Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Insert Generic Cliches Here

It was raining that afternoon. There was only one person in the reading room. A brown-skinned ex-tech fiddled with a little gadget and sighed. The fact that she had nothing to blow up made her really bored.
It had only been a week since she left the labs and volunteered to become an actual agent. She sat in a corner of the reading room, in right hand, a soldering iron. On the table was a gold bracelet. "Done."

Her black hair, usually in a long messy ponytail, was still as messy as before; her clothes were a bit wrinkled, but presentable. She wore a stereotype scientist's clothing: a white lab coat, collared shirt, and pants. She even had a necktie to match. Dark protective goggles hung on her neck.

"New here, huh?" Suddenly, a voice from behind startled her. She turned around and saw a tall boy, at least two years older than her. He has short brown hair, all-white clothing and a fancy-looking sword. She noticed the kanji on his forehead, but didn't knew what it meant.. "Hi there. Name's Willie." He extended his hand, as a welcoming gesture

"I came here about a week ago." She spoke calmly and wrung his hand. "I'm Camille, nice meeting you... is it Wally? I'm never good with names."

This made him laugh. "It's Willie." He then looked at the bracelet with a surprised look on his face. It was one of the bracelets of Rama.

"Where did you get that?" His voice had a shocked tone in it.

She smiled, and picked up the bracelet. "Oh this little trinket? I made it."

"You made it? But..." He trailed off. That time he was not just surprised, but confused as well. "That's a powerful ancient artifact! You..."

Her smile widened even more. She pressed a little gem, and it beeped a bit, a thing ordinary bracelets can't do. "It's a very convincing fraud, isn't it? I have no idea what to do with it though. Maybe I can turn this to some sort of a trap... or something. Hmm?" She looked at Willie, hand on her chin and eyebrows raised.

Suddenly, there was something suspiciously evil about her eyes. "You know about the Artifacts, hmm? Tell me, are you after them?"

Seeing the look on her face, Willie tried to make an excuse, and scratched the back of his head. "Well... I ..."

Then, a certain came walking from the door. It was a boy in black who wore wire-frame glasses, which, in turn, were covered by clip-on shades. He had black hair, and some traces of a goatee. He's known as Marcus Pate. Willie slipped away unnoticed, before she could ask her any more questions. There's something about the girl that gave him the slight creeps.

"Camille, can I talk with you for a while?" Marcus asked.

"Yes, sir."

"It's about your Sue friend." He was referring to Heather Amanda Kira Fireheart Illumina Starbright Angelus, more known as Kira Starbright. The two had a pretty serious brawl on her first mission in the Kids Next Door fandom. The young scientist triumphed, unfortunately though, the Sue escaped. Marcus smiled at her and spoke. "We found her.."

"Excuse me, sir, but how did you find out?" She asked, staring at Marcus. She has this tendency to stare at people.

"She turned some guy blue, and then, the detector went on a fritz. We really had no idea how though." Marcus explained "Fives minutes later, we tracked the signal, and found out that she's in The Sgt. Keroro fandom."

"Thank you. I'll go as soon as I can."

"Sure, no problem. Now, if anyone needs me, I'll be with Tash." He waved at her, then left. That was when she realized that Willie was gone as well.

She chuckled evilly. "I'll interrogate him later."


When it was already time to go, Camille was carrying a black umbrella. Most of the people there had no idea what it was for. As soon as she jumped into the plothole, she soon found herself, face first on the floor. It was night.

"I should really work on the landing." She whined, rubbing her forehead. She looked behind to see surgical equipment. Doyle would surely like this place. She thought to herself. He always liked scalpels, ever since she first built him. Maybe he could come with her. She took out her portal gun and jumped back in.

In her laboratory, she found a boy with short black hair and nineteenth-century clothing. It was Doyle, her left-handed assistant. He looked up and smiled at his 'Boss', as he sometimes calls her. She extended her hand and grinned. "Hey Doyle."

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Come with me."

"Yes ma'am." He took her hand and entered the portal. Landing, for Camille, was much easier with a companion. At the very moment they set foot on the operating room, Doyle flinched, a reaction he usually did when excited. Only he knew why he had that mannerism.

All of a sudden, they heard voices. Three, in fact. A boy and two girls. The boy immediately recognized the voices. "Hinata Fuyuki, Nishizawa Momoka and the target, Miss Kira Starbright." Apparently, they were on a ghost hunting trip.

She was amazed as well as pleased. It may be mere coincidence that the scientist landed here on this very hospital, but she had to take advantage of it. An idea suddenly popped in her head. "Doyle, I have an idea." She whispered it to his ear.

"I will do it."


Four hours fruitless wandering later, and the trio were already tired. Momoka was now a bit contented, and Fuyuki's flashlight just ran out of batteries. The only light they had was from Kira's 'glow', as well as the unreliable moonlight. And they thought they were going to see some ghosts that night. "Let's go home." The occult-lover announced.

Then, they heard a loud scary moaning sound. It came from one of the operating rooms. Suddenly, he was ecstatic. "Let's check it out." Even if the noise was spine-tingling, he wanted to see if it really was a ghost. He grabbed the rich girl by the hand (who felt really happy at that time) and walked towards it with increasing speed. Kira was in behind the two, watchful.

But when they came there, there was nothing. It was like an ordinary operating room, with the exception of the occasional red stains on the walls. And as expected, Fuyuki's full attention was on the mysterious marks. The bipolar girl was right beside him. The ex-techie chucked to herself. It was all going according to plan.

Kira was quietly inspecting the operating table and the unused equipment. An all of a sudden, from beside the table, an arm grabbed the Sue by the leg and latched something on it. She screamed.

"What's going on?" Fuyuki looked around in the darkness, unable to see. Momoka grabbed onto his arm as tightly as she could. "I'm scared..." She whispered, but to tell you the truth, she was very much pleased to be scared at all. The Inner Momoka beamed proudly in her triumph. They saw Kira looking down in horror.

"Who are you?" They asked simultaneously; they can't recognize her anymore.

The Sue stuttered much to her horror, her powers being drained by the second. "A prohibitor?"

"Yes." Camille crawled out of the table and stood with a smug look on her face. This startled the two Canons. "I know for a fact that I can't win against you, so I sent I hid under the table. Yes, I'm a jerk. And when you're busy distracted, I cuffed your leg. The moaning you heard was Doyle, my partner." He came out of the shadows, his expression, blank like usual.

She took out a smaller-than-standard-issue portal gun and opened a portal behind them. She grinned at the Sue, as well as the now-confused Fuyuki Hinata. "This is goodbye, then."

Doyle held Kira in a death grip an pushed her towards it. "Heather Amanda Kira Fireheart Illumina Starbright Angelus, you're under arrest for multiple counts of Canon alteration, as well as for escaping prison. You'll pay for turning Kururu blue..."

And they jumped to the plothole.


That night, while everyone's either gone or asleep, Adrian made his way around the Library, walking towards his cookies' hiding place. As he was about to sneak his new stash of cookies behind a secret compartment, he heard a voice. From one of the adjacent rooms, he heard the scientist talking to her assistant.

"That was really fun, don't you think, Doyle?" Camille grinned.

"I think it was really amusing, the look on her face when you grabbed her." Doyle replied and handed her a screwdriver. His face was still as emotionless as ever.

"Amusing, huh? I thought it was just hilarious." She laughed even more. Then, she saw the strange look on his face. "Doyle?"

He was staring to the wall. "It was a bit strange, though."

"What is?"

"The fact that she screamed." He picked up a little screw from the ground. "Weren't Mary Sues supposed to be impossibly courageous?"

"Now that you mention it..." She was in 'thinking mode' again. "It was weird... as if she was actually afraid of something..."

A Sue, afraid? Could it be that...? No way. The chances are slim to none.

It's practically impossible...

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Insert Sparkling Shipmates Here

The crowd on the docks seemed to hold their breath as Willowe Diamond Sparkle Ravenne Hyacinth Aurelia Heliotrope Dewdrop Arwennia Delilah Aphrodite Bob Foxblade the Third stepped gracefully aboard the waiting ship, her mass of auburn hair somehow managing to stay only mildly-unkempt in the stiff breeze blowing straight from the English Channel. She held out her slim, ivory hand to a waiting porter and he nearly fell into the water with gratitude – the honour! To help such a wonderful specimen of human life aboard the magnificent Titanic!

However, he wasn't to know that she was beyond the realms of normal speculation – barely human in the slightest (and hardly exactly wonderful either, though nobody was to know that quite yet).

From the deck above, Edward Cullen watched, awestruck. He put it quickly from his mind that he was supposed to be only eleven years old at this point, and definitely not in Southampton, England. After all, he wasn't to know about the several invisible but highly dangerous plotholes that had just popped into existence aboard the ship. He brushed his ice cold hand against the railing of the ship and stared at the new arrival in amazed wonder. She couldn't be…?

It seemed like only a second before Willowe was beside him on deck, his topaz eyes captivated by her glowing crimson orbs.

"You have been waiting a long time," she murmured, her voice more gentle than that breeze blowing in off the English Channel (which really wasn't gentle at all, but still managed to keep her hair in the perfect state of almost-messy-but-still-elegant that was her speciality). "And so have I."

"What have you been waiting for?" Edward countered, while doing the thing with his voice that made it sound like velvet, conveniently ignoring his mind reading abilities for the sake of the story.

"I've been searching far and wide for someone to show me the way… the way to be good." Willowe managed to produce a tear. "After my parents were brutally murdered by the Volturi, I was turned by Aro himself, but I don't want to be that way… I want to be a Cullen."

Edward was speechless. "I… I mean… but… how… Why did the Volturi change you?"

Willowe sighed again, the breeze doing a swift switcharound to blow her mouth-watering scent towards Edward, leaving him almost powerless. "I have abilities they wanted so very much. Abilities I don't think I can speak of here…"

She decided not to mention that that power happened to be the ability to warp any world she happened to land in throughout the whole of fiction. Come on, that would seriously spoil her fun. And how she was having fun.

"You have been waiting for so long, Edward," she breathed. "You have been waiting for a great love, like Jasper and Alice, or Emmett and Ashley…"

"I thought Emmett was with Rosalie?" Edward shook his head suddenly, trying to clear the image of those crimson eyes from his mind. "And hang on… I'm sure I've heard somewhere miraculously not-related-to-my-life that you have a sister called Ashley… and isn't she ten?"

"Oh, they're not together together," Willowe patted Edward's arm reassuringly as the ship began to pull out of the harbour. "Emmett imprinted on her. Rosalie understands."

"But… Emmett's not a werewolf… or shapeshifter, or whatever they're calling themselves these days…" Edward screwed up his face in pain. How was this girl enchanting him so? Parts of his mind were trying to convince him that Emmett hadn't even been born yet, that he hadn't even heard of the Cullens... After all, wasn't it 1912?

"Never mind that train of thought, they are having a party in steerage and I think we should go and dance," Willowe tugged on Edward's arm and started to direct him down the stairs, knowing that her superior dancing skills would impress him no end, especially coupled with the thrillingly slutty green lacy dress she'd somehow put on somewhere between the harbour and the Irish dancing party. It would also stop this nasty ring of thought in his head from spinning on further – it was vital that he didn't realise the enormous inaccuracies in their situation. For example, it had suddenly become night on the Titanic, and Edward couldn't be sure but he had a feeling several days had passed. When had that happened?


Edward looked up, his sharp ears picking up a lone voice among the cheerful rabble and bouncy music. Willowe grabbed him and spun him around, trying to keep his attention firmly on her.

"Watch this Edward – I was trained in ballet, you know!" she simpered, started to rise up onto pointes very slowly, ignoring a fellow redhead-in-a-green-dress on the other side of the room attempting a similar feat.
"Never mind that, get out of the way!"

Now, Edward was sure that in all his years as a vampire, he'd never seen a figure quite like this one before…

"Stop that right away, Edward Cullen!" the girl growled, shaking her long, somewhat frizzy side fringe out of her face. "You can't think about 'all your years' as a vampire, you've never even met one yet! Whoever's writing this crap has chucked you into the completely wrong time period and they've mixed you up with god knows what! You'll be bursting into 'I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts' in the halls of Hogwarts next!"

"I'm confused…" said Edward. The girl, who seemed to be wearing a tight t-shirt with 'Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society' printed across the front, sighed impatiently.

"See, you're confused, and I'm sure I heard you stuttering before – completely out of character. And it's all her fault!" She pointed dramatically to Willowe, who was in the process of slowly backing out of the room.

"Oh, why do you lot always have to turn up and spoil my fun?" she groaned, suddenly not seeming quite so fantastic to Edward. In fact, Edward was starting to remember where he was supposed to be – somewhere almost one hundred years in the future.

"Edward, unless you're hiding Emmett under that table I think you should go through that plothole back there…" the ACMSES girl turned around to reveal the word 'ROOKIE' printed in big letters on the back of her shirt while pointing to the plothole she had fallen through. "If you do happen to be concealing Emmett on you anywhere, you're not leaving until I've taken him. I'm Jess, by the way…"

"I believe I will be leaving now," Edward shook the girl by the hand, a little bit scared for his brother… the traditional self-inserts were bad enough, but this one looked a bit violently inclined. "I seem to remember I have a wife and daughter to look after… just one question." He fixed his glare on Jess, who failed to blush, preferring to glare back. "How on earth did I end up on the Titanic?"

Jess shrugged. "These badfics work in mysterious ways… you'd have to ask this one." She reached over and lazily grabbed a hank of Willowe's hair, stopping her from moving at any speed. Somehow, the Irish were still dancing away happily. Jess, not exactly innocent when it came to the demon drink, felt she could draw comparisons to weird events on a student night at university: if it wasn't happening to you, the vodka was more important. "Off you go, Eddie, I'll finish things up here."

"Please don't call me that," he visibly grimaced, and then sped to the plothole, quickly vanishing.

"Now, as for you… I can't believe after all this time you let yourself get caught by a newbie. I'm not letting you go now." Jess turned to stare Willowe in her eerily red eyes. "…Hang on. I haven't been a member of the Society very long, but I swear none of them ever mentioned that you're a vampire. When did this happen?"

"Oh, it was just part of the plan…" Willowe shrugged. "They're contacts."

Suddenly, there was chaos – at least for Jess. Willowe was poking around in her own eye, trying to pull out the contact lens to make her point.

"Oh my god… eyeballs!" Jess let go of Willowe's hair and buried her face in her hands, unable to stand the sight of someone touching their own eye.

"Wow… they're really losing their touch," Willowe smiled to herself, gliding swiftly over to the nearest plothole and leaping through, accompanied by a cheer from several drunken Irishmen who had the notion she was performing a complicated dance move.

"Jess!" A tall blonde girl came hurtling out of the plothole and grabbed Jess by the wrist. "I was just coming to give you some backup and I swear that was Willowe Diamond Sparkle Ravenne Hyacinth Aurelia Heliotrope Dewdrop Arwennia Delilah Aphrodite Bob Foxblade the Third coming past me!"

"It was… terrible, Tash…" Jess whispered hoarsely.

"I know, I shouldn't have sent you out alone on your first try…" Tash patted Jess reassuringly. "She's evaded the best of us. How did she get past you?"

"She… she took her contacts out."

Tash sighed, and drew herself up to her full (considerable) height. "And so Willowe Diamond Sparkle Ravenne Hyacinth Aurelia Heliotrope Dewdrop Arwennia Delilah Aphrodite Bob Foxblade the Third escapes again… One day the Society will prevail. One day…"

"Oh, stop getting all literary, Tash." Well, Jess had certainly recovered from her trauma. "This boat isn't going to sink for a while yet – let's join the party!"

With a strangely inarticulate squeal, Jess threw herself head first into a posse of partying Irishmen.

Tash sighed. "Rookies." …and threw herself in behind her.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Insert Aimless Gunshots Here

Inside Adrian's, AKA Master of the Library's, Library Arcanium, an author dropped out of a portal. Slightly shorter than the 5'10" Tash, he seemed dressed for leisure in sweatpants and a t-shirt. Rimless glasses adorned his face, which had beard stubble on it like he had trimmed it earlier. He paused when the sound of Tash calling out for Adrian in a falsely cheerful voice, wondering what Adrian had done to earn him that. Reporting to Tash in that mood made him shudder, but he knew that he had to report. After all, his character had told him Tash might not be happy with him either because he had sent his character in his place to confront a Sue and Stu couple. Knowing that delaying the inevitable would only make it worse, he lazily strode towards Tash's voice.

She apparently heard his approach when he knew he was getting closer, because she cheerfully sung, "Is that you, Adrian? I have something I want to say to you!"

Sighing in worry, this author replied, "It's me, Tash. I only just returned."

"Really, you're back now, "Her voice when from cheerful to sinister as she turned the corner to face him. "Care to tell me what you've been doing while you were away, Kyle?"

Kyle held up his left hand in a forstalling gesture while seemingly putting his right hand through some invisible hole off to his side. When he pulled his hand out, he held a perfectly smooth and seamless sphere about the size of his fist. Holding it up for Tash to look at, he stated, "This is what I've been working on. The Realitium metal I needed to make this is deceptively hard to come by in adequate amounts. However, since it is one of the few materials that a Mary Sue cannot damage, it's perfect for weapons and armor to fight them. With this in my hands, I'll be able to fight effectively against Mary Sues and Gary Stus."

Tash looked at him with major disappointment in her eyes as she said, "Really, a sphere. You spent all that time finding Realitium metal and you used it to make a sphere. Why didn't you make yourself a nice Rapier with that much Realitium?"

Kyle smiled as he spoke, "Because I got lucky and found a load of it between the worlds of Lucky Star and Comic Party. With the combined amount of realism between the two, there was plenty of Realitium to gather. I was able to condense all of it into this sphere and have worked it into an Omni-weapon for my personal use. Any weapon I need, it'll change into. Within limitations, of course."

Tash blinked in surprise, that would be a lot of Realitium. Smiling a bit devilishly, she said, "So, it's complete, is it?"

Kyle nodded, "It has its limitations, but I designed it like that. Also, by using both my genetic code and vital signs, I'm the only person who can use this unless I reset the parameters it checks."

Tash was still smiling as she leaned closer to him and stated, "Well then, you get to test it out on a mission. I'll find you a mission, right this instant!"

She rushed off towards her desk, while Kyle was left in the dust to contemplate what he was in for.


The busty, blonde gunner, Rushuna Tendo; calm and fierce swordsman, Yajirou Kojima; and inventive, smart-alecky child balloon-maker, Mikan Kurenai were in some of the biggest trouble in the whole time they've been travelling together. After all, this is the first time that they've had an army on their tail. They don't even know why they're being chased by an army other than the fact that, for some reason, they had a bounty for their capture on their heads in this forested region. Whoever ordered this bounty had a scary amount of information on them also; the details were very precise.

It was while they had stopped for a breather that Kyle presented himself to them. No longer dressed for leisure, he wore a form-fitting and concealing ninjutsu practitioner's garb similar to many he has seen in works of fiction. It looked a little out of place on him because of his glasses and stubble. Yajirou and Mikan were suspicious of him, but he held up his hands in a "intending no harm" gesture. That's when he told them.

"I have need of your assistance. This region is being used as a starting point for a powerful demon to eventually take over the world."

Rushuna's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates in an instant. She took a step back and whispered, "A demon?"

Kyle nodded, "That's right. This kind of demon has two names, depending on whether it's male or female. If it's male, it's called a Gary Stu... if it's female, it's called a Mary Sue. Also, they are hard to deal with because of their overall power and ability. They are almost always human in appearance with exceedingly long names and hideous beauty."

Yajirou gaped at this statement before fumbling for something in his pocket, pulling out a poster of himself, Rushuna and Mikan. Beside the local lord's official seal was a very long name, Amanda Beatrice Connie Deniece Emily Fantasia Gertrude Holly Isabella Jacky Kali Lisa Marrion Nelly Ophelia Patty Quinn Rosa Silvia Terry Urd Valerie Wendy Xena Yvette Zerlina. For whatever reason, the characters had never given that excessively long name a second thought, but if it was truly a demon at work then they have to stop it.
Rushuna looked kind of sad as she ask, "Can't we talk to it and get it to stop?"

Kyle gave a sigh like he was sad too before he answered, "I wish that was an option, but they won't listen. They can't be bargained with nor will they listen to reason. Believing that they are perfect, they'll do anything to reinforce that belief... even if it means corrupting entire worlds to do it."

Mikan scowled at Kyle as she asked in confirmation, "So basically, we're dealing with a perfection obsessed psycho with incredible fighting ability and hideous beauty that will not listen to anything we say and will corrupt any world to prove their perfection? Any other bad news for you to tell us?"

Kyle's head seemed to sink a bit as he replied, "Now that you mention it, I can think of a few more things that might go wrong."

No one had time to ask as the army that's chasing them started to get louder in the background. Motioning for everyone to follow him, Kyle turned and said, "I'll tell you later, but right now, I'd rather not have to fight off an army."

Rushuna, Yajirou and Mikan didn't need to be told twice as everyone started running away from the approaching voices. It would take no stretch of the imagination to say that everyone had didn't wish to be captured so, as they were running, they were doing their best to lay traps in their wake. Well, Mikan and Kyle were able to lay traps without slowing down and Kyle told Rushuna and Yajirou not to slow or stop for any reason.

Unfortunately, one thing made them stop and that was a sheer cliff, dropping directly below into another section of forest. Kyle seemed to sink into his own thoughts as his current companions were debating which way they went. Well, Mikan and Yajirou were debating while Rushuna was trying to calm them down. It was after a few minutes of this debate that they could hear distinct voices for the approaching army. Seeming to make up his mind about whatever he was thinking of, Kyle strode over and then grabbed Yajirou, slinging him over his shoulder. Ignoring Yajirou's protests, he gave Rushuna a look and then leaped off the cliff. Rushuna got the hint, grabbing Mikan and jumping after Kyle.

Amanda Beatrice Connie Deniece Emily Fantasia Gertrude Holly Isabella Jacky Kali Lisa Marrion Nelly Ophelia Patty Quinn Rosa Silvia Terry Urd Valerie Wendy Xena Yvette Zerlina was not in a good mood. The black-as-night haired, sparkling black kimono wearing beauty had been using her incredible Mary Sue clairvoyance to follow Rushuna and her group. When Amanda first came to this world, she knew that the main characters had to no longer be threats to her plans and she had two plans to accomplish this. First plan would be to capture the main characters and bring them over to her side, while the second, if her first one failed, would be to simply kill them off.

However, shortly before Kyle met up with Rushuna and the others, Kyle had apparently created a barrier that prevented the Mary Sue Clairvoyance from scrying them. Now knowing that an Author had come to get her, Amanda was setting plan after plan to keep herself in power.

"Shut your blabbering mouth, Mr. Narrator! Just because you know what's happening doesn't mean that everyone else needs to!"

Wait...What? You can hear me?

"Of course I can hear you! I'm a Mary Sue, dang it! I can do whatever the heck I want! And right now, I'm going to ban you from narrating on me! So get lost!"


Well, that was a first. Whatever, now back to Rushuna and the gang. Yajirou was trying to give Kyle a piece of his mind for that stunt he just pulled. Mikan was exclaiming to Rushuna that the jump was an amazing rush. Pulling out a strange device, Kyle held it up in the air for a moment and then lowered it to look at something on it. Rushuna came up to him after getting both Mikan and Yajirou to calm down and asked him what that device was.

"Mary Sues and Gary Stus warp the very fabric of canon reality around them to fulfill their twisted desires. This device was recently created, by a group that I work for, to portably track that warp. I think the developer had called it the Canon Disruption Tracker. Of course, it's still in the prototype stage so there's not a lot it can do, but it will be enough to make our way to where the Mary Sue is residing."

Mikan once again scowled as she bit out, "So tell us in what direction that Tracker is pointing already!"

Instead of answering or pointing, Kyle started walking in the indicated direction. Deciding that following him is better than staying there, they follow after him.

After traveling for several hours, they final came upon the Local Lord's manor. Right in front of the door was Amanda, with her sparkling black kimono and black-as-night hair, apparently waiting for them.

"I thought I told you to stop that Mr. Narrator! I thought I had banned you from narrating on me!"

Well, an Author presence naturally overwrites any ban created by a Mary Sue or Gary Stu. So I am free to narrate on anyone present now. But that doesn't matter right now. Kyle was getting impatient so he rushed at Amanda. All of a sudden, from behind Rushuna and her friends, came the click of hundreds of guns. Turning around to face the direction the sound came from, Rushuna, Yajirou and Mikan found themselves face to face with the army they had thought they had escaped from.

Amanda was smiling as Kyle came to a halt while turning towards the army.

"How do you plan on countering this? I may not have been able to affect Rushuna and her friends with my powers before you stepped in, but I'm a Mary Sue so I have powers to spare. After you left my little army at the top of that cliff, I merely used my power to teleport them here so they could ambush you. But wait, there's more..."

With a wave of her hand, all of the guns the men in her army had changed into something Rushuna, Yajirou, and Mikan were very familiar with. Living guns made out of green metal that can carve through solid rock with a blast of compressed air; Flash of a Demon. Kyle put his hands together, as if in prayer.

Amanda started gloating, "What are you doing? Praying for a Higher Power to save you? That won't work, not while I'm in control of this situation!"

She laughed; a spine tingling, sinister laughter. Without end, she laughed and laughed. That is, until she noticed a glowing circle beginning to surround Kyle. Then it hit her, he wasn't praying for a deity to save him, he had been casting a spell!

With the glowing circle completely surrounding him, he shouted, "I call you forth from your war-torn world, my homunculi characters! Desolation, Arsenal, Paradigm... Guard my allies!"

Rushuna and her friends were engulfed in a burst of light. Three men were revealed when the light faded, one each standing between a character and the army. The one standing in front of Rushuna wore all black clothes with black hair in sagging spikes. In front of Yajirou stood a man with messy blonde hair and dressed a dark muscle shirt with loose pants. Finally, standing in front of Mikan was a man with the opposite look of the first one, wearing an almost completely white knightish uniform and white hair.

The army didn't seem impressed as they just held their weapons in a ready position, as if they were werely waiting for the signal to fire. Amanda scoffed at Kyle's attempt to protect the main characters and then simply said, "Fire."

Fire they did, each and every man in the army shot off their Flash of a Demon weapons. As the blasts headed towards the main characters, the summoned men said to them in unison, "Stay behind us."

The black wearing one held up his hands and then the air in front of him began to ripple and warp. Every blast that got close to him simply dissappated. Yajirou's defender merely stood his ground with Yajirou himself fearful for both his safety and the man's. Each blast that hit the guy did nothing to him, might as well have been a breeze blowing at a Black Oak. As for the last one, he was creating a barrier apparently made out of some kind of energy to defend Mikan. The blasts had as much effect on his barrier as they did on the one that stood his ground.

Amanda stood with her mouth agape as her army was effortlessly prevented from harming the main characters by three people with apparently supernatural powers. Shaking her head to clear it, she reached her hands into her kimono sleeves and pulled out two tanto knives and charged Kyle, who hadn't moved since the summoning. With deft reflexes, Kyle reached into the same invisible hole from before and brought out his Omni-weapon sphere. Amanda's tanto clanged against a katana blade that sprouted from the sphere. Out of the opposite side of the sphere sprouted a Japanese style hilt that Kyle grasped so he could use his weapon as intended.

"Now I get to test out my Omni-weapon. Don't bother trying to break it, it's made out of Realitium."
Amanda scowled something fierce as she used her Sue powers to turn her tanto into a pair of Nodachi. Of course, since she was a Mary Sue, it was easy for her to wield a Nodachi in each hand. All Kyle did in response was to increase the length of his hilt so he'd have more room to grip. Both took a combat stance as they seemed to gauge each other. Then suddenly, they seemed to blur out of existence with only the clanging of metal on metal to indicate their clash. Each clang was accompanied by a powerful shockwave as every blow forcefully made a sonic boom.

More and more, the clangs and shockwaves came. The main characters were trying to watch this engagement while their defenders held off the army. Mikan wasn't able to follow the battle, while Yajirou could just manage to see their blurs and Rushuna saw them move at speeds she herself could move if she pushed herself. All of a sudden, after several minutes of fighting, a powerful clang rang out and the sound of metal breaking was heard. Reappearing in front of the mansion, Amanda clutched her two broken Nodachi as she fell to her knees.

In an instant, Kyle appeared next to her and slapped a Prohibitor on her wrist. Everything vanished; the mansion, the army, and the main characters. Other than the forest itself, all that was left was Amanda, Kyle and the characters he summoned.


Kyle had given Amanda to the society as he got ready to send his characters home. Tash, however, wanted an explanation for why they were there and how they were so strong.

"It's like this, Tash. They come from a completely made up world that's always at war. This world has three main countries in this war and each of these countries made one Super-soldier Homunculus. In this case, a Homunculus is what they call an artificial human."

Tash frowned and then asked, "And this is supposed to mean something to me?"

Sighing a bit, Kyle continued, "In this world, there are three basic entities; Humans, Golems, and Homunculi. What seperates them is stated in this saying, 'The Mind thinks, the Heart feels, the Soul lives'. Humans in that world have Mind, Heart, and Soul. Golems don't have any of those. Homunculi on the other hand, only have Mind and Heart. They can think and they can feel, but they can't live."

Tash seemed confused by that, "Wait, can't live? They look alive to me."

Kyle shook his head, "They are alive, but they can't live. Simply put, Soul in this world is the ability to express life."

She seemed to consider this until she said, "This is all fascinating, but it doesn't really explain why they're so powerful."

"That's the easy part. I said that they were Super-soldiers, "Kyle pointed to each in turn, starting with the one dressed in black. "Desolation was given the ability to generate and control resonance. Arsenal can create just about any weapon he wants short of a Weapon of Mass Destruction from material he stores in his own body. Paradigm here holds the power to make just about any kind of barrier or energy field he wants. Thing is, when I first thought of them, I didn't really understand how powerful their abilities were."

He said that last part with a embarrassed expression. Turning to his creations, he performed the same technique he used to summon them and returned them home. At that instance, his stomach growled at him. Looking down at his his belly, he let out an embarrassed chuckle and said to Tash, "I forgot that the Accelerator ability from Wild Arms affects metabolism. I'm going to raid Adrian's food stocks, so if you need me in a bit, you'll know where to find me for about an hour-ish."

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Insert Obnoxiously Strong Card Here

As Adrian walked down the corridors of the Library, his head was full of thoughts. Even as he thought about it, Blake, his comrade-in-arms and good friend, was building a deck that had to be good enough to beat a Gary-Stu, Flame the Hedgehog, if the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society wanted to continue to remain in business. He would be lucky, since as the Librarian, he would still have purpose, but the others had only one purpose: to hunt down and eliminate Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus. What would become of them?

However, just as he was about to ponder this further, he heard a sound that wasn't often heard in the Library. That was sound was the ruffling of pages in a book. He quickly turned, and saw that he was in a room full of tables, and there, sitting at one with an open book, was Willie! "Willie!" Adrian shouted! Willie turned, and grinned.

"Oh, hey Adrian! I didn't see you there. I was just engrossed in this book," Willie said. As he was talking, Adrian walked over to the table and took a look at the book that Willie was reading. The spine read ARTIFACTS OF TIMES PAST.

"I can see that. Anyway, I didn't picture you as the type that was interested in reading, let alone ancient history," Adrian said grinning, making Willie grin as well.

"Yeah, well I remembered hearing that heroes aren't as studious as they should be, so I decided to prove them wrong. Besides, my sword is an ancient artifact, so I decided to try to find out more about it. I didn't find anything, but I did find something interesting. Check it out," Willie said, before motioning for Adrian to come closer. He did, and then took a look at the inside of the book. The page that Willie was on had a full-page picture showing five objects. There was a sword, two bracelets, a necklace and a ring, all of them with a yellow aura around them. The caption at the top of the page read THE ARTIFACTS OF RAMA.

"'The Artifacts of Rama'?" Adrian said, clearly confused, which was odd.

"Yeah. They were the mystical weapons of Rama, the great hero of the Hindu epic the Ramayana. The sword was unbeatable in battle and contained unlimited magical powers, one of the bracelets could allow you to communicate with anyone, anytime, anywhere, the necklace could create precious metals and jewels from nothing, the ring could control all of the elements, and the other bracelet controlled them all so that they could be used correctly," Willie said, making Adrian open his mouth in shock.

"Wow! Whoever held them all could rule the entire world! What happened to them?" Adrian asked.

"It says here that upon his ascent to the heavens as Vishnu, he order the artifacts scattered across the worlds, hopefully to be lost forever," Willie said, almost quoting right from the book. It was then that Adrian noticed a black glove on Willie's right hand, covering the whole thing up to the wrist.

"Say, what's that glove for?" Adrian asked, causing Willie's eyes to get a look reminiscent of the look of a trapped animal.

"Uh… Back home a villain cut off my hand and I replaced it with a hand of solid metal. This glove was to cover it up so I didn't freak the locals, and I kinda grew attached to it. Anyway, I have to go. Tash told me about a Mary-Sue in the Yu-Gi-Oh! GX fandom a little while ago and I'd better go fix it now before she kills me," Willie said before getting up and walking out of the room.

"Hmm… Maybe it's just me, but something doesn't seem right about that boy. Ah well," Adrian said before shrugging and returning to walking around the Library.


It was night in the Yu-Gi-Oh! GX fandom, and on this night, a tall figure was walking along the Duel Academy coast. Hikaru Umi Fuu Sakura Naru Ceres Juno Vesta Pallas Nehellenia's rise to fame was her defeating Duel Academy Duelist Supreme Jaden Yuki on her first turn using only a single card, a secret card called Armageddon which removes from play every card in the opponent's deck and inflicted damage to the opponent's Life Points equal to the combined attack points of every monster that was removed from play.

Since that time she had become the duelist to beat, taking any challenges, and winning every duel in one turn. She had also found love in the form of Jaden Yuki, whom she had chosen over Zane Trusdale due to the fact that she felt Zane was too stuck up for her. She had an easy time taking him. There was a certain allure in her violet streaked black hair, her bright green eyes, and those red, voluptuous lips that made every man go crazy for her. But now, she was completely at peace, the wind blowing through her hair, the sea breeze on her face, and a satisfied smirk on her lips.

"Jewels for Sale! Get your Jewels for Sale!" a sharp voice rang out, breaking Hikaru's concentration. She turned, and saw a small stand filled with magnificent jewelry. Sitting in the stand was a old woman all bundled up in a black cloak.

"Who are you?" Hikaru asked, a confused look on her face.

"I am just an old woman with a traveling jewelry stand. Now, you look like a beautiful young girl, so I will give you a special deal. One necklace completely free of charge!" the old woman shouted out before reaching into her cloak and pulling out a chocker of pure gold with a bright purple gem at the end.

"Well, it does look great, and I have been wanting a new necklace, okay!" Hikaru said, before taking the necklace from the old woman's hands and put it around her neck.

Just then, there was a huge flash of light, and when it faded, everything but the jewelry shack, the old woman and Hikaru was gray and without motion, and Hikaru had changed greatly. Her hair was short, ray and stiff, her skin was rough, he eyes were bloodshot, her lips were malformed, and her entire body was swollen. Only her arms and legs remained the same, but instead of enhancing her beauty, they added to her grotesque image.

"Huh? What just happened to me? What did you do? Who are you?" she asked, causing the old woman to grin.

"Well, in order, I gave you the newest invention of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society, a Prohibitor mixed in with a Revelation of Truth, which froze canon, removed all of your influence and powers related to this world, and I am…" the woman said in an increasingly masculine voice, right before leaping up and tossing aside her cloak to reveal Willie! "…Willie of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society, here to take you down!" As soon as Willie's speech was finished, Hikaru grinned.

"Wow. I didn't expect a Society member to resort to such a dirty trick. I kind of respect that. So, are you going to take me away?" Hikaru asked, prompting a grin from Willie.

"No, not really. I have an offer to make you. Since we're here in this fandom, how about a duel? If I win, you come with me, but if you win, I'll let you go and never bother you again for the rest of my life. So, what do you say?" Willie asked, prompting a grin from Hikaru.

"Alright. I'll duel you, but what about a deck?" Hikaru asked, right before she felt a sudden weight on her left arm. She looked, and saw a Duel Disk with a deck already inside of it! "Huh? What just…" she asked before Willie cut her off.

"I just gave you a Duel Disk and a deck so that we could duel now and not waste time. So draw, and I will be with you in a moment," Willie said, right before taking a Duel Disk out of nowhere, putting it on, slipping a deck into it, and activating it. "Alright, I'm ready," he said.

"And so am I. So let's duel!" Hikaru shouted right before she and Willie drew their hands.

-(Willie: 8000)-(Hikaru:8000)-

"I'll go first," she said, before drawing a sixth card, and looking at her hand. She then gasped. Her hand was not what she had expected, or even would have thought of. She had gotten the worst hand ever! A Dark Magician, three Blue-Eyes White Dragons, a Buster Blader and a Red-Eyes Black Dragon! "What? What is this deck?" she shouted, full of confusion and anger.

"What's wrong, Hikaru? I gave you the greatest and most powerful monsters in the game, and nothing else. I think that you had said before that you valued power above all else," Willie said, smirking.

"Ugh, fine! Make your move!" Hikaru shouted, extremely angry.

"Alright, if you insist," Willie said, still smirking. He then drew a card, and grinned widely. "Well, well, well. Time for your funeral to start! First I play Pot of Greed!" At that Willie threw a card into a slot on his disk, drew two cards and looked them over. "Now, I summon Skilled Dark Magician in attack mode!" At that, Willie tossed a card down, and in a flash of dark magic, the Skilled Dark Magician appeared, brandishing his staff. (Atk: 1900: Def: 1700) "Your move."

Hikaru drew a card, and frowned. "Your move," she said, grimacing.

"Okay, if you say so," Willie said, before drawing, and grinning. "Yes! Now to pull of an OTK pulled off only once! First I play Cost Down, discarding Dark Magician Girl to enact it, and then I play Monster Reborn to bring her back!" Willie shouted before slipping a card into a slot, discarding a card, and setting another card into the slot, bringing back Dark Magician Girl in a flash of light! (Atk:2000: Def: 1700) "Next, I sacrifice Dark Magician Girl to summon Dark Magician of Chaos!" With that, Willie removed the Dark Magician Girl card from the disk, and placed another card in its place, summoning the Dark Magician of Chaos in a flash of black! (Atk: 2800: Def: 2600) "Now, since summoning him allows me to get a Spell Card back from the Graveyard, I reclaim Monster Reborn and use it to reclaim my Dark Magician Girl!" Willie shouted, before taking two cards from the Graveyard and slamming them on the disk, summoning the Dark Magician Girl once more. (Atk:2000: Def:1700) "Now I could summon Dark Magician with my Skilled Dark Magician, but I have a better idea. Now I play Polymerization, fusing my Dark Magician and my Buster Blader to summon Dark Paladin!" At that, Willie flung three cards into the Graveyard, and Dark Paladin appeared in a bright flash of light! (Atk:2900: Def:2400) "Now, finally, I use Skilled Dark Magician's effect to revive Dark Magician!" With that, Willie removed the Skilled Dark Magician from his disk, and then, in a huge flash of energy, Yugi's signature monster appeared! (Atk:2500: Def:2100)

"What? How? That maneuver was a once in a lifetime happening from Yugi and Tea's marriage duel, in the fandom of Yu-Gi-Oh fanfiction! How did you pull it off?" Hikaru shouted out, completely freaked out!
"With a little help from some higher ups. Now, DIE! Monsters, attack!" Willie shouted, right before every single monster on Willie's field attacked Hikaru directly with such force that Hikaru screamed before collapsing in pain.

-(Willie: 8000)-(Hikaru:0000)-

"Alright, Hikaru. Time to go," Willie said before removing his Duel Disk, and walking over to Hikaru. However, just as he got to her, Hikaru leapt upward, clawing at Willie's face! However, Willie took a quick step back, and Hikaru's attack only clawed off Willie's glove.

"Curse you! You beat me, and now I'm going to-" she started to say right before she caught a look at Willie's right hand. There, glowing softly, was a strange symbol. It looked like Sakura's magic circle at first glance, but inside the first part of the circle were the planetary symbols in a circle, and in the center, there were two crescent moons, an inverted yellow Silver Millennium and a regular Dark Moon symbol.

"Wha… huh… You… you… you're…?" Hikaru stammered.

"Yes, Hikaru?" Willie said, grinning wickedly. As soon as Willie said this, Hikaru screamed so loudly that she almost shattered Willie's ears. She then turned and ran, screaming at the top of her lungs. "They always run," Willie said, right before pulling out something that looked like a golden pistol. He looked it over, grinned, aimed it in the direction that Hikaru ran off in, and fired! The bullet leapt out of the gun quick as a flash, and within 2 seconds, that sound of Hikaru screaming filled the air once more, but only for a moment. "Gotta love the D-Pistol. Now, let's see if the lead was right."

With that, Willie put the D-Pistol back into the realm that he had taken it from, and walked in the direction that Hikaru had ran in. After about 5 minutes, he reached the spot where she had to have landed if the shot had hit, gasped, and grinned. There, where Hikaru's body should have been, there was a magnificent sword was lying. Its blade was glowing white in the moonlight, with edges that looked sharp enough to cut through anything. Its hilt was made of solid gold, with jewels inlaid into it and the adventures of Rama worked into it.

"Yes! The Sword of Rama! Finally, it is in deserving hands," Willie said before stepping toward the sword, picking it up, and placing it into the same realm as the D-Pistol. Just then, the tune of Ai No Senshi played out from Willie's pants pocket, and the second it did, Willie reached into his pocket, pulled out a cell phone, flipped it up, and put it to his ear. "Talk to me," Willie said, grinning.

"Did you find it?" a female voice said from the other end of the phone.

"Yeah. I'm sorry I doubted you before. I should have known that you would never send me or anyone else a false lead. Less money and treasure for you. So, anything else before I go?" Willie asked.

"Yes. Hold still," the voice said. Just then, a beam of pure energy shot out of the phone, striking Willie's right hand and forming into another glove, exactly like the one before.

"Thanks for the new glove," Willie said, grinning.

"Anything to keep your secret safe. Now, go back, pretend that you had no choice, wait for my call, and keep things that way that they are. No one can know anything," the voice said.

"Yeah. They already ate up the story with ease, don't want to ruin it. Anyway, anything else?" Willie asked.

"No. Remember, be careful. I will call you soon. Goodbye," the voice said before the call ended. Once it did, Willie put the phone in his pocket, and grinned.

"Well, one down, four to go, the Society trusting me, and no one knows the truth but me and her. My life it going great!" Willie shouted before opening a plothole, jumping into it, and vanishing, leaving nothing but a memory in the land, and darkness in the air to show that he had ever been there.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Insert Outlandish Sound-Bending Skill Here

The entire fire nation had never been as peaceful as it had been since the Fire Lord Zuko had taken over as the throne and all around ruler.

It also helped that Aang, the Avatar, was always around to make sure that any and all fights/disputes were settled, which were very little considering the fact he "Energy Bended" the Bending ability out of Fire Lord Ozai (Or Phoenix King Ozai, they never knew, he kept referring to himself as such) and locked away in jail.

Azula, on the other hand, was a different story. Locked up deep in Boiling Rock didn't make her any less different, even locked away in the Cryo tubes still made her dangerous, it didn't help she lost her frigging mind.

Ah well, until then, peace reigned for the most part.

Zuko was proving more and more each day that he was more than capable of being the Fire Lord, a calm, collected, benevolent king, and with Mai by his side it just made it all the better.

Aang and Katara were currently exploring their new relationship after the long war had been over, and were currently succeeding in both being happy.

Sokka and Suki were… a bit chaotic in their relationship, but regardless, being a Kyoshi warrior, Suki would have the patience she needed to be dating someone like Sokka. Besides… she liked the fact that he was a goof in more than one sense, claiming "That's what makes him unique."

Toph wasn't the kind of person to go looking for a relationship, instead going back to getting her hands (or feet for her matter) dirty and becoming one of the most feared earthbending wrestlers in the Earth Kingdom. She rose to being a star in little to no time at all, her name something of nightmares for her opponents.

Iroh still happily owned the Jasmine Dragon, climbing the ladder of popularity, what with his knowledge of teas, both rare to common, reaching to all forms of customers.

All in all, it was a happy life for almost everything.

THAT was when the bomb was dropped.

"Fire Lord, Fire Lord!" Exclaimed a rather erratic looking Fire Palace Guard, almost tripping as he neared the Fire Lord but ultimately regained himself, saluting quickly. "It's… it's urgent news, someone wishes to see you!"

Zuko frowned. "Did they give you a name?" he asked the guard calmly. He'd been getting rather good at that.

"She didn't say my majesty." He panted. "All I know is… she told me… to tell you… She's an Airbender!"

Silence reigned for the one second in the throne room.

Her name was Juniper Skye Broadband Topaz Veronica Esme Foxblade and at first glance she would never look like an Airbender but… hey, who knew? As Zuko approached, Juniper looked off to the side, finger twisting into her auburn hair nervously.

"So." Zuko said, sounding extremely skeptical as he walked over to the young girl. "You're the girl who claims to be an Airbender."

"Yes, your majesty." She said courteously, curtsying with her Airbender robes as best as she could.

Zuko frowned as he stared at her another moment. "Prove it."

Juniper blinked innocently and nodded her head, her hair bouncing perfectly. She reeled back, and thrusted a hand forward, sending a blast of cold air out, striking a statue of Ozai (what was THAT doing there?) and causing it to fall and crumble into bits of rubble and dust.

She smiled back at Zuko, who blinked at the little spectacle. "Anyone can do that." He mumbled under his breath, "If Sokka can fake fire bending, anyone can fake air bending… Aang!" he shouted into the castle.

A moment later, there sounded like a flap of wind and Aang flew down on his new Wind Rider, landing down beside his new friend.

"What's up, Zuko?" The Avatar asked the Fire Lord.
"This girl claims to be an Airbender," Zuko explained, making the Avatar gasp and recoil, "Do you think you can help her prove it?"

Aang walked over carefully and began to inspect her very slowly, looking her up and down. He couldn't tell, what with all her luscious, flowing hair (Which smelled good, he might add) but there was another thing…

He grabbed her sleeve and forced it up, doing the same to the other one. There were two bright blue arrows pointing outwards on the tops of her hands.

"Whoa." Aang said. "Well… that's convincing…"

"Anyone can paint those on," Zuko snapped angrily, "Have her try something only an Airbender can do."

Juniper sighed and began to spin her hands around in front of her. A ball of air was formed and she hopped on top of it, spinning around with a gleeful smile on her face. Afterwards, she leaped into the air and as she began to descend, she blasted a force of air down, allowing herself to keep herself in the air.

Aang and Zuko watched with dropped jaws.

The small group of heroes were gathered in the throne room as Juniper spun her tail of sadness. Apparently she liked Aang ran away from home, but not because of Aang's reasoning, to not want to become the Airbender, but because of her guardians.

The guardians that had watched over her treated her as their own, and she loved them more than anything. Apparently, according to Monk Gansja, she would be the strongest Airbender to date, besides the Avatar. She was trained almost on a daily basis, to the point of bones breaking.

She didn't like this. No one would.

So, when she couldn't take anymore, she ran away, ironically on the very same night as Aang did. As per usual, she too would get caught in the storm she did. Needing some time to think she managed to bend herself into a large air bubble, had it frozen by the freezing cold rains and allowed herself to think for another 100 years.

Upon having the Avatar wake up, it caused a chain reaction that unfroze her from HER Ice bubble. All was well.

"Wait," Toph said very slowly, "If you were around… why didn't you try to find Aang and any other Airbenders?"

Juniper shrugged. "Amnesia."

And of course, they bought it.

At that moment, the Fire Palace guard from before ran into the room, looking an absolute wreck. "Sir! Sir!" he shouted to Zuko, panting very hard.

"Oh what now?" Zuko sighed, as everyone looked to the panting guard. "Did you find another Avatar?"

"No!" he shouted in horror. "It's… it's worse! It's Azula!

"She's escaped!"

"Oh brother!" Screamed the now completely insane Azula as she walked through the Fire Nation street, people screaming in horror, running away. "Come out, come out, wherever you are!" she shouted, lighting a nearby building on fire with her blue flames.

"Stop right there Azula!" Aang shouted as he dropped down right in front of her. "Either you come peacefully or we make you come!"

Azula shot Aang a rather insane looking grin, tilting her head to the side. "Oh! The Avatar! I was wondering when you were gonna get here." She giggled. "This is gonna be fun!"

"I'm gonna take that as a "We'll make you come with us," Reaction," Sokka said, pulling out Boomerang (which he found, amazingly enough, after the war).

"Heh, I like that reaction," Toph grinned, cracking her knuckles hard. She lifted her foot up and slammed it on the ground, causing the ground to ripple, and a large 'wave' of earth shot forward towards the insane Fire Princess.

Azula didn't need to do much, she lifted her right hand and her index and middle fingers, shooting off an impressive ball of fire, that completely decimated the wave and she blew through it, punching Toph in the cheek with a sneer.

She lost her footing however, when Katara dove down and shot a water whip in her face, knocking her back a second. Aang and Juniper both leapt down and thrusted their fists forward, creating a typhoon strength wind to cause Azula to cringe and try and hold her ground. She didn't last long, and was thrown several feet behind her, tumbling head over heels.

Zuko leapt down and got quickly into a fighting position. However, as Azula had gotten up, Juniper leaped in front of him. "What are you doing?" Zuko snapped. "This is my fight!"

"No way!" Juniper shouted. "I've been useless for far too long! I want to do my fair share!"

Aang smiled. "She's so brave…"

"Oh GAG me," said a rather bored voice from above the burning sky, and all eyes turned as a figure in a straw hat, black robes, mask of tragedy secured against his face, and broad sword in his hands. "You, Juniper something or other, are under arrest by the Anti Cliché and Mary Sue Elimination Society!"

"The who?" Aang asked.

"The what?" Sokka asked.

Juniper glared. "Hey! You're that one guy who tried to take us in back at Card Captor Sakura!"

"That's right!" Michael shouted, "Now either come with me or it's about to get bloody up in here."

Juniper giggled and charged up an air ball in her hands. "Please, I got plenty of power here!" She exclaimed. "So any blood about to be shed is YOURS!" And threw the ball, striking Michael and knocking him down to the ground.

"Kay… ow…" Michael groaned a bit. "Okay! That's it, I was hoping to avoid doing this…" Michael mumbled, pulling out a small, thumbnail sized pill. "A oneshot!"

"A what?" Juniper queried.

"A oneshot! By swallowing this little thing, I can take something unique from this Fandom and use it like my own! So let's pray I don't get boomerang…" And popped the pill into his mouth.

"What's wrong with Boomerang…?" Sokka whimpered a bit, nuzzling Boomerang affectionately.

Michael swallowed the pill, and grinned at Juniper. He stood up and thrusted his hand forward, shooting a massive fireball at the girl, who squeaked and dove to the side.

"Heh, Firebending… I can get use to this." He smirked. "Now then Juniper… I believe I said you were under—"

"MICHAEL DAVID JOHN WASSON!" screamed two very familiar, very ANGRY voices…

He paled hard. "Oh nooo…" he shuddered, eye ticking.

Two people dropped down right in front of him, two people you NEVER wanna anger. Miriku and his girlfriend Claire, who both had a weapon, Miri a long, orange staff and Claire two large blades that traveled up her arms a bit, light blue.

"And just WHAT Do you think you're doing out of bed?" Claire said, narrowing her eyes.

"You need to be sleeping and resting!" his little sister exclaimed to him.

Michael began with, "…um… well… ya see… the thing is…"

"And how exactly did you GET on this mission? Tash would NEVER allow you out in your condition!"

"Forgery is a funny thing…"

Both girls glared down HARD at him and sighed. "You worried us to death…" Miri whispered.

"Yeah." Claire agreed. "We want you to come back to the Society Head Quarters…"

"Um, hi, excuse me?" Juniper reminded the lot of them that she was still there. "I'm still here, and I still wanna plow your boyfriend into the ground…"

"Like hell you will!" Michael shouted, jumping to his feet. "Guys, you can chew me out later, I've got a Sue I need to get rid of." He jumped to his feet.

"Oy!" Claire shouted, "Get back here! You're in big trouble young man!"

Azula, on the other hand, was glaring at the two fighters. Who do they think they are…? She seethed to herself. I'll show them both! And began to charge up a ball of blue flames in her hands, ready to scorch both Michael and Juniper…

When all of a sudden, Miri's staff found itself on her wrists, causing the flames to go out.

"Were you just trying to attack my Michael?" Claire whispered to Azula, an evil gleam in her eye.

"That's signing a death warrant…" Miri said with the same evil gleam.

Michael at this point was wishing he had rested a little while longer before jumping into a battle with one of Willowe's sisters.

The two of them were leaping around buildings with amazing acrobatics (Well, Juniper was, Michael was being a bit more cautious so he wouldn't have more bones broken before this was over) all the while he threw fireballs at the feux-air bender.

Juniper was doing a lot better than Michael, having sustained no damages so was having quite a bit of fun, floating around in the air and throwing air balls at Michael with the strength to crumble the walls to the buildings.

Zuko wasn't pleased, shouting, "She's destroying the town!" he exclaimed in horror. "Someone has to stop her! I'm responsible for these people!"

"No, wait!" Aang shouted, "That man's attacking her, she's just defending herself!" he nodded. "I'm sure she'll help rebuild everything when she's done!"

"Not bloody likely!" Michael exclaimed as he leapt in front of the ground. "She's not really what she seems! She's gonna try and take over the whole fandom if we don't—"

He didn't get much out as a massive air tendril wrapped around his waist and flung him into the air.

"Don't listen to him!" Juniper exclaimed innocently. "He's an assassin, trying to get rid of me!"

"WHAT?" Michael shouted.

"I have to take care of him myself!" She threw Michael down into the cabbage man's cart. What he was doing there and not in Omashu, we'll never know.

"MY CABBAGES!" The man screamed in horror, dropping to his knees as he wept for his lost cabbages. Couldn't he get a break? ONCE?

"Um…. sorry sir… I'll pay for those later…" Michael said, rubbing the back of his head.

"That's what they always say!" he cried and raced off.

Juniper leapt onto a nearby building and began to throw more and more Air balls down at Michael, attempting to flatten him under the pressure, but luckily he was able to dodge and roll out of the way.

Opening his mouth, he released a blast of red flames from his maw up at the fake airbender. She bounded off of the roof, barely missing her but lighting the building on fire. Floating down in front of Michael, she blew him back with a powerful burst of air, and threw him against a nearby building, knocking the air out of his lungs.

"You're out of your league, buddy," Juniper said, as she flicked her hand, and pulled the Prohibitor out of Michael's hand, as he was pulling it out of his back pocket. Throwing it on the ground, she crushed it under the heel of her boot.

"And now, I'm gonna make a little example of those who keep going after me and my siblings…"

She grabbed Michael by the throat, and began to make small motions around his mouth with them. Michael shuddered as the air in his body began to be forced from his lungs. He was turning pale, and his eyes rolled into the back of his head….

When a large boulder flew from the side and clocked Juniper in the side, causing her to go flying. Michael gasped for air, looking over to the side to see Aang standing there, in a fighting position.

"That's enough!" He shouted, his tattoos glowing bright blue.

"What are you doing?" Juniper shouted, standing up. "You SAW him attacking me! I was doing self defense!"

"An airbender NEVER kills if they have a choice! And you had a choice this time, and I'm not going to stand by and let you kill someone! Airbender or not!"

Juniper growled and leapt to her feet. "Then bring it on, kid! I'm taking this fandom over and I'm not gonna let some bald headed kid say otherwise! Bring it on!"

It was brought on, and Juniper got torn APART.

Despite the fact she was a Sue, she didn't stand a ghost of a chance for the Avatar. She was thrown around the square with rocks and fireballs and water whips and air balls of all shapes and sizes, needless to say Aang knew what he was doing. Everyone watched in wonder as Juniper was thrusted against a wall by Aang, currently in the Avatar state, eyes and markings glowing.

"And just what are you going to do?" Juniper grinned. "Gonna kill me? Do it then, be a big man!"

"Oh, no, I have another choice." He stated to her with a deep, echoing voice, and grabbed her by the face.
Nothing happened at first, until finally Juniper gasped, and Aang's eyes began to glow bright blue, and eventually as did his whole body. Juniper's turned dark purple and blue, quite possible to put emphasis on the darkness that dwelled in her. The bright blue energy that came from Aang began to envelope Junipers body, and both released bright energy beams from their eyes and mouth.

There was a blinding flash of light, and when it was finished, Aang was on the ground, panting with Juniper glaring at him, looking rather worn out.

"I… will…. destroy… you…" And she thrusted her hand out. Nothing happened. She did it again. Still nothing. "What…?" She gasped. "My… my powers…" She whispered.

"You don't have them anymore." Aang grinned. "I bended them out of you… a person who would abuse your powers like you did… doesn't deserve them…"

She growled and rose up. "I… don't care! I'll kill you all!" She lifted a hand and immediately fell to the ground. Michael stood over her, holding a dull looking rock in his hand.

"I'm not an earthbender but take that!" he panted.

"Are you okay?" Aang asked the Society member.

"As I'll ever be." He said, rolling his shoulder around. "Hey… where'd Claire and Miri go?"

As if on cue, Azula flew between the two of them, rather beaten, bruised and busted. "Mmm…" She moaned, barely awake.

"That's what you get for trying to attack my boyfriend behind his back!" Claire shouted, leaping beside Michael.

"No one attacks my brother and gets away with it…" Miri mumbled, her staff shortening down to normal size (She had a growing staff, able to stretch as far as she would desire. Cool, no?).

Zuko cuffed Azula, and Michael cuffed Juniper.

"Thank you for your help, whoever you are." Katara said with a bow to the girls who had apprehended Azula, who blushed and waved the compliment off.

"Well!" Michael exclaimed as he hefted an unconscious Juniper onto his shoulders. "This was a rather job well done, ain't that right guys?" He looked to his girlfriend and sister, both of whom were glaring at him. "Um…guys?" He asked them.

Toph smirked. "Don't need to have eyesight to know he's in trouble."

"No doubt." Aang and Sokka shook their heads.

"Okay, okay, ow, ow, ow! Too tight, too tight!"

"Someone keeps his legs down so he doesn't clock anyone in the face!"

"Someone grab the sword!"

"Need some help with the hands over here!"

And sooner than later, Michael was successfully tied down to his bed once more, and he looked mad. "I hate you ALL…"

"I love you too baby." Claire giggled, leaning down to peck her boyfriend on the lips sweetly. "Its for your own good ya know…"

"Indeed it is," Tash said as she walked in, looking amused and rather mad at the same time. "We don't need you busting anything more, we need everyone we can get out there!"

"Hm…fine." Michael mumbled, leaning back in his bed. "Guess I can rest…"

"Good!" Tash chirped as Claire snuggled herself closer to Michael, as Miri and Marcus (who had helped restrained Michael to the bed) chuckled. "And if you TRY to escape, I've let Adrian come up with some nice little booby traps around your doorway! So good luck getting out." She giggled. "Get better soon, mate, we'll be dropping in now and again!"

She walked out.


There was a yelp and silence. Everyone in the room sweatdropped. "She… got stuck in a trap, didn't she?" Michael asked.

"Not that surprising." Miri said as Claire giggled.

"Shut up!" Tash shouted from the hallway.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Insert Horrendeous Chinese Scriptures Here

"Jackie," Uncle said. "This is your other niece. She will be living with us for a year."

"What?" Jackie said, wearing his usual "baffled face". "Another niece I've never heard of is coming to live with us? Why do you never tell me these things?"

"You were napping when her parents called," Uncle replied, waving a hand casually. "Did not want to disturb you. This is Jade's sister. Her parents decided that since Jade is improving so much in America, they'd send her over, too."

"Jade," Jackie said, turning to the niece he knew existed. "Why did you never tell me you had a sister?"

For once, Jade said nothing. She just stared at the other girl and shrugged.

"Well," said Tohru, Uncle's 780-pound apprentice, turning to the new girl. "What's your name?"

The girl told him.


Meanwhile, in the Speed Racer fandom, Agent Marcus of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society was having some trouble with an old adversary: Xavier Nathaniel Zenith Peacemaker. The two of them were in the middle of a big race, and Xavier was winning easily.

"Ha!" Xavier laughed, speaking quickly with his mouth movements not in sync with the words he was saying. "My Mach 100 racecar is the fastest thing you have ever seen! I will win easily, then escape and leave you to say 'Curses, he has escaped in his Mach 100 racecar, the fastest thing I have ever seen!'! Ha, haha, haha!"

With that, Xavier Nathaniel Zenith Peacemaker shot past the finish line and out of sight.

"Curses!" Marcus said, in this fandom's manner of talking. "He has escaped in his Mach 100 racecar, the fastest thing I have ever seen!"

With that, he sighed and opened a portal back to the Library Arcanium.


Soon after returning to the Library, Marcus took out his frustration in a socially unacceptable way.

"I know what you want!" he shouted. "I always know what you want! It's always the same! You give me a short minute of pleasure followed by a long period of misery! You think you're so beautiful with your perfect form and your great additions in all the right places, but you're not! Once a man makes you a permanent part of his life, he can say good-bye to so much more! No, never again shall I give in to you, you dirty little succubus!"

"Marcus," Tash said. "Either eat your chocolate cake or don't, but please stop talking to it!"

"I don't know why you thought this would make me feel better," he muttered, pushing the plate away.

"I find that chocolate helps after a botched assignment," she told him, before grabbing the plate and digging in.

"It wasn't just 'botched'," Marcus groaned. "It was the worst I've ever done! I've chased Xavier across five fandoms, and each time I do worse!"

"Maybe you're trying too hard," Adrian suggested. "From what you told me, the plan was a little complicated."

Marcus said nothing. He just slumped his head on the table.

At that moment, Harriet burst in.

"Guys," she said. "We've got a Mary-Sue in the Jackie Chan Adventures fandom!"

"Anyone we know?" Tash inquired.

"I didn't recognize her," Harriet responded.

"Well," Tash said, standing up from the table. "Marcus, I hereby assign you this mission."

"What?" Marcus exclaimed. "Why me?"

"You and Michael are the only ones I've ever heard talking about this fandom, and Michael's still recovering," his boss replied. "Now, as your superior, I order you to go down and deal with this!"

Marcus frowned, but nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

Then Tash smiled.

"Hey," she said. "While you're there, I'll take Harriet and Lauren and see what we can do for the Speed Racer fandom, okay?"


Marcus' portal dumped him in the middle of Section 13, the secret government installation in the heart of San Francisco, just as his target was getting the tour from Captain Black (Section 13's bald leader), Jackie, and Jade. He took a good look at her—she was an attractive Chinese girl, about 16, with big eyes and short purple hair.

"And this is the Research and Development area," explained Captain Black. "Got that?"

Captain Black had clearly already fallen under her spell.

"All right, girl, put 'em up!" Marcus warned.

"Harrison, stop kidding around!" Captain Black ordered, before realizing he'd never met the boy to whom he was speaking.

"Who are you?" Captain Black, Jade, Jackie, and the Sue asked.

Marcus pulled out his badge and introduced himself.

"I'm Agent Marcus of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society," he said. "And I'm here to arrest this girl for joining a story through blood relation to a main character without prior notice or a permit!"

"That's ridiculous!" Captain Black argued. "I know every secret organization in the U.S., and I've never heard of this society!"

"Tch," Jade said. "You guys don't even know my favorite breakfast cereal!"

"Don't tell me you're actually agreeing with this lunatic!" the Sue demanded.

"I don't know," Jade said. "But something doesn't add up here…"

"Please," the Sue said. "This guy's supposed to be pursuing me, but I'll bet he doesn't even know my name!"
Marcus rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"That's… true," he admitted. "Tash threw me out without giving me a proper briefing…"

"Why, Marcus, I'm insulted!" the Sue sneered. "I can't believe you don't recognize me! I mean, sure, I've undergone a pretty drastic makeover since we last met, but you should at least remember my voice!"

That made it pretty clear to Marcus.

"Chi," he snarled.

The Sue just winked.

"People, this girl is highly dangerous!" Marcus warned. "Within a few days' time she'll disrupt the entire fandom!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, but I won't let you arrest my niece that I just met!" Jackie said, polite but firm. "Get out."

"Please, Uncle Jackie," Chi said. "Let me use dangerous magical artifacts to destroy him."

"Well, normally I'd say 'no, it's too dangerous'," Jackie replied. "But for some reason I guess it's okay."

Jade just scowled at him.

Chi smiled and pulled something out from under her shirt: a necklace with twelve stone pendants, each depicting an animal of the Chinese zodiac.

"The talismans!" Marcus gasped.

"That's right!" Chi laughed. "All twelve of 'em! I've got all their powers—strength, speed, levitation, immortality… oh, and here's my favorite!"

Chi lifted her hand as the dragon talisman began to glow and fire appeared in her hand. Marcus braced himself for the explosion, but instead he heard a much more surprising noise.

"Oh, no you don't!" Jade shouted, grabbing the necklace by two talismans and pointing Chi upward to redirect the blast.

"Jade!" Jackie exclaimed. "Stop interfering with Chi destroying her enemy!"

"No way!" Jade shouted. "I don't know what's going on here, but my Uncle Jackie would never let his niece use the talismans! You're going down, sis!"

"Get off me, brat!" Chi said, throwing Jade off. Jade went flying across the room, her fists still clenched.

Marcus ran over to make sure she was okay. She had a big bruise, but was fine otherwise.

"Oh, good," Chi commented. "Now I can destroy you both with one shot!"

"You'd destroy your own 'sister'?" Marcus gasped.

"Uncle Jackie will forgive me," Chi smirked. "Nobody can stay mad at me."

Chi charged up another blast from the dragon talisman, but before she could fire, Marcus grabbed Jade, pulled out his Scene Transition, and activated it.


"You're up?" Jade exclaimed as Marcus awoke in a back alley.

Marcus flashed back and remembered the escape he and Jade had made, and that soon after, Chi had cast a powerful spell (with Uncle's full permission, of course) to put the whole fandom into an eternal sleep. Jade had evaded it by, uh, borrowing some of Uncle's ingredients to make a shield spell for herself. Chi clearly wanted to face Marcus alone.

"Yep," Marcus replied. "General spells can't affect non-canon characters."

Jade blinked.

"Okay, I have no idea what that means," she said. "But I do know that we can help each other here. Chi's got almost all the talismans—."

"Almost?" Marcus repeated.

Jade smirked and pulled two talismans out of her pockets.

"The sheep and the tiger," Marcus groaned. "Astral projection and yin-yang."

"I know they're not much," Jade sighed. "But at least she doesn't have the full set."

"She might as well," Marcus told her. "Nobody ever uses those!"

"Man, where's the optimism?" Jade pouted. "Do you think you could at least try to think of something?"
"Sorry," Marcus apologized. "After five consecutive failures, my confident side has gone into hiding."

Jade paused, then smirked.

"Here," she said, tossing him the tiger talisman. "Catch!"

Marcus caught the talisman and it split in his hand. It wasn't alone, though—Marcus split, too! On one side was a clean-shaven Marcus dressed all in blue with no clip-on shades on his glasses, while on the other side was one with a full goatee dressed in red whose sunglasses were real, not just clipped-on lenses (his eyesight wasn't perfect, though—he was wearing contacts underneath).

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" the red one shouted, his voice overflowing with emotion.

"Normally that talisman splits good and evil," Jade told him. "But I figured it could bring out your confident side, too."

"N-n-not qu-quite," the blue one stammered. "I th-think it sp-sp-split b-b-brawn and b-b-brains, r-reckl-l-lessn-ness and f-fear, a-and a f-few other th-things."

He sounded like a nervous wreck.


"We could use the demon chi!" Jade suggested excitedly. "We have all eight!"

"T-too r-risky," the blue Marcus said. "Th-they allow the d-d-demon to use your b-body if your w-w-willp-power isn't st-st-strong enough, a-and if w-we c-can th-throw it off, w-we're b-basically a G-Gary-Stu. F-face it, w-we haven't had m-much l-l-luck w-with u-using m-magical d-devices t-to f-f-fight Ch-Chi."


"Our l-lives," the blue one stuttered. "Our f-f-freedom. Our s-s-society m-membersh-ship."


For that, the blue one had nothing to say.

"GOOD!" the red one screamed. "NOW, LET'S COME UP WITH A PLAN TOGETHER!"

"J-just d-d-don't exp-pect m-me to f-f-fight," the blue one warned.


Sneaking back into Section 13 wasn't hard with everyone asleep. Jade and the Marcuses made it in easily.

"Hey, Chi," Jade shouted. "I'm back! Come and get me!"

This was Jade's part. She was a distraction so that the Marcuses could get what they needed.

"Already here," said a voice beside Jade. Suddenly, Chi appeared out of nowhere! She had used the snake talisman to become invisible!

Still, she didn't notice the Marcuses sneaking off to the vault…

In the vault the Marcuses found what they needed, just before hearing a loud explosion. Jade might very well be dead, but it wouldn't matter if this worked.

"OH, CHI," the red Marcus shouted. "I'M IN THE VAULT! COME AND GET ME!"

Chi appeared in less than two seconds thanks to the rabbit talisman and the fact that Marcus had left the vault door open.

"Oh, the tiger talisman," she observed sarcastically as she looked the two over. "Yeah, that'll help you."

"M-maybe n-not," the blue Marcus replied. "B-but th-th-this m-might!"

The red Marcus pulled something from behind his back: a red and white Japanese oni mask.

"Tarakudo's mask?" Chi exclaimed. "Are you nuts? Ten demons are contained in that! They'll consume you in an instant!" Then she paused. "Although… if you do throw them off, I'd love to have you as a partner. You're kinda cute."

"FORGET IT!" the red Marcus shouted as the blue one gave a disgusted look. "I'LL NEVER BECOME A STU!"

The red Marcus stuck the mask over his face where it held firm, now impossible to pull off.
"LET'S RUMBLE!" he shouted. His voice wasn't just emotional anymore—it was demonic.

The two fighters clashed, but though the mask granted the red Marcus great strength and slight invulnerability, the power of ten combined talismans was far too much for one fighter.


All around the room, shadows began to appear, and from them emerged warriors dressed in ninja garb—small winged ones, skinny ones with sharp clawed hands, giant sumo ones, and many more.

"GRAB HER!" the masked Marcus ordered.

The shadowkhan obeyed and attacked Chi all at once. Even with the talismans she couldn't fight them off, especially after one lucky ninja snatched the necklace clean off. Soon enough, Chi was incapacitated, which made it easy for the blue Marcus to run over and cram a Prohibitor on her wrist.

With a bright flash of light the shadowkhan disappeared, the ten talismans returned to their container, and everyone woke up. Still, the mask stayed on.

"Congratulations," Chi snarled. "You've got me. But good luck overpowering those demons' collective willpowers!" She paused, then changed her tone. "No, really, good luck! I want you on my side!"

"N-n-not a ch-chance!" the blue Marcus said. From his pocket, he withdrew a potion vial full of green liquid, which he poured on his hands. Then he grabbed his other half's mask and yanked it clean off and threw it across the room!

"Impossible!" Chi exclaimed. "How'd you get the formula for the mask removal potion?"

"Astral f-forms c-can e-enter d-d-dreams," the blue Marcus explained. "W-we used th-the sh-sh-sheep t-talisman t-to e-enter Uncle's a-and a-ask h-h-him."

"And the samurai hair needed for it?" Chi queried.

"TOHRU'S HAIRBRUSH." The red Marcus replied.

"Very clever," Chi smirked. "But there's one little flaw."

Smiling, Chi ran over to the mask and put it over her own face! Laughing, she summoned numerous shadowkhan to aid her.

"Destroy the Prohibitor!" she ordered.

A mutant shadowkhan (like a cross between a pro wrestler and a lobster) used his claw to snip the band right off, then crushed it in his giant hand.

"Now, destroy them!" the Sue ordered, pointing to her adversaries.

The shadowkhan marched in rows, blindly obeying their master.

"QUICK!" the red Marcus told his other half. "GIVE ME A BOOST!"

"W-why?" the blue half asked.

"TRUST ME!" the red one shouted. "I CAN SAVE US BOTH!"

The blue Marcus looked as nervous as ever, but he cupped his hands down low. The red Marcus jumped off of them and over to Chi, then pulled a Copyright out of his pocket and jammed it on the mask. The shadowkhan disappeared and the mask fell to the floor, useless.

Chi glared, but said nothing. Instead, she just conjured a plothole and disappeared through it.

Their target gone, the two Marcuses sighed and put the halves of the tiger talisman they'd been holding back together, uniting the talisman and themselves. Sighing, he put the sheep talisman back, then lingered on the tiger.

Then he got an idea.


"Sorry to hear about that," Tash said after Marcus gave her his report. "Xavier escaped, too, but we managed to clean up the fandom."

"It's not that bad," Marcus said with a smile. "I'll get the next one, probably, and now I've got a new way of thinking."

"What do you mean?" Tash inquired.

Marcus smirked and showed her his new necklace, with two strings holding opposite sides of a very familiar pendant.

"You kept a canon object?" Tash shouted.

"No, no," Marcus reassured. "The real one is back there. This is an exact duplicate with the same powers. This way, I won't lose balance like before. And… I'll never be lonely."

Friday, March 11, 2011

Insert Extremely Cheap Fist Style Here

The entire world of 300X was at ultimate peace and prosperity. Ever since the destruction of the entire Maruhage Empire by the two new warriors that had fell from the sky. Their names were Rando Sam Haru Adam Hikaru Yami Mish, and Usagi Ami Rei Makoto Minako Chibiusa Haruka Michiru Setsuna Hotaru Mash. Just a week previously they had fallen from the sky, conveniently on top of a certain blue jelly man with serious issues. It turns out that they had been incredible heroes in their own world, and the only True Fist practitioners. Rando's Fist was called Fist of Power, and was the increasing of one's power infinitely, which meant that the one using it could never lose. Usagi's Fist was called Fist of Planet, and it was the manipulation of the planets and their power to win any fight. Upon arriving, they quickly fought and defeated every member of the Nonsense Team at once, and then proceeded to defeat the entire Maruhage Empire in a single attack from each. After this, they quickly pursued Heppokomaru and Beauty. This was easy, since Rando looked so perfect that he put statues to shame, and Usagi looked just as perfect, so they soon got what they wanted. However, that was all about to change.

It was a bright and sunny day. The entire Nonsense Team, Rando and Usagi included, was sitting, was on the verge of having a picnic in a grassy meadow with a hill at the end of it. They were just starting to unpack when two voices in total unison shouted "STOP!" at the tops of their lungs. The entire group turned, and gasped. There, standing on the hill, were two extremely strange people. One was at least 5'8, and was dressed all in black, wearing the Shakespearian mask of tragedy, and holding a short and plain sword, wit ha straw hat on his head. The other was a boy of around 16, but tall, with short brown hair, an all white outfit, and a black bladed sword and a golden hilt studded with gems. On the center of his forehead was the Japanese kanji for magic, literally burned into his scalp.

"Who are you?" Rando asked, grinning at the prospect of a battle.

"I'm Michael…" the black clad figure said.

"and I'm Willie!" the white clad figure continued.

"We are from the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society, and we are here to end your reign of fandom pollution!" they said in unison again, bringing a grin to Usagi's face as well.

"Well, took you guys long enough to show up. And what's with two of you. Afraid that we're too powerful for just one member?" she said, her voice sounding like smooth, sleek poisoned milk.

"Actually, I'm just here to help Willie here out. This is his first mission for the Society, and I want to make sure that he doesn't mess up. Now, Willie, shed some light on the situation!" Michael shouted, prompting a grin from Willie.

"With pleasure. Revelation of Truth!" he shouted, shining a bright light from his sword which struck the Mary-Sue and Gary-Stu with incredible force! After a few moments, the light faded, and when it did, everything but the self-inserts were frozen, and the two over-perfects were not what they used to be. Rando now had skin that was gray and rough, tentacles instead of feet, and snakes instead of fingers. Usagi now had a face that would turn Medusa to stone, a body that looked misshapen and fat, nubs for fingers and hands, and feat that were giant pimples.

"Ahh! What did you do to us?" Rando and Usagi shouted, horrified at the loss of their beauty.

"That was my Revelation of Truth attack. I am a master of magic, and when I combined my sword with Society technology, I was able to create awesome attacks. This one takes people, or demons in your case, and turns their inner beauty into their outer beauty. Therefore, you changed from perfect on the outside, to hideous caricatures. It also freezes canon, giving us time to fight, " he said, prompting a gasp from Rando.
"But that sounds like something that…" he began, before Willie cut him off.

"A Gary-Stu would have as an attack? Yes it is. But it also is an attack that the major character of a fandom would have. Think about it," he said, right before realization dawned on Rando's face.

"You mean.." he said, right before Willie cut him off again.

"Yes, Rando. I am the major character of a fandom, or rather was before I joined the Society. But more on that later. Michael, I'll take Little Miss Perfect. You take Gary," Willie said, before rushing off to find Usagi, who had run off just as Rando realized that Willie was a major character.

"Glad to," Michael said, before entering a stance with his sword, and rushing toward Rando.

"Fool! Even hideous, I still have all my powers! Super Fist of-" Rando shouted right before Michael leaped up and slapped a Prohibitor on his wrist, removing all of his powers, and canceling his attack in its tracks. Michael landed quickly, and decided to throw theatrics to the wind, and end the battle quickly. Once he reached this decision, he grinned and plunged his sword through Rando's chest! Rando, caught completely off guard, could do nothing but cough up blood before Michael removed his sword and leaned in close to him, grinning.

"And so ends all Gary-Stus. Burn in Hell for a thousand years or more," he whispered before Rando's eyes lolled back into his head, and he collapsed to the ground and disintegrated. "Well, that takes care of that. I wonder how Willie's doing," he asked himself, a thoughtful look on his face.

-Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society-

Meanwhile, at the other side of the meadow, Willie and Usagi were having a dramatic staredown, both grinning. "Well, aren't you going to pull a Prohibitor on me?" she asked mockingly.

"I prefer to trust my magic and sword skills. Besides, I want to fight you at full power," Willie said, preparing to attack her with his blade.

"Okay. Your funeral. Super Fist of Planets! Mercury's Wave!" she shouted, before a giant wave of water shot out from her hands and moved to crush Willie! But, before it could, he quickly slashed it in two, and, rushing over to Usagi, slashed her multiple times before ramming the hilt into her stomach, knocking her down and planting his foot on her chest.

"Any last words before I send you to hell?" he asked calmly.

"Yes. Look: An innocent child about to fall into a alligator pit!" she shouted. Willie gasped, and quickly turned around, getting his foot off Usagi's chest. He saw nothing, but then heard a soft whirring noise behind him. He turned again, but was only able to see a plothole closing, with Usagi in it. Once the plothole had vanished, he blinked, and then shouted out in anger! He screamed for a good 2 minutes, and by the time he was done, Michael was already right next to him.

"What happened?" he asked.

"She got away, and all because I fell for the 'child in danger' routine," he said, sadness and frustration filling his voice.

"Relax, kid. Everyone fails his or her first time," he said, grinning. At that moment, Willie noticed that his mask was gone, and had been gone since a minute after the mission started.

"That statement kinda loses its meaning when you say it, since you didn't fail your first mission," he said, laughing, and making Michael laugh with him.

"Alright, alright, I see your point. But, let's change the subject. How did you, the major character of a fandom find his way into the Society? And what fandom are you from, anyway?" he asked, causing Willie to get a grim look on his face.

"Are you sure? It's a long story," he said, prompting a larger grin from Michael.

"We have time," he said, causing Willie to sigh.

"Alright. Sit down. This will take awhile," Willie said, before he and Michael sat down on the soft grass. "Back in my fandom, I was the major hero, a warrior of magic blessed by a goddess. Everything was as perfect as a fandom is normally, as in a major villain, several monsters-of-the-day, etc. It was great. But then, she came along. It was that Mary-Sue you guys have been pursuing for ages, Willowe something or other. She came, seduced my allies, turned my foes good, and drove me out of the spotlight. I was furious, but then I began to think. Why wasn't I subjected to her charms, and made her follower? After several weeks of thinking, it hit me. I was a self-insert," Willie said, prompting a gasp from Michael.

"What? A self-insert at the head of a fandom? How is that possible?" he asked, surprise filling his voice.

"That's what I thought. But then I realized something else. What if this entire world was a self-insert? I did some research, and found everything out. An aspiring fanfiction author wanted to create an extremely powerful character, but hated Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus. So he decided to create an entire world, and but me as the main character. That way, I could be as powerful as he wanted me to be, without becoming a Gary-Stu. Once I found this out, and found out that I was an author avatar, like you guys, I left my world, found the Society, joined, and you know the rest," he said, frowning as he did so.

"Wow. That was incredible," Michael said, his mouth opened wide.

"Yeah, I know. Pretty weird isn't it?" Willie said, starting to grin.

"Yeah. Anyway, let's get going. We better tell Tash that we got half our mission completed, and we have a new Mary-Sue on the loose," Michael said, grinning.

"Good idea. You know Michael, I think that this may be the start of a beautiful friendship," Willie said before getting up and opening a plothole.

"You're probably right, Willie. You're probably right," Michael said, before grinning, getting up, and then the two Society members walked through the plothole, ready to fight any foe, even a sugar-deprived Tash upon hearing bad news.