Insert Assassins in Italy Here

(Note: There will be some dialog in Danish in this fic, with translations into English after the * symbols.)

Pete and Joe were standing in front of each other, in one of the Society's training rooms, getting ready for some morning combat training. They had a bamboo sword in each hand, kendo helmets on their heads and they were dressed in black training pants "Okay let's go over this one more time just so we're clear, first one to get hit on the upper body loses." Pete said.

"Exactly, now let's get started." Joe said and immediately used his force jump to propel him into the air, his swords raised and ready to strike. Pete crossed his swords in an effort to block Joe's obvious attack. What he didn't count on, was that Joe only used one sword to hit the block, before landing and using his other sword to swipe at Pete.

Pete quickly caught on to Joe's strategy and jumped to the side, dodging Joes attack in the process. He quickly got to his feet and said "Nice move Joe, but I'm not letting you win that easily." Pete tossed one of his swords into the air, before throwing the other one directly at Joe. He started running towards Joe, catching the sword as he ran, the 'blade' pointing downwards.

Joe deflected the thrown sword, and was ready to do the same to Pete. But instead of going for the obvious slash, Pete switched direction and headed for his discarded sword instead "What the hell." Joe said, and without thinking, he used his force jump to reach the sword first.

Pete saw Joe landing, and made a quick decision to keep running, and see what happened. Joe raised his swords to swing at his opponents' side. Pete raised his own sword and blocked the slash, he then slid down the 'blades' and delivered a hit to Joes side, and thus ending the fight "Nice tactic there, making me go for you, so you could hit me." Joe said and touched knuckles with Pete.

"What tactic, I just wanted my sword back." Pete said as he picked up his own sword.

"Well, I guess that was pretty idiotic of me." Joe said, tapping one of his swords against the floor, thinking about what to do next. He put the sword over his shoulder, and held up the other one, ready to attack, and asked "Rematch?".

Pete held up his own swords and said "You're on." He then ran up to Joe and started exchanging sword blows with him.

The two continued fighting for another half hour (Insert training montage and music here), before they sat down and had a drink of water. They then went to the kitchen to get some breakfast, but they had hardly filled their bowls with cereal and milk, when the door was opened by Michael, who was carrying a mission file under his arm "Hey guys, sorry to disturb you during breakfast, but we got an urgent mission for you in the Assassin's creed fandom."

Joe took a spoonful of cereal and asked "Which of the games is it?" He then put the spoon in his mouth and started chewing.

Michael quickly opened the file and said "It's the one called 'Brotherhood', and the Sue is one you've met before, Joe."

Joe almost choked on the cereal, but managed to swallow it, before he said the name of the Sue, who beat him in the 'Fantastic four' fandom "Devlina."

"Exactly, and it seems she's found a partner in crime, a level 5 Sue, Two levels lower than herself. Also we've detected some weird readings all over Rome."

"Weird. How are the readings weird?" Pete asked.

"We don't know. They look like some sort characters, but they seem incomplete, and there's two with a completely different signature from anything else inside the fandom, it's really weird.".

"Yeah, that really sounds weird." Joe said before taking another spoonful of his cereal. After accepting the mission, Michael left the room, leaving the two agents to finish their breakfast. Joe turned to his friend and asked "Could it be that Devlina is in possession of the ideas, that was stolen from our author?"

"It is a possibility, but I wonder what was up with those two unknown signatures." Pete said. The two finished their breakfast, and then went to their rooms to get their gear, and they were soon on their way to begin their mission.

O-O-O

The two agents screamed as they fell out of the plothole and into the river that surrounded the Tiber Island. Joe was the first to resurface, followed closely by Pete. He spit out the water he had gotten in his mouth and said "I'm starting to hate water, I mean, first World of warcraft and now this."

Pete did the same as his partner and said "Me too, I hope our next mission is in a desert." The agents swam to Tiber Island, where they took a moment on the small dock, to see what roles they had been assigned this time around, and were pleasantly surprised to see that they had become assassin novices. They looked at their left wrists and smiles spread across their faces, because on their wrists, a hidden blade was mounted "This is gonna the best mission ever." Pete said as he flicked his wrist, to make the blade spring forth.

"Yeah, I'm just wondering if we could smuggle these out of the fandom." Joe said as he too admired the small mechanical device on his wrist.

"Well, we should be able to, since it's never explained where the novices get them from." Pete said and retracted the blade with another flick of his wrist. The agents climbed the docks stairs to street level, where they started walking towards one of the bridges that lead into the actual city of Rome "So, where should we start looking for our Sueish foes?" Pete asked as they walked through the city, trying their best not to attract attention.

"Well, if I was a Mary Sue, in a world more or less controlled by the church, I would try to become the highest ranking of said church, even though it makes absolutely no sense in actual history. So I'd say we should try the Vatican first." Joe said as he stopped to look at some weapons that were on sale in one of the shops.

"Right, we'll start there then." Pete said as he looked out for any guards. He suddenly noticed something that totally didn't fit into the world. The something turned out to be a man, dressed as a mad scientist, and a person draped in a green cloak, which looked like something from the middle ages. Pete tapped Joe on the shoulder, all the while all the while keeping an eye on the two mysterious persons, and asked "Do you see, what I see, Joe?"

Joe looked up from a display of knives and looked in the direction; his partner was looking, all the while getting a confused expression on his face "Well, if you're seeing doctor Insano, who's armed to the teeth and the green version of Raven from teen titans, then I'm seeing exactly what you're seeing." Joe said as he rolled up his sleeve to expose the biosuit containment unit.

"I guess I'm not crazy after all. You think that could be the two signals, they couldn't identify?" Pete asked as he summoned his rider belt, ready to activate it if something went wrong.

"I'm pretty much convinced that it is." Joe said and pulled his badge out of his item pouch and started walking towards the two. Pete got his own badge out and walked after his partner.

O-O-O

"Ooooh look at this, Doctor." Ashlin said as she held up a picture of a demon and an angel, fighting one another.

Neosano looked up from a collection of small metal figurines in the stall next to the one with the paintings, and said "That is very nice indeed; it would look good on one of the walls in your room." He reached into one of his coats pockets and found a small pouch with small gold discs in it, and started negotiating with the seller.

They had just gotten to an agreement, and Neosano had just paid for the painting, when a voice spoke up behind the two "You two, turn around.".

The two companions turned around to see a pair of young men dressed in white, standing behind them, holding a badge out at them in their right hand "Whoa, I didn't know that art critics needed badges to identify themselves.".

"We're not art critics…" One of the men said, who was wearing a strange bracelet on his right wrist "We are the Anti-cliché and Mary Sue elimination society; we are arresting you on suspicion of fandom manipulation. Now, are you going to follow us, or do we have to get rough?" The man held up, what looked like a pair of silver bracelets.

"And please say you'll follow us; I'm a bit tired today." The other man said, he was wearing a weird ornamental belt.

The doctor and troll looked at each other, both raising an eyebrow. Ashlin then looked at the two men and asked "What are you guys talking about?"

Now it was the two men's turn to look at each other, and the man with the belt asked "You haven't heard of us?"

"Never before in our lives." Ashlin said, folding her arms over her chest.

Neosano was thinking about what the man with the bracelet had said, and it finally dawned to him "Eureka!" He yelled.

"What's up Doc?" Ashlin asked, interested in what her companion had found out.

"I've just figured out what is going on here. Ashlin, we are in a dimension, consisting of two worlds, the normal planet Earth, and a world where games, movies and literature in all its forms come to life, and where authors can either enter themselves, or send in their own constructs…" Neosano said, clapping his hands out of pure giddiness "And some of these constructs and authors has banded together and formed some sort of police force to take down unfriendly elements in the fictional world, oh my god it's so awesome."

"Yes, that is very awesome." Ashlin said, a brief smile coming to her lips, before she became serious again and asked "But what do you suggest that we do about our current situation."

"Oh right." Neosano turned to the two agents and said "I think an introduction is in order, I'm Dr. Neosano, or as I'm known in my home dimension, Dr. Felix Nielsen; and this is my companion, the beautiful Ashlin of Jutland…" He gestured to the troll, who smiled and bowed her head to greet the agents, before he continued "And we are dimensional travelers; now, may I ask who you are?"

The two men looked at each other of a moment, before they turned around and started whispering, apparently they were deciding what to do about the situation; after a minute or so of whispering, they turned around and the man with the bracelet said "My name is Joe Andersen."

"And I'm Pete Jackson." The man with the belt said; there was a moment of silence, before Pete asked "So, if you're not here cause trouble, what are you here to do?"

"We're just here to travel a bit, maybe pick up a few souvenirs, and then jump on to the next dimension, that's all." Neosano said, putting the pouch back in his pocket, as he had been distracted by the agents that he first now remembered that he was holding it.

Pete and Joe looked at each other for a moment, making a silent decision on what to do about the situation. Joe then looked at the duo while Pete started to walk away, pulling something out of his pocket "Just remember, if you try to change anything in this world, no matter how good an idea it seems to be, we'll come and arrest you." Joe said, making sure that the duo understood that he was serious about his threat.

Neosano nodded; he knew from his exploits of the multiverse that you often had to follow certain rules, or else you could end up in prison, or worse, dead "We understand, don't we Ashlin?" He asked his companion.

"Of course, this is your world after all." Ashlin said and gave the agent a small nod along with a small smile.

"Good then, have a nice trip through our universe." Joe said and shook hands with the doctor and the troll, before hurrying to Pete's side, listening to him finishing off his live report to the observation room.

"Yes I'm serious, they were actual dimensional travelers." Pete said into his communicator.

"Are they gonna be a problem for us?" The voice of Michael asked at the other end.

"They said that they were here to do some sightseeing around the multiverse, and they haven't done anything so far to corrupt the fandom in any way, so I think we should leave them alone for now, but if they do something that corrupts a fandom, we'll prohibit them and bring them in for questioning."

"Okay, I just hope it's the right decision on your part, it wouldn't be good if it turned out that they were out to take over a fandom, and you could have stopped them before they did any damage."

"I wouldn't worry about it, they seemed pretty friendly, and all they've done so far is buying a picture as a souvenir, and that's it, and if all goes well, that'll be all we hear from them."

"Okay then, over and out." Michael said and got off the channel.

"Over and out." Pete said and put the communicator back in his pocket. He turned to Joe and said "Well, let's go find our actual problems." Joe nodded and the two continued their walk through the city.

O-O-O

"You know, I've just remembered something." Joe said as they passed the 'Rosa in fiore' brothel on their way to the Vatican.

"And that is?" Pete asked.

"It's been more than 2 years since we were created." Joe said and smiled.

Pete thought it over and realized that his friend was right "Yeah, you're right, but a lot has happened after we were created." He said with the same smile as Joe.

"Yeah, me disappearing into the multiverse, the whole Anus Weedy affair, and you getting together with Charis." Joes smile became a bit smugger at the last statement.

Pete shaked his head, he had known for some time that most, if not all, of the Society knew about his and Charis' relationship, but luckily, no one had found out about how far the relationship had progressed. He chuckled briefly and asked "Where did you hear it from?".

"All around the library, but nobody seems to know how far the two of you are, relationship wise." Joe said as he sat down on a bench, Pete doing the same.

"Good, that's how we want it for the moment, but would you mind if we spoke Danish for the rest of this conversation? Just in case they're listening in on our conversation in the observation room." Pete asked and looked up slightly as a small army of guards started to pass them.

"Selvfølgelig ikke, det her er jo rimelig personligt for dig."* Joe said and as the guards passed them, the two got up and started tailing them, their guts telling them that they might find Devlina if they did. (*Of course not, it is pretty personal for you.)

"Tak; nåh, hvad var det du ville vide?"* Pete asked. One of the guards looked back at them and they stopped, and blended into the crowd by sitting down on another bench to avoid an unnecessary fight. After a moment, the guard turned back and the two agents got back up and continued their tailing of the guards. (*Thanks; well, what was it you wanted to know.)

"Jeg ville gerne vide hvor I egentlig er i jeres forhold.".* (*I wanted to know how far you actually are in your relationship.)

Pete looked a little uncomfortable at the request and said "Det, det kan jeg ikke fortælle dig Joe.".* (*I, I can't tell you that Joe.)

"Årh kom nu, hvor langt er I, går I i seng med hinanden eller hvad."* Joe asked, giving his friend a pleading look. (*Oh come on, how far are you guys, are you sleeping with each other or what.)

Pete's gaze fell to the ground and he said "Joe, jeg, jeg er ked af det, men jeg har lovet Charis at holde kæft om det indtil vi begge føler os klar til at fortælle de andre om det. Men, jeg kan fortælle dig at jeg personligt føler mig klar til at tage vores forhold et skridt længere."*. (*Joe, I, I'm sorry, but I've promised Charis that I'd shut up about it until we both feel ready to tell the others about it. But, I can tell you that I personally feel ready to take our relationship a step further.)

"Kunne det tænkes at det skridt involverer en ring af en art?"* Joe asked with a grin on his face. (*Could it be that said step involved a ring of some kind?)

Pete blushed a tiny bit, before he sighed and said "Ja det gør, men hvis du siger det til nogen, så slår jeg dig ihjel, forstået." (Yes it does, but if you tell anyone, I'm gonna kill you, got it.)

"Klart og tydeligt."* Joe said with a friendly smile, which soon turned wicked as he turned his attention to the guard and asked "Ready to raise hell?". (*loud and clear.)

"Always." Pete said with an equally wicked grin as the guards came to a stop and started fanning out in front of the bridge that lead to the Vatican.

"What do you think is going to happen here?" Joe asked as he watched more people gathering behind the guards, who were whispering excitedly amongst each other.

Pete looked around and suddenly spotted a woman dressed a lot like he and Joe were; he let his gaze drift to the roofs and spotted other people in similar clothing. He tapped Joe on the shoulder, and he looked in the same direction as Pete "My guess would be that it has something to do with Ezio, and possibly the piece of Eden."

Joe nodded and looked back in the direction of the Vatican as the mumbling of the gathered people became louder; down the bridge came Devlina, dressed in a long, flowing, purple dress with lots of golden markings on it, and on her head was beautiful headdress made out of gold with a purple veil which was decorated with pearls, all of which looked amazingly gorgeous on her. Alongside her walked what looked like a little girl, probably the second Sue, as she looked impossibly cute and was dressed similar to Devlina, only her dress and veil was red and her headdress was adorned with rubies; she had big, blue eyes that looked as innocent as a puppy, and her hair was a beautiful platinum blonde. Behind them was a group of fourteen shadowy beings, who were probably the missing ideas that Pete and Joes author had been talking about. They dressed in renaissance clothing, both female and male; they were walking obediently after the two sues in two neat lines. And finally at the back were a squad of ten guards surrounding Ezio Auditore da Firenze, who was still dressed in his assassins gear, though without any of his weapons, and he was I chains "I don't like where this is going." Joe said as the procession came to a stop in front of the bridge, the ideas stepping to the side, making room for the guards to step behind Devlina and the little girl Sue.

The two agents suddenly heard a low beeping noise coming from their personas; Joe reached into his item pouch and Pete into one of the pocket like pouches on his belt, and pulled out the silver sphere they had received from their author; it stopped beeping as soon as their fingers touched them. They pulled the spheres out and they opened up, revealing a blue lens. They looked through the spheres like they were small binoculars and the assumed ideas lit up with a blue outline, confirming their suspicion. Pete and Joe replaced the spheres and went back to see how things went with Ezio and the Sue "You think Devlina has the piece of Eden?" He asked to his former statement.

"I sure as hell hope she doesn't, but with our luck, she probably has it…" Joe said, flexing his fingers in eagerness to fight the hated Sue once again "But we could hope that she has left it in the citadel.".

"By all that is holy, let's hope so, because I have no intention of dying today." Pete agreed.

Devlina stepped forward and spread her arms out to silence the crowd, which by now consisted of half the people in the area, probably even some from other areas of the city; the crowd immediately went silent and she started speaking in a very dramatic tone of voice, along with a stereotypical Italian accent "People of Roma, after months of searching, I have finally and personally captured the most dangerous man in all of Italy, Ezio Auditore…" She gestured to the chained up man behind her. She turned back to the crowd and continued even more dramatically "Who has been sentenced to death by crucifixion by our high lord himself.".

"That really doesn't sound good, if Ezio dies, Desmond will die and then the series ends right then and there." Joe said, rolling up his sleeve so he could easily get to the biosuit.

"Yeah, and I think now is a good time to interfere." Pete said as he and Joe made their way through the crowd; they punched the guards that was blocking their way and stepped out onto the small square.

"Assasino, how dare you show yourself here?" Devlina yelled in a perfect hysterical tone and drew a pair of small swords that she had mounted to her lower back. Pete and Joe didn't say anything but kept walking until they were right in front of her; they smiled under their hoods when they heard what sounded like an eagle and several of the guards fell limply to the ground; behind them stood the assassin recruits with blades, axes and hidden blades drawn, the crowd behind them fleeing out of fear that they would get the same treatment as the guards.

"Guess you haven't been here very long since the brotherhood is still willing to go against you." Joe said and he and Pete pulled down their hoods.

"You." Devlina said, her voice dripping venom; she turned to the guards who were holding Ezio and said "Two of you stay with the prisoner, everyone else, kill the assassins." The guards did as they were told and went to try and kill the assassins. She turned to the little girl and said "Anna, take 2 of the ideas and get rid of the blond one, I'll personally take care of the other one.".

Anna nodded and waved 2 of the male ideas over and they advanced on Pete, drawing swords and guns as they did so "You are dead now agent." Anna said and lashed out with her small swords as she talked.

"We'll see about that. Henshin, darkness." Pete said as he dodged the little Sues attack, the buckle on his belt opened and released the nanobots inside it, and soon after, he was in his upgraded Darkhopper suit; he unsheathed the swords on his back and blocked the 2 ideas follow-up attack. He kicked them away, and went back into defense as Anna jumped over the ideas, and lashed out at him; he caught her swords and for a short time they were locked in a battle for dominance, which Anna held up in very well "So, is Anna all there is to your name?" Pete asked, wanting to probe pint sized Sue for information, and gave a hard push, which made the little Sue jump back, but he didn't get any time to rest, as the ideas came at him right after the Sue was out of his reach.

"Of course there is." Anna said snobbishly and grinned as she went in for another attack "My full name is Anna Hannah Maria Conda the 69th." She said, emphasizing every word with a slash. Pete was lucky that the swords were bade to cut humans and not something stronger, because the slashes just bounced off his armor, leaving a trail of sparks in their wake, but otherwise he wasn't hurt.

Pete kicked the legs out from under one of the ideas and impaled it through the stomach, nailing it to the ground; it moaned and thrashed around for a moment, before its arms fell to its side, the only indication that it was still alive was the constant flexing of its gloved fingers. Pete turned and the other idea caught him square in the face with a very hard punch which managed to send him flying, and landing a few meters away, making him drop his sword as he did so. Anna jumped on top of Pete, attempting to stab him through the 'eyes' of his helmet; panicking, Pete lifted his right arm and blocked the blades "So your name would essentially be Anna Conda?" He asked, actually fighting to keep the mini Sue from stabbing him.

"Yes, and?" Anna asked in an irritated tone.

Pete then started to laugh hysterically, both at the fact that Anna wasn't very tall, and at the sexual undertones associated with the name. Pete's outbreak of laughter confused the Sue long enough for him to push her off him, hard. He retrieved his sword and started a one on one fight with the idea.

While this was happening, Joe was in combat with Devlina; Joe using his biosuit and force lightning and Devlina her swords and her divine light. At some point, Joe blocked both of Devlina's swords and tried to force her back, but the Sue was still quite a bit stronger than him, but she held back a little to make some conversation with her enemy "You've learned some new tricks since we last met.".

"Well, you have to, to defeat guys like you." Joe said and dropped to the ground, performing a sweeping kick, that sent her crashing to the ground; he quickly got up and reshaped his claws into shields, and started punching at the Sue, but due to her Sueish luck, she avoided every single punch he threw at her, and when she got up, she didn't have anything resembling a scratch, and her dress didn't have a speck of dust on it.

"But you're still no match for me." Devlina said smirked at the agent who slowly retracted the claws into his suit.

Joe moved closer to the docks while concentrating his force powers into the water, slowly creating a sphere out of it. As he did this, he noticed that two of the assassin recruits had broken through the guards and was heading towards their leader "I think you're about to lose what you have been working so hard to accomplish." He said as he lifted the water sphere up.

"What?" Devlina asked and looked in the direction that Joe had, to see the two guards who were holding Ezio being cut down by the recruits, who immediately started freeing their leader.

The distraction was just what Joe needed. He hurled the water at the Sue, releasing it and thus leaving a trail all the way to the Sue, the last of it splashing against her dress and pooling around her "Gotcha." Joe said and smiled evilly.

Devlina turned back as soon as she felt the water on her; it had been cold, but otherwise there had been nothing special about the attack "What are you trying to do, give me a cold?" She asked mockingly.

"No, I'm trying to make you dance." Joe said before quickly sliding his claws out and sticking them into the water; he released his force lightning into the water in an attempt to electrocute the purple clad Sue. The novices finally freed their leader, and helped him across the small square; Ezio was amazed at the two novices that had shown abilities that only the apple of Eden could surpass.

Devlina screamed as she was zapped by the powerful lightning, and in pure Sueish reflex she released an orb of her divine light, which happened to fly directly at Joe. The blast hit him right in the chest and made him stumble back and fall into the harbor. Devlina turned to Anna, who had gotten up and was fighting Pete, who was having a hard time holding up against her and the idea "Anna, let the idea take care of him, we're leaving!" Devlina yelled to the little Sue.

"Why? We're winning." Anna yelled back as she lashed out at Pete, making him dodge, right into a bullet from the idea's gun.

"They know where we are, and if we defeat these 2 they'll send more to take care of us; it's better if we run now and find another place to take over, rather than staying here and get caught." Devlina said and started running towards the citadel, the remaining ideas following her obediently.

Anna huffed and looked at Pete, who was occupied by the idea, and against her wanting to fight Pete some more, she sheathed her swords and started running after Devlina. She stopped briefly at the bridge, turned back to Pete and said in her cutest possible voice "Goodbye mister agent, hope you die in horrible agony." She then took off after the older Sue and her posse of ideas.

"What a horrible child." Pete said, he gave the idea a punch with his armored arm, before tackling the idea to the ground; the idea punched him hard a couple of times in the side, before Pete had enough and head-butted the idea in the head, stunning it long enough for him to get up and nailing it to the ground with his other sword, its reaction the same as with the other idea, a long moan and a few moments of thrashing, followed by it laying still and flexing its fingers.

"I hate that Sue." Joe said as he hauled himself up over the edge of the dock; once up, he deactivated the biosuit and walked over to Pete and asked "Is it dead?".

"I don't think so; they seem to go into some kind of hibernation when they get seriously injured." Pete said as he studied the idea.

"Well, I guess we better send it back to our author." Joe said and pulled the silver sphere out of his pocket and pressed the lens to the idea's forehead. The idea reached up and pulled the sword out of its stomach before standing up, its clothes peeling off to reveal a white leather jacket, white jeans, a dark red T-shirt with a faded band logo on it, a pair of fingerless gloves and a pair of red and black shoes; the idea walked over to the bridge and a plothole opened for it to walk through, which it quickly did, the hole closing behind it. They did the same with the other idea and the same thing happened, the only difference being that that idea was wearing a grey trench coat, a black beanie, torn blue jeans, a black T-shirt and black shoes.

Once the idea had disappeared, Joe gave a sigh of relief and said "Well, we better get back so the Society can send in a cleaning crew and get this place back to normal."

"Agreed." Pete said, they drew their plothole generators to get back to the library.

O-O-O

After writing their reports and delivered them to Michael, Pete and Joe went their separate ways. Joe went to the kitchen to whip up a meal for them to eat for their 'creation day' party, while Pete went off to their authors mind world to get a gift for Joe. Two hours later, the two was sitting in Pete's room, eating a curry dish with garlic bread on the side, and making small talk. After they were done eating, Joe brought in a nice, heavy chocolate cake, along with some vanilla ice-cream; they cut some cake and scooped some ice-cream up on their plates, but before they even thought about eating the dessert, they both got out the gifts they had for each other as they had agreed to exchange their gifts before they ate their dessert.

Joe opened his gift and was very pleased to find a copy of 'The troll hunter' on Blu-ray under the paper "Thanks Pete, I've been looking for this for a long time." He said as he opened the case to take a look at the disk.

"Well, I guess I was just lucky that I found it in that store then." Pete said as he opened his own gift, which contained a small blaster from the 'Star wars' fandom "Nice." He said and held it up and aimed it around the room, keeping his finger off the trigger so he wouldn't accidentally destroy something in the room.

"I know how you and Himuro like little gadgets, so I thought that was a fitting present." Joe said and put the Blu-ray down beside his, before clapping his hands together once and said "Well, let's get some cake.".

"Indeed." Pete said and put the blaster down on the table and the two dug into the cake.

After they were done with the cake, they said goodbye to each other; Joe was just about to leave the room, but turned in the doorway and asked "So, can we maybe expect a third person to join us next year?"

"Maybe, maybe not." Pete said with a grin on his face, his voice not letting Joe know if he meant yes or no.

"You really won't tell me much about this, will you?" Joe asked and sighed in defeat.

"Nope. Besides, as I said, I promised Charis that I wouldn't, even if you are my best friend." Pete said as he walked over to a shelf, where the hidden blade he had been wearing was sitting, along with Himuro's battle gadgets.

"Well, I guess it can't be helped, see ya tomorrow." Joe said and closed the door behind him.

"Yeah, we'll do that." Pete said, more to himself than Joe. He set the small blaster down on the shelf, before walking over to one of his bookcases, where he pulled out a large, old looking book; he opened it to reveal that the book was hollow, a small jewelry box laying inside. He took the box out and closed the book, putting it back and went over to his couch to sit down.

He opened the box to reveal two small rings of the kind that you usually wear on your pinkie, one a little thicker than the other; they were made out of platinum and at the top, they seemed to split in two and cross over under the small, round ruby that was set in the middle of both rings, and then come together again on the other side. He had brought the rings because of something Charis had told him a few weeks ago; they had been having lunch at a café, and Charis had told him about that in Japan, many people believe that people who are destined to be married, has a red string attached to their pinkies by the gods to signify that they would be together at some point; and when he later that week had seen the rings in a shop, he had decided to buy them, as they reminded him of what Charis had told him, and he had wanted to ask Charis if she'd want to be his fiancé some time before that. However, after he had bought the rings, he had been nervous about asking her, but the conversation he had had with Joe in Assassin's creed had given him the courage to ask her back, and while he had been in town for Joe's gift, he had thought out a plan and now all he had to do was to set it in motion.

He looked at the rings one last time, before he closed the box and said to himself "I sure hope she'll say yes."

Insert Unexpected Frienemy Here (part 2 of 2)

Adrian paced across the floor of the Monitor Room as Ben fiddled furiously with one of the computers' settings. Nearby, Tash leaned against the wall, nearly bouncing with impatience, while Cristoph bore his usual mask of impassivity as he glanced at the iPhone still in his hands for what had to be the hundredth time.

"If we can't communicate with them, why did she ask for orders?" the ninja asked.

"Not 'orders'," Adrian said tightly, "Order. It's the name of one of Runoa's Sovereigns, and her right-hand man at that." He scowled. "Dammit, if their whole group got flattened once, then what chance does-"

His worried muttering was interrupted by Ben slamming his hands down in frustration and shoving himself away from the desk. "It's no use guys. I've been messing with this thing ever since the mission feed cut out, but it just does not want to cooperate..."

"Where are the techies when you need them?" Adrian muttered. "I must have paged Charis, like, twenty minutes ago."

At that, Ben snickered slightly. "Ah, Adrian..." he said awkwardly, "It's Friday. You're not gonna get ahold of her on a Friday night."

Adrian turned toward the agent and tilted his head. "What are you talking about?"

"She... uh... She likes to meet with Pete on Friday nights around this time. To, uh... you know... hang out together."

Tash made a sound halfway between a growl of frustration and a groan. "I'll go get her, you big babies, and I don't care if they're shacked up when I get there. We've got work to do."

-o-

The clearing had broken out into chaos.

Jasmine flitted through the treetops, dropping down to the earth to deliver tiny but critical jabs in the largest of the creatures, only to leap back upward to safety as the branches practically bent protectively to enshroud her. The trees of the Hills were secretive, but they also evil when they saw it, and did their best to aid the ones who opposed such unnatural, otherworldly beings as the creatures the gray-haired man from before had summoned.

She did not deny the rush of satisfaction that each jab against them brought her. Though the monsters were not Grey Guards, they reminded her of them enough that she could summon up her old rage against them when she fought.

This is for my mother! she thought viciously, ripping her dagger out of a Usurped's eye socket with a spray of something purpleish that might have been blood.

This is for my father! Though Jasmine knew now that her father was alive, everything the man had gone through in the elapsing time - losing his family, his home, his very identity - was surely something for his daughter to avenge, even now. Jasmine landed lightly on the back of an enormous Usurped, drove her knife into the tough hide of its back at what she hoped was its spine, and darted away.

This is for my sist- She stopped, briefly wide-eyed before scowling. Thinking of the illusion that was her "sister" Faith was a habit that was easy to fall into, and harder to get out of than it should have been for the length of time she had even been aware of the deception. Still, the painful memory fueled the fire in Jasmine's heart. A giant humanoid Usurped came crashing down as its Achilles tendon was cut, crushing its brethren beneath it.

But then it got back up again. And so did another, and another.

"There seems to be no end to these creatures," she heard Barda huff as he wrenched himself out of the grip of a Usurped that appeared to be nothing but a pair of enormously muscled arms. "How can we defeat them if they refuse to stay down?"

Jasmine glanced at the four women nearby who were also defending themselves from the hoard, though only two of them seemed to have any experience in fighting, and one of them, the tallest one with the wavey yellow hair, was not fighting at all, only desperately avoiding more damage. Monika leaped out of the way as one of the Usurped's axe-like arms sank deep into the tree behind her, and Jasmine cringed as she heard the tree scream in pain.

"You!" the wild girl shouted, heading towards the Society group. "Tell me what is going on! You said you could help us, but that man and his creatures came here looking for you and your friends! What have you brought upon us? What-"

"Jasmine!" She halted as she felt Lief's hand close around hers. She turned. "Jasmine, we cannot waste time arguing," said the young king. "We must work together if we are to make it out of this."

Behind them, Barda slashed at a great, lumbering Usurped, which staggered away momentarily before returning for more. Suddenly, the creature was thrown skyward by a blast of light emenating from Ezra's palm, but when it landed, scorched and smoldering, it was still moving.

Jasmine scowled at Lief. He was right, and she knew it, and she was almost angry with him for that. Almost. "Fine," she said sharply, though not as venomously as before. "What do you suggest?"

-o-

Under any other circumstances, Valerie might have been thrilled to ride aboard something as closely resembling a dragon as the giant Usurped that Order had summoned. As it was, from her position of being slung face-down over the neck of the creature like a bag of grain, the panoramic landscape of the whole of Deltora below her was more terrifying than awe-inspiring, and so very, very far down...

They flew west, into the rapidly setting sun, and though she refused to close her eyes against the stinging wind, Valerie clung to the Usurped with all her might.

-o-

One of the creatures raised an arm that was long and sharp as a sword, and Barda instinctively stepped in front of Lief, wondering what the hell that reckless boy had gotten him into this time and half-heartedly cursing the fact that he loved the young king like a brother. He blocked the blow successfully, but even Barda was forced to stagger under the thing's sheer weight, and he wondered how long they could keep this up.

Jasmine, Lief, and two of the strangers - the taller of the two blondes, and the one with unnaturally red-colored hair - conversed rapidly, while Barda and the other two strangers did their best to keep the hoard from coming too close. Half of the words the strangers used were completely unfamiliar to Barda, and as a guard, he had to be at least familiar with all common vernaculars spoken in Deltora.

"They'll definitely know something's wrong by now," Danielle was saying. "I'm not sure exactly where my iPhone landed, but it was somewhere in the Library, so it's really only a matter of time before a leader finds out why the Deltora fandom is locked."

"Doesn't change the fact that it's locked though," Monika replied grimly. "Even if they know something's wrong, there's no way anyone could get to us. I wouldn't anticipate a rescue."

Ari hissed angrily from her new position perched on a low-hanging branch, and it wasn't difficult to tell why. She had probably been trying frantically to teleport to the Library, and was furious with herself for not being able to, and for being similarly unable to rush to Valerie's aid herself. With Order's threat hanging over their heads, all anyone could do was hope she would be alright until some sort of plan could be made...

Lief frowned. "I am not sure that I understand, but are you saying you are trapped here?"

"Pretty much," said Danielle.

Jasmine looked at Monika. It was really more of a glare than a look, but only because glaring was the wild girl's default expression when Lief wasn't present. Lief was present, as it happened (and Monika smiled internally when she realized he was even holding her hand), but it was sort of a crisis, so the force of Jasmine's glare was only somewhat softened.

"You told me when we first met that you and your group had come here to stop a dangerous enemy to Deltora," said Jasmine. "Is this what you came to stop?"

Monika blinked briefly in surprise, but quickly understood. Of course they don't remember Camillia. Why would they?

"Yes," Ezra answered from where she was grappling in midair with a smallish winged Usurped, causing both girls to turn their heads. Ezra managed to free herself and throw the creature downward, but, predictably, it rose right up again. "Normally, though, our targets are not so numerous, nor so stubbornly determined to never stay the fuck down!"

Danielle gripped her staff tightly. "I'm going to go help," she said.

Monika nodded in reply. "Be careful." To Jasmine and Lief, the blonde said, "Normally we would have a lot of back-up to deal with even one of these creatures, but we did not expect to encounter Order when we came here. We're not equipped to handle this..."

"Order," Lief said. "That is the man from before who summoned the monsters and kidnapped your friend. And, if I understand you correctly, he is also somehow preventing you from calling for help from others like you?"

"That is right."

"Then can you not somehow stop him instead of wasting energy fighting his minions?"

Monika shook her head and tried to suppress the shudder that ran through her. Judging by Lief's face, she was not terribly successful at it. "We tried stop him once before, and it did not go well... Valerie looked after each of us personally, but we were still in the Med Ward for days..." She ran a hand through her hair and left it there, fighting the panic welling in her chest. "I mean... maybe if Ezra and Terrie were both at the absolute top of their game, we might be able to chase him out, but we didn't come prepared for this! We have nothing on us except what's standard protocol for a much less dangerous opponent! Valerie... Valerie might be at least able to defend herself if she had the motivation... oh god I hope she has the motivation, please don't let her be dead by now..."

Lief thought for a long moment. "...What if you were able to reach help?" he finally said. "Would we stand more of a chance then?

"Kree could send a message," Jasmine offered.

It took a moment for Monika to gather her thoughts enough to remember that Kree was the name of the blackbird that was never very far from Jasmine. The blonde agent shook her head. "Kree could not reach my allies. They are... too far away. They can only be reached by... a special device," she explained haltingly.

This got Barda's attention from his fight several yards away from them. With a grunt of effort, he knocked the Usurped backwards and slammed his blade home. The creature continued twitching, but didn't get up, and Barda took the opportunity to focus on the plan-making. "What sort of device?" he asked breathlessly.

"It it not something you have the means to repair..." Monika began.

"No," the guard interrupted irritably, "I mean did you have it on your person the whole time? Did Order never touch it?"

"Well, no-"

"That suggests he used some sort of magic to interfere with it, does it not?"

Lief's eyes widened as he realized what his friend had figured out. "And that means that if Order's concentration was interrupted, even for a moment..."

"We might be able to break through." Monika furrowed her brows in thought. She wasn't sure if natural Gary-Stu abilities, even freakishly enhanced abilities like those of a Sovereign, counted as "magic" of any sort, but it was possible. Valerie had called it ontological inertia, which was the tendency stuff had to continue being stuff. But this rule almost never applied to anything magical or in any way supernatural, energy being as volatile and fickle as it was. But... Suergy counted as a type of energy, didn't it? It certainly wouldn't have such a ridiculous portmanteau, otherwise...

Well then that means... But no, Danielle got that last message through before it closed off, so they'll be ready, trying to hack through... Yes, this could work!

Except...

"She won't do it," Monika realized. The others looked at her questioningly, so she elaborated, "Valerie. She won't attack Order, not even to save herself. Even with Seiryu, she can't bring herself to seriously harm another. She is literally not capable of it, even if it means her death. The only way she can even come close to hurting someone is in defense of someone else, not herself."

Lief and Jasmine both looked surprised at this news, though the latter also made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a choke. Barda, however, looked thoughtful.

"Then... perhaps we should give her someone to protect," he said softly.

"...What about the Usurped?" Monika replied after a very, very long pause, during which a variety of emotions had flitted across her face, too rapidly to interpret. "Order would not have left them here if he wanted interruptions."

Barda gestured briefly. "Look around. There are dozens of them, but only a few of them at a time actively attack us. If the rest of us are enough of a distraction, one person may be able to slip away..."

Monika looked between the three characters, and her three friends defending them. Of course, Barda was perfectly correct. The phenomenon of Conservation Of Ninjutsu was actually pretty common, if Aster's ramblings bashing the realistic merit of the few shounen anime series she had seen was any indication. Not to mention that Usurped were powered by the same terrible storytelling as Sues and Stus anyway, so the fact that it was happening now did make sense. Monika just never once in her life thought she'd ever be in a situation where it would apply.

It bolstered her hopes, frankly. If they could pull on that law of fiction, they might just have a chance.

"Right," she said quickly. "I'll go. I'll be able to reach Valerie fastest, and I'm useless to you here."

Barda looked the blonde up and down, and saw that she was very tall, but quite lanky, and without a lot of muscle definition. Add that to the fact that she was only armed with the lightweight bow strapped to her back, and he was inclined to agree with the girl's self-assessment. "Very well," he said, "but move swiftly. Even if these creatures were ordinary humans, I would not like the odds we face."

Monika nodded tersely. Barda gave her directions on the quickest route, and she turned on her heel and fled southward, towards the Great Road West.

A familiar tightness filled Lief's heart as he watched her go, although that probably had more to do with the fact that he could also feel Barda's stern gaze shift to him, as though daring Lief to volunteer to leave the fight as well. Of course, it was anyone's guess which direction was safer for him - dozens upon dozens of of inhumanly strong creatures that were monsters in appearance on one side, and one unimaginably powerful man that was a monster in spirit on the other - but that was not even close the the point of Lief's indecision.

As predicted, a handful of Usurped noticed the blonde's passing, and began lumbering after her. Jasmine aimed a ferocious smile at Lief as she expertly spun her dagger in one hand and jumped into the creature's path, green eyes flashing and her long, tangled raven hair flying about her face as she moved.

One thing, at least, was eternally certain: Lief would not ever leave Jasmine's side.

"This is hardly the time for daydreaming, Lief!" Barda growled as he blocked another hit. "Move!"

The young king blinked, then raised his sword and did as he was told, an idea forming in his mind.

The dragons were not at his beck and call, he knew. He was no more their king than he was king of the Granous, or the Capricons. The seven dragons allied themselves with him out of mutual respect—respect for Lief and for Doran's last wishes—and because Lief was the bearer of the great gems that connected them to their territory and gave them strength. They did as he asked when it was in their best interest, and in the best interest of the land, and nothing more...

But he had to try.

Help them, please! he cried with his mind, clutching the Belt tightly. These creatures intend to destroy everything, and if we cannot stop them here, they will march on the world and lay waste to whatever is in their path! These strangers came here to stop them, but they cannot do it alone. Please, if you are near, give them your aid. Help them fight what threatens us...

Under Lief's desperate fingers, the diamond seemed to grow a little brighter...

-o-

The journey took less than twenty minutes at the breakneck speed of flight, though it seemed to Valerie both like it took hours, and that it ended all too soon. Rather than land, the winged Usurped hovered in midair, rising up and down with each wingbeat to keep airborne. Order shoved Valerie off the creature's shoulders to the ground, and the healer landed in a heap, jolting her spine in a manner that left her winded and wincing in pain.

Order looked down at her in disdain before leaping gracefully to the ground several feet away from her. "With your friends you fight poorly; without them you fight not at all." He dismissed the Usurped with a wave of his hand, and with a great gust of wind from its mighty wings, it took off into the distance, back towards the Os-Mine Hills. "Rise, healer of the Society," said the Sovereign, "for this is where we will fight. As you can see, I have chosen a location that will give you the advantage, in an attempt to even the odds a little bit."

Still fighting to draw breath, and becoming increasingly aware of the cramps that had developed in her arms and back during their flight, Valerie attempted to look around. When she realized where they were, her eyes widened in near-panic. She now understood why the giant winged Usurped had not landed.

Save for the trails and patches of pale green grass that dotted the landscape, the field they were in was comprised primarily of brilliant, emerald-green leaves as broad as palm branches, dotted here and there with tiny purple blossoms. Valerie and Order were each standing in one of the grass areas - Valerie on a path that led in two directions before forking at the northern end, and Order on a roughly spherical patch about five feet in diameter. Valerie's hand was actually resting on the edge of one of the leaves nearest the grass path, and when she realized this, she yanked her hand back with a barely-suppressed shriek. The leaf twitched in reaction, but otherwise did not move.

A gripper field. He took me to a goddamn gripper field! Gripper, she knew, was the colloquial name for a carnivorous weed that bred like a plague all across Deltora's southwest, covetting deep earth and ruining good farmland. Stepping on their broad green leaves triggered the plant to open the deep, gaping "throat" that the leaves concealed, which was lined with hollow, fang-like thorns that shredded the flesh of whatever fell in. Even if you managed to pull your limb free from the tearing, sucking hollow, the thorns injected blood-thinners into the bite... and with gashes and gouges as severe as even a single gripper bite would leave, you'd be unconscious in minutes, and dead within a few hours.

"Why are you doing this?" Valerie asked in a small, terrified voice.

Order scowled. "The very fact that you ask such a ridiculous question is proof that you do not belong. So why are you still here?" The question was punctuated by a swift forward punch at the air, and suddenly the path of grass to Valerie's right was bisected by a deep gouge in the earth. She glanced at the gouge, then at Order.

Just like with Camillia, she thought frantically. How is he doing that?

"You cannot even dodge my warning shots!" Order shouted across the barrier of grippers that divided them. "Are you so incompetent? Or do you simply refuse? Do you want to die?"

Valerie swallowed and said nothing. She couldn't move.

The Sovereign scowled at her. "Death by my hand would be a fitting end for one so foolish. This is something I can accept."

The healer blinked suddenly and frowned. Something he can -

Without another word, Order leapt into the air, spanning the gap between them easily, and Valerie scrambled away to the left in order to barely avoid the smashing kick the Sovereign landed. Without waiting for the dust to settle, Valerie stood up and sprinted down the grass path, making sure to keep the setting sun at her right. South - the road would be south, and she had to get to the road.

Behind her, she could hear Order laughing.

-o-

"The road connecting Tora to Del is your best chance to reach them in time," Barda had told her. "Toran magic speeds travel down that way, keeping the connection between east and west strong."

Monika ran as fast as her legs would carry her. Ari wheeled in the air behind her, flitting through between occasionally to keep up. Monika felt like she was flying herself - the magic of this road was truly something else, allowing her to cover hours and hours of travel in a matter of minutes - but there was no time to enjoy it. Even with something of a plan in place, she couldn't help but feel like she was running to her doom, images from their last big fight at the Eizenburn Mansion running through her mind. Order terrified her - he hit where it hurt and didn't stop, almost as though he liked seeing his victms beg. But he had taken Valerie, and no one else was available, so what choice did she have?

Suddenly, Ari appeared, wings flared, right in front of her, and Monika wheeled her arms in an attempt to not fall crashing over as she skidded to a stop. She looked around, observing the trees lining the road and what looked like an enormous field beyond them, but little else. "Is this the place?" she whispered to Ari. "Is this where they went?"

Rather than answer, the little dragon glided silently through the narrow tree barrier and landed on one of the trunks on the far side. Monika followed as quietly as she could and searched her eyes over the direction Ari indicated, squinting against the uncomfortable angle of the sun.

There was a small tremor in the ground that made her jump slightly, accompanied by a spray of dirt and a brief scream in a familiar voice. And only a few seconds later, she could see a figure with long brown hair pelting down the hillside directly towards her. She didn't look hurt - yet.

They were right, Monika thought triumphantly. We're only a few minutes behind them!

In the distance, coming up just behind Valerie, another figure that could only be Order chased after the healer - at a much more leisurely pace, though it could be called "chasing" nonetheless. And Monika realized again that she had no idea what she could possibly do to help that wouldn't be considered "interfering".

"Well... now what?" she said, more to herself than anyone.

To her surprise, someone answered.

"Now you sit tight and let me do what I do best."

Monika looked up at the sound of the voice. Perched  in a fork of the very same tree she sheltered behind was a boy, perhaps in his early twenties, with a silky mop of light brown hair, lavender eyes that sort of looked pinkish if she tilted her head right, and a pair of slim blades strapped across his back.

"Who are you?" the blonde asked with a frown.

Zero grinned down at her. "I'm the guy who's gonna save the day with a dramatic rescue of the distressing damsel. And ain't that just the biggest cliche you've ever heard of?"

-o-


Valerie nearly tripped as her mind was suddenly bombarded with images.

Wha-? Ari-

Do whatever you can to make his concentration slip! It might unlock the fandom so we could get help.

The healer blinked in surprise. How do you figure he's causing it mentally?

Wild guess, but it's the best we have.

Valerie stopped running briefly and chanced a glance backward. Order looked as though he were walking, not running, but the speed at which he was apparently travelling disagreed. The overall effect was actually quite eerie, and the healer did her best to keep her breathing steady.

But what about-

There others will be fine for now. Conservation Of Ninjutsu is in effect.

Oh thank god!

Steeling herself, Valerie took a few deep breaths, then whipped around and released four arrows in succession. At this distance, and oweing partially to the trembling of her hands, only one of the shots made contact, but Order didn't even try to bat it away. The bolt fizzled away on contact, doing no damage at all.

Shit! Now what?

"Well now," she heard Order say snidely. "Finally willing to fight me, are you?"

The goal is to surprise him, Ari said. So do something surprising!

Like what?!

Valerie scoured the area for something, anything she could use. But there were nothing but carniverous plants in every direction, and the treeline was still a good distance away. Even if she could get there before Order caught up with her - and she had no doubt in her mind that Order could catch her any time he wanted - what refuge would it offer? None.

For a split second, she felt a tickle of moving air at the back of her neck, and something very deep and instinctual screamed at her to move!, so she did, just in time to hear a faint sonic boom pass mere inches away from her right shoulder. She stared at the gash in the earth that Order's attack created, the grippers in its path sliced nearly in half and leaking clear fluid, but still straining upward, searching for food...

Without thinking, Valerie spun around and fired twice. The first energy arrow, Order batted away with ease. The second landed at the Sovereign's feet, leaving a much bigger hole that he nearly stumbled into, but caught himself and leapt lightly over it onto the next patch of pale grass.

"This irritates me," Order said as he dusted off a shoulder, and Valerie wondered if she was actually somehow getting to him before he continued, "At the mansion, your arrows at least stung a bit. Now it is as though they are nothing but a breeze."

Valerie gulped, but as the Sovereign was no longer moving towards her, she lifted her arms again and readied another arrow. Seiryu worked by using her own body as a conduit for the ambient emotional energies she naturally absorbed. Order, as uptight as he was, barely felt emotions at all, and the stray hints of superiority or annoyance he did let off did not make for powerful arrows. With little other choice, Valerie shut her eyes, this time concentrating with all her might on gathering every stray emotion within range.

Her eyes opened wide as she came across something familiar.

Wait a minute, what-?

A flurry of energy shots landed on Order and exploded on contact in a bright violet light, and they didn't come from Valerie's bow.

The healer's jaw hung loose for a moment. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Hey guys!" came a cheerful voice. "Sorry I'm late. Traffic was a nightmare."

Zero sauntered in - really, sauntered was the only word for it, with his hips canted and a smirk playing about the corners of his mouth - and hefted one blade onto his shoulder. "But seriously, a party like this, with some of my absolute faaaavorite people in the world-" (Order twitched.) "-and nobody thought to invite me?"

Valerie groaned, caught between relief and an intense urge to bang her head against the nearest wall. "Oh my god, can you be any more of a cliche??"

The clone grinned and bowed slightly. "Tis my job, miss! Not that we all haven't indulged ourselves at some point or another. Speaking of which, please don't say 'I had it under control'. I always hate it when the rescue-ee says that." It seemed he was being deliberately catty. Order's red-faced expression was bordering on apoplectic.

Valerie rolled her eyes. "Do I look like a liar to you?"

"Point. Whoa look out!" Another invisible blade of destruction had surged toward the empath out of Order's outstretched fist; Zero had picked Valerie up and pulled her out of the way just in time.

"What did I say about interference, you little traitor!" Order screeched, drawing his fist back for another attack, this time aimed at Zero himself. Zero scowled briefly and closed the distance between himself and the Sovereign in the blink of an eye.

"Hey now," he said with a fierce smirk as he knocked Order's knife of air aside, "Clearly you know I was watching, so don't pretend like I didn't hear you. You clearly said 'If any of you Society folk interferes'." Zero held out his arms in a look-at-me gesture. "Do I look like Society folk to you?"

"You are clearly no ally of mine!" Order snarled.

"You don't have allies," Zero said evenly. "Just superiors and subordinates. Forgive me if I don't want to be either."

"Then you are my enemy!" Order charged forward, feinting with one fist and hooking with the other, followed by a low, sweeping kick. Zero dodged all three motions easily, avoiding the last one with an honestly quite impressive leap, springboarding off of Order's shoulder and landing gracefully behind him.

"God, those were obvious," he commented lazily. "Has it occurred to you that you might be more flexible if you took that enormous stick out of your ass?"

"You bastard delinquent!" He charged again, faster this time, and Zero once again dodged or parried every blow, though with slightly more effort, it seemed, and he was pushed backward once again. "I will take pleasure in destroying you!"

"Yes, because that gets you off. Or do you need orders from mommy to do that, too?" The twin rapier hilts on Zero's back were suddenly (already?) in his hands, their ends lighting up in a silent hum of violet energy edged with yellow as the ethereal blades sprang to life at his command.

The battle that ensued moved faster than the eye could perceive at times. This time it was Order who closed the distance between then, opening with a variety of punches and kicks that Zero either avoided or met with his swords. Zero took every opportunity to slash and stab, using spins and circular motions to give his blows more force - the back of which Order did not hesitate to exploit. Zero only just noticed the attack on his unguarded back in time, turning the motion into a ducking roll instead and scrambling out of the way and following up with a short-range energy blast from the tip of his weapon, which sent Order skidding a short distance away, just to the very edge of the grass patch.

Valerie, who had long-since perfected the art of invisibly ninja-ing away from practically anything and was doing just that, head low to the ground and completely unnoticed, risked a glance badkward. As she turned, a silver glint caught the corner of her eye, high in the air. When she looked again, there was only blue sky, slowly darkening as the sun went lower and lower.

The beginnings of realization hit her, but Valerie shook her head clear before her tumultous questions delayed her further, and ran for the road.

Ahead, she could just make out Monika's ashen face, frantically beckoning her through the trees.

Behind, a ferocious streak of silver flame bolted down from the clouds.

-o-

Charis was working frantically at her station. Phoenixia, who had since wandered in from a mission, was helping her.

The monitor blipped, a tiny break from the regular pattern of static. Phoenixia looked up.

"Did you see that?"

Charis looked up as well. "See what?"

It blipped again. Twice. "There!" Phoenixia pointed.

In tense silence, they watched. Once. Twice. Four times. Then twice again.

"You think there's a pattern?" Charis asked.

"Maybe. If we can predict just the right moment to hammer it at its weak point..."

-o-

Zero didn't consider himself to be an expert fighter, exactly. The moves just sort of came to him, especially when he had someone on-hand to impress. Just part of being a Stu, he supposed, but any idiot could see it was a useful trait. Especially when Order was in one of his hissy fits.

"DAMN YOU!" the Sovereign shouted again as he lunged forward to punch at the empty air where Zero's head used to be. Zero didn't bother responding, but didn't stop to roll his eyes either. That one actually came rather close.

The blast of sparkling silver flame came out of nowhere and disentigrated the ground beneath their feet. Both combatants leapt reflexively into the air, away from one another and into the vibrant green leaves of the gripper plants. Zero's eyes widened as he saw the carnivorous plants approaching from below and fired half a dozen energy blasts from the tip of his sword to sear the ground mere seconds before he landed. It was not enough to kill the grippers, but it did blast the earth about a foot deep, where their "stems" narrowed considerably and he could walk on the spaces between them in relative safety. Nevertheless, the sight of the scorched ground peppered in dozens of round red "throats" that were actively writhing in pain at the loss of their upper halves was not a reassuring sight.

Order lacked Zero's quick reflexes and landed just on the edge of the grass patch, but not quite close enough. His feet were both planted solidly, but his right arm, which he had put down out of habit for balance, had plunged up to the elbow into the maw of a gripper, which immediately set about sucking the limb down further and chewing the flesh to ribbons. A sheen of sweat appeared on Order's forehead as the pain hit, and with a shakey grunt he yanked the limb free. It was not a pretty sight.

Even worse was the glare he aimed at Valerie, already an acre away, just passing through the treeline onto the road with Ari on her shoulder and Monika at her side.

A deafening screech hit them, and for a moment Zero was sure the scream came from Order, judging by the look on his face alone. But the Sovereign too looked up for the source of the sound, and gaped in genuine surprise when he saw a blinding faceted silver-white shape dive out of the sun's glare, jaws blazing.

"Forta..." Valerie whispered in awe.

The dragon of the diamond was only the size of a large horse, scarcely out of its infancy, but it was a dragon all the same, and Deltoran dragons were very protective of their land from those they deemed hostile invaders.

Zero grinned evilly, and got the hell out of the way.

-o-

Forta screamed its fury. Glittering white flames scorched the ground clear of grass and grippers alike, and only a swift kick and a slicing gust saved Order from the same fate. The residual heat came off the razed earth in waves, and for the first time, the Sovereign looked afraid.

The dragon wheeled around in the sky and turned for another pass, this time much lower. Again the blinding fire poured out of Forta's maw, blackening the earth and creating veritable shockwaves of blasting heat that even the agents could feel pushing against their backs as they ran. Again Order just barely managed to shield himself, breathless and sweating bullets from the exertion and blood loss.

"Cowardly beast," Order murmered venomously as he struggled to remain upright. "Disrespecting the rules of engagement..."

Forta turned again and pumped its wings to take it well into the sky, directly above the Sovereign. It's juvenile wings shaded the already darkened battlefield.

"Come down here before I make you-" Order hissed up at it.

The dragon dived.

The Sovereign moved.

Forta was disturbingly silent as it hit the scorched earth and didn't get up again.

Instead, it was Valerie who cried out piteously as she, too, stumbled and fell, overloaded by the striking down of a fellow dragon.

-o-

Monika moved to catch her friend, struggling under her weight and looking backward in increasing panic at Order flashstepping their way, the trail of blood from his arm giving away his next position. The Adrian-lookalike from before barrelled into the Sovereign's side out of nowhere and rolled away before he could retaliate, though not quite quick enough. With a snarl, Order executed a strange series of sharp movements, and the cutting air from his left fist slammed Zero from behind, driving him right into his blood-soaked right fist.

Zero's eyes bulged as the blow connected, and as he rolled away, curled around his soft midsection, Monika couldn't tell if the blood on his clothes was Order's or his own. Then the Sovereign turned on them.

Ari shrieked a challenge, small wings flared. Monika held Valerie tightly, swallowed her terror, and pushed.

Order stumbled as the empathic barrage hit his mind, amplifying his pain and feeding him Monika's fear. Teeth bared, he closed the gap between them. Ari was suddenly the size of a bear, but he smacked her away just as easily as the much larger diamond dragon.

And then he was lifting Valerie up by the throat with murder in his eyes.

Monika screamed -

(stained-glass windows crashing)

(fangs dripping)

(bodies littering the cold marble floor)

Order's grip on her throat relaxed as his eyes went wide in reflexive panic, and Valerie greedily sucked in air. Monika winced at the exertion, but pressed on.

Again. 

(people watch in horror as those nearest to the windows are disembowled, slaughtered, even eaten. they try to get out of the building by any means necessary - making a mad dash for the doors, slicing themselves on broken glass in an attempt to climb out through the windows, trampling those too slow to get out of their way and leaving them to the slaughter in their place)

The Sovereign made a choked sound and gripped his head with his bloodied palm, doubling over -

Again!

(one of the creatures leaps toward a girl, someone i know from school, though only by face. she doesn't even have time to scream, though i swear she attempts it through what remains of her windpipe after it tears out her throat. the monster's jaw unhinges like a snake, grotesquely wide, impossibly wide, and it begins to feast. blood sprays as it does, proof that her heart still beat, and i know that, for just a moment, she was still alive as pieces of her vanished down its maw)

Valerie slipped out of his fingers into a pile of limp limbs on the ground, and a hoarse yell escaped his throat -

Once more...!

(the screams of those i love echo around me, and i am outside, valerie pulling me by the hand into a vehicle. we are taken away, and they give chase. terrie screams as something lands hard on the roof, and the surrounding forest is set ablaze. the thick, viscous shadow in the driver's seat remains, and for once i stare into it as hard as i can. pain, pain, the shadow pushes back, snarls, cuts the wheel hard to the right, we flip, and -)

Those black eyes rolled back in his head as, for a fraction of a fraction of a second, Order blacked out.

-o-

"There it is! Now!"

-o-

Order snarled as he whipped around and immediately spotted a head of flaxen hair as its owner tumbled to the ground - still conscious, but barely, and bearing a look of abject terror in her glazed-over eyes. Valerie choked out her friend's name and tasted blood. Zero scrabbled to get his legs back under him. Ari flashed between both girls rapidly, trying anything to get them to move, to retreat. None was fast enough to intercept what happened next...

The Sovereign readied a fist and pointed it at the healer. "That's it! She dies!"

...save one.

"Librarian Art 6 - Shield of Silence!"

All sound rushed out of the world as Order's blow connected only with solid air, the shockwave creating a perfect semicircular outline of the shield. At its forefront stood Adrian the Librarian; the Library's computers had hacked their way back into the fandom at last, and he had flashstepped to their location just in time.

Other agents quickly followed suit, standing between Order and his targets. Rhia tapped the edge of a frying pan at least 18 inches across into one hand threateningly. Cristoph was just behind her, ninjato raised, while Michael mimicked his stance with his own broadsword, shadows pooling eagerly at his feet. Ben stood wide and loose, fingers itching to point nuclear winter at something. Tash alighted at Adrian's side, flaming wings of the phoenix spread, Nephethys held loosely in her hand.

"Are we done here?" she asked, quiet and casual and dangerous.

Order considered as he met her gaze, though she seemed to wobble sickeningly in his blurring vision. His head throbbed in time with his arm which, he realized, had been spraying blood all over the landscape and continued to relentlessly pump it out of his body with each passing moment. Weakness from the blood loss was catching up with him, and it was beginning to show. As though summoned by the realization, one of Order's knees buckled without warning; he held himself upright, but only barely.

Tash nodded. "I think we're done," she said, and lifted Nephethys high. "Jurai-ken-"

Order was gone, plotholed away, before the strike hit.

-o-

The diamond dragon, it turned out, had razed more of the ground than suspected, and the number of plants it actually landed on were few. Those grippers that remained found the beast far too broad and tough to properly bite into. Forta bled a great deal whilst unconscious, but was not seriously hurt, and flew away without much difficulty once it realized the evil in its land was gone.

Valerie simply lay down for a long time, eyes closed, putting her mind and emotions back in order and trying not to cry from relief.

Adrian leaned down to offer her a hand. "Well done," he said as he pulled her shakily upright.

Valerie closed her eyes. Praise was the last thing she deserved. "It was Monika," she said hoarsely, rubbing her bruised throat. "She's the one who took him down."

"What?" came a shaky voice. The blonde in question had awakened, and shaking just a bit in obvious relief. "All I did was get here in time, and then..." She trailed off, eyes unfocused, before snapping upright again. "But you're safe, right? We won?"

Valerie and Adrian exchanged a glance, and the healer sagged against his shoulder. "Just..." she said finally, "You deserve the credit for this one. It couldn't have happened without you."

Michael opened up a plothole. "We'd better get to the others and finish the cleanup," he said.

One by one, the leaders and agents stepped through. As Valerie was about to follow suit, she remembered something, and glanced around hurriedly.

But of course, Zero was already gone.

-o-

Enough agents were dispatched through the newly opened plotholes to dispatch the remaining Usurped in the Os-Mine Hills, though not without considerable difficulty. It took three Scene Transitions, a Plot Device, and a blast from the Canon Cannon to get rid of most of them.

The dragon of the topaz had handily eaten the rest.

Camillia Anastasia Jessica Zara Chipatatwe'e Jenkins-Walnut was found - still in three pieces - and placed in a body bag for transport out of the fandom.

"Who is that?" Lief asked, eying the parody sue with a curious expression.

It took a long while before the healer answered. "Just someone who got caught in the crossfire of someone else's war," she answered finally. To Adrian, she added in a soft voice, "Someone should contact Camillia's author and tell him what happened."

The Librarian nodded. "I'll see what I can do."

Valerie nodded, looking away, then turned back around. "Oh! Lief, before I go, I wanted to ask you something. Marilen is your heir because she is your nearest relative on your father's side, right?"

"Yes," the king replied. It was common knowledge, after all.

"Okay. But did you ever consider the full implications of the Tale of the Masked Ones, from Josef's book?" Lief tilted his head, so Valerie continued, "If Bede is decended from Ballum, as Josef suspected, and Ballum was the brother of Adin's great-great-grandson, then would that not make Bede your nearest cousin instead of Marilen?"

The positively dumbstruck look on the king's face told the healer that he had not considered that at all. Valerie couldn't help but snicker as she opened a plothole.

"Just something to think about," she said with a grin, and stepped through.

-o-

Back at the Library, Monika was practically bent double laughing. "Is that really true?" she asked between breaths.

Valerie chuckled. "It might be that Lief's choice of an heir is taken into account. Goodness knows Bede would make a terrible king, even if he isn't a prissy ladykiller anymore. But it was never even addressed in canon, and I just wanted to bring it up. It would've been bizarre if Lief had died in the underworld in series two, and the Belt never shone for Marilen no matter how long she wore it." The healer stretched upward and yawned. "But he has kids in the end, so it's all moot point now, I guess."

Terrie rolled her eyes with a smile. "You think about things waaaay too much, Val," she said, and stepped out of the monitor room, probably off to her own rooms to take a nap. One by one, the others followed, until only Valerie and Monika were left in the room.

"So..." Monika said after a long pause. "You gonna tell me who that guy was?"

Valerie bit her lip. "...No," she said softly.

Monika nodded. "Okay then. I get it."

Valerie closed her eyes tightly. "Please understand, Mon, it's not a matter of-"

The blonde took her friend's shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile. "No, seriously, it's alright if you don't want to. He helped us, and that should be good enough."

"I will tell you someday," said the empath firmly. "I promise."

Monika smiled. "I know."

-o-

Some time later...

"You're sure about this?" Adrian asked soberly. "You don't know if he'll come after you again. He caused a big enough mess here; maybe Runoa'll rein him in. Hell, maybe he'll go back to hunting Silri for a while. That's possible, isn't it?"

Valerie did not smile. "The nature of chaos is multiple things happening at once," she said. "Order... isn't capable of that."

The Librarian regarded her with a critical eye. "Good to know you appreciate the gravity of what you're asking," he quipped, with an expression Valerie supposed was meant to be forbidding. She did her best anyway to pretend she didn't know exactly what he was feeling and why. "So I'm going to be equally serious when I say: I don't need my best healer putting herself in the line of fire. That is not a tactically sound choice to make."

"I sort of think I don't really have a choice this time," Valerie said, without expression.

"No," he agreed softly. "You don't."