Showing posts with label LPGB. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LPGB. Show all posts

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Insert Comedic Attempts at Theft Here

Take 1, Action!

Tyler crawled through a ventilation duct surprisingly fast, possibly due to the half a dozen land piranhas flying after him.

"Where did Adrian even get land piranhas?" Tyler wondered. "It's like he actually believes that the mere fact of him buying the cookies somehow makes them his property!" He dropped out of the duct, landing on a hard stone floor.

"Tell me about it," Drake responded. For his part, the armored Agent had been running from a large, angry, and unfortunately air-breathing flying shark. "You've got a plan, right?"

"The cookies are right ahead, Adrian put up proximity mines… yes, I have a plan."

"Good, because the cookies are maybe twenty feet away."

"I kno- wait, what?" Tyler turned forward. Sure enough, the cookies (mounted as always on a large stone pedestal) were looming out of the corridor. "Drake!"

"Yeah?"

"JUMP!"

Both Drake and Tyler leapt into the air, soaring majestically over the pedestal. The piranhas (and shark), meanwhile, crashed into it head-on. The resulting explosion was painful-

"And tasty!" Tyler swallowed one of the nicely roasted piranha.

"Don't forget what we came here for," Drake reminded.

"Right." Tyler reached for the cookies. Unfortunately, as he did so, his hand broke a razor-thin string. "What?"

Don't ever interrupt me again.

"Now that's just disproportion-"

Tyler was interrupted by a spear stabbing right next to his right foot. "GAH!" Another whizzed past his ear.

"Slicing Gale!" Drake shouted. Bursts of wind energy sliced through a spear, shattered one of the launchers, and buried itself in the pedestal.

"Drake, watch out for the cookies!" Tyler threw a burst of energy at a launcher, smashing it.

Drake nodded, before ripping out one of the launchers and jamming it into the barrel of another.

"How is that even physically possible?" Tyler ducked a spear, and blasted a launcher into powder with a handful of explosives.

"Just go with it!" Drake shot back. "Storm Punch!" He rammed a fist into a launcher, and the metal crumpled under the force of the blow.

"Random Blast of Magic that Shouldn't Have a Name But I Wanted it to So it Does!" Tyler blasted the last launcher into oblivion.

"You're mocking me, aren't you?"

"Naturally." Tyler grabbed the plate of cookies, popping on into his mouth. "Delicious."

"Um, Tyler?"

"Whf?"

"What's that noise?"

Tyler swallowed his cookie and cocked his head to one side. His eyes widened as he heard the familiar sound of a Plothole opening, and they got even wider as he saw a disturbingly familiar orange glow cast onto the pedestal. "RUN!"

Both Drake and Tyler sprinted away as a huge stream of magma flowed from the Plothole, flooding after the duo.

They darted through the Dart Hall.

They shot through the Turret Chamber.

They ran through the Room of Sentient Death Stockings.

With the lava close behind, Tyler and Drake cleared the Corridor of Flying Axe-Spiders, and leapt out into the Library proper, slamming a door behind them.

"No cookies?" Drake asked.

"No cookies," Tyler sighed.

XXX

Take 2, Action!

"So you're sure the cookies are this way?" Tyler asked. He and Drake were walking down a long corridor.

"Of course," Drake replied. "They're always there."

"Good." The pair reached a pit trap. "We're splitting up here?"

"Yeah. You go on ahead to collect the cookies, I stay here to unlock the door afterward."

Tyler hopped over the pit. Immediately, a huge wall crashed down, cutting him off from Drake. After reaching the cookies, the smaller Agent pulled out his communicator. "I'm in. The cookies are on a pedestal."

"Cool. You see the big red button?"

"Yup." Tyler pushed it.

"Don't push it."

Tyler paled. "Um… are you sure you said, 'Don't push the big red button?"

"Yes."

"Time to go." Tyler went. By the time he had reached the wall, Drake had it open, and the two sprinted to freedom as the corridor exploded.

"So, did you get the cookies?" Drake asked. Tyler froze, dropping to his knees.

"No… NOOOOO!"

XXX

Take 3, Action!

Tyler was getting closer. He could feel it. One more corner…

Yes! There were the cookies! There was their fragrance, sugar and chocolate and butter and milk! There was the LPMC airlifting them out!

…Wait, what?

"Hey, come back! I was here first!" Tyler was too late, as the LPMC vanished into an air duct. He shot an energy bolt after them, but missed.

"Drat."

Presumably to add insult to injury (or injury to insult as the case may be), Tyler managed to trigger a trap, and was promptly glued to a wall by a blast of ABC bubble gum.

"Damn it!"

By the time Tyler had burned his way out of the gum, the LPMC were long gone.

XXX

Take 4, Action!

"So, if I aim the catapult here, the force of the rock striking the pressure plate should be enough to trigger the net. After the net goes off, two metal arms will impale it. I'll run across the arms to avoid the acid pit, disable the swinging blades, drop down to turn off the forcefield, jump back onto the arms before the chloroform geysers trigger, and get my rope. After the lasers go off, I'll snare the cookies with the rope, and make my getaway!"

With his plan thus made, Tyler proceeded into the usual corridor, avoiding each trap with skill born of around a year of practice. As the last laser went off, Tyler snagged the cookies with the rope, and began reeling them in.

"Closer… closer…"

A rocket launcher emerged from the wall, blasting the cookies into crumbs.

"DAMN IT!"

XXX

Takes 5 through 10, Action!

Tyler was launched out of the corridor by a spring bigger than the season….

XXX

A trap released a swarm of scorpions, forcing Tyler to flee.

XXX

A vacuum yanked Tyler into it, spitting him out inside a kitchen. Rhia's kitchen.

XXX

Tyler dashed up the arm of the robot, leaping onto its chest and slashing through its neck.

"Heads…" Tyler backflipped onto the ground, kicking the robot's head into the ceiling, where it was crushed in a manner reminiscent of that of a pancake. "UP!"

From outside of the corridor, Tyler heard something that made his blood run cold. It was the words, "I heard that!" spoken as if by a large, irritable, stick of wood.

"Oh no….."

Nobody was particularly surprised when, an hour later, Tyler was found lying unconscious on the floor of the main room, his limbs and extremities having been tied together with astonishing disregard for the actual alignment of his bones.

XXX

Tyler was in a very good mood. Following his recovery from Shirley's attack (which had taken over a week), he had gone back through the corridor, this time avoiding each and every trap. Finally, he had obtained the cookies. He picked them up, gingerly avoiding the nuclear acid-spitting beetle trap, and carefully walked out of the corridor. Thus liberated, Tyler proudly held the cookies over his head, triumph on every inch of his face. "I did it!"

"I'll take those."

"Huh?" Tyler spun around in time to witness Adrian calmly eating a cookie. "Thanks Tyler. I really wasn't looking forward to going through those traps myself." He walked off, carrying the cookies.

Tyler's jaw dropped.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Take A Number

"You're Akai right?" Chloe asked, extending her hand.

"Yes, who are you?" Akai replied, exchanging the handshake.

"I'm Chloe. Agent and gadget specialist," she answered.

"Excellent, can you do anything about this?" Akai asked, pushing a small, cold DS into her hand.

"I could if I didn't have monitor duty, but I'm sure Charis could help you... her lab is just down the hall."

"Okay, it was nice meeting you Chloe."



Jared checked his watch as he worked on replacing the oil pan on his pickup truck, after he did that it would be all but repaired, after that was accomplished the vehicle would be all but fully rebuilt from it's clash with Death, he was pondering taking a break and going to find some pizza rolls when the door to his lab slammed open, the sudden noise startled Jared, causing him to slam his forehead against the very oil pan he was repairing.

"Ow! Whoever is there would it kill you to knock?" Jared responded, rubbing his forehead.

"It might, and surely you wouldn't want me to risk my life in such a menial way?" Akai said, grabbing Jared's sliding cart and pulling him out from beneath the pickup.

"Ah Akai, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Jared asked, rubbing his sore head.

"A certain someone borrowed my DS without asking, and when I walked into the room they panicked and threw it in the freezer, now it won't turn on!" Akai said, handing the semi-frozen gaming device to Jared.

Jared pulled his collar and gulped as he remembered finding a DS on the table, getting up to get a bowl of ice cream and returning to the table without the console.

Crap, I must have accidentally stuck that thing in the freezer.

"Well I can tell you right now it's because the battery acid in your power cell is frozen, it's a good thing you didn't try to charge it or else it might have exploded." Jared mumbled.

"Don't care, just fix it..." Akai said, "You there, cookies!" She shouted at the Jun-akuma, the tiny demon happily obliged with a mid-sized platter.

"Small electronics aren't really my specialty, Charis or Chloe would be alot more qualified for this type of thing..." Jared said, searching around for his custom DS screw driver.

"I know, but they're both busy, that's why I'm asking you..." Akai stated between cookies.

Jared felt wounded at Akai pure, unrestrained bluntness.

"Wow, you really are negative..." Jared said, removing the back panel on the DS.

Akai just shrugged and resumed eating cookies as Jared tried to get the tightly packed battery removed.



"General, what is that?" Major Industry asked, pointing at the Jun-akuma floating nearby.

"It's ah... ah... turnip maybe," Idea replied, unsure of what to make of the creature which was roughly the same height as the tallest members of the LPGB.

"It's staring at us General, what do we do?"

"Hey, turnip-thing! What are you?" General Idea called, the Jun-Akuma just stared.

"Maybe it doesn't speak english?" Follower added.

"Tu hablo espaniol?" Captain Crunch prompted, the tiny demon did not react in the slightest.

"Let's return to base, I want surveillance teams to follow this... turnip-thing around until we actually learn what it is." Idea said before getting back in his Humvee.



"Well, I changed out your battery, I will let you know if I ever find out who put your DS in the fridge..." Jared said.

"Okay, thanks." Akai said.

"If you ever need any more work done I can hook you up right here..." Jared said, sliding back under the truck and going back to work.

"That's what she said!" Akai shouted.

"Wha- OW!" Jared yelled, leaning up and banging his head on the oil pan again.

The Jun-akuma floated next to Jared and pulled out a band-aid as Jared clutched his aching forehead.

"Come back anytime, I always aim to satisfy..." Jared said, bandaging his forehead.

"That's what she said!" Akai said before slamming the door.

"Somedays... it doesn't pay to be smart," Jared muttered, watching the closed door

Monday, December 9, 2013

Insert The Original Indestructible Captain Here (part 3 of 5)

"You're kidding me..." Louise was pale. Every eye was glued to the monitor showing Tash and the Dave replica.

"Is that...what.." Miri stammered. "Oh dear God..." Her hands flew to her mouth. She was clearly picturing Michael, Claire or Tash ending up like that. Phoenixia put a comforting arm around her.

"I take it something quite dire is occurring?" Everyone turned round.

Aramayis stood at the door, Saito behind him, unaware he had just won the prize for the understatement of the century.

"You could say that..." Harriet growled.

"We leave you alone five minutes..." Saito muttered.

oooo

Michael, Scarlet, Chloe and Jared were running as fast as their legs could carry them. The replicated Mariana close on their heels. The Mysterons had apparently deactivated the permanent prohibitor when they had retro-metabolised her. Consequently, she had all the powers she had once possessed in her native X-men fandom. Fortunately, as her Nom de Guerre of Snow-Owl suggested, her powers were based around water and wind, of which there was little available around the ruined mine workings. Being a Sue however, what little there was was being used to frightening effect.

She alighted upon a disused vehicle, chanting an spell to focus her mental energies towards her opponents.

"Don't mess with Nukes!"

Mariana took flight again, and Ben's Nuke devastated only the massive Dumper truck she had been perched upon.

"Gaah! Missed!" Ben shouted, as the sue replica banked over his head.

"Um, Ben?" Lily said, tapping him on the shoulder. "I think we have other problems..."

A roar of a massive engine caught Ben's attention as she spoke. Next to the wreckage of the truck, was another one, undamaged and glowing faintly green in the sunlight. The symbol that Ben had taken to be an Audi logo vanished from the radiator, and it charged forward without anyone in the driver's seat.

"Wonderful." Michael said, scrambling to get out of the truck's way. He was irritable because the hot Nevada sunlight meant that the Darkness was restricted to abusing him, which didn't help a bit. "Thanks a lot."

Da-Da-Daa, Da-Da-Da-Daaa!

Joe was down. His arm injury wasn't fatal, but he wasn't going to be of much help if he couldn't hold his weapon. Marcus and Drake covered Pete as he helped his injured friend into cover until they could generate a plothole without being disturbed. Three clones resisted them, while the rest split up to hunt down the Spectrum personnel and society agents.

On the positive side, Rhia had found a new sniping position, and more to the point, had remained there long enough to take out a lot of those with ranged weapons. As Marcus blasted one with the Dragon Talisman, allowing Drake to finish it off with a Storm Spear, he couldn't help feeling that the odds were getting better.

A bullet bounced off a rock next to him. Marcus turned, seeing a Spectrum Agent.

"I thought you were on our side!" Then he saw the man's black uniform. "Oh..."

"You thought wrong, Earthman." Captain Black replied, taking aim with his rifle again. Marcus fired the Dragon Talisman, but as he did so, a clone brought a Klingon close-combat weapon down towards him. He was able to block in time with his Umbrella, but the shot only grazed Black, although it did melt part of his weapon. Dislodged from his hand, the Talisman skittered away over the rubble.

Drake leapt at the offending clone, engaging it, while Pete kept the other one busy. This left Marcus to deal with the Mysteron agent.

Okay. He's probably trained in unarmed combat techniques I've never heard of. Marcus thought, as Black stood up again. So outnumbering him won't work. Still, I think I can copyright him though...

He leapt to one side as Black lunged at him. Black recovered quickly, checking himself where Marcus had struck him.

"Whatever you hoped to do Earthman, it was ineffective."

Marcus was forced to dodge again. He was sure this guy was canon, so why hadn't the copyright worked? Which Talismans did he have left? Ah! Now there was an idea! Marcus rummaged in his pocket, and tried to get close up again.

oooo

"...against the mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hands."

Aster's attacks didn't get anywhere near Lina. She was protected by some kind of magical forcefield. Chrys and Akai were beginning to make headway against the living tide of clones, but they would still be in the firing line when the spell was completed.

"Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed, by the power you and I possess!"

"Flat-Chested Little Girl!"

All eyes turned to Aster, who could scarcely believe the words had left her mouth. It was a low blow, no mistaking that, but if the clone thought anything like the real Lina...

Her face turned several colours that Aster had seldom seen in nature in rapid succession, then settled on a look of pure fury.

"DRAGON SLAVE!"

The spell whisked past the agile Fae and detonated somewhere in the stratosphere. The heat was off her friends, but now she had her work cut out just to survive.

"Ray Wing!" Lina cried, taking to the air to follow her. "Blast Ash! Diem Wing!"

"Kyaaaaaaaaa..."

Da-Da-Daa, Da-Da-Da-Daaa!

Claire threw a pine cone. Dave simply knocked it away with his axe, and ducked under one of Seiryu's bolts of energy, bringing up the axe again to intercept a blow from Tash's sword.

Under normal circumstances, Tash could simply have severed the axe shaft with metal melting heat. But these weren't normal circumstances. Dave had not been given Stuishly over-powered agility, or upper-body strength disproportionate to his build. What's more, his short-sightedness meant that blows at range were less accurate. In short, he was himself, only under the control of others. Captain Scarlet was living proof that the people thus replicated were salvageable. Maybe it would work the same way for Dave.

Maybe...

If it didn't, then the replica had to be destroyed. No-one should desecrate the dead in this manner. That would be the hardest part. If it came to it.

Dave disengaged and fell back, breathless, but somehow uninjured. Claire and Tash on the other hand were covered in little cuts and scratches where Dave had nicked them. Tash still had her twisted ankle to worry about as well, as Dave had kept her out of reach of Valerie's healing powers. More because the author asked her politely than anything else, Tash spoke.

"Dave, don't you remember us?"

Dave paused. "Of course..."

Tash blinked. She hadn't expected a response at all. She, Claire and Valerie stopped what they were doing abruptly. Dave did likewise. Mesha still lying on the rooftop and grinning like a maniac, made no attempt to alter this.

"I remember the girl I thought of as one of my best friends, cutting a woman's arm off and burning her alive because she goaded her." Dave said, his voice and eyes blank and expressionless, but his face beginning to tighten with anger. "I remember the only thing people ever had to say about me being "nice job breaking it hero". I remember being scared to be myself because of, of all things, an overgrown matchstick!"

"That's right..." Mesha cooed softly, in the flabbergasted silence that followed. "You don't have to be afraid. Not any more..."

"So that's why you gave him those manufactured nightmares!" Valerie cried. "So you could control him!" It was a fair deduction. With Dave's concious mind beginning to sympathise with Mesha's Mysteron programming, he was all the more dangerous. To Valerie's surprise, Mesha's response was to raise an eyebrow at her, as if to ask what she was talking about.

Dave's eyes locked with the healer's and flashed a sickly green. His frown deepened, but before he could respond, a bullet went straight through the side of his head.

Dave's response was to glare at Captain Blue contemptuously, as the wound healed to almost nothing in a moment.

"By the way, I added a few upgrades." Mesha giggled, reminding everyone of her presence. A bullet, a blast of fire, a pine cone and an energy bolt abruptly shot through the space where she had been a split second before, and now wasn't.

Have it your way then... Her voice echoed mockingly around the buildings.

Dave resumed attacking, and Valerie and Claire rushed to intercept. Tash dived behind the stack of machine parts where Blue was re-loading his gun.

"Don't do that!"

Blue looked up at her. "I'm just doing my job." he said, then his expression softened. "Although, I admit I'm more used to stopping the Mysterons by any means before things get worse..."

This statement hit Tash in the face. That's what we do as well, with the Sues... Isn't it? She shook her head to clear it.

"How did you cure Scarlet?" she asked, as the impact of Dave and Claire's weapons threw up a shower of sparks.

oooo

"Wild line!" Lily's attack punctured one of the Truck's tires, and it speared off at an angle, corrected itself, and charged back towards the fleeing group.

Chloe's explosive Rubik's Cubes disabled a small number of clones, opening a new path for them to flee down. Shirley was a blur of teeth and claws, making sure that few of the clones would be able to stand up before the heavy vehicle rolled over them. Ben reached for Bahmut again, but he was quickly set upon by several clones, so he left it slung on his back where it wouldn't impede his fast step.

Michael however had noticed something strange. It took a lot of effort for them to bring down even one clone soldier, but one shot from a mysterious beam weapon that Captain Scarlet was carrying seemed to be fatal to them. He didn't have time to wonder about this for long however, as Mariana/Snow-Owl was still around, and whipping up whatever water there was available into a devastating attack.

"Don't mess with Nukes!" Ben said, pointing at a specific area of the truck. The warhead detonated in the back and the force was directed away and up. The vehicle kept moving, but Mariana was caught in the blast. Being a Sue, she survived, although she landed hard.

"Boomhammer!" Jared managed to land a decisive blow against a clone soldier. A second clone armed with a Force Lance, a mixture of ray gun and quarter-staff from the Andromeda fandom, moved in to attack him, but was blown away by earth magic.

"How long can we keep this up?" he yelled, dancing out of the way of the truck as it roared past him.

"Lily!" Avak cried. She was standing beside the crater, apparently caught like a rabbit in the headlights of the truck as it charged towards her. Just before it struck however, she used Top Gear to dash out of the way, leaving the heavy vehicle to roll into the rubble filled crater. Because of it's momentum, it flipped over onto its back, allowing a Landslide triggered by Jared to bury it.

"Nice, but we ain't done yet!" Michael cried, exchanging blows with a Bat'leth using clone with his own sword, darkness tentacles lashing out at every foe in reach. It was at this point that the Truck decided to explode.

Da-Da-Daa, Da-Da-Da-Daaa!

Aster and Lina were now very high up in the sky above the mine workings. They heard the explosion and looked down. Lina seemed to decide they were high enough now, and began to recite another spell.

"Lord of the dreams that terrify, sword of the cold dark void..."

Aster gasped and sent a spear of ice at her, but Lina simply dropped out of the sky, as if in free-fall, still chanting.

"...Free yourself from the Heaven's bonds. Become one with my power, one with my body..."

Aster dived too, but Lina was using gravity to open a big lead on her.

"...and let us walk the path of destruction together. Power that can smash even the souls of the Gods!"

Lina pulled out of her dive, over the startled heads of Chrys and Akai, who were finally finishing off the last of the ground-bound clones, dark energy coalescing in her hands as she used the momentum to fly back up at Aster.

"RAGANA BLADE!"

The sword of the Lord of Nightmares struck Aster's staff. The spell's caster wasn't the real Lina Inverse, and nor did she posses the amplification talismans she had bought from Xellos in Slayers Next, so the energies released weren't fully controlled. Sparks of Chaos energy broke from the blade and lacerated Aster's face. Fae and cloned Sorceress struggled with the clashing energies for a while, Aster trying to hold back the chaos blade, and Lina pushing it home.

Something had to give, and it did. There was a bang, and both girls crashed to earth in a cloud of smoke.

"Aster!" Chrys and Akai ran to their friend as she struggled to sit up, desperate to defend her. Lina, although weakened, wasn't about to let this opportunity pass by.

"Van Rail!" she cried, through a mouthful of blood, slamming her palm into the ground. Tendrils of ice spiralled out of the ground and swirled towards the trio. Aster desperately raised a hand.

With Aster's powers over ice, it was no contest, and the spell rebounded on Lina, cocooning her in ice. Aster sighed with exhaustion.

"Poor choice, Lina-san." She muttered, as her friends helped her to her feet.

oooo

Marcus took the opportunity to search for the Dragon Talisman. His reprieve had been gained by using the Tiger Talisman to split Captain Black. This had worked better than he had hoped, as instead of splitting him into good and bad halves, the dormant human part of him had been released.

The society agent looked over his shoulder at them. Conrad Turner was fighting his Mysteron self like a man possessed, and Marcus could only imagine what the man had seen as his body had been used to kill and destroy in the name of the Mysterons. Surely that would drive anyone insane...

He caught sight of the dropped Talisman and reached for it. No sooner had his fingers closed over it, than the rubble shifted as the heavy lorry nose-dived into it and flipped. Drake and Pete gestured him over to the side of the crater, opposite the now buried vehicle. It was at this point that it decided to explode.

The two Captain Black's were blown into the crater wall and joined together again. Marcus landed on top of him and was promptly split up by the Talisman's power.

Dazed, Drake peered over the crater edge.

"Okay, both Marcus' are out cold." he paused. "Where's Captain Black?"

oooo

Mesha looked up from her binoculars as Captain Black appeared next to her, in the same manner as he had vanished from the crater.

"Enjoy getting your butt kicked?" she asked, teasingly. The Mysteron Agent frowned.

"Have they observed our secondary objective?" he asked in turn. His tone was slow and deliberate

"Not that I can tell."

"Then I have succeeded in my endeavour." Black paused. "I would note that you failed to inform us of certain information."

"Like what?" Mesha was looking back at the battle from the hilltop, uninterested.

"The Mysterons expected this society to be of similar purpose and organisation to Spectrum. You did not tell us the degree of unfamiliar powers they possessed."

"They're barely competent enough to use them." Mesha retorted, annoyed that she should have to justify herself. Her earlier effort had made sure the Mysteron's loyalty wasn't dependant on her powers, but she wasn't aware of how fragile her control was... Unaware of the Copyright, she turned on the Sueish charm again. Fortunately for her, she was still wearing the Archangel necklace. "Surely you can deal with that?"

"Even incompetence of use can threaten us. It is better we do not keep secrets..."

"I'll make a note of that." Mesha replied, focusing her binoculars on the battle again, unknowing of how close she had come to disaster. She wondered vaguely what Valerie had meant by manufactured nightmares, but decided to think about that later.

oooo

General Idea stood on Martha's dashboard. In the brief moments before he was forced to run from the cloned army, Jared had ordered him and the small detachment of LPGB he had with him to search Dave's Land Rover for anything that might be useful in combating the Mysteronised clones.

The General himself however was privately convinced that the Mysterons were aligned with the Soviet Union. And he didn't like the sound of this Bereznik state he had run across in the background of this fandom either...

"General Idea, Sir!" Idea's electric thoughts returned to the present.

"Captain Crunch?"

"We have completed our inventory, Sir."

"Report."

"Plastic carrier bags quantity two, containing one complete set of clothing and a pair of boots. All non-ferrous. One standard issue Communicator. One pair of Specsavers glasses, associated case, and clip-on sunglasses..."

"Anything that isn't standard issue?" Idea queried.

"Yes sir. One device of Society manufacture matching the description of experimental gadget designated "Guest Appearance". Also, one Poke Ball of the "Heal Ball" variant, containing unidentified Pokemon." Captain Crunch paused. "Permission to speak freely, sir."

"Granted."

"The deceased was not known for carrying superfluous items around with him. It is my strong belief that both the anomalous items are present for a good reason."

"Agreed Captain. But lets not waste time speculating on what these reasons were. Prepare to move out, the Admiral needs this information."

"Si- Get Down Sir!" Crunch roared. General Idea turned, wondering why Crunch had addressed him in Spanish, and only just got out of the way in time. Jared's Boomhammer impacted against the Land Rover's bonnet, bounced off and passed straight through the windscreen, striking the centre console before coming to rest on the back seat. The sonic boom of it's impact in the car's front shattered all the windows, and the computer screen in the dashboard.

"Are you alright Sir?" came a shout.

"Never mind that!" Idea replied, lifting a large piece of glass off himself. "That was the Admiral's weapon. At best he is disarmed, at worst captured by Soviet agents! Move out!"

"Warning. Handbrake has been disabled." said Martha sweetly.

The Land Rover was indeed in motion, slow now, but gathering pace all the time.

"Well this makes deployment easier." Idea remarked. "Miss Martha. Engage engine and apply brakes."

"Drive controls for this vehicle are not governed by this system. Please fasten your seatbelts and rejoin the nearest main road."

"Oh..."

Da-Da-Daa, Da-Da-Da-Daaa!

A minute or so earlier...

Jared cried out as Mariana, grounded but still fighting, lifted him of the ground with a gust of extremely cold wind, letting go of his Boomhammer as he did so, and allowing it to be blown away. He landed on top of Ben.

"T-t-t-thanks for the s-s-s-soft landing mate."

"Wwooommbbbsol.."

"Sorry?" Jared asked moving his foot.

"I said "You need your boots re-soling"." Ben repeated.

Both men suddenly remembered they were in battle, just in time to see Rhia and Cristoph slide between Snow-Owl and them, still fighting off the cloud of cloned Pokemon. Their two sets of foes promptly became entangled with each other, but only briefly. They soon came at the four agents again, coordinating their attacks with each other.

It was then that Michael realised that his group of agents had been forced into a dead end. There was no-where for them to retreat to, and as he saw Drake and Pete heading for them, both supporting a Marcus and Joe covering their retreat as best he could, he realised that returning to the library was their only option.

"Warning, unknown interference." said his plothole generator.

"Stacey, Phoenixia, we're locked!" he yelled into his communicator. There was no response. Apparently they were on their own for the next few minutes. He looked down at the device again, and his eyes were drawn to the Phoenix morpher on his wrist.

Five times only... Only in major emergencies... It was becoming hard to known what those emergencies were. Activate it too soon, and he would waste the power. Too late... He looked up at the agents, his colleagues, his friends. If he guessed wrong, then one or more of them might die.

Captain Scarlet seemed to be having trouble with his weapon. He looked at Michael. No words were spoken.

You're obviously an amateur organisation...Prepared physically, but not mentally...You start taking things for granted, its all the harder when the miracle you're depending on fails to turn up...

Scarlet noted Michael's gaze, and nodded, almost imperceptibly.

Get on with it will you! The Darkness growled, impatiently.

Fine then. Michael thought. We make our own miracles. The Chief Agent's hand crept towards the activator.

It was at this point, music caught Michael's ears.

He looked up again, just in time to move out of the way of Martha, as the LPGB steered her towards the group of agents. It was just as well they had accidentally switched her stereo on, or whatever they had done, or he wouldn't have noticed them.

The plastic soldiers wrestled as best they could with the vehicle's heavy steering, too early to be power-assisted, but Martha's next destination was looming ahead of them. A building's wall.

The impact was undramatic. The Land Rover did not crumple up, but merely struck the brickwork and shuddered. There was the sound of part of the mechanics underneath the vehicle coming loose, and the patter of the plastic figures of the LPGB falling all over the bonnet. It was now possible to hear exactly what was blaring from her speakers.

Caramelldansen.

All fire stopped, both sides paralysed by the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. There was a flash of light from the front passenger seat, which coalesced on Martha's roof.

A blue-black creature with scary eyes surveyed the scene calmly, the tail with the yellow throwing star on the end twitching slightly. Still, no one moved.

Dave's Luxray noted the music and looked down through the shattered sun-roof.

"Ray?"

Captain Crunch, in something of a daze, pushed a button. A different music track began to play.

This bloody road remains a mystery. This sudden darkness fills the air.

Asuka grinned. This was her kind of battle music. Leaping from the roof, the Luxray charged into battle, as the clones finally resumed fire.

oooo

"You won't help us?" Harriet was annoyed, but not exactly surprised with the Counter Guardian's response.

"Not our problem." Saito said, brusquely. "Not serious enough for us to be needed."

"I thought it was your job to stop these things before they got worse!" Jess exclaimed. "Now you're saying you can't stop them until it gets beyond the point you should have stopped them at?"

"I would point out before we go any further," Aramayis said, in the confused pause this statement created, and gesturing to the monitor. "That the society seems to be winning. Quite conclusively, unless I'm mistaken." He was right. The tide of battle around Captain Scarlet and Michael seemed to have turned with Asuka's intervention.

"That still leaves Dave..." Miri murmured.

oooo

Claire hadn't planned to be fighting to the death when she woke up this morning, and if she had, she certainly wouldn't have guessed that it would be Dave she was facing. She disengaged, allowing Valerie to hit him in the neck with an energy bolt. He healed himself close to instantly, and Claire found herself wondering vaguely how Jack Harkness would react if he saw this...

Tash swooped in again, Nephthys swishing to and fro, knocking aside his axe blows. One swing allowed the sword to connect with the hook of the axe, and yanked it from Dave's hands.

Then something neither Claire, nor Val had expected happened. Nephthys vanished, and Tash hugged Dave, her arms sliding beneath his shoulders and locking behind him in a death grip. Tash's wings spread out to their maximum span, and the two of them rocketed skywards.

The Girls looked at each other, then at Blue for an explanation. Before he could reply however, all three of them noted the music, punctuated by the sounds of battle.

"Tash knows what she's doing..." Claire said, moving towards the noise, all the while casting fleeting glances at the red/orange spark vanishing into the clouds.

Da-Da-Daa, Da-Da-Da-Daaa!

Won't anybody help us? What're we running for? When there's nowhere...

Asuka was mopping up the last of the clone troopers now, her Discharge filling the air with static. They were panicking now, targeting her instead of the society agents, apparently she was more of a threat to them. This meant that it was fairly simple for the society agents to lay down a suppressing fire.

...nowhere we can run to anymore!

As the Luxray connected a Thunder Fang with Mariana, Michael felt Scarlet tap on his shoulder.

"What is that?" he shouted over the music, indicating Asuka.

"Lion with X-ray eyes and the powers of an electric eel." he said, quickly. "Not sure why she's doing so well though..."

We can't afford to be innocent. Stand up and face the enemy.

A clone with a large Katana made as if to bisect the Luxray as she landed near him after a jump. He suddenly found Akai's spear sticking out of his chest. And then he had a set of electrified fangs in his shin.

"Mysterons are impervious to X-rays and vulnerable to High Voltage Electricity." Scarlet replied, taking out another clone with his repaired weapon. "That's how this Electrode Rifle works."

"You tell us this now?" Michael was suddenly struck by how thorough Dave was... Had been.

Be fair, you never asked him, did you? Came a sarcastic voice in the back of his mind.

It's a do or die-ie-ie-ie-ie...

Combat stopped again, as if by some unspoken agreement. The LPGB could be heard debating amongst themselves how to stop the CD skipping.

"Advise application of manual overshoe!"

"Make sense Major Detail!"

"Kick it sir!"

ie-ie-ie-ie situation.

The fighting picked up where it had left off, as if it had never stopped.

We will be Invincible!

Scarlet shouted a warning. Michael turned around in time to see another clone with a very big gun standing some way behind him, obviously in the final stages of charging to fire.

And with the power of conviction, there is no sacrifice!

An energy bolt struck the power pack, detonating it, and spreading the unfortunate man over a wide area.

Valerie grimaced, she hadn't meant to do that, but it had saved Michael.

Its a do or die situation. We will be Invincible!

The song finished just as the battle ended. Asuka finally allowed herself the luxury of collapsing under the weight of a dozen minor injuries and bullet ricochets. Had she been under level 70, she wouldn't have survived. The society agents spread out, making sure all of their foes were actually dead, tending their wounded, searching for other halves they had been separated from. Everyone was accounted for, except...

"Where's Tash?" Michael asked. Claire and Valerie looked at each other, then up in the sky, where a tiny dot was only just visible.

oooo

Tash bit her lip to stop herself crying out. Dave was punching, kicking, doing everything in his power to hurt her, uncaring they were now almost a mile up in the sky.

She didn't know what the "London Car View" was, or how high it had been. All she knew was that somehow, falling from such a height had been a major factor in Captain Scarlet's De-Mysteronisation.

She glanced down. This was high enough, surely? If he falls too far...

Could I...?

Inexplicably, her grip tightened, as if hoping Dave would pass out from lack of oxygen.

He didn't.

The composite plates in Dave's toe caps found her shins again, and Tash was sure she felt something break. She flinched in pain, and heard something rip. Cold air buffeted her front.

Tash hadn't realised that she'd closed her eyes, and opened them. Dave was falling away, part of her blouse in his outstretched right hand. His face registered neither fear, nor anger.

It was blank. Empty.

oooo

"Um... Guys...?" said Ben, his gaze firmly on the descending dot.

It was quite easy to tell where Dave was going to land, and everyone scrambled to reach the spot as fast as they could.

Dave landed hard, and deep in the ground, closely followed by Tash, who was using her wings to keep the weight off her injuries. Few noticed she was holding her ripped blouse closed, as her face was stricken.

"Please... please let that work..."

Scarlet started forwards, but just as he reached him, Dave's arm twitched, then spun almost comically back into its accustomed position.

"You're kidding..." Someone murmured.

The former agent pulled himself out of the hole his impact had created, the dust falling away from his clothes as they too repaired themselves, cracks and pops signifying his bones returning to normal.

Scarlet took a step back and raised the Electrode rifle, but Dave reached out, and pushed it down, away from himself. His blank eyes flashed green.

Mysteron Green.

Before anyone could react, Asuka sprang forward, clamping her jaws around Dave's throat. Only when he let go of the rifle to try and pry her off did she start to pass current through them. She knew Scarlet was just as vulnerable to her powers.

Dave gave a muted gurgling noise, then fell over under the Pokemon's weight. The Luxray clung on for a moment longer, but Dave didn't even twitch this time.

It was over.

oooo

"The evacuation of the reserves is completed...It is Done." Black commented.

Mesha grinned. "Good. Now we proceed to the next stage of the plan." She said. A split second later, the ridge where they had observed the battle was vacant, as if they had never been there.

Da-Da-Daa, Da-Da-Da-Daaa!

Michael, Ben and Lily were attempting to explain to Captain Blue what was going on in way that made some kind of sense to him. Their success was varied in this, but as long as Mesha was still in the fandom, it was clear they'd have to establish some kind of understanding if they were going to be sticking around for a while.

A few agents had been brought to, and indeed sent out of, the fandom by Tash's doors as the plotholes were still not working, and the society were making sure there were no extra clones waiting in the ruins to ambush them. Scarlet had sent for some extra Spectrum back-up agents to provide a cordon around the mine.

When the rain started, Claire and Miri had to bodily pick Asuka up and carry her into the shelter of a nearby shed, as she was almost completely catatonic. She had only done what Dave had asked her to do in the event of his being taken over -Valerie had found this out pretty quick- but that didn't alter the fact that it had been hard for her.

Dave himself lay under a tarpaulin, as they didn't dare bring him back to the library just yet. As the wind got up, it blew it off his head briefly, allowing the rain to strike his face. However, when Avak covered him up again, he failed to notice that he wasn't as pale as he should have been...

oooo

"Mesha's not getting away with this!" Said Louise firmly. "Can't we get in yet?"

Phoenixia shook her head. She, Charis and Emily were working at full tilt to try and get the plotholes to the Captain Scarlet fandom working again, thus far with little success. Tash was needed at the mine so the team there weren't completely cut off and Adrian was in no position to be distracted, so they left him to get on with whatever he was doing.

"I'd love to help," said a message on one of the monitors, "but my hands are just collections of zeros and ones. Oh dear. Poor, poor Dave (sniff)."

The Blue Italic font that @ had used to compose this note made it clear she was being sarcastic, and Harriet only paid as much attention to it as was required to push the delete key.

"Alright." the society leader said at last. "As soon as we have plotholes again, I'll lead a team in there personally. Louise is right. Mesha's gonna pay!"

oooo

In the Medical wing, Valerie was treating the injured agents. Aster was exhausted, but her injuries were mostly cosmetic, so she left Aimee to clean her up, and dealt with Joe's arm.

It was as she picked up her records, meaning to write down exactly what medicine she had given to him, that she suddenly felt something strange on the edge of her empathic senses.

A wayward emotion. Vague and insubstantial, but definitely present. She put her clipboard down to focus on it, and the emotion abruptly vanished off her mental radar.

The healer frowned, and took her obsidian pendant off. If it turned up again, she'd know about it for sure. Turning to continue, she touched the clipboard lightly...

...abandon us? ...Pushing it a bit... Traitor...

Valerie dropped the clipboard with a yelp of surprise that drew Rhia over from Cristoph's bedside.

"The paper. Its... Psychic!"

Rhia looked from the dropped medical report to Valerie and her eyes widened.

"Psychic paper is from Doctor Who..."

Mesha set Dave up by giving him nightmares that stirred his emotions. Something in the library was giving him these nightmares by a psychic signal that Phoenixia couldn't pin down. The library's paperwork bred at an exponential rate. Psychic paper had evidently cross-bred with it. It's native fandom was Doctor Who. So was Mesha's...

The half-second it took Valerie to make this deductive leap seemed to her to be a century long.

"Get Harriet down here, now!"

oooo

Captain Scarlet was still marvelling at the society. He had seen a great many strange things in his career as a Spectrum agent.

An alien plant that caused three spaceships to crash as its mutated vines lashed wildly in the cabin, a fantastic city built in secret on the lunar surface by the Mysterons, and much more besides...

And yet all that was nothing next to the sight of the Jun-Akuma hovering above Akai's head, apparently balancing an Umbrella on top of its own head as she checked the clones for signs of life.

"Paul, over here!"

Scarlet shook his mind back to the present and walked over to where Blue was standing, staring at the ground.

"What do you make of this?"

Several hand-sized fragments of ice were scattered over a wide area, as if something had dropped an ice sculpture from a great height, causing it to shatter. Scarlet shrugged.

"One of the society could throw ice around Adam. Remember the girl with blue hair? One of her shots must have gone wild."

Blue frowned. "She struck me as being a better shot than that..." he stopped, and picked up a fragment that had caught his attention. Encased inside, was a lock of red hair.

oooo

Tash sat in the shelter of a building, wearing Claire's coat to cover her ripped blouse. Her two sisters sat next to her with Asuka across their laps. It was Miri that spoke first.

"Stroking a kitty is supposed to be therapeutic, Aneki." she said, gesturing at the grief-stricken Luxray. "Maybe it'll do both of you good."

"I've got my own kitty, thanks..." Tash replied, smiling faintly. "And to be honest, people that have come back..."

Are the last thing I want to think about right now, she silently finished.

Asuka glared at Tash with tear-soaked eyes. "Ray Lux RAY!" she snapped, standing up with a sharp crack of static that had both Miri and Claire feeling like they had just been punched in the chest.

Tash wasn't so good at Pokemon languages, but she got the drift of what she had said.

"It's not fair?" she repeated, as if confirming it. "Agreed. Dave was my friend too, and- You don't mean that?"

Asuka had interrupted, shaking her head and clearly frustrated by the language difference.

"You don't think its fair Adrian gets to come back properly and Dave doesn't?" Claire suggested. The Luxray nodded.

"It doesn't work like that." Miri said, stroking the electric Pokemon in an attempt to get her to calm down. "Adrian was just a bit... luckier."

Lucky was a poor word to describe what had happened, and everyone present knew it.

"Hmmmmm. Ray ray Luxray..." Asuka replied, casting a suspicious glare at Tash as if she had just confirmed something she had suspected for a while...

"Um, I hate to interrupt..." Michael stuck his head into the shelter, a thankful distraction from the building tension. "Captain Scarlet has just told me that all the clones we've faced thus far can't equate to more than half of what he and Dave saw in the tunnels earlier. And it gets better! The clone of Lina Inverse is missing. We think she's thawed herself out and is lying in wait around the ruins."

Tash looked up at the Luxray again. "Think what you like Asuka, but we need your help now." Asuka nodded slowly. Tash understood. She would help because duty demanded it, not for any other reason.

oooo

The minutes, and the rain squall, passed, and still there was no sign of Lina or any other clones, despite an exhaustive search of the mine buildings. When the society and Spectrum met again, they reached the conclusion she was long gone. It was at this point that someone noticed they had lost contact with base again.

Tash stood to open a door back to the library.

"Befis Bring!"

The ground split under everyone's feet, and swallowed them up to their calves, which on Asuka was up to her chin. All except Tash, who of course could fly. Sure enough, there was the cloned sorceress, waiting to fire again. She fled over the mine, and Tash gave chase.

"Jurai-Ke-" Tash stopped in horror as her eyes alighted upon something Lina had just flown over. The tarpaulin that Dave was under had been rolled back, revealing that there was nothing underneath! He had vanished.

"Elmekia Lance!"

The moment of distraction cost Tash dearly. Although she was able to move sufficiently for the spell to be robbed of it's lethality, it snapped her head to one side in passing, and she blacked out.

Drake and Michael were the first to free themselves, and ran towards where Tash had crashed. Where Lina was standing over her...

"Digger Bolt!" Her arm crackled with power as the spell charged.

Another arm intercepted hers as it fell towards the prone society leader. Lina's eyes widened in shock as her assailant guided her electrified palm into her own stomach. Being an electric attack, the result was as it had been for the rest of the clones.

Michael and Drake held up their weapons in fright as the cloned sorceress collapsed at the feet of her attacker. His face hidden in shadows as he turned to regard them...

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Insert Nacht der Untoten Here (part 2 of 3)

"Mr. Churchill you are drunk!" ~Lady Astor
"Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober." ~Winston Churchill

 -

"My master, it is working!" Said the frail old scientist.

"Then my presence here is no longer required..." Said the shadowy figure, stepping out of the shadows.

"Instruct the engineers to begin fueling the Monster!"

-

"We've secured an army truck!" Chloe shouted, driving up to the collection of agents.

"Actually, it's just Chevila spray painted American army green with some canvas erected over the bed. But it's the best we could do on such short notice..." Ben said, kicking down the tailgate.

Agents began climbing up into the bed, with Tash opting for the passenger seat in the cab.

"Well, it's not exactly period specific. But Chevrolet did produce over 500,000 vehicles for use in both theaters of war. So as long as we keep moving and they only see the badge we should still go unnoticed." Chloe said.

"Couldn't you just cannonize."

"Jared hasn't fully repaired the cannonizer yet, during his last test only half of the truck managed to change form. Besides, with the Sue Storm device active, the fandom is far too weak to effect a change on the truck."

"Fair enough..." Tash said as she grabbed Chloe's Thompson and mowed down a zombie through the open window. "But where did the green paint come from?"

"Let's just say the the next batch of LPMC officers will be out of uniform for awhile.



"They did it!" Michael said, wiping his brow as he reloaded his SVT rifle. "The LPMC mortar bombardment is creating a zombie free radius around the Reichstag."

"That'll give us some time to rest, but eventually they'll run out of ammunition..." Jared said, struggling to catch his breath.

"How are we on ammo Nixie?" Drake asked.

The ex-hologram scowled as she threw down an old gym bag. Micheal tore it open.

"Drake, some of the zombies we've killed have had ammo for your weapon somewhere on their person. So we've managed to salvage 7 clips for you." Michael said, dumping a pile in front of Drake.

"I've managed to salvage several clips from our dead and wounded allies to last me quite awhile, how about you Phoenixia?"

"I've still got several shells left, and I've picked up an abandoned Mosin-Nagant and a sniper scope awhile back so I should be good."

"Jared, I'm afraid I've got some bad news. Your gun is simply too thirsty. Most of the drums I've come across have been empty." Micheal said grimly, handing Jared a measly two drums.

"I'll see if I can't find a German gun around here, or if I'm lucky a couple more drums. I really am starting to get the feel for this gun." Jared said, fondly raising the PPSH.

BOOM! An explosion shattered the silence as a building down the battered street crumpled to the street.

"Good lord, what the crap was that!" Michael yelled.

"That sounded like somebody just ran a car through a blender on the world's biggest sound system, my ears are still ringing!" Drake yelled.

"We need to get off of the roof!" Jared said, "something tells me that there's more where that came from!" Jared said, as if to emphasize the point a the next building blew apart with a thunderous boom, bricks rained down on the roof as the Russian army began charging back into the Reichstag.

"Move! MOVE my comrades! Into the street!" A frantic Reznov shouted.

The army had just reached the parliament floor as a huge section of the wall burst inward, bricks pounded the army as a large potion of the ceiling gave way.

"This way!" Jared shouted, "Tremor!"

Wood and foundation stones blew apart as Jared threw his earth force into the floor boards, exposing an flooded train tunnel.

"Hope everyone's good at holding their breath!" Micheal said as everybody dove in.

Seconds latter with another mighty boom the Reichstag building crumpled to the ground with a deafening crash.



"Halt, where are you going! Deserters will be shot!" Shouted an marine as the agents crashed through the barriers in the courtyard.

"Librarian Art 6: Shield of Silence!" Adrian shouted, erecting a barrier that shielded the hail of American gun fire erupting in their wake.

"Oof!" Rhia shouted, bouncing into the air as one of the rear tires struck a massive pot hole in the road.

"This suspension was really not designed to take this sort of thing..." Chloe added as she fought to keep the speeding truck under control.

Tash attempted to take out a passing zombie but the truck lurched violently as she pulled the trigger and she wound up destroying the rear-view mirror instead.

"If anybody asks, a zombie did that..." she said as she put the gun's safety back on.

"American artillery does not a good road make, hang on!" Chloe said as a massive bump nearly flipped the truck. "I better slow down, it might take us longer but I should remind you that during the 80's most cars didn't come equipped with airbags..."



The four agents swam as fast as they could as large chunks of broken foundation began to slowly sink around them. The agents all broke out their waterproof flashlights.

"I hate swimming..." Jared thought to himself as he edged to avoid a stone.

"I like it in this tunnel, it's dark and moist... a pity about the lack of oxygen and everything. I suggest you swim faster..." The Darkness mentally communicated as Michael kept swimming.

"If you don't anything helpful to say I suggest you don't say anything at all..." The Michael replied.

"Whatever you say, I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts..."

"There!" Drake mouthed as he pointed his flashlight towards a crack in the wall.

Michael swam forward and attached a satchel charge to the crack. Then, after quickly swimming to a safe distance he detonated it.

WOOSH, the water began surging through the aperture, depositing the agents in an adjacent tunnel full of multiple glowing eyes.

"Zombies!" Jared shouted, pulling the trigger on his SMG, he was only answered with a dull click.

"The water's taken out our guns, but no matter!" Michael said as the Darkness' tendrils extended and began tearing apart any zombie that got too close.



"What was that thing..." Drake asked as the last of the zombies were exterminated as they began climbing the stairs onto the streets of Berlin.

Drake was cut off by the sound of German loudspeakers through the city crackling to life.

"Society agents, leave now or be destroyed! You cannot win against my power!" The voice shouted.

"Well, it looks like we've been found out!" Michael said.

"It was bound to happen..." Jared said, reaching into his pack and pulling out his Boomhammer.

"How'd you fit that in there?" Drake asked before giving his signature shout of 'Wardrobe change!'

"The handle telescopes into itself, so I can conceal it more easily then my old one." Jared said.

"Why is the ground shaking?" Phoenixia asked.

Jared's communicator suddenly flared to life.

"Admiral this is Idea! Our airborne surveillance indicates a massive bogey heading your way from the east. I suggest you run!"

"How fast is the target moving?" Jared asked.

"Slow, roughly 9.5 MPH."

"What is it."

"Nothing I've ever seen before... Thermal imaging doesn't turn up a match on any known designs. Although heat signature and carbon readings are consistent with German U boats. But those things weren't ever designed to be amphibious."

The ground shaking increased and the agents grew aware of a mechanical rumbling.

"We need to go!" Michael said, and the agents took off at a run.

"You were warned!" Boomed the voice on the loud speaker. "Now suffer!"

The warning was punctuated by a resounding boom and shortly after a German bakery exploded.

Drake turned to look at the source but could see nothing through a cloud of dust thrown up by a massive vehicle. Black diesel smoke rose into the air from behind the massive object.

The agents broke into an all out dash as Jared picked up his radio.

"General Idea the boogy has opened fire, I have no clear visual. Can you provide artillery support?"

"Negative! Artillery depleted."

"Crap!" Was all Jared could say as a butcher shop was reduced to a crater following a massive discharge from the cloud. The agents were blown off their feet from the force of the explosion.

"Holy crap!" Michael shouted. "That butcher shop was over 45 feet away and I still felt that! That gun is packing way to much power to be conventional armor!"



"Now what?" Rhia asked as they stared into the sea of Japan.

"The trucks too heavy to float and it's too far to swim. How can we possibly get to the island?" Ben asked.

"I have a plan..." Tash replied, picking up her communicator.



"Boomhammer!" Jared shouted, taking out a zombie that had wandered into the street with a sonic powered swing.

"This isn't working!" Drake panted, "We can't keep running like this! That thing will catch us or the zombies will!"

At that moment a building at the side of the road burst inward as a massive shell struck it, spreading rubble across the road and cutting off escape.

The object pursing them began to settle, revealing the largest tank Jared had ever seen rolling to a stop.

"Behold gentleman! The Landkreuzer P 1500 Monster, the largest tank ever designed!" Said the Stu standing on the top of the turret. He was wearing a tattered German uniform underneath of a bearskin loincloth. He flashed a smile with his perfectly white teeth as he raised his megaphone.

"It is 42 meters long, 18 meters with and 7 meters tall with a crew in excess of 100 and ways over 1500 tons. Not to mention the 800mm turret on the front. It seems you have come to this battle unprepared!" said the man, stroking his long wavy black hair.

"Is that..." said Drake.

"Giddius?"






(Note: This story is incomplete, and the remainder of this chapter and the next will serve as placeholders for its future completion. Regular updates will resume on 11/6/13.)

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Insert Nacht der Untoten Here (part 1 of 3)

The first scene is that of a gambler
Who had lost all his money at play
An' he draws his dead mother's ring from his finger
That she wore long ago on her wedding day
It's his last earthly treasure, but he stakes it
Then he bows his head that his shame he may hide
But, when they lifted his head - they found he was dead
That's just a picture from life's other side.
Pictures From Life's Other Side, By Hank Williams, 1951


April 30th, 1945, Berlin. Capital city of Nazi Germany.
The Red Armies advance through the streets has been just as swift as it has been brutal. Any German soldier brave enough to stand in the defense of the capital city of the third Reich was quickly gunned down as the Soviets marched onward to the Reichstag.

"Dimitri, plant charges on the final Flak 88 or our tanks will not be able to move up!" Sergeant Reznov commanded, laying down suppressive fire with his SMG.

Silently the hero of Stalingrad crept up, raising his FG42 Machine gun and mowing down a wave of advancing SS honor guard.

A bullet from a German rifle flew by his head as he knelt down to plant the explosive on the German artillery, Dimitri swallowed as the Axis soldier adjusted his aim and prepared to fire again.

A loud bang and a flash of light and the Nazi had breathed his last, Private Chernov ejected the smoking bullet casing from his Mosin-Nagant and prepared to fire again, taking notice the nod of thanks Dimitri gave him as he finished planting the charge.

The charge blew, effectively giving the AA gun an early retirement as the Red Army advanced up the stairs of the Reichstag.

-

Shuri Castle courtyard, Okinawa Japan.

With their objective complete, Sgt. Roebuck and his fellow marine raiders work was complete. Three of them were now going home. Two of them would be riding home on a boat, the other was being shipped in a wooden box.

Private Miller fiddled with the dog tag of his former friend and ally as he pondered the meaning of it all and the true cost of war. Roebuck walked up and laid a hand on his back.

"Polonsky's death was not your fault Miller, if I hadn't ordered you to stand down when I did he might still be alive." Roebuck said as army trucks drove into the courtyard, collecting the dead and salvaging whatever weapons and ammunition they could.

Miller turned to face Roebuck but remained silent, for there was nothing to say.

A marine raider stepped out of the truck and waived to them, indicating that there was room in the truck if they wanted to ride along. Miller turned and took one last look at the courtyard before slowly making his way to the truck.

-

Berlin, threshold of the Reichstag.

The last of the honor guard fell, for a brief moment something existed that many of the 3rd Shock Army had not experienced since the beginning of the war: Absolute silence.

"Advance men! Into the heart of the fascist Reich!" Reznov shouted, as the army began to move. Chernov the flag bearer led the charge.

Suddenly the doors of the building exploded outwards as a soldier that had been lying in wait barged out, gripping the trigger mechanism on his flamethrower.

A viscous tendril of fire lashed out from the mouth of the weapon, engulfing Chernov. The hammer-and-sickle covered flag of his homeland never once left his hand as he fell to the ground.

"Chernov!" Reznov yelled as Dimitri opened fire, killing the flamethrower.

The men all approached their fallen comrade as he lay dying, Reznov reached down and removed the charred, yet intact diary from his pocket.

"Someone should read this," he muttered slowly as Chernov gave up the ghost. "Onward men, his death will not go unpunished!"

The Red Army poured up the steps of the Reichstag, hearts set on avenging their fallen comrades.

-

In a bunker somewhere in Berlin, the sounds of battle can be heard above.

"It is finally ready my master..." An ancient scientist replied, as he connected one final wire to a futuristic looking machine that did not look like it belonged in the year 1945. Vacuum tubes and radio transistors were littered about the room, a telegraph machine ticked away steadily in the corner.

"I was beginning to think that the war would be over before you would complete your work." The shadowy figure called master replied, shouldering a massive sword.

"Shall I turn it on?"

"Yes... for the time of reckoning is nigh!" The figure shouted dramatically as the scientist pulled a lever, a shower of sparks erupted from the mechanism as the machine hummed to life. Almost instantly the telegraph machine's speed doubled, punching out digits as fast as the mechanical arm could move.

Throughout the city dead Nazi's began to rise from where their corpses had fallen, stiff muscles cracked as a brain that had long stopped functioning suddenly restarted and began commanding limbs to move again. All throughout Europe, the dead were rising.

On the steps of the Reichstag, Private Chernov's burned eyelids fluttered open, revealing two glowing yellow orbs beneath as with deliberate effort he began to stand.

Back in the subbasement, the shadowy figure whispered to himself, "You drove them deep into the heart of Reich. You thought they were dead. You were wrong."

He began to laugh.

-

Present day, Jared's room in the sleeping quarters of the Library Arcanium.

Jared awoke to the sound of pounding fists on his door, after jolting awake he rolled over and glanced at his alarm clock, it was one thirty in the morning.

Jared slipped on a pair of sweat pants and a wife-beater and answered the door for a frantic looking Chloe.

"What is so important that it couldn't wait until morning?" Jared asked his former lab mate.

"Tash has called an emergency meeting, help me wake up the remaining American agents, this cannot wait!" Chloe said, dragging Jared out of the room and slamming the door shut behind him.

"Why, what's happened?" Jared asked, suddenly feeling much more awake.

"The Sue Storm device has gone active..."

Jared felt his heart skip a beat.

-


"Everything that was asked of us, we've done. Every night we lay in a filthy foxhole praying the enemy won't slit our throats. Every day we spent crawling through the mud and dirt while bullets whistled all around. But this is the last time we're going to have to put our lives on the line. This is the enemy's last stand. When we take Shuri Castle, we go home. All of us." Sgt Roebuck

Roebuck and the remaining marines had barely made it into the truck before the dead began to rise. Miller hastily grabbed his M1 Garand rifle from the weapons crate in the back as he watched the swarms of the imperial zombies rising out of the ditches.

"Banzai charge!" Shouted a marine.

"No, somethings wrong. These troops are unarmed! Banzai may be glad to sacrifice their lives for their country, but they aren't stupid! They wouldn't do a suicide run if they had no hope of killing us." Roebuck shouted, loading a trench gun.

The zombies swarmed the road as the driver of the truck shifted into reverse and hit the gas.

"What in God's name are these things?" Roebuck shouted as he witnessed a marine fall beneath a wave of the walking dead.

"These aren't the enemy! These men were killed just this morning!" A soldier shouted, opening fire.

-

Several hours later the marines had fallen back to Shuri Castle. The structure's outer barrier consisted of many high walls that worked very well at keeping ancient intruders and zombies out. Unfortunately it was not so effective against the American artillery the had stricken it the day before and the assaulted castle's many wounds left many structural weaknesses that the zombies could freely exploit. As the battle drew on the marine's weapons began to run out and they were forced to begin to fall back to the inner courtyard. Somewhere in the middle of all this chaos nobody seemed to notice seven figures materialize on the roof.

"Rhia, we've got a zombie that's about the tear through the blockade on the east wall!"

"I see it, I'm taking the shot," Rhia whispered from beneath the bandanna across her face. She held her breath as she lined up her Springfield sniper rifle, taking much care with her aim as she lead her target. There was a flash of light as she pulled the trigger and the bullet began its course into the zombie. It's body fell back to the earth it came from with a spattering noise and a flop. Ingrid ejected the bullet casing and loaded a fresh one.

"Good shot, let's keep moving..." Chloe whispered, switching the safety off on her Thompson, taking extra care not to slide off the slanted roof tiles.

-

Berlin

Jared crawled around the floor of the burned Reichstag building searching for a new drum for his PPS, everywhere around him members of the Soviet forces flung lead, steel and blood into the unending horde.

"Don't you find it ironic that in the 1930's Hitler and the Nazi party blamed the fire in the Reichstag on the German Communists party and now Communists are attempting to save the aforementioned building from ruin?" General Idea mused from Jared's fake Russian uniform collar.

"Cram the history lesson and tell me how to reload this thing..." Jared answered, pulling an abandoned drum clip out from beneath a fallen beam.

The barrier behind Jared suddenly exploded as two zombies burst into the room.

Idea shouted as a zombie ran up behind Jared and dealt him a crushing blow before Jared could draw his sidearm.

Jared fell down and desperately attempted his pistol, gasping for the air that had been knocked out of him.

Two loud bangs penetrated the air as the zombies suddenly became much lighter around the midsection, Jared felt like he was going to be sick.

"You okay?" Phenoxia asked as she pulled out a hypodermic needle and stabbed it into Jared's thigh.

"That is not one for the resume!" Jared said softly, standing up.

"What?"

"Nothing, most characters from zombie mode have a series of humorous one liners, I'm experimenting..." Jared said, standing.

"Well it doesn't seem appropriate!" Phenoxia replied, reloading her sawed off shotgun.

"Well if I wasn't laughing, I'd be crying..." Jared replied, resuming his struggle with the drum clip.

Phenoxia ran up to the window and quickly began rebuilding the barrier.

"So the Germans have been holding out on us, now we face the real army!" Reznov shouted from the balcony as he blasted a zombie.

Jared finally got the clip changed and ran up to the second floor.

Three zombies broke through the barrier at the top and began rushing the stairs, Jared pulled the trigger and the bullets began to fly.

Arms and legs were shredded as the Soviet weaponry's high rate of fire tore into the zombies. To Jared's horror they didn't even slowed down.

"Why won't they die!" Jared shouted in frustration as he vaulted over the railing.

"Because they are already dead?" Idea offered.

"Not helping!" Jared growled, tearing into the approaching zombies again.

Jared's combination of spraying and praying eventually resulted in one of the zombies collapsing in a broken heap as the PPS' dull click indicated that Jared was once again out of ammo. Drake came from around the corner and finished the other two off with his MP40.

"In Soviet Russia, The grenades cook you!" Jared shouted, flinging the explosive through the shattered barrier, taking out another zombie.

"Jared, no offense but you are severely unqualified for this mission..." Drake said, whipping sweat from his brow with the dusty sleeve of his fake uniform.

"None taken, I'm just here for my experience with Sue Storm, I've never had more then basic arms training..." Jared replied sheepishly.

"It's astonishing how you ever made it to the rank of Admiral!" Idea added.

"Quite you."

-

Although it wasn't her usual choice of weapon, Tash couldn't deny that the M1 Garand rifle's bayonet was quite effective for her fighting style, she would of rather have had her sword but it was tough enough maintaining her disguise as it was.

"Has Charis discovered where the Stu is yet?" Ben asked, fast stepping out of a zombie's lunge.

"Code Words Ben! We're supposed to be Marine's here!" Adrian hissed, slaying the zombie with his Bowie knife. "We need to blend in with these soldiers if we want to have the best chance of pulling this operation off..."

"Er, has headquarters located Hitler's bunker yet?" he asked.

"Ben, We're in Japan... We have no reason for... Never mind," Tash said, face palming.

"To answer your question no, we only know he's either here or in Berlin although it's equally likely that there are devices in both locations, Engineering Corps is still tracking the target." Chloe said, trying to make her voice sound as masculine as possible beneath her heavy face guard.

The American Marines continued the fight against the Imperial undead for several hours with little success, for every zombie that fell two more would rise to take it's place. Moral was low and munitions were lower still.

"This is getting us nowhere!" Adrian shouted, "We haven't made any progress since we've gotten here, and we still don't even know where the Stu is!" Adrian shouted.

"We can't keep this up Adrian, both teams are exhausted... We need to rethink our strategy..." Tash replied, putting three rounds into a zombie with three distinct pops of her Garand.

The zombie didn't stop and hurled itself violently on top of her, Tash repeatedly began stabbing the abomination with her bayonet. With a mighty heave and a burst of fire magic she thrust her rifle bayonet clean through the zombies neck.

Adrian bounded over just in time to throw the zombie of off her with a powerful shoulder tackle.

Tash shot Adrian a look that expressed a simple, wordless thanks as she raised her rifle and unloaded the rest of her clip into the head of the final zombie in the courtyard.

"Okay everybody, we only have a few minutes before the next wave arrives... I want everybody to get to the barracks for extraction..."

"Hold on... I've got a tiny isolated blip on the radar, it's coming from a small island about 25 miles south of the coast!" Pete replied, toying with the frequency on his transistor radio."

"Could it be our target?" Adrian asked while reviving a fallen marine.

"Too much interference... I absolutely cannot tell, but I think it's probable." Pete replied grimly.

Adrian chewed his lip, "Alright, then we stay."

Tash turned to face the group.

"Chloe, Ben, go look around and see if you can't find some army trucks that still run. Ingrid! Get on the roof of that tower and cover them. I don't want to spend another bloody minute hear then I have to..."

-

It came as no surprise to Jared when they received the order to pull back to the roof, the struggle seemed very hopeless; the powerful soviet forces simply did not have the numbers to hold the Reichstag. It was only a matter of time before their ammo supply ran dry.

"Let's go..." Michael ordered, and the Berlin team advanced up the stairs.

"The problem is our usual MO of go-in-and-look-for-the-stu just doesn't work when we're confined to such a small area..." Drake replied.

"Not to mention that we just can't get past infinite waves of the undead when we only have a finite amount of ammo and energy." Jared added, aiming his gun towards an advancing horde as he slowly backed up the stairs, although there was no point as he had run out of ammo long ago.

Drake tossed a grenade into their midst, effectively dispatching them.

"Whoever survived that is probably just a crawler, we'll get by." Drake said as a cloud of dust rose up.

Jared pulled out his secondary pistol and inserted his final clip.

"Where'd Micheal and Nixie go?" Drake asked as he and Jared reached the top of the stairs.

"There are so many Soviets up here they probably just got lost among them. We'll meet em on the roof." Jared said.

"Couldn't we just use the LPMC to track him down?" Drake asked.

"Sorry, I sent Idea and his men on a special assignment a half of an hour ago."

Tiny plotholes opened somewhere in the corner of a long forgotten Nazi foxhole.

"Men, we require the German artillery at this outpost, we believe it to be deserted. But stay alert just in case..." General Idea said, fitting a silencer on a miniature Thompson SMG.

"Sir, remind me again why we're using all these inferior firearms." Colonel O'Korn asked, loading his Springfield.

"You remember the mission briefing don't you? Period weapons only soldier!" Idea harshly whispered.

"Does that apply to us?"

"SHUT UP!"

The little green army man advanced along the makeshift building's sandbag walls, reaching what could be considered the command post.

"Hold! I hear voices." Idea said, peering around the corner.

"Zees are dark time mein Freund." Said a Nazi officer slamming down a shot glass.

"Aye. Zee war es all but lost. Yet our superiors still expect us to fight to zee last. It is such a vaste. Now our fallen comrades are rising, but it ez not for Germany they are fighting. No, I've seen men I've fought beside for years torn down by zee corpses of men who fought under there command. It makes no sense to me."

The officer poured himself and the soldier across from him another drink.

"Nor to me mein Freund, nor to me." Said the officer as he drank the liquor.

"Surgeon! Industry!" Idea whispered.

"Yes general." The two units said in unison.

"Execute maneuver stille Nacht," He said.

"GGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Industry shouted, squeezing of several rounds from his BAR and charging into the room.

"Vat iz zhis?" The officers said, standing up.

"I thought Germany was supposed to be the land of toys?" Industry shouted at the top of his voice synthesizer.

Industry opened fire, tiny bullets whizzed through the air, striking the glass on the table. Liquor and tiny shards flew every where.

"Surgeon! NOW!" Idea shouted.

"GAAH!" One of the officers shouted, grabbing his ankle and pulling out a tiny syringe. It was only a second before his eyes rolled back and he fell to the floor.

"You'll pay for that!" The second man said, drawing his Gewehr 43.

BONK! A LPMC bomber slammed into the officers' head, he fell to the floor.

"Sorry, didn't have another syringe... had to make some changes to the plan." Surgeon said, waving at the pilot that it is okay to land.

Idea shook his head disapprovingly as he and the LPMC advanced past another sandbag wall.

"Bingo!" He shouted, shouldering his weapon and picking up his radio.

"Idea to the Admiral, we have secured the artillery!"

"Great!" A flustered and increasingly irritable Jared shouted, "Open fire on the streets outside the Reichstag! We are going to push these zombies back and make our way into the city no matter how many flipping Zombies stand in our way!" Jared said, picking up an abandoned PPS clip and reloading.

Drake formed up behind him as the two of them began firing a spray into the zombies advancing up the stairs.

"As Gene Simmons put so eloquently, 'It's a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll!'" Jared shouted.

"Brian Johnson!" Drake said,

"Who?"

"Brian Johnson is the lead singer for AC/DC, not Gene Simmons."

"Drake, you can be right, or you can be killing zombies. It's your call."

"I think I'll just do both!" Drake said, resuming his attack.

Friday, October 25, 2013

Insert Happy Birthday, Society Style Here

It was a rather quiet day for the Society. While their normal antics continued, there were very few Sue alerts. However, one Agent had a reason not to be quiet, though he didn't use it. For it was the birthday of Agent Kyle. Other than going up to Rhia and asking for a personal-sized chocolate cake to be delivered, he mostly stayed in his room while playing soft and calming music. Of course, Rhia had asked what the cake was for and Kyle told her that his birthday was that day.

Anyway, Kyle's relaxing to the music in his room when his com unit went off. He paused the music and pulled the com unit out of his Astral Vault.

"Hello?" was his irritated greeting.

"Did I interrupt your music again?" Adrian's voice came through the device.

"Yeah... New mission?" Kyle's tone calmed down at the thought of going to a fandom.

"Shouldn't take too long, just a low level Sue."

"Low level? I know I need to go on more missions, but you guys usually give me heavy stuff."

"Are you complaining?" The questioning tone was rather poignant.

"Of course not! I'll be there shortly."

"There's currently a betting pool to see how fast Kyle finishes this," Michael spoke to the other leaders, "Majority seems to think that it'll only be half an hour for him to get back... at latest."

"Considering the level of Sue, that's not even a gamble. Which means we've got very little time to get everything done," Tash commented.

"Don't worry. Since we started shortly after Rhia told us, even half an hour will be plenty of time. The mission was just to ensure he wouldn't accidently spoil the surprise," Adrian mentioned. Indeed, everything they needed for this surprise birthday party was ready. All they had to do was set it up.

Soon enough, Kyle returned from the mission, carrying a hogtied Sue, one Tiffany Maddock Springtime Fresh. While he did notice that only some newbie Agents were in the monitor room, he shrugged it off as he got one to take the Sue to a holding cells. With that out of the way, Kyle began thinking about what he wanted to do next.

"What to do..." he thought out loud. "Eh, it's not like I have anything planned for today. Might as well just get a good book to read and relax back in my room."

He had been to the Commons often enough to know several books there that he liked, so he figured he'd swing by there to get one. It was to his surprise and confusion that the light was off. However, once he stepped a few feet into the room, all the lights came on and every Society member present shouted, "SURPRISE!"

It was a surprise for Kyle, alright. Several Agents wondered if his brain had shut down while he stood there looking flabbergasted. After a minute or so, he shook his head to clear his thoughts and asked.

"What the heck's all this?" Throughout the Commons were Happy Birthday banners and balloons, while the majority stood around an impressively sized birthday cake.

"I mentioned that it was your birthday to Micheal and Tash and they decided to make it a party." Rhia spoke up. Kyle blinked and looked stunned, almost like a birthday party was a foreign concept.

"A birthday party? For me?"

"You've never had one before?" Marcus asked with a bit of surprise in his voice.

"Well, not in this kind of fashion. My family would usually just have a dinner chosen by the birthday person and sometimes a cake."

"SOMETIMES A CAKE?" A majority of the people present shouted that one.

"That's how it was at times," Kyle replied with a shrug. "It was still a family celebration and that was good enough."

"Then we'll just have to make this one better!" Claire exclaimed happily.

Kyle gave a small smile, "It already is."

Several minutes later, the cake was gone and the Agents started the biggest part of usual birthday parties. That is, the party games! Sure, everyone could have gone their seperate ways after the cake was finished, but that would be a rather boring end to this story... Hey, I'm the narrator. I can break the Fourth Wall anytime I want!

Anyway, some of the games set up included various board games, Multiplayer shooters and DDR variants. While I could say who was playing what, that'd be mostly needless details to this story. Though, there was Phoenixia conscripting people to play twister with her while trying to convince someone to handle the spinner.

During a pause in getting his butt kicked at Halo, Kyle was approached by Tyler, who was carrying a plate of cookies. The short, omnivorous Agent apparently had a bet he wanted to make with the birthday boy.

"I'll give you these chocolate chip cookies I stole from one of Adrian's hiding places if you take a swig of Firebrand Whiskey."

Kyle gave the shorter Agent an appraising look before saying, "I'll take that bet. Just be ready to pay up, I don't like being swindled out of anything."

Walking over to Ben, who was also taking a break from tearing it up at Guitar Hero, the birthday Agent asked for some of the Firebrand Whiskey. When Kyle told the Metal obsessed agent about the bet, the metalhead shrugged before taking the flask from his hip and handing it to his fellow. Adrian, having gotten away from Phoenixia's Twister draft, had watched Tyler make the bet with Kyle and the subsequent walk over to Ben. However, once he saw Ben give Kyle the flask of Firebrand Whiskey, his eyes went wide before running over to stop it while shouting.

"Don't let him drink any!" Unfortunately, everyone who heard Adrian just looked up confused while he was unable to reach Kyle before he took a drink. The birthday Agent calmly closed the flask and returned it to Ben before starting to walk back to claim his prize. About halfway, however, the iced tea took effect.

"Hot... HOT, I feel TOO HOT! HOT, HOT, HOT! HOTHOTHOTHOT!" Kyle's face was full of surprise and pain as the air around him burst into flames, coating him like an aura. All at once, most of the Agents that noticed what was happening immediate started running around in a panic while others got fire hoses from somewhere and started spraying Kyle. While it helped put out some of the fire, most of the water just turned into steam.

Adrian watched and sighed before taking a deep breath and shouted, "CALM DOWN!"

All the panicing Agents ground to a halt while a record scratch indicated that everything mostly paused. After taking another deep breath, Adrian continued.

"Since I'm the only one here who figured out what's going on, I'm going to say that we'll just have to wait for Kyle to stop making that fire." When some of the Society started wondering out loud about why they have to wait, Adrian continued, "Kyle drank some of Ben's Firebrand Whiskey and until the sugar's been exhausted, he's going to continue producing more of those flames. Thus, why we have to wait."

"But isn't it hurting him?" Claire asked with some worry in her voice. Phoenixia was the one who answered.

"Only as much as his usual abilities do... he was more surprised by the amount of energy that flooded him."

After a moment of silence for everyone to figure out what to do now that the birthday boy was almost literally on fire, Inara stepped closer to Kyle and asked.

"Hey, you alright in there?" Kyle didn't answer right away, his head was lowered so his eyes couldn't be seen. However, in the relative quiet of the room, a song started playing. A woman singing opera could be heard, followed by a piano adding a swift rhythm. As it progressed to include a man rapping, several Agents present exclaimed at once.

"This is Libera Me from Hell! Where is it coming from?" Immediately, Adrian, Phoenixia and Tash pointed at Kyle. He lifted his head and everyone could see that he somehow got a pair of sharp looking sunglasses.

"Of course I'm alright! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?" The flames surrounding him began spiralling, becoming like a cone. Kyle pointed upwards as he continued. "Mine is the drill that will pierce the Heavens!"

Many Agents were flabbergasted at Kyle acting like that. Christoph recovered first and then asked.

"Why is Lord Kyle acting like Kamina and Simon from Gurren Lagann?" While some of the Agents were still flabbergasted, others that have recovered looked at the ninja as they had no idea who those guys were. Phoenixia stepped up to give her theory.

"While I'm not too sure, I think all of the excess energy inside him has made Kyle hotblooded." Suddenly, a door burst open to reveal Shirley, who looked livid.

"Your kidneys are mine, 'birthday boy'," the mad stick spat.

"Bring it on, you overgrown toothpick! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM KICK!" The blazing Agent launched himself like he was shot out of a gun. Shirley snarled.

"I'm feasting on your entrails for that one!" The Cliche Stick launched herself equally. However, as she got close to him, she came into contact with the constantly generating fire and got burned before getting a faceful of Kyle's boots.

"Shirley was BURNED?" Ben shouted in disbelief. Apparently in response, the flames around Kyle compressed around his mission suit and hair. When it stopped, he looked like a fiery cosplay of M. Bison.

"OF COURSE!" Several of the Agents present just fell over like they were in an anime. Shirley seemed to recover quickly after that and the two continued fighting. From various nooks and crannies, the Little Plastic Marine Corp started swarming to assist Kyle in his fight against the Cliche Stick.

"Our ally is in battle against Shirley! We are to provide covering fire!" The Agents present for the party watched the ensuing battle between the currently Hotblooded birthday boy, several hundreds of tiny plastic army men and a violent mobile stick. At this point, it's all crazy...and then Leonard joined the fray. Thankfully, the LPMC were able to keep him from getting close to Kyle and Shirley so he wouldn't get caught in the flames.

The fight dragged on for several minutes, many Agents fled to avoid getting caught up in the carnage. The ones who stayed to watch saw the final blow strike. Kyle, covered in scratches and gashes, compacted all of his flames around his hand for one last attack.

"This hand of mine is burning red! Its loud roar tells me to grasp victory!" Shirley, her singes the only things indicating her injuries, snarled incoherently as he spoke. In what would be the deciding blow of the battle, she charged with claws held high and her fangs gaping with intent to tearing the Agent limb from limb.

"ERUPTING! BURNING!" Kyle charged as well, his immolating hand pulled back for a thrust. "FINGER!"

As the two forces crashed against one another, a blinding flash flared up. The roar of energy almost drowned out the words that brought about the climactic finale.

"HEAT... END!" Like several of Ben's nukes going off at once, an explosion enveloped the watching Agents. When the smoked cleared and the dust settled, the results were evident. Shirley had been blown clear through several walls and Kyle was now unconscious on the floor.

Adrian had a Heroic BSoD at the damage done during the battle while the remaining leaders were trying to determine the punishment for everyone involved.

By the time Kyle woke up, he had been moved to the medical ward with his gashes bandaged. He was alone and utterly confused. Then the memories of his fight with Shirley returned to him.

"...Mental note, no drinking Firebrand Whiskey in the Library." He was pleased to note that he had no problems speaking, unlike other times he ended up in the medical ward. However, one memory surfaced and that caused Kyle to bellow loud enough for several Agents to jump when they were in rooms far away.

"TYLER, YOU NEVER GAVE ME THOSE COOKIES!"