Thursday, November 10, 2011

Insert Disasterous Final Battle Here

The library had never seen as much activity as it had since Emily had shown up. In fact, the very owner of the library seethed and tugged at his platinum blonde hair as the cute little girl hummed happily, currently holding a red crayon in her little right hand. To anyone else, this was adorable. To Adrian…

"See, I wouldn't mind it so much if she WASN'T DRAWING IN MY BOOK!"

"Oh calm down, she's just ten years old!" Tash whispered up at her boyfriend.

"She. IS. DRAWING. IN. MY. BOOKS. IN. MY. LIBRARY." He emphasized, hitting his fist in his hand. "She is ruining my library!" He seethed and rubbed his temples. "I could mind the whole mural she drew the first day here. Even the fact she decided to paper mache out the files. You actually liked that. But when she violates my books—"

"Hey, Adrian, look, look at the shiny!" Claire exclaimed as she popped out of the doorway, holding a laser pointer and pointed it at the floor.

Adrian's attention went right to that, and he yowled, and jumped at it, very happy looking.

"Thanks Clairey…" Tash sighed in relief. "I'm running out of excuses to use for Adrian, and ear rubs only go so far…"

"Gasp! Ear rubs only go so far?" Claire asked in shock horror, slapping her cheek in surprise.

"I know!" She exclaimed. "But…" She sighed and walked over, rubbing Emily's head sweetly like an aunt would. "Meh, I just wish that people would give Emily a chance. She may have been a Sue but…she's better now."

"You can't blame people for not being used to her just yet," Miri said. "They've been dealing with Willowe and her siblings for a while… it'll take a while."

"Well can you blame them?" Claire asked. "I mean she's one of Willowe's sisters…."

Emily stopped drawing in the book for a mere moment to listen to the conversation the three older women were having. She pretended to color for the sake of sneaky listening.

"Not a lot of people are going to warm up to her." Claire continued. "Truth be told…I'm not so sure I trust her one hundred percent…"

Emily bit her lip gently.

"That may be true." Tash whispered. "But it's not fair for her, just because she's Willowe's sister…"

"We just need to keep a close eye on her is all," Miri said, "I mean… hm?"

All three girls looked up to see a small form running off down the library, her hand up by her eyes.

"Emily, wait!" Tash exclaimed. She dashed off after her, as did Claire and Miri behind her.

Adrian blinked as he stared up at the wall, tilting his head in curiosity. Where had the shiny little light gone…?

"We're getting some high readings in these fandoms," Marcus said calmly as he looked up at the large computer monitor which, indeed, showed quite a spike in Sue energies. "Someone may need to go in there and see what's up."

He looked behind him and sighed. "Eventually, I'll learn to stop talking to myself."

He gestured, and a plot hole appeared in front of him. He knew when it was his turn, and it was his turn to jump into the fray.

No sooner did the plot hole appear, than the figure of a small ten year old rushed right past him and into the portal. It closed behind him.

Marcus was left alone once again, blinking in confusion.

Emily didn't stop until she was deep in the forest of whatever fandom she had landed in and panted as she finally stopped. She was panting and looking around. Great, now she was lost. She leaned against the tree and curled up a bit. A small tear fell down her cheek. She pressed her forehead against her knee, and bit her lip.

A twig snapped off to the side of her.

She looked up, her eyes red and wet with tears. If it was something native to the fandom, she was in trouble. She held her breath and watched as a figure walked out of the darkness.

Her eyes widened at the sight.

Alastor smirked.

"Hey sis."

"If you're talking about the little ten year old blur that just shot past me…" Marcus said to a panting Claire, Tash and Miri, who had just asked the whereabouts of the small child. "I think she might have been the one who just ran into my portal…"

"She just ran through the portal?" Tash panted, grabbing her knees from the long run from one side of the library to the other. Claire was the first to regain her breath.

"Well, what fandom did she run into?" She asked.

"I'm not sure." Marcus said with a shrug. "I just set the portal to the location with the strongest ratings on the Sue/Stu level. If you want, I can probably reset the portal direction to take you right to where he landed…"

"Could you do that Marcus?" Tash asked. "We need to get her back, fast."

"Yeah, yeah, no problem." He turned around, and with a very fast key stroke, a glowing yellow portal appeared in front of the girls. "There ya go." He said. "Good luck grabbing her, get any trouble and just call me."

"Got it." Claire said. "Thanks Marcus." And was the first to step in…

And a hand closed around her throat as soon as she landed. "Hello there gorgeous." Alastor grinned, a tied up, crying Emily behind him.

The seconds turned to minutes, and the minutes to hours. And the boyfriends were absolutely worried sick.
"Why hasn't she called me yet," Michael whispered in worry, as he looked down at his two-way communicator he gave to Claire in just such an occasion. He was biting his lip, and whimpered.

For all you know, she's just laying in a ditch somewhere, the Stu having—

Michael, having enough of the Darkness' bull, grabbed the glow stick around his neck and jammed it into the snakes mouth, causing the parasite to screech in agony and slide back into his back.

Adrian was also extremely worried. "They would have called if something happened to them, right?" he asked his friend after a moment. "I'm sure they're just having fun in the fandom and didn't wanna be interrupted."

"That's probably it." He said with a nod.

A moment passed.

"I say we go double check."

"Right on the nose."

"You people really need to keep track of the things you lose." Marcus grumbled as he typed in the same key stroke as before, and the swirling portal appeared in front of the Gary Stu Gutter and the Librarian. "If you don't come back this time, I'm not sending someone after this. I rather like having someone in the library to clean up."

"Thanks for the support Marcus." Adrian rolled his eyes and stepped into the portal, followed by Michael.

The second they did step on the ground, however, they realized a trap was set a bit too late.

"Pitfalls." Michael said bluntly at the very bottom of the hand dug pit, staring at the wall with a look of disdain on his face. "These things went out of style when Team Rocket used them."

"Well, it's not a problem." Adrian said. "We can just climb to the top and deal with whatever dug this hole."

"I'll give you a hint!" grinned a very familiar looking face from the very top of the hole. "His name starts with an A, is extremely gorgeous, and kidnapped your little friends."

"Alastor!" Michael snarled, jumping to his feet. "Where the hell is Claire?"

"And Tash?" Alastor commented, jumping to his own feet.

"Oh, don't you worry, they're right here, safe and sound." He said, shrugging in a bored manner. He rolled over onto his stomach, staring down at them with a very catlike looking smirk on his face. "You've got nothing to worry about Mikey-Boy. A thing as perfect as YOUR girlfriend, I wouldn't consider hurting. She'd make a pretty little thing for my side when I end up taking over the world."

"You're not gonna touch her!" He shouted as his dark tentacle erupted from his back, and he began to scale the walls, Adrian close behind him as he rushed up the side.

Alastor jumped back as both boys erupted from the hole, Michael with his dark tentacles writhing behind him and Adrian with his sword out.

"I… I just gotta ask." Adrian began. "Was there any point to that pitfall?"

"Nah, that was left there by the original makers." Adrian said. "You guys just happened to hop into it."

"Who were the original makers?"

A large explosion was heard off in the distance.

"Ah!" Alastor laughed. "There they go now!"


"Five points for me," Michael grumbled under his breath.

"Now then," Alastor held his hands out to the side, revealing a quartet of girls, three of which looked about ready to bite off Alastor's head and spit it out onto him again, and then maybe kick him around a few times. "I believe these lovely things belong to you?"

"It's not gonna be that easy, is it?" Michael asked, narrowing his eyes at his mortal enemy, all ready knowing the answer.


And Alastor dashed over to him in a split second, basically slapping the speed of light in the face and laughing at it, and socked his enemy in the stomach. Michael gasped and grasped at his abdomen, when Alastor's knee went up and caught his enemy in the face, sending him reeling right back down the pitfall. "Dammit!" his shout echoed.

Alastor was also quick enough to grasp Adrian's blade with his hand before it could connect with his neck. Twisting the blade and twisting the librarians arm in the process, he threw a fist, in the intention to snap the warrior's arm…

Adrian twitched just enough to allow his arm further movement and threw a punch at his face. This one did connect, luckily, and let him release Adrian from his grip. With his sword in hand, he took another swing at the Stu, and did connect this time. It bounced off, however, much to the annoyance of him.

"Please, a sword hurt me?" Alastor asked, cracking his neck. "Gonna need to resort to hand to hand combat for this battle, book boy." He said, circling him slowly.

"Fine, how about footprint? Secret Librarian Art… BOOT TO THE HEAD!" And launched himself at his opponent…

Alastor moved out of the way at the last second…

And Adrian hit the climbing Michael, who had just gotten back up from the hole. Michael screamed another obscenity on the way down.

"Sorry Michael!" Adrian apologized down to his friend as his body hit with another thud.

"I hate you all!"

"Adrian, watch out!" Tash screamed from behind.

Adrian turned around just in time for Alastor to hit him… specifically, with a tree.

Adrian, crashing through several trees, hit the last one with a thud, and felt it snap in half, gawking at the smirking Alastor. "Did… did you just hit me with a TREE?"

"I'm past subtlety my friend," Alastor said, throwing the tree off to the side, hitting Michael, knocking him down the hole again ("DAMMIT!"), and began to walk down the path to his next victim…

"Hey, soulless, dark and evil!"

He looked to the side just in time to see Claire, growling and baring her teeth, deliver a kick to the face of Alastor, causing the Stu to reel backwards and grip his now cut mouth.

"That's what you get for all the hell you did for my baby!" She shouted, her right eye twitching. "And for even thinking I'll be a "pretty little" ANYTHING with you!"

"Go baby!" Michael shouted from the hole, which he began to climb once again, without the aid of the Darkness, who had gotten tired of being used like that.

Claire, who had also cut Tash and Miri free, smirked as she crossed her arms, her arm blades materializing over them. "Now then," She said. "I believe you were about to get slammed around for a little bit?"

"Then by all means!" Alastor held his hands up in an invitation. "Slam away, but be warned, I may like it."

Shuddering, Claire ran forward and began to slice at Adrian's exposed body, cutting away his clothing in an attempt to get at his skin. He blocked one particular blow to his face, and jumped into the air, kicking at her. She grunted and went flying back, hitting a tree, coughing as the air was knocked from her. She jumped back into the fray, her arm blades swinging and flashing.

Miri, wanting to see if she could jump in with a sneak attack, shot out from behind one of the trees, her staff in hand and aimed her blow for the back of Alastor's head.

Sadly, like all good Stu's, he sensed it coming and not only turned around to block it, he twisted it out of her grip, hit her in the stomach, knocked Claire away, fended off a blow from an attacking duo of Adrian and Tash, and flicked it over his shoulder, hitting Michael in the forehead and sending him back down the pitfall.

"Come on!" Alastor grinned. "Even four of the Society members BEST can't even take me on?"

"I'm still here!" Michael grunted from the hole.

"You're in a hole, you don't count." He pointed out.


"So, I was thinking." Alastor said, tilting his head to the side and put his hands behind him. "I may wanna level the playing field a little bit…and what better way than this?" He pulled out a swirling, chaotic looking pill, the size of a ping pong ball.

"What is that?" Tash asked.

"Oh, it's kinda like your little gadget, a Crossover, but much, much more powerful. Yours can only fuse two fandoms together… mine can do as many I want, no limitations in the least."

All four pairs of eyes opened wide.

"So… I was thinking… how about we make it fun, and let ALL the fandom's come here for a little get together?"

"Alastor, don't!" Claire shouted. "That could have catastrophic consequences!"

"I know! Should be LOADS of fun!" And threw the pill to the ground. It exploded.

And the universe exploded in and out of itself, entities that were never meant to be ballooned into existence before evaporating into whatever sickening dimension the creature came from. Colors that were never meant to be, and shall never be swarmed over the inhabitants of the battle, turning them into a horrific, mind blowing rainbow. The ground exploded, reformed, melted, solidified, and ultimate morphed back into some chaotic stepping stone pattern, before they all fit together. The color scheme went upside down, random natural disasters erupted around the landscape, from tornados, to volcanoes, to tidal waves, to somehow extreme drought. Chaos ruled for the moment, and it was giggling with excitement.

"Yes!" Alastor cackled, his voice as high pitched as a chipmunk. "The very throes of the universe are coming together at the seams, universes that were never meant to be are forced to fuse! Enemies meeting enemies, heroes meeting heroes, and it's all MY DOING!"

"Whoa!" Adrian screamed, his voice as deep and low pitched as anything ever made. "I think he's gone insane!"

"What on earth was your first clue!" Claire shouted, her voice a very thick, Russian accent to it. She blushed, and grasped her throat. "Oh god, my voice!"

"At least you don't sound like freaking Guilamon!" Miri shouted, her voice just that, exactly like that of the Abridged Version of Serenity Wheeler.

"Gniyas er'uoy tahw dnatsrednu nac uoy tsael ta!" Tash gibbered in backwards. "Elbissop neve siht si woh?"

"Almost there!" Alastor cackled in his adorable little chipmunk voice. "All the fandoms shall be ripe for the picking! All of the world shall be mine! MINE TO RULE! MINE… TO CONTROL!"

And just as everything started going even more insane… it stopped.

"Oh thank GOD," Claire gasped, her voice back to its melodious British accent.

"Thank god is right." Miri groaned, rubbing her voice slowly.

"Still trying to figure out how THAT worked." Tash whispered, grimacing.

"Um…guys?" Adrian gulped hard. "Look."

All three of the girls, in their little glee of having their voices back, looked up, and gasped.

The world had gone chaotic.

Off in the distance stood the imposing form of Hogwarts, which was only battling for views that were in the fact that the Duel Academy stood beside it, the bright colors colliding with the otherwise gothic image of Hogwarts. Pokemon off in the distance snarled and launched their respective attacks at otherwise innocent looking Digimon. The Black Pearl, which looked otherwise out of place in the midst of the land, which was parked beside what appeared to be a pink Big Ben. Ancient, Chinese dragons slide through the air in a very beautiful way, while what appeared to be Big Daddies walking through the sea through tubes that belonged to the underwater utopia of Raptune snaked through the air and the ground, while Fire Benders fended off the horrendous, insectile Blue, and losing. Characters that were never meant to meet met, characters that were never meant to fight fought, and frankly, the sight was worse than an Anime convention.

Claire, Adrian, Tash and Miri watched with shocked faces, their mouths hanging open in shock.

"Woo…hoo…" cried Michael as he walked up beside his girlfriend, panting hard, grabbing his legs, wanting to catch his breath. "Made…it…" he looked up at his girlfriend and friends. "So…what did I miss?"

He looked at the direction they were looking.


"Okay." said Marcus as he looked around the chaotic location he had been teleported, along with the rest of his colleagues, "I don't know what happened, but we were all doing our own thing, and now we're in the middle of a massive fandom orgy."

"I say we all vote and blame Aster!" Drake shouted.

"Kyaa~… how did I do this?"

"For once, I don't think Aster did do this…" Willie mumbled under his breath.


"Okay everyone," Marcus called out. "we're gonna stick together as a group, and we're going to go try and find someone who knows what the hell happened."

"I'm still going for my blame on Aster."


"Ow! I was just kidding!"

The five of the Society members who KNEW what the hell was going on continued their onslaught on the Stu that began the chaotic fandom battle arena. Their attacks so far proved rather ineffective, which didn't help the fact that the battles from around them were hurting them as much as Alastor was.

"How can we fight like this?" Adrian shouted in frustration. "I mean, we have Master Chief fighting Samus Aran right to the side of us! We don't exactly have a frigging plasma shield around us!"

"Yeah, we're not THAT lucky." Claire grumbled as she crossed her blades in front of her as she blocked a blow from the Stu and spun around, attempting to slice him to ribbons. Of course, he danced out of the way and backhanded a blow from Samus, which fired at Michael. He jumped to the side….

And back down the hole.

"I give up." He whimpered from down the hole.

Claire and Miri both charged at the Stu, arm blades and staff in hand. Claire came in first with both her arms coming down, trying to chop Alastor in half while Miri came from behind with her staff. Alastor managed to duck to the side, sweeping his feet from under Claire's legs so she fell forward faster. Her blades dug into the ground, and she found herself stuck. Miri put her staff on her back and tried to help her sister out of the ground.

Alastor, grinning at his handiwork, grabbed at seemingly nothing, and forged a sword out of the air. He lifted it up, preparing to cut both girls in half…

"Librarian Secret Art…."

"Oh no."



This time, it actually made a connection with the back of Alastor head and sent him skipping across the battle field, and down the hole, ironically.

"Ha!" Michael shouted, all ready halfway up the hole at this point. "Doesn't feel good, does it?"

Alastor flew past him and back up the hole. Michael sweatdropped. "Not fair…"

Alastor landed at the mouth of the hole, and smirked. "Well, I can't take out four of the highest agents of the Society…"

A ball of energy sparked to life to his hand, and he smirked. "So I think I'll just take you all out one at a time, starting with the one in the hole here!"

"Wait, what!" Michael shouted from the hole.

"Michael!" Claire shouted.

"Don't you touch—" Miri said, reaching behind her back and finding her staff missing. "Hey, my staff! Where's my staff?"

She looked behind her in time to see what appeared to be a bipedal raccoon sneaking off with her staff.

"HEY!" she screamed. "Give it back or I MAKE you give it back."

The raccoon stiffened and turned around, intent on trying to use his charm, and found himself staring into the eyes of something that could hurt him and giggle about it. He gave her the staff back quickly, and Sly Cooper, though defeated, ran off to steal something else. He saw something really shining, an orange ball with four red stars in them…maybe the black haired guy with them wouldn't notice him.

"Right then, moving on…" Alastor said slowly. "Either you get away from me, or your little friend falls down that hole and doesn't get back up."

Claire, Adrian, Tash and Miri grit their teeth and held their ground. One wrong move and they'd lose Michael.

"Hmm…actually, now that I think about it." He said. "I do hate Michael with a passion that can kill a million suns…" he pondered. "Ah well, let's kill him anyway!"

"No!" Claire shouted.

As he was about to fire the blast, something occurred to him. Something was coming….

And it came in the form of Kyle, his Omni Weapon in the form of a sword, and Willie, his black bladed, gem studded sword came from both sides and attempted to slice him from both sides. Jumping into the air, and barely avoiding the blows, he looked up and gasped, seeing Drake in his Dragon Armor. He punched the Stu, making sure it was fully charged with his blue, lightning like energy.

Alastor flew through the air, screaming in agony as he skipped across the battle field and against a rock. Before he had a chance to recuperate, his arm sleeves were pinned to the rock by Terrie's throwing knives. He gasped and struggled to free himself.

"No! I won't be defeated like this!" He shouted. "I was in control! My plan was perfect!"

"No plan is perfect, especially for a Stu like you!" Adrian shouted, as he walked up to him. "Now surrender and come with us quietly!"

Alastor looked back in forth in horror. His eyes back and forth, his heart racing.

And suddenly, he remembered something. A sinister grin crossed his lips, and he bared his teeth. "No, I don't believe I will. Because why would I need to surrender, when I have your strength?"

"What are you—" Adrian asked, narrowing his eyes, but gasped as Alastor looked directly into his eyes. The Stu's eyes flashed with a chaotic rainbow color, and Adrian took a step back in horror. He dropped his sword, and gripped his head, screaming in agony, grasping handfuls of his hair.

"Adrian!" Tash shrieked, racing forward but Miri and Claire stopped her.

Suddenly, something odd happened to Adrian. His body fluxed and shifted, until he was a shimmering humanoid shape of energy, before morphing into a ball of the same energy. Alastor opened his mouth, and the energy flew into his mouth and down his throat.

The Society agents gawked in horror, their eyes wide as Alastor grunted and broke the binds that held him to the rock.

"Well…" he chuckled, dusting himself off. "That was fun… I feel stronger…."

A devious smirk crossed his face.

"Let's see if I can feel stronger…"

And he let out an unholy howl, one that caused the very air around him to flux and shift. Everyone in the vicinity (and the world itself, horrifyingly enough) let out their own shrieks, and held their heads. Slowly, they too turned into energy…

Michael crawled out of the hole, just in time to see the woman he loved and his two sisters turn into pure energy. "NO!" He screamed as they all turned into balls, and suddenly, thousands of thousands of the energy orbs towards Alastors open mouth, which he swallowed each one of them happily. Michael was forced to watch as Alastor absorbed everyone from every fandom he could think of, along with the Society… his family…

Upon swallowing the last person, Alastor began to pant, and gripped his head. Such power! Such might! He felt he could do anything!

And with this power, he COULD!

And suddenly, he exploded.

Michael coughed heavily as the dust rose into the air and blanketed the ones filled battle field, using his sleeve to fan the debris from his face so he wouldn't breath anything in. When the debris cleared, Michael saw what was at the same time stunningly beautiful and vomit inducing horrible.

Alastor had changed entirely, now grown to a staggering thirty feet tall. His skin seemed to be made of pure energy but at the same time as solid as a rock. His muscles were bulging, and somehow (thankfully) his clothing had retained his shape, but there were several differences. From his back sprouted five sets of wings from every known kind of wing, from bird, to insect, from devil, to angel, all flapping slowly. Slithering darkness, fire, earth, water, light, air was seemingly concentrated on circling him like a small planet. His face…dear lord, his face, it was so perfect that at the exact same time it was horrifying, and Michael felt nauseated just looking at it. His eyes were glowing and erupting with pure, concentrated energy, but at the same time Michael could see every color possible in it, and it was enough to make a lesser person faint from the sheer brilliance of it.

"Now then," Alastor spoke up finally, his voice a combination of man, woman, child, elder and anything else he could have absorbed. "I believe you and me have a score to settle… now don't we?"

Emily whimpered a little bit and opened her eyes. She didn't know what was going on, all she remembered was being pushed out of the way just as her big brother began to attack everyone. She curled up a little when she heard nothing but silence after the dust settled. She realized that she was in a massive shadow, but wondered what exactly could have made a shadow that big.

Looking up from behind the rock she was hiding behind, her eyes widened in horror. Whatever that giant thing was… whatever it may have been, it felt familiar…like…

"Brother?" She whispered. Her eyes scanned the battle field, finding no one around except for that weird boy who had the darkness inside of him, standing in front of her brother. She continued to cower behind the rock as Michael, who looked horrified as ever, watched the giant lift a foot up into the air…

Michael, finally snapping out of his stupor, leapt out of the way just as the foot thundered past him and made the biggest hole the agent had ever seen in his life. Alastor, roaring in anger, reached down to grab him. Michael quickly thought for a moment and grabbed his sword, plunging the blade into the giant Stu's hand. Luckily, it pierced him and blood spewed from it. Alastor couldn't feel the pain, but he did pull his hand back to get the sword out, lest it pester him any further.

"How dare you! How dare you take my friends? I'll kill you!" Michael promised, his Darkness spiking up behind him.

"Psh," Alastor stated calmly. "The day I lose to you is the day I lose my perfection. Trust me, for now until I decide to crush you into a fine powder, you're a little bit more than a test dummy. A test dummy that screams when I hit it."

He threw the blade at Michael's feet, and the giant began to think.

"Let's see…which of your friend's abilities will do the most traumatizing damage to your psyche…"

He snapped his fingers, which sounded like a giant boulder crashing to the ground.

Michael narrowed his eyes. He was ready. No matter what power he used, there's no way—

"Librarian Secret Art…"

….Oh holy crap no.



A kick to his head, which in Alastor's case could have killed anyone else, sent Michael through the air, several hundred miles through the air, and flew right back where he just was. The kick was that strong.

"Oooh…that was GOOD." He grinned.

Michael, on the other hand, wondered when the elephant on parade would allow him to concentrate on the giant, rumbling demon of a Stu above him. When he finally came to his senses, he looked up him, his entire world blurry and his color sense completely opposite of what it use to be. He felt his head to make sure he didn't snap his neck, or his head wasn't caved in. Thankfully, neither was the occasion.

His vision cleared as he saw Alastor's hands moving around in complicated patterns. His following his hands was a stream of water.

"Scatterbrained though Aster may be, her powers are rather interesting, and in the right hands…" He gestured, and the stream turned into a blade made entirely out of ice, as big as he was. "Can be quite…fatal."

Michael grimaced and looked around. If you have any bright ideas, I'd love to hear them…

You'd be dead without me, I hope you realize.

Yes, yes, and I'll show you my appreciation later, just HELP ME!


As the Sword came down, Dark tentacles flew from his back and grabbed at the blade in the middle. Stopping only inches away from Michael's face, Darkness snapped the blade in the middle and, spinning it around to face Alastor, threw the otherwise frozen tip at it the giant uber-Stu.

Alastor tilted his upper body back to avoid the entire blade itself, and threw the now useless blade off to the side. He lifted a hand into the air, a ball of energy growing steadily in his grasp. Michael looked around swiftly, knowing that if he would continue his attack, he would sure become a smear on the ground. Then, he realized he was in Alastor's shadow.

Closing his eyes and gritting his teeth, he sank into the giant's shadow, just as beam struck down near to the Earth's core. Alastor frowned heavily and looked around. "Where the hell did you go…" he rumbled.

Michael popped up into another shadow, this one coming from a large boulder. Panting heavily, he grasping his chest and peeked around to see Alastor, with his back facing Michael. "Phew…that was close."

"I'll say…"

"GAH!" he cried, looking to the side to see, indeed, Emily. He blinked slowly. "Emily?" He asked in shock. "Emily! You're okay! You didn't get absorbed! Oh thank god!" he pulled her into a tight hug. "Wait, you're okay? How did you… god, that's not important right now! We need to get you out of here!"

"No, wait! I can help!" She whispered so her elder brother wouldn't hear the two of them. "I can help you at least distract him for a little while!"

"Emily, this is no time for games!" he whispered. "I don't even know how I'm gonna beat him, he's got the power of everyone out there! The whole Society, every fandom… Emily… I don't think we can win this one…"

Emily narrowed her eyes and pulled her hand away. "I'm tired of everyone treating me like a little kid, and talking behind my back or down to me just because I use to be a Sue! Despite what you and anyone else might think, I'm a member of this Society as much as you are, so I think some respect should be given all ready!"

Michael blinked a little bit, surprised by the outburst. He had to give her the benefit of the doubt, everyone deserved a chance, even a reformed Sue…he nodded. "Right, okay, fine, what's your idea?"

"Shoot this at him," Emily handed him a rather odd weapon, a strange, golden gun with a single, purple dot on the side, swollen to the size of a baseball near the butt of the gun, and narrowed like a mosquito mouth near the head.

Michael stared at the small contraption in question, tilting his head in curiosity. "What… is it?"

"New thing I designed," Emily stated as she wiped the dust from her shirt. "It's called a BLAM."

"A… Blam?" Michael asked.

"No, a BLAM, A Big Lipped Alligator Moment. A Big Lipped Alligator Moment is a point in a movie or a television show when something total freaking NUTS happens for no reason. It got it's name from the movie, All Dogs Go to Heaven, when for no reason, near the climax of the movie, the alligator about to eat the protagonist bursts into song. It's short, random, and no one discusses it ever again." She stood up to watch the smoke clear. "in other words, it puts the offending Sue into a small, forcefield like area they aren't allowed to break or leave until the BLAM they're in is over with. And it puts them in a random one, too."

"Eh…" he nodded and slipped it into the back of his pants, making sure he didn't put too much pressure on the thing, lest it go off in his back pocket. "Right, I'll use it when I really need to…"

Emily grinned and peeked over the rock, looking at her still confused brother. "So what's the plan now?" Emily asked, excitedly.

Two pairs of black arms grabbed Emily. The two Darklings, the gunner and the sledgehammer wielder lifted her off her feet, both grinned a little bit. The lightkiller Darkling was there… for… some reason.

"What we do now is get a safe distance between us."

"What?" Emily asked in shock. "But…I want to stay and help!"

"And here's why that's a bad idea." He said slowly. "He's giant, he's after you, I'm bigger than you, and I control a small legion of demons. You guys, get her out of here, keep her quiet, and protect her by all means necessary."

"Right boss!" The Sledgehammer wielder said with a nod, grinning. "Come on!" he scampered off with his brethren, holding the struggling Emily.

And so, Michael looked up at the giant, thundering stu…

And ran.

Ahhh, just what I expected of your kind. Your friends are in mortal danger, and you're the final hope they have…And you RUN. Truly, you are a role model of your kind.

"Shut up," Michael grunted. "I'm putting some distance between us so I can think of what to do. That's all."

Hm, your pounding heart beat says it all human. Your forehead is sweating, and the prominent feelings in your mind is fear…face it human, you'd have a better time just allowing him to have his way with you…

"Ignoring all the horrible sounding yaoi potential you just gave everyone…" He grumbled, barely feeling the earth shudder under his feet. "Of course I'm scared! I'm all alone and you're the farthest thing from a pep talk right now."

Hmph, well then, don't come to me when he decides to use you as a pin cushion for his own amusement… The Darkness mumbled a little bit. Then, all was silent.

He scowled and panted hard. He had a good head start. He needed to think of what he can do. What can I do? He asked himself. He's huge and has every power ever imaginable… and… well… I don't think he'd be one to kill me just yet… so…

His eyes widened.

I just need to let him do whatever he wants to me! I can trick him during then! Ew, more bad thoughts.
Now, all he needed to do is wait—


Oh there was no way this can end well.

He grit his teeth as the massive hand belonging to his oldest enemy scooped him up, and lifted him horribly high into the air. He was then thrust into the depths of the horrible chaotic looking multicolored orbs that were Alastor's eyes.

"Found ya."

"Yeah, shame your breath has too," Michael gagged, his complexion green. "Breath mints. You need them."

Alastors eyes flared every shade of red known to man and then some, which DID make Michael gag and come notoriously close to vomiting. He regained his composure, and he grinned. His eyes turned a calming tint of blue that sent Michael over the edge this time.

"Heh… this is quite perfect really," Alastor grinned. "I get to torture you and drive you totally bananas, but I get your girlfriend and your sisters to watch! I gotta say, being around all these very very fine girls is extremely…" he shuddered and Michael assumed his eyes rolled into the back of his head. "Exciting…"

"…Holy CRAP," Michael said in shock. "You just jumped the frigging field to really strong to really frigging creepy."

"Heh…" Alastor chuckled. "You can try to act brave, but I will break you…in every sense of the word…when I get done with you, I'm gonna shatter your mind and paste it back together just so I can make it shatter again. I'm gonna fill your head with such horrifying visuals, I'm gonna make you into a twitching, whimpering little puddle of a mind. I'm gonna make you go through a million deaths and put you back together just so I can do it all over again. I'm gonna break every bone in your body, I'm going to kill you in the most graphic ways, but I'm gonna keep your brain around as long as I want it to be, so you can't die and make it so you can stop all the pain I'm going to inflict upon you…"

Michael didn't respond. He jumped a little, realizing he was being spoken to. "Hm? Oh, I'm sorry, I was looking into your planet sized mood rings and wonder how it worked…

And Alastor lost what little mind he had

With a scream of unbridled rage, he threw the agent to the ground, who skipped with a rather frightening crack of each thud of the ground. He gestured with a massive hand, and he floated into the air.

"I am the equal of a god, I can make you what I want, how I want, and…I can laugh about it."

The next four minutes were the worst of Michael's life.

His body changed structure each new second.

He was rock he was ice he was water he was dark he was light he was earth he was air he was metal he was slime he was wood he was plastic he was diamond he was cloth. His mind shattered and came back together then splintered and came back together. He saw fire and he saw darkness he saw the darkest pits of hell and he saw the golden gates of heaven he saw humans screaming as their skin melted he saw bombs erupting he saw the most horrifying demons ever to be considered cackling as they devoured people whole he saw man sized spiders he saw his friends his family burning in a pit and wondering why he didn't help them god please stop it he tried to help please don't let them die please don't let them die—

His soul was getting ripped out of his body and ripped apart by the shadows themselves the soulless eyes of the damned would stare at him forever destruction darkness a pair of red blood eyes staring at him at his soul his soul a mere plaything for the dark things of the underworld a dark hand from the shadows itself grabbing his head and crushing it within his girth the horrible whispers and shrieks and cackles of the horrible demons of the world as they watched him suffer horrible experiments the darkness grew a mind of his own and grew bored of him killing everyone the blood oh god the blood make it stop for the love of god make it stop it hurts so bad-

Oh god I'm sorry everyone I'm so sorry I thought I could help don't hurt them don't hurt them please for the love of god spare them they don't deserve anything please stop Claire Tash Miri Adrian Aster Valerie Willie Marcus Kyle oh god I'm sorry the voices the horrible shrieking damned voices of the dead whispering to me they won't stop why won't they stop oh god the voices my flesh is burning everything hurts please stop it I can't take it oh god everything hurts it hurt it hurts it HURTS SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE HELP ME—


Alastor frowned heavily and gestured. Michaels heart and brain zapped back on, and with a gasping breath, his eyes wide as he looked into the rainbow colors.

"I'm far from done with you, boy…" He grinned. "I all ready have our next sequence!"

And so he raised his hand, and flexed. From the wrist, trailing up to his shoulders. To anyone else it would have such an effect, but on Michael, it did because it was his own girlfriend's weapons she used.

"I can't believe how you forgot about us and left us behind!" Alastor screamed. Michael paled.

It was Claire's voice. So that added a whole new level of mind fuck.

Michael screamed (Or tried, it game out more of a gargled grunt as blood spewed out) as the blade sliced across his stomach and dug a deep gouge into his flesh. "You left your own friends and family behind for your own selfish gain! How can you not help us?" Another slice, another gurgle, his blood churned from his mouth. "How could I ever love a coward like yourself…?"

Another slice, across the neck. Gurgling for air, blackness began to seep into the corner of his eyes…

And he was healed, and fixed entirely. Alastor was now holding a staff that belonged to his big sister.

"You would honestly abandon us for yourself," The demon said in Tash's voice. "You sicken me you disgusting little weak BASTARD!"

Thankfully, no magic came around this time, but just the feel of the staff bashing into the side of his head was enough to make him cry out.

"You don't deserve a place in the Society! You don't deserve ANYTHING! You're a weak, little, insignificant waste of SKIN!"

Another whap. He felt his skin crack a little. He could actually feel his brain swelling. How he hadn't gotten beheaded at this point was amazing.

"The only thing you deserve is a slow and painful DEATH!"

And suddenly, Alastor was a good ways behind Michael. He felt the distinct feel of getting struck at least six times, but he couldn't…

Wait, six? Oh no.

The outline of a burning, six pointed star surrounded him.

Michael barely had time to scream before the star collapsed and erupted around Michael is an impressive super nova. Michael screamed as his flesh burned and his clothes were evaporated.

He was fixed a second later.

From behind another staff clashed into the back of his head. The sight in his right eye went out, leaving half his vision in pitch darkness. The staff was back, but changed to his sister Miri's.

"You left us." No emotion in his younger sister's voice. "We needed your help and where were you?" Another slap to the knee. His knee broke on contact, and he screamed. Was his bone sticking from his leg? "You promised you wouldn't let anything happen to us. Why are you making us suffer, Aniki? What did we ever do except love you?"

Another slap to the head. His vision went. He was blind.

He was fixed a second later.

A sword pierced his stomach with a loud, echoing shriek from the Society's Stu hunter. Adrian's Hoshikuzu was sticking from his stomach. Michael felt numb. He felt nothing.

"I trusted you." Adrian's voice said quietly. "We were brothers in arms, and I expected you to fight to the end for us. We obviously don't matter enough to you."

The sword ripped from his side, and Michael's vision went dim. Was this happening? Blood was seeping from the massive cut in his stomach. Odd. He should be split in half.

"No wonder no one likes you, you scum," Adrian's voice sneered. "You deserve every little bit of this agony."
He was fine a second later.

He rose to his feet, but didn't know why he bothered. A thick thunk was heard, like a knife hitting wood. He lurched forward a little bit. There was a knife in his back. He looked back at it with dull, lifeless eyes. Odd.


An arrow accompanied the blade, and Michael fell to his knees. Alastor had a bow and arrow out.

"You always were an annoying little worm," Valerie's voice sounded out, "You haven't a clue how good this feels…"

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

Arrow. Arrow. Blade. Blade. Arrow. Blade.

He was fine a second later.

Kyle's voice and Omniweapon cut into him. Willies voice and his sword wounded him. Asters voice and her magic made him cringe.

Michael lost his mind after everyone of his friends, his siblings, his FAMILY cut into him with their words. How they hated him. Disappointed in him. Wanted him dead.

And for the first time in ever, Michael felt alone.

And finally, he did the one thing he never did in his life.

He cried, sobbed, and begged for mercy, for the sweet, sweet, sweet release of death.

"Please!" he cried in agony as his body screamed in horrifying melodious agony. "Please, god, make it stop! I'll do anything! I just can't take the pain!"

Tears screamed down his all ready bloody face. He whimpered as Alastor picked him up.

"Please, god, just kill me! I can't take anymore! I don't wanna live like this!"

He hiccupped as Alastor peered closely at the writhing, broken human that caused him so much pain.

"Please… if… if you have any kind of soul or… or moral fiber… please… just… kill me…"


And Michael screamed as Alastor crushed him in his hand.

"I'm going to do the final straw I'm sure will destroy you." He grinned darkly at him. "I'm gonna put you in my own little collection…and I'm gonna make you watch your friends scream in agony as I drain the life out of them SLOWLY…"

And Michael's body froze, and he turned into a beam of energy that Alastor swallowed.

Triumphant laughter echoed through the wastelands. Alastor tilted his head back.

He won.

The world was now his.

Or it would have been, had the Darkness, silent for the entire torture sequence, had enough of this remarkable amount of bullshit. As Michael was being dragged through the darkness that belonged to the inner workings of Alastor, small, white angelic beings with white, burning eyes, the Darkness howled and erupted around him. The small, Seraphim creatures shrieked as the burning darkness evaporated them into simple streaks of light. Michael landed with a thud, his body shrieking in agony, and tears pouring down his face.

"Make it stop… let them go… don't hurt them… I'm… so… sorry…"

Ugh, he's gone insane, bloody wonderful. The darkness sighed in his mind. Just keep an eye on him, this own't take but a second…

The snakes looked about the area, making sure nothing would sneak attack their master anytime soon. Suddenly, Michael gasped and looked about, sweat glistening on his forehead, looking around.

"Where…where am I?" he asked, only to be answered by his own echo.

It would seem as though your good friend Alastor decided to absorb you. Of course, we can't have that now can we?

"You… saved me?"

Don't get used to it, human, you're mine and mine alone to torture and break, I'm not going to give someone else the satisfaction of making you scream…

"Thanks… I think," He said, blinking slowly. "So… I think our best bet to where the others are would probably be in the head…"

And so he began to walk, looking around the odd looking insides of the Stu. Normally, he would have expected possibly something black, swirling, something horrible… but Alastor's insides…

"It feels like I'm walking through the Church of Notre Dame..."

Indeed, the entire area was clean cut, and for some reason there was a glowing light surrounding the two of them (The darkness did NOT approve.). Had they paid attention, Michael was sure he would hear some form of heavenly choir.

He rubbed his arms comfortingly. "This is really creepy, to be inside a person and yet inside the equivalent of a church…"

It burns, that's all I'm saying. Darkness seethed in his head.

"Well, we can't be far…we should be there soon."


"Why is there a door in the middle of a Stu's stomach?"

You're honestly asking after all that's happened? You're in the middle of a stu, whose insides look like the Vatican church, and the most you can ask is why there is a DOOR in front of you?

"Oh shut up, you know what I mean," he grumbled, grabbed the handle and walked in. His eyes widened. THIS place looked more along the lines of what the brain/cranium area should look like.

Except for, you know, the massive expanse of people being strung up by red, muscle like protrusions, a green energy seeping from them all and going into a large, tumor-like growth in the middle, which all the energy was going to.

And so, Michael and Darkness were staring at the literal hundreds of thousands of people that Alastor had absorbed, siphoning their energy in a slow and quite possibly painful manner.

"This is gonna take a while."

Alastor looked around the now barren landscape, a hand stroking at his seemingly marble smooth skin. He tilted his head in curiosity. Now then, he was kinda curious as to what to do now. Should he look for Emily and show her what happens when she betrays her big brother…

The second, should he create new life so he can just rule over it and crush it?

Yeah, that one sounds like it would be fun.

He began to do the one thing one lone sue should never be able to do: Make life. He began to sift his arms around, his eyes flashing with all the hideous colors…

When he screamed and grabbed his head. He dropped to his knees, gripping his head in pain. His eye was twitching, and another hard shot of agony went through his cranium.

"What… the… hell?" He screamed. This was one of the worst pains he had in… well, since he absorbed anyone. He tried using the powers he siphoned from Valerie to heal the horrible pain… but felt he couldn't. He couldn't access the power!

"What…?" He asked, blinking slowly. He concentrated, and using his amazing powers of… something, he could view inside of his head. Please. Just go with it.

He saw the image of Michael cutting down the people he had absorbed from his mind. His eyes flared in anger, and he roared to the heavens.

He knew what he needed to do.

Closing his eyes, he curled up in a meditative state.

He began to concentrate…

Valerie groaned a little bit and grasped at her head. "Oh… my head…" She whispered softly, shaking her head a little bit. "Michael…?" She looked up at the black clad Gary Stu hunter. "What… happened? Where are we?"

"Long story, we need to get you out of here." Michael said, pointing to a black portal he had created. "Here, go through there, that'll get you out of here. I'll be with you in a little bit."

"But… I want to help," she said, standing up a little bit straighter. She winced and grabbed her head.

"No," Michael said. "All that crap you lot just went through drained a lot out of you. I'd love to have you stick around and help me, I really would, but if Alastor finds out I'm in here…"

"Oh, I do, mate, I really do."

"Oh crap."

Both of them spun around to see Alastor, though he kept his appearance from the outside, he was now about the same size as Michael was. He had a look of silent rage in his eyes.

"Valerie…" Michael said slowly. "Get out of here… I'm gonna be sending a lot of people out after you… that are gonna need healing."

"But…" she began.

"I said go!" He pushed her towards the portal, as Alastor, with a chuckle, watched.

"Awww….trying to help your little friends?' he cooed in a baby voice. "That's so cute…"

"Yeah? Well guess what, I've all ready cut free more than half the people in here!" Michael said. "You should be feeling powerless at this point!"

"Actually, I've taken so much energy at this point, I have my own little secret vault of goodies should I need the extra boost."

"Yeah, of course you have!"

Michael grabbed his sword and prepared to charge down Alastor, should he need to…

Alastor, however, chuckled. "Ya know, I could whale on you a little bit, but I think a much better metaphor would be if I used your own family to whale on you… again."

And in a flash, he was surrounded by four colorless, emotionless looking copies of Claire, Tash, Miri and Adrian. Their eyes were emotionless and soulless, and completely gray.

"God dammit I hate you."

"Yeah, I know, but that's why I'm so lovable, no?"

And the four copies charged.

"Why's he just sitting there?"

"Looks like he's meditating…"

"That's kinda… weird."

"Wonder where Michael is?"

"Dunno. Probably got killed."

"Then why isn't he looking for us? Why is he just meditating?"

"Well he's probably just trying to go even more insane…"

"Would it be suicide if we tried to attack?"

"Dunno, why not go check yourself?"

Emily glared at the Darkling in question. She hit him in the back of the head, making him squeak and rub his head.

"It was just a suggestion…"

There was a brief silence.

"Hey, where'd the other two go?" Emily asked suddenly, looking around at that point.

"Who, my brothers?" The Darkling asked. "Yeah… ya know, that's a good question. Last I saw them, they were playing tic-tac-toe…"

"…You guys are so weird."

"Good thing we're just comic relief in this little world…"

Another sword slice to the gut, another arm blade slice to the face, another fire-eruption around him and another staff to the back of the head later, Michael was currently embedded in the squishy, wet wall that was Alastor's mind. "Oh, this is disgusting."

This just isn't your day, is it?

"You really have nothing better to say in this situation, do you?"

Not really.

"Cute little puppets, aren't they?" Alastor asked, walking over and wrapping an arm around the statue like Claire, who made no attempt to move or push away from him. "I gotta say, these came out really well! They follow orders well, they're as strong, or even stronger, than the counterparts, and I gotta say…" A leering eye went over to Adrian. "I even managed to catch out attractive they all are."

Despite being a robot, the Adrian clone sweatdropped and took a step away from him. It was THAT creepy.

"He's right," Michael mumbled. "I can't seem to catch a break here. Oh, if there's a miracle somewhere, anywhere, I'd love it."

"Hiya boss!"

Blinking, he looked to the side to see the Gunner Darkling, and the Sledgehammer wielding darkling.

"Eh…" his voice went down to a whisper. "What are you guys doing here? You were suppose to be guarding Emily!"

"We were!" The gunner darkling shouted. "But this idiot of a soldier over here went against his ranking officer! He actually had the gall to insult me the way he did!"

"We were playing tic-tac-toe, and I got the middle square before he wanted it."

"It's the principle of the matter!"

"Okay, okay, this is good, this is actually good." Michael said. "I need you guys to go about and cut down everyone you can get down and get them through that portal."

"Can do boss!" Both saluted, and scampered off.

"This is a bad idea, I just know it."

And so the battle continued.

Michael and flew backwards further into the wall as Claire slammed a foot into his stomach, causing him to bounce off. Landing with a dull thud, he rolled out of the way as Adrian would have jammed his blade into Michael's head. He hopped up, and grabbed his own sword and parried the blow from Adrian. With a low grunt, he threw him off and back handed the clown with the flat side of the sword. Finally, he lifted a foot and kicked him away, crying out as Miri slammed her staff into her older brothers back and brought him to his knees.

Claire and Tash both lifted their own weapons of choice and went for the head, intent on making it cave in or cutting it open. Luckily, the Darkness still wasn't pulling any bull crap, and shot out two tentacles, which wrapped around their ankles and flipped them into the air and away from him. He stood up quickly, the blow to his back still throbbing. He managed to dodge the next blow to his back from Miri by jumping ahead, but unfortunately, Adrian did manage to smack his legs from under him with the flat side of his sword. Falling to his stomach, the Darkness picked up the fight by grabbing Adrian by the throat with a tentacle, and slamming him into the approaching Tash.

He didn't let go, and continued to squeeze and slam him into the ground. Finally, bored with the little emotionless puppet, he threw him off into the distance against Alastor, who howled and threw him off.

The over the course of the time, the Darklings managed to fulfill their promise to their boss, and began to cut down the others down, thankfully with a blade that the gunner darkling carried around with him for just such an occasion. For cutting down/cutting up bodies… sure, let's go with that.

Each time the bodies were cut down and removed, Alastor would scream, and the entire room would twitch and flash like a bad electronic glitch. Finally, as the final blow between the four of them would be done, Claire vanished in a twitch. The statues, their eyes wide, white and soulless, looking at the spot their partner was just at in astonishment, and confusion.

Alastor blinked. "What?" he asked in surprise, looking over to see the Darklings letting down the unconscious brit. His eyes widened, and he went to go stop them…

When Michael leapt into the air and aimed a kick at the Stu's head. "Back off the psycho demons, mate." He grinned.

"So what? I still have more than enough fire power to get rid of you once and for all!"

Adrian vanished in a blip.

"Still more than enough!"

Tash vanished.


Finally, Miri.


Michael grinned a little bit and cracked his knuckles a little.

"I've been waiting for this…"

"Is he shrinking?" Emily asked in surprise.

"Looks like it. Think he needs pills for that?" The Darkling asked innocently.

"…" Emily shot him a disgusted look.

"Oh it's a joke, relax…"

"Where are we?" Tash asked as she exited the portal, very, very dizzy right now. She needed to lean against the Darkling's sledgehammer to keep herself stable. "Are… we back at the library?"

"Looks like it," Miri said softly, looking around in concern. Everyone from the Society was back there, either unconscious or looking very dizzy and disorientated.

"Is everyone here?" Tash asked finally, looking around for Adrian. "Where's Adrian?"

"Right here," Adrian said, his eyelids opening up and down slowly to keep himself stable. It felt as though he had been drained of nearly all his energy. He almost felt over when Tash rushed over and clung to him.

Claire clutched her shirt, looking around. "Where's Michael?" She asked softly in worried horror.

"Aniki?" Miri shouted out into the groaning mess of society members. No answer from the member that was missing. "…Michael?"

"…Oh no." Claire whispered in worry.

Alastor screamed as Michael swung his sword into his stomach and cut into him deeply, making the stu throw him back with a small blast of energy, enough to make Michael fall over himself in a fashion similar to a backwards somersault. He held his hand over the cut, and healed it with a quick spell. With a grin, now fixed, he approached Michael, a ball of energy forming in his hand and a triumphant grin on his face, he prepared to fire it at him…

Darkness again jumped in again. He pushed his tentacles on the ground, forcing the currently limp form of his master into the air and avoiding the blast all together, instead burning a massive portion of the ground.

Alastor screamed again and gripped at his head, which Michael noticed as he lifted himself up to watch in confusion. He then realized where he was, and stabbed his sword into the fleshy ground, and he screamed louder, his eyes widening to the little mood ring like horror. He grabbed his head tightly in agony, as if he were having the worst headache. He fell to his knees, screaming bloody murder.

Michael panted a little and grabbed his sword, and started plunging it further and further into the soft mush of his opponents brain. More screams, and this time he struck blood. Finally, figuring he had done enough damage to make him think he could take care of him, he walked over to his opponent, his sword held high into the air, intent on cutting his head off.

Suddenly, Alastor's fist struck forward and caught him in the stomach. Michael gasped and gasped out in pain, kneeling down to grab his stomach. Alastor rose up and approached the staggering Michael.

"You can't win, human!" Alastor shouted as he grabbed Michael's face with his hand and lifted him a good foot off the ground. "I'm better than you in every sense! I'm faster, stronger, and just all around better than you! You can't hope to be me!"

"Get… off… me!" Michael shouted, his voice muffled by the glowing fist that belonged to the uber-Stu. Just barely grasping his sword, he managed one good swipe of his blade at his face.

Alastor screamed as the blade cut into his skin, and he took a step back, grasping onto his face in pain. No blood fell, no more screams after that one scream, and slowly his hand fell from his face.

Much to Michael's horror, the skin had begun to peel off his face. Rather than seeing a row of muscles and blood seeping from the blow, but… more skin.

The skin fell with a dull plop on the ground, and Michael's eyes widened.

Under Alastor's face…

Was Michael's face.

As he was dropped from the strong grip of his look-a-like, Michael scampered away in shock. His eyes were wide from behind his glasses, and he couldn't take his eyes off the perfect resemblance of him, the only differences were he wore no glasses, his skin was a little smoother and his hair was a little bit longer.

"Was hoping to keep this a secret a little bit longer," Alastor said with Michael's mouth, noticing the look of confusion on his opponents face. "But I suppose some things can't be held that much of a secret, even if they last more than a thirty page story, hm?"

"But… what?" Michael asked, very confused. "What the HELL is going on? How are you… ya know, me?"

"Oh, mate," The copy said with a small grin, "You think I'd go after you of all people in the society without any form of rhyme or reason? Oh mate, you've got a lot to learn…" He cackled and clapped his hands together, approaching his victim. "Perhaps you remember your story-your first story? When you had ME?"

"…I think so…"

Alastor smirked. "Wow. You really DID forget didn't you? Not surprising, based on how much has passed since that time, I'm not surprised you don't remember me. Ah yes, back when you were young and naïve, and not having a care in world, let alone how perfect you made your title character. And so, in the story, I was born. And I was what you hoped you would come out.

"And so the years passed, and my fic started getting little to no attention. You began to neglect my story in favor of other stories. I began to whittle away to almost nothingness. And then the ultimate clincher!


"You had the GALL to replace me! I was perfect and you replaced with someone flawed! Someone who had faults! Someone who wasn't me! And while some people got the comfort of the Vault of Abandoned Ideas, you had me abandoned in the pits of your story and I nearly starved and died!

"And then… I saw a white light… an escape!"

He grinned.

"And so I did… and I got my strength back… but I knew I couldn't come right at you… oh no… see, I found this handsome beast and took care of him… used my magic to make my face into his… there was never an Alastor… just me… and so…"

He grabbed a blade made of energy and smirked.

"I'm gonna make your life… the hell I went through…"

"Guys, we have some bad news," Marcus said from the computer as he typed something in. "When we got absorbed by Alastor, a good little portion of our energy got sucked out too, as did everyone else's whom he absorbed."

"So he's got some extra energy," Miri said slowly, "Aniki can still beat him…"

"Not exactly," Marcus said calmly, "He's absorbed enough energy to make a chaotic kind of bomb. All the conflicting energies and all the yin yang energy is nothing more than a massive, nuclear weapon." He said. "If Michael somehow disrupts this, Alastor, and the fandoms themselves, can, and will be destroyed."

Dead silence.

But of course, Michael obviously knew this, didn't he? Sword clashed with energy sword, nearly breaking Michael's sword into two with the sheer force of it. Alastor was still a far deal stronger than from all the backed up energy he took from everyone else, but by no means was Michael a push over. His brain began to wrack, thinking of what he could possibly do to weaken him, somehow, ANYWAY!

His eyes scanned over the area as he pushed Alastor away from him, holding his Blade up to keep Alastor from piercing him like a rotten tomato.

His eyes found the pulsating emerald green tumor like protrusion, and he thought if he got rid of THAT…

With a hard, grunting shove, he forced him away from him with a good shove, pushing him away with his tentacles for extra measures. Slinging his sword forward, he rushed towards the growth.

Alastor's brown eyes opened wide, and he lifted a hand up in horror. "NO!"

And so, with a cry, Michael plunged the sword into the growth.

There was a dead, dead, dead silence as the dull, throbbing sensation began to dwindle…

And suddenly the entire room the two of them were in was shaking and rumbling. The image that Michael had been fighting vanished after he grabbed his head and gave a shaky, flinching sounding scream. He evaporated a moment later.

Now, it was common sense that a room that happened to be shaking and rumbling was a bad place to be. So, conjuring another portal (And draining even MORE of his energy), he leapt through.

Tumbling out of the portal with a dull thud, Michael groaned and sat on his knees, holding his head, having accidently hit it on a rock, feeling a bump rising slowly. He turned his attention to his opponent, who was holding his head and grumbling and moaning in pain. He was taking steps back in pain, still giant and thundering but with a much but his powerful aura had diminished quite a bit.

And suddenly, the groaning and moaning stopped. And Alastor grinned. It was especially creepy for Michael, since Alastor took the form of his true form, that of Michael's face. And so essentially, he saw himself give that extremely devious grin that showed he knew something Michael didn't know.

"And so it begins," Alastor said, his voice completely devoid of any emotion. "And so it begins. Because of what you did," he laughed softly. "The energies in me just needed that one little spark. That one bit to finally set it off…"

"What are you…ow…talking about?" Michael asked, holding the throbbing bump on his forehead.

"Think of me as a million sticks of dynamite and you as the fuse. All those energies were nice and contained. But then you came in and messed all that up." He stood up and held his hands out. "I'm now the literal definition of a living nuclear bomb. In a few minutes, I'll go up with a blast big enough to not only take out the little world I made for myself, but you, and my punk little sister." He grinned. "Now won't that be fun. I'll die, but the revenge I'm looking for is finally within range…"

Michael looked up in shock. He realized he was serious, the conflicting energies he could feel inside of his head, but now on the outside, now actually churning felt like something along the lines of pure electricity around the two.

"I need to find Emily. I need to get her out of here," he said.

That's not going to work all that well Darkness told him in his head. There's no way we're going to be able to not only find Emily, lord knows where SHE may be, but make up enough energy to create a portal. Not only that, but you cannot risk him destroying the fandom's themselves, which, despite the fact it's a wonderful idea, would have a very negative effect on the universe.

"Then… what should I do?" Michael asked. "We wouldn't have a chance, and we can't risk him blowing up!"

You just need to take him out. I suppose.

"How?" he asked. "He's too big, and one wrong blast will set him off prematurely!"

Hmmm… perhaps… you can do what I'm thinking of?

"How?" Michael hissed. "I don't even have enough energy to make a portal to get out of here! There's no way I'll get enough energy to get before he blows!"

Then think of something dammit! I can't anymore! Find a way to distract him or something!

"Distract…?" he blinked and reached behind him. Feeling what he hoped to find, he grinned and pulled it out. He pulled out the BLAM, and let out a breath of release.

Michael lifted up the gun and pulled the trigger. A thin beam of purple light shot off with a rather unimpressive ZZIP! noise, and hit Alastor dead in the forehead. A resounding explosion not only blew Michael and Emily away, but managed to make the giant, uber-Stu stagger.

Michael coughed as he too was blown away, looking around and finding himself thankful that Alastor hadn't gone off at that rather violent eruption. He felt his body for a little bit, making sure there was nothing missing from his anatomy. He looked down at his hand, and saw his body, essentially, had become a white outline.
And suddenly Emily's voice filled his head.

"In other words, it puts the offending Sue into a small, force field like area they aren't allowed to break or leave until the BLAM they're in is over with. And it puts them in a random one, too."

"White outlines and completely black colo… oh no." he grinned. "Okay, good, good, this should keep him busy for now…I need to make every second count…"

Alastor frowned and waved the smoke from his body. "You little bastards! I'm not done with you, Michael, I'm gonna completely destroy—"

The sound of trumpets filled the area as he looked at his new dark surroundings. He had no build, he was a white outline. As if his color design had been horribly switched. Bells, gongs, cowbells, and other loud, obnoxious instruments came from seemingly no where. And then, he was surrounded by windows and stairs.

Look out. Look out.

"….What the hell?"

Pink Elephants on parade, here they come, hippity hoppity!

They're here! They're there! Pink Elephants everywhere!

And slowly, like a horrifying marching band, pink, ghastly looking light elephants began to slink through the windows and up and down the stairs for no rhyme or reason.

Alastor took a step back in surprise, wondering WHY he hadn't gone off. He attempted to force himself off but… it felt as though he couldn't. Which was odd…well, regardless, he was sure this wasn't going to last long, and all he had to do was wait…

Concentrate boy, concentrate, the Darkness beckoned, you're never going to get another chance like this…

"Yeah, I know," Michael said with a strained voice, "Your little pep talk isn't helping much… ya know…"

Humph. Last time I try to help…

"Yeah, that might be the best idea…"

The horrifying multicolored elephant made of menacingly grinning elephant heads grinned as he approached the massive Stu, grinning a horrible, horrible, menacing grin.

"I gotta say… this is horrifyingly traumatizing." Alastor said, blinking as the scene unfolded before his eyes.

Michael stood there concentrating; sweat beading on his forehead, his breathing slow. Alastor watched the scene unfold with a bored expression after a while. He was sure to make sure these elephants die horribly when he made sure he did go up. Finally, the force field and the scene went down.

"And now…" He grinned, looking down at Michael, "We're gonna… eh… what are you doing?"

Michael didn't answer, his breathing slow and steady.

"I said… what…" Alastor narrowed his eyes, and blinked when he felt a slight tug from behind him…

Alastor turned, and was faced by a massive black hole.

His eyes widened in horror as he felt himself slowly being pulled into the giant death hole, and he turned his attention to Michael, his eyes flaring with anger.

"You bastard!" He screamed and tried to reach for him. He didn't get far, however, as a rather strong pull of the giant cosmic entity summoned by the forces of darkness pulled him down to his stomach. That didn't stop him from being pulled into the hole, Michael at his finger tips and could never reach him, almost as ironic as fate had hit him with. "You don't deserve this! You don't deserve any of this!" he shouted. His life flashed in his rainbow eyes. "I'll get you!"

His feet were slowly being sucked out. Even if he didn't want to set himself off, it'd require his concentration, and he needed that to avoid being pulled into the black hole.

"It's not fair!" He screamed, tears streaming down his cheeks. "It's not fair! I won't be denied… my… revenge!"

He attempted one last good lunge… and missed, ultimately. He was being sucked further and further into the black hole. The oxygen being forced from his lungs, his skin quite possibly being ripped from his body.


Alastor slowly vanished into the black hole, his screams of agony vanishing from the ears as the black hole closed behind him.

Alastor was gone.

Michael, finally feeling the horrible feeling of the giant Stu vanish, fell to his knees and panted hard, grabbing his chest. "Phew… gotta say… that… wasn't… that bad."

Ugh. The Darkness groaned. Understatement of the century.

"That's weird," Marcus said after a moment, "The energy just…." He checked the readings again, "vanished."

"Vanished?" Willie asked. "As in… it went off?"

"No," Tyler said, peeking over Marcus' Shoulder, "There's still a few readings of life on the whole of the fandom…"

"So… someone beat him?"

"Looks like it."

Miri, Tash and Claire grinned at each other, knowing who could have done that.

"Okay… so… you're fine?" Michael asked Emily after he found her, behind a rock, YARDS FROM ALASTOR. He managed to hit the Lightkiller Darkling over the head and yelled at him, reminding him he needed to get her FAR AWAY, not within spitting distance!

"Well what?" The Darkness whimpered innocently, "I got lazy after a while…"

Michael's eye twitched as he lifted his fist up to punch him again, but he took a shuddering breath. "Well… whatever… I… don't care." He sighed. "As long as Emily's safe…"

He looked over at Emily who was staring at where her older… brother was. She looked… lost.

"Hey…you okay?" Michael asked, walking over to Emily, kneeling beside her.

"Yeah…I guess," she whispered. "It's just… weird… all my siblings are…" she sighed, "They're gone…"

Michael didn't know how to react to that. He scowled a little bit and looked out into the distance with her. "I'm… sorry." He said.

"Hm…" She looked down at the ground. "They knew what they were getting themselves into and just… didn't see the right way of things," she said.

Silence fell, and Michael sighed a little bit. He ruffled her hair a little bit.

"Come on kid… let's go home."

Emily nodded. "Home… home sounds good."

The second the two of them got back to the library, they were automatically assaulted and attacked by the rest of the family. Michael was attacked and clung onto by Claire, whispering how worried she was, Miri and Tash behind him and joining in on the group hug. Hati picked up Emily, expressing her own worry for the younger ex-Sue.

Michael gasped that he needed air, as reluctantly the three girls released him. Adrian walked over to him and socked him hard in the arm, making his arm twitch and hold his limb. "Ow…" he said plainly. "The HELL was that for?"

"YOU need to stop risking your life and getting the spot light," Adrian said with a frown, before his mouth turned into a grin, "That's my job after all."

Michael glared at him. "I hate you sometimes."

"Yeah, I know," he shrugged. "But hey, don't get me wrong mate, you did good, we're proud of you." He clapped him on the shoulder with a grin.

Tash and Miri went to Emily, wanting to make sure she was all right as well. Michael looked around as the others congratulated him and made sure Emily was okay, much to her own chargin.

Michael was finally left alone, and he grabbed Claire's arm, pulling her away from the group and into the corner. She blinked and looked up at her boyfriend in confusion. "What's up baby?"

"Look, baby, it's come to my attention that I'm not always going to be there to protect you, despite the fact you can take care of yourself," he said very softly. "And while we're here, I don't know how much longer, I don't know if the next day I could die, or the day after that, or you could die… and… well… life's too short to just wait and hope."

"What are you talking about?" Claire asked.

"Look, today showed me that at any given moment, anything could happen. I could be killed, you could be killed, and well… since it's indifferent… I was hoping to save this for another time but…" He looked down the ground. "I'm too worried about losing you to wait and put this off any longer..."

He reached behind him, and the darkness focused in that own little area, forming into a black, swirling misty box. He kneeled down, held the box up and opened it.

"Claire Louise Upward…will you marry me?"

Claire gasped and held her hand up to her mouth, her eyes wide, before she nodded. "I… Yes, of course Michael."

Michael grinned and stood up, pulling his girlfriend into a deep, deep, kiss…

Miri popped up beside them with a grin on her face. "Oh aniiii…" She grinned. "I heard something I'm sure everyone would like to hear… hey! Everyone!" She called. "Guess what I heard!" She rushed to the group.

"No, Miri, wait!" Michael shouted as he reached for her.

Ahhh, the life and times of the Society… never old…

Monday, November 7, 2011

Insert Priceless Kodak Moment Here

"Emily..." Adrian said, nervously adjusting his fourteenth trenchcoat of the day, "A-Are you sure about this? I don't do terribly well with photos..."

Tash and Lauren exchanged a look, then smirked back at the Librarian mischievously. "Did I just hear the ever-so-eloquent Librarian stutter?" Tash mocked playfully.

One of Adrian's ears twitched. "I don't like having my picture taken."

"Of course I'm sure!" Emily said happily. "I can't believe you guys have never thought to take a group photo of the Society before this!"

The Chief agent was still staring at the kitty-eared Librarian. "Are you pouting?" she asked incredulously.

Adrian scowled. "I don't pout."

"Whether you do or don't," Lauren giggled, "Just don't do it for the picture."


At the far end of the room, another argument was going on.

"For goodness sake, Terrie!" Valerie said, frustrated. "Just pick an outfit and stick with it!"

"But what if I clash with the person standing next to me!" said brunette whined. "I'd never live it down!" She slipped behind the door into an unused hallway, and almost instantly reappeared in a completely different outfit. "How does this one look?"

Chloe, who was standing nearby, leaned over to Monika and whispered, "How does she do that again?"
Monika shook her head, amused. "We're still trying to figure that out..."


"Ben! Kyle!" Camille called with a wave.

The two requested agents trotted over to the techie, who wass kneeling by a pile of wood and scaffolding. "Yeah?"

"I need some dumb muscle to help me put this together, and thought you two would be perfect for the job!" Camille said with a bright smile, completely unaware of the insult she had just delivered.

The two boys visibly bristled. "Who're you calling dumb?" Kyle demanded.

"I'll have you know that I'm just as smart as you!" Ben declared dramatically. "Maybe even smarter! I could be as smart as a supercomputer for all you - ow! Shirley, what was that for?"

The aforementioned Cliché Stick ceased whacking her partner over the head long enough to say, "Do you even have to ask?"

Doyle simply sighed and continued sorting the scaffolding pieces. Honestly, he would never understand humans.


"It's not a sword, it's called a katana. It's an ancient masterpiece, the result of hundreds of years worth of practice and perfecting the art of forging. It-"

"It can only hit one person at a time. Christoph, if you're in a war-zone, you need to have modern weapons, or you're just asking to get killed. You think people are gonna fight you one-on-one just because you ask them to?"

The ninja scowled. "There is such a thing as a code of honor, Lord Douglas."

"Will you two give it a rest already?" Willie, who was leaning against the wall nearby, rolled his eyes. "God, you fight like a pair of synchronized swimmers, but in an argument you never agree. Have you two ever tried timing how long you guys can go at it?" He showed them the stopwatch on his wrist, and they were both (finally) left speechless.


"Has anyone seen Ria?" Emily asked as she wove through the crowd, checking off names.

"Me?" Rhia raised her hand.

"No, I got you already. But there's a person named 'Ria' on my list who's not here yet."

Aster's eyes widened in terror. "You mean there's someone missing from the flight manifest, kyaa~?"

Rhia sighed and patted the blue-haired fae on the shoulder gently. "You've got it backwards, dearie..."

Thought Marcus timidly raised a hand. "I-I b-bel-lieve R-Ria is w-working on m-m-making an OC t-t-to j-joi-join the S-S-Society i-inst-stead of i-ins-serting hers-self."

Emily looked up at the blue-clad version of Marcus. "So she's not here then?"

"N-No, I d-d-don't b-believe s-so."

The young demi-Sue made a small mark on her clipboard, then looked Thought Marcus up and down. "You should probably find Emotion Marcus and fuse together again. It's going to be hard enough to squeeze everyone into a single shot as it is without an extra person."

Thought Marcus nodded politely, then went off to find his counterpart.


A small crowd was gathering around the two mortified agent pairs surrounding the exceptionally loud Emotion Marcus. Pete and Joe kept exchanging glances and trying not to blush or look any place they shouldn't. Karissa looked like she was having trouble keeping herself from punching Emotion Marcus's lights out. Charis simply wanted to melt into the floor.


No one noticed quiet little Thought Marcus until he was standing right next to his other, and, a bright flash of light later, the two were one again. "Sorry about that," Marcus said nervously, and walked away from the tense scene as quickly and unobtrusively as humanly possible.

There was a long and awkward silence.

"So..." Joe began hesitantly, "Do you guys wanna go out?"

Two loud and resounding slaps rang through the spacious room, which everyone did their best to ignore.


Monika observed two of her friends with a look of amusement. I wonder who gave them sugar...?

Granted, seeing Stacey and Danielle not wired-up on something was more of a cause for concern than seeing them hyper like this, but even that had its limits. She looked up at the swinging chandelier the pair of them were precariously swinging on. "How did you two even get up there?"

"Ezra flew us up!" Stacey called back down with a fresh round of inexplicable giggles.

The tall blonde sighed. Of course...

"You wanna join us?" Danielle asked.

Monika considered it for a moment. Granted, Valerie was expecting all three of them back soon, and there were still a few preparations to make before the photo shoot could actually begin. Not to mention she had volunteered to help Camille to build the platforms they would be standing on... But how often did you get to swing from a chandelier?

Oh, to heck with it. "Sure!" She grinned broadly. "Beam me up, Ezra!"

Stacey giggled again. "Believe me, you wouldn't want Ezra to 'beam' you anything."


"Meg! Stop!"

The collie paid no heed as she bounded through the spacious room, barrelling over anyone who happened to be in her path. The Welsh girls, meanwhile, raced after their pet, Trying to minimize the damage as they went.
Finally, after no small amount of effort, the girls captured their wayward pet.

"Is that all we get?" Emma asked indignantly. "That was a difficult chase, you know!"

Hey, don't blame me if the author doesn't know anything about chasing hyperactive collies.

"No conversing with the Narrator in my Library please!" Adrian called over to them from across the room. A small tremor had shook the rafters, prompting nervous looks from Stacey, Danielle, and Monika, so Ezra reappeared to fly them back down to (relative) safety.

Beth sighed, then asked her friends curiously, "What was Meg chasing, anyway?"

"Me!" growled a voice behind them. It was Shirley the Cliche Stick. "And if your mutt decides I look like a fetch stick one more time, things will get very very messy."

All three of them, including the dog, had the sense to gulp.

"Is the platform ready yet?" Jess asked. "I think Leonard's getting bored with the four-by-fours." She nodded in the direction of her sidekick-in-training: the paracitic fetus was indeed chewing into the midsection of a large block of wood, though it was apparent that he did not find the taste to his liking.

"Just about..." Camille muttered. She tightened a few of the bolts underneath, and stepped out. "Done!"

"Great!" Harriet said, clapping the techie on the shoulder in congradulations.

Tash turned to the Society members scattered around the spacious room. "Can we have everyone's attention, please?" she said loudly. Everyone obediantly fell quiet, and Tash gestured to Harriet.

"It has been one year since the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society was founded..." Harriet intoned gravely.

"Actually," Lauren piped up, "we're a few months past our anniversary..."

The Leader paused, looking a little flustered. "It has been one year since the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society opened its doors to new members..."

"Nope," Tash interrupted, "we missed that date too."

"...It has been one year since the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society set up headquarters at the Library Arcanium...!"

Adrian hesitantly raised a hand. "Uhh, actually..."

"Will you people stop ruining the moment?"

There was a long silence.

"Thank you." The Society's Founder and President cleared her throat dramatically. "It has been about a year since we started going around arresting Sues and Stus and all the rest of the stuff we do. It's been a busy summer, to say the least, but with all of us working together, we always pull through. With the coming of the new academic year, I know that many of our agents will be busy with Real Life matters, but I have faith that the new season will be even better than the first!" Unsurprisingly, Harriet's little speech was accompanied by dramatic waves and gestures.

Emily pulled a french beret onto her head in her mentor's honor. "Alright everyone!" Her tiny voice reached across the spacious room. "Line up!"

Everyone began arranging themselves onto the bandstands that had been miraculously set up in the antechamber, despite all the arguments and cliched insults. Lauren, Harriet, and Tash, as the Society's Founders, stood proudly in the center of the front row, the Chief Librarian on Tash's opposite side. Miriku, Michael, and Claire filed in just behind them, and Valerie's team arranged themselves in two rows on their left side, with Valerie closest to the center. Ari appeared out of between somewhere on the ceiling, and swooped down to sit prettily on Valerie's shoulder.

The other team of agents, Emma, Beth, and Kate, went on the right side of the founders as Marcus, Rhia, and Jess lined up on Miri's right. Leonard, who had been promised a cadaver to play with if he behaved himself, was poking his head curiously out of Jess' purple handbag. Kyle was wedged between Claire and Monika, but grinned like the rest of them.

Ben, Drake, and Tyler, with Shirley hovering next to Ben's shoulder, arranged themselves in the middle of the third row. Camille and Doyle stood to Tyler's left, and Jarred and Chloe went on Ben's right. Karissa and Charis slid in next to Chloe, Willie following them to complete the line.

Christoph, Algazdun on his shoulder, stood next to Doug in the very back, along with Pete and Joe. And Aster, in fae form, hovered between and just above the two pairs, apparently unable to stand still. After some shuffling, everyone was squeezed onto the platform, and everyone was fully visible to the camera.
Emily set the timer on the camera, then dashed back to stand in front of Harriet, an adorable smile on her face. Adrian continued adjusting his trenchcoat, seemingly unable to stop fidgiting.

"What is wrong with you?" Tash asked him, trying not to move.

"I told you," he muttered, "I don't like getting my picture taken!"

"Why on earth not?"

He rolled his eyes. "Does there have to be a reason? Maybe I just don't like it." The Librarian suddenly became aware of a hot flush coming to life on his cheeks, and looked anywhere but at Tash's face.

Tash, meanwhile, smirked. "Now you're blushing. That makes three things I don't get to see all that often." She snaked an arm around his neck, pulling him closer. She never could resist that blush... "And three things that no one but me willl ever see..."

And suddenly Emily's adorable smile became a smirk of triumph.


"Finally," the Librarian muttered, striding quickly out of the over-crowded room. Tash rolled her eyes and followed him out, plans to unkink his tail already running through her mind. The rest of the Society dispersed almost as quickly, due to Harriet's continued shouts of "Alright, break's over! Back to work, everyone!"

As she ran to collect her camera, Emily looked back at where Aster was still hovering, and the two exchanged a mischievious smirk. The fae flew over the heads of her fellow agents, landing right next to the girl. "Did they do it?" Aster asked eagerly.

"Yep," Emily replied with a wide grin. "I told'ja they would!"

The pair of them looked eagerly at the small digital preview screen on the camera... at one couple in particular, who were snogging each other in plain view, front-row center.

"Just a little cropping and re-sizing, and it'll be perfect!" Aster smirked. "I told them I'd have photos of them. Blackmail, here I come!"


Several hours later...
"I know what it is!" Harriet suddenly exclaimed, waking several agents from their sleep in the process, "It's the day of our 100th oneshot!"

A loud rumble filled the halls of the Library, waking everyone else and prompting an enraged "ASTER!" from the Chief Librarian, as per usual.

"Kyaa, we missed that one too, Hari-san." Aster commented. No one asked what she was doing in Harriet's bedroom. Probably looking for some of her confiscated manga. "The author of this fic was too lazy to submit it in time." At that, an even louder rumble was heard, and several shelves of books mysteriously broke.

"ASTER!" Adrian shouted again. He sounded particularly pissed this time, though for once it wasn't about the fourth wall.

The little fae suddenly became the picture of innocence. "Kyaa~?"

Friday, November 4, 2011

TAOM: Michael - Happy Birthday

The halls were silent. The lights were buzzing gently, and there was no one in sight. Truly, it was a dim day at the library, and there was no one around.

It was perfect.

"I think the coast is clear…" Michael mumbled to no one in particular, but when you were Michael, you were NEVER talking to yourself.

Ah, but the coast is never clear now is it? It cooed into his ear. They shall find you… that lover of yours and your sisters know exactly what day it is… and they are planning…

"God I hate you sometimes…" Michael growled to the dark parasite that dwelled inside of him, and he slinked his whole body out into the brightly lit florescent hallway. "I think we're in the clear… I just need to avoid everyone until midnight and I'll be good…"

And then his heart stopped.

His skin paled.

There were footsteps coming down the hallway. He didn't know who they belonged to, and he had a feeling, regardless of which it was, they KNEW what day it was.

"Michael!" Exclaimed the British voice that belonged to his elder adopted sister, Tash. She had a LARGE grin on her face.

And Michael had never run so fast in his life.


"How do they always know where I am?" Michael asked as he slinked around one of the many, many, towering book cases that were simply lined with dozens of hundreds of books, and it would prove to be an ample hiding spot for now.

You thought you were sure you were in the clear earlier, when you remained in your room, The darkness taunted. Eventually you're going to learn you have no hiding spot in this psychotic little mental institution you call a home, he said, chortling.

"Because I should be good if you would just keep your mouth shut and let me think." Michael growled as he grabbed a book from the shelf of the society and began to read. It was Beowulf, one of his favorites. He began to read to himself, until a colorful little piece of plastic landed on the page of his book.

Blinking, he looked up to see a small shower of the colorful plastic pieces. Red, blue, green, pink, purple, white, dark blue and neon pink.

And through the shower of the plastic bits was a grinning, frizzy haired, red headed girl. Miri waved at her older brother.

When the plastic rain stopped, Michael was nowhere to be found.


"I despise confetti." Michael growled as he shook his head, another miniature shower of the confetti falling from his long hair as he took to walking through the hallways again, finding the flickering lights to be a somewhat better company. Besides, if anything were to come at him, at least he'd SEE them.

As you humans say, third time IS the charm.

"Here's hoping it STAYS that way." Michael said as he looked at the hallway, down both ends, and plopped down against the wall. He pulled out his H.P. Lovecraft novel, and began to read.

I thought you grabbed Beowulf? asked the darkness after a confused silence.

"You think a lot of things," Michael grumbled as he tuned to a story, "besides; a plot hole like this is acceptable."

At that, the ground and the hallway beg an to shake violently, and Michael needed to find his ground.



You're cruel, The Darkness chuckled, and I like that.

"I'm not here to please you," Michael said with a shrug, "But, admittedly, it IS fun to blame Aster for my numerous Fourth Wall breakings."

There was silence that followed in the hallway as his eyes began to drift from left to right, taking in the words of the difficult author H.P. Lovecraft. Something off to the side caught his eye. Looking up, he saw the lights beginning to flicker on and off on either side of the hallway.

Eventually, Darkness surrounded the Gary Stu Gutter.

"Well, THAT'S not ominous."

Ahhh… now this is MY kind of relaxation time…The Darkness hisses, as the pair of snake heads slithered out of his back and around him, reveling in the darkness that had been mysteriously granted to him.

All Michael could hear as of now was his own breathing. Inhale… exhale… inhale… exhale… inhale… exhale.

There was a pair of soft footsteps off to the side of him. He held his breath, as his eyes hadn't yet adjusted to the darkness. Something was there with him. A soft, little giggle filled the air, and Michael felt his heart skip a beat.

A brief flash of light revealed someone was staring at him directly in the face. RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM.

For the second time that day, Michael darted down the hallway. This time, however, he did a very unprofessional scream.

The darkness cleared a moment later, and Claire was standing there, a cute little party hat on her head and a noise making in her mouth. With a cute grin, she blew the noise maker and gave her boyfriend chase.

"No where is safe," Michael mumbled under his breath as he walked into the kitchen, his eyes darting back and forth in a very paranoid sort of way, "They're all out to get me… they won't stop… never truly alone… trust nothing… believe no one…"

There's that decadent aroma again… the Darkness said to its host, inhaling somewhat deeply. It made Michael inhale too, and smack his lips.

"Mm, yeah, it does smell good." He agreed with the parasite. "What IS that smell?"

Walking over to the oven, he opened it slowly…

And shut it in horror. "Oh god," he gulped. "I'm too late…" he looked around in panic. "They're almost done… I need to get out of here…"

He was about to leave the room, ever so quietly…


"H-He's leaving t-the k-kitchen!"

"Dammit!" he screamed in frustration and raced out the room.


"Just when you think you know someone,' Michael groaned, "They all go against you… behind your back… start snitching on you… no one is good!"

You realize Adrian is right behind you.

Michael obviously didn't hear, as he was still walking down the hallway, biting on his fingernails. "Darkness is bad… light is bad… everything back…"

I say, the Librarian is right behind you…

Once more he didn't hear him. He continued to walk…

And a lasso looped him and he was jerked backwards Crying out in surprise, Michael fell to the ground, and felt his hands and knees tied up promptly.

"What the hell!" Michael exclaimed, struggling. "Did you know about this?" he hissed to the darkness.


"You could have warned me!"


"There," Adrian said to his girlfriend as she, Miri and Claire walked up behind the librarian, "that's one Gary Sue Gutter, all tied up nice and pretty, now pay up."

Tash only rolled her eyes and giggled. Reaching over, she gently grabbed his ear and began to rub it and tweak it. Adrian was instant putty, and he nuzzled against her petting hand in an affectionate way.

"Ahhh…" he purred against her rubbing hand, his tail twitching a little bit. "That's the STUFF…"

"Ahhh, you're so easy to please," Tash giggled a bit as she kissed the librarian's cheek softly, and continued to rub at his ears. Claire and Miri grabbed Michael's legs, easy, mind you, and began to drag him off into a nearby room.

"Adrian!" Michael snapped, struggling. "Help me! Please!"

The Librarian was too busy being petted to really care, leaning against his other half with pleased sigh "…huh…?"

"Now, hush…" Claire told her boyfriend as they hauled him through the door. "We're just going to celebrate…"

"No! No! I won't let you! No! Noooooooo!"


With all the fuss you were giving, I thought they were going to sacrifice you to some ludicrous sugar god or an offering for more manga…

"With this group, honestly?" Michael asked as he struggled to remove himself from the chair he found himself tied too. "Wouldn't put it past them."

Why do you hate this day? I was under the impression this was one of the most highly anticipated days of a human's life…

"It is, don't get me wrong," he said softly. "And I love these guys for doing it but…sometimes being the center of attention is a bit embarrassing…"

You humans are so stupid… well, I'll leave you be to your blushing… you have some embarrassment to do with your family…

Michael was left alone in silence, but not for long. Soon, Claire plopped down in his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing it, grinning. Miri put a cake in front of Michael, and Tash lit the candles.

And the voice of the Society began to sing.

"Happy Birthday to You… Happy Birthday to you…"

Thank god these only come once a year… Michael thought to himself, finally smiling as he leaned against Claire. Wasn't so bad, he guessed…

At least until him, Tash or Miri attacked the cake, accusing it of being a lie and running off, laughing manically. THEN it was just a normal day.