtually every Agent's help, there's no way I would leave my favourite sister in the dark." She made a shaky laugh. "Look at me, I sound like I'm your senior, or something."

Charis shrugged, her hazel eyes clear of her sister's guilt-induced pain. "That's the way you are. I love you like that."


"Delivery!" The sisters' potentially emotional moment was cut short by another familiar cry. They both stared at the reappearance of Tyler.

"What? I didn't ask you for another favour, Tyler," Charis said curiously.

"I know. This citation – and by that I mean a summons – is from Tash. Guess what? She gave me British chocolate in payment!" Tyler munched happily on the much-sweeter cocoa mixture.

"A summons from Tash?" Charis looked aghast. "But Karissa's in no shape to go on another mission."

"But that must mean Lela's resurfaced!" Karissa exclaimed at the same time. She made an odd little bounce on her bed. "Help me up, Charis, I have to catch this Sue!"

"Really, what did she ever do to you?" Charis muttered. She wasn't as much of a pacifist towards Sues as compared to their shared Author, but she really didn't think Karissa gallivanting about at this time was a good idea. Nevertheless she eased her sister's arm over her shoulder, providing a stable surface to lean upon, and Karissa followed up by swinging her legs off the bed. As soon as her feet touched the ground she somewhat too enthusiastically insisted on standing on her own.

Charis took back her hands reluctantly. "Did Tash happen to mention what fandom Lela's in?"


"Kuroshitsuji, otherwise known as Black Butler."

Karissa nodded emphatically. "Oh, yes, I know that fandom. It's one of my favourites, in fact."

Tash consulted the computer print-out in front of her. "I see. What can you tell me about it? When I searched up related fanfiction they all seemed to be romances, despite this manga being in the Horror genre."

Karissa seemed knowledgeable about this problem too. "The romance would be on account of the number of people who write slash fics about the two main characters, Ciel Phantomhive and Sebastian Michaelis. Kuroshitsuji is basically about the relationship between those two; one the head of an extremely powerful noble family in Victorian-era London, and the other his butler." Karissa paused. She had been going to go on and say, "The curious part of their relationship is that Sebastian is really a demon summoned by Ciel to help him in his revenge," but all of a sudden she stopped to think of the disadvantages to uttering that statement. Sebastian was able to accomplish all sorts of impossible tasks as the Phantomhive butler because he was a demon, and pretty much a Stu if it came to that. To admit that she might have to face a person of such power if she were to capture Lela would only alarm the ACMSES leader. Kuroshitsuji wasn't on the Black List as of now, but Tash only had to be a little more enlightened before she would probably choose to add it to the list.

Karissa squashed her lips together firmly. She opened her mouth once more just to say simply, "That's about it."

"Okay, then, the situation doesn't seem so bad. Go in, retrieve Lela, and get out without any more injuries." Tash touched pointedly on her unhealed injuries. "If you hadn't personally requested to deal with every reappearance of Lela yourself, you wouldn't be on this mission. Good luck and be on your way."


As Karissa hurried away towards the nearest Library portal, she muttered under her breath, "First, I really need to find a guy," and she changed course.


When Karissa finally arrived in the Kuroshitsuji fandom, she brought two unusual – unusual for her, anyways – things with her. One was a completely different wardrobe. She had swapped her typical all-red and historically inappropriate attire for a simple but elegantly cut mauve gown. It had a cross-over bodice that contributed to a "V" neckline, and the bodice was fitted to create sleeves that were short and puffed. The waistline of the gown was fitted as well, with a small peplum that attached to the waistline. The skirt was straight with a slit at the center back. She wore a light brown ribbon belt above her hips, and a sleek brown fur large-brim hat with a grey brocade underside and coque feather accents sat atop her head. She might not look the part of a princess, but Karissa was confident that she could at least pass herself off as the daughter of a low Baron.

The second "abnormality" that she had willingly brought with her was a partner. A contentedly snacking Tyler had been bribed into dressing in a completely grey Victorian men's outfit. That included shirt, vest, tailcoat, pants, tie, gloves and top hat. Tyler's current mood belied the difficulties he had given Karissa earlier, two arguments that altogether had caused them to arrive in the fandom an hour late. He predictably hadn't wanted to dress up – to deal with that, Karissa had to surrender a bar of Amedei's Chauo that she had been saving for years - and he'd had some sort of fit when he saw her dress, too, claiming mauve was a shade of pink no matter how you looked at it. Karissa hadn't known what to make of that, so all she could come up with was a heated retort, "It's not!" In the latter case, mere verbal persuasion hadn't been quite adequate enough. Karissa had to promise, on top of everything else, that before they left the fandom she would buy Tyler a month's worth of Funtom chocolate (the Phantomhive's Funtom company made a tidy profit selling sweets and toys in Kuroshitsuji). In the end, she didn't think she would mind the purchase much, because the expense was definitely worth it. The ACMSES Agents currently stood on a stretch of street opposite the Big Ben, and judging by the reactions of the Londoners passing them they completely blended in with the manga's setting.

Assured that they were attracting no undue attention, Karissa decided that they'd better get started with their search for Lela. "Come, dear brother," she said, tugging on Tyler's sleeve. There weren't that many circumstances that allowed for young single girls of perceived high birth to wander the city alone. However, she hadn't wanted to hire an outsider – an adult, to boot - to pose as her chaperone (if she were female) or tutor (if he were male), so that only left the role of a male family member who could escort her about without scandal. Additionally, she figured that since Tyler was pretending to be her younger brother it wouldn't look too odd if she took charge of any situation that might crop up. After all, Tyler had professed he'd never heard of this series before. The admission had caused Karissa pain, but so be it. Karissa led Tyler into a brisk speed walk towards the nearest intersection. When she stopped abruptly in the street, two things resulted: a driver was forced to yank sharply on the reins of his horse team in order to avoid trampling her – so she escaped being killed – and Tyler ran into her from behind.

"What's your problem?" Tyler complained loudly. He was no less cheerful, but he had dropped his bar of chocolate on the dirty pavement, rendering it further inedible.

"I said were you planning to walk by without even a polite 'Hello', Agents?" A playful-sounding voice reached both of their ears. The sweetness inherent in Lela's voice was indecent, and yet fully expected from a Mary-Sue.

"Someone who wanted to be welcomed shouldn't hide in convenient shadows where there's naturally a lack of light," Karissa groused. She was understandably shaken from her near-death experience.

"Oho, someone's in a bad mood." If Lela noticed Karissa's inflated case of nerves, she didn't let on. However, she took great pleasure in noticing something else. "Did you get beaten?" Lela skipped forward to push Karissa's sleeves up, looking into her face at the same time. "Scrapes, scratches and bruises, oh my!" She giggled amusedly.

At Lela's touch, Karissa had instinctively fought against the other girl's hold; strangely, she was unable to break it. Tyler had also reacted near-immediately – reaching out prepared to give the Sue a hard shove on the shoulder – but yet another person stopped him.

"I wouldn't dare touch the Young Mistress if I were you."

Deeper in the shadows, another figure slowly took shape. She was of average height and had about the same stature as Lela – so that meant she was 5'5", slender, and then slightly curvaceous. Although her body was clearly young, something about her demeanour told the Agents that she was undeniably an adult. This stranger must have been somewhere between 22 and 29, which would explain the sophistication that added to her already considerable dark beauty. Black-haired and black-clad, it had been the tone in this woman's voice alone that froze Tyler cold. She walked deliberately to Lela's side and hovered there subserviently.
"Agents, may I introduce Viva Fontaine Sirius Heather Shevon Cello Miriam Skerry. I'm grateful to say that she has entered my employment as my governess."

Karissa asked while still trapped in Lela's grip, "She's a Sue?"

Viva chose to answer for her master. "I am a Sue because Young Mistress bid me so."

"What the heck?" Tyler was sceptical, but Karissa's mouth formed a little 'O' of comprehension.

"You're under contract to Lela, aren't you?" The smug silence that answered her was the worst possible reply. "Lela, what happened to your ears? I seem to remember Bookmarking – and then Booklighting – you." Karissa eyed her nemesis from the peculiar angle offered by being held too close to the girl. Lela also wore a stunning dress, but in her case she'd opted for extravagance rather than style. Her costume consisted of a pale pink and cream satin gown emphasized with lace. The bodice was made in the Princess line, and was seamed and gored for a moulded fit. It fastened with laces at the front, had a deep square neckline, extended into drapes at the hips – which merged with the train that fell in inverted pleats from the seams of the bodice – and to the sides the sleeves were elbow-length and narrow but slashed. Lela wore gloves over her arms up to the beginnings of her sleeves, but she wore no hat, so Karissa could tell that nowhere on that perfectly coiffed head were the characteristic cocker spaniel ears that should have been there.

"What do you think I sacrificed to summon Viva? Among fulfilling other conditions I had to hurt, badly." The act of recalling the memory made Lela wince in ghostly pain. "I had to have protection, though. Acting as my governess, Viva will protect me from the Society until I die."

"And then she will have your soul," Karissa added woodenly.

"Well, yes." Lela remained nonchalant as a dumbfounded Tyler caught up to their conversation at last.

"I didn't think you would have the guts to form a contract with a demon. Love is the game you prefer."

"Oh, I found that in this fandom too." Lela turned to the side – releasing Karissa after great length – as two distinguished gentlemen rounded the corner. Karissa identified Ciel and Sebastian on sight, and she couldn't keep a goofy smile off her face.

Tyler noticed the men, but not his partner's signs of recognition. "Excuse me, sir, you should take the kid and leave this area. We're having a, um, disagreement here." In an attempt to secure the safety of canon characters from the influence of the Sues, Tyler made a grave misjudgement in character.

Ciel Phantomhive glared straight at Tyler with the one sapphire eye not covered by his eye patch. "Just who do you think you're addressing as a child? I am the Earl of Phantomhive! As a nobleman I have more right to be on this street than you, and furthermore I suspect you are harassing my sister!"

"Eh? Sister?" Both Agents' faces were mirrors of surprise.

Lela dashed forward to envelop Ciel in a hug, although she took care to accommodate his unhealthily delicate frame. "Ciel! You found me! I paused for just a moment in front of the bookstore, and when I next looked you were gone! Thank goodness Viva stayed by my side. She was there to calm me, and she was the one who suggested that we stay put until you returned for us."

Ciel kept his haughty expression, but simultaneously he massaged the small of Lela's back to sooth her. "I told you never to fall behind me. What would you have done if you'd been lost in another part of London? Like Whitechapel, for example?" Ciel's perfectly composed features resembled those of a feminine china doll. The first impression that Tyler formed of the lord wasn't favourable. "To give credit where it's due, it is Sebastian that you should thank, not me." Ciel waved a gloved hand airily at his companion.

"Sebastian! Thank you!" For her part, Karissa thought Lela overdid the theatrics when she began bowing to a servant. It didn't matter that the servant was such a fine specimen of male form; there was no reason a noble should not take a butler's work for granted. Unless-

Karissa exhaled in frustration. Which one of the two had fallen victim to Lela's wiles in this fandom? If only she could figure that out, either Tyler or herself could stick a Copyright on that person. Maybe they ought to put stickers on both of them, just to be safe.

Tyler seemed to be a step ahead of her. He'd already called his axle-shaped staff to hand. He was about to charge Ciel – who was closest to him – when Karissa abruptly remembered, "Shoot! Sebastian will kill Tyler if he thinks he's trying to harm Ciel!"

"Tyler! Lose the weapon! Just use a Copyright!" she called. Tyler shot her a momentarily confused glance, but he didn't look like he was going to shift his staff back into a ping-pong paddle. Karissa silently urged him to trust her while she looked around to see what else she could utilize in the inevitable fight. When her gaze alighted on accessory upon her wrist, she decided that she could use the Citation to distract Sebastian from her partner, at least. Sebastian had just noticed Tyler's approach to his master. With a toothy leer he took a running start to intercept the Agent.

Karissa squeezed a small charm in her hand and she felt her heart rise up in her throat.

The world imploded in darkness as two small bodies forcefully impacted both Sebastian and Viva, who had been ready to pinion Tyler between them. Karissa knew the signature of her cousins even with her eyes closed. Alix was one of two twins who could dissipate into darkness itself; Lisle, the other twin, was an Elemental of Darkness. Karissa's eyes snapped open. The girls looked like they were holding their own against the two demons, but past them Tyler appeared to be going in for a killing blow. He raised one end of his staff high.

"Viva! Save my brother!" Lela's screech cleft the shadow-ridden night.

Both demons reacted to her call, but Alix and Lisle could only keep one of them back. Karissa skipped forward in her long dress to slap her Copyright on a grotesquely deformed Sebastian even as he stretched to impale Tyler with a clawed hand. "Kyaaaa!" Before her eyes, her Author's creations suddenly disappeared in a puff of smoke. Although she'd copyrighted Sebastian, it looked like he would still kill Tyler for pointing a weapon at his contractor.

"Stop it! Sebastian! Don't kill him!" Karissa, staggered, whirled to stare at Ciel Phantomhive – the Earl had just saved her partner's life. The tip of Tyler's staff still rested on the teenager's head, and attached to cloud-grey hair by less than half of its surface area was a Copyright sticker. She cried out in relief.

"Sebastian, suddenly I am in repossession of my senses. Whoever these Baronets are, they have acted as the catalyst to remind me that I have no sister." Ciel levelled his formidable gaze on Lela threateningly. "If I hypothetically had a sister, I certainly wouldn't have committed incest either."

"Gross. This time you went after a thirteen year old!" Karissa protested. "That's against the law, you know." She should have known that it was Ciel whom Lela had courted. Lela "didn't date older men" so that explained why she had bypassed Sebastian. And her scream as she had thought Ciel was going to die had sounded almost heartfelt. A scream-

"Viva, I told you to save my 'brother'. Kill the Agents that oppose us." Circles of power became visible through Lela's mass of dark hair, where her dog ears had been ripped out. The two symbols flashed brightly, creating a halo effect about Lela. Viva reappeared out of the air above her master as she hurtled towards Karissa and Tyler with both hands extended and murder in her eyes. Twin circles glowed underneath the skin of her palms.

They couldn't hope to survive but Tyler activated a Scene Transition with remarkable alacrity.


"So when you woke up, the memories planted in your mind told you that Sebastian interceded to save you, and rather than continue to battle Lela simply ordered Viva to 'come with her' and go?"

"I think Lela was emotionally attached to Ciel most of all the beaus she's had so far." Karissa spoke carefully to Tash from her hospital bed, to which she'd been confined once more. "It mattered to her that as soon as we copyrighted Ciel his attitude towards her changed completely. I don't think Lela's encountered a Copyright before. She must have believed that her relationships were real and lasting. I'm not even sure she knew that Zero and Allen both went back to normal once she left their respective fandoms."

"It's not presumptuous of a Sue to think that her lovers will continue to pine after her."

"No," Karissa agreed. "But I think Lela's naïveté nonetheless contributes to her assumption." Ba-bump. Clutching her aching chest, Karissa asked, "What do you think, Tyler?"

Tyler sat up in his bed in much the same manner as Karissa, with a hand over his heart. "All I'll say is that Lela is probably a Level 6 Sue now. Her intentions might have humble origins, but her actions have become increasingly twisted. She should be monitored to prevent a rise to Level 7. That's especially true since - if she were to experience a sharp rise in aggression - she now has Viva to cause lots of damage on her behalf." Ba-bump. Both Agents whimpered as their heartbeats caused them a surge in pain.

"Although that Ciel kid decided to help you guys, his butler didn't stop Viva from bruising you." Tash tsk'd worriedly. "If Viva's hands had gone all the way through your chests, she would have taken out something vital. As things stand, I can't guess how long it will take for your contusions to heal." Earlier, Tash had seen the perfectly straight black lines below both their breastbones. Viva's fingertips had hit them with enough might to cause instant and severe bruising. The longer nails of her third and fourth fingers had also punctured Karissa's and Tyler's skin to draw blood.

"Karissa, we are discontinuing your sister's Citations for now. Seeing as none of us are truly Authors – at our best we are Self-Inserts, merely representations of our Author selves – the crossover effect of the device isn't enduring. I'm glad that it worked - even for a minute - for you, but the length of time available to the next Agent to wear a Citation would be unknown. I don't want anyone to get hurt - any more." Tash smiled wanly. "I need you to give up your charm bracelet."

As if she'd expected this, Karissa motioned to the bracelet already pooled on the corner of her bedside table. She held it out to Tash, and then weakly raised her fingers to assist her in accounting for all of the pieces. "One. The chain itself. Two. The rose charm for Vampire Knight. Three. The alphabet charm for DGrayman. Four. The bell." The Citation wasn't the same as when Charis had first clasped it to her sister's wrist. An extra three centimetres of chain extended past the lobster claw, ending in the aforementioned bell. Karissa had used the "extender" attached to the Citation to summon Cay's characters Alix and Lisle. "Charis will cry an awful lot once you let her into the room," she said. Karissa meant that her sister would take the news of her gadget's termination poorly, but she was being remarkably obtuse.

The Society leader corrected her, "Charis will cry anyways, looking at you."

"Tash." Karissa paused. "I need someone to go back into the Kuroshitsuji fandom to run an errand for me. I made a promise-" She peeked away from Tyler. "I promised to buy some chocolate."

"Tyler won't be eating any chocolate for a long while," Tash replied firmly, somehow knowing exactly who Karissa meant. "If he's bouncing off the walls as a result of sugar then he won't stay in bed."

"Hey! I'm right here! Don't talk about me in third person!"

"You can go back into Kuroshitsuji once you're well again," Tash pretended that she hadn't heard Tyler say a word. "What with the Copyrights and the Sues' departure, the storyline has resumed its natural flow. I heard that the next chapter is due soon too."

"Hmm, okay." For some reason Karissa seemed inordinately disappointed. She endured Charis' hysteria upon seeing her for a couple of days, and on the third day of her bed rest she managed to procure the latest copy of Monthly GFantasy (in which Kuroshitsuji was published), but on the fourth day she remained unaccountably sad. She was heard to mumble, "Can no one break the cycle?"