Showing posts with label maria luigi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label maria luigi. Show all posts

Sunday, March 9, 2014

A Little More Conversation

Evening in the Library Arcanium was still quite full of activity. Mostly because it was still midday for many people, and those who didn't have obligations in Real Life were coming on duty just as those for whom it was past dinnertime were beginning to relax.

Alice was introducing Robert to Enya music and helping him on his archive binge for his exam while Louise sat on the floor of their room and puzzled out a new red Magic deck. Red and Danielle were having a 'dye-off' in one of the largest public bathrooms, challenging each other to get the funkiest colour. There was a large TF2 campaign going on in the Library's main auditorium, plugging the games consoles into the eye-wateringly massive screen.

Down in the basement, Tash and Rhia were trying to make the chore of feeding the Sues into something more fun. The latter was the one officially on duty, but roping in the former's enthusiasm to help with dinner had made things much easier. They had seen a cooler full of ingredients, a portable stove and the largest wok anyone had ever seen being brought down into the duty office and dinner for twenty-four hungry inmates made fresh instead of being boringly replicated from base proteins and sugars.

The smell of the properly authentically-prepared stir fry permeated the prison, chasing away some of the residual sour smells from repeated hoarding attempts. Many of the inmates savoured the aroma, bellies rumbling in anticipation; for several months the food had been very good, but though while many were enjoying the new diet, some of the more cynical Sues were still adamant that it wouldn't last.

But once more, these skeptics were reduced to a chuntering, but mostly semi-grateful silence as the high-spirited Tash began doling out large, full bowls of a delicious-looking jumble of meat strips, vegetables, noodles and sauce, all bound together and glossy with richness and freshness. She started in the cells closest to the door and began to work her way back, often disappearing back for more while those who had been already presented with their bowl fell upon the meal with great relish. Several even called for seconds, to be answered with Rhia's giggle and a reply of "Wait until everyone's fed their firsts first!"

A low, satisfied banter rumbled softly around the basement as Tash gave Block C their dinner. She handed a bowl to McLaren, who gave a grunted "Thank you" in response. It was clear that the Stu was hungry as, after first looking through the contents of the bowl, he twisted some of the noodles around his fork, and shoveled them into his mouth.

It tasted very good, just as good as it had smelt; although there was something at the back of his mind. Like a tiny warning signal. Something was wrong.

He looked around at his fellow inmates. Tash was just finishing off doling out D Block's dinner, and the others were eating with gusto. It was obvious that no-one expected this change of attitude to last, and were going to make the most of it.

McLaren placed a hand briefly on his stomach. He was beginning to feel a little nauseous. Maybe it was the lack of food that had been there previously.

He twisted a second forkful of noodles up, and started to eat them. It was a little harder to eat this forkful. A knot in his stomach was trying to tell him that something was most definitely wrong. He forced the second mouthful down, wincing a little as he swallowed.

Leaning forward, McLaren felt his head spin. His breath was now coming in short gasps, but he was determined to finish his dinner. With slightly shaking hands, he clung to the bowl as he inserted the fork for a third mouthful, but the utensil slipped through his fingers as he picked it back up, and clattered to the floor.

Bending down slightly to pick it up, he heard Holly's voice from the next cell over. Their beds were on opposite sides, and in using it as a seat they faced each other.

"McLaren?" She sounded concerned.

"Fork…" he gasped, still trying to reach it.

"Oh dear," she said, leaning through the bars and collecting his fork, and handing it to him. McLaren's fingers wrapped around the metal, but as Holly released it, there was a loud clatter as it hit the floor again.

Holly was now really worried. She reached as far through the bars as she could. Fingers just brushing McLaren's hand, she gently asked, "McLaren, what's wrong?"

McLaren had leant forwards, his elbows resting on his knees. He was shaking and his breath was now panicked gasps.

"Ryouga," Holly called to McLaren's other neighbour, "can you hold McLaren up? Make sure he doesn't fall off his bed…"

Ryouga turned, saw that something seemed off, and nodded. His bed was practically touching McLaren's on the long edge, with just a wall of steel bars separating them. He reached through his bars to hold on tightly to McLaren's shoulders.

Holly looked around. The leader had long finished dishing up the first round of stir-fry and had retreated to the office to have her own helping. Neither she nor the agent on duty had no idea that McLaren was ill.

"McLaren…" Ash now came to the corner of his cell, which joined on to both of theirs. Reena was watching silently, and Kerrie was beginning to panic herself.

"Leave off him, Ash." Holly defended to sick inmate, but the look on Ash's face told her that he was just as concerned.

McLaren was wheezing, seemingly unable to get enough air. His vision was tunnelling, his arms and legs were tingling enough to become painful, there was a hot feeling in his chest and an inexorable sensation that he was about to die. Holly's fears rose further as she noticed a growing puffiness around his eyes and red welts forming on his skin wherever Ryouga touched him.

Ash looked in shock at the growing emergency, and then down at his bowl.

Ryouga was beginning to find it tough to keep both of them upright. "Holly, we need to get help."

"They won't listen!" shrieked Kerrie.

"They will – there's no way this isn't real," said Holly.

"We need to GET them to listen first," said Reena, thinking logistically. "We're too far down from the office…"

"Hey! B Block guys!" hollered Ryouga suddenly. Somehow, a lot of them hadn't noticed the drama, but at his yell many looked over. "Get the agents' attentions! We need them down here. McLaren's ill. Pass it on!"

Declan, alone in A Block and the only current inmate in green, realised his name was being shouted through his reverie of a good book and a good meal. He could see the struggle playing out two blocks away, and the notes of alarm in the voices of those shouting at him to act.

And act he did.

"TASH! RHIA!" He licked his fork clean and banged it against the bars. "GUYS!"

Rhia, mouth full and hogging a bowl of her own, popped her head out of the office on a wheely chair. "Huhwha?"

"Rhia, someone's become ill. People are worried. They need help. C Block I think –"

"Someone's ill?" said Tash, popping her head out at a taller height than Rhia.

They just about made out a cry of "he's barely breathing!" from somewhere deeper within.

Tash was galvanised into action. Throwing her bowl on the side, she swept up C Block's keys and grabbed the green first-aid box from a shelf. She bounded down to the third group of cells – and paused to take in the scene.

There was only one thing that could elicit such wheezing, swelling and bright red hives like this…

"Oh shit, he's going into anaphylactic shock!" she said, scrabbling for the right key to McLaren's cell. "RHIA! Get the med staff down here!"

Rhia vanished, and a low alarm began to sound that would only be heard in the hospital wing.

Tash threw the barred door open and hurled the box onto the bed. "McLaren? Okay, listen to me – we've got to get you to calm down. Ryouga, keep him up for me…"

She wrestled with the bowl he still clutched, placing it under the bed. He grabbed for her hand and mouthed 'help me'…

"We will. We are. I promise. We need you to breathe. Breathe…" She dug around in the first-aid box with one hand, growing frustrated as she slowly realised this box had no adrenaline autoinjectors whatsoever…

McLaren was beginning to turn blue, almost pleading with Tash silently to not let him go. It seemed an age before she heard Phoenixia and Valerie's voices.

"Tash?"

"Oh God."

"Have you injected him?"

"No! There's none in the box!"

"Damn it! Hold on… Val, take his other hand!"

"Guys, we know you're lovely, can we borrow some pillows?"

They laid McLaren down with a pile of pillows propping up his head, and Phoenixia dug a packet of autoinjectors from her larger, EMT-stocked medical case. The first one she cursed at and tossed away for being out of date. The second was acceptable; she pulled off the cap and pushed the tip of the pen against McLaren's thigh, holding it in and allowing the needle to penetrate the fabric of his trousers and into his skin.

"Will that work?" came Holly's voice again.

"It won't be enough. Get him stable and then we can get him out…"

All they could do was try to keep him breathing, which was a losing battle.

Further up the basement, some of the girls who made up the right-hand edge of B block heard footsteps and a swish of fabric; they saw Adrian respond to the alarm and stop to take in the situation.

"Adrian!" shrieked Deliha, causing the Librarian's head to snap towards them.

"Something's happened to McLaren!" said Aaliyah, kneeling on her bed and clutching onto the bars.

He took a step towards them. The entire block stared at him fearfully.

"Tell me more," he demanded.

"I – I don't know, he was just eating his food, and then – and then he just fell down," gabbled Maria.

"Nixie was saying something about not having enough –"

Tiffany was cut off by Adrian nodding. "Right. Thanks girls – I think I'd be more useful upstairs." And without a second glance he turned and ran for the stairs.

By now Phoenixia had intubated McLaren; despite the adrenaline, it was going to get worse before it got better, and she decided the risks of attempting to get the tube down his swelling throat were not worth the increasing danger of shutting off his airways all together. Valerie and Tash's hands were nearly getting crushed; wherever something touched his skin, violently red wheals rose up.

Finally the three took a stretcher, fed into the cramped cell by Rhia, strapped the Stu to it and the two medics raced for the stairs.

And suddenly the energy in the basement dropped. With no more drama to see, the shock from the inmates was near tangible. Tash and Rhia stared at the empty cell, then looked up at the silent press of yellow, punctuated with orange, blue and a singular green around them. Dinner had been almost forgotten…

…Almost.

Ash broke the silence by hurling his quarter-empty bowl out the slot in his barred door, turning his back on it as it shattered on the concrete floor. He pointed straight at Tash.

"Poison."

Several Sues jumped at the smash, and at that single electrifying word, stared at him in disbelief.

"That's it, isn't it? You've gone through all this pretense of better food and better timing all to cover up the FACT, proven now, that you are planning to kill us all off." He turned to address those in his block and in the block behind. "Better get ready people, this is the beginning. They're bumping us off one by one. We're never going to see him again."

Both Rhia and Tash gaped. To their disappointment, several Sues nodded slowly in assent.

"Are you insane?" choked out Tash. "What would we have to gain from that?"

"Oh I don't know; suddenly a lot less work for you!"

"Our reputation's already down the toilet! Why would we make it worse?" said Rhia, her voice rising through the octaves.

"Look," said Tash heavily, trying very hard to stay coherent. "If we were going to knock you all off – which we're not – why would we go to the trouble of poisoning you and then calling for help?"

"To make it look better, obviously!"

"No! We wouldn't have done it. Look, we cooked the entire thing in the same huge wok, which I don't think has been used before today. The bowls are unmarked, the food is the same, Tash gave them out randomly. Only one has fallen sick!"

"Then how come I've lost my appetite?" came Fabian's accusing voice from behind them.

"Yeah, seems mighty convenient to me," agreed Alexander Whitestone, still in orange, from D Block.

"Rubbish!" yelled Declan from nearly at the entrance.

Many voices rose as the argument threw back and forth. Others were silent, wondering if this was the end of good treatment. The cell at the other end of C Block seemed completely empty, but the girls knew the inmate well enough to know that Tabitha would be hiding under her bed. Her neighbour on the other row was the only Sue in the basement who hadn't bothered to care about the drama and the ensuing argument whatsoever; Roxelana continued eating nonchalantly, reading a magazine.

Tash growled angrily. "This was an allergic reaction, for God's sake! No one else is going to get sick! This was not poison, and it's not an illness. It was bad luck. That's all there is to it!"

"But what could he have reacted to, Tash?" asked Rhia, turning towards her. "Especially to that extent. What did we put in?" She glanced to the ceiling, trying to remember. "Noodles, chicken…"

"He never said he had an allergy this bad, otherwise we would never have fed him anything that could have set him off. It was all normal fresh food, and we'd have known by now if he reacted to any of that!"

Rhia had paused in the middle of counting the ingredients on her fingers, her eyes suddenly wide. "Tash…we cooked it in peanut oil…you wanted it authentic…"

The taller woman's breath caught in her throat. "Crap. That's very possible." She bit her lip and met the gazes of the Sues around her. "But – why didn't he tell us? Oh God, that's stupid, not to mention dangerous!"

"Oh, so you DID poison him!" Ash grinned triumphantly. "That's a confession, you murdering bitch!"

"For the love of Christ!" gasped Tash. "Are you deaf or just stupid? I just said we didn't know! He never told us!"

"Cut it out, Harth!" snapped Matthew Slaymaker, the third blue T-shirt of the basement and in the block behind the two agents. "You're over-reacting. She didn't know of the allergy and neither did we."

"Thank you, Matthew!" said Rhia.

"Believe what lies you bloody want, and more fools you if you keep eating their shit. But you mark my words; no-one's making it out of here alive. And to think I almost believed that this hellhole was getting better."

"Y'know what, I don't have to listen to your garbage. Because that's what it is, GARBAGE!" Tash turned on her heels and almost ran for the exit.

"Tash – where are you going?" Rhia ran after her. She could tell that Tash was about to burst into tears.

"Fuck knows!" she yelled over her shoulder.

As the basement door banged shut, there was a last tense moment, and then several of the Sues sighed, almost deflating. Others glared towards Ash, who looked morbidly triumphant.

"Well done Ash, you twat. Well done," grumbled Reena, staring at McLaren's empty cell.

OoO

The clock on the sterile pale walls read two in the morning. By now everyone was either asleep or beginning to think of it.

Out of the usual inhabitants, one individual had more need for regular sleep than the others. And rather stupidly, but adamant that she could catch up later, she was the one awake enough to watch the clock hand tick over.

Alice yawned and sat back in the padded plastic chair that was one of those seemingly spawned endlessly by hospitals. This room was one of the couple of multi-functional individual units that were tucked away on one side of the hospital wing, and contained little more than her chair, the bed, associated medical paraphernalia, and of course that damned clock.

In the bed was McLaren, still recovering from his severe allergic reaction in the basement – and several subsequent relapses each an hour after the last, just as they thought he was out of the woods. He was being pumped full of adrenaline and fluids, and the constriction had lessened enough to allow him to breathe unaided again, after having passed his breathing test, even though he was still being assisted via an oxygen mask and the monitors kept a close eye on him.

The med staff had adhered to the tenets of their occupation, but they weren't happy with him. Few others could bring themselves to feel much more than contempt for the arrogant teenage Stu, but the leaders were frustrated that all their hard work over the past couple of months could have gone down the drain, as it proved McLaren still didn't trust them enough to tell them such important medical information. Alice herself thought he had been very silly… but there was something else that kept her by his bedside, waiting for him to wake so she knew he would be okay.

Why?

He had been her first and only capture, her only tangible success during her entire time in the Society, and technically it wasn't solely her own.

He was blithely prideful and refused to listen, two things Alice did not value highly. He was caught in the Warhammer 40k fandom, a massive and dangerous universe where any Sue would likely die quickly, and be so obvious that those they could not influence could detect it and commence orbital bombardment, let alone catch the attention of the Society. Or, she smirked as she recalled her first mission, the 'Ordo Maria-Rosa', as had been blurted out randomly on the spot.

She did feel pity, the fearful looks on his face when all had gone wrong – seen against the Crimson Fists, momentarily during his brief rebellion in the Basement Incident, and when he lost control and succumbed to the allergen only a few hours ago – remaining a poignant thought.

As the clock ticked onwards, she finally watched McLaren stir in his bed, and mumble softly.

"McLaren?" Alice rubbed his arm gently. "We had to bring you to the hospital wing. You're going to be all right now."

He glanced around blearily, his gaze settling on Alice.

"Do you remember what happened?" she asked.

"I… I ate…" His voice was muffled by the oxygen mask.

Alice nodded, and he realised what he'd done. Heaving a sigh, his head flopped back into the pillows.

"Why are you here?" he asked; with his lucidity returning, so to was his usual egotism.

It took Alice several moments to respond. "I had to make sure you were okay…"

He didn't reply any more than a shake of the head. Alice patted his arm one last time and stood up. "McLaren, it's half two…I need to go to bed. I'll come visit you later, 'kay?"

"Sure…" he murmured, half-asleep, but clearly not believing her.

OoO

"Well, this is going to be interesting…" Alice murmured to herself as she wandered the corridors.

The meeting called that late morning, waking her up, had summed up a few items of news that they already knew. Unexpectedly a new mission demand had come up at the same time; in her usual exuberance she volunteered to go, pulling Robert in with her. She paused briefly as she wondered whether he actually wanted to go, and hoped he was all right with it…but then she remembered they were heading into Sea Monsters, and always enjoying a well-made documentary, she couldn't resist. She wondered whether she'd get to see a Tanystropheus, her favourite long-necked piscivore archosaur.

After the meeting and the subsequent lifesaving lesson from Harriet, they had gathered in the Wardrobe, and issued with their gear for the boat. Alice wore a bright yellow T-shirt and knee-length blue shorts, belted securely and topped off with a buoyancy aid vest. She was always a little dubious about shorts as they showed off her legs, which she considered to be a little too meaty for viewing…at least she had no need for a wetsuit, as she would not be diving because it was far too great a risk to her epilepsy. Not that she minded.

They had been given half an hour to gather some personal stuff or faff while they finished packing the yacht. Alice, bag in tow, had decided to check one last time on McLaren.
Past the beds of sedated agents recovering from Plot Bunny bites, she slipped past Phoenixia – who was plugged into some personal music player and was bopping silently as she did a few chores around the Hospital Wing – and pushed open the door to the individual unit. She heard the latch click closed behind her.

McLaren was awake, and sitting up in bed. He wasn't hooked up to so many monitors now. A plate strewn with toast crumbs sat on the side table, but he looked bored.

"Morning," she chirped cheerily.

He looked at her, and past the moment of surprise, the usual resentment of his long-term situation settled back in his expression.

"You look a lot better," she continued, suddenly worried about his scowl. "How are you?"

Angrily, he lifted his right hand and tugged furiously on the strap locked around his wrist, handcuffing him to the bed rail. "How do you think?"

Alice's face fell, and she sighed, sinking into the chair by the side of the bed. She clutched her own wrist, memories coming thick and fast…and the singular thought that if Dave knew of this, he would be soundly pissed. "Oh dear…I'm sorry."

"No you're not," he snapped.

"McLaren…I am. I've been in your situation."

"Liar."

"They strapped me to my bed after the Basement Incident." She glanced at the look of cautious surprise, and gave a half-smile. "I was being violent."

"They said it's to stop me escaping," he said, a little less livid then before.

"Well…" His allergic reaction was long over, and after a good night's sleep in an actual comfortable bed and several rounds of buttered toast he was back to normal again. None of the individual wards had locks on the doors, so policy remained to handcuff any potentially mobile prisoner to their bed. She understood why, but knowing the helpless feeling such restraint gave… she didn't like it.

He watched her sigh, and slowly look up to meet his gaze. His eyes switched from black and grey to blue and yellow – matching Alice's clothes. "They said…" she continued, haltingly, "…they said that you're good to go back to the basement tonight."

"Oh, joy," he said, dripping with sarcasm.

"I'm sorry," she said again. "But surely… surely it's not… as bad as it was?"

He glared at her. "I'm not fooled. You'll forget about us soon enough and then it'll be back to starvation rations!"

"No, no…" She shook her head, trying, desperately trying to deny it. "You saw Harriet's big apology to you. We meant what we said… we… I meant it."

He snorted. "Really? We're getting punished now for hoarding."

"But that's really unhygienic!" she protested. "It goes all cold, and mouldy, and icky… I mean, it's not food any more. There are people getting stomach aches from that, how long until we get an E. Coli breakout, and…"

She trailed off under his withering glare.

"I'm sorry…"

"Stop being sorry. You're still lying. I've no reason to trust you or any one of you."

"What about Robert?" Alice asked softly.

McLaren paused for a long moment. "He's not been back since his hearing. What…what have you done to him?"

"Nothing! He's – I'm his – he's doing really well. He's taking the entry exam soon –"

"You've forced him to betray us!"

"No! No, this is his – his own choice! He's desperate to help you!"

"Bullshit!" He rattled his restraint further.

"It's because of what he said at his hearing that things have improved. Harriet wants him to be your go-between. Someone you have as an advocate. She's already preparing to name him Basement Welfare Officer once he passes – I've seen the brass sign for his door and all. This is really happening… I swear it is."

The surprise was evident on McLaren's face, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. He and Robert had been cell neighbours and they had more-or-less got along… as well as anyone in the basement could when faced with all McLaren's bluster. Ryouga had taken Robert's old cell when he had been put up for parole and moved to A-block, and he had not been as diplomatic as Robert.

He sighed. "Why do you care?"

Now Alice was silent.

"I… I felt… responsible. And nobody else… really…"

"You got me locked up here," he said, his voice now lowered, but with a sharp accusatory tone.

Alice nodded. "I did… I know. That's before I knew what it was like."

McLaren made a 'pfft!' sound, but he settled back into his pillows. He still looked very tired. Alice tilted her head at him.

"You need to rest…"

He merely grumbled something about being shocked that they even gave him a bed.

"You trust Nixie and Val? They wouldn't ignore your health just because you're a Stu. I saw you when they brought you upstairs…but you must have had a reaction before?"

"Hmm…" he mumbled. "I was eight. Before my powers kicked in. I didn't know it would come back because of this," he flicked the Prohibitor around his unrestrained wrist, avoiding the drip line in the back of that hand.

There was a moment of silence. Alice watched him go to speak several times. So many things left unsaid…

"What were you doing in 40k?" she asked eventually.

"Are things really going to change?" he asked at the same time.

She smiled for the first time. "McLaren… Robert's said that he wants us to help. He doesn't like the…the stress and the bias of the hearings, he wants us to try a different tactic, almost like rehab… Tash is already inadvertently trying this, because she's been talking to Tabitha about joining this little dance group thing, and she's jumping at the chance…"

"Huh?"

"…because the current parole system sucks monkey biscuits, and, er…" She watched McLaren nod enthusiastically, and she smiled. "I have a Ford KA, and a new little car I'm sending for its MOT before I bring it here…" She was beginning to ramble. "Well, what I mean is, would you want my help? …To start getting you towards parole one-on-one, like Tabby? I mean I really want to try… not keeping you locked up forever."

"I…" Slowly the glimmerings of hope came into his eyes, which changed to an almost normal brown and hazel.

"I'm willing if you are. But – you're still ill, so don't decide yet, mull over it for a while."
His mind was already made up, but he nodded anyway.

"You've got a nice big bed – god those bunks down there are like tissue paper, I think Robert's looking for better mattresses – so I'd enjoy it until tonight. I've got a mission to go for in – " she checked her watch, " – ten minutes, so I'd better skedaddle. I really do mean what I say, you know. Erm, but let's see – here," she handed him a remote control from a drawer.

He glanced up to a television in an upper corner. "What day is it?" he asked. "Anything Grand Prix-related on?"

"Probably, they're near the end of the season…there's always Dave and its constant reruns of Top Gear…"

McLaren nodded. Alice dithered for a moment, still recovering from the heavy accusations of not three minutes ago, and suddenly glad that she had Robert as a trump card. It seemed his coming role might be useful indeed.

"You've got a mission to go on, haven't you?" he said – unusually, almost uncharacteristically quiet.

"Yes. Er, sorry. I'm sorry about the anaphylaxis thing. I'll come see you when we get back from Sea Monsters."

She turned and headed for the ward door.

"Alice?" he said, just as she was about to step outside. It was the first time he'd ever used her name.

"Hmm?"

"I was in 40k… because I was trying to get my hands on a Land Speeder."

"Oh dear!"

Monday, December 30, 2013

Insert Multichapter Flashback Here (part 1 of 3)

Inara sat up in her bed and yawned. She winced as her left arm accidentally hit her nightstand. She hopped out of bed and threw on a Batman t-shirt and jeans before grabbing breakfast. Another day, another 24 hours of dodging Shirley. She had also been poking around to see what the other agents knew about Willie.

This amounted to pretty much nothing. Really, the guy was less open around other people than her. Inara was brought out of her musings by a blast of purple-black fire scorching the hallway.

"Stay away from the manga Shirley!" Willie shouted from down the hallway. Shirley, looking very much like she wanted to do very horrible and painful things to him, walked, er, hovered, flew, okay, went down the burned out hallway mumbling things that should never be repeated in front of your grandmother.

"Hey! Wait up!" Inara shouted as Willie turned and went down another hallway. The sound of a door slamming echoed and Inara dropped her head. Of course her one chance of talking to him ended with her being ignored. Lovely.

A Few Hours Later

Inara walked down the hallway, almost growling in frustration. "Stupid Platinum Elite Four…" She muttered to herself. Inara frowned in confusion as she heard some boy singing. It was really good singing too. But for some odd reason it was a Disney song… She shook her head lightly and went to check it out.

The singing was coming from a room a few doors down; the door slightly ajar.

"Oh, you have got to be freaking kidding me."

Willie was in the middle of the room singing Poor Unfortunate Souls. From what she could tell he was also trying to dance; the key word being "try." Inara burst out laughing. It wasn't every day you saw a vicious murderer singing a Disney song and dancing really really badly. Willie whipped around to see where the laughter was coming from and turned bright red.

"Are you done laughing at me yet?" Willie was still bright red and looking extremely annoyed . "J- Just a few more seconds" And she laughed for a few more seconds. Sixteen, to be exact. "I'm sorry, but that's hilarious, I've got to tell some of the other Agents." Inara had finished laughing about halfway through her first sentence and was now giggling uncontrollably.

Willie froze and a 'deer in the headlights' look appeared on his face. "Don't tell anyone. Please."

"I won't, but why not?" Inara crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Because they'll lose respect for me if they know I sing." Inara blinked and just looked at Willie like he had said he that Shirley hated violence.

Inara then started to laugh again; almost doubling over. Willie blinked for a few seconds until he realized exactly how stupid that reason was and started laughing along with her.

"Hey, do you need some training?" Willie asked. "Why do you ask?" Inara asked him tilting her head to the side; her eyes narrowing slightly. "Because you got your ass handed to you by a level two Sue; and I had to save you, Miss Damsel in Distress." Inara glared at him.

"I am no Damsel in Distress! Messing up on your first mission doesn't do that. Everyone screws up on their first mission. Plus, you're girlier than I am, Disney Boy." Inara glared at him. "In fact, I bet I can kick your ass!"

"You're on!" Willie shouted. As of this point they were both pissed off at each other. Way to go, Willie, you're a douche.

Luckily, for the two, who wanted to fight more than was probably good for them, the room they were in was pretty big and had hardly any furniture.

"Looks like I'll get some recompense for you spying on me!" Willie said while entering a traditional, "come and get me," pose.

"We'll see, Disney Boy!" Inara retorted, drawing her leg back in preparation for a charge.

"Then let's begin," he said, immediately running forward and punching her right in the stomach! However, Inara just grunted a bit.

"Is that the best you got?" she said snidely, before lifting her leg and planting a kick right his chest, sending him flying backwards. However, he merely dug his feet in and toppled head over heels, avoiding a hard collision with the wall.

"Heh, you're not much better. Try this on for size!" At that, Willie jumped into the air, descending with his foot first a la Boot to the Head, but was blocked by Inara bringing her hands up above her head, which slowed the strike enough to make it near painless. However, Willie just used her head as a stepping stone and leaped off, landing lightly and turning his torso toward her, only for her to turn around first.

"Try this!" she said, before pulling her arm back and launching it with a cry of, "I AM A MAN!" Willie just jumped out of her reach, causing her to be caught off balance and nearly fall over.

"Okay, I'm not even going to begin to explain why you can't use that line. However, let me give you some advice!" Willie said before running forward and planting a kick on her jaw. "Never attempt to punch someone who can get away!" he continued as Inara fell over on her back, groaning in pain.

"I suppose that's it," he said, turning around and sighing about the short duration of the fight, when he heard the sound of breathing right behind him. He turned quickly, and was shocked to see Inara standing up!

"And here's a lesson to you. Never turn your back on a dangerous opponent!" she said, before punching him with all her might. Unfortunately for her he caught the punch and hit her in the jaw; knocking her down. She takes a lot of abuse there.

The punch didn't keep her down for long though and Inara was back up in a flash. She kneed Willie in the stomach which pushed him back a bit. Before he could recover Inara kicked him in the face, knocking him down.

"You give?" Inara asked; crouching slightly in case the spar continued. "Yeah, yeah, I give." Willie rubbed his face where Inara's foot had connected. That patch of skin was already starting to turn an ugly purple.

"How did I get my ass kicked by a thirteen year old?" Willie mumbled under his breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Can you speak up?" Inara's smirk had grown to the point that it was almost psychotic. Willie just made a noise and averted his eyes.

Inara stuck her tongue out at him and leaned against a nearby wall. She coughed lightly and took a drink from the water bottle that had appeared from… somewhere.

"I have just one question: Why the AT4W quote?" Willie asked;,confused. Inara shrugged. "I felt like it and the Author wanted me to." As expected, the Fourth Wall broke. As per routine Adrian was shouting, Aster was being blamed, Tyler triggered a booby trap, and Ben took the opportunity to nuke something.

"So, why do you never really talk to anyone? I never do, but I'm new." Inara said looking at Willie with blatant curiosity. Willie just made a noise and looked away. "I heard you used to belong to some other organization; does it have anything to do with that? You don't have to tell me if you don't really want to though." Inara looked down at her feet, her shoulders slumping slightly.

"Nah, I'll tell you. It's not like you won't hear it later anyway. But sit down; it's a bit of a long one."

-

Insert Multichapter Flashback......... HERE!

-

"What is taking them so long?" Willie said to himself as he stretched out on his bed. "He said that it shouldn't take long to pinpoint the location of the next artifact, but it's been weeks now!" he complained, turning to lay on his side with a scowl. His eyes flickered around the room, looking at the black bookcase, black carpet, black chairs and black desk. Basically everything in his room was black, with the exception of the ceiling, which was a blood-red. Tasteless, yes, but very fitting. He sighed to himself. "Going on missions may be fun, but playing good boy with these idiots is starting to drive me mad," he said, sighing again as he did so. At that moment, his pocket began vibrating, with a few bars of a special theme playing. He immediately perked up, grabbed his phone out of his pocket, and put it to his ear. "You've finally found it?"

"Why yes, my little assassin. Why so shocked?" a strange voice answered. It was practically impossible to discern how the voice sounded, as it kept distorting with every word it spoke. "Did you think that I would let you down?"

"Heh, kinda," Willie replied, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. He then sat up on the bed and got a malicious grin. "So, where is it?"

"That's the best part!" the voice exclaimed. "It's in the Super Paper Mario fandom!" it continued, joy incredibly obvious in its tone.

"Ah, a place near and dear to your heart. How long will it be before Tash contacts me?" Willie replied, getting up out of bed and walking to a chair.

"Right now. Good luck!" the voice said before cutting off. Willie then heard a knocking at the door.

"Coming!" Willie said, hastily putting his phone in his pocket as he walked to the door and opened it, revealing Tash standing there. "To what do I owe this honor?"

"There's a Sue in the Super Paper Mario fandom and you seem to be the one best familiar with it. Can you go immediately?" she asked, looking over the room with a frown.

"Sure thing. After all, the longer we wait, the worse off the fandom becomes, right?" Willie asked, smirking, before pulling out his Plothole Generator, opening a portal and leaping right through it, leaving Tash to close the door and walk off bemused.

-





Moments later, in front of the magnificent structure of Castle Bleck, Willie jumped out of the opening Plothole and landed foot first before going off-balance and falling to the ground as the Plothole vanished. Willie quickly got back up and brushed down his white uniform.

"Okay, next time I practice before doing a move like that," he grumbled, before looking up at the castle and smirking. "So this is where my next target is? Let's see what the deal is," he said, before pulling out his cell phone and scrolling through his options. "Let's see…contacts, murder tips, artifact checklist…ah, here we go! Sue Information!" he exclaimed, safe in the knowledge of the diluted field being projected into the monitor room. His organization had covered all the bases.

"Alright then, what has this Sue done?" he mused, before selecting the Sue Information feature of his phone and reading what came up. "Hmm, apparently her name is Princess Beautiful Magical Mysterious Super Deity Maria PB. Luigi, and she comes from Sammer's Kingdom…? Okay, moving on. Only person in world with teleportation abilities… parents killed by ninjas…escaped before tragic destruction of Sammer's Kingdom and all in it, including protagonists… got the Pure Hearts and challenged Count Bleck… turned him and minions to good… is now marrying Dimentio?" he said, his frustration growing with each bit of text he read. "Why the nerve of this bitch! I ought to…wait," he said, his eyes widening. "She's marrying Dimentio?" he whispered, before his angry frown turned into a grin, and he began laughing with all his might. "The poor stupid Sue just dug her own grave!" he shouted, still laughing like mad as he ran through the castle doors and began slaughtering all in his path.


-

"Oh Maria!" Willie blared, hacking through the Sue-created Koopatrols guarding the door to the bride's room like a deranged butcher. "It's me, your friendly psychopathic arresting officer! Let's have a few rounds before I bring you in!" he exclaimed gleefully, kicking open the doors to her magnificent suite. It had been easy making his way through the "monsters" filling the palace. When Maria, in her kindness, had returned all of Bowser's former minions to their own universe, she had created stronger monsters of her own to take their place. However, "stronger" monsters were still no match for Willie's sword, as they had no preparation for the maniac that he was. He looked around the room, his eyes practically glowing with sadistic glee. The room was pure white, covered with figures of angels and filled with majestic treasures from many worlds, gifts from the grateful public to their soon to be queen. Maria herself was standing in the middle, wearing a beautiful form fitting white dress. Her hair, golden and stunning, fell in soft waves down her back, stopping at her feet. Her eyes were a limpid blue, and her skin was as pale and pure as new fallen snow, contrasted by her blood-red lips.

"Hello, Willie. I've been waiting for you," she said, her voice so rich that it would have sent lesser men into waves of ecstasy. Unfortunately for her, Willie was not a lesser man.

"Oh you have, have you? Then I suppose you know what's going to happen next?" he replied, lifting his black blade, bright red now from the massive amounts of blood coating it.

"Oh, I believe I do. You're going to hit me with that 'Revelation of Truth' attack you like so much, turn me ugly, and then stab or prohibit me while I'm bemoaning the loss of my looks. Luckily for me, I know I'm pure on the inside and as such you changing my appearance will have no-" she said, before being cut off by Willie, of all things, laughing. In fact, not just laughing, practically cackling, much to her surprise and anger. "Hey! What's so funny?" she shouted, her face going red with rage.

"Oh, you're too cute, Maria. You honestly think that I use such amateur tricks on you?" he said, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.

"Amateur… what are you talking about? That's what you've done in every mission that you've gone on! I've researched!" she exclaimed, eyes blazing.

"Oh you poor deluded fool. That style was a cover up, just a trick to keep those Society dimwits from guessing how powerful I really am," he said, before sheathing his sword and then pulling off the glove he wore on his right hand, exposing the strange symbol upon it. He held his hand up for Maria to witness. "Recognize this?"

Maria strained to get a closer look, and then sighed. "Oh god one of those," she said, a frown forming on her features.

"Yes," Willie said, smiling brightly. "This is a top grade magical seal, best in the business. I might not have a huge amount of power to keep sealed up, but I have enough to require something to prevent suspicion. And now you will-" Willie said, before he stopped in shock. Maria wasn't, as he expected, gasping in shock or standing paralyzed in fear. She was just shaking her head and sighing. "Um...why aren't you despairing at the thought of my power? Hikaru just took one look at this seal and she couldn't take it," he said, his eyes baring a confused look.

Maria just kept shaking her head, before looking back up at Willie. "Typical," she said, "Absolutely typical. A little extra power and you think that makes you king of the world. Well let me tell you something, you'd better Sue-proof your doors, because you are definitely Stu material."

Willie looked as though he was choking. "What did you say?" he asked, although it came out more as a strangled gasp.

"I said you're Stu material, didn't you hear me the first time?" Maria replied, her voice practically dripping snark. "I mean look at you. You're all brawn and no brains. Don't you live with a resident magic master who would recognize that seal the moment he saw it? One slip-up with that glove, and your cover would've been blown. And take a look at that outfit," she continued, gesturing to his bloodstained outfit. "Murdering in all white? I don't think so. And doesn't the Society usually watch missions?" she asked.

"Um, yes but… but I have a rerouter system in place!" Willie shouted futilely, trying to make himself look good again. "They'll never notice a thing because they're not seeing the real picture!"

"Yes, but what happens if a techie gets wind of this? Wouldn't someone notice the mainframe's been hacked into? Face it, you're so confident in your power that you forgot some major details, and as such fail. Any day now, someone will break into your frequency and see everything you've been hiding, and then your 'evil plan' will fall completely apart," Maria said, her eyes glinting in triumph.

Willie just stood there for a moment, dumbfounded. Then, to Maria's surprise, he smiled. "Well done. For a Sue, you definitely have a brain on you. I suppose it was too much to hope that no one would notice, but it does feel good to be able to open up to someone," he said softly, his seal starting to pulse.

"Huh? What are you-wait. That energy signature…" she whispered, her eyes beginning to widen as everything finally dawned on her. "You mean…?"

"Yes," he replied, before something strange happened. Although he didn't physically change, he suddenly got an aura of handsomeness and mystery that if anyone else was in the room, would have made them want to worship him. "There's no point in sending me offers, because I'm already a member," he finished, his face contorting into a wicked grin.

"But-but-but, how? How isn't the Society noticing you?" she asked, her eyes actually somewhat fearful.

"It's quite simple actually," Willie replied, before pointing to the still pulsating seal. "This seal may contain much of my magical power, but I'm not the strongest magician, certainly not strong enough to warrant a seal of this caliber. No, the main purpose of this seal is to contain my Suergy, or at least enough of it to escape detection."

"That shouldn't work! That seal is meant to contain magic, not a wavelength!" Maria shouted, with the fact that a Stu was not only in the Society, but still against her causing her anger to go through the roof.

"That's why my organization chose me. I'm only a measly Level 2, so the seal contains enough of my Suergy to protect me. I still come off as somewhat Stuish, but it's a small price to pay. And now you know why the rerouter system will remain working. It's charged with just a bit of Suergy, not much, but just enough to prevent those Society idiots from figuring it out until it's too late," he said, before making a slight gesture with his right hand. At that moment, the mysterious D-Pistol appeared, and Willie aimed at the quivering Maria. "And now that you know everything, I'm afraid I have to kill you. No hard feelings," he said, before firing the gun. The bullet shot forward at an unnatural speed, before piercing Maria right in the throat. She released a gargled scream, before collapsing. Within seconds, her body dissolved completely, leaving behind a magnificent bracelet, pure gold and inlaid with jewels, with the centerpiece being one with the image of a tongue on it.

Willie smiled in satisfaction as he dismissed the gun and walked over to the bracelet, but stopped short of picking it up. "I know you're there, clone. Come out now," he said, before turning around. There, standing behind him, was the quivering figure of Dimentio, his ever present grin gone. "You pathetic piece of crap. How could you let a measly Sue like that overtake your defenses!" he shouted, causing Dimentio to draw back in fear.

"She caught me off guard. Please, spare me!" Dimentio pleaded, his eyes quivering with fright.

"Don't plead to me, plead to your master," Willie replied, before he heard a strange sound behind him. It sounded like the universe folding in on itself, and then unfolding. He grinned at the sound. "Looks like the time to plead is now. Better make it good," he said, before stepping to the side to reveal a familiar darkly colored jester.

"Well now, what do you have to say for yourself?" the second Dimentio asked, his voice distorting after ever word.

"I, I don't know. She surprised me, entering the fandom before I could realize and casting her lure. I couldn't do anything about it!" the first Dimentio whined, hoping that his master would take pity. He got the answer to that seconds later, as his body was obliterated by a starburst of magic.

"That is the price for failure," the second, and original, Dimentio said, before sighing. "I need to start making these clones more durable, that one went down like a house of cards before a mighty wind!" he said, before turning to Willie. "I'm guessing you were successful," he continued, before his grin widened as Willie picked up the Bracelet and handed it to him.

"Here you go. One step closer to the plans completion," Willie said, his Suergy aura vanishing into the seal as he spoke, leaving him looking completely normal once more.

"Yes. We'll begin looking for the next treasure as soon as I return. Keep up the good work, my little assassin. And here, a present from me to you," he said, before waving his hand. In an instant, the glove reappeared on Willie's hand, and the blood vanished from his clothes. "Can't have the Society figuring out who you are while we need their dimensional access. I've also refreshed the anti-snag enchantments on the glove," he continued, the distorted voice ringing with glee.

"Thank you, Master. I'll be awaiting news on the next artifact," he said, before bowing, and repeating the ceremony he had done when leaving the Library, leaving Dimentio alone in the quickly fading bridal suite.

"It's so hard to find good help these days," Dimentio sighed. "Ah well, clones are clones. It will be a shame when I have to kill Willie. Trained assassins are hard to find, but I can't have any Sues clogging my perfect worlds," he muttered, before vanishing as well, leaving his home fandom behind to heal.