Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Insert Fast Car Here

Pete was sitting in the Sue monitor room. He had been put on monitor duty, since there hadn't been anything for him to do in the fandoms, ever since he returned from the Ironman fandom, and he was bored out of his mind. Therefore, he had let Himuro take over, and now he was sitting in front of the screen, fiddling with what looked like a detonator, with a battery pack, and a timer attached.

Suddenly, an alarm went off on the monitor, indicating that a Sue had been found "Well, it was fun while it lasted." Himuro said, and tightened the last screw on the device, before he put his classes and the device back in one of his pockets, before closing his eyes to switch back to Pete.

"Okay, what have we here?" Pete asked himself, after regaining his senses, and turning off the alarm. He began typing in commands, that brought up the name of the fandom "Tash, I've found some." Pete yelled, after confirming the fandom, and the number of Sues in it.

"Great, how many are there, and where are they." Tash asked, running over to Pete, and looking over his shoulder.

"From what I can see, there are 4 of them, and they are in the Cannonball run fandom." Pete said as he looked the 4 signatures on the screen, of which 1 of them looked a little different. He suddenly realized what he had just read, and added "Cool.".

Tash looked from the screen to Pete and asked "Do you know this fandom?".

"Yeah, it's one of my favorite movies from the 80s." Pete said.

"Then go to your room, and pack your gear, I'll meet you in the library, together with the agents, who'll be assisting you." Tash said, and started walking over to her own computer, to check for available agents for the mission.

"Yes ma'am." Pete said and turned off the scanner, and went to his room.


Pete exited through a plothole into a desert area together with his 2 partners. The first one being Doug, and the other being Marcus. Pete immediately looked at his clothes. He was wearing a pair of slightly tight jeans, a white shirt, a thin leather jacket, white sneakers, and a cowboy hat "I feel right at home in this movie already." Pete said, and though the clothes wasn't his favorite, he actually thought he looked pretty good in it.

"People wear this?" Doug asked. He was dressed in an outfit, similar to the one Pete was wearing, only the shirt was green, he also had his knife attached to his belt, and a rifle over his shoulder. Marcus was dressed in a grey and black, gangster like outfit.

"Welcome to my world." Pete said. Just then, a black Lamborghini came speeding by, with a herd of police cars behind it.

"What was that?" Marcus asked.

"That was the beginning of the movie." Pete said. He then noticed 3 cars only a few feet away from them. He waved his fellow agents with him, as he started walking over to them.

All 3 cars were Trans ams, and each was painted with a different pattern on them. The first was painted gold and silver, with a white dragonfly, and a black grasshopper, in a circle pattern, on the hood. The second was camouflage colored, with every color that the military uses. The third and last was painted in soft red, yellow, and purple colors, with the Storm Hawks character Junko painted on the hood.

Pete saw a note stuck to the windscreen, of the gold and silver Trans am. He picked it up and read out loud "Here you go boys, a nice set of wheels for all of you. Do your best, and show those Sues who's boss, the Author."

There was quiet for a moment, before Marcus asked "So, where do we go from here?"

"I'd suggest we go to the cannon ball pub, and sign up for the race." Pete said, and jumped into the driver seat of the silver, and gold car, and was gladly surprised to see that the car had a radio, so he could communicate with his team mates. He turned the radio on, and picked up the caller, "Darkhopper calling Military man and Clip shades, you good to go, over?" Pete said, with a slightly Texan accent.

"10 4 Darkhopper, I am, over." Doug answered back, imitating the same accent.

"Uhm, yeah, I'm ready." Marcus said, only getting the basic of what the other 2 was saying.

"Alright, let's get to the inn, as quick as we can." Pete said as he turned the key to start the engine, and soon, the 3 cars was zooming down the highway towards the cannon ball pub.


"Wow, I can't believe I'm actually here." Pete said excitedly, as he looked at the motel, he and his 2 partners had parked in front of.

"Can I ask you why you're so exited?" Doug asked.

"Well, it's just that, I've loved this movie, since I was a child, and I've always wanted to see this place for real." Pete said in a more calm voice.

Suddenly, a pickup truck came into the parking lot at high speed. It looked like the driver tried to stop the vehicle, but couldn't. The car did a few turns, before it smashed into the front doors of the motel. Doug and Marcus was about to run in and see if anyone had been hurt, when Pete said "Don't bother, no one's been hurt. Come, let's go register."

When they passed the doors though, Marcus and Doug couldn't help but looking inside the lobby, just to make sure no one actually hadn't been hurt. They were relieved to see that no one had been hurt. The only one who had been close to being hurt, was a guy who had been knocked unconscious by the truck, and who was now being awakened with a splash of water to the face.

After registering, the 3 agents went into the motel, and got rooms for the night. After inspecting their rooms, they went into town, to buy supplies for the trip. When night finally fell, they went down to the bar to get some drinks, and talk plans for the coming morning "Okay, you're the guy who knows all about this fandom, so what's the plan?" Marcus asked Pete.

"Well, I'm assuming that the Sues are here to participate in the race…"

"And you're absolutely right." A familiar voice said from the table, across form where the 3 agents was sitting. They looked in the direction of the voice, to find Anuhs Weedy, Beautirix in a white miniskirt, top, and high heels, a Sue with floor long, fire red hair and silver eyes, and a Stu with spiky, golden hair, and equally golden eyes. The Sue was wearing a short, ruby red dress with matching high heels. The Stu was dressed in a green T-shirt, a pair of jeans, and cowboy boots.

"How predictable. Now, will you tell us what you're here?" Pete asked.

"As if, 'cause in a few seconds, you'll all be dead." Anuhs said as he raised from his chair, and cracked his knuckles.

"Before you do that, let me make a suggestion." Pete said in a fit of panic.

Anuhs exhaled and sat down again and said "Okay, let me hear it.".

Thinking very quickly, Pete said "How about we, uh, make the race our battlefield, whenever one of you meets one of us and vice versa, either one can challenge the other to a duel. How does that sound to you?"

"That is the stupidest idea I have ever…" Beautirix managed say before Anuhs cut her off.

"Shut up Angelina." Anuhs said to the Sue, before he turned his attention to Pete and continued "I think it's a brilliant idea. In fact, I have an improvement for your idea, but I'll reveal that for you tomorrow." Anuhs and his posse left their table, and started heading for their rooms.

Pete raised from his own seat, and said "Anuhs, can I ask you one question."

"What is it?" Anuhs asked.

"Why did you call Beautirix, Angelina?".

"Because that's her name, Angelina Beautiri Falburo the 99th. Why, are you in love with her?" Anuhs asked back with an evil smile on his face.

"Screw you, I was just curious, now buzz of." Pete said in an annoyed tone, and gave the Gary-Stu a very impolite hand gesture. Anuhs and the other Sues just laughed, and walked off.

"Man I hate him." Pete said as he sat down again.

"I know how you feel, what is his problem anyway?" Doug asked.

"He seems to have gotten the idea that if he kills me, he kills me and Joes author." Pete said, and took a sip of his drink.

"He's that crazy?" Marcus asked, and also took a sip of his drink.

"Yep." Pete said.

"Hey watch out, watch OUUUUUUT." A voice suddenly yelled, and a man came flying down the stairs on a motorcycle.

"Is everyone just crazy around here?" Marcus asked.

"Nah, the really crazy ones left a minute ago." Pete said and finished his drink.


Morning came, and the 3 society agents was getting ready for the race. Pete was sitting in his room, thinking about why the Sues he was hunting had stopped warping the fandoms they entered. It was as if they had bigger plans than just becoming the most respected person in a fandom. After doing some careful thinking, he decided to tap into the universal knowledge, he had received from the indigo child. He sat down on his bed, and closed his eyes. At first, nothing happened, then suddenly he found himself standing in what looked like the universe, with galaxies, stars and planets flying by him. Pete looked around, and saw a huge screen behind him. As he walked up to the screen, it turned on and a face appeared on it. It was the face of Jade.

"Hello, receiver of the knowledge of the universe, what do you wish to know?" The face asked.

"I wish to know what it is the Sues I'm hunting is after." Pete said. Jades head nodded, and a sudden flash of light came from the screen. Pete rubbed his eyes and looked around. He was standing on a small piece of land in the middle of nowhere.

He suddenly heard someone speak, and he quickly looked around to see who it was. He saw Anuhs speaking to someone in the shadows. Pete walked a little closer to the two, not sure if they would see him or not. When they didn't, he walked all the way up to them and listened to what they were saying "So you have actually discovered a way to send Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus to the real world, without them loosing their powers?" Anuhs asked.

"Yes, but I can't leave this place, because of the spell my author put on me, but once the machine is completed, I can get rid of the spell that's holding me here, and finally get my revenge." The last word from the shadow sounded almost happy.

After the last word had been spoken, Pete was surrounded by light once again, and when he opened his eyes, he was back in his room "Wow, what a rush." Pete said, he got off his bed, grabbed his hat and jacket, and started to walk downstairs to meet up with Doug and Marcus.


The 3 agents was checking their cars, getting them ready for the trip. It seemed that the fandom had given them knowledge on the cars they had. After checking the cars, Doug asked "So, who else is driving in this race, Pete?"

"Well, I guess I can point out the most important drivers." Pete said. He pointed at an ambulance, where 2 men, dressed in medic driver uniforms, were talking, one of them was thin, and the other was chubby "That's J.J. McClure and Victor Prinzim, not much to say about them, except that victor has an alter ego called Captain Chaos, who he pulls out when he wants to act heroic."

Pete then pointed at a Rolls-Royce where an Arabian looking man was standing with 2 bodyguards "And that's the Sheik. He thinks he has the fastest car in the world, and he wants to prove it here in the race."

The next car to be pointed at was a red Ferrari, where a small black man, and a normal sized white man, dressed as priests, was arguing about something "And here we have Fenderbaum and Blake, they've put 20.000 dollars on themselves with stakes 50 to 1, so if they win they walk away with 1 million dollars."

The last car Pete pointed at was actually the Lamborghini that had passed them when they arrived in the fandom "And lastly, we have Jill and Marcie. They're just here for the thrill of the race, but they are pretty important to the storyline of the movie."

The 3 agents suddenly noticed Angelina walking towards them with some maps under her arm. She stopped a few feet away from them, and held the maps out to them, at arms length "Here." She said with a sour expression on her face.

"What's this?" Pete asked as he accepted the maps, and gave one to the other 2 agents.

"It's Anuhs brilliant idea, he set up fight points for us to meet at and beat each other up." Angelina said. Pete, Doug and Marcus looked at the maps, and sure enough, along the road to L.A. little X'es had been put to indicate the fight points "Well, bye." Angelina said and started to walk away from the agents.

"Wait." Pete said.

"What is it?." Angelina asked and turned around.

"How did you end up with an idiot like Anuhs. I mean he's not exactly your type, as far as I remember from the Asterix fandom?"

"He gave an offer that I simply couldn't say no to." Angelina said and walked away.

"Yeah, an offer you couldn't refuse." Pete said as he put the map in his car, and pulled out a soda.


Finally, evening came, and everyone who was participating in the cannonball race, was very exited about the coming event. One of the officials gathered everyone around and held a short speech about the race, and then send the first car off. Doug, Marcus and Pete went to their cars to discuss the last few details of their route. Just as they finished, Anuhs came walking over to them and said "Good luck with the race, and may the best and most perfect win." He finished the sentence with a grin that clearly showed his rotting teeth.

"Well then, I'll make sure to visit you in the holding cells, when we've prohibited you and your posse." Pete said, and smiled mockingly back.

"We'll see." Anuhs said and walked away again.

Pete turned to his fellow agents and said "Well, let's get this show on the road." Doug and Marcus nodded, and they jumped into their cars, waiting for it to be their turn.

Finally, one by one, they were called to the starting line, where they punched out and drove off into the night. By morning the met up at a gas station, where they got a bite to eat, before getting on the road again, with Pete at the back as a blocker, a person who could distract the police when they ran into them. (Trust me, in this movie, cops are everywhere.)

They soon did, and while Doug and Marcus got away, Pete did everything he could to get rid of the cops. During a sharp turn, the small machine, that Himuro had made back at the society, flew out of his pocket, and landed on the seat beside him. He picked it up and looked at it for a moment, wondering what it was, before he turned his attention back to the road and the cops. He put the pedal to the metal and put good deal of road between him and the police. He looked at the detonator looking device again, and made a quick decision to give it a try.

He pulled over, held up the machine, and said to himself "I sure hope, this is something good, Himuro."

He pressed the button, and a mechanical voice said "GENDER BENDING INITIATED, TRANSFORMATION WILL LAST FOR TEN MINUTES." The timer set itself to 10:00, and a quick flash of light came from the top of the machine.

"What was that?" Pete asked himself, however, his voice came out as that of a woman. He quickly took a look in the rearview mirror, only to see that his cowboy clothes had been replaced with a suit like the ones that Jill and Marcie had on, only his was green and white. His hair had become a little longer, and his body had become that of a woman. Pete took a look in the side mirror, and saw an officer nearing the car.

Pete quickly remembered how Jill and Marcie got rid of cops, so he zipped down the suit to expose himself, in the hopes that it would distract the police man, so he could get away from the scene, without a ticket, and the trick actually worked, and soon after, Pete was on the road again, trying to catch up to Doug and Marcus. He picked up the radio, and called his fellow agents "Doug, Marcus, are you there?"

"Who's this?" Marcus asked.

"Well, you might not believe this, but this is Pete."

"How can it be you, when you have a woman's voice?" Doug asked.

"You just gonna have to…" The timer on the Genderbender reached 0 and Pete was returned to his original self without knowing it, as he continued with his normal voice "Believe me.".

"Okay, how did you do that." Marcus asked, in a very confused tone of voice.

"One of Himuros little inventions, it switched my gender somehow, that's why my voice sounded different." Pete said, and held up the device "Anyway, how far are from me, I'm at highway marker…" He looked at the road, to see a marker with the number 68 written on it "68, what about you." He continued.

There was a small break, before Doug came on and said "We're at marker 69, and nearing the first fight point."

"Okay, I'll meet you there, as fast as I can." Pete said and hung up, and put the pedal to the metal to catch up with his fellow agents. Upon arriving at the fight point, Marcus was already locked in battle with the unnamed Sue of Anuhs' posse. Pete jumped out of his car and walked up to Doug "Did I miss much?" Pete asked

"Not all that much." Doug said and turned his attention back to the fight going on.

Marcus was doing pretty well, considering that he was fighting Sue. He used the Tiger talisman, around his neck, to split into emotion Marcus and thought Marcus. Thought Marcus used enchanted umbrellas to block the Sues attacks, which consisted of her hauling fireballs at the Marcuses, and making herself into metal, and use her nails for close combat. Emotion Marcus used the swords hidden in the umbrellas to attack at any given opportunity.

Thought Marcus suddenly noticed that the Sue was wearing a silver ring on her right hand, and a gold one on her left, and that she clenched her fists every time she used her powers "H-h-hey, d-d-destroy the r-rings. I-i-it will c-c-cause her t-t-to lose her p-p-powers!" Thought Marcus yelled to his emotion counterpart.

"Alright!" Emotion Marcus yelled back and started going for the rings, instead of the Sue. At first, he tried to cut off the fingers of the Sue, but due to her Sue powers, she easily dodged his attacks, and quickly counterattacked. From time to time, thought Marcus would step in an block an attack for his emotion counterpart. This continued for a good deal of time, before with a very lucky shot, emotion Marcus managed to actually cut through the ring on the Sues right hand, before getting kicked away by the Sue.

The Sue looked down at her finger, as what was left of the ring turned into dust. She then looked angrily at Marcus, who was getting up from the kick, before clenching her fist, flames surrounding her. The angry look turned into a smile, before she gathered all the fire around her into one big ball in her hand, which she then threw at emotion Marcus.

At the last second however, thought Marcus managed to get in front his counterpart, and blocked the attack with the umbrellas "G-g-go get her." Thought Marcus said to emotion Marcus, who nodded and ran around the shielding umbrellas with direction towards the Sue. He quickly reached the Sue, and after a few tries, he managed to cut off the other ring. After that, emotion Marcus quickly put a Prohibitor on the Sue and opened a plothole back to the society, which he then pushed her through.

"1 down, 3 to go." Emotion Marcus bellowed, before combining with his thought counterpart once again.
"So what, you still have to capture 3 of us, before you can call it a full load. And trust me, you won't." Anuhs said before he, Angelina, and the unnamed Stu walked back to their cars, and drove off to the next fight point.

"I guess we better get going as well." Pete said. Doug and Marcus nodded, and they soon left the place. Not long after, they made a stop at a gas station, to refuel, restock their supplies and get something to eat. It was also here that Pete told his fellow agents about the Genderbender.

"So this little thing will change your gender and outfit for 10 minutes?" Doug asked as he looked the small, homemade invention over.

"Yeah, at least in this fandom. I don't know how long it would work in another fandom, let alone in the library." Pete answered before taking a sip from his soda.

"But how did you make this?".

"I didn't, Himuro did.".

Who's Himuro?" Marcus asked.

"He's my other personality." Pete said, and started to explain who Himuro was.

The 3 agents was soon on the road again, this time with Marcus as the blocker. The 3 agents had agreed, that the one who was blocker, was to be armed with the Genderbender, in case the police showed up. So Pete had handed the invention over to Marcus before their departure.

Pete thought that the rest of the trip would be just them capturing the Sues, and then go back to the library, and do whatever they wanted to do. But as he was listening to some music on the radio, a rainbow colored portal suddenly opened in front of him "This doesn't happen in the movie." Pete got out, before he drove through the portal. It felt like driving through water, but without the 'getting wet' part. Pete drove to the side of the road, and looked back at the portal, which was disappearing into the ground again "What on earth was that?" He asked himself.

"I'll give you three guesses." A voice said beside him.

Petes head spun faster than the wheels on a formula 1, to see who had talked to him. It was a man, dressed in a WWII style uniform, he also had a military style helmet modeled after a grasshopper, and around his waist, was a crude looking, electronic belt, making him look like a prototype rider "Who are you?" Pete asked in disbelief.

"The name's Jessie Arc, aka Warhopper." Jessie said.

"Aha, and where are you from?" Pete asked as he sat back in his seat.

"I'm from our authors mind." Jessie said and pulled his seat back, so he could put his feet on the dash board.

"So you're one of his thoughts made real, and he's send you to help us, am I right about that?" Pete asked as he started the car up again.

"Yeah, but how do you know?".

"Let's just say, I know how he's thinking." Pete said before putting the pedal to the metal and drove off to make up for the lost time. Pete and Jessie soon caught up to Doug and Marcus, and after a brief introduction, they drove the last couple of miles to the fight point, where they, not surprisingly were greeted by Anuhs and his posse.

"Okay, let's get this over with." Anuhs said, and nodded to the unnamed Stu, who stepped out, cracking his knuckles in the process.

"So, who wanna take care of this one?" Pete asked.

"I'll take him." Doug said, walking onto the field, drawing his knife as he did, and morphing it into his sword. The Stu didn't seem the least bit intimidated, in fact, he just stood there, not saying a word, or cracking any jokes "You're pretty quiet, aren't you." Doug said.

The Stu just barred his teeth, and suddenly, his hair started rising, like it had become static, and electricity was visibly trailing over his skin and hair. The Stu whipped out his right hand, and a bolt of lightning shot from it.

The bolt hit its target, which was Doug's sword, sending a shock through him. With help from his halfling powers, he quickly got back to his feet, transformed his sword back into a knife, and instead grabbed his rifle, and started shooting at the Stu.

The Stu however, made an electric field around himself, and melted the bullets before they could hit him. At last Doug gave on hurting the Stu through use of his rifle, and turned back to using his knife, not transforming it this time, in CQC (Close quarters combat) which actually worked very well, because the Stu discharged his electricity a lot faster when he was fighting someone up close, and it also took him longer to charge up his energy. But his hand-to-hand combat skills was far better than Doug's, so even though Doug was good when it came to knife fighting, it was still hard to land any punches on the Stu.

As Doug was doing his best to fight the Stu, Pete had gotten an idea for how to get a prohibitor on the Stu. He found a block of paper and a pen in his pocket, and quickly scribbled down a few words, and waited for the right moment to give it to Doug. At last, the Stu punched Doug hard enough, to send him flying. He landed in front of Pete, who helped him up, and as he did, he slipped him the note, and whispered in his ear "Read the note, when he attacks." Doug nodded, and out on the field again, while unfolding the note.

The Stu had charged up for another attack, and as he was about to throw another bolt of electricity, when Doug read the note "Big lipped alligator moment." A flash of light came, together with a puff sound, and suddenly, the surroundings was filled with yodeling music. Everybody looked around, and what met them was the Stu, dressed in a tutu, lederhosen and a sombrero, while he was dancing a ballet "What the hell is that." Was all that Doug could say.

"It's a big lipped alligator moment, it's basically a moment in a movie, that's over the top, has nothing to do with the story and no one wants to talk about afterwards. But let's talk about it later, put a prohibitor on him before the moment ends." Pete yelled. Doug nodded, and quickly clamped a prohibitor on the Stus wrist, before he sent him through a plothole, back to the society.

"Well, I guess that was that, we'll see you at the…" Anuhs didn't get to finish the sentence, before the Sues cars was blown up by Pete, who had activated his Lightdrake suit, and was now standing with his laser guns in his hands.

"No, we will not see you at the next spot, 'cause we're taking you down, and back to the society right now." Pete said. He and Jessie started walking towards the Sues, while Doug and Marcus readied 2 prohibitors to put on them when the time was right. Jessie had taken out 2 very long knifes, for him to fight with, plus, he had spun a disk that was installed in the buckle on his belt, which activated 2 Teslacoils on the belt, and started producing electricity.

Anuhs looked from the 2 riders, to the cars and back again, before he said "Angelina, take care of them, I'll get the parts." Angelina nodded, and started engaging in a hand to hand combat with Pete and Jessie. Anuhs hurried over to the remains of the car, and started looking in what was left of the trunks. He became very happy, when he discovered that the contents of the trunks, hadn't been destroyed. He quickly opened a plothole, and started throwing the tech parts through it.

Angelina proved to a tough opponent, she was easily taking on the 2 riders in brutal fist fight. Jessie and Pete did their best to defend themselves against the onslaught of punches and kicks, that was coming from the Sue. The riders tried to get her by doing a double attack, but Angelina knew how deal with that sort thing. She did a quick handstand, and spread her legs, making Pete and Jessie run straight into her feet, knocking the air out of them. Angelina then continued the attack by rotating, before sending the 2 riders flying. She giggled as she stood up and said "I thought you were good at fighting Pete, but you're nothing.".

"Or else you're just an idiot." Pete said as he and Jessie up "Mind giving me a bust?" Pete asked Jessie.

"Not at all." Jessie said as he folded his hands so Pete could stand up in it.

"Now what're you gonna do, acrobatics?" Angelina asked mockingly.

"Something like it." Pete said, before Jessie launched him into the air. While in the air, he drew his laser guns and started firing at the ground around the Sue, creating a dust cloud. This gave Jessie an opportunity to make a sliding, electrical tackle, which both shocked her and made her fall to the ground.

"Let's do this." Jessie said and gave the disk in his belt a more powerful spin, giving the Teslacoils even more power.

"Right." Pete replied and opened the buckle on his belt, making electricity travel from the lens to his foot. The 2 riders ran up to Angelina and kicked her while she was still dizzy from their earlier attack.

She landed near Anuhs, who was throwing the last tech part through the plothole. She slowly got to her feet and asked him "Are you done.".

Anuhs turned to Angelina and said with a perfect, evil smile on his face "Yes, and so are you." He took hold on Angelina, and threw her into the incoming society agents "Hope you enjoy your stay in the slammer tuts, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha." Anuhs said before jumping into the plothole, still laughing like crazy.

"I'll get back at you Weedy, you son of a bitch, I swear it!" Angelina yelled, as Doug clamped a prohibitor onto her wrist.


"So Anuhs Weedy got away, by throwing one of his own at you?" Tash asked, and looked up from the report, to the 4 people standing in front of her.

"Yes, but maybe we have a chance to know where he will strike next." Pete said.

"Aha, how?".

"Angelina, the one Anuhs threw after us, seems willing to betray him, after the way he treated her. So maybe if, maybe I talked to her a little, we could get one step ahead of the enemy." Pete suggested.

Tash seemed to think about the suggestion for a moment, before she said "Do it. We need all the help we can get, and if a Sue is willing to betray one of its own, it will only be to our advantage." Pete nodded, before he, Doug, Marcus and Jessie started walking out of the office "By the way Pete." Tash said.

"Yes." Pete said as he stopped at in the door, and turned to look at the society leader.

"What are you going to do about that character, your author send to help you out?".

"I guess he could crash in my room while he's here."

"Good, it's just so we know where we have him." Tash said, before going back to work. Pete nodded and started to walk towards the holding cells.


Angelina looked up as she heard the door to her cell open. It was Pete and Jessie who walked into the cell. Jessie was carrying a chair for himself, and Pete was carrying one for himself, and one for Angelina. Pete sat his chairs down, and gestured for Angelina to sit on one of them, which she did "What're you doing down here?" She asked.

"As weird as it may sound, we need your help." Pete said as he also sat down.

"The society, needs my help?" Angelina asked, surprised.

"You might be the only one who knows where Anuhs will surface next time. And you did say you wanted to get back at him, and well, here is your chance.".

"And what do I get out of it, I don't suppose you could…".

"No, even if I wanted to, I couldn't just take off the prohibitor, and let you escape. But maybe there is something I can do.".

"And that is?".

"I'll have to talk to somebody about it first, but if you give me the info I need, I'll do everything in my power to get you out, deal?" Pete asked, and held out a hand.

Angelina looked at the hand for a moment, before she finally took it and said "Deal, I don't exactly have much to loose." Angelina then told Pete which fandom Anuhs would pop up in next.


After telling Tash where to search for Anuhs, and showing Jessie where his room was, Pete opened the door to his room. He had to talk to his author personally, not just through a computer screen, and so he had made a quick decision, to take a trip to his authors mind world. He reached in between 2 bookcases, and pulled out a book, that was almost as big as he was. The book had a slot on the front, with 8 circles around it, making it look like some sort of code lock. He took the book under his arm, and went out of the room, heading in the direction of the library.

Pete was in such a hurry, to get to the library, that he didn't notice Charis coming around a corner, and crashed into her, falling on top of her.

"Hey, watch it." Charis said harshly. She then noticed who it was, and a light blush came to her cheeks.
"I'm sorry." Pete said, also sporting a slight blush. He got of Charis, and helped her up.

Charis said dusted herself off and asked "Where were you going in such a hurry?".

"I can't really tell you, I, I gotta go." Pete said, and quickly walked off, still a little red around the cheeks.
Charis looked after Pete for a moment, before she started walking her own way. She suddenly noticed something laying on the floor, which hadn't been there before. She picked it up, and what do you know, it was the gender bender "Pete must have dropped this, I better find him and give it back." Charis said to herself and started walking in the direction Pete had.

Pete entered an empty part of the library (Yeah, it's farfetched, but he had to go somewhere for Charis to follow). He went all the way to the back of the room, and put the book on a table. He then pulled the side of the books cover, to reveal a hidden compartment, in which a glowing blue, credit card like object was hidden. He took out the card, and closed the compartment. He then put the card into the slot, and started turning it, like you would on a safe.

Meanwhile, Charis had entered the same part of the library. She had seen the Pete walk in there at the last second, and followed him inside. She found him at the end of the room, messing around with the book, he had with him, but she couldn't clearly see what he was doing. She walked a few steps closer and asked "What're you doing Pete?".

Pete had just made the last turn of the dial, when he heard Charis talking to him. He quickly turned to tell her to go away, but it was too late. The book started glowing, and the card was absorbed into the book. The book opened and surrounded Pete and Charis with blue light, before sucking them both into it. The book closed up and disappeared also. The book reappeared in a very futuristic building, where it simply opened and spread its blue light across the floor, and made Pete and Charis reappear again.

Pete groaned as he stood up "I hate this way of traveling." He suddenly remembered Charis, and went over to check on her "Charis, are okay?" He asked.

Charis looked up at Pete with a mix of being surprised and sick "What happened, and why do I feel so sick?"

"I guess it's because we just got sucked/squeezed into another world." Pete said as he helped Charis sit up against the wall "You want something to drink?" Pete asked.

Charis nodded, and Pete went over to a vending machine, and soon came back with a couple of sodas. They stayed like this for a few minutes, until Charis felt well enough to stand up "So, where are we?" She asked, as she looked out one of the window, at the futuristic city.

"We're in my authors mind world." Pete said, and also looked out the window.

"It's really beautiful.".

"Yeah, it is." Pete looked at his watch and said "We better get going." He picked up the book, and went over to a disk that was floating in the middle of the room. He touched the disk, and a map, made out of rings appeared. He quickly aligned the rings, so they created a path to where his author was. The map was absorbed into the disk, and a section of the wall opened to reveal a tube with some sort of electronic rings around it "This way." Pete said as he started walking towards the tube.

"What is that?" Charis asked in awe as she looked at the tube.

"It's an A.G. tube, it's the transport system of this city." Pete said and jumped into the tube, where he stopped in midair, and stayed there "You coming, Charis?" He asked.

Charis nodded, and also jumped into the tube, where Pete instructed her to do a swimming motion, through the first ring. She did so, and when they passed through the ring, they were shot through the tube, as if out of a cannon. As they passed through the tube, Charis looked at the city and all its futuristic technology (You know, hover cars, robots, that sort of thing) and asked "Where do the city get its power from?"

"From the underground, they pump magma up from the earth, let it go under huge boilers, which boils the water in those boilers, the steam goes through a turbine, which makes the electricity, the city needs." Pete explained.

They were about to exit the tube, when Charis asked "Uh, Pete, how you stop this thing?".

"Don't worry." Pete said. At that moment, they were shot out of the tube, and landed in a pool of what looked and felt like jelly.

"Ew, what on earth is this?" Charis asked as she took a handful of the green, jelly like substance, and looked at it.

"It's called jell protect, and even though it looks like jelly, don't eat it, unless you wanna spend all day tomorrow in the bathroom." Pete said as he got out of the pool, and helped Charis out as well. After a short walk, Pete and Charis stopped in front of a huge set of doors "You better stay here, if you want to you can use the computer over there to go on the internet." Pete said and pointed at the computer a little away from them. Charis nodded, and went over to the computer. Pete went over to the doors, and opened a normal size door in one of the big ones, and went inside.

"What're you doing here?" The author asked as he got out of the bed he was laying on, putting a on it as he did so.

"I had to talk to you personally, I didn't want anyone eavesdrop on me while I talked to you." Pete said as he walked closer to his author.

"Well then, sit down." The author said, and gestured to 2 comfortable leather chairs. The both sat down, and the author asked "So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about Pete?"

"Well, you see…" Pete started to tell the author about what had happened in the Cannonball run fandom, and in Angelinas cell "So, you think you could do something for Angelina, and help us out in the next fandom?" Pete asked.

"I will see what I can do, but I will do something, I just have to find the right things. But take this and click it when something comes up." The author handed Pete a beacon, which looked like a round piece of metal, with a single button, and a small light attached to it.

"I will, and thanks." Pete said, and put the beacon in his pocket.

"Hey, if I didn't help the things I create, what kind of author would I be." The author said, as he got out of the chair, and walked back to the bed. Once there, he turned and said "Good luck Pete."

"Thank you, author." Pete said, and started walking to the door. When he reached the door, he looked back at the author, who lied down on the bed and started reading again. Pete just smiled, and walked out of the room.


The portal book reappeared in the empty part of the library, and spat out Charis and Pete. After catching their breath, Pete quickly said "Well, I better get back." And started walking out of the room with the book under his arm.

"Wait." Charis exclaimed. Pete turned around, and looked at her. Charis took out the Genderbender and said "You dropped this when we bumped into each other, that's why I followed you."

"Gee, thanks Charis." Pete said and returned to take the piece of equipment with him. But when he wrapped his hand around the device, he also wrapped it around Charis' hand, making them both blush. As they stood like this, Pete was thinking 'Oh god, why do this always happen when we accidentally touch, why, why. Could it be that I've come to love her, after that time where Marcus embarrassed us, no, could it, I'm not sure, I gotta do something, do something Pete, do something.'

As if on instinct, Pete slipped his other hand around Charis' neck, and pulled her into a deep, loving kiss. They stood like this for a few, long moments, before Pete realized what he was doing. He broke the kiss, and pulled away from Charis "I, I'm sorry." Pete said sheepishly, almost expecting a slap on the cheek from Charis.

"Don't be." Charis said, with a smile on her face "If you hadn't done it, I might have. I guess we both have developed feelings for each other."

Pete smiled at what Charis was saying. He then pulled Charis into another kiss, and once they finished, he asked her "So, do you think we should let the others know?".

"Let's keep them guessing for a little while longer, it'll much more fun to see the reaction when they find out." Charis said. Pete nodded. They then said goodbye to each other, and left the room, going in a different direction.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Insert Retconned Badass-Looking Warbler Here

"I'm not crazy!" Ben slammed his fist on the table. "Shirley knows I'm nuts to begin with! She doesn't have to recommend me to a therapist!"

"Calm down," said the therapist. "Start from the beginning and go slowly."

"I don't need - "

"Calm down," repeated the therapist. "Just start over."

Ben was clearly still aggravated. However, he took a breath and told the story from the top.


Pretty much everyone was falling asleep in Aster's class that day.

As a reward for Chrys getting 110% on her last test, Aster in excitement had given her the option to choose what anime or manga they would learn next (provided they hadn't already done it). This however turned out to be a very, very bad idea...

...Because Chrys had Aster do Axis Powers Hetalia.

Aster hated Hetalia with a burning passion. She hated yaoi, and because yaoi was somewhat the point of Hetalia (albeit being crack-inspired, historically-based yaoi) it was a waste of time. So Aster seemed like she was on the verge of falling asleep herself. She lazily went on with the lecture, not caring whether anyone was dozing off or having Yu-Gi-Oh! battles under the table (she did like the anime, just not the card game), and constantly going off on tangents about weather and recent events...and only Chrys was into it, throwing bits of chalk at Aster to get her to work harder.

Aster dismissed the class thirty minutes early, under the excuse that she had paperwork to do. Nobody bothered to argue, and so while Aster whomped herself onto the couch, the computers flashed with alarm.

Aster picked herself up and went to the computer to see. Her eyes went bigger with confusion, then shock.

"Black*Rock Shooter? The anime hasn't even been released yet! There's barely any plot at this point besides wild guessing! How is this even a fandom?"

Chrys went to the computer as well. "Well, a lot of people are throwing around ideas about which characters from the original artist's blog will make the anime, so it's easy for someone to make one up..."

"Hmph." Aster folded her arms. "Well, I wish luck to the person who goes in there. Nobody's gonna know anything about how to get around…"

"It might be to our advantage if the Sue doesn't know what she's doing in an unknown fandom," said Doug. "We just need anyone who seems to have any hint of what's going on. And I guess that would be Chrys and Aster…"

But Chrys was shaking her head rapidly.

"Too many guns," she said. "Guns. Swords. Lots of fighting. It's scary."

"Is there someone with a huge gun or bomb or something?" asked Aster, looking around. "Dougくん…? Oh wait, you're in a wheelchair…"

"Everyone turns to me for the explosives," he said.

"Well?" Aster turned around. "Hey, maybe Ben can do it…"

"It looks like a shoujo manga to me," said Ben.

"Trust me, when you see the amount of guns here…The lead character has a cannon strapped to her arm. And has a fire shooting out of her eye. And the enemy has a scythe. We need explosives…"


"Ben," said the therapist, sighing, "you do know that Aster explained Black*Rock Shooter last night in detail, and I don't ever remember you going out, and Chrys would most likely be okay with going, so maybe you were just – "

"Let me finish."


"I'm a little scared," said Adrian, "that we're putting the fate of this fandom in the hands of Aster and Ben…"

"Ah, don't worry, they'll be fine," assured Tash.

"Why are you being more assured than usual?" said Adrian.

"And why are you being more hyperactive than usual?"

"INTO THE FANDOM WE GO!" yelled Aster, cutting across the two leaders and hopping in. Ben shrugged and followed her.

"So how do we get in?" said Ben, looking at her.

"Er," said Aster, tugging at her lip. "Kyaa~…er, it's a new fandom…I don't know how to get around here…"

When the two emerged, they were standing on what looked like a huge chessboard. There was music playing in the background.

"Ugh, what the hell is that?" said Ben, who had forgotten to bring his headphones.

"That's the Black*Rock Shooter song. The one the anime was based on. I guess this is a songfic…"

And sure enough, the words "Black*Rock Shooter" were quite prominent in the song.

"That singer sings high," complained Ben. "She's got a peachy voice. It's like a girl on acid."

"Don't you dare insult Mikuちゃん kyaa," asserted Aster. "She's a VOCALOID. And you get used to the high-pitchedness."

Ben wasn't so sure. To his ears which were trained for hard metal and guitars, Hatsune Miku was hell on his ears.

"There! There they are!" pointed Aster. She pointed her finger, and sure enough, there were two girls there.

The first girl had her hair in twin-tails, with shocking electric blue eyes. She had a sword in one hand and was panting. To top it off, she was chained to the wall, and was staring at the other girl with what seemed to be a strange mixture of contempt and despair. This was Black*Rock Shooter, the girl who had stood as the icon of drooling otaku for around a year now.

The one standing next to her had her hair let down and two large horns coming out of her head, along with a scythe in her hand. Her eyes were bright green, but they looked empty. She was the Dead Master. Black*Rock Shooter's beloved sister, who somehow had become possessed by something and now had a desire to kill B*RS.

Black*Rock Shooter stared at her sister with a blank face, and suddenly began to struggle. The chains snapped off as she wrenched them off. The Dead Master stepped back in shock.

As Black*Rock Shooter went for her sword, the flame came out of her eye and the cannon appeared on her arm. She had to fire the blow that would kill her sister – for it was the only way to save her. There was no third option…

…when someone intervened.

A slender girl also clad in black came between Black*Rock Shooter and her sister holding a very long sword.

"Isn't that a katana?" said Ben, watching as the second verse of Black*Rock Shooter played in the background.

"Yeah, I think so," said Aster.

Ben's communicator beeped and Ben turned it on to see a Cristoph who looked like he was about to strangle the two.

"It's a tsurugi, you morons!" he yelled before the communicator switched off.



"Mmhm," said the therapist, who was still taking notes.

"That's not even the half of it! I mean, seriously, why does he get worked up over a sword?"

"He is a ninja," said the therapist. "He has a right to be picky."


The new black-haired girl (because pretty much everyone in the Black*Rock Shooter fandom seemed to be black-haired) appraised B*RS and the Dead Master with her vivid silver eyes. Her hair was short in a bob unlike the two long-haired girls around her.

She turned to face Black*Rock Shooter.

"My name is Black Hunter Wall," said the girl. "I am here to tell you something. You don't have to kill your sister."

Black*Rock Shooter stared, somewhat transfixed by the arrival of this new girl. "I…"

And while both girls were standing there, the Dead Master not moving for some strange, unknown reason, the new girl explained the black thing possessing the Dead Master and how there was some way to get it out…

And meanwhile the song of Black*Rock Shooter came to an end. Ben gave a sigh of relief…

…when the song started again from the beginning.

Ben wanted to strangle someone.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" yelled Aster, pointing her staff at Black Hunter Wall. "We're from the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society, and you're under arrest!"

The Mary Sue looked at them and smiled.

"That didn't take you very long for you to find me."

She looked at Black*Rock Shooter. "You do want your sister back, right?"

"Of course!"

"Those two are in the way."

Hearing Black Hunter Wall's logic, Black*Rock Shooter sprang at the two Agents with the fire erupting from her eye. She aimed the cannon at the two.

Ben pointed at Black*Rock Shooter. "Don't mess with nukes!"

A nuke appeared in midair and aimed itself for B*RS. The girl was used to such disruptions, however, and she jumped up and avoided it.

"Hyah!" Aster in fae form charged at B*RS, swinging her staff, but B*RS was used to avoiding the Dead Master's scythe. (By the way, the Dead Master was just sort of standing there dumbly.)
Black Hunter Wall snickered and started to run off, but while Aster was busy distracting B*RS, Ben bounded after the Sue, who pulled out her tsurugi.

"A tsurugi's not going to be effective against what I'm about to do!" yelled Ben. "My coffeemakers are not controlled by Hoover Dam computers!"

The floodgates opened, releasing the stream of coffee. Black Hunter Wall, with intense agility, bounded up onto the nearby rock and sprung against the wall in a leap against Ben.

Ben easily dodged it, but It became clear that Black Hunter Wall was not aiming for him. Black Hunter Wall had landed right next to the Dead Master.

"Better make this quick," said Black Hunter Wall. She pulled out a deck of cards that read "TVtropes".

Damn it, thought Ben. TVtropes spell…


"TVtropes spell?"

The therapist blinked and stared at Ben, who nodded. "You've never heard of them? They invoke those against us…"

"I think you're just making it up."

"I'm not crazy!" insisted Ben.


Out of the deck, Black Hunter Wall pulled out one card entitled "I Know You're In There Somewhere Fight". She placed it on the Dead Master's head. It absorbed into her the same way a Copyright would.

The Dead Master blinked and soon she was back to her old B*RS's-sister-self. "Where am I?"

"Look, they're killing your sister," said Black Hunter Wall, pointing to B*RS.

The Dead Master sprinted off to go help B*RS.

Faced with two super-powered girls, one with a cannon and sword and one with a scythe, Aster was clearly losing the battle. Ben was forced to go help her.

The Black*Rock Shooter song was on its bridge now, the highest part of the whole song. Ben had an increasing urge to cover his ears as Miku sang higher and higher…

"Ah well. Might as well finish them off themselves. It's better to get my job off my back now than to deal with them later," said Black Hunter Wall.

"Aren't you – supposed – to try and just run off and save yourself?" said Ben as he pried the Dead Master off Aster.

"Nah. It's no fun that way."

Trying to accept this new development, Ben now had to assist Aster in fighting off three girls as the huge thing erupted.

"And that music is – driving – me – insane – " went Ben as he continued fighting.

Suddenly things started to get really crazy when Black*Rock Shooter's cannon started to fire golf balls.

"The hell?" said Ben.

"I don't remember this from the anime!" yelled Aster.

It got even weirder when the golf balls started catching fire.

"THE HELL?" yelled Aster. "I really do not remember this!"

What made it even worse was that the Dead Master's scythe also started firing golf balls (wait, firing?) and going everywhere.


The music continued playing in the background.



"…and the rest is history," said Ben.

The therapist blinked.

"You didn't tell me how you captured the Sue…"

"I assume she escaped," said Ben, waving his hand.

The therapist sighed.

"Ben, seriously," she said, taking off her glasses (she didn't need them, they were all for show).

Ben's jaw dropped.

"Bella?" he complained. "What are you doing here? They told me the therapist's name was – "

"Well, the Society's not too keen on people being named after Twilight characters…" She shrugged. "I'm Lily now, for future reference. Lily Adamson. Also taken out of Random Name Generator."

Ben sighed.

"Ben, I'll tell you what happened. Last night Aster went into excessive detail about Black*Rock Shooter when explaining things and you had a large swig of Firebrand Whiskey before you went to bed and…"

"I DID NOT!" yelled Ben. "You're trying to brainwash me! I was there! I – "

He turned around to see Aster with a golf ball.

"See? She's there! She'll prove it! She – "

In his rush to get to her, Ben tripped over and fell on his face. He was knocked unconscious.

Aster looked at the white chocolate truffle in her hand and shrugged shortly before Chrys took it. Lily put her head in her hands and sighed.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Insert Random Scream of Pain Here (part 5 of 5)

Ben let his body go slack, hoping he could cushion the blow and protect Bella as much as he could from the falling rock. Suddenly, there was a whoosh of air and a crushing sound. Ben looked up to see Asasca standing over them, sword drawn with stone fragments raining down around them harmlessly.

"Can't have you dying on me," Asasca smirked. "All my hard work would go to waste."

Ben opened his mouth to say something, but Asasca cut him off, holding out his Plothole Generator. "This one has the safeguards removed." He explained.

Ben decided to save the questions for later and grabbed the Generator from Asasca. Firing, he threw himself and Bella through the resulting portal. Both winced as they hit the floor of the Library Arcanium and were thrust from the darkness of the cave into light.

Ben got to his feet slowly, his head slightly spinning.

"Are you OK?" He asked as he helped Bella to her feet. "I think so," She replied, looking around. "But..."

Ben followed her gaze to see Tyler and Pete sitting on a nearby couch, both with Xbox controllers in hand.

"Bella, get behind me." Ben said urgently as Pete and Tyler got to their feet, eyeing the two as one would a wild animal.

"Ben?" A voice gasped behind him. He spun to see Tash with a confused, slightly fearful look on her face. "What are you-?" She blinked. "Is that Bella?"

Ben opened his mouth. "I-"

"I thought you killed her!"


"Ben, look out!"

Ben turned at Bella's warning just in time to take a kick to the head from Pete's Darkhopper form. The blow knocked him back against a wall and when his vision cleared, he saw a black fist rushing towards him. He ducked and Pete's fist slammed straight through the wall where his head had been seconds before.

Pete pulled his fist back for another blow, only to find a crouching Ben with a finger pointed straight at him.

"Um...Ben?" Bella called uncertainly as she kept an energized palm on Tyler and Tash each.

"Tash," Ben said calmly, keeping his eye and finger fixed on Pete. "Believe me when I say this isn't what it looks like."

"Then what is it supposed to look like?" Tash demanded, keeping her own gaze on Bella. "First you try to nuke everybody, then you show up here again with a Mary-Sue who's supposed to be dead! What is going on here, Ben?"

Ben gritted his teeth. "I-"

Pete, sensing hesitation, slammed his knee into the crouching Ben's face, sending him sprawling.

"Ben!" Bella shouted, taking her gaze off Tash.

Tyler, following Pete's lead, fired a spell at Bella. The magic blast knocked her into Tash who quickly restrained her.

"Nice work, Tyler!" Tash said as he started forward, Prohibitor in hand.

Ben saw what Tyler was trying to do and started to get to his feet, only to have Pete knock him down again.

"Looks like it's light's out for you, traitor." Pete growled, pulling back a fist for another strike.

Ben squeezed eyes shut and braced himself for the blow.

"Enough!" Adrian's voice ripped through the air as he and the rest of the strike force walked in, with Asasca and Shirley tagging along behind them. Shirley looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"Tash, let her go." Adrian said to the blonde leader. "And you too, Pete."

"But, Adrian-!" Pete objected as Tash released the Sue.

"Just do it!" Adrian cut him off. "There's been a... development."

Ben got to his feet slowly, touching his face gingerly.

"Your nose is bleeding." Adrian noted.

Ben dabbed at his nostrils and groaned as his fingers came away stained with blood. "Not again..."

"C'mon, let's get you to Valerie." Adrian said. "You can explain everything there."

"You're coming too!" He said to Asasca. "You've got your share of explaining to do as well."

Asasca donned his innocent face again.

Adrian turned to everyone else. "The rest of you round everyone up for a meeting. There's another matter we're going to have to deal with..."


Valerie was stocking the Society's pharmacy of painkillers and other assorted medical paraphernalia when the group walked in.

She turned around, blinking in surprise when she spotted Ben.

"Ben?" She asked, confused. "What are you-" Then she spotted Bella, and her eyes widened. "Bella? What is going on here?"

"That's what were wondering ourselves." Adrian said, folding his arms. "We got part of the story from Shirley, but there's still a lot Ben needs to tell us."

Ben sat down on one of the beds with Bella next to him. He grasped the Sue's hand in his own, took a deep breath and began to speak as Valerie went to work on his nose.

"And that's what happened." Ben finished, not meeting anyones gaze.

The words had barely left his mouth when a loud *SMACK!* sounded through the room and his head was snapped to one side.

"Woah! Tash!" Adrian exclaimed as he pulled Tash back from Ben, a red palm print plastered across his face.

"What is wrong with you!" Tash raged. "Why didn't you tell us what was going on? If you'd just been honest with us from the very start we might've avoided all of this!"

"Sorry..." Ben muttered, rubbing his face where Tash had slapped him.

"You should be!" Tash barked, shrugging Adrian's restraining hand off. "God, do you have any idea how worried everyone was? Jared was agonizing over what he would do if he had to fight you! Karissa looks up to you, how do you think she felt during all of this? Not to mention that you terrified poor Emily half to death when you and Repiv held her hostage!"

"Settle down, Tash." Valerie said soothingly as Ben stared blankly at the floor. "Ben did make some foolish decisions, but everything turned out all right in the end, didn't it?"

Tash snorted and folded her arms, still angry.

"There's something I'm still wondering about, Ben," Valerie said, turning to face the guitarist. "I can understand why you didn't come to us when you first defeated Bella, but why didn't you say anything when Neb kidnapped her?"

"Because... I wasn't sure if you would care." Ben said sullenly.

Tash let out an outraged squeak and started towards Ben again, only to be restrained by Adrian.

"Easy, Tash..." he said placating.

"You weren't sure if we'd care?" Tash demanded. "You weren't sure if we'd care!"

"If I'd told you," Ben protested. "You would've-"

"We would've done everything in our power to help both you and Bella." Adrian replied calmly. "If we're going to win this war, we have to be willing to help, and trust each other!"

"You're forgetting something, Ben," Valerie put in. "We don't want to just capture or kill the Sues, we're trying to reform them. We want them to give up their powers and live normally as characters, and from what I've heard, Bella already did that voluntarily when she lived the the world you made for her."

Bella looked at the healer hopefully as Ben nodded thoughtfully. Then something occured to him.

"How did you know where to find us?" He asked, turning to Adrian. "Even I had no clue where we were!"

"That was my fault." Tash explained. "Valerie came to me a little after Repiv joined. She had noticed you were acting strangely and was concerned about you. I was worried too, so I had Camille install a tracker in Bahamut while she was working on it."

"We were able to track you right from the get-go once you left." Adrian agreed. "Of course we got lost in those caves for what seemed like forever. We finally managed to find Shirley and she pointed us to you."

"I see..."

"So is that it, then?" Valerie asked, looking around. "Has everything been cleared up?"

"Not entirely," Ben said, turning to face Asasca. His character was leaning in a corner behind them, watching the entire exchange with a silent, confident smile.

"What role did you play in all of this?" Ben asked.

"What role did I play?" Asasca smirked, pushing himself off the wall and walking towards them. "You should be asking what role didn't I play?"

"What do you mean?" Ben asked warily.

"Who do you think told Neb where to find you in the Pendragon fandom? Or how to get into the mansion in your imagination? Or even where Bella's little world was?"

"That was you?" Ben gaped.

That was all me!" Asasca corrected.

"But why?" Ben sputtered. "Revenge for being locked up in the Vault of Abandoned Ideas?"

Asasca shrugged. "Not entirely. That part was a lie."

Ben frowned. "So how did you-"

"When you started your transition to fanfiction," Asasca cut in. "I saw all your favorite characters vanishing one by one from your imagination, all bound for the Vault. The fact that I was your absolute favorite character prevented me from being consigned to the Vault too quickly, but I knew it was only a matter of time. So, I used the power you had granted me to escape. I wandered the Multiverse for a while, instigating a few minor rebellions here and there and doing some sightseeing. That was when I encountered the Sues. As time went on, I met more and more of them and it became more and more apparent to me that if they were allowed to take over the Multiverse, it would become a dull, lifeless place, free from any excitement or originality." Asasca rolled his eyes. "And to someone like me, that would be unimaginably boring."

"So you did this purely out of selfish motivations." Adrian accused.

Asasca shrugged, unashamed. "When I found you again, Ben, you were already dedicated to fighting the Sues. That was one part of my job done, so then it was time for me to do what I did best. I had to make you as powerful as you could possibly become. Since you were a self-insert and thus, an author, you were immune to my usual forms of empowerment, so I had to...adapt." He smiled condescendingly at Ben. "And I must say, this little scheme of mine was one of the most enjoyable I've had in a long time."

Asasca began to pace back and forth like a lecturer as he continued. "I told Neb how to find you in Pendragonin the hopes that when faced with an adversary of his level, you would rise to the occasion and find the power to defeat him. Unfortunately, you didn't and you had to be rescued by your little friends." Asasca raised an eyebrow. "Apparently your own life isn't very precious to you."

"Hanging around with Shirley will do that to you." Ben replied dryly, keeping his eyes on Asasca.

Asasca continued. "I reasoned that if your life wasn't very important to you, then the life of your loved ones would be. So I showed Neb the way into your imagination and sent him after Deebs in order to lure you to the Megaman fandom. Unfortunately, you remained in the real world as a NetOperator as your friends fought for the life of your daughter in your place. Not very chivalrous, I'm afraid." He said mockingly to his creator.

Ben ignored the taunt and continued to meet Asasca's gaze levelly.

"I searched long and hard to find the solution to your particular problem, Ben. And the answer," He pointed at Bella. "Was her."

"Me?" Bella asked incredulously.

"Since I was a former character of Ben's and by far one of his most powerful, it was easy to slip back inside his mind. I searched Ben's imagination for a long time, looking for something I could use as an incentive. Imagine my happy surprise when I realized that you were still alive! You were the perfect bait, and with you I could finally move ahead with my plans."

He turned back to Ben." "I cut you off from your friends using Repiv and took something precious from you with Neb. And then," Asasca smiled triumphantly. "You had something do die for."

He flopped onto a nearby chair, crossing his legs and lacing his hands behind his head as he continued. "In the end, you in spectacular style. I especially liked the way you tore off Neb's arm."

"Well you know me," Ben muttered sarcastically. "I'm all about style."

Asasca showed his condescending smile again. "Quite."

"But what about Neb and Repiv?" Tash frowned. "Repiv was-"

"Repiv was a bungler." Asasca scoffed. "I purposely assigned him a task which was far beyond his abilities, knowing that when he failed he would grab at anything he could to keep himself afloat, dragging it down with him. And in his case, the only thing he had to grab onto was Ben."

"How did you get Repiv andgo follow your orders in the first place?" Adrian asked.

"I discovered Repiv on the edge of a Role-Playing fandom," Asasca explained. "Of course then he was known as Viper. His creator had grown disgusted with him and abandoned him. He was on the edge of being consigned to the Vault of Abandoned Ideas when I offered him an out, which he wisely took. And since he owed me a life debt, he did anything I told him to without question. So I changed his name to Repiv and sent him to the Protection Society, whom I was already on good terms with."

"You were on good terms with them?" Ben asked skeptically. "How did that happen?"

"I was the one who gave them Neb."


Asasca laughed. "I know what you're thinking. 'Why would you do that?', right?"

Ben said nothing, but agreement was written all over his face.

"When I was pondering over how to unlock your true potential," Asasca told him. "I decided that the best way to do it was to confront you with a foe who was: A. Extremely powerful and B. Had some personal link to you. And what enemy is more personal than yourself?"

"But how did you find him?" Ben asked.

"Easy, I just used some of the powers you so generously gave me and hopped over to his alternate dimension to track him down."

"But how did you get him to go along with your plans? Neb wasn't exactly the type to take orders from anyone."

Asasca smirked. "You're going to love this. Neb wanted even more power than what he already had, and I told him that if he destroyed you, then your power would be added to his."

"He would be The One?" Ben asked dryly.

Asasca flashed his condescending smile and shrugged in fake modesty. "At any rate, my plan has succeeded. You have now reached the apex of your strength, Ben. You've become as powerful as it is possible for you to become."

He stood and dusted off his armor. "And with that, my job here is done. If I could have my Plothole Generator back..."

"Hey!" Tash protested. "You can't just-"

"Let him go." Adrian said as Ben handed Asasca the Generator. "Who knows? He could prove useful later on down the road."

"Where are you going?" Ben asked as Asasca opened a plothole. Asasca turned back to his author, still smiling condescendingly.

"You should know the answer to that, Ben."

Ben nodded as his greatest creation vanished into the Multiverse. "Wherever the wind takes you..."

Nobody said anything for a long time. Ben continued to stare at the place where Asasca had vanished, a contemplative look on his face.

"Well, that's one issue taken care of." Adrian said at last, breaking the silence. "Now there's just one other detail to deal with."

Adrian's words had brought Ben back to reality. "And what would that be?" He asked, though he had a sinking feeling he already knew.

"Deciding what to do with her." Adrian said, nodding towards Bella.

Ben's eyes hardened and he gave Bella's hand a reassuring squeeze as she gravitated closer to him.

"Come on." Adrian said, walking out with Tash close behind him.

Ben stood silently. Bella followed suit, giving a pleading look towards Valerie who gave her a reassuring smile.
"Don't worry." She mouthed to the Sue. Bella wasn't convinced,


Shirley and the rest had done their job well. The entire Society was gathered in one of the commons area and there was a chorus of gasps and questions when Ben and Bella walked in.

"Ben? What's he-?"

"Hey, isn't that-?"

"I thought she was dead!"

Adrian held up his hands for quiet and the buzz quickly died down. He gave everyone a quick synopsis of what had happened and why Ben had done what he did, though he skipped over the parts with Asasca.

"The question now is, what are we going to do with Bella?" Adrian asked. "If it were just up to me, I would make the decision in a heart-beat. But the Library is no longer only my home, it is yours too, and as such, I leave the decision up to you." With that he sat down.

There was silence for a long moment.

"Should we really just let a Mary-Sue just walk right into the Society like that?" Michael asked uncomfortably.

"Why not?" Aster challened. "We let Emily in, didn't we?"

"Emily's powers as a Sue hadn't fully developed yet." Drake said. "We're talking about a fully developed Mary-Sue here. How do we know we can trust her?"

"Weren't you listening?" Karissa demanded. "Bella willingly gave up her powers at one point!"

"Bella isn't a bad person." Valerie put in. "All she wanted to do was help people, she just went about it in the wrong way."

"OK, fair enough." Christoph conceded. "But what about Lord Ben? I mean, fraternizing with the enemy? Why isn't he in bigger trouble over all of this?"

"Ben's a self-insert just like most of us here," Tash said. "He's subject to fan urges just like the rest of us, and I should know!"

"Which brings us back to Bella." Valerie said. "We can't throw her in jail because that wouldn't be fair. We can't just let her go because the Protection Society will be after her. And I'm sure by now they've told the rest of the Sues about what Bella did, so what else are we supposed to do?"

The healer turned to Adrian. "I know you said this isn't your decision, Adrian. but how do you feel about all of this?"

Adrian turned to look at Bella for a long moment. "Ben was willing to die for her." He said at last. "That's enough for me."

Nobody could think of how to argue with that.

"But how do we know we can trust her?" Marcus asked at last.

"Oh, for the love of God," Charis groaned. She had been pulled away from an important experiment for this and was impatient to get back to work. "If you're that worried about her, why don't you just Permanently Prohibit her?"

There was a pause. "Is that even possible?" Ben asked at last.

"You've been an Agent for how long and you still don't know these things?" Charis asked disbelievingly.

Ben shrugged. "I've only ever used one other gadget besides my Plothole Generator and I wasn't even writing that part of the story!"

Immediately there was a rumble and the sound of things breaking. Adrian groaned. "He hasn't even been back for an hour and he's already at it again!"

"Just what is Permanent Prohibition anyway?" Tash asked, ignoring Adrian.

Charis shrugged. "At the moment, it's still a prototype. I was just working on it a second ago myself. It's a new type of Prohibitor. It works in the same way as regular Prohibition, except it releases magic that's absorbed through the skin. After about two hours have passed, any and all Sueish powers or traits will be gone. Forever." Charis cast an appeasing eye over Bella. "This would be the perfect opportunity to test it."

Ben frowned. "If this thing works so great, why haven't you used it on the Sues in the basement yet?"

Charis looked uncomfortable. "Mostly because it has to be voluntary."


"Because compared to a regular Prohibitor, a Permanent Prohibitor is extremely easy to take off."

Ben frowned. "I don't think-"

"Ben," Bella said quietly. "It's all right. I was thinking about what you said in Buso Renkin and you're right." She looked at her hand. "If all these powers are going to do is hurt people, then I don't want them anymore." She looked up at Charis. "If it's the only way I can stay with Ben, then, I'll do it."


"We were separated once before." Bella said, meeting Ben's gaze. "I don't want us ever to be apart again."

Ben still looked concerned.

"I'll be fine." Bella reassured him. "This won't do anything else to me, right?"

Charis shook her head. "All it will do is block off any Sue-ish traits in you. Anything else about you will be unchanged."

The rest of the Society began to murmur amongst themselves Camille left to go get the prototype.

Jared walked up to Ben and Bella, grinning with relief. "You did it for love, huh Ben?" He asked. "That sounds like the type of stupid thing you'd do."

Ben returned the grin. "Sorry to put you through all of that." He frowned. "You look pale. You OK?"

Jared shook his head. "A lot happened while you were gone. I'll tell you about it later. By the way, there's someone who wants to talk to you."

Ben frowned. "Who?"


Ben turned to see Shirley, looking very miserable.

"I'm sorry, Ben!" She said in a rush. "But I had to tell Adrian what was going on or else they'd keep on thinking you were a traitor and attack you so-"

"Shirley, Shirley!" Ben cut her off, laughing. "It's OK, girl. I don't blame you. You did what you had to do. No hard feelings."

Shirley looked hopeful. "So... I'm forgiven then?"

Ben grinned. "Yeah, you're forgiven."
"Good! Then I can add your larynx to my collection for making me worry like that!" The Cliche Stick roared, lunging forward.

Ben stumbled and fell backwards in shock as Shirley loomed over him. "This is for nearly nuking me!" Shirley hissed, raising one clawed hand, when a hand clamped down on her shoulder.

"Hey, twiggy!" Bella snapped. "Hands off my boyfriend!"

"Your boyfriend?" Shirley whirled to face the Sue. "As I recall you nearly ended up killing him at least a dozen different times!"

"Oh, yeah? And how many times have you nearly killed him?"

Ben could only sit on the floor, stunned, watching the two females bicker.

"You know, Ben," Jared muttered to his friend. "Shirley may be cool, Bella may be hot, but right now I wouldn't be in your position for the world."

"You sure about that?" Ben asked nervously. "Because I'm pretty sure I could make a world or two for you."

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Bella and Shirley shouted, both whirling on Ben.



Ekard and Relyt stood before a shadowy figure in a dark room.

"We've failed you, Sir. We have no excuse." Relyt apologized, his head bowed.

"No matter," The figure sighed. "It would've been nice to have the Fandom Stabilizer for our own, but que sera sera. It appears we broke even in this particular venture."

"Broke even?" Relyt asked. "We lost Neb!"

The figure made a dismissive gesture. "Neb was always too obsessed with Ben to ever really be an asset. I should be thanking Ben for ridding us of some useless baggage."

Ekard and Relyt shared a glance. "So then what do we do next?" Ekard asked.

"Now?" The figure asked. "Now we wait."


"Well, here we are." Ben said, opening the door to Bella's room and flipping on the light. He stood in the doorway as she walked in and observed her new quarters.

"It's not much." Ben admitted. "It's pretty bare, but all the girls volunteered to donate some stuff. You know, so you can girl the place up a little. I did manage to wrangle you a room next to mine though."

"I see." Bella said softly, keeping her back to Ben, the Prohibitor on her wrist glinting slightly. "So, that's it? They're letting me stay here just like that?"

"I talked with Adrian and Tash while you were being Prohibited." Ben said, leaning against the doorjamb. "You will have some restrictions placed on you, but they're pretty much just going through the motions. In addition to your Prohibiting, you won't be allowed outside the Library without an escort of another agent, plus you're banned from the basement where we keep the other-" Ben caught himself. "-The Sues. They also want you to study up on Sue theory so you can take the test we give to potential Agents. That way you have a legitimate claim to be here. But I figure those things shouldn't be a big deal."

"No..." Bella said quietly. "I guess not..."

Ben frowned. "Is everything all right?"

"I guess I'm just a little tired," Bella said, rubbing her wrist where the Prohibitor rested. "It feels like this thing's sapping my energy."

"That's not it," Ben said, walking forward into the room, stopping a few feet behind Bella. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, it's just..." Bella stared off into space, her back still to Ben. "When I first escaped from my Author's control all I saw was misery and pain in the fandoms I visited, and I wanted to save them from that. But you ended up showing me that wasn't right. You gave me a place where I could learn what it meant to be human, and you rescued me from the Protection Society and I..."

"You what?" Ben asked gently.

"I'm looking around at all of this. Everything you've done for me. All these allowances Tash and Adrian have made just for me, and I'm wondering...why? Why me? Why did you choose to help me? Why did you...just why?" Her voice was soft and her back was to Ben, but he could hear the quaver in her voice.

"I saved you because you were worth saving." Ben said softly, moving closer. "I gave you your own world because I wanted you to experience all the joys and sorrows of mortality that I do. I brought you here because I want to give you your own wings and watch you fly with them. I saw something in you during our battle in Buso Renkin and I don't want anyone to take that away."

"But how do you know you're not feeling this way just because I'm a Sue?" Bella asked, turning to face him. "Tash said you were susceptible to fan urges! How do you know you're not just feeling that and as soon as this Prohibitor goes into effect you'll start to hate me again?" She asked, holding up the wrist the Prohibitor was attached to.

"Bella." Ben said gently, placing his hands on her shoulders. "I never hated you! Is that what you're worried about? That our love is a lie?"

Bella couldn't look at Ben, fixing her gaze on the floor instead.

Ben took a deep breath.

"Listen," he said. "Before I came to visit you and this whole fiasco started, I had a talk with Aster. As ashamed as I am to admit it, I was wondering the same thing myself. I was unsure if I was really in love with you or your powers. But Aster said something that made me stop and think. She said: 'If you can't trust those you care for, who can you trust?"

Ben crooked a finger under Bella's chin, raising her head back up. The Mary-Sue's eyes were brimming with tears and shone with fear as she met the Society Agent's gentle gaze.

"We can't let doubts plague us." Ben said softly. "We've come too far to let little things like that get in the way. I love you, Bella."

He lowered his head to meet hers and their lips gently pressed together. A single tear escaped from Bella's eye and slid down her cheek.

"But how do you know?" Bella whispered insistently, her eyes still closed.

Ben pointed at the clock.

"It's been two hours."

Bella opened her eyes and stared into Ben's face for a moment longer before bursting into tears.

Ben gently wrapped his arms around her shaking form and tucked her head under his chin, inhaling the gentle scent of her hair.

"Welcome home, Bella."

Monday, February 20, 2012

Insert Places Where No Man Has Gone Before Here

Jared and Chloe were running for their lives through the Library Arcanium.

They had come in the night.

Due to the fact Adrian did not need to sleep, he had managed to sound the alarm indicating the library was under attack. But even with the advance warning half of the Society had fallen before any resistance could be formed.

The air was very humid and ambient green light was seen everywhere. Sparks of electricity would occasionally burst and light up the room, emanating from various mechanical elements of the Library. Toppled bookshelves and broken furniture lay everywhere.

"Faster Chloe," Jared urged. "If we can just make it to my tech lab we can use Chevila to escape!" He said, hoping it was true.

"But what about all our friends?" Chloe sobbed. "Did you see what happened to Tash! We have to do something!"

"I'm sure most of them made it to Adrian's panic room." Jared replied. "It's already been put under lockdown so it's too late for us to try to get in. There's nobody left in the library that we can help or receive help from, I'm not even sure we can help ourselves! The only thing we can do right now is escape to the safest fandom possible, maybe we could contact someone like Doug's author and form a rescue force of some kind."

When Jared and Chloe rounded the corner they saw what they both had been hoping to avoid. Several mechanical beings stood in the hall blocking their progress.

"We are the Borg, You're existence as you know it is over. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated." The voice came from from every drone, speaking in unison. Jared and Chloe froze at the sudden shock of seeing the beings responsible for the destruction all around them. Chloe recovered her senses first.

"Assimilate this you Borg piece of trash!" She yelled. "Enchanto!" She summoned her shield while charging at the drones, blades extending from the edges of the shield at her touch. At first it looked like she was going to very easily defeat them as her bladed weapon cut down one Borg after another. But after a couple of blows the Borg adapted to the physical assault and she bounced right off of some kind of shielding around the drone she had lunged at.

"Techtonic Shift!" Jared yelled, stomping the ground. The ground shook and the Borg all lost their balance.
Jared's earth powers were much weaker when he didn't actually have any earth to send his waves through, but they still worked. Jared took this opportunity to cut and run, pulling Chloe along by her arm. With the ramp to the science hall cut off, he was going to have to detour by using the stairs by Charis' lab.

Jared and Chloe ran into the kitchen; going way out of their way in hopes of avoiding more drones. Unfortunately they had underestimated the sheer number of drones constantly pouring in through the Library's shattered defenses. They ran smack dab in the middle of several drones busy breaking down the kitchen appliances into raw material.

They began to say"Resistance is futile" but they never got past "fut" because Jared suddenly unleashed everything he had into the room with a shout of "Magnitude 10!" causing every cabinet to splinter, every table to blow apart and every appliance to explode.

The drones fell, either dead or crippled. Dust filled the air. Jared had to stop and rest after releasing such a powerful burst. It was five minutes before he felt like he could move again. They ran through the doorway to the kitchen when a drone they hadn't spotted before before reached out and grabbed Chloe, tubes shooting out of its arm and puncturing her neck. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she fell to the ground with a weak cry of "Jared..."

Jared kept running, scared almost senseless, he couldn't bear to look back and see his fallen partner. There was nothing he could do to help her, she would become one of them now. Jared promised to himself that he was going to come back, and he would bring everything he could with him. The Borg would pay for this he swore, trying to do everything he could keep himself from falling over and having a nervous breakdown right in the middle of the Library's periodical section.

When he finally got to his tech lab and flung open the door he gasped in horror. The lab was indistinguishable from the interior of a Borg vessel. Several drones were regenerating in alcoves that had recently been put into the walls, including...


Adrian, Harriet, Emily, Tash, Tyler, Drake, Aster and Doug all in various states of Borg assimilation stepped out of their regeneration alcoves with a brief metallic whirring sound.

The Librarian opened his eyes. "Society Agent, designation: Jared. I am Locutus of Borg. My purpose is to facilitate the assimilation of this establishment. Resistance is futile!" Said Adrian, although "Adrian" Maybe wasn't the correct descriptive term anymore...

Jared collapsed against the wall and slid to the floor, sobbing.

It was over. The Borg had assimilated the freakin' Librarian! The strongest member of the society! What was Jared supposed to do? Chevila was nowhere to be seen, probably assimilated or broken down into raw material by now.

Jared wondered what life as a drone would be like, not even having a sense of individual identity to call his own, all his knowledge being ripped from him and being stored on a Borg server somewhere. Well, he had tried to go get help, he had tried to escape. But hey, in the end what you've tried to do doesn't really make any difference at all if you don't succeed in doing it, oh well that's life.

Adrian grabbed the shaking agent by the shoulder and pulled him to his feet, tubes shooting out of his right arm and latching onto Jared's neck, injecting their nanoprobes...



Everybody at the mission briefing jumped, turning to look at Jared.

He opened his eyes and frowned. The entire side of his face felt moist, probably because he was lying in a puddle of his own drool. He apologized profusely, sitting up. He had never fallen asleep during a mission briefing before. He blamed it on the pain medication Valerie had given him for his cracked ribs.
Tash shot him a disapproving glare.

"Well if everybody here is finished napping I suppose we can continue..." The de facto leader said. "As I was just saying, a Level 6 Sue has been detected in the Star Trek: The Next Generation fandom. Normally I would send only the more experienced agents into a fandom like this, but with the current manhunt for Ben going on, we don't have any to spare."

Jared looked around the briefing room. He hated to say it, but Tash was right, new agents and rookies were the only ones present. Most, like Jared, had only a few missions if any under their belt, some of them weren't even full agents yet.

Jared frowned. He couldn't believe Ben would have done something like this.

After he had heard the explosion he and Chloe had come running, by the time they had arrived on the scene all the action was over. Adrian had already formed his expedition team and was preparing to leave. According to Adrian's report, Ben had supposedly been a double agent, and that he and Repiv had supposedly gone rogue and attempted to break into the Room Of Things Man Was Not Meant To Know. Jared couldn't believe it, he and Ben were good friends and he might have been a goof, but he had a hard time wrapping his head around the idea that Ben was a backstabber.

To make matters worse, somebody had broken into Jared's sub-lab. Jared had no way of knowing what had been stolen seeing as the whole placed had been trashed and set on fire, so there was several items Jared had no way of accounting for, and this made Jared very worried...

Dave nudged Jared with his elbow. "Pay attention!" He whispered.

"Sorry, I was busy listening to the recitation of the current plot." Jared said.

From somewhere off in the library there was a deep rumble and the sound of snapping wood.

Tash went on as if nothing happened, she was entirely too stressed out to deal with forth wall breakages at the moment.

"-and that brings me to my next point... for some reason we can't get clear reading of what is going on in the fandom at the moment due to problems with the monitors. Charis has informed me that the problem is probably due to sabotage by the double-agent Repiv, or possibly Ben. But from what information we gathered before the network went down the Sue is currently in somewhere in the pre-Nemesis, post-Generations story arc, meaning that the fandom is going to be based around the adventures of the Enterprise-E, not the Enterprise-D. Who here is the most familiar with this part of the series?"

All around the room the rookies and novices murmured amongst themselves. They had all stopped following the series after Generations because Paramount had had the nerve to kill off Captain Kirk. Jared raised his hand and arched an eyebrow.

"Given my knowledge of the area in question, I believe that I am the most logical choice for the mission." Jared said, using the exact same vocal inflections that a Vulcan would. Chloe rolled her eyes.

Tash was skeptical. "What about your ribs?" She asked, alluding to the fact that Jared had been badly injured by a vampire on his last mission just a few hours before.

Jared brushed it off. "I doubt there will be much action in this fandom, I doubt the Sue could offer much more resistance than a phaser fight, and a phaser won't do her much good if I blow up the ground underneath her."

"Alright." Tash said. "Get going, just remember we won't be able to monitor you. Use your communicator if you should require assistance."


Chloe and Jared looked at themselves in Chevila's rear view mirror, both were wearing Federation uniforms. In order to blend in unnoticed in the fandom they didn't try to assume any rank higher than Ensign.

Jared and Chloe both gave themselves satisfied nods and opened the truck's doors, Chloe paused before she got in.

"Jared, why did you put a decal of the Society logo on the door?"

Jared growled. "Tyler! He had to key my door, I couldn't find the right shade of navy blue paint anywhere in the entire library to fix it, so I had to just cover it up."

Chloe laughed.

"Mr. Chekov, set a course for the Next Generation fandom, warp factor 2." Chloe said, doing her best to sound like William Shatner.

Jared laughed, then assumed an unconvincing Russian accent. "Aye aye captain, course layed in!"

"Excellent, engage."

With that, Jared coaxed the truck to life and went cruising down the runway of his lab. Like always he flipped a lever that controlled the plothole generator when he was halfway down and they were suddenly in a very dark room. Jared could vaguely make out the shapes of objects in darkness, he put on the brakes and brought the truck to a stop. In the background Jared could hear the low rumble of warp engines.


Somewhere in transformational space a guy with messy brown hair wearing carpenter jeans and a brown leather jacket over a red shirt and a light haired women dressed in tight black clothing and covered in barbwire tattoos were lugging a strange contraption labeled "Flux Capacitor -do not remove" down a winding corridor made of blue rock towards and idling Toyota Camry.

"You know Deraj, Asasca is going to kill you when he notices you stole this thing." Said the woman.

"Not stealing Eolhc, borrowing." Deraj said. "And further more, what Asasca doesn't know will not hurt him. My Sue Storm project is more important than that little science fair project of his anyway."

"I'm sure High Command would disagree..." Said Eolhc.

"Duh, why did you think I didn't tell them." Deraj said with a smile as he and Eloch lugged the device into the car's trunk. They were just about to go and rejoin the others when a device on Deraj's wrist started making a beeping noise.

"Oh! It seems my counter-part is taking the bait I set out for him, I'm sure two less people guarding the phantom table setter or whatever that thing is won't make a difference." Deraj said, shutting off the beeping. "Hop in Toyotanya, let's go catch us our test subject."


"I can't see anything" Chloe said.

"I can fix that." Jared said. He clapped his hands and Chevila's headlights sprang to life.

Chloe looked at Jared. "You installed a Clapper in your truck?"

Jared shrugged. "Hey, I was bored." Chloe rolled her eyes.

The two of them got out and began to look around.

Jared could tell by their surroundings they were obviously in the main shuttle bay of the U.S.S. Enterprise, but what astounded him was the complete disarray that it was in. Debris lay all over the place. There were numerous hull breaches, but thankfully emergency force fields were in place that kept he and his partner from being sucked out into space. Several barrels of Federation rations lay overturned. It looked like someone had been trying to load a shuttle with supplies, but obviously whoever it was had not finished the job.

"This is all wrong." Jared said, looking grim. "This ship looks like it's gone through numerous battles, but the Dominion War should be over during this time period. I'm going to call Tash, this may be more than the two of us can handle."

Jared tapped his communicator, which had been modified to look and function like a federation com-badge.
"Jared to Tash." All Jared got in reply was white noise. He looked confused.

"There appears to be a heavy magnetic footprint of some kind here, it's interfering with our communicators." Said Chloe.

"And Chevila's plot hole generator won't recharge for another 10 minutes, looks like we're on our own." Jared added.

"Well, let's go find an access panel, maybe it will tell us whats going on." Chloe said.

Jared had a nagging feeling about the magnetic field, but couldn't put his finger on why exactly. They tried to leave the shuttle bay, but found the doors were non-functional.

Jared used his Boomhammer to make them functional.

After he had blown the doors down he realized that toting a sledgehammer and a sword aboard a federation starship was not the best way to go unnoticed. Regrettably, he and Chloe left their weapons in Chevila's cab, and Jared turned the truck off and killed the lights with a clap.

Darkness once again dominated the shuttle bay.

Chloe and Jared began to walk down the corridor, red emergency lights were the only thing that provided them with light of any kind. They were having to push aside debris from collapsed bulkheads and doorways as they progressed, at several points they had to turn back when they ran into severly damaged areas of the ship that were sealed off. Eventually they managed to find an access panel, unfortunately for them the main computer was offline and they couldn't get any information out of it.

"We're going to have to go to the bridge." Said Jared. Chloe agreed.

They took the nearest functional turbolift to the bridge. When they got out, the first thing they noticed was that the bridge wasn't much better off than the shuttle bay. The next thing they noticed was that Captain Jean Luc Picard was just finishing a Captian's log, his voice sounding heavy like someone who had not had much sleep lately.

"-with the fall of Earth, the war effort looks bleak, I'm afraid that they will not stop until all humanity is erased from existence, the Enterprise is currently in a state of disrepair, and we are currently on our way to rendezvous with the 42nd Fleet, or rather what remains of it after the battle of Vulcan, to make what might be considered the Federation's last stand. End log recording."

Jared froze. What force could possibly drive the Federation to near extinction? The only race with even close to that amount of power was... Jared suddenly realized the significance of the magnetic footprint.

He began to speak. "Chloe! We have to get out of here now! I know what's going on here and we don't stand a chance! We have to leave before..."

Commander Data suddenly interrupted him by turning to Picard. "Captain, enemy vessel detected, time to intercept, 2 minutes. The vessel didn't appear on our sensors until it was almost on top of us!"

"On Screen!" Shouted the captain. Jared's fears were confirmed when a vessel shaped like a perfect cube appeared on the viewscreen.

"Red Alert! All hands to battle stations!" Yelled Commander Riker. The bridge was suddenly bathed in red light and sirens filled the air, crewmen all over the bridge sprung to sudden life as consoles suddenly brought up displays indicating shield strength, hull integrity and weapons status. Jared gave them all a quick glance, the Enterprise was clearly not in optimal fighting condition. Jared doubted that this battle would have a pleasant outcome.

"Captain! The Borg are hailing us, audio only!" Data said.

The bridge speakers came to life with the typical Borg mantra. "You will be assimilated. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Resistance is futile."

Jared and Chloe got back in the turbolift, heading straight for the deck that Chevila was on. If they could just get to the truck they might have a chance to escape, the Enterprise was no match for a Borg Cube even when it was in top condition. Their only hope was to escape the doomed ship before the Borg could assimilate it. The ship suddenly rocked, and the turbo lift stopped. They almost panicked but after several painful seconds the lift started again.

"We're not going to make it to the shuttle bay." Jared said ominously as the ship rocked again. "We only have one chance. 'Computer, halt turbolift.'"

The doors to the lift abruptly opened, revealing a scene of absolute carnage. Repair crews were running in every direction, mixed with the occasional Yellow of security officers. Another Borg torpedo hit, the entire ship lurched as this one found it's mark, punching straight through the shields. Jared and Chloe were thrown against the wall, Jared yelping in pain and clutching his heavily bandaged side. Consoles overloaded and exploded, part of the wall burst open and fire spilled into the corridor.

"This way!" Jared yelled. He and Chloe turned to run when they saw a shimmer of Borg transporters deposit numerous Borg drones in the corridor. The nearby security officers drew their phaser rifles and began to fire at the drones. The drones adapted their shielding almost instantly, nullifying the effects of the Federation weaponry. Several drones walked right up to the security personal and injected them with nanoprobes. The security officers never gave any ground until the very last one of them was assimilated. Jared began to have vivid flashbacks from his nightmare.

"The other way!" Jared yelled. He and Chloe turned to run the opposite way down the corridor, only to find more drones.

"Tremor!" Jared shouted, arms extended, the corridor underneath the drones exploding.

The two of them ran around the dead Borg and crater down the corridor. Chloe felt the ship shudder as damaged impulse engines fired and the Enterprise maneuvered to return fire on the Borg Cube, phaser banks discharging and photon torpedo tubes emptying as the Enterprise valiantly fought the hopeless battle.

After stumbling over injured crewman and fallen bulkheads for two minutes the agents finally found the room they were looking for: the transporter room. They found it to be unoccupied, and Chloe ran over to the control panel.

"Transporters are online thankfully, I think I can give us a site-to-site transport to the main shuttle bay."

She hit a few buttons on the control panel then grabbed Jared by the arm and ran to the transporter pad. There was a shimmer of light and they were back were they had started. Apparently just after they had left the engineers had repaired the emergency lighting, clearly showing the Borg drones assimilating all of the shuttles and the engineers that had done the repair work. Thankfully they had ignored Chevila, as they didn't consider the old pickup as a worthwhile investment of their time. Chloe began her attack.

"Enchanto!" This time she summoned a dozen Rubik's cubes, half of them were unsolved, representing her intellectual side. The cubes exploded, blowing the drones back, individual sections of the cubes embedding themselves into the drones like shrapnel.

"I always wondered how to solve those." Jared said, running over and jumping in Chevila. He hit the Plothole Generator switch, but nothing happened but a slight sizzling sound and some smoke under the hood.

"Oh C'mon! The Borg are using some kind of scattering field to keep me from using the Plothole Generator, we're gonna have to make a run for it!" Jared yelled.

Chloe was about to ask him what he meant by that when Jared picked her up, threw her in the truck, got out and made his way to the shuttle bay controls, he was muttering to himself as he was trying to figure out how the controls worked until with a shout of "Bingo!" He managed to get activate the shuttle bay's decompression cycle.

"Warning: Shuttle bay decompression will begin in 30 seconds" Chimed the computer.

Jared hopped back in the truck and drifted around to face the open shuttle bay doors, in half a minute the force field holding the atmosphere in would go down and everything in the bay would be sucked into space. Jared put on Chevila's parking brake and put the pedal to the floor. Chevila's engine whined and the back tires began to spin, fighting to overpower the brake. Chevila inched forward, leaving a trail of black skid marks.

"Are you INSANE?" Shouted Chloe.

"Yes, but that has nothing to do with this! We have to get outside the range of the Borg cube's scattering field in order to call for help or escape. When I count to 25 I'm going to release the parking brake and we will shoot forward. 5 seconds later the bay decompresses and we will be sucked into space. If I time this right, we will hit 88 MPH and be able to canonize."

"And if you're wrong?"

"Well..." Said Jared. "We die, hopefully it won't come to that."

Chloe was speechless. The Enterprise had maneuvered around so it could fire from its aft torpedo bays giving Jared a view of the Borg Cube ominously through the open shuttle bay doors.

The cube engaged its tractor beam and the Enterprise ground to a halt. Borg cutting beams began to slice the Enterprise up like a Thanksgiving turkey as more tractor beams began to pull the severed parts of the ship from their places and drag them slowly towards the Borg cube to be assimilated.

Jared counted to 25 and released the brake, the truck shot forward like a bullet from gun. The speedometer hit 60 in 3.5 seconds, at 4.5 it was 70 and at 5 the shuttle bay decompressed. The dead and damaged Borg drones, the Federation rations and all the shuttles were all pulled into space, and Chevila was no exception.

The engine instantly stalled as there was no longer any air to fuel the combustion inside of the gasoline engine. The cab was not airtight and was losing air rapidly. The windshields were suddenly covered in cracks. they were mere seconds away from the cab blowing open when the speedometer hit exactly 88. Jared punched the canonization button and there was a bright flash. Jared was suddenly sitting in the captain's chair of an odd looking blue shuttle craft of obviously Federation design. The control panels revealed that they were aboard the U.S.S Chevila. Jared noticed a generic looking crewmen sitting at the helm, while Chloe sat at tactical.

Jared wondered how it was possible for Chevila to generate a crew member until he saw the holographic emitter mounted on the ceiling.

"Your orders captain?" Asked the helmsmen.

"Um, Warp 9, any heading, engage." Jared said, once he realized the man was talking to him.

"Aye aye!" The man hit a few buttons and Chevila's warp nessels that looked deceptively like brake lights lit up with a hum. Stars began to streak by as the shuttle craft shot forward and fled the massacre behind them.

"Sir!" The helmsmen said. "The Borg vessel is in pursuit."

"What?" Said Chloe. "The Borg always take the biggest technological and biological targets first, they should ignore us until they've completely assimilated the Enterprise!"

"We are being hailed!" The helmsmen ignored Chloe.

"Onscreen." Jared commanded.

Jared nearly fell out of his chair when he saw Cassandra standing on a platform aboard the Borg Cube. At least, he thought it was Cassandra, This Sue had purple hair and was slightly taller than Cassandra, but had less of a figure. She was wearing what Jared could only describe as a metal jumpsuit, her skin was a shade of pale green. Due to the implants of the Borg Queen.

"Who the heck are you and how dare you do such outstanding damage to a fandom!" Jared yelled.

"My name ez Fiona, I em Cassandra's sister." The french Sue Purred. "As for why I'm doing thes, De Borg are dee ultimate deesplay of the pursuit of perfection. Their queen was unable tu complete the goal. That's why I em here, to feenish what she begaan."

Fiona gave a devilish smirk. "wait unteel Cassandra hears I em the one who killed you."

With that, the Sue ended the transmission.

The Helmsmen turned to Jared. "Sir, the Borg are firing!"


Charis was performing surgery on the monitor display terminal back in the Library.

Whatever Repiv did, it had taken the techie all day to just begin to make progress. She made a connection of wires and the whole console burst into a shower of sparks. The monitor network suddenly sprang to life, the displays slowly warming up and pictures began forming, all but one of them coming to focus on Adrian's task force.

The other formed a very grainy image, heavy with interference, of Jared and Chloe's mission, but it was so garbled up that nobody could make any sense of what they were looking at.

"Charis, what's wrong with the monitor?" Tash asked.

"Absolutely nothing. The interference seems to be coming from the fandom itself. Has Jared sent you any information about something that could be causing that?"

Tash frowned. "My communicator had a burst of static awhile back, I just assumed I accidental set it off."

It was Charis' turn to frown. "That may have been Jared. If this interference can screw up our monitor feed, I'm sure it could disrupt communications. Hand me that voltage reader, I'm going to see if I can make the monitor compensate for all the static."

She began adjusting levers and knobs with the skill of someone who clearly knows what they're doing. The monitor suddenly snapped sharply into focus, it's picture depicting the U.S.S. Chevila being hit by some form of drain weapon, her shields lighting up like a firework.

Tash instantly sized up the situation and turned to Charis. "Get ahold of everybody you can, this situation is obviously well over Jared's head. We'll need to form a rescue team."

Tash whipped out her plothole generator and fired. The gadget managed to make a pinky sized plothole before shorting out, this did not bode well...

She pointed at Charis. "Never mind pulling the rescue team together. I'll do that, you try and find some way to get past that magnetic field!"

She took off at a run to try to find any available agent who wasn't a rookie. "Of all the times for Adrian to be gone!" Tash yelled to no one in particular.


"Shields down to 35%!" Called the helmsmen as Chevila was hit by yet another Borg shield drainer. "Captain! We can't take another hit like that!"

"Chloe! Arm Micro-quantum torpedoes!" Jared shouted over the sound of all the noises aboard the tiny shuttle.

"Torpedoes armed!" Chloe said.

"Fire!" Jared shouted.

Two micro-torpedoes fired from Chevila's aft launcher and slammed right into the Borg cube, inflicting a negligible amount of damage.

"Direct hit! Now all we need to do that again about 50,000 more times!" Shouted Chloe.

Jared hadn't expected anything different, but hey, it was worth a shot.

"Helmsmen, send an emergency distress call on all frequencies!" Jared ordered, turning to a speaker.

"This is Captain Jared of the Federation Shuttle Chevila, under attack by Borg vessel. Said vessel has also crippled the U.S.S. Enterprise, we require assistance!"

Jared had run out of options, he was even starting to consider turning about and ordering a collision course, he doubted it would do much damage but at least he'd go out with a bang.


Fiona was almost giddy with glee, watching the shuttle attempt to escape. Right now she was just toying with them, had she wanted to end this quickly she could just fire a real torpedo instead of low power drain weapons. Heck, one Borg torpedo could probably take out a whole fleet of Chevila's, but the Sue was just having too much fun. With a simple mental command she ordered the vessel to fire out one last drain weapon.


"Impact in 3... 2... 1..." The helmsmen called out. The shield status display abruptly lit up and the next moment all shields on all vectors went from 35% to offline. Green shimmers of the Borg transporters filled the cockpit of the shuttle as a dozen Borg materialized.

Mr. Generic Helmsmen grabbed his phaser, set the setting to maximum and fired at the closest drone, it dropped in a shower of sparks. He managed to take out two more before they adapted to his phaser's frequency.

"Boomhammer!" Jared shouted. Lifting the hammer from its resting place, he gave the nearest drone a crippling blow, the resulting "BBOOOOMMM" was almost unbearably loud due to the confined space of the cockpit.

Jared tried the hammer again but it only bounced off of the next drones adapted shielding, making the sound of someone loudly clapping their hands.

Jared shrank back, he didn't dare start slinging earth waves around the tiny cockpit. Chloe didn't even bother attacking, if they could absorb Jared's hammer, her sword and shield wouldn't stand a chance. And all she could accomplish with her Rubik's cubes would be to blow Jared and her up. They all backed up against the control panels at the front of the shuttle as the drones crept closer.

"Computer, initiate self-destruct matrix, no countdown. Set self destruct to occur on my command." Jared said, determined not to be assimilated.

"Confirmed. Self destruct will occur at the Captain's orders." Said the computer. It had the exact same voice as the one it had when Chevila was a transformer, and it might've only been Jared's imagination, but it also sounded sad somehow...

Then Jared got an idea.

"Chloe, strap yourself into your seat!" Jared said to his partner.


"Just do it!"

Chloe and Jared sat in their seats and buckled in. When the Borg were only feet away, Jared turned around and readied some earth magic. He was aware he couldn't use it effectively against the Borg without accidental damaging the shuttle, but intentionally damaging the shuttle was something he could do quite easily, although he'd regret it if he ever got back to the Library.

"Tremor!" He shouted, pointing at the wall. It exploded outward and the vacuum of space began to suck everything out of the shuttle craft. The Borg were pulled into space, as well as the generic helmsmen, who dissolved into nothing the second he was outside the range of Chevila's holoprojector.

Emergency force fields sealed the hull breach a moment later.


Fiona was very annoyed. Jared would blow up his entire shuttle before letting drones assimilate him and Chloe, so she had to use another tactic. The cube shuddered briefly as it began to accelerate to higher warp velocities. Chevila could barely do warp 9.2, the cube would easily overtake her at warp 9.9.


Chloe had assumed the helm position. The Borg vessel was closing rapidly.

"Chloe, increase speed!" Jared ordered.

"But we'll fly apart!" Cried Chloe.

"Fly apart then!" Jared yelled at her. "If we get assimilated the Borg we'll be able to adapt Chevila's Plothole Generator to their technology! Once they've adapted to Adrian's defenses, which they will, they'll be able to get into the Library and we can't let that happen!"

The hull screamed with strain as Chloe pushed the warp engines well beyond their safety tolerances. The rate the Borg cube was closing began to slow and Jared briefly thought that they might even be able to outrun it, but then with a terrible boom the warp engines gave out and Chevila dropped to sublight speeds.

The Borg cube also dropped out of warp and locked on to Chevila with a tractor beam. The docking bay where some Cubes housed Spheres opened and promptly pulled Chevila in and latched on to the shuttle with docking clamps. Jared turned to Chloe.

"Get to work on the Plothole Generator. See if you can rewire it to get past this field, I'll try to buy you some time, here's the plan..."

Jared opened the shuttles doors and walked slowly down a ramp to the floor of the cube. He had to stall Fiona as long as he could, if he couldn't stall long enough he was going to have to blow up Chevila. They were fairly close to the main reactor, he wondered if he'd be able to take out the Borg vessel with him. If he blew up the Sue, the fandom would still return to normal.

The Sue seemingly emerged from nowhere and immediately began to gloat.

"You can forgeet about escaping agent Jereed, my drones cen adapt to aneething you can throw at them. Cassandra vill be so disappointed she wasn't 'ere to personally witness your defeat." The French Sue said in a sing-song voice as she slinked towards Jared.

"Oh, you're looking for Jared! Well then this whole affair has just been a case of mistaken identity." Said Jared.

"Oh really?" The Sue said, stopping a short distance from Jared. "Then pray tell, which agent are you?"

Jared assumed a absolutely terrible British accent. Out of all of his accents, British was Jared's worst. "Agent Bond, James Bond. The woman in the shuttle is a member of the the CIA."

The Sue raised an eyebrow.

"You wouldn't happen to have a dry martini would you, shaken not stirred?" Jared kept rattling on. "It would be quite a shame if I didn't manage to get one on this mission."

The Sue quickly caught on to what Jared was doing. "You will be assimilated." She smiled. "And don't bother self destructing, de force fields around this section are more than adequate to contain the explosion."

That changed things.

Plan B, stalling the Sue and escaping failed. Plan C, blowing up the whole cube wouldn't work, so here goes Plan A.

Jared tapped his Com-badge. "Chloe, fire all phasers now!" He yelled.

Chevila's phaser banks immediately let forth a barrage of powerful bursts of energy. The drones could adapt to the frequency of the phasers, but the pure power of the beams was more than their shield generators could absorb and they were all blown away. Torpedo tubes emptied as Chevila fired micro-quantum torpedoes in quick succession into the areas where the most Borg were concentrated. The resulting explosions could easily take out up to 50 drones, but at the rate they were pouring in it wouldn't make much difference. One of the phaser banks blasted Fiona, but her own force-fields were more than strong enough to absorb the beam.

She began to run towards Jared.

"Epicenter!" He yelled, punching the ground, but nothing happened. Apparently the Borg Vessel had adapted so that it simply absorbed all the earth waves Jared could pour into it.

"That's unfortunate." He thought as the fake queen of the Borg tackled him to the ground. He let out a cry of pain as she forced him to land on his injured side. She raised her right arm and assimilation tubules shot out, writhing venomously in the air.

"Eeny last words?" The Sue said, laughing despite the destruction around them.

"Stupidsuesayswhat?" Jared said, as fast as he could.

"What?" Said the Sue.

"Ha, ha, I always wanted to do that." Jared said as he pulled out a Copyright and slapped it on the floor of the cube.

The Borg vessel, free of the non-canon influence from a fake Borg queen came to an immediate all-stop. Chloe glanced at her sensor readings aboard Chevila, noticing multiple power surges all over the vessel.
Fiona's eyes opened wide with horror.

"You ediot! Don't you know what happeens when a Borg vessel stops recieving commands from de collective? De failsafes activate and... and..." She stuttered.

"It self-destructs!" Jared said. "Goodbye."

He put his hands on her stomach. "Tremor!" He shouted, pouring the Earth waves directly into her abdomen. The Sue was blown off of Jared and flew across the room into a wall, hitting it hard. She grunted and fell to the floor, a small communicator of some kind landing next to her, Cassandra's voice coming through the tiny speakers quite clearly.

"Ello? Fiona? Where are you? We are waiting for you at dee test site for dee fandom stablizor..."

"Chloe, divert all power to the engines and engage at full impulse!" Jared yelled as he ran into Chevila's cockpit. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see an approaching explosion as the ship began to incinerate itself.

Chloe punched a few buttons, the engines groaned, but they could not break free from the docking clamps holding them.

They had only seconds left. There was no time to try something else.

Jared ran up to the Society Tech controls and punched a button next to the Plothole Generator controls labeled "experimental".

Everything went black as as the Scene Transition Jared had installed in Chevila activated. It only managed to fast forward them for about two minutes before shorting out, but it was long enough to avoid getting incinerated in the explosion.

Chevila re-appeared in the middle of a debris field, forcing Chloe to perform evasive maneuvers to avoid colliding with the wreckage.

The Scene Transition was supposed to last longer and fill them in on what happened in their absence, but all the instrument panel said was "Scene transition error 42x114d, consult licensed Society technicians for diagnostics."

"I am a licensed technician and even I don't even know what the heck that's supposed to mean. I'll look it up later. For now I'll just see whether or not that magnetic field is still there." Jared said as he flipped the switch that controlled the Plothole Generator.

Unfortunately for him, Jared did not realize Chloe had just put on a burst of speed to avoid a collision with a piece of wreckage from the Borg ship, causing them to enter his tech lab at about 75 MPH.

Chevila reverted back into truck form in a flash of light, placing Jared in the driver's seat. Jared hit the brakes but it they were going so fast that it was unable to bring him to a stop fast enough to avoid a collision. After plowing through Jared's desk and several file cabinets they crashed through the wall separating Jared's lab from Doug's.

Bricks and mortar went flying. Chevila didn't have enough power to go all the way through the wall and wound up being stuck halfway.

As tough as Doug was to startle, a pickup spontaneously forcing it's way halfway through the wall of his lab did the trick. He nearly fell out of his wheelchair in surprise.

Jared coughed and pushed Chevila's airbag out of his face. He noticed the big gaping hole where Chevila's passenger door used to be and made a mental note that any damage Chevila suffers in canon form will be reflected upon reversion in her truck form.

Then when he spotted Doug. "Uh, Hi Doug! Listen, you wouldn't mind if I parked Chevila here for awhile would you?" He said nervously while trying to jostle his door to open.

Chloe just looked at Jared. "You are going to have sssoooooo much monitor duty after this."

Doug was at a loss for words, he made sure the device he and Charis were working on wasn't damaged before wheeling around to face Jared. He did not look happy...


Back in the Star Trek fandom the 42nd fleet was just arriving on scene in response to the distress call Jared had issued, just in time to witness the Borg cube's explosion.

Several of the crew members cheered as they watched the burning debris slowly drift through space, none of them detecting the cloaked Klingon Bird of Prey in their midst.

Two dark figures occupied the bridge.

"Deraj you idiot! Not only did you not manage to capture a test subject for project Sue Storm, you also may have gotten a member of the race our society is supposed to protect killed!" Yelled Eolhc.

"Shut up Eolhc! Talk to me like that again and I'll use you as my test subjet!" Said Deraj.

"I'd like to see you try!" Replied Eolhc, holding her sword threateningly.

"Enough of this, if we're fighting among ourselves, who will be left to fight our enemies?" Deraj said.

"Well, there's one thing we know for sure, we can't use this fandom as a base of operations for our project anymore, they'll get suspicious if they find another Sue here." She said.

"Right." Said Deraj. "A pity... I was beginning to develop a taste for Gaak."

And with that he maneuvered the Klingon vessel, which was actually Toyotanya, into a plot hole, back to wherever Deraj had his lab set up.


Jared was pondering what had become of the Sue he had earth magicked and if she could have possibly escaped when Chloe interrupted his thoughts.

"Wow Jared. First you get on Tyler's bad side with the pink candy bars, then you crash a pick-up truck into Doug's lab. If you're trying to get everybody in the Society against you I suggest you try setting Aster's latest Anime fort on fire." Chloe said as the two made there way to Adrian's office to report their 'accident' but as it turned out he wasn't back yet.

"Hey, the second one wasn't my fault. Boy, for a guy in a wheelchair Doug can really move!" Jared replied.
"If I didn't shove my sword into his spokes he would have caught you too, you owe me one." Chloe said.

"Hey, I blew up an entire Borg Cube, with a copyright I might add, just so they wouldn't assimilate us, if anything, you owe me one."

"How about we just call it even." Chloe suggested.

"Deal, as long as you agree to catch me." Jared said.

"What?" Chloe asked; and with that Jared fainted. Taking on two missions, coupled with fighting off black court vampires, Borg drones, two different Mary Sues and an angry handicapped halfling all in one day had taken it's toll on the agent.

Chloe shrugged. She tried to move him to his room, but he was too heavy for her to move effectively, so she just propped him up against the wall. She was going to find someone to help her move the unconscious techie when she heard a loud cry and a lot of shouting... Ben had returned to the Library Arcanium.