Insert Blatant Shakespear Ripoff Here

Tyler was perched above a pedestal, upon which was a large portion of chocolate. He had decided to find something to eat, and not being in the mood to eat a coat he had found in a sorry state in the Operation! fandom, he had gone for Adrian's chocolate. Unfortunately for him, his communicator chose this time to beep. At first thinking he had set off a trap, Tyler's heart shot to his throat, sending a sting of pain through him. He fell off his perch, but his fall was quickly broken by a net, which entangled him, then pinned him to the ceiling.

"Ow…"

After several seconds of struggling and twisting, Tyler managed to free his head and arm, then turned to the communicator. Tash's face appeared on it.

"I swear, I am going to kill Viva whatever-her-name-is."

Tash frowned. "May I ask why?"

Tyler pointed at his heart. "She has denied me chocolate. Twice."

"So?"

"So I like chocolate. Now, why the call?"

"Faya's been spotted in the RomeoxJuliet fandom."

"You mean that anime knockoff of Romeo and Juliet?"

"Correct. Now, are you going or not?"

"I'm a little… er… tied up."

-

Several minutes later…..

Tyler collected his Society gadgets, and was about to leave, when he realized something.

"Considering my injuries from that weird manga don't seem to have disappeared completely, I should probably avoid overexertion. Hmm…." A lightbulb suddenly appeared over Tyler's head. He grabbed a briefcase out of his desk which bore a label reading "For Emergencies (or for anything, really)," and emptied the contents into a pouch around his waist. Tyler then opened a portal, and entered the fandom.

-

In the fandom of RomeoxJuliet, everything was going right. Just three days ago, a mysterious girl had appeared in the floating city of Neo Verona. Everyone had immediately accepted her as the new ruler, without even letting her speak. She had not wanted to take power, claiming that her tragicly tragic past of tragical tragicness had taught her never to be trusted with power, but after only a tiny amount of persuasion, she accepted the post of queen. Under her rule, Neo Verona prospered, but although everyone was happy, under the darkest corner of their mind, something continually gnawed at them. Then Tyler appeared in the fandom.

In a deserted square of Neo Verona, a Plothole opened and Tyler fell out. He quickly got to his feet, preparing for an attack of some sort. Nothing came.

"Odd. Usually Faya's around wherever I show up." Tyler looked around.

"Which means I'll need to go to her…"

-

Deep in Neo Verona….

Faya sat on her throne, almost ecstatic. She had found the easiest fandom in the multiverse to conquer. All the main characters were dead, and her Sue powers filled in the rest. Everyone now believed she was the ruler and always had been. And best of all, the Society hadn't found her y-

"Your Majesty, one of the guards sighted a strange boy in the city. He carries a small paddle-like object."

"Damn it."

Tyler strolled through Neo Verona, trying to maintain the appearance of a child sent on an errand. He had had the foresight to bring a large piece of cloth to wrap around himself, which made sure no one noticed his chosen attire of tie-dye and shorts. It also had the effect of shielding him from the cold of being in a city located among the clouds. Suddenly, three guards appeared out of nowhere.

"Halt! You're under arrest!"

Tyler didn't bother with any theatrics. He just took out a small blob from the pouch at his waist, and tossed it at the guards.

"Huh? What's this?"

"Silly Putty. Why?"

"What's Silly Putty?"

"It's a priceless substance worth millions of pounds of gold an ounce. You can now quit your jobs as guards."

"Cool!" The guard walked off with their "treasure," leaving Tyler to continue toward Faya's palace.

Faya looked into a crystal scrying glass, completely ignoring the fact that such an item would not exist in her current fandom.

"How did that little brat trick my guards into quitting?"

Suddenly, in a puff of smoke, a small, shadowy figure appeared on the arm of her throne.

"I believe that he convinced them that this 'Silly Putty' was a priceless substance, Mistress."

"I know what he did, Quakakawazakaskee!"

"Yes, Mistress."

"Now, Quak, I have a question."

"Yes, Mistress?"

"Why do you exist? This fandom doesn't have fiends."

"It doesn't have scrying glasses either, Mistress."

Faya sighed. "Noted. Mobilize the entire army. I want him dead."

"It will be done, Mistress."

Tyler was proceeding toward the largest and most ornate building, which he assumed was Faya's palace. He had already defeated several more squadrons of guards, mostly by giving them more Silly Putty. He had no idea how this trick worked, but he eventually decided that Faya had made them stupid to fulfill a cliché. Finally, he was at the courtyard. He was about to enter when his path was blocked by a pair of guards.

"Halt! Nobody enters this palace!"

Tyler frowned.

"But… I have an invitation!"

"No you don't. This party is for guards and the queen only."

"Will you let me across if I fight you and win?"

The guard scoffed.

"Only if you kill us both."

"Oh… okay, but before I beat you to a bloody pulp and toss your corpse off Neo Verona, I'm gonna need you to sign this waiver."

The guard looked puzzled.

"Why?"

"Well, if you die, then one of your surviving family members might care. Then they might try to sue me. And if they sue me, then I have to go to court and explain how I had to kill you because you were in my way, and I needed to get you out of my way, so…."

"Okay, okay, I'll sign your waiver!"

"Thank you. Here's the waiver, and here's a pen."

The guard bent down to sign. After reading the clause, he clicked open the pen…

...which exploded.

Really, it exploded. The blast slammed both guards into the wall, knocking them unconscious. Tyler smirked.

"See? That's the point of a waiver."

Tyler quickly propelled himself over the gate, landing in an enormous courtyard. He began to stride triumphantly across the courtyard, when he noticed something that caused him to stop mid-step.

"Oh muffins…"

He had just succeeding in entering an enormous courtyard, packed to the brim with guards.

From her scrying glass, Faya watched happily as Tyler realized what he had just walked into. She continued smiling as the guards charged the Society Agent. Her smile slowly began to fade as Tyler blasted her first line of soldiers away with a grenade. It disappeared completely when the Agent grabbed the lance of one of the guards, and fired off another explosive behind it, launching himself forward and knocking out every guard in his path. It dropped into a frown as Tyler vaulted over the head of a guard, propelling himself out of the scrying orb's range.

Tyler landed on the balcony, taking several seconds to regain his breath. He looked up… and immediately blurred into the air to avoid a small squad of guards who had just charged him. Tyler spun the stolen lance around, pushing them off the balcony. They made a loud "Clang!" as they hit the ground, but they got up, if woozily. Tyler blew a loud raspberry at them, and was rewarded by one of the guards hurling a spear at him. Tyler grabbed the spear before it could hit him, eyed it suspiciously, then chomped off the point. He chewed on it contemplatively for a moment, then spat it out. He readied the spear to throw it back down…then spun, slamming the spear into another group of guards, then vaulting them, sending them tumbling off the balcony to join their fellows. This time, the clang was more subdued, but still satisfying. Tyler continued into the palace.

-

Twenty minutes later…

Tyler had made it to the second-to-last floor, but he was now stymied by a trapdoor, of all things. He had tried blasting his way in, but it had done nothing. He had fired a series of energy blasts at the opening, to no avail. Finally, he decided on something. He had been planning to save this for the actual battle, but he needed to get to Faya. Tyler levitated a small pink crayon out of his pouch, then fired it at the trapdoor. Said door was instantly covered with a thin coating of pink. But that was enough. Tyler screamed with rage and leapt upward at the trapdoor, smashing it with a magic-soaked fist. The door shattered into splinters, and Tyler shot up into the top room, immediately firing a magic bolt at…

A Mii?

Granted, this Mii was unusual, with a shock of bright purple hair, red eyes, and blue skin, but it was most definitely a Mii. As Tyler's energy bolt approached it, it moved aside incredibly fast, and the bolt hit the wall of the room, leaving a scorch mark. Tyler was confused.

"Wait, I'm confused. Who are you?"

When the Mii spoke, its voice resembled several thousand bees buzzing at once.

"I am an Uber-Stu, a general in Faya's army."

"Faya has an army?"

"Yes. The Mistress has created an army of Sues and Stus to destroy a force she refers to as The Society."

"Um…."

"I have told you this because I am about to kill you. Neither you nor the information you are now aware of will leave this room alive."

"Thanks!"

"Why are you thanking me? I am about to kill you."

"Because you just told me info. You won't be able to kill me."

"Incorrect. Now die." Uber-Stu drew a pair of blades, each glowing with a hazel light, seemingly out of nowhere and charged at Tyler. Tyler quickly backstepped, avoiding a painful and bloody end by one of Uber-Stu's swords. Uber-Stu snarled and swung again, but Tyler continued dodging, blocking, and taunting.

"Are you sure you're a Stu? I always thought one of the qualifications was fighting ability."

Uber-Sue roared in anger and slashed at Tyler, who dodged, then kicked Uber-Stu in the ankle. The Stu cried out in pain, limping away from Tyler.

"Seriously, is that it? I thought that an Uber-Stu would at least put up a fight."

Then the Stu lunged, slashing at Tyler with both swords. Tyler spun to one side, smacking Uber-Stu in the back of the head with his staff. The Stu stumbled forward, but quickly righted himself in time to block Tyler's next attack. He was about to slash at Tyler's head, but the Agent parried with the other end of his staff, then gave way, letting Uber-Stu skid past him. Tyler whirled around, striking the Stu in the ribs. Uber-Stu yelped, and Tyler took the opportunity to move back and ready a bomb. Uber-Stu was about to charge when a baseball smacked him in the face. He grabbed the baseball, preparing to hurl it back at Tyler, when it exploded, blasting Uber-Stu into a wall.

"Okay, I don't play baseball, but I think that's a walk. You can go to first base." Tyler produced a base from his pouch and tossed it over to the Stu. Too dizzy to think about much else, Uber-Stu stumbled over to it, not noticing Tyler pressing a small button. The base exploded, knocking Uber-Stu to the ground. Tyler grinned widely.

"Okay… that's an out."

Uber-Stu suddenly leapt to his feet, somehow healed. Tyler paled slightly.

"You have a healing factor?"

"Correct. Now, you will die." Uber-Stu lunged with both swords, aiming at Tyler's kidneys, but the Agent stepped around the slashes, getting behind Uber-Stu, then drove his heel into the Stu's Achilles tendon. Uber-Stu screamed in agony, hopping forward, but the injury healed almost instantly, and Tyler fired a series of energy bolts to prevent another lunge.

"Sorry, but there's this thing called 'personal space.' Heard of it? One of the main points is not killing people with pointy sticks."

Uber-Stu yelled a battle cry and charged. Tyler formed an energy shield, blocking the blows.

"Hey, seeing as you're a Stu, I have a question. What's the point of having a glowing sword? All it does is draw attention and center you out as a target."

Uber-Stu instantly stopped pounding on Tyler's shield. He quickly took out a chalkboard and chalk, then began scribbling furiously.

"Okay, so the glow intensity of a weapon is a sign of power, so a more strongly glowing weapon will vibrate, causing more powerful hits. Red represents anger, and is particularly effective against shields, whether magical or physical. Blue is logic, which is highly effective against both red and pink. Green is calm, which is slightly effective against blue and mental attacks, but weak to pink and red. Yellow is happiness, and is effective against almost everything, but is weak to blue. Orange is fear, and has no effect on red or green, but can defeat green and yellow. Purple is lethargy, and has no weaknesses, but no strengths. Pink is passion, and is strong against red or orange, but weak to blue and green. Red-orange is…."

Tyler was taking notes.

Several minutes later….

"Greenish ochre with a touch of rust is…"

"Okay, okay, I get it!"

Uber-Stu paused, surprised.

"Oh, okay then. Die!" Uber-Stu swung his swords at Tyler, pummeling the shield.

"I said… ENOUGH!" Tyler screamed, blasting Uber-Stu off his feet with a burst of magic. The Stu got to his feet, seething.

"Need any help, brother?"

Tyler and Uber-Stu turned. The speaker was another Mii, with the same color scheme, but this one was female.

"I am Uber-Sue, another general in Faya's army."

"Crap."

"I do not understand how expressing the common term for defecation has anything to do with…"

Tyler facepalmed.

"It's a freaking expression!"

"I do not understand how…"

"Shut up! Just shut up!"

"Accepted. You will now die." Uber-Sue pulled out two swords, these ones glowing a pleasant lavender. Tyler pulled a face halfway between revulsion and boredom.

"Please tell me you can fight better than your brother."

"Affirmative. Now, die." Uber-Sue lunged, and Tyler was forced to bring up another shield, knocking her back. This attack was immediately followed up by a jumping slash from Uber-Stu, forming a crack in the shield. Then the Sue and Stu leapt into the air. The entire room was shrouded in a black light.

"Team Combo-Infinite Slashes!"

Uber-Stu slashed the air thousands of times per second, each slash leaving a trail of light. The blades of energy gathered around Uber-Sue, and she connected her blades at the tip. Then the slashes traveled down the glowing blades, which focused them into a beam of pure sword glowyness that fired down at Tyler. The Agent blurred to one side, dodging the beam, but up above, Uber-Sue moved her swords, causing the beam to follow him. Tyler grabbed a small grenade out of his pouch and hurled it at Uber-Sue. The Sue tried to alter the path of the beam, but the explosive hit first. With a loud explosion, amplified by the room, Uber-Sue dropped out of the sky. Uber-Stu let out a cry of rage and swooped down at Tyler.

"I swear, if you've hurt her-,"

"Oh shove it." Tyler grabbed the Stu's arm, swinging him in a circle and hurling him away.

"Despite what you may see, talking is not a free action. It actually takes more time than swinging a sword. Really."

Tyler was about to turn and walk away, but he suddenly stopped dead.

"Oops, can't leave yet! Gotta fire off a parting shot! Because seriously, you two were pathetic! You're both supposed to be Uber, so act like it! C'mon, get a little ability instead of just leaning on your powers! It's really very…" Tyler trailed off. "Oh, right… anyway, bye!" Tyler was about to open a door to another room, when a knife collided with the handle. Tyler turned around.

"Okay, really! That's the oldest cliché ever… or one of them! If you have the accuracy to block my exit by jamming the handle with a knife, why don't you just kill me with it?"

Uber-Stu frowned.

"You have a point… well, I do have another knife, so no harm done."

Tyler paled.

"Oh muffins…" The next knife whizzed toward him, missing him by an inch and embedding itself in the handle, right next to its brother. Another lightbulb appeared over Tyler's head.

"That's it! That throw was blind luck! You were aiming to hit me, weren't you?"

Uber-Stu looked sheepish.

"Well… yes."

"Ah! In that case, I'll give you lessons!" Tyler yanked a knife out of the door and ran over to the Stu.

"Okay, first, you grab the knife by the tip of the blade with your thumb and index…"

"Okay…" Uber-Stu followed Tyler's directions.

"Next, relax your grip on the blade slightly…"

Uber-Stu continued to obey.

"Next, realize I have no idea what I'm talking about…"

"Okay… wait wha-," That was all he could get out before Tyler snatched the knife away.

"And finally, scream in pain as I kill you!" Tyler stabbed at Uber-Stu, but the Stu grabbed the blade, halting the knife.

"Okay, you stay there!" Tyler grabbed a rope out of his pouch, tying it around Uber-Stu's hands. Tyler grabbed a Prohibitor out of his pouch and jammed it onto the Stu.

"Ha!"

Suddenly Uber-Stu let out a scream of pain and glowed white. Cracks of blue energy spiderwebbed across him from the Prohibitor. After Uber-Stu was covered in the cracks, he exploded into tiny pixels of light. Tyler paused.

"Weird… just like a Yugioh card…." Tyler suddenly remembered something. "Aiee!" He blurred to one side as Uber-Sue lunged at him. The Sue was apoplectic.

"You… killed… my… BROTHER!"

"Actually, this was more erasing him from existence. What a horrible waste."

"Yes! It was a horrible waste of Stuish life!"

"Actually, I was talking about my Prohibitor. I only get two a mission."

"Super Awesome Pounding Blast of Elemental Cosmic Destruction!"

Tyler's eyes widened.

"Oh dear Arceus…."

Then Uber-Sue fired an energy blast the size of a tennis ball. Tyler moved slightly to one side, dodging. Uber-Sue charged again, slashing at Tyler's head. Tyler took a step back, then pushed Uber-Sue away with a burst of energy.

"That was lame. Five seconds of preparation and you get that?"

"Well, I needed a name for my attacks…"

"No you didn't. And if you really did, name it "Tennis Blast," or something simple."

"Seriously, are you always this annoying?"

"Yes."

"Die already!" Uber-Sue lunged at Tyler, who blocked with another shield of energy.

Tyler gave a thumbs-up.

"Nice! Almost got me there. Just a little hard… oh carp."

Uber-Sue's blow shattered the shield, sending Tyler stumbling backwards. Uber-Sue was about to lunge when an explosion blasted her into a wall. Uber-Sue leapt to her feet, charging, when a pulse of energy stopped her in her tracks. As she prepared to attack again, a shield sprang up around her. The Sue battered the shield, but it refused to budge. As she watched, Tyler tossed an explosive high into the air. Uber-Sue frowned.

"What was the point of that? All you did was waste-," Suddenly the shield disappeared. Uber-Sue grinned and prepared to strike.

"Die, Agent."

Then the chandelier hit.

With a ear-splitting crash and a piercing scream, the chandelier smashed through the floor, carrying Uber-Sue to a painful end. Several shards of glass flew towards Tyler, but he stopped them with a shield. Tyler smirked, then headed toward the balcony to find Faya's palace. From the balcony, Tyler surveyed Neo Verona. He admired the close-up view of the bright blue sky, of the pure white clouds, of the-

-There! Down there, by the monument! Tyler caught a glimpse of tennis court-red hair, and lime-green eyes, and heard the narrator describing the colors with unnecessary and unconventional adjectives. He was about to blur over when he heard a loud wingbeat. Tyler blurred into the air just in time to avoid the swoop of a Ryuba, a dragon steed. He dropped down onto the back of another, forming a shield to prevent being struck by the Ryuba's whipping tail. He spun his staff quickly, parrying a lance thrust from the Ryuba's rider, then pummeled him with a series of energy pulses. The rider swayed in place, then fell, and the Ryuba swerved, unceremoniously depositing him and Tyler back on the balcony. Tyler blurred into the air, then blurred toward the second rider, knocking him off and sending them both flying toward the window leading into Faya's palace. Tyler kicked the rider to one side, formed a shield around himself, then cannonballed straight through the window, entering Faya's palace in an explosion of glass and light. Before hitting the ground, Tyler blurred again, coming to a stop on the other end of the room, seventy feet away from an astounded Faya. The Sue sputtered for a moment, completely speechless. Tyler gave a mock bow. Faya purpled and lunged, tendrils of energy trailing from her hands. Tyler blurred to one side, dodging.

"Wow, I haven't even talked, and you're already trying to kill me. That's probably a record."

Faya snarled, a deep, guttural sound.

"Oh, by the way, what's with Mr. and Ms. Sue?"

Faya smirked.

"My… pet projects, you might say."

"By which you mean…" Tyler prompted.

"Please. I'm not some Hollywood stereotype villain; I'm not telling you my plans. I'm not telling you about my Sue army."

"And yet you just did."

"Ooh…."

"Great! Can we get to your total humiliation now?"

"Die!" Faya lunged, slashing at Tyler with a huge sword she seemed to pull out of nowhere. Tyler blurred away.

"You have a limited vocabulary, you know that? Just 'Die!' and 'Perish!' Sign of a small mind, they say."

"Hey!" Faya charged again, but Tyler blurred away, and Faya's sword crashed down onto her throne, shattering it.

"Ooh, that looked expensive."

"It was!" Faya wailed. "It cost five thousand dollars!"

"Did you even pay for it?"

"Well… no…"

"Stop complaining. I broke a ruler yesterday. It cost twenty dollars, and I didn't give a damn."

Faya frowned. "Why not?"

"Because I ate it. But that's not the point. The point is that you suck, and I don't."

"I do not suck!"

"Sooo… what you're saying is that you're a broken vacuum cleaner."

"No!" Faya lunged at Tyler, who tossed a smoke bomb, shrouding the palace room in black fog.

"Ahh, mist bombs. So much more ecological," Tyler said calmly. A loud thud emanated from nowhere. "Oh, and you might want to watch out for the sliver. You could trip on it."

When the fog cleared, Tyler was still where he had been when he had thrown the bomb. Faya was getting to her feet from where she had tripped and fallen. Tyler stuck out his tongue.

"Come on, you're a Sue! Stop being so clumsy!"

Faya's eyes widened. "B-but… but…. being clumsy was my author disproving my Suishness."

Tyler facepalmed. "Does it really matter? You're not actually ever clumsy, except once in a blue moon when your author remembers that that's how they described you. And then they go over the top with you tripping over yourself to prove how incredibly clumsy you are. Then, point made, they forget about it and have you performing amazing feats of balance and precision. Then they remember 'Oops! Faya is supposed to be clumsy!" and have another chapter of you being completely useless. Am I correct?"

"Yes…"

"My point. How did your author pick your name anyway?"

"Well, they liked the name 'Faya,' but they also wanted the name 'Wargana.' Then they decided they wanted an initial, because it was cool. They needed a number, because I was in a royal lineage, even though I didn't know it, and one of them accidentally banged their fist on the keyboard when they yelled at their friend for saying that I was a Sue, which, by the way, I totally am not, and then they couldn't bring themselves to delete it. So that's how I got my name."

Tyler's jaw dropped.

"That…is one of the most Suish things I have had the misfortune of hearing in my whole, 6-or-7 month existence."

"No it's not! Anyway, then my authors posted my story, which was totally perfect and had me sacrificing myself for Jeena, but since the authors didn't want me to die, they had the blast still hit Jeena, and then Jeena died so I could be with Rallen, then I brought Jeena back, but she said Rallen was too good for her and let him stay with me. Then the authors got flames that I was a Sue, which were completely wrong, so they quit because the reviewers were mean. They wrote some more of their story for their friends, and I got even more perfect! But then their friends got mean and said I was a Sue, so they quit my story and left me to fester."

Tyler blinked. Then he resumed eating an arm of Faya's throne. A vein pulsed in Faya's forehead.

"That was my backstory you idiot! You're supposed to listen with horror and sympathize with, then forgive, all my past misdeeds!"

"Sorry, but 'Attempting to warp the fabric of a universe,' isn't that forgivable."

"Oh that's it!" Faya held out her sword, which glowed with an unearthly red light. "Any last words?"
Tyler smirked. "Just one..."

Faya's jaw dropped.

"What… the heck… was that?"

Tyler grinned.

"That, as you so eloquently refer to it, is an extremely long name for a molecule found it tobacco. I've always wanted to say it. Also, it apparently kept you from killing me long enough for me to prepare every single explosive I'm carrying in this pouch."

Faya scoffed. "So? You've probably got nothing left."

Tyler made a tsk-tsk sound and wagged his finger. "To the contrary! This is a Bag of Holding, stolen from D&D! It holds several dozen cubic feet of matter." Then Tyler gave the bag a hard shake, and Faya saw exactly how many explosives Tyler had crammed into the bag. She paled.

"Oh-,"

KABOOM

*This scene has been censored due me always wanting to say that. Please enjoy this fuzzy bunny rabbit*

 (\_/)
(='.'=)
 (") (")

*We return to the main production*

When the smoke from the explosion cleared, Faya had been embedded into her throne, despite her being on the wrong end of the blast. Tyler was standing where Faya had stood before the explosion, covered in a shield of light. The Agent stuck out his tongue at the downed Sue. Then he realized something.

"Oh crap. I taunted a opponent, I am so screwed I am so screwed…"

Suddenly a huge explosion of light burst forth from the throne, obliterating it. Tyler was forced to close his eyes. A second later, Faya rose out of the ashes of her throne, encased in a cocoon of rainbow light. Tyler gulped.

"No way we can settle this like civil human beings, is there?"

Faya pretended to think about it. "No. No, not really."

"Muffins."

Faya sent a huge blade of energy flying toward Tyler, who flung up a shield. However, the blast plowed right through Tyler's shield, smashing the Agent into the far wall. Tyler slowly got to his feet, blood dripping from his chest. He sighed theatrically.

"Jeez, Faya… I just… got out… of the hospital. No need to put… me back in."

"Yes. Yes there is. You have chased me through five different universes."

"And you… tried to destroy… five different universes."

"But I'm a Sue, therefore I am to be forgiven."

"No… not really."

"Well, when they don't forgive me, they have to die." Faya levitated into the air, a pink light surrounding her. Below, Tyler's eyes widened.

"Faya… I have three requests."

The Sue scoffed. "You can ask."

"First… stop warping fandoms."

Faya scoffed again. "Not a chance."

"Second… stop trying to kill me."

"Nope."

Then Tyler's eyes narrowed to slits.

"And finally… stop… using… PINK!" Suddenly Tyler rocketed at Faya, propelled by a blast of energy. The Sue didn't even have time to think before Tyler's knee slammed into her face. Then she felt herself zooming back into a wall as Tyler kicked her away. As she smashed into the wall, the pink aura dissipated, and Tyler's eyes returned to normal. Then he realized where he was.

"Oh… muffins…"

Then he fell toward the ground.

Just before impact, Tyler grabbed his Scene Transition and activated it.

Faya watched Tyler slam into the ground as she disentangled herself from the wall. She smirked, but then she noticed something. The Agent was still breathing. Pausing only to scowl at him, she raised her sword, then lunged…

Then, so fast Faya couldn't even register it, a Plothole opened and a flash of black shot from it. Faya felt a horrible pain in her back, and she was flung thirty feet across the hard wooden floor.

-

Tyler snapped awake with a jolt of pain as the memories of the Scene Transition flashed through his head. He pulled himself up into a sitting position, and watched as the black blur materialized only ten feet from the injured Faya. It seemed to be a stick figure, dressed in black, with glowing red eyes. As Tyler watched, it brandished a pair of serrated, almost rusty-looking, swords. Faya stood, drawing her sword impossibly fast and lunging. Tyler was sure that the stick figure would be dead in an instant. But just as Faya's blow landed, it was matched. Both swords had somehow risen in time to block. Tyler raised an eyebrow, then was brought back to reality by a burst of pain that reminded him he was probably about to die. He reached for his Plothole Generator and quickly opened a Plothole, dropping through it.

Faya dodged a series of supernaturally fast strikes, each one leaving a sonic boom in their wake. She quickly parried, then lashed out, knocking her assailant away. The stick figure ground to a halt, then glared at Faya, its eyes full of menace. Faya glared back.

"Who are you, anyway? And why are you trying to kill me?"

When the figure spoke, its voice was like a buzzsaw.

"I am Shade."

"Original."

"Yes. I was ordered by Runoa to kill you."

Faya frowned. "What?"

"She has discovered your army and your plans. You are in her way. You must die." Before Faya could even respond, Shade was behind her, stabbing her through the head. Faya's eyes dimmed, and she crumpled, disintegrating. Shade paused momentarily, then disappeared.

-

In the Library…

Tyler sat up in a hospital bed, trying to figure out what had happened since he had gone through the Plothole. He decided that while he had been unconscious, Faya had escaped again. As far as he knew, there was no evidence to the contrary. Then a door opened and Drake walked in. Tyler waved.

"Hello."

"Hi," Drake replied.

"Faya escaped?" Tyler asked.

Drake made an odd face. "No, actually. That being that called itself Shade killed her." Then Tyler's eyes went wide.

"WHAAAT? I wanted that honor! I swear, when I get out of this sickroom, I'm going to-OW!" Tyler dropped back down as a surge of pain ran through him. "I am going to kill that stick figure."

Drake raised an eyebrow, then left quickly.

-

Somewhere else in the Library…

"Did you bring enough paint?"

"Yes, Miss."

"Good." Camille smirked. "When Tyler gets out of the hospital, he is getting a big surprise…."

Then Doyle looked in the paint cans. "Miss, this is pink paint."

"Yes…"

"Don't you remember the last time you painted Tyler's room pink?"

"Yes, but this time I also have a tranquilizer dart."

"Ah."

-

Somewhere else in the multiverse….

Relyt turned to Ekard. "Is everything going as planned?"

Ekard groaned. "You've asked that five times already! Just because the readers might be watching… but yes."

"Good."

Insert World of Imagination Here

For once, Tyler had succeeded in getting Adrian's cookies and subsequently avoiding the Librarian. He was now moving through the halls of the Library, looking around each corner to check for Adrian. Unfortunately, he neglected to notice one minor detail…

"Arf Arf!"

"Hm?" Tyler turned around and noticed a dog. It wasn't Meg, it was larger, with heavier fur. Tyler guessed it was some kind of wolf. It yipped again. Tyler backed away. The wolf advanced. Tyler backed away. The wolf advanced. Tyler backed away. The wolf advanced. The copy and paste button broke. The fourth wall broke. Adrian got mad.

Aaanyway, back to the story. Both Tyler and the wolf had progressed about ten feet. Tyler slowly reached for his ping-pong paddle. The wolf yipped. Tyler took a bite out of an Oreo, and the wolf ran forward several steps. Tyler jumped back in fright, dropping his Oreo. The wolf was about to eat it when Tyler fired a weak bolt of magic, frying the cookie.

"No! That's bad for you!" The wolf growled slightly, and this time Tyler ran. The wolf chased after him. This continued for some time, the wolf closing in on Tyler, then Tyler blurring ahead. The two passed Marcus, and then…

"DOWN, NOOK!" Tyler spun around to see Emotion Marcus holding the wolf, which seemed to be named Nook, by his neck. Tyler looked more closely. There was a collar around the wolf's neck.

"Wait, is that wolf your dog?"

"H-he's n-n-not a w-wolf, he's a S-s-siberian h-husky."

"AND YES, HE IS OUR DOG!" The two Marcuses combined into one, who was still holding Nook by the collar.

"You shouldn't have run. Dogs will chase you if you run," Marcus admonished.

"And I should know that how? I don't have a dog!"

"Really?"

"Yes. I live in a small house with a lot of breakable objects. Why would I have a dog?"

"True."

"What's that dog doing here?" asked Tash, coming into the hall. Marcus turned to look at her.

"This is Nook. He's my family's dog. I'm taking care of him while my parents are in the Caribbean. They said something about waiting 18 years for this."

Tash frowned. "How old are you again?"

"…"

Tash bent down to pet Nook, who ignored her.

"Nook isn't very affectionate. He doesn't lick anyone."

"Oh. Anyway, Tyler, we found Faya again…"

"What fandom?" Tyler interrupted.

"Sharkboy and Lavagirl."

Tyler blinked.

"Do you know the fandom?"

"Yes, but…"

"Then get going!"

Tyler ran off without another complaint.

Camille was working on something in a syringe when a door opened and Tyler's head poked through. Camille looked up.

"Hi Tyler."

"Hi. Is the new poison ready?"

"Close enough. It's not nearly as powerful as a Prohibitor, but it'll do for a few minutes."

"Good enough." Tyler picked up the syringe and slipped back out the door.

-

In the fandom of Sharkboy and Lavagirl, everything was perfect. Five days ago, an eerily perfect girl and two somewhat less perfect boys had come to the fandom. They corrected everything that was wrong with the imagined world of Drool, even though there wasn't anything wrong. They had even taken over from Max, the original creator of Drool. They now ruled over Drool, as well as the title characters, Sharkboy, a boy raised by sharks, and Lavagirl, the ruler of volcanoes, and imprisoned them in a dungeon. That was when the Society noticed the Suish activity and sent in an Agent.

Tyler dropped out of the sky and landed in a pile of pencil shavings. He stood up and looked around.

"This is one of those times when it stinks not to be a Stu. If I was, I could just know where Faya was."

Suddenly, three things happened.

1. A being stepped out in front of Tyler.

2. Another being stepped out in front of Tyler.

3. I lost my ability to condense.

4. The fourth wall broke.

5. I lost my ability to count.

But I digress. Two beings stepped out in front of Tyler. A closer look revealed they were both Stus. In several seconds, Tyler drew his ping-pong paddle and changed it into a staff. The two Stus circled him, and the second there was a big enough opening between them, Tyler bolted. The two Stus followed, hampered by the occasional energy shockwaves Tyler launched at them. They ran over hill and over dale, over river and through woods, through uncolored section that resembled bad drawings, and finally stopped in front of a stone tower. Tyler jumped at the tower, digging in his staff. The Stus followed by hovering into the air after him. While Tyler was faster, the Stus had the advantage, not needing to worry about support. They drew long swords and flew in at Tyler, who jumped onto his staff, dodging their strikes.

"Will you leave me alone? I'm trying to catch your boss."

"What? You can't catch Faya!"

"Oh, but I can try." Suddenly, Tyler dropped off his staff, then grabbed the edge, using the flexible shaft and bouncing over the Stus' head. The twins backflipped in midair, just in time for Tyler to land on their faces. They groaned and dropped, while Tyler jumped back onto his staff, yanking it out of the rock and firing a blast from the end, launching him upwards. He landed on a large dais. There, standing 20 feet away, was Faya, resplendent with her ping-pong table green eyes and ribbon-red hair. Tyler hated her with every fiber of his being. And a few of the potassiums.

"Faya! What a pleasure seeing you here!" Tyler lied.

"You got here? Looks like my slaves were incompetent as always."

"Jeez, ten minutes with a little power and you're already a jerk? Take your time! Wait, how could I forget? Sues don't take time with anything! They just get it!"

"How dare you insult me?"

"It's not hard. It's really very easy."

"You little-" Faya lunged forwards and punched Tyler in the face. Or tried to. He quickly jumped to one side, evading the blow.

"Awww, are we slowed down by all the royalty?"

"You won't speak to me like that with my slaves around!"

Indeed, the two weaker Stus had flown up behind Tyler. They were now waving their swords in what they obviously considered a terrifying manner.

"You're right. I won't speak to you like I did. Now I have to humiliate you in front of your buddies."

Faya screamed with rage and charged Tyler, who stepped to one side, tripping the Sue. She got up, pure menace in her eyes.

"You… will… DIE!" she screamed.

"You… will… try… to… make… me… DIE!" Tyler screamed just as loudly. The two Stus lunged at him, but Tyler dropped down, and their slashes whizzed over his head. Tyler stuck both feet out, tripping the Stus into Faya. Tyler stood back up.

"Two at once, Faya? You're creepier than I thought."

Faya's eye twitched.

"You… little…"

"Whoa there! Watch the blood pressure!"

Faya purpled and attacked. Tyler stepped to one side and began tapping his foot.

"Aaand, one two three one two three one two three one two three. You know, Faya, you're not much of a dancer. Ever think of taking lessons? You can't really be perfect if you can't even waltz."

"Wha…"

"And another thing," Tyler continued, dodging blows from Faya and her underlings, "work on your queenly manner. It's considered unseemly to have to resort to speech. A mere gesture should do. For example." Tyler provided a gesture. Faya turned an interesting shade of orange.

"You… dare… mock… me? I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

"Ya sh wll! STP MKCNG HR U JRK!"

Tyler turned around to see one of the Stus closing his mouth. Tyler raised an eyebrow.

"You talk in chatspeak? Pardon me, I need to vomit." Tyler turned and vomited… on Faya.

"Oh, sorry. Didn't notice you there." Tyler turned away from Faya and prodded the Stu who had spoken. "Are you sure you have the right voice chip?"

"DER'S NOTTING RONG WID MI VOYCE U JRK!"

Tyler groaned.

"Please be quiet. Your voice is creepy."

"Hay! STP B-ING A MEENEE!"

"Okay, please shut up." Tyler turned away from the chatspeaker… and was met with a punch in the face from Faya. Tyler was knocked off his feet, and nearly fell off the tower, but steadied himself just in time. Another punch blasted him several hundred feet into the distance.

-

Miraculously, Tyler was still conscious. He quickly activated his communicator. Tash's face appeared on the screen.

"What's going on?"

"Faya is incredibly powerful in this fandom! She punched me and sent me halfway around Drool! I need reinforcements!"

"Most of the other Agents are tied down right now, but considering Faya's power level…" A tiny portal opened and a pill dropped out of it into Tyler's palm. Tyler was unimpressed.

"What do I do with this? Hallucinate that Faya isn't there?"

"In this fandom, that might work. But this is a Oneshot."
"A what?"

"It will give you one power from this fandom."

"Here's hoping." Tyler turned off his communicator and swallowed the Oneshot.

"Gluh! Couldn't Tash have sent across some water? Now, let's see what I can do." Tyler checked his arm. "Okay, not Shark…" he pointed at a rock. "Not Lava or Electric, so it must be… oh yes!"

Tyler picked up a small rock.

"Blot out the Memories!" Instantly the rock was covered by a splotch of black ink.

"Hmm… I have the Creativity power... Now, if I remember correctly, I can only use each move once, or it's not creative, so I better not waste any. Now to find Faya. Search Engine!" A large train shot down, picking up Tyler and whisking him off towards Faya.

-

Faya was relaxing on a deck chair in a sunny section of Drool, being fanned by her Stu servants. Suddenly, a train appeared, dropping Tyler in front of her. Faya jumped to her feet.

"Inflated Image!" she yelled, swelling until she was easily ten times her original size. She swung a fist at Tyler, who dove to one side, avoiding the crushing blow. Tyler sprayed blue energy sparks, which swirled around Faya's hands, stinging her. The Sue bellowed in pain, and her underlings charged at Tyler. The Agent grabbed one of them by the collar and swung him into the other, watching as they tumbled to the ground. Tyler turned around just in time to avoid a kick from Faya, grabbing the Sue's foot and running up her leg, jumping on to her head. Faya attempted to swat him, but Tyler dodged, and Faya's hand smacked her head. Tyler flipped up and landed on the hand. Faya let out a screech of pain and pushed Tyler off. Tyler landed and quickly created distance between him and Faya. Then he realized the underling Stus were in front and back, and one was about to attack. Tyler jumped forward and clapped the temples of the one in front, stunning him, then leapt over his head, not even noticing as the Stu was stabbed by the other Stu. Tyler dodged another kick from Faya, and rolled away from the remaining Stu. He then pointed at Faya.

"Ego Deflation!" A sharp pin shot into Faya, who suddenly shrank back to her normal size.

"Idea Bombardment!" retorted the Sue, and a hail of energized words rained down on Tyler.

"Iron Will!" A shield of metal appeared, blocking the ideas.

"Perception Change!" Everything changed. The iron wall turned to jelly, and the ideas turned to rock. Tyler blasted several of them, and dodged the rest.

"Creative Spark!" A burst of yellow energy slammed into Faya.

"Logic Bomb!" The air around Tyler exploded, knocking him to the ground. He got up, and noticed the remaining Stu charging him. He spun.

"Flood of Knowledge!" A wave of energy smashed into the Stu, knocking him out cold. Tyler turned his attention back to Faya. The Sue seemed to be gathering power for something. Tyler decided to stop that.

"Brain Drain!" A pair of tubes burst out of the ground and whipped towards Faya's earholes.

"Incoherence!" The air around Faya swirled, and the tubes collapsed to the ground, limp.

"Piercing Look!" Tyler glared at Faya, and a series of daggers shot at her.

"Impassioned Defense!" A wall of fire blocked and melted the daggers. Faya snarled.

"Time to take it up a notch. Revelation!" An explosion of light burst out of Faya.

"Fog of War!" A thick mist shrouded the two, their hatred given form. Even the light of Revelation was unable to pierce the cloud. Faya attempted to attack with tendrils of pink light, but even they were nullified in the darkness.

Faya growled.

"Fine. It's time for my ultimate power in this fandom. EPIPHANY!" A ray of light shone down on Faya, creating the appearance of molten gold. In a split second, Tyler knew what was about to happen. In that split second, he acted.

"MINDWARP!" For one second, reality itself twisted around Tyler. The next second, it snapped free. A ripple of pure entropy plowed towards Faya, even as the Epiphany reached full power, exploding outward in a storm of deadly light. For that one second, light and chaos slammed into each other, letting off flashes and whips of energy. The Stu, still prone on the ground, was instantly incinerated. The next second, Tyler pulled out a Scene Transition, and disappeared.

-

Tyler woke up on a sandy stretch of beach. He stood up and stretched, as the events of the last few hours came back to him. He had been knocked out by the blast, and sent flying to here, while Faya had gone back to her tower, and begun a universe-wide manhunt for him.

"Just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse..." Tyler thought, readying his staff. Then he heard a noise from behind him. He turned, and saw a fleet of sharks swimming towards him. He was about to fire when he realized something.

"Hey! I'm on land! Those sharks can't hurt me here!" Tyler grinned, but his grin flipped as the fins continued onto the beach.

"So there are land sharks… But I doubt I'll get a candygram from these guys." Tyler jumped over two of the fins, and smacked a third back into the water. The remaining sharks kept at a safe distance. Tyler whirled his staff, sending out a wave of energy. The sharks turned fin and fled back into the sea. Tyler ran in the direction of the tower.

Several hours later…

Tyler arrived at the tower and knocked sharply on the black stone. The noise echoed up the pillar, all the way to where Faya overlooked all of Drool. Aforementioned Sue instantly appeared behind Tyler, aiming a punch at his head. Tyler moved to one side just in time, and Faya's hand made a dent in the stone. The Sue didn't even flinch. She simply drew back her hand and leveled another punch at Tyler, who ducked, and it made another dent. The third punch smashed a hole into the tower, which began to crumble. Faya, as a Sue, didn't have to worry. Tyler, on the other hand, had to dodge the falling rocks, each one easily capable of killing him. Faya darted over and landed a punch that sent him reeling, but he recovered in time to dodge the follow-up, as well as a rock. Tyler knocked Faya off her feet with a leg sweep, then jumped away from what appeared to be the final rock. Faya stood. Tyler wasn't sure, but he thought he saw smoke coming from her ears. The Sue's hair was disheveled, a sign that her current emotion was "bordering on insanity." Tyler instinctively took a step back. Faya was about to charge…when a huge rock slammed down on her. Tyler grinned, but the smile quickly melted off his face as cracks spiderwebbed across the black stone. Then Tyler's jaw dropped as the rock shattered and Faya stepped out from the rubble, completely unharmed. The Sue smirked.

"You thought a rock could defeat me? Not a chance. Nothing will beat me! I… am… UNSTOPPABLE!"

Faya took an appropriate "Awesome Hero" pose, as lightning flashed in the background. Tyler was unimpressed. While Faya was still in her pose, Tyler walked over… and pushed her. The Sue fell on her back with a yelp. Unfortunately, this left Tyler paralyzed with laughter, giving Faya a free shot. She took it with relish, and Tyler was blasted through several rocks. If this had been almost any other fandom, that would have killed him instantly. As it wasn't, he was only dazed. Faya cackled, and tentacles of pink energy drifted from her back. Tyler's eye twitched.

"…pink…." Tyler swung his staff, and a wave of green light knocked Faya off her feet. The Sue instantly recovered, being a Sue, and fired a hail of pink energy bullets. Tyler formed a quick shield, blocking the attack, but then…

Tyler giggled, and the shield responded accordingly. Several holes popped open, and a few of the bullets hit Tyler, knocking him off his feet. Tyler was about to get up, when another round of giggling left him doubled over.

"What's so funny?" Faya demanded.

"Nothing… is… funny…" wheezed Tyler, choking out each word between laughs. Faya grinned evilly and fired three streamers of pink light. Instead of attacking Tyler, though, these tickled him. Tyler's giggles turned to cackles, then guffaws. After about five seconds, he was rolling around with laughter. Faya sent a blast over, but Tyler avoided it with a twitch. Faya growled and stomped the ground, sending spikes shooting into the air, then plummeting towards Tyler. Once again, he spasmed, dodging the deadly spikes. Faya groaned and waved her hand. Suddenly Tyler found that his case of the giggles had disappeared. He stood up.

"Thank you Faya." Tyler bowed deeply. Faya frowned, but prepared to attack. She was about to fire a round of energy blades when the ground exploded under her, flinging her into a rock. The rock was crushed, and Faya stood, still unharmed, if annoyed.

"What was that?"

Tyler smiled.

"I planted an energy bomb when I bowed. Why don't you give up now, Faya? It will save me the trouble of continually humiliating you."

Faya glared at Tyler, who glared back. Suddenly Faya grinned, which scared Tyler much more than the glare had.

"Okay, fine. I give up."

"What the…"

"But you'll have to catch me first!" Faya blasted Tyler away, then turned and ran. Tyler quickly got to his feet and took something out of his pocket, then hurled it at Faya. It struck her in the shoulder, and suddenly Faya stopped dead, dropping to her knees. Tyler walked over to her.

"What… was that?" Faya asked.

"Sedative. It's strong enough to affect even a Sue or Stu, and it dampens their powers for a while. Long enough to put a Prohibitor on you." Tyler did exactly that. As if on cue, a portal opened, and Relyt dropped out of it. Tyler groaned.

"How come you always show up when I'm winning?" Tyler complained.

"It's my job, just like it's your job to ruin the lives of innocent Sues and Stus."

"Oh, like you really care. You just like fighting me."

"It's a bonus."

"Whatever. Just out of curiosity, how do you get the Prohibitors off Faya every time?"

"It's just one way we're superior to you. Our Plothole Generators can remove them."

"Well… that sucks."

"For you."

"Them's fightin' words."

"Then let's fight!" Relyt drew his ping-pong paddle, then pressed a button on it. It instantly changed into a staff. Tyler repeated the action. The two mirror combatants circled each other for a moment, each sizing up the other, then Relyt lunged forward, slashing at Tyler's head. Tyler bent backwards, avoiding the strike.

"Limbo Limbo Limbo! Limbo Limbo Limbo!" Tyler chanted, walking under Relyt's staff. Tyler then dropped to the ground and knocked Relyt's legs from under him. The Protection Society Agent landed on his hands, flipping away from Tyler. Said person launched a missile-like blast of magic at Relyt, who easily knocked it to one side, then returned fire with a spray of sparks. Tyler blocked with an energy shield, then sent the shield flying at Relyt.

"Woah!" Relyt dived to one side and launched a wave of red energy at Tyler, who jumped on to it, digging in his staff. For a second, the wave flickered between multiple colors, then settled on green. Tyler bent his staff, and the wave wheeled around, heading at Relyt with incredible speed. Tyler jumped off the wave, and watched as Relyt pushed against it. Finally, Relyt broke through with a lightning-fast burst of magic that knocked Tyler off his feet. Tyler jumped to his feet, pointing two fingers at the doppelganger and firing a blast of green light. Relyt held out a palm, with the thumb curled in, and fired a blast of red light. The two attacks collided with a huge explosion. Tyler moved as if flipping a coin at Relyt, but instead, a small blue dart shot from his thumb. Just as it was about to hit Relyt, it split into a storm of small comets, which blasted Relyt into a pile of rocks. Tyler smirked triumphantly.

"And that, Relyt, is why you should never play with darts!" Tyler shouted.

"Tyler, I swear, when I get out from under these rocks….!"

"I know, I know, the usual threats."

"How dare you mock me?" There was an explosion in the rocks, and Relyt jumped out from them. His eye was developing a severe twitch. Tyler, on the other hand, was his normal cheerful self.

"You should write a book about that. "Defeated by a Big Pile of Rocks." You could make a lot of money, you know."

Relyt blinked, somehow looking evil the whole while.

"Well? Interested?"

"No." said Relyt flatly.

"Are you suuuurre?" asked Tyler, pushing his face up to Relyt's.

"I'm sure! Now get away from me!" screamed Relyt, blasting Tyler away with an explosion of magic. Tyler rolled to his feet.

"Jeez, you don't have to be so rude about it!"

Relyt's eye twitched.

"You… are driving me CRAZY!" Relyt screeched, sending an enormous blast of magic at Tyler, who pole-vaulted over it.

"Then I'm doing my job," Tyler replied coolly. Relyt snarled, blasting at Tyler with a series of energy bolts. Tyler evaded each and every one of them, as Relyt began to wear out. Finally, the Protection Society Agent started to slow down. Blast frequency changed from 10 per second, to one per second, to one every five seconds, then trailed off. However, the running and dodging had worn out Tyler as well. For several minutes, the two simply glared at each other, exchanging silent insults. Then, once they had recovered a little breath, they exchanged verbal insults. However, said verbal insults were uninteresting, so they will be ignored.

Finally, when they had both recovered most of their energy, they jumped at each other and returned to fighting. A small explosion blew both enemies backwards, but this didn't stop them for long. They both jumped to their feet, staves glowing, Tyler's blue, Relyt's orange. They charged at each other with unbelievable speed, coming closer and closer, the tension building and building…

Until Tyler skidded to one side, tripping Relyt and watching as the doppelganger's momentum carried him face-first into a rock. Relyt slowly peeled himself off the boulder, having been compressed into 2-D. Relyt squeezed himself back into a solid shape, then turned to scowl at Tyler, who wasn't fazed in the slightest. In fact, he had taken a few pictures of the Agent for blackmail purposes. This annoyed Relyt slightly. So, slightly, that instead of brutally murdering Tyler, he simply fired an elephant-sized blast at him. Tyler gulped.

"Oh muffins…"

BOOM!

Tyler went flying, smashing through a series of rocks. As a result of the fandom (and a strong energy shield) Tyler survived this. As a result of the blast, he was knocked unconscious.

Fortunately, Relyt passed out afterwards.

Unfortunately, Ekard then stepped through a portal, ears twitching.

Fortunately, he couldn't tell the two apart.

Unfortunately, Relyt then woke up.

Fortunately, Ekard still didn't know which one had woken up.

Unfortunately, Relyt started to convince him.

Fortunately, Tyler then woke up.

Unfortunately, the first words out of his mouth were "Oh shoot. It's Ekard."

Fortunately, Relyt didn't hear this.

Unfortunately, Ekard did.

The two Protection Society Agents turned towards Tyler, Ekard summoning his armor.

Tyler grinned sheepishly, stepping backwards.

"Errr… nice evil clones?"

Relyt snapped.

"WE… ARE… NOT… CLONES!"

Ekard grabbed Relyt, who looked on the verge of total insanity.

"Don't worry Relyt. We get to kill him."

Tyler quickly opened a Plothole, but suddenly Ekard pulled out a small remote-like device and pressed a button in the front. A bolt of energy shot from the remote and hit Tyler's Plothole. It flickered, then phased out.

"What was that?"

"Our Plothole Nullifier. You can guess the function. Or maybe you can't," Ekard taunted. Relyt snickered in appreciation of the joke. Tyler paled.

"I should run now, right?"

Ekard smirked.

"We'll give you a three second head start. Three…"

Tyler didn't waste any time. He ran for it. The instant Ekard reached one; he and Relyt pursued Tyler into the labyrinth of fallen rocks. Finally, Tyler vaulted over a rock into a clearing, Relyt and Ekard close behind, but when they entered the clearing, he was nowhere to be found. Relyt was about to suggest that the two go back when something whipped across the clearing, knocking him to the ground. Ekard prepared his spear… and another strike sent him reeling. Now the two were prepared. They stood together, back to back. Then another blur slammed into their sides, spinning them in circles. Relyt readied his staff, but the speed of the next strike only gave him time to block. For a subliminal moment, Relyt caught a glimpse of Tyler. Then the image blurred and disappeared back into the rocks. The next attack was directed at Ekard. The red-and-gold-clad Protection Society Agent was caught completely off guard, and the blow sent him stumbling into Relyt. By the time they had gotten up, Tyler had whizzed away. He shot back in, and was about to hit Relyt, when the Agent stuck out a fist, catching Tyler in the gut. Tyler choked, but instead of just collapsing, he spat blood into Relyt's face. Relyt stepped back in disgust, and Tyler landed a series of strikes on him. As Ekard charged, Tyler grabbed Relyt and held him in a choke hold.

"Take another step and your friend gets it!" Tyler snapped.

"You do realize he's not my friend and I really couldn't care less about what happens to him, right?" Ekard shot back.

"Oh, darn, forgot about that," groaned Tyler. "Oh well, better take advantage of the situation." Tyler hurled Relyt into Ekard, knocking them both down, then ran. The two Protection Society Agents scrambled to their feet, opened up Plotholes, and stepped through them.

Tyler was just leaving the space where Faya's tower had fallen, when a Plothole opened up in front of him, and Ekard stepped out of it. Tyler turned to run the other way, but was blocked as Relyt stepped out of a second Plothole. The two were about to attack, then…

"Oh, no you don't!"

Twin blasts of lava shot out of nowhere, knocking Relyt and Ekard to the ground. Tyler looked in the direction of the lavablast, and saw Sharkboy and Lavagirl standing on a nearby rock. In between them was Drake, in his armor. Drake jumped down to join Tyler, along with Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

"Thanks for the save," Tyler said cheerfully.

"No problem. I got here when Ekard did, but I was having trouble finding you. I found Sharkboy and Lavagirl along the way."

The Protection Society Agents eyed the four. Then they grinned.

"Well," they chorused. "it's been fun, but we have to leave. Bye!" They then opened a Plothole and disappeared.

Tyler turned to Drake.

"I think that was dealt with. Come, shall we go?"

"What?"

Tyler grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry, I'm in a play in real life."

"Oh." The two Society Agents opened another Plothole and stepped through it.

-

Tyler and Drake were both at the beginning of a long corridor, leading to a plate of cookies.

"You know, I really owe you for saving my life back in the fandom." Tyler remarked.

"Enough to let me have these cookies?"

"Not even close." And with that, Tyler dashed for the cookies, Drake close behind.

Insert Computerized Universe Here

Tyler was munching on a cookie (his own, he had temporarily given up stealing Adrian's after that boulder…) and waiting for news of Faya, the Sue who had already escaped from him twice, although once with the help of Relyt, Tyler's doppelganger from the Mary-Sue Protection Society. Tyler had just finished his cookie and was creating a strategy to take down Faya when his communicator beeped.

"Tyler, it's Tash. Faya's been spotted in the Code Lyoko fandom, so…"

"On it!"

-

In Lyoko, a computerized world discovered by a group of friends, things were spiraling into control. Faya, the amazing-figured, green-eyed, red-haired Sue had arrived. She quickly made friends with the group, Jeremy, the computer whiz who got everyone into Lyoko, had decided to show Faya the virtual world. This plan was immediately agreed to by Ulrich, the stereotypical "cool kid," and Jeremy immediately sent her in, despite protests from Odd, the joker, and Yumi, another "cool kid," and Ulrich's supposed love interest. Of course, once Faya arrived on the scene, that all went out the window. When Ulrich saw her in her form-fitting outfit which accentuated her natural curves, it was love at first sight. Aelita was kicked out of the fandom because Faya replaced her. And when XANA, the evil entity that existed in Lyoko, attacked with a horde of monsters, Faya simply took out her prismic spear and fried them with a single blast of light. She didn't even break a sweat. For Ulrich, this was the clincher. He swept up Faya and gave her a long, wet, kiss, completely disregarding the fact that he was in a kid's show. After, this, the Society learned of Faya's activities in the fandom, and sent in an agent to correct it. That's what Tyler was doing in the rocky mountain sector, home to the mysterious floating rocks, being attacked by Hornets.

Tyler parried a laser bolt with his staff, dropped to the ground, and rolled under the Hornet that had fired at him. He leapt up, clinging to the back of the Hornet. He immediately was thrown off by the humming wings, landing painfully on the ground. He hopped to his feet, blocking another blast, then slammed his staff into the Hornet's Eye of Xana, the strange symbol where its eyes should be. He jumped back just as the Hornet exploded into spare parts. Tyler looked around for Faya, but saw nothing, only space and a few other floating rocks.

"Well, if there are Hornets, then Xana must have activated a Tower, so that means I should be seeing Faya soon..." Just then Faya, Ulrich, Yumi, and Odd all came running around a corner and streaking towards him. "Speak of the devil..." Tyler held up a hand imperiously.

"Stop in the name of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society!" Nobody stopped, so Tyler waited until they got closer, then tripped them all with magic. Ulrich rolled to his feet first, followed by Odd and Yumi. Faya came up last, so she could go to the back. Tyler watched the three warriors approach, and fired a beam of magic at Ulrich, knocking him back. As Odd came close, Tyler stepped aside and brought down his staff, sending Odd back to Earth in a spray of latticework. Yumi turned, but Tyler had already blasted her out of Lyoko.

"That's weird, they're both good fighters, but I took them out with no trouble. I guess Faya's using them as staff fodder to emphasize how powerful she and Ulrich are."

Tyler was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of Ulrich shouting "Triplicate!" By the time Tyler was paying attention, Ulrich had split into three and was running a triangle around him. Tyler spun his staff around him, sending out an energy wave that destroyed the two fake Ulrichs and sent the real one tumbling away.

Ulrich rolled to his feet, unsheathing his twin katanas, and charged Tyler at lightning speed. Tyler blurred away just as fast, but Ulrich still slashed his side. Tyler grunted in pain, but when he checked his side, there was no wound.

"I guess it's the fandom. If I get too badly hurt I'll devirtualize, but anything else won't do much."

Once again, Tyler was interrupted by Ulrich's attack. This time, Ulrich zoomed in a circle around Tyler, then struck from behind. Tyler spun around, barely blocking Ulrich's first blow, and avoiding his second sword by an inch. Tyler lunged, hoping to take Ulrich off guard, but the swordsman crossed his blades, stopping Tyler's attack cold, then slid to the side, slamming the hilt of one sword into Tyler's gut. Tyler cried out and dropped to his knees, but when Ulrich moved in for the final blow, Tyler donkey-kicked him onto another rock.

Tyler stood up, firing a binding spell at Faya, who had made a break for it while Tyler was on the ground. This time, the spell held, pinning Faya in place. Tyler quickly turned his attention back to Ulrich, who was slashing at his head.

"This is from Faya!"

"And this is from Neo," replied Tyler evenly, bending back to avoid the attack, then snapping his head forward into Ulrich's face, stunning him. Tyler took the opportunity to trip Ulrich with a lunge from his staff, but Ulrich rolled to his feet and slashed at Tyler, who jumped back and found himself teetering on the edge of his rock. Just as Ulrich jumped forward to strike, Tyler blurred back onto the next rock over. He stuck out his tongue at Ulrich, who let out an unrecognizable sound and jumped at Tyler, who stepped back to dodge, responding with a pulse of energy that knocked Ulrich down and gave Tyler some breathing room.

Tyler readied his staff in a defensive position, and when Ulrich jumped back up to attack, Tyler easily blocked his first several blows, but after a while, Tyler began to wear down. To block several attacks, he had used a defensive shield, and the magic was starting to take its toll.

"Can't keep this up for much longer... gotta end this quick." Tyler parried two slashes in a shower of sparks and slammed Ulrich in the face and gut at the same time. The yellow-clad swordsman stumbled back, and Tyler swung at his head. Ulrich blocked and backpedaled, Tyler shooting several small bursts of magic at him.

That's when Faya decided to help out. Pressing a button on a small remote, she summoned a robot. It looked humanoid, and it carried a large ax. It swung the ax at Tyler, who jumped back, then jumped forward and kicked the robot in the chest. The magic stored in his foot (i.e. they stink) not only prevented Tyler's leg from breaking, they melted a dent into the robot's chest. The robot (who I'm gonna call Rob for convenience) swung his ax again, and Tyler backflipped away to safety, then twirled his staff frantically as Ulrich rejoined the battle with a series of slashes. Tyler jumped away as Rob cleaved down again, smiled as the blow headed for Ulrich, then frowned as Ulrich grabbed on to the ax, rode it into the air, then jumped off and slammed his swords down where Tyler had been a second ago. Rob prepared for another swing, but Tyler rolled around Ulrich and cut Rob in two with a blade of energy. Unfortunately, this left him open, and Tyler just noticed Ulrich's attack in time to blur away from it. Unfortunately, this left him in the middle of the air. Tyler blurred forward, hanging on to the edge of the cliff, then levered himself over Ulrich's head. Ulrich stabbed upwards, but Tyler hooked their weapons together and pulled Ulrich into a backbend. Ulrich flipped over Tyler's head, landing in front of him.

"Ha!" said Ulrich and Tyler simultaneously. Ulrich looked puzzled.

"Wait. I'm saying ha because I'm about to win. Why are you saying ha?"

Tyler answered by rolling under Ulrich, knocking him down like a bowling pin. Ulrich rolled to his feet, slashing up at Tyler, as the latter formed a shield to defend. Then, Tyler expanded the shield, pushing Ulrich further back. Ulrich was about to try again when Tyler lunged at him and placed a small sticker on his chest. Ulrich twitched once and then stopped fighting. Tyler waved a hand in front of his face. Ulrich did nothing.

"I think the shock from that Copyright stunned him. I'll take him out now." Tyler blasted Ulrich with a bolt of magic, and the warrior disintegrated. Faya's eyes widened, and she turned to run. Tyler followed.

"Can't let her get to Carthage. She could take over Lyoko from there." Tyler looked up and saw that they were reaching the edge of the sector. Using her Sue powers to summon the Transport Orb, she zipped off to Carthage, Tyler hanging on for dear life.

-

In Carthage…

Faya went flying out of the Transport Orb, closely followed by Tyler. The two of them hit the ground hard, Tyler trying to roll closer to Faya so he could get a Prohibitor on her, Faya kicking him away. They rolled to their feet, Tyler readying his staff and Faya preparing a spear strike. Tyler surreptitiously slipped out a Prohibitor as Faya attacked. Tyler dodged to one side and used Faya's momentum to get a Prohibitor onto her wrist. There was a flash of light, and Faya's Sue abilities, along with her spear, disappeared into nowhere.

That's when everything went wrong. Wait, no, that's wrong too. A Plothole opened in midair and dropped Relyt into the fandom. The Protection Society Agent admired his bright blue surroundings for a moment before turning his attention to Tyler. Relyt sneered.

"So, my pathetic clone has come to deal with a Sue. Pity he won't even be leaving this fandom."

Tyler shook his head sadly.

"If Shirley were here, you would be dead by now. She hates clichés."

Relyt shrugged.

"But she isn't, and you're the one who ends up dead here."

"I'll take you up on that, ten to one."

Relyt smiled, kicking Tyler away from him, then grabbed Faya and slung her through a Plothole into another fandom. He then returned his attention to Tyler. Tyler had already prepared a blast and fired it as Relyt turned to face him. The doppelganger parried, jumping forward and cleaving down at Tyler, who jumped to one side. Relyt snarled and attacked with a wild sweep, tripping Tyler and bringing the staff down. Tyler held the staff away with his legs and pushed Relyt to the ground. The twin selves leapt to their feet and attacked each other… and were suddenly thrown back by an unseen force. They turned around to see Will, standing on the back of his Manta. The black-suited warrior jumped into the air and drew his huge sword, flipping towards the two. Relyt smirked and grabbed Tyler by the throat, hurling him at the oncoming Will. Tyler gulped as Will slashed at him, but blocked, skidding past Will and sending the swordsman flying at Relyt. Relyt dodged back and struck at Will, who flicked the attack aside and began dueling with Tyler's evil twin. Tyler, meanwhile, had just landed, and was running in to deal with Will. Will, however, heard him coming, and flipped over Tyler, letting him slam face first into Relyt. The two stumbled off in different directions, and Will turned around, preparing to fire a blast of smoke at the dizzied Agents. Before he could do that, Relyt recovered, leaping towards him. Will fired at him, but Tyler had already fired his own attack at Relyt, knocking him out of the way. Relyt rolled to his feet, and the three fighters stood in a triangle, each one's eyes flicking between the other two. Will moved first, jumping at the two while spinning. Tyler dodged under the blade, while Relyt dodged over. The two attacked Will at the same time, but he just transformed into smoke and zipped away, and the two smacked each other.

This time, Tyler recovered first, slamming his staff into Relyt's gut. The latter stumbled back, then spun around as Will attacked, knocking the third backwards. Relyt smiled, but his smile disappeared as Will slashed at him. Relyt blocked and returned the favor with a slam to the face. Will groaned as he was thrown back, but quickly got to his feet, just in time to block an onslaught of strikes from Tyler, who leapt away to attack Relyt with a similar assault. Relyt, however, blocked quickly and threw Tyler away. The Manta let out a cry and flew in to finish Tyler, but Tyler blurred onto its back. After some experimentation, Tyler figured out how to steer the beast. He flew towards Will and Relyt, who were dueling viciously, and prodded the Manta hard in its Eye of Xana. The Manta fired a blast at the two, blowing them off their feet. Will recovered first, and seeing Tyler riding his mount, he let out a war cry and bounded forward. Just as he stabbed at Tyler, the Agent sprang off the Manta's head, and Will's sword pierced through the Eye. The Manta let out a screech of pain and exploded. Tyler twisted in midair, kicking Will into the great beyond. The black-clad swordsman disappeared into a tendril of smoke that quickly disappeared into nowhere. Tyler wasn't paying attention to this though. When he had landed back on solid ground, Relyt had immediately rushed him. The two were now well into a complex duel that involved large amounts of magic use. Finally, Tyler managed to kick Relyt away and take a breather.

"Man I'm tired. I've definitely been using too much magic. Time to get back to the basics." Tyler charged at Relyt, who seemed to be just as tired, and landed several punches and kicks. Relyt went flying backwards and landed hard, but stood up with a wide grin.

"Seriously, you think I would just let you beat me up? I was using your energy to recharge my magic. Thanks for the boost."

"Anytime. By the way, check your shirt."

Relyt looked down. There was a small, glowing, mass on his chest.

"Oh…"

BOOM!

Relyt went flying back again. This time, he had created a small shield to block the worst of the bomb Tyler had planted on him. He got up more slowly this time.

"You, Tyler, are way too into explosions!"

"That's not true! Just because I specifically built a reusable bomb into my primary weapon so that I could use it whenever I wanted to doesn't mean I like explosions too much!"

"…"

Relyt jumped at Tyler, and the two went back to their old standby of beating each other up. Relyt delivered a punch to Tyler's face, and Tyler responded by kneeing Relyt in the groin.

"Owwww…" Relyt groaned. "No fair…"

"You must have confused me with someone who cares," replied Tyler cheerfully. Relyt just moaned. Then a pair of Mantas came along.

"This'll cheer ya up, Relyt!" Tyler grabbed Relyt's arm, launching him onto one of the Mantas. Tyler jumped onto the other and made it a blast at Relyt's, who swerved to avoid it.

"See, you're getting the hang of it!" called Tyler to Relyt.

"I am not getting a hangover!" called back Relyt, still slightly groggy from Tyler's knee.
"Hangover? How did he get to that?" Tyler fired another blast, but this time, after dodging, Relyt wheeled his Manta around and fired a blast at Tyler, who jumped over it and landed back on his Manta. Tyler responded by firing a volley of his magic blasts. Relyt avoided all of them, except for one which struck the tail of the Manta. The Manta roared in pain and sent a small block with the Eye of Xana on all sides flying at Tyler. Tyler looped away from it, the block exploding inches from his head. Tyler smirked. He fired several blast at Relyt, but then turned a 180 and let loose a mine at Relyt, who was busy parrying the laser blasts and didn't notice as the mine approached. Just as Relyt deflected the last blast, the mine slammed into his Manta, sending it careening off course. Relyt struggled to right the Manta, while Tyler swooped in.

Just as Tyler prepared to fire, Relyt's Manta spun around, and the two monsters slammed into each other. They separated, then collided again. This time, Tyler and Relyt locked staves, skidding past each other and curving around for a second blow.

"Give up, Tyler!" Relyt screamed from above, diving in to attack.

"Not a chance, Relyt!" yelled back Tyler, rolling around to dodge. Tyler turned around, bearing down on his counterpart. When he was a yard above Relyt, Tyler prodded his Manta, dropping down and buffeting the Protection Society Agent. Relyt gave ground, then looped, coming up behind Tyler. Relyt fired a blast, catching Tyler's Manta in the base of the tail. The Manta shrieked in agony, wheeling towards Relyt and firing a round of blasts. Relyt navigated the barrage and leapt at Tyler's mount, slamming his staff into its Eye. The Manta exploded, sending Tyler and Relyt flying. Relyt jumped back onto his own Manta, while Tyler rolled onto the platform the Manta had been circling. Relyt flew in for the kill, and Tyler grabbed on to his Manta, climbing onto its back. Tyler and Relyt exchanged several blows, Tyler sliding down to the Manta's tail and using it as a springboard. Relyt ran at him, but Tyler knocked him to the ground. Tyler stood over Relyt triumphantly until the doppelganger tripped him with a blow to the shin. The two pummeled each other ferociously, not paying attention to the fact that they were on a giant flying manta ray. Finally, Tyler pushed Relyt onto the tail, and tied a knot around him. Tyler took control of the Manta, flying in random patterns. Relyt, on the other hand, was continually slamming into the walls, ceiling, and floor of Carthage.

"I-OW-will-ooh!-kill-ow- ow- ow- you-someday!" screamed Relyt, bouncing off the platform.

"I know. But for now, I think I'll enjoy myself," replied Tyler, bashing Relyt into a wall. Relyt snarled and began pushing at the knots. After five minutes, and fifty collisions, Relyt pushed his way out of Tyler's knot. He grabbed hold of the Manta's tail.

"Time to die, Ty-ty," Relyt crooned, hurling Tyler and the Manta onto the platform. They landed hard and the Manta flew. Tyler groggily stood up as Relyt walked over, grabbing him by the throat.

"Now, I show you what I was talking about." Relyt tossed Tyler into the air and raised a fist glowing with magic. Tyler gaped, even though he was falling through the air.

"Oh muffins."

Relyt slammed the fist into Tyler's gut and the explosion propelled him across the platform.

"You didn't think I was just going to lie there and take that, did you?" Relyt asked mockingly.

"The thought crossed my mind." Tyler mumbled from his end of the platform.

"Well you were wrong!" Relyt snapped.

"Yeah, you should look behind you." Tyler warned.

"Yeah right! I won't fall for that trick!"

"Okay."

THUD!

Relyt was sent flying by a laserbolt to the back. He slowly picked himself up.

"Krahhhh!"

The Manta was hovering in front of him, looking very upset. Relyt gulped as it flew towards him. Suddenly a blast of magic came from behind, vaporizing the Manta. Relyt turned around. Tyler was standing behind him, his staff smoking.

"Why would you stop the Manta from killing me?"

Tyler smiled happily.

"Because that's my job."

Tyler fired a second blast, hitting Relyt in the face and knocking him down. Relyt slowly stood up. Tyler ran over and extended his hand…to punch Relyt in the face. Relyt reeled back, stunned. Tyler followed up by stomping on Relyt's foot.

"Owww…" moaned the doppelganger.

"Random blast of magic that shouldn't have a name but I wanted it to so it does!" screamed Tyler, blasting Relyt into the air. When he came down, Tyler hit him with an energized uppercut. Relyt went flying again, but this time Tyler let him hit the ground. Relyt stood up, eyes blazing.

"You…" Relyt fired a huge sphere of magic at Tyler, who blurred away from it. Tyler prepared to strike… and it exploded in his face. Tyler flew into the air and landed hard. Relyt collapsed laughing. Tyler stood up, bright red.

"Well… er… all part of my plan?"

"What plan? Your plan to make a fool of yourself? Because it's doing quite well."

"Owww… .my head…" Tyler rubbed his skull. Relyt was still trying to stop laughing.

"Now, stop fooling around and fight, you little…" Tyler had already blurred to a foot from Relyt and was holding a blade of magic to his thoat. "You were saying?" asked Tyler cheerfully.

"Um, I was just saying how great and powerful you are."

"I'm not convinced."

"Too bad." Relyt slammed an elbow into Tyler's gut, then flipped him over his head. Tyler hit the ground with an "Oof!"

Relyt smirked. "Now, it's my turn."

Relyt brought his staff down where Tyler's head had been a moment ago. Tyler jumped to his feet.

"Oh, no you don't!"

"Oh, yes I do," replied Relyt, bringing his staff back up to slam into Tyler's jaw. Tyler stumbled backward, and Relyt smacked him with a hand of magic. Tyler retaliated with a slash, but Relyt jumped away and swiped Tyler in the ribs. Tyler sent a wave of magic at Relyt, who rolled with the attack. Relyt sent a sphere of energy at Tyler, who reflected it back at Relyt, who reflected it back at Tyler, who reflected it back at Relyt, who reflected-

"ENOUGH! THIS ISN"T PING-PONG!" screamed Tyler and Relyt simultaneously. Then they realized something.

"Hey, did we just agree on something?" asked Relyt.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Oh well, there goes the universe as we know it."

"Ha ha. Now, do you think we should act on it?"

"Nah, we can't kill the writer, it's not polite."

"Since when have you cared?"

"This is the author. He is God. We do not defy him."

"Whatever. So we should get back to killing each other?"

"Yes."

"Okay." Tyler leapt at Relyt and punched him in the face. Relyt responded with a kick to the shin. Tyler hopped on one foot for a while before recovering and poked Relyt in the eye. The Protection Society Agent howled in pain and socked Tyler into the middle of next week. Okay, just a few seconds into the future. Either way it hurt. Tyler grabbed Relyt's ear and pulled. Relyt yelped in pain. Tyler's jaw dropped.

"Can you teach me how to make that sound?"

"Oh shut up." Relyt punched Tyler away, and Tyler kneed him again.

"AIEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Wow, I thought only bats could do that!"

"Shut up!" Relyt squeaked.

"Never."

"Then perish in flames!" Relyt produced a flamethrower.

"Where did you get that from?" asked Tyler, somewhere between "nervous" and "panicking."

"A little gadget the Protection Society dreamed up when we didn't have to worry about making Prohibitors and Copyrights."

"That does…?"

"It's called a Space Hammer. It shrinks to the size of a small playing card and can transform into any weapon."

"Sounds pretty Stu-ish to me."

"Only if it actually worked more than 20% of the time."

"Touche."

"Now, where were we? Oh right, you were about to die." Relyt turned the flamethrower on full blast. At this point, Tyler would like to say that he stood his ground and found some clever way to defeat Relyt. He'd like to say that, but the truth is, he ran like a maniac. Relyt laughed like a maniac, firing his flamethrower indiscriminately. Tyler attempted to attack Relyt with magic, but the blasts were canceled out by the stream of flame. So Tyler took the only intelligent option available. He opened a Plothole back to the Library and leapt through it just as a huge fireball hit where he had been a moment ago. Relyt groaned, but opened a Plothole of his own and stepped through it.

-

"The Protection Society is getting stronger every minute, isn't it?" Tyler commented.

"Yeah, it looks like it," replied Drake.

"You know, we should probably be trying to get down, shouldn't we?"

"Probably."

The two were tied up, hanging over a huge plate of Oreos.

Insert Odd-Looking Alien Here

Tyler was sitting between two shelves of the Library reading from a large stack of books when Ben walked in, Shirley trailing a foot behind. Tyler looked up long enough to say hello, then returned to his reading.

"What are you doing…?" Ben started.

"CLICHÉ!" screamed Shirley, whacking Ben over the head with a large mallet that she seemed to have produced out of nowhere. Tyler looked up again.

"Where did you get a mallet?" he asked.

"That's also a cliché, but I'm Ben's muse, so I can't beat you over the head." Tyler quickly stood up with his stack of books and left for another row.

"That's a third cliché!" Shirley called after him, but Tyler wasn't paying attention. He went to the next row over and sat back down, continuing to read his books. After a while, he stood up and decided to try practicing what he was reading about. He closed his eyes, and suddenly blurred, reforming at the other end of the row. He looked around him, picked a book off the shelf, and blurred back to his stack of books.

"Hmmmm, that went decently… I figured out how to control what direction I go, but I still need to figure out how to use that particular magic with my eyes closed…"

"WHO'S THERE!" called out a loud voice.

"I-I w-warn you, we're a-a-armed-d-d."

"It's me!"

"BE MORE SPECIFIC!"

"It's-a me, Mario!" called back Tyler in his best Italian accent.

"V-very f-funny."

"Really?"

"NO! NOW WHO IS IT?"

"It's me, Tyler."

"OH." The two Marcuses came around the corner.

"Wh-what's with a-all th-the b-b-books?"

"I'm trying to adapt magic from different fandoms to the kind that I use."

"LIKE WHAT?"

"Like that guy from Advent's Children, the one who moves really fast… what's his name… Loz!

"WHO?"

"I don't know, I haven't seen the whole movie yet. But he moves really fast, and I'm working on a spell to duplicate that. It's almost done. Watch." Tyler stood up, closed his eyes, and blurred away.

"COOL."

"Thanks," replied Tyler, giving a fake bow. Then his communicator beeped. Tyler pulled it out and stared at it as if it was going to explode in his face. It didn't. Tash's face appeared on the screen.

"Tyler, remember Faya?"

"Yes."

"She's in the Ben 10…" Tyler didn't even let Tash finish her sentence.

"Onmyway!" Tyler opened a Plothole and blurred through it.

-

Faya, whose real name is too long to remember, gazed out over the ocean, with Ben Tennyson, hero of earth, at her side, and the Omnitrix, a wristwatch-like device that enabled the wearer to change into myriad different species of alien at her wrist. Her overly long sky-red (I know the sky isn't red but I need some weird adjective so Faya's hair won't be (gasp) plain red) hair fluttered in the nonexistent breeze, and yet somehow did not get lice. Ben gazed at her beautiful face, not even noticing his slightly less beautiful surroundings. The story behind all this? Flashback time!

Ben, his cousin Gwen, her boyfriend Kevin, and Ben's girlfriend Julie, were fighting an invasion of giant aliens that resembled mushrooms, and losing. They were just about to be overwhelmed when Faya flew to the rescue. It was quickly revealed that, like Gwen, she was half Anodite, a species of energy-manipulating aliens, although her powers were obviously more developed. Except for one thing. Faya wasn't half Anodite.

She was all Mary-Sue.

Anyway, back to this excuse for a plot. Faya raced in, singlehandedly defeated the entire mushroom army, and managed to look great in the process. However, Julie was somehow sent to the Null Void, an intergalactic prison dimension, but Faya comforted Ben at the speed of romance, and became his new girlfriend. He even gave her the Omnitrix, which she immediately unlocked, allowing herself to transform into millions of different aliens. Isn't that great? Then Tyler stepped in.

The first thing Tyler noticed was that the sun was unusually bright for twilight. Then he saw why. Faya and Ben were standing on the pier together, watching it.

"Figures," thought Tyler. "Nature has always been happy to bend to a Mary-Sue's will." He took a few steps forward, then called out. "Faya, by order of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society, yada yada yada, you're under arrest!" Ben and Faya turned around. Ben spoke first.

"No! I won't let you take her away." Ben ran at Tyler and tried to punch him. Operative word, tried. Tyler blurred backward and Ben fell on his face, knocking himself out cold. Tyler raised an eyebrow.

"You know Faya," he said conversationally, "You probably shouldn't have taken his Omnitrix. He isn't much of a fighter." Faya screamed in anger and slammed her hand down onto the Omnitrix. A flash of pink light enveloped her. Tyler gasped.

"The Omnitrix is supposed to be green! HOW DARE YOU MEDDLE WITH IT!" Tyler charged forward in blind fury and began pounding on the light as it formed into a 100 foot-tall alien that somewhat resembled Elemental Hero Neos. "Way Big!" Faya roared triumphantly. Tyler continued pounding on it. He drew his staff, which glowed with magic, then slammed it down on Faya's foot. Faya roared with pain and jumped 20 feet into the air. When she landed, a shockwave blasted Tyler off his feet. He rolled backwards and came back up, running towards Faya at full speed. Faya chuckled and kicked lightly at Tyler. Tyler leapt up onto her foot, then blurred up to her face and smacked her right between the eyes with his staff. Faya growled in pain and exhaled at Tyler, sending him flying again. Tyler didn't even wait until he touched the ground before blurring towards Faya. However, this time, instead of ending up in front of her, he slammed into her face and fell back, dropping towards the ground. Tyler drove his staff into Faya's knee, then propelled himself up with an explosion, sending him back to Faya's face. Faya blew at him, sending him careening back into a small warehouse near the pier. Tyler hopped out of the wreckage, undeterred.

"YOU WILL PAY FOR SCREWING UP THE OMNITRIX!"

"What is this, your favorite fandom?"

"No, but the Omnitrix is cool."

"It's even cooler when it's pink!"

"NO IT IS NOT YOU DEPRAVED WHACKO!" screamed Tyler, charging at Faya. Faya waited until Tyler was five feet away, then stomped hard, blasting Tyler off his feet. Tyler simply got to his feet and continued running forward, viciously pounding on Faya's foot, although it admittedly had very little effect. Faya sweatdropped.

Meanwhile, back at the Library….

"Tyler seems to have gone insane," remarked Drake. He was watching the mission on a TV screen for lack of anything else to do.

"I guess he's a little touchy about fandoms he likes," replied Marcus, also watching the mission.

Meanwhile, back in the fandom…

Tyler was still pounding on Faya's foot. After five minutes, Tyler finally gave up.

"CHANGE INTO SOMETHING SMALLER DAMMIT!"

"Just to prove that I'm infinitely superior to you, I will!" Faya disappeared in a flash of pink light, and Tyler shrieked and went into a fetal position. When he uncurled, Faya had changed into a smaller alien. It was still roughly the size of an adult elephant, but it was still smaller than Way Big. It looked like a bright pink hedgehog standing on his hind feet. Its nose was wide and flat, resembling a spade. It let out a roar, daring Tyler to attack. He did.

"FIX THE OMNITRIX NOW YOU FREAK OF NATURE!" Tyler jabbed Faya in the gut with his staff, then bashed her over the head. Faya registered no reaction. Tyler stepped back.

"PERISH IN FLAMES YOU PINK FIEND!" Tyler swung his staff, sending a wave of green light at Faya. Faya didn't even move. A hail of quills intercepted Tyler's blast. He charged forward. Another volley of quills rained down on him, but he parried them with a twirl of his staff and moved on. Faya reached behind her and snapped off two quills, blocking Tyler's onslaught and sending him skidding away. Tyler slammed his staff down and sent a shockwave of magic at Faya, who sent it back using her quills. Tyler flipped over it and charged. Faya swung her quill, but Tyler jumped onto it, using it as a spring and bouncing over Faya's head. Faya tried to follow him but fell over backwards, Tyler rolling away just in time to avoid being crushed. Tyler smiled, but his smile quickly faded as Faya curled into a ball and rolled after him. Tyler leapt over another warehouse, but Faya just plowed through it. Tyler almost landed on her, but propelled himself away just in time. He landed neatly and waited. Faya swung around on a dime and fired a round of quills. Tyler parried them away, but one was late in coming. It hit Tyler's staff and yanked it away. Tyler stared at his hand. Faya uncurled, laughing.

"Looks like you're unarmed. Now what?"

"How about this?" Tyler linked his fingers. "Royal Flush!" He spread his arms, and five card-like energy blades shot from his hands. Faya bellowed in pain as the blades hit her. Tyler blurred to his staff and picked it up, brandishing it at Faya. He then blurred back in front of her and kneed her in the face... then immediately regretted it. He landed hard and stood unsteadily, holding his right knee.

"You (censored), that hurt!"

"What did you expect? I have a shovel for a nose! And since when do you swear?"

Tyler responded with an extremely rude hand gesture. Faya snarled and lunged at Tyler, who had been slowly recovering from the blow to the knee. Tyler didn't move aside fast enough to avoid the attack, and tumbled to the edge of the pier (not so scary considering the water was five feet below, but whatever). Tyler rose to his feet, now fully recovered and seething. He pointed his staff and fired a ray of purple light, which Faya stopped with a rain of quills.

"Hmmm," muttered Tyler, twirling his staff, "you've improved."

"And you haven't," replied Faya sweetly. Tyler screamed with rage and rushed Faya.

-

Drake and Marcus were still watching the mission.

"Wow, Tyler's acting a little strangely. Usually he's the one driving the enemy insane." Drake commented

"He was right. Faya has improved, and she figured out how to tick him off." Marcus explained. Then Adrian entered the room.

"I heard screaming, so I came over. What's going on?" asked the Librarian.

"It's Tyler," replied Drake, not even looking away. Adrian's eyes widened slightly.

"Wow. I didn't even know he knew half those words."

-

Meanwhile, Tyler had given up on what remained of his ability to form cohesive statements and thoughts, and was simply battering Faya ferociously with his staff while screaming a string of colorful language. Tyler swung his staff, which was glowing from all the excess energy Tyler was radiating, and smashed it into Faya so hard that her body exploded in a spray of pink light, knocking Tyler back. When the light cleared, Faya was standing there in her human form. Tyler was still under the remnants of his battle rage, or, more precisely, his you-ruined-this-fandom-so-prepare-to-die rage. After several seconds, he calmed down due to the lack of pink. He swirled his staff.

"So, it looks like my attacks didn't do that much, did they?"

"No. Guess you aren't very strong."

"Actually, I think it's because blows to the head aren't very effective against you. You must have a thick skull."

"Why you…" A whip of energy appeared in Faya's hand, lashing out at Tyler. Tyler blurred backwards, avoiding the strike. His face registered surprise. "What did you expect? You walked right into that insult." He smiled as Faya roared.

"Ah, this is how I like it. I'm back in control." Tyler fired a fizz of sparks, needling Faya. The Sue went purple. Literally.

"YOU WILL NEVER CONTROL ME!" Faya stormed, charging at Tyler, purple light trailing from her hands. Tyler jumped to one side.

"Ooohhh, touchy. I like it." Tyler snapped his fingers decisively. "We could make a show 'When Sues Attack.' We'd make millions! Interested?"

"DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" A huge blast of purple energy shot at Tyler, and when he jumped to one side, the blast followed, slamming into him and blasting him off the end of the pier, into the water. Tyler blasted a hole through the pier, and Faya fell through. Tyler smirked as Faya flailed.

"Awwwww. Is big bad Sue afwaid of da wadah?" Faya growled and tried to charge, but found her way blocked by a heavy current.

"Seriously though, you're a Sue and you don't know how to swim?" Tyler asked incredulously. Faya's eye twitched.

"I… don't… have… to… SWIM!" Purple light exploded around Faya, carrying her into the air. Tyler, on the other hand, dropped underwater, found a good size rock, then bobbed back to the surface, swimming to the shore as Faya continued her temper tantrum. Tyler tossed the rock at Faya's head, only to have it shatter, bounce off, and fly back at him. Tyler knocked the rocks into blocks filled with lox-filled socks that carried pox. Faya, now glowing with purple light, hovered down in front of Tyler.

"So, any last words, Society Agent?"

"Yeah. You give off to much light."

"Says the person wearing a tie-dye shirt."

"I don't give off light."

"True, but since I'm a Sue, let's just say I won this argument."

"Let's not, and say we did."

"Give up! Why bother arguing with a Sue?"

"It annoys you, which is all the motivation I need."

Faya pounced at Tyler, who blurred away, then blurred back to Faya and landed a quick strike with his staff. Faya stumbled back, but quickly righted herself.

"Pathetic. I didn't even need my up-til-now-hidden ability to numb all pain."

"Numb this," Tyler whispered, detonating the small magical explosive he had planted on Faya with his staff.

By now, Ben and Shirley had joined Drake, Marcus, and Adrian. At "Numb this," Shirley gave a small, involuntary shudder.

Tyler had decided that he was hungry, and so, while Faya was recovering, he had gone over to the local fast food restaurant and ordered two large fries, an apple juice, and a Coke. He went back over to Faya, left the Coke and one box of fries by her, then went to the edge of the pier to eat. When Faya woke up, she noticed the food and happily began to eat. Tyler, noticing this, called over to her.

"By the way, no hard feelings, but I placed a few reasonably powerful magical explosives on your food."
Faya's eyes widened.

"Oh…"

BOOM

Faya went flying high into the air, creating an impressive display of fireworks. When she came down, several veins were pulsing in her head, and her green-green eyes were radiating a death glare of the highest level. Even Tyler backed away slightly. Faya gave a screech, then ran at Tyler, completely berserk "You ruined my perfect hairdo!" Faya punched Tyler in the face, sending him flying onto the roof of the restaurant. Tyler leapt down… and was pinned to the ground by a recovered Ben.

"Don't hurt Faya!"

Tyler slipped his staff between him and Ben, levering the former hero over his head and onto the ground, where he lay still. Tyler stood up and brushed himself off.

"Wow, Archimedes was right. You can lift anything if you have the right lever."

Faya was now even angrier, if possible.

"You hurt my boyfriend! Prepare to die!" Faya charged at Tyler, who stepped aside, letting Faya charge past him.

"A Sue falling in love with a canon character? Don't make me laugh," replied Tyler, already submitting to a severe case of the giggles. Faya twitched.

"Okay, maybe I didn't love him, but I liked him a lot! …Okay, a little! ...Okay, I couldn't stand him, but you can't just throw him over your head like that!"

"It was self-defense!"

"So what? You can't hurt the main character! Besides, he's cute!"

"So, you admit you have feelings for him."

"Yes! I mean no—I mean y-NO!"

"I am sorry," buzzed Tyler in a robotic voice. "Answer is not valid. Please try again."

"I have no feelings for…"

"I am sorry. Answer is not '…'"

"SHUT UP!" Faya fired a bolt of energy at Tyler, who blocked with his staff, then fired a bolt of his own. It hit Faya and knocked her off the pier. Her red-green eyes flashed and she burst out of the water, firing a hail of energy bursts at Tyler. Tyler rolled away, but several blasts connected, pushing Tyler into the ground.

Tyler stood up dizzily… just in time to be hit with another blast, size XXX large. Tyler was hurled back into a third warehouse (convenient aren't they). When he stood up, he seemed a little shaken.

"I swear officer... the piano was in the back… it was his fault…" Faya laughed and went in for the kill. Tyler didn't recover in time, and she blasted him back into the wreckage of the third warehouse. When Tyler stood up this time, he was even more shaken.

"Isn't punching me considered police brutality… I could probably sue you for that…" Faya grabbed Tyler in a energy lasso, and hurled him into the air. He came down and went through the roof of a fourth warehouse. This time, he didn't stand up, only mumbled from inside the warehouse.

"Stupid elevator… hit me from behind." Tyler hopped to his feet. "But since when are pink elephants allowed in elevators?" Tyler blinked and shook his head. "Now, what was I doing? Oh right, I was in the middle of beating Faya… she's improved… maybe I should use my last weapon? No, too dangerous."

Tyler walked to the wall and attempted to open it before he realized he was on the wrong side of the warehouse. He opened the real door and climbed out of it… wait, that doesn't sound right. What? Oh. Okay, it turns out that Tyler accidentally went out the window. Guess he was still a bit muddled. Anyway, he fell out of the window and landed on the ground. He got up, and for the first time in five minutes, he had a completely clear head. He looked around, and noticed that Faya had transformed into an oversized bat. It flew at Tyler, who rolled around the attack and batted it in the side of the head. Faya spun into the still-standing fourth warehouse, although when she slammed into it, it quickly lost that distinction. Tyler held his staff in a defensive position.

"Well Faya, it's been fun, but this fight's over now." Tyler pressed a button on his staff, and it transformed into a small object resembling a Rubik's Cube. He pressed another button on the cube and it started to glow. With a wicked grin, Tyler hurled the cube at Faya. The Sue frowned.

"How do you expect to beat me with a puzzle cube?" she asked with contempt. Then she heard a faint voice.

"Did you have a bad day-?" Faya paused.

"What the…"

Tyler smirked.

"Bye-bye."

"FFFFFFUUUUUUUUU-!"

Tyler smiled happily. Then his jaw dropped as Faya, still in the form of a giant bat, stepped out of the smoke. She had Tyler's stun bomb in her hand.

"You can have this back," she sneered, tossing the still-smoking bomb back to Tyler. "Did you actually think that a stun bomb would hurt me? I just used the powers of this alien to make a wall of sound that blocked your attack. Now," she said, raising a claw. "You die." Faya flew at Tyler, claws outstretched. Tyler pulled out a small stopwatch, pressed the button, and disappeared.

When Tyler woke up, he was still lying on the pier. Obviously nobody had bothered with him. He sat up and looked around him to see if Faya was in the area, but saw nothing. Tyler sighed, opened a Plothole, and went back to the Library.

-

Now for the ending….

Julie came back from the Null Void and everything was happy again.