Thursday, April 28, 2011

Insert Random Music-Related Word Here

The Kiva segment of the Kamen Rider fandom had fallen under attack. This was no normal attack, not like the monsters of the week that normally just attacked the heroes upfront. No this attack was far more subtle.

A Mary-Sue, Abigail Ryun Berstoil Von Schtick the 45th, had infiltrated the fandom and begun taking over.
The tall blonde with a freakishly skinny figure and far too obvious curves appeared in the middle of a battle between Wataru and Taiga. Wataru wearing the golden armor of Kiva was winning against the Saga empowered Taiga.

Wataru had just hit his half-brother with a punch and aggravated a wound he had received previously. Taiga groaned and dropped to one knee. The enraged Wataru went in for the kill, leaping into the air and thrusting out both of his feet, two large fangs made of red light popping out of the sides of his leg.

At this point, Mio would dash in and block the attack for Taiga, the action indirectly leading to her death and a lot of angst and guilt for poor Wataru. Fortunately tall blonde with a freakishly skinny figure and far too obvious curves, Abigail Ryun Berstoil Von Schtick the 45th, dived out of nowhere and tackled Taiga to the ground. Even in the midst of the dive, her long hair somehow stayed in place.

Wataru glanced over at the newcomer his eyes going wide behind the red lenses of his mask. He turned back to see Mio had started to run forward and realized what would have happened, had the beautiful woman not interfered. The two combatants returned to human form as the small biomechanical creatures that granted them their Rider forms left their places on the suit's armor.

Abigail Ryun Berstoil Von Schtick the 45th quickly introduced herself. Explaining that she was a half-Fangire like Wataru. She had suffered a rather tragic past at the hands of the previous Fangire Queen who had killed her parents. Being perfect though, she knew that the Queen (who incidentally was the mother of both Wataru and Taiga) had only been doing her job and didn't hold a grudge. Especially after the Queen apologized to her tearfully and begged her forgiveness which Abigail granted.

She convinced Taiga that Fangire and humans could live peacefully and produced a method for the Fangire to thrive without needing to absorb human life energy. Next she got Wataru and Mio together and convinced Taiga that it was not meant to be between him and Mio. (Even though Mio was predestined to be the new Fangire Queen kind of disagreed with that point.) She then revealed that it was she who was really meant to be the new Fangire Queen and thus Taiga's bride. At these words, the Queen's mark left the back of Mio's hand and appeared on Abigail's. Taiga was delighted to have a new Queen and immediately proposed to Abigail who said yes without hesitation.

Several days passed with complete and perfect peace, thanks in large part to Abigail Ryun Berstoil Von Schtick the 45th who had received the Dark Kiva powers from Maya the former Queen. She proved her worth by using these powers to destroy the rebellious Fangire Bishop. Taiga allowed her to keep the powers even though they were went for the King of the Fangire, in other words himself. But hey, Abigail was his perfect beautiful Queen and she deserved to have it, right? (Ugh, I feel nauseous…)

This "perfect peace" wouldn't last though as a plothole ripped open within Wataru's violin workshop. A teen that looked like he might be nearing his twenties stumbled out of the plothole and crashed into the wall. He groaned and muttered angrily as the plothole closed. The self-insert rubbed his head and glanced around the room. His brown eyes filled with wonderment as he examined a setting from one of his favorite shows. He quit rubbing at the bump developing under his dark brown hair and walked over to a cabinet containing a beautifully crafted violin.

A small gold and black colored bat-like creature swooped into the room and flew at the newcomer.

"What are you doing in here?" Kivat the Third demanded.

"Um," the newest society agent wasn't quite sure how to explain his trespassing.

"Just get out," Kivat snapped, fluttering towards the much larger human and batting at him with his wings, which surprisingly hurt. The teen stumbled back and tried to bat his agile attacker away with his arms.

"Hold on, I'm here to fix this fandom!" the agent shouted.

Kivat paused and stared at him. "What's wrong with this fandom?"

"It's been invaded by a Mary-Sue... Waid, how do you know about fandoms?"

"Are you kidding? I broke the fourth wall at the start of every episode!" Kivat explained. "What's your name?"

"Call me Drake," the teen replied. "Now where's Wataru?"

"He's over at Taiga and Abigail's wedding ceremony," Kivat replied.

"What?" Drake exclaimed. "Lead the way!"

The bat was surprised and hesitated a moment, before he flew out the door, Drake quickly took off after him and crashed into the wall next to the doorway. He groaned and staggered about for a moment, before dashing through the door.

The wedding was taking place in the same dark and creepy looking church where Taiga and Mio had almost gotten married. However, they were doing a traditional human wedding this time and not the Fangire sort. Wataru was in attendance along with Mio. The members of the Aozora Organization were also there. The Organization had originally been dedicated to hunting down Fangires, but with Abigail's bring about peace, it was now spearheading human and Fangire relations.

Taiga and Abigail prepared to kiss, but the doors to the church banged up and Drake charged in fist raised and bellowing. "I object!"

The entire wedding posse stood and stared at the stranger, wondering just who this nut was.

Drake slowed to a walk and noticed the stares. He looked sheepish and waved. "Hi…"

"Who are you?" Abigail's growl was majestic and her sneer even managed to be beautiful. Poor Taiga was enraptured by the Sue's powers.

"I'm Drake, as of this story the newest agent of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society and I'm here to arrest the bride for acts of Sueishness," he thrust his badge forward.

"Taiggy," Drake grimaced as Abigail used this nickname. Taiga however reacted totally out of character with a love-stricken smile. "This guy is an anti-Fangire fanatic and he wants to hurt me, please destroy him."

"Of course, my dear," Taiga replied as Sagarc a small white UFO-like creature hovered out of the rafters and attached to Taiga's waist with a belt strap emerging from its wings. The Fangire King raised a white sword hilt and thrust it into Sagarc's side.

"Henshin!" Taiga commanded.

"HENSHIN!" Sagarc repeated in its electronic voice. Waves of blue energy emitted from the belt as Taiga's skin turned metallic and shattered apart, revealing the white and blue armor of Saga under it. The sword hilt now had a thin red blade emerging from it.

"Nii-san wait!" Wataru said as he leapt out in front of Taiga. Kivat was hovering over his shoulder. "Kivat said we should listen to what Drake has to say."

"Move aside, Wataru," Taiga said, raising his weapon. "If Abigail says he is a threat, then I'll destroy him."
Drake gulped nervously. A determined look appeared on Wataru's face. "I'm not moving. Henshin."

"Kivat go!" Kivat exclaimed as he sank his fangs into Wataru's hand, causing the half-Fangire's stained glass-like markings to appear and a cluster of ghostly chains to wrap around his waist and form a red belt. Kivat flew to the belt buckle and perched himself upside down on it. Tatsulot, a small gold dragon hovered out of the crowd and attached to the back of Wataru's arm. The regal gold and red Kiva armor formed around Wataru and he charged at Taiga.

"No! Don't fight each other! Kill him!" Abigail shrieked. Her Sue powers made even her shriek sound sublime.

"Okay, I'm sick of you," Drake said, charging past the two dueling Kamen Riders and towards the Sue.
"Fine, I'll take care of you myself," Abigail raised a skinny hand and Kivat the Second, a red and black version of Wataru's Kivat, hovered down and bit her hand. "Henshin!"

The bat perched upside on the belt that formed around her waist and the Sue morphed into the armor of Dark Kiva.

Drake paused and visibly shook in anger. "Using a canon power for your own purposes? That's it! No more Mister Nice Self-Insert."

"Dragon Spirit Technique! Wardrobe Change!" Blue flames enveloped his body and replaced his street clothes with blue dragon-themed armor. He was incased from head to toe in the hard metal. It resembled the Rider forms of this fandom mixed in with medieval armor.

"So you decide to give your self-insert character weaponry based on your favorite shows?" Abigail asked.
"What's wrong with that?" Drake asked. "Most other agents use a sword and I wanted to go for a more original weapon. Now let's do this."

Epic theme music began playing as Drake leapt at Abigail. Abigail raised her arm and grabbed hold of his ankle before his foot could connect. The music stopped, replaced by the sound of a record needle scrapping and then silence.

"Uh-oh," Drake said, before Abigail spun him by his leg and slammed him into the preacher's pulpit. Luckily the preacher and most of the wedding posse had retreated to a safe distance to watch the fight.

Abigail swung Drake back and released his ankle sending him flying into a wall. He slowly stood up, catching a glimpse of Wataru and Taiga's fight, before focusing on Abigail again. She calmly walked towards him as he raised his fists. He threw a punch, but she blocked it and slammed a fist into his helmet, cracking the visor. She continued to assail him with blows, the armor no match for the power of the Dark Kiva suit. She grabbed his neck in a hand and forced him back against the wall, squeezing to cut off his oxygen supply.

"And you thought you could take me in…" Abigail shook her helmeted head sadly as Drake struggled against her grip.

He stopped struggling and reached down, pulling a metal bracelet from behind his back and slapping it onto the wrist attached to the hand around her neck. The prohibitor released a flash of bright light which enveloped the whole church. Once the light faded, the entire wedding posse had vanished, along with Abigail's Dark Kiva armor.

"What happened?" the confused Mary-Sue asked staring at the bracelet affixed to her wrist.

"I slapped a prohibitor on you," Drake replied, his smirk half-visible through the cracks in his helmet visor. "It seals all your Sueish powers and undoes whatever damage you did to a fandom."

With that explanation, Drake broke the Sue's hold on his neck and kicked her away. Without Dark Kiva's power and her own Sueish might, Abigail turned and fled. Drake growled and quickly took off after her.
He burst through the church doors and glanced around. Abigail had stopped running and grabbed a young girl off the street, pressing an ornate dagger to her neck.

"What are you doing?" Drake demanded. He recognized the girl as Shizuka Nomura, a supporting character in this fandom.

"I should think it would be obvious," Abigail replied. "Tell me how to get this prohibitor off and I'll let the girl go."

Drake snarled angrily and glared at the ground. He kicked a piece of litter away and his armor reverted to his street clothes. He pulled out a key and tossed it to Abigail. She kept the dagger against Shizuka's throat while her free hand worked the key and unlocked the prohibitor. The bracelet dropped to the ground and Abigail released her hostage, who quickly darted away.

Abigail leered prettily at Drake as a large unstable plothole opened behind her. "See you later…"

She stepped into the plothole and disappeared. Drake growled and kicked the ground again. He pulled out his communicator and contacted the Society. "I fixed the damage she caused, but she escaped to another fandom."

Monday, April 25, 2011

Insert Scary Dream-Related Name Here

The members of the Anti-Cliché and Mary Sue Elimination Society were gathered in the meeting room wondering why Tash had called the meeting. They found out when she entered, along with a small kid. He looked 12 or 13. His appearance was thoroughly unremarkable. He had medium length brown hair, brown eyes, pale skin, and freckles.

"Okay," said Tash, "This is a new member, Tyler. He's going on a minor mission to the Dream World. A rogue idea has escaped and has mutated into a Gary Stu. We're using this as his training mission." Through most of the explanation, Tyler had been waving. When Tash was done, Tyler left.


Meanwhile, in Nightopia…

NiGHTS and Reala were playing a hand of gin. As NiGHTS realigned the cards in her hand, she thought back to why Nightopia was so peaceful. Last week, the Nightopians, plus NiGHTS, had been fighting Wizeman's army of Nightmarens. Then, he appeared.

Phantom. The blue-outfitted, handsome, Nightmaren. In one day, he had convinced Wizeman that he should stop trying to take over the Dream World. Then, he had created a design that perfectly merged Nightopia and Nightmare. Next, he caused peace between Reala and NiGHTS, and by extension, everyone else. The fourth day, he returned all the Ideya to every Visitor who had ever lost theirs. The fifth day, he helped NiGHTS and Reala create dozens of new persona masks, allowing them to mimic every existing animal and object. The sixth day, he set up a defense system to protect the Dream World from the occasional nightmare.

The seventh day, he did nothing, because he was now loved by everybody.

Tyler flew through the air in his new Nightmaren guise. After about an hour of crashing into trees, mountains, and Nightopians, he had finally figured out how flying worked. Now he had to find Phantom. There! Over a green hill, Phantom was lazily drifting through the air. Tyler flew in. The minute Phantom noticed him, however, he shot off at supersonic speeds, leaving Tyler in the dust. Tyler gaped.

"That… is… really annoying." Tyler thought for a while.

"Wait a minute… this guy is ultimate goodity, if that's really a word, so maybe…" Tyler looped and dropped to the ground, then started moaning. Phantom flew over.

"Are you okay? You look like you fell. I'll get you back in the sky. After all, it's my duty to help those who aren't as awesome as me." As Phantom reached down, Tyler grabbed his leg and yanked him down.

"You…oof!" Alex shouted as Phantom shoved his free foot into Tyler's face. Tyler managed to hang on as Phantom launched into the air, performing unbelievable acrobatics without batting an eye. Finally, after the 50th loop-de-loop, Tyler fell off. However, he quickly flew back up and grabbed Phantom by the wrist.

"I'm a member… well, a rookie… of the Anti-Cliché and Mary Sue Elimination Society, and you're under arrest for being a Gary Stu!"


"Oh whatever." Tyler took out a bracelet and placed it on Phantom's wrist. There was a flash of light.

"What was that?" asked the surprised Phantom.

"That's a Prohibitor. It cleanses you of your Stu-ish power and this fandom of your actions."

"What actions? I've never done anything wrong!"

"Exactly. You're destroying the story by being so perfect. At least, you were."

"Whatever. I still have a few more tricks up my sleeve." Phantom flew towards a tall tree.

"NiGHTS! Reala! Help! I'm being attacked!" The two famous Nightmaren flew from the tree where they had just started a screaming match. When they saw Phantom, they stopped, puzzled.

"Who's this joker?" scoffed Reala.

"I don't know but… Reala, no!" Reala flew at Phantom and slashed him across the face.

"Reala! Don't hurt him!" NiGHTS flew in front of Reala just as Phantom shot forwards. Phantom slammed into NiGHTS, knocking her to the ground. She flew back up, snarling.

"Together then?" she asked Reala.

"Together," he replied. The two flew at Phantom and began to beat the living daylights out of him.

"What are you doing? You're my friends!" cried Phantom.

"Not anymore," called up Tyler. "They don't know you, remember?" Tyler flew up, grabbed Phantom, and prepared to leave the dream world.

"You haven't won yet," growled Phantom. "The Society can't catch me, especially some stupid little rookie." With that, he shut his eyes tight, glowed yellow, then disappeared in a flash, sending Tyler sprawling. Tyler looked up to see Reala diving towards him. Just before the evil Nightmaren struck, Tyler disappeared.


"So, how did it go?" questioned Marcus, a tall teenager with a slight goatee.

"Not well," replied Tyler. "He woke up, and probably escaped to another fandom."

"Oh. Well, do you know where?"

"No idea. But, I'm going to hunt him down. He insulted me and the entire it was just a job. Now… now it's personal."

Friday, April 22, 2011

TAOM: Kyle - Training Session

Inside a specific room in the Library Arcanium, the agent known as Kyle was training. After his battle with Deary Attrim Marie Nastasia Manson Alto Docker, he asked Adrian for a special training room. One of the main features of this room was its padding, dark padding covered the floor and all of the walls. The reason for this...

"Deadly Impact!" Kyle's fist struck a steel panel hanging from a chain safely away from a wall and basically turned it into a bowl. As it was swinging away, Kyle's body felt the force behind the blow recoil back and then he was sent flying backwards into a padded wall. very obvious. Well, that's why he was training. He knew that he couldn't be hesitant with his innate abilities any longer if he was to avoid using his ultimate skill. That thought crossed his mind as he was pulling himself to a standing position. The Heaven and Earth, Worldly Secret Art, an ability that allowed his soul to exceed the limits of his body. However, this ability burned his candle of life at its brightest and that meant he was cutting into his lifespan with each use. Shaking his head, he gathered himself and leaped at a large punching bag.

"Titanic Blow!" Both of his fists slammed, only millimeters apart, into the bag, which proceeded to break off its support and land a few feet away. Just like the Deadly Impact, the force of the blow recoiled back and sent him flying back into a wall. With the recoil that much stronger because of it using both fists, it took him a bit longer to recover. Stumbling away from the wall, he took some breaths and steadied himself.

He was breathing heavily from the combined effort of his training and the drawbacks of his abilities. In-between breaths, he managed to say to the room itself, "Renew targets."

At once, hundreds of training targets of various kinds appeared out of nowhere or repaired themselves to pristine condition. Having recovered his breath enough, Kyle continued with his training. Visibly focusing energy into his left hand, he shoved it palm forward and shouted, "Aurora Grenade!"

A sphere of ever-shifting colors shot toward a group of straw dummies and blew them to bits upon contact with the first one. However, almost immediately after it left his hand, Kyle's left arm fell numbly to his side. Mostly ignoring it, he adjusted his stance a bit and then charged towards another target. He sprung into the air a bit and utilized a kicking ability with the cry of, "Blasting Quake!"

He landed with a stomp that literally exploded underneath his feet. This explosion knocked him off his feet and then sped toward the target he had been running at. Hitting said target caused an even bigger explosion that obliterated it. With a huff, Kyle struggled to his feet. This continued for several more minutes, in which time his arm regained function and several more explosions occurred.

"Compressed Bomber!" Leaping into the air, he gathered energy in-between his hands and slammed it into an area surrounded by dummies. It exploded, of course, and demolished the dummies and sent Kyle flying once again. Landing on his back, he took a breather to inspect his hurting arms after the attack. He held them up and saw that they were greatly singed. Slowly lowering them until they lay beside him, he took a moment to decide if he wanted to quit his training for now while they heal or heal them like he did his injuries received from Deary.

Deciding to try one more technique before calling it quits so he can recover, he ignored all of his pain as he pushed himself to standing. He held his arms out in front of him, side by side, and released one of his most powerful innate abilities.

"The.. END!"

Almost every member of the Society not out on a mission felt a massive shockwave shake the Library Arcanium. It disturbed them from whatever they had been doing at the time, but not enough to interfere with it, except for ones playing games that required near constant attention. Adrian rushed toward the epicenter of the shockwave, wondering what had caused such a quake in his Library. When he get close enough, he saw that the door to the training room had been blow clean off its hinges. He slowed down once he reached the "open" door and then went in.

The entire room had been demolished; holes leading to other parts of the Library were clearly evident. In the center of this destruction was Kyle, laying flat on his back and in obviously bad shape. Adrian decided that interrogations on the injured person could wait until he was actually awake. Picking Kyle up as best he could without aggravating the injuries, Adrian took him to the nearest medical room.

It was a few hours later when Kyle woke up. Well, technically he woke up. From the perspective of anyone who would be watching him, he might have been among the dead for how much he moved. Inside his mind, however, he was regaining access to his senses and one of the first things he felt, was pain. Instinctively flinching, he didn't realize where he was until he actually tried to move and found himself unable to. At that point, he noticed that; his hands and forearms were completely wrapped in something, something was covering his left eye, there was pressure on his torso not from a blanket, and his legs were immobilized by something.

He opened his right eye to see both his condition and the medical room he was laying in. Kyle just let himself lay there while taking stock of the situation. After a few moments of this, he let out a sigh and wondered if anyone would be visiting him. Apparently either waiting for some sign that he was awake or in response to his silent thought, Adrian and Tash stepped into his line of sight.

"Heh, so two of the leaders came to tell me off for being so stupid. I had thought that I was just going to get one of the other members coming in and telling me that the leaders were calling me an idiot. I'm truly honored," Kyle got out in a pained whisper.

"We'll get to that later. Right now, you should just be grateful that you don't have any permanent damage. Heck, you don't even have anything broken. You got incredibly lucky with that," Tash responded in a hard tone. Adrian tapped his foot in irritation as both of the leaders glared their disapproval at the injured guy.

"My record continues, huh? I have never had a broken bone, ever," Kyle coughed out. "Yeah, I'll consider myself lucky. With my injuries, it'll take a while to let them heal naturally."

"I was unconscious when you had gone off into the Street Fighter world, but some of the Society watching you on that mission told me that you had instantly healed yourself with an aura. Why don't you just do that now so you don't have to wait?" Adrian asked with the glare still in place.

Kyle looked away for a couple of moments before answering, "Because that's merely a byproduct of the Heaven and Earth, Worldly Secret Art."

Tash's gaze softened a bit while she spoke, "I was frantic when I saw that Sue do that stuff to you. I had been wondering if I could get anyone there quickly enough to stop her. Then you pulled that trick out of your arse and obliterated her. What is this Worldly Secret Art anyway?"

He took even longer to reply this time, "It's a release. The Heaven and Earth, Worldly Secret Art allows the limitless depths of the soul to exceed the bonds of a mortal body. This allows the user to burn their candle of life at its brightest."

Adrian went from disapproving scowl to a very disapproving scowl, "Wait a minute here. Burning a candle with a brighter flame accelerates the melting of its wax. If you apply that to a candle of life..."

"Exactly... The Heaven and Earth, Worldly Secret Art allows the user to perform almost godlike feats while their mortal lifespan gets shortened. Why do you think I was training so hard?" Kyle stated in a faintly sad voice.

"Is that also why you've always used weaponry before now? Because you didn't want to deal with the drawbacks of your skills?" Tash questioned accusingly.

Kyle coughed a few times and then replied, "Yeah, that's also true. I guess I wasn't ready to feel the weight of my power. You can go ahead and call me an idiot now."

The two leaders share a look at each other before Tash turned back to Kyle, "I said we'd get to that later. Right now, just rest."

With that, the leaders left the room quietly. Kyle let his gaze follow them until they were out of sight.

"I'm an idiot," Kyle murmured to himself. Coughing some more, he let his eye close and began willing himself to sleep.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Insert Dramatically Dark Future Here


"Quit it."


"Quit it!"


"I said quit it!" Tash whined as Miri continued to poke the blonde haired, third owner of the Elimination Society. She was still in bed of course, resting after Willowe had nearly killed her and Hati.

"No," said the younger, brunette member as she poked her shoulder again with a pout, "This is what you get for scaring me and the others…"

"I had to, you know." Tash said with a small sigh, "Besides, why not go bug Hati? I know you worried about her too."

"That's beside the point," the younger snapped suddenly. "I really thought I was going to lose my Aneki…" She whimpered a bit, looking down at her lap worriedly.

The blonde had to smile at that and leaned over to give the younger girl a small hug, which of course was rather tough, considering how she was nearly tied to the damn bed, "Don't worry Imoto…" She whispered, pecking her cheek softly with a small grin. "If Willowe from Elfen Lied can't kill me, I don't think there's going to be much out there that can," she said with a small smirk.

Miri had to grin at that and nodded, "Right," she said with a nod.

There was a silence, and finally, Miri spoke up.

"Can I…?"

Tash sighed and held up a permanent marker. "If you must." She giggled.

Miri grinned and grabbed it, adding her name and messages that had all ready peppered her cast. One of the more dominant was from Adrian, stating simply in bold black marker…

"So help me, if you even consider doing this again I will kill you, make no mistake about it! Get well soon!"

"What he said!" was what Marcus had put.

"We love ya!"

"Stop worrying us like that!"

"Either you get better soon or we're gonna hurt you!"

"Get well soon, Aneki, I don't like seeing you like this, love ya lots, Miri," Miri finished as she underlined it and smiled. "There! Now like the others keep saying, if you do this again, I'm gonna put ya back in." She grinned.

Tash grinned in return and ruffled her all ready mussed up hair. "I wouldn't put it past you."

"Ahem," said a voice near the doorway.

Both girls looked up to see Michael, standing there, his right hand in his pitch black hoodie, looking at them stoically.

"Tash, can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked her very softly.

"Of course," she said softly, nodding.

"I'll be outside." Miri said as she scurried past her older self appointed brother, and Michael walked over to Tash and took a seat that Miri had previously taken, and nothing was said. Michael was staring at her cast, and Tash was staring just as extensively at the wall across from her.

"Are you feeling any better?" he asked her, his voice barely above a whisper as he asked the question.

"As good as I'm going to get," she said in affirmation, before she turned her head over to the brunette, caped Gary Stu hunter. Sensing something, she frowned. "I doubt you're here just to see if I'm fine…"

"Don't get me wrong, Aneki, I am," he said with a curt nod of his head. There was further silence, before he let loose a small, sad sigh. "I need…I need to know how to hack Adrian's computer, get past all the defenses and get into a Black List Fandom."

Tash immediately said with a very curt shake of her head. "I'm not letting you end up in the same position as me."

"I'm not going to be," he stated, "I know everything that Fandom has to offer. Compared to everything else, else, this'll be a cakewalk."

"WHY do you need to go?" Tash asked him curtly, "I don't remember there being any Black List assignments…"

"…" he looked off to the side. "That's personal." he stated. "I really need to know."

Tash sighed a bit. "I don't know why I should tell you. If everyone's giving me a hard time for being here, I don't know why I should let YOU be in the same position as me."

Michael smiled ironically. "You're one of the heads of the Society, and so is Hati, and Adrian runs the whole library. I'm a lowly grunt, everyone here has something, but if I die, nothing big."


"OW!" Michael hissed, rubbing his cheek slowly from the hard smack Tash had given him.

"It WOULD be a big, and don't you EVER assume your death wouldn't be missed," Tash hissed dangerously at him, "You're just as important in this whole thing as I am, as Adrian, as anyone else."

Michael chuckled softly. "If you say so." He smiled. "So, are you gonna tell me how to get past it, or am I gonna have to break the fourth wall numerous times?"

Tash narrowed her eyes at him. "You wouldn't dare…" she challenged.

"Trust me, if I'm as insane as my writer is…"

No sooner did he say that, the entire library began to rumble and shake. Everyone winced and stopped, and everyone in the general vicinity could hear Adrian screaming at whoever did that to stop.

"Tash did it!"


"And I'll keep doing that until you tell me how to get in," Michael chuckled to her.

She pouted and sighed. "Ask Camille." she mumbled under her breath. "I heard Adrian added in a lot of new defenses, should be easy for someone like Camille to break in like that."

"Okay." he said with a nod. "Wish me luck."

"Michael," she said quickly as he was about to leave, "so help me, if I find out anything happened to you, I will kill you. I say that a lot, but I will kill you if anything happens to you."

He paused and sighed softly. "I know." he whispered worriedly and walked off.

Tash frowned.

"So," The dark skinned Ex-Techie asked the brunette Gary Stu Gutter, currently looking up from working on Doyle. "You need me to help you hack past all of Adrian's defenses," she said, putting Doyle's arm back into his socket as the Android stood up and worked the arm around, making sure it functioned properly. "Question is, why should I?"

"Camille," Michael sighed sadly. "You don't know me all that well but please…you need to help me. Getting past this defense is a matter of life or death."

Camille frowned. "I don't know…"

Doyle spoke up with a, "Helping other agents in times of need is what you agreed to when you joined the Society, Camille. Helping him in a time of need is nearly required."

Camille sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Fine," she said softly, "I'll help you, but if anyone asks, I didn't do anything."

"I promise," Michael said, and then smiled. "Thanks Camille…"

"No prob," she waved it off. "Why do you need to go to a Black List anyway?"

There was a long silence between the three, and finally, the brunette sighed, "Someone took something from me… and I want it back…"

No one said anything past those ominous words.

"Aniki?" Miri asked as she poked her head into Michael's room, frowning. It was odd, the whole place was dark, and Claire wasn't in there either. She walked in and stumbled about before she found a light switch, and let her eyes become adjusted.

The whole place was a wreck, almost as if Michael was in a rush to find something, and frowned. Grabbing the bed sheets, she peeled the back and found a crumpled up piece of paper, with words written on it. A letter perhaps?

She unfolded it and began to read.

Dear Gary Stu Gutter,

You may not know who I am, but trust me, I know who you are. You're quite well known, seeing as you ain't got no respect for my brothers and sister of the Stus and the Sues. So I decided, hey, why don't I show you how it feels?

I took something of yours, and let me tell you kid, she's a very pretty little thing, and it would be a shame if something were to happen to that pretty face of hers.

Here's the thing. You and me, we're gonna go, mano y mano. You're gonna have to get into The Darkness Fandom if you really think you're gonna take me on. Oh, and by the way, if I find out you brought any other Society punks with you, And I'll give her a Columbian Necktie!

See you real soon punk, hope you got some face insurance!


Mind ya own business.

Miri's eyes widened quite a bit, and she raced out of the room, heading to the E.R. with panicking cries of Tash's name.

Michael landed in the otherwise barren streets of New York City, and shivered as the chilly, nipped air touched his skin. He tugged his cape closer to his body and looked around from behind his mask. Hand constantly on his sword hilt, he began to walk through the streets.

Michael knew deep down that he needed to be extremely careful in this fandom, not just for the obvious reasons, but mafia hit men ran amok here. One wrong question to the one wrong person, and he'd be peppered full of bullets. Despite all that's happened to the Gary Stu Gutter that sounded FAR from pleasant.
Now, it was all a matter of trying to find this Stu. He merely told him to come to the fandom, nothing after that.

It's so dark here…He thought to himself as he heard a nearby newspaper flutter in the nearby breeze, and a group of leaves spun upon themselves in a small, twister like fashion, and he frowned, If someone were to know where all the people in this town were, who would it…

He blinked, and slapped his forehead.

"I'm an idiot."

And began his search.

"So please, I know I didn't want to do anything regarding going to these lengths, but you have to help me find this guy. He took someone very important from me. Please, Mr. Estacado…"

Jackie Estacado was a very handsome young man, in a very roguish kind of way, he wore a long, black trench coat around his body, complimented by black t-shirt under that and black jeans. He had long, black greasy hair around his head, and was currently smoking a cigarette.

"I can relate to you, kid." Jackie said with a nod of his head, "I've lost someone I love in the same manner, to someone who was out to get me, and hey, I can be a nice guy when I want to be."

He put the remainder of his burned out cigarette in a nearby potted plant, and light up a new one. He held up the box to Michael.

"Want a smoke?"

"Nah," Michael shook his head, holding his hands up, "I don't smoke, nasty habit."

"I don't like smoking either, trust me," he said, taking out a match and lighting the new cigarette, "But if you knew anything about me, you'd want any form of relief you can find…"

Trust me, I know plenty. Michael thought morbidly to himself.

"But yeah, I think I know who coulda taken your girl," he said, taking a long drag from the death stick and blew out a long puff of smoke out. "There's been a lot of talk of this new mafia head that just came in and took over the Franchetti family."

"The one uncle Paulie used to run?" Michael asked.

"The same one," he said with a nod. "Luckily, he moved the whole living quarters from Paulie's old light house and moved it closer. He's just across the street on Old Grinder Lane."

"Thanks, Jackie," Michael said as he stood up, "I know where that is… wish me luck."

"I wish you the best of luck kid, give them hell," Jackie said as he watched Michael vanished. And then a voice hissed into his head…

Humans, Love, Life, it's all so pointless in the end…

"Quiet down," Jackie mumbled back.

Michael stared up at the multistoried building, his hand still on his sword and took a deep breath, walking into the front door and slammed it open. He made for a mad dash to the upper stories.

"Boss!" gasped one of the burlier members as he stood out in front of one of the wooden doors, panting heavily, cries of pain in the other room evident that SOMETHING was going on. "I don't know how much longer we can keep this up! She's tearing us apart in there!"

The Stu was a middle aged handsome man with candy floss like hair that drifted down his shoulders, wearing what appeared to be a thousand dollar suit and far too many rings on his fingers. "You idiots, I told you to tie her down!"

"SHE IS TIED DOWN! I don't even know how she's DOING this!"

He sighed a bit and rubbed his eyes, groaning all the while. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…"

"You're damn right it wasn't!" shouted a voice from the other side of the door, and with a loud schwing sound, the door was cut into splinters, and standing there, holding his sword aloft was a very, very pissed off Michael.

"Ah!" The mob boss grinned and turned over in his chair to see Michael standing there. "Just the psychopath I was looking for."

"And just who the hell do you think you are?" Michael asked as calmly as he could.

"The names Alexander Satino Gram Frachetti the Third. But hey, you can call me Don, for short." He smirked.

"I'd really rather call you dead," he said as he raised his sword…and grunted, the sheer weight of it falling to the ground and imbedding it in the wood floor. He tried to pull it up, but it was FAR too heavy. "What the hell…" Why did it seem so heavy? All the other times, he could lift it with complete ease!

"Ah! I see you're finally experiencing the effects of my little Society Nullifier." Don said with a laugh, pulling out what appeared to be a baseball shaped object, see through with a dark, dark energy orb in the center of it. It was pulsating hard, and the whole object was floating in mid air.

"This is a handy little thing, let me tell you," Don said conversationally as Michael suddenly felt very, very weak. "It manages to take away the powers, skills, strengths of all the society members in the vicinity, which makes you lot a lot weaker than normal." He smirked and forced Michael to look up at him. "You can thank the Stus and Sues engineer for this."

Michael growled a bit. "Where… is… Claire…" he hissed.

"Oh, don't worry kid, she's fine." He smirked as he walked over to the door and opened it to reveal Claire, who was tied up to a chair, surrounded by knocked out gangers. She was growling and shaking in rage. "Gotta say kid, she can do quite a number on my guys, even when she's tied down."

"Michael!" Claire exclaimed in worry.

"Claire…" Michael whispered to her, and reached out, as if that would do anything.

"Oh, don't worry kid, she's free to go," the Don said, shutting the door. "YOU, on the other hand, have some explaining to do regarding my brothers and sisters you lot have captured…"

Michael narrowed his eyes dangerously. "I don't regret doing my job…"

"Oh," Don slid on a pair of spiked brass knuckles onto his own hand, "Don't worry… I'll make sure you will…"

"I don't care what it says!" Tash exclaimed to the others, throwing a rather intense fit. "Someone needs to go in there after him! He's gonna walk RIGHT into a trap!"

Kyle winced as his Omni-Weapon floated beside his head. "I'm sure he can't be in THAT much trouble…"

"Not that much trouble? He's in a BLACK LIST Fandom, being coaxed by another Stu and being lured into an obvious trap!" She shouted. "Either someone goes in there and gets them or I will make it so you all have cat ears. And make your lives HELL!" she hissed dangerously.

All the present Society Members gulped, and finally, Willie took a step forward. "I'll go in," he said with a nod of his head. "Michael's my friend, and I wanna help him the way he's helped me."

"I haven't been in the battle ground for a long time." Kyle said also, turning to face Tash, "I'll go in too."

"And feeling partially responsible for the incident, Camille and I shall assist you," Doyle said with a nod.

"We'll what?" Camille asked, before sighing and rubbing her eyes. "Yeah, fine, we'll go too."

"Guys, I think I got a signal," Marcus said, looking up from the screen they had moved into the E.R. for the sake of Tash and Hati. There was a moment's silence, and the screen turned a thick black, producing Michael's vitals, which, much to their shock, were all ready in the critical zones.

"What?" Miri shouted in worry, "What the hell is doing this that he's all ready this hurt?"

And the picture flashed on, just in time to see Michael get slugged in the face with a spiked brass knuckle and his head thrown to the side, his face horrible battered, bruised, cut, bloody and mangled all ready. His clothing was torn, and there were marks of a fight all over his visible parts of his body. He was shaking, in pain or rage, they couldn't tell.

"Aniki!" Miri shrieked in horror, her hands shooting up to her mouth while her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.

"Why the hell isn't he fighting back!" Willie exclaimed, getting closer to the screen.

Marcus frowned heavily, and his eyes drifted over to the item visible on the desk behind the man beating the tar out of Michael. "My guess is that has something to do with that…" he stared at it intently.

"What are you waiting for?" Tash shouted to them. "He's gonna get killed, hurry!"

Kyle, Willie, Camille and Doyle all raced off at that, time very much a factor.

"Now then," Don said with a playful chuckle, lifting up Michael's chin for him to look into the Stus beady little eyes. "I believe you have two words to tell me and my kind?"

Michael, panting, spit a bit of blood in his face, watching him recoil. He grinned a bit. "Yeah. How does "Bite me" sound?"

Don snarled and slapped his face. "Yo, Johnny, get me the finishing touches on this thing, would you please?"

"Sure thing, boss," he said, racing off. He came back a moment later, holding up a very large sledge hammer. He gave it to Don, who lifted it up with ease.

"Ah yeah, let's see how this place looks redecorated with Society Member brains splattered all over the walls," he laughed and prepared to lift up the weapon.

It all comes down to this, Michael though barely, panting heavily, being forced to look down at the floor again. Do I have what it takes to give up my humanity?

He closed his eyes, and he took a deep breath, thinking of Claire.

She's worth every bit of it…

And swallowed the oneshot he had hidden under his tongue.

The atmosphere changed radically, enough to make Don blinked and stop his movement. "The hell…?" He shrugged. "Ah well, I'm gonna enjoy this!" and brought the weapon down.

The moment he did, however, a hideous creature erupted from Michaels back. At first glance, it was a snake like creature, but its skin was the purest of black, with bright orange lights dotted up and down its side. It caught the handle of the weapon in its mouth, and bit with enough force to snap it in half. Don let go of it in panic and fell back as another snake head snapped in front of his face, with blood stained teeth.

"What the hell is this?" Don screamed in horror.

"The Darkness." Michael hissed in rage to the man who had just put him through the hell like no other. "A very powerful entity centuries old…" Two long, razor sharp tentacles erupted from his back and pierced the ceiling, lifting Michael up as if he were a puppet, while a third went to smashing any form of light in the room. Now in perpetual darkness, they could see Michael's eyes glow a dark orange color, and they didn't like it.
"And I happen to know; when its host is attacked… they get hostile."

He then grinned a very, very dark grin they didn't like in the least.

"Rejoice. For very bad things are about to happen."

And the snake heads and tentacles went to work on the screaming gangsters.


"Freeze! Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society!" Kyle shouted, his Omni-weapon in the form of a sword as he looked around.

The family that had been peacefully eating dinner before the sword wielding man busted their door down screamed and ducked behind the couch. "Take what you will, just don't hurt us!"

"Oh come on!" Willie shouted, grabbing his head with one hand. "This is the fifteenth apartment we've busted down! They have to be around here!"

"Statistically speaking, there's a good twenty three percent chance the next room will be the one." Doyle said, walking past the two of them.

"Meh, too low of a chance but I'll still try it." Camille said, walking over to it and kicked it down. "Freeze! Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society!"

Once more, there was nothing in there but a merely overweight man. He looked up at the odd girl who had kicked his door down, and waved it off. Kill him for all he cared, he was way too comfy.

"Okay, now I'm starting to get a little pissed," Camille sighed.

"Are we even in the right building?" Kyle asked, walking up beside the others. "I mean, really, this is getting monotonous…"

Imagine their shock and surprise when a thick black tentacle shot through the door, piercing a mobster in the chest.

"Get it off, get it off, for the love of god, no!" as he was pulled back into the room, his screaming cut short by a loud gurgling noise, and he was silent.

"Think that's him?" Willie asked after a moment of silence, and all raced to the room. They gasped simultaneously at the blood bath that greeted them.

Blood splattered on the wall like a bad modern art exhibit, in different shapes and styles, and sometimes the body that produced the blood was still there, at the very base of the wall. One of the snake like creature was currently swallowing something bloody and red and beating, and Michael was in the middle of everything.
Michael was panting heavily, his eyes still glowing, but half lidded now.

We have company, young one…

Michael panted and turned around, seeing the four Society members, and he had to smile. "They're fine…they're with me…"

I care not young one… death is death… theirs shall be no different…

Michael frowned. "What on earth are you talking about…?"

You have no say in the matter child… you are not my host… you are my puppet… and their death shall be added to the list…

"What? No!" he gasped, and said nothing more of the matter. His hand grasped tightly at his own head, and he fell to his knees.

Willie frowned. "Michael?" he asked, walking forward. "Are you okay dude? Talk to me…"

"Get… a…way… from… me!" Michael hissed, his vision starting to go dark. "Please… get… a…way!" and he screamed as everything from his view went dark, and he began to transform.

His skin began to go black and dark, almost like armor but it seemed more along the lines of skin. It flowed over his skin like ink, forming into long, black claws at the end of his hands. It flowed over his head until he looked like a smooth skinned, long clawed demon with teeth simply made for rending flesh.

Willie took a small step back, taking this time to grab his jewel studded sword hilt, and frowned. "Michael…?"

The creature that was no longer, let loose a loud shriek and stood up, the black, razor sharp tentacles erupted from his back, and shot for Willie. He parried the blow by pulling out his sword and blocking the razor blade and being pushed back a little bit.

"The hell?" Willie shouted.

The Dark creature let loose a loud shriek, enough to make the windows on the other side of the room splinter and eventually shatter. He stood up and motioned to the window, and the whole room shook. The wall evaporated into pebbles as a massive black hole sucked it away, and Michael, with another snarl, leapt out of the building, using his long tentacles to walk down the wall, with loud, echoing crashes that sent the building shuddering and shaking.

Kyle frowned. "That's bad, that's really bad," he said to the others. Willie and Camille nodded.

"We need to go after him. He's gonna end up hurting people if he stays like that," Willie said, grabbing his sword again and swiping at the air.

"I hear you," Kyle said, as his Omni Weapon formed a suit of bladed armor over his body. "Come on, we don't have a lot of time, I have a very bad feeling about this…"

"Same here…" and both leapt through the hole in the wall.

Camille looked over at Doyle, who had taken to looking about the room. "Aren't you going to go down and join them?"

"I shall in a minute, boss," he said as he walked over to a door, which he found curious, as it had been closed through the whole time they had been there, "I just think it would be common courtesy to get what our friend had come here for."

He opened the door and sitting there, still tied to the chair but took this time to constantly beat a mafia members head over and over with her shoes was Claire. She was panting, as she was sure his nose and a few other things had been broken, and looked up at Doyle and Camille. She grinned. "Hey."

Both of them sweatdropped.

Both Society members dropped with heavy thuds on the ground, which immediately garnered the attention of the corrupt Society member. With a loud hissing snarl, he turned around, still held up by his tentacles dug into the ground as if to steady himself. And in some senses, it was. The darkness snakes on either side of him hisses and snapped at the air.

"Remember, we can't hurt him too much, Michael's still in there," Willie stated, bringing his sword up, as if ready to charge him down.

"I know, I know…" Kyle said and gulped. "I just hope he's thinking the same thing to us."

You poor pitiful human… cooed the Darkness into Michael's conscious, the only part of him that was still left. You think these pathetic mortals care about you… what's to care about? Heh, heh, heh… a group of humans wishing to do the impossible… on a simple NOTE, they turn on you…look at them, preparing to run you down…

Kyle leapt into action first, rushing at Michael, his sword flashing in the light the moon had gratefully allowed the three battlers. Michael's tentacle shot up and blocked blow after blow, but as a result, didn't get enough time to throw his own blows. Michael sneered and sent one of the snake heads at him…

Only for Willie to come in and block that blow with his own sword. The darkness had skin that felt like the strongest form of armor, so it didn't do much but knocked the head off course, but also took some attention from Kyle and onto Willie, who tried to block the blows that the tentacles had been flying to him, break-neck speed and quick flashes were all that showed something was happening, not to mention the loud clanks that sounded from a sword fight, and Willie's struggling grunts.

Your sisters… your brothers… your friends… they shall never forgive you for this horrendous crime… The Darkness snarled to Michael. They shall never trust you… they shall all LEAVE you…

The Darkness Michael finally howled, with such intenseness that all the windows in the general vicinity shattered into small shards, raining across the duelists like a diamond thunder storm. And he just kept screeching.

"What is he doing?" Willie screamed to Kyle, who had taken his Omni Weapon to cover his own ears in agony.

"I don't know! He could be… what's that?" He shouted over the shriek, pointing over to the side where two light blue portals had materialized. Much to their shock, something was CRAWLING out of them. Both were of the same shape, humanoid and standing at a full three feet, with dark, misty skin, pointed faces and glowing yellow eyes. One was simply dressed, a simple vest with a large sledgehammer on his back, the other looked like something from the Vietnam war, with camouflage body suit and a VERY large machine gun on its back.

The one with the Sledgehammer giggled and whipped it out, spinning it above his head as if it weighed no more than a pound, and slammed it into the ground, making a deep crater. "All right!" he cheered, showing his rotting yellow and black teeth. "Let's rock this joint!"

"Mmm…" inhaled the war looking one, "I love the smell of petrol chemicals in the morning!"

"…It's the middle of the night…"

"…GOD I hate you," he grumbled and pulled up his machine gun, pointing it at Kyle. The sledgehammer wielding one skittered over to Willie, his weapon of choice slung over his shoulder.

Humans are such fickle creatures… give them a reason and they war… give them an excuse and they murder… give them a simple little light of reason and they rule over people… and you my puppet are no different. You gave up your humanity… for a girl who will no long love you after she sees the atrocities you have committed against your so-called teammates… such selfishness…

A tentacle shot from the midst of the confusion towards the very distracted Willie, who had barely dodged a swing from the very heavy sledge hammer, but before he met his mark, Doyle landed in front of the tentacle, holding a fencing sword in front of him and parried the blow. The android gave the darkness infested Michael a hard look, and prepared himself for the next blow.

He proved to be quite fast, as he blocked every blow with ease, even getting close enough to swipe Michael across the cheek with his sword. He howled in agony, his head snapping to the side to see Camille, cheering on Doyle, and Claire, who looked horrified.

Look how frightened she is of you… do you finally see how useless your life is? Everyone shall fear you…everyone you cared for shall dessert you… your life… your dreams… your hopes… all shot with the one mistake of accepting me… your life is a lie… people cared about you on pity only…

Kyle threw a punch to the dark creature and blew it into wisps of darkness, while Willie easily decapitated his own opponent. Doyle was still holding his own against the demented Gary Stu Gutter, and Willie and Kyle both jumped in at his side, their combined tactics more than enough to start pushing their way through the swiping tentacles, gaining ground on Michael, who began to back away, seemingly more nervous than before.

It seems the one you called Blake is right… you truly ARE a monster…

That made Michael pause and think about it in horror. That momentary pause in the midst of a three way sword battle would prove to be his downfall, as all three of the Society members, reluctantly mind you, all swiped the Shadow Michael with their swords. The creature that had once been Michael shrieked and flew back by the combined strike of swords, and skidded to the ground.

"Michael, come on, snap out of it…" Willie said, wincing at the thought of striking one of his friends. Kyle was panting, but Doyle looked ready for anything.

Submit to me, child… You haven't any other choice… submit… submit!

Michael howled a horrible howl, and more razor sharp tentacles erupted from his back. He threw both of his hands forward above the three of them, and snarled. Much to their own surprise, a massive black hole began to form over the three of them. The wind kicked and blew around them as all forms of loose debris were pulled towards the hole to nothingness.

"Brace yourself," Doyle said as he began to walk forward, in an attempt to fight the current of the Black Hole. Doyle and Willie, however, had to resort to slamming their swords into the ground as an anchor. Camille and Claire gripped a tree near by. Claire continued to look at Michael, her eyes tearing up.


Yes! Yes! Beautiful destruction! Wonderful death! Submit, child, submit! YOU…

Doyle, Willie and Kyle began to loose their footing, and began to slip. No one else noticd it was raining.


Doyle began to slide back towards the Black Hole, as did Kyle and Willie, their swords digging deep gouges in the ground. Claire began to fight her way towards Michael…


A pair of delicate arms wrapped around the black creatures chest, and much to the Darkness' own surprise, it was Claire!

What? Release me, you annoying human! You cannot save him, he is mine!

That was when the bolt of lightning struck down between the two fighting parties, and the darkness let out another loud shriek that was far worse than when it had beem summoning the darklings. The darkness was evaporating as the entire area was filled with sickeningly bright white light, and as the black, armored skin peeled away to reveal Michael's skin.

Nooooooo! It screamed in agony as the last bit of darkness was vaporized from Michael's person, and all that was remaining is the Gary Stu Gutter.

The Black Hole disappeared as the Darkness did, so Doyle, Willie and Kyle stopped struggling. All three panted, and Camille ran over to Doyle.

"Are you okay?"

"As okay as I'm gonna get, boss," He said with an affirmative nod of his head, "But…what about…?"

All three looked worriedly in the direction of Michael, was had fallen to his knees, his girlfriend still attached to him from behind, all the while, Michael whimpered and sobbed about how sorry he was…

"And he's been in there for the past few hours, locked himself in," Claire mumbled to Miri, staring at the door that led to the room that she and Michael shared. "He won't come out…"


"I'm… gonna go check up on her," Miri said as she gave Claire one final hug. "I promise it'll all be okay…"

"I hope, Miri…" she whispered as she hugged the younger girl in return, cuddling softly.


"Tash, calm down or I'm going to glue you to the bed!" Miri shouted as she walked in.


A moment of silence reigned in the room, and Tash gave a small, shuddering whimper. She wiped away a few stray tears that had fallen down her cheeks as a result of her rant, and she fell back against the bed.

"Tash?" Miri asked as she scurried forward. "Are you okay?" she sat down beside her.

"They all really scared me," she whispered softly, "I really thought we were gonna lose him… he nearly died," she sniffed softly, "I'm just… relieved he's okay…"

Miri wrapped both of her arms around her older sister like figure. "We all are, Aneki… we all are…"

Michael had finished installing the floodlights around his room. He knew the Darkness wasn't gone, not by a long shot. A simple thing like a bright flash of lightning wasn't going to take out the Darkness, no sir. The entire room was absolutely blinding, and he found himself on his bed.

He had hurt so many of his friends… who didn't even do anything… he gave up his own humanity, but it was worth it… Claire was ALWAYS worth it…

Seems as though we're in this for the long run, child… as I said… you're far more than a host… a puppet more like it…you're mine…

Michael glared at the ceiling. "Not likely, you parasite. I'll learn to control you… I swear I will. I'm not a puppet…"

Believe what you will child… you know your fate to be true…

Michael blocked the voice out, and stared down at the ground. The events of the day coursed through his head. So he took a deep breath, buried his face in his hands, and whimpered pathetically.

Things were going to be very different for the Gary Stu Gutter…

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Insert Randomly-Numbered Diclonius Here

Kate flicked between the screens on the monitor before her. Fandoms flashed by at a rapid speed, before settling on one that she liked. She sat back, with her mug of Yorkshire tea, and prepared for a show. She loved eavesdropping on her favourite characters. It made time go by far quicker when on the watch for Mary-Sues.

In the next room she could hear frantic footsteps and yells, suggesting that someone was currently being chased. There was a loud 'ooomph!' and the sounds of a struggle.


"Let me go!"

"That's my cupcake Hati!"

"Tash, do not poke my flab!"

"You don't have flab, now give me my cupcake!"

"Help! Assault!"

No one ever said that the two Anti-Cliche and Mary-Sue Elimination Society leaders were mature, nor (heaven forbid) that they should act their age. So with a shake of her head, and a chuckle, Kate ignored the commotion and focused in her fandom.

No sooner had she taken a sip of her drink, when the screen suddenly turned red, and an alert message flashed up, cutting off her entertainment. Grumbling under her breath in Welsh, she typed away at the keyboard, and as soon as she received the fandom name, she immediately gulped.

"Um Tash," she called into the next room. "You might wanna see this!"

At this point the name of the identified Sue popped up, and Kate's mug of tea went crashing to the floor.

"Yeah... you definitely want to see this."


Kohta looked up from the chiming clock, and turned his head towards the figure silhouetted in the gateway. It was definitely a woman, and the form was so familiar to him... it couldn't be... he was sure she had vanished for good...

The figure moved to open the gate, and Kohta realised he was wrong about one thing.

She wasn't alone.

"Kohta!" Nyu dashed across the courtyard, her childishness evident in the delighted tone of her voice. She buried her face into the stunned young man's shoulder, mumbling her happiness into his shirt.

"Nyu..." she crooned. Kohta's eyes went wide, as he focused on the top of her head. Where her horns had been, they were no longer there, both of them snapped right off close to her scalp, leaving only two jagged bumps where the protrusion had sprouted.

Kohta's mind struggled to process thought. She had lost both her horns? He had seen her on the steps overlooking the beach with only one horn, but he hadn't quite registered then. There had been far more important things on his mind...

And that hadn't been Nyu anyway, he reminded himself. That had been Lucy on the steps... telling him that her purpose was to kill humans... that he had been the only reason she had endured captivity for so long... for the chance to tell him she was sorry.

His instinctive reaction was to hug her – after all, she was Nyu – the strange horned girl who had wandered into his life, and whom he now felt an unhealthy attraction to. But then there was her other side...

Then there was Lucy.

He had told her that he couldn't forgive her. And even now, when he was so thrilled that she was alive, that she had come home, he still couldn't forgive her. She had hurt him too much. She had killed his father... ripped his head right off... she had killed Kanae... sweet little Kanae...

But this wasn't Lucy. Not right now. This was Nyu. Though they were the same, it wasn't right of him to blame Nyu for the death of his father and sister. He cared too much for Nyu... and yet he loved Lucy too... What could he do but love them both?

"Its alright," a beautiful voice seemed to soothe him from nowhere. "Its alright to love them both. Kanae would understand..."

Giving in to the beautiful voice that sounded so right, Kohta wrapped his arms around Nyu and hugged her tight.

"Kohta..." Yuka had come to investigate, and stopped just at the doorstep, her shoes already on. She froze, her face conflicted for just the briefest second... and then it passed as though someone had been by with a cloth and just wiped it off, replacing it with a gleaming smile.

"Nyu!" she cried. Nyu let go of Kohta, and with a chirrup of her namesake, she glomped Yuka, beaming widely.

Only then did Kohta turn his attention to the newcomer.

One thing was apparent immediately. She was a diclonius. Her horns stood proudly through a mass of silky auburn hair (which struck Kohta as odd, because all the diclonii he had seen had hair in varying shades of pink). Her eyes were red, and radiated sorrow and pain that had accumulated over a hard lifetime. She wore a pretty dark blue dress, which revealed a slight amount of cleavage, black leggings, which hugged slender legs, and black slip-on shoes around dainty looking feet. She was completely stunning.

"She's happier now," the young woman said, stepping forwards slowly, so as not to alarm anyone. "It's a good thing I arrived at the bridge in time to rescue her from the firing squad."

"Umm... are you one of Nyu's friends?" Kohta asked, curiously, blinking very slowly at the beautiful young woman. A small tinge of pink touched her high cheekbones.

"Yes. My name is..."


"Willowe Diamond Allisonette Ravenne Hyacinth Aurelia Sakurelle Dewdrop Arwennia Heliotrope Sandriline Delilah Aphrodite Bob Yuffiana Swainsona Vipertooth Foxblade the Third," Tash muttered in a dark voice.

"Is it me?" Hati asked, tipping her head to one side in a curious manner (she still had a smudge of butter icing on her cheek, but she was plus one cupcake so all was right with the world). "Or is her name getting progressively longer?"

"How a name get longer if she's the third of it?" someone asked.

"It's a running gag," Aster shrugged, "Blame the author writing this."

Immediately the Library was rocked by an earthquake so powerful that books slid off the shelves, and Kate's newly replaced mug of tea went crashing to the floor again, causing the Welsh girl to howl with misery (it was a waste of good tea!). The shockwaves subsided after about twenty seconds, by which time, piles of books littered the floor, and one of the smaller bookshelves had been upended, revealing one of Adrian's unplundered stashes of pocky.

"ASTER!" Hati roared, rounding on the usually hyper agent. "We've told you about this before! Breaking the fourth wall while inside the Library is DANGEROUS!"

"Kyaa~..." Aster pouted, but kept quiet from this point onwards, as Adrian's voice suddenly ripped through the library.

"WHO'S BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL AND MESSING UP MY LIBRARY?" he demanded. Sensibly, no one answered his question.

"I knew giving him a megaphone so he could call us from his bed was a bad idea..." Tash muttered, in between typing commands into the computer and munching on a stick of cream flavoured pocky. "So what info do we have on our little Mary-Sue this time?"

"She's a diclonius," Kate said in a dark voice, as a picture of Willowe flashed onto the screen. "I count a total of ten vectors, each with a range of... five metres."

Tash swore under her breath, while everyone else just sat there with this information going right over their heads.

"Ready to go?" Hati asked, causing everyone to start.

"Wait, WHAT?" Miriku demanded. "Are you insane? Elfen Lied is on the Black list!"

"Adrian will kill you!" Michael added.

"From a hospital bed?" Hati snickered. "I'd like to see him try!"

"People get their limbs ripped off in this fandom," Kate reminded her, her face paling dramatically at the thought. "And that's if you're lucky not to die or get infected!"

"People get their body parts pulled off in this world?" Michael demanded, looking ill.

"Why do you think it's on the Black list?" Kate asked. "It would be very easy to be brutally murdered! In the anime, about fifty people are dead within the first seven minutes!"

"We are taking Oneshots," Tash soothed. "We will be fine. We'll bring Willowe in, and get out of there before we get hurt."

And without another word, she hurried out of the room. Hati followed before anyone could stop her (the icing still present on her cheek).

"I hope they know what they're doing..." Miriku muttered. Kate meanwhile, had picked up the phone and was dialling a familiar number.

"Emma? It's Kate. Best standby, I don't think this mission will end happily..."


It was mid afternoon when Hati and Tash arrived on the beach of Kamakura, finding it completely deserted – luckily for them. As soon as the plot hole had closed up, both of them tipped their heads back and swallowed identical pills. A second later they both doubled over clutching the sides of their heads, as bone swelled and pushed outwards, leaving them with a pair of horns each, sticking out from beneath their hair.

"Ow..." Hati muttered. "Do they all hurt like that?"

"No," Tash shook her head, slowly. "Oneshots aren't painful. That was just a side effect of the horns..." Practising gently, she felt a strange sensation around her back, and grinned as she saw two transparent arms stretch out around her. Hati gave a yell and fell backwards into the sand.

"Excellent," Tash muttered. "We've both got vectors now..." She frowned slightly. "Though it seems we only have two, and our range isn't great..." Sure enough, the arms only reached two metres before they were unable to go any further. "Oh well. I suppose its some way of helping us against Willowe..."

"So that's what you were talking about earlier," Hati said, stretching her own extra hands experimentally. "Vectors are these... invisible arms?"

"Yup," Tash nodded. "They can cut through just about anything... even a human body."

It suddenly occurred to Tash that Hati was not familiar with this fandom and it might be a good idea to explain a few things.

"Three rules," she said briefly. "One, try and keep out of range of Willowe's vectors. Two, watch out for other Diclonii, particularly Lucy. And three, under no circumstances let anyone's vectors touch your head."

Hati frowned, as they started walking up the beach. "Any particular reason why?"

"The lobe of the brain that controls the vectors is located here," Tash touched her forehead. "If a vector comes into contact with it, it'll freeze your arms... and there's worse..."

"Worse?" Hati asked, looking anxious. Tash nodded.

"If a Queen diclonius, like Lucy, uses her vectors on us... we become carriers for the virus..."


"See... I know they're in a really dangerous fandom," Miriku said slowly, before her eyes went sparkly. "But they both look so adorable with horns!"

No one else commented. Their eyes were all fixed on the screen, where the two Society heads were displayed, alongside a list of their vital signs, and a full readout of Willowe's activities.

"Hey," Michael looked around suddenly. "Where did she go?"

"Where did who go?" Kate asked, at the same time Marcus stepped into the room, curious as to what had his friends gathered around the monitor looking as though they had come to a funeral.

"Marcus," Michael turned to the fellow agent. "Did you see Aster on your way here?"

Marcus nodded in recognition. "Yeah she was heading to ER."

"What?" Miriku, Michael and Kate demanded, sending Marcus leaping backwards in alarm and slamming his elbow into a bookshelf. At the same time, the magnified voice of an angered Librarian erupted throughout the Library.



It was all going perfectly, Willowe thought smugly.

She had finally found a fandom where she could lie low. A fandom where no one could harm her. A fandom where she could actually plan for her next move against the Society.

It had been so easy, convincing these fools that she was a diclonius that had been trapped in the same facility as Lucy and Nana. Saving Lucy from the bridge, had been a pinch, despite the firing squad that had been positioned at one end. Though admittedly the diclonius had lost her second horn in the process, at least she was still alive. And by the time Willowe had stopped to check on her, Lucy had regressed back into her mind, leaving only Nyu to hug her and look all worried and confused, like the scared young girl she was.

Convincing the household that she was an orphan, who had seen some unspeakable things in her life, and was currently living in fear of being caught and locked away (which was true to some degree) had been easy. They had eaten it right up. It helped that Kohta had a natural desire to help young girls in trouble. Yuka had agreed immediately too – with the jealousy she suffered sometimes, it was easy for Willowe's powers to win her over. Mayu was fairly simple too, warming to the beautiful stranger immediately because of her tragic past.

Only Nana looked slightly doubtful. Willowe had to admit, this was surprising, but she should have expected that it might happen. Nana was a diclonius after all, and though Willowe had gained the appearance of a diclonius, right down to the horns, her aura was slightly off...enough that Nana could sense it, the same as any diclonius, but not quite the same, which was raising some doubts in the young girl.

Willowe shook her long hair over her shoulders. Nothing to worry about. She would win over Nana eventually. And unlike previous fandoms, the Society would never come looking here...


Willowe's jaw dropped, revealing a perfect set of even white teeth. It couldn't be!

"A bit louder Tash, I don't think Antarctica heard you," Hati looked exasperated, before turning her green eyes on Willowe, who had got to her feet in alarm. Everyone around the table was also staring.

"Who are you two?" Kohta demanded. There were too many visitors today! First Nyu had come back, along with this incredibly beautiful and mysterious diclonius named Willowe, and now these two? They were not half as beautiful as the aforementioned young woman, and the expressions on their faces mirrored each other in dislike of the one they were seeking. Only the fact that they had clearly visible horns on the top of their heads warranted them a second glance.

"We are the Anti-Cliche and Mary-Sue Elimination Society," Tash proclaimed, striking a pose, and totally failing to look cool in any sense.

"And you're under arrest Willowe!" Hati finished, jabbing a finger at the Sue, whose face was hidden behind her long hair.

"I don't believe it..." she muttered, taking both Society agents by surprise. They had expected Willowe to make one of her usual speedy getaways. Instead she was just standing in the middle of the room, her head bowed and her voice incredibly calm and melodic.

"I don't believe you found me so quickly..." the Sue whispered, before raising her head. Her pupils had all but vanished, and her eyes now had a hooded look. "But I'm glad you did, for now I have the power to destroy you and make you pay for what you've done to me and my sisters!"

Hati and Tash took hasty steps backwards in alarm, as Willowe exploded out of the window towards them. She jerked to an abrupt halt though, as another set of vectors wrapped around her body and stopped her in mid air. "Wha..."

Nana was glaring fiercely, her vectors firmly in place at Willowe's slim waist. Beside her, Lucy had taken over from Nyu, but none of her vectors were visible.

"Of course!" Tash thought, her eyes snapping to Lucy's barely visible horn stumps. "Lucy doesn't have her horns at this point in this world! She can't use her vectors until they grow back!"

Hati however, had arrived at another conclusion, and seized her friend's wrist.

"Move!" she shouted, dragging her away, but Tash had other ideas, slamming her two vectors into the ground and pushing herself up over the hedge and far away. Hati blinked slowly, before catching on and following.

"Why are we running?" Tash demanded, as soon as her friend had caught up. They half ran, half jumped over buildings and low hedges.

"Willowe won't run away!" Hati warned.

"How do you know?" Tash asked. The brunette gave her a dread filled look.

"Because in this fandom she actually has the power to kill us, once and for all!"


Willowe smirked as the two Society agents ran like frightened children.

"So...Oneshot produced vectors. With a range of two metres each..." she muttered, her own vectors appearing. "This will be easy."

"Willowe, where are you going?" Nana demanded.

"What will you do to them?" Lucy asked urgently, her eyes narrowed at the Sue. She didn't like this girl. She hadn't done from the minute she had been ripped off the bridge away from the firing squad...mind you, Lucy didn't really like anyone that much...except Kohta.

Willowe just smiled sweetly.

"I'm going to avenge my sisters," she said simply, before pushing her vectors against the ground, and springing into a graceful jump. Too late, Nana's vector shot out, trying to reach her mind and disable the lethal telepathic arms, but she was too slow, and Willowe was quickly out of range, the beautiful smile being replaced by a far more deadly one.

"And its time I made Harriet pay..."


"WAAAA!" Tash screamed, her vector misjudging the ground, and sending her tumbling onto the stone, grazing her jaw badly, and sending her skirt flying over her head. Hati landed nearby and couldn't stop herself from giggling.

"I see London, I see France, I see Tashy's underpants!"

Tash rolled her eyes. "Wouldn't be the first time..." She was about to tell her friend to stop quoting parody, when she caught sight of the figure closing in fast behind her. "Heads up!"

Hati threw herself to the side just as Willowe came landing on top of one of the stone monuments that littered the park. Tash realised that they were in the very same place that Nana and Lucy had had their first fight. Indeed she was standing about the same place where Lucy had ripped off Nana's limbs, leaving the younger girl bleeding to death. Definitely not a good omen.

"I've waited a long time to have the power to kill you both," Willowe smiled at them. "And now that's exactly what I've got."

From her back sprouted ten vectors, each waving slightly in anticipation, itching to wrap themselves around a leg and pull, severing it from the rest of the body...or worse, squeezing a neck until the owner turned blue.

Tash flinched.

"Whatever we do," she thought. "We mustn't let those vectors touch us any longer than necessary...that virus won't just affect us, but any children we plan to have."

Willowe took a step forwards. Remembering the advice she had been given, Hati took a hasty step backwards, making sure to keep more than five metres away. Willowe giggled.

"Aww how sweet," she said. "You're trying to stay out of my range!" Abruptly her eyes narrowed and she hissed, "But it won't work!"

One of the stones behind Tash suddenly rose into the air, and slammed into her from behind, sending her sprawling onto the ground again. Hati gave a scream of rage, and charged, one of her vectors raising into a fist. Willowe just smiled, and calmly blocked it with two of her own, before sending a third to punch her attacker in the stomach. Hati doubled over coughing.

"Was that the best you can do?" Willowe taunted. One of Tash's vectors whipped around and knocked her feet out from underneath her, sending the Sue tumbling backwards. Much to Hati and Tash's annoyance, she still managed to look graceful even when falling.

"That hurt!" Willowe hissed, jumping back up and sending her vectors flying, four at Tash, four at Hati, and the other two protecting herself. Hati pushed herself high into the air with her own extra limbs, while Tash attempted to block with her own vectors. She stopped three of the arms, but the others slammed into her from all sides, battering her arms and head.

Willowe smirked, but she had completely taken her attention off Hati, who now hovered somewhere above her, balancing in mid-air on one of her vectors. The leader raised the other vector and sent it slicing towards Willowe's throat. The Sue turned into an elegant spin, the deadly limb leaving a shallow cut on the side of her neck.

"Aim for the forehead!" Tash shouted to her friend, as she got to her feet. Willowe just wiped the blood away, her eyes narrowing at Harriet, and her vectors exploding towards her. Hati's free vector rose to protect her face, while her other pushed off from the ground, propelling her towards the Sue. Tash's own vectors slammed into Willowe's, side on, and knocking them out of the way.

"We've got her," Hati thought, her left vector flying towards Willowe's forehead. The Sue was not out of tricks though, and performed a perfect spinning kick, catching Hati in the ribs and sending her skidding along the ground.

"She can kickbox?" Tash thought in alarm, before snorting at her own stupidity. "What am I talking about? She's a Sue. Of course she can kickbox!"

"Which limb first...?" Willowe mused aloud, pinning Hati down with four of her vectors, a fifth one looming over her, threatening to sever one of much needed limbs. Hati's ribs ached, and she was panicking inside, but strangely her body was not responding to the sudden adrenalin rush.

"Get up! Get up!" her mind screamed.

A rustle from the trees was all the warning Willowe got, before Tash's foot came out of nowhere and kicked her squarely in the back of the head. She had seized a nearby branch with one of her vectors and used it to pull herself into the air and launch an attack while the Sue's back was turned. She smirked as Willowe fell to her hands and knees.

"I'm no Adrian, but that was still a boot to the head!" she proclaimed proudly. "Or a shoe to the head I guess..."

"Enough!" Willowe screamed, her vectors pushing her into the air with astonishing speed and force. Tash barely had time to look alarmed before another two vectors flew at her, seized her around the throat and slammed her backwards into the tree trunk.

"Can't... breathe..." Tash's vision swam, blood roaring in her ears.

"That's the idea," Willowe hissed, squeezing harder. "Cry for me..." she whispered. "Scream..." She was trembling in anticipation. "I've waited so long for this..."


In any other situation, watching Adrian hobble around, using his staff as a crutch would have been amusing. But now was really not the time to be having a laugh at the Librarian's expense, particularly when he was so angry that the security he had placed around the Black listed fandoms had been broken – yet again. Truthfully he hadn't been this agitated since Tash had stolen a spell book and given him kitty ears for a day.

"I can't watch," Miriku said, burring her face into Michael's left shoulder (Claire had already claimed the
right). Kate had long since vanished from the computer, meeting with Emma and Beth to go pull Tash and Hati out at Adrian's insistence. Marcus and Valerie were now manning the computers, with mounting grave looks on their faces.

"Heart rate and blood pressure rising," Valerie warned, flicking through the vital signs of the two agents. "Tash can't keep this up much longer."

"I think Willowe's kick broke Hati's ribs," Marcus reported, before glaring at the screen. "Since when was she this powerful?"

"She always has been," Adrian said grimly. "She's just been waiting until she got to a fandom where she would have the right sort of power."

Claire got to her feet, determination radiating off her, despite how terrified they all were. "Come on Miri, let's go set up ER. We're really going to need it."


Hati knew that Tash shouldn't be alive. Those vectors were perfectly capable of slicing through her friend's neck, cutting her flesh and severing her spine neatly. The only reason that wasn't happening was because Willowe wanted to see them suffer first.

The Sue hovered before Tash, her vectors still firmly squeezing around her throat, turning her victim's lips blue. Tash's eyes were half closed, and every limb felt as though it had been filled with lead as it was cut off from much needed oxygen.

"I can't move..." she thought in weak despair. Even thinking was making her tired now.

Hati half crawled, half stumbled towards Willowe, feeling her ribs grind in a way that she was sure they weren't supposed to be doing. She was out of range of her vectors right now, but if she could just get close enough...

"No screaming?" Willowe asked, in disappointment. "What's the matter Tash? You're usually so vocal..."

Tash's arm slid slowly off where Willowe's vector was choking her, unable to support its weight any longer. Another vector quickly pinned it to the tree.

"You're no fun if you don't scream," Willowe shook her head. Her eyes had taken on a savage quality as they locked with Tash's glazed blue ones. "Did my sisters scream when you dragged them from their fandoms and locked them in your basement? Did they?"

She was breathing heavily now. "I could just stay here until you turn completely blue," she whispered enthusiastically. "Or I could rip your limbs off, one by one..." Her grin turned even more sadistic. "Or I could infect you right here and now...oh yes," she added, seeing what was left of coherency in Tash's mind, register just what had been said. "I'm a queen diclonius. Infecting you would be easy! In fact, why don't I show you?"

The deadly arm shot forwards, and Hati acted, her vector swooping up between Willowe's eyes and jamming itself neatly into her forehead. Willowe gave a gasp of surprise, as her vectors suddenly vanished, sending her and Tash plummeting to the ground. Willowe landed gracefully on both feet. Tash dropped like a stone, landing at the base of the tree, one of her leg bones cracking under the force of landing first. She lay in a dishevelled heap, unconscious and unresponsive.

"My vectors..." Willowe sounded panicked. "They won't come out!" She rounded on Hati, venom in every inch of her perfect face, and brought her hand down on the leader's cheek with a loud crack.

"I hate you!" the Sue screamed, tears filling her eyes and making them sparkle as she rained slap after slap down on Hati's face. "I hate you! Why? Why do make me so weak? Why can't you just leave me alone? WHY HARRIET?"

Hati's cheeks were glowing red, and her lip had split from where one of Willowe's rings had caught it. She seized the Sue by the shoulders with her vectors, to halt the assault. All of her limbs, excluding her vectors, ached like she had run a marathon and her ribs pained her worse than ever.

"You're my responsibility," she informed her in a low voice. Willowe's laughter was slightly hysterical by this point.

"That's not an excuse for all that you've done to me!" she shouted. "My whole life! And it's all your fault!"

She struggled against the vectors holding her back. Hati did not move. She had slumped against the ground, leaving her extra limbs to restrain the raging Sue from doing any more damage. She couldn't move without making her ribs worse. The Sue kicked and screamed, but it was no use. Without the use of her vectors, she was just a human with horns.

"She's right..." Hati thought. "It's all my fault..."

She thought she was hallucinating when gunshots went off over her head, and Willowe gave another scream, this time of pain, rather than anger. The bullets had grazed her shoulder and leg, ripping gashes in her flesh. Emma, Beth and Kate stood five metres away, holding guns that they had pinched from the Torchwood fandom.

"Say your prayers Sue!" Beth shouted, as they fired again. Willowe performed a ridiculously graceful half twirl, half gymnastics move that miraculously caused her to dodge all the bullets, and with a rip of the space/time continuum, she had vanished through a hastily summoned plot hole.

Hati didn't even notice that she was passing out. The commotion and voices faded into one mess of noise, until she finally gave into her body's urges and relaxed into unconsciousness.



"...on the bed..."


"...get that blood tested..."


"...ribs need setting..."


"...close really. Hati had her by the shoulders..."

"...really intense fight..."

"What do you think Willowe was screaming about at the end?"

"Who knows?"

Tash felt like her throat was full of candy floss. Her head was fuzzy and for some reason, looking at the ceiling tiles made her feel nauseas. She tried to speak, but nothing came out except a noise that sounded like a cross between a creaking gate, and a sheep bleating in distress.

"Hey! Sleeping Beauty is awake!"

That was Michael's voice. Vaguely, Tash could just make out Kate and Beth's frizzy hair hovering over her bed.

"Are you okay Tashy?"

That was Miriku.


"I'll take that as a no," Miriku sounded sad. "Poor Aneki..."

Tash weakly turned her head, to see about half of the Society surrounding her. She swallowed thickly (the candy floss in her throat had now thickened to the consistency of a sponge) and tried to speak again.

"...Ha – ti.."

"She's okay," Claire soothed, nodding at the bed next to them. Sure enough, Hati was sleeping peacefully, a bandage on her head and her cheeks bruised.

"Hey Tash," now it was Marcus hovering over the bed, an excited grin on his face. "Adrian says that when you're on these painkillers I can ask you whatever I want and you'll feel compelled to tell the truth!"

"...bollocks..." Tash muttered, causing several people to grin – if she could curse, she was fine.

"So do tell me," Marcus drawled. "Who do you really think is the hottest? Ryou or Bakura?"

Tash had answered before she could even roll her eyes. "Bakura."

Marcus deflated. "Weirdo..." he proclaimed flatly. Tash stuck her tongue out at him.

"Oooh Tashy! Where can the best Darkshipping fluff be found?" Miriku asked, an enthusiastic smile lighting up her face.

"I don't know," Tash said, her voice slowly returning to its normal pitch and tone. "I skip the fluff and go straight for the smexing."

Miriku's shoulders slumped. It was clear from the expression on Tash's face that the last two questions had sent her mind plummeting into the gutter, and so Michael, looking for a distraction, asked the first question that popped into his head.

"Who's the better duellist, me or Blake?"

"You," Tash answered immediately. Michael cheered, and Blake just scowled at the pair of them. Tash interrupted casually. "But Miri and I could kick both your asses without breaking a sweat."

Miriku blushed heavily, and tried to hide under the bed.

"We'll see about that later," Michael smirked.

"Who do you think the most attractive girl in the Society is?" Jess grinned impishly.

"Harriet." By now, it was Tash's cheeks that were flaming. "That woman has the breasts of a Greek goddess."

Everyone's heads turned to look at the other patient – and they all blushed when they realised that said patient was awake.

"Why are you all staring at my breasts?" Hati demanded, not sounding disturbed at all. Everyone turned their heads away, blushing. "Stare away," Hati invited. "It's quite flattering."

"Okay, you've all had some fun at my expense now," Tash sighed, sounding exactly like her normal self. "Would someone give us a damage report? I'm assuming Willowe got away, hence why we're so beat up?"

"Yeah, as soon as we arrived she opened a plot hole and vanished," Emma said sadly, taking a grape from the fruit bowl and spitting it out. "Adrian, these grapes are off."

"That's because they're plastic ones," the Librarian sighed. The group parted, allowing Hati and Tash to see Adrian in his own bed on their other side. Both girls cringed.

"Are we in trouble?" Tash asked, fearfully.

"For hacking my system, yes," Adrian assured them. "But I suppose I can't really yell at you for running into a dangerous fandom – that would make me a giant hypocrite. As for damage; bruises, busted lip, grazed jaw, broken ribs and a broken leg. Neither of you are moving from your beds."

Sure enough, Tash could see her left leg was in plaster, and Hati could feel bandages around her lower chest. The former looked alarmed suddenly.

"Did anyone check..."

"We did a full blood count," Emma soothed. "You're both clear of the diclonius virus."

"Thank the Gods," Tash muttered. Hati slumped back against the pillows, annoyance registering on her face.
"I suppose I'd better get started on the mission report..."

"No you don't," Miriku said firmly.

"Yeah, you're supposed to be resting!" Claire added.

"But it'll all reproduce if it's not done," Tash protested. "And you know it's the height of paperwork breeding season."

"Regardless," Marcus said. "I'm sure the Society, and the Library won't fall apart while all of you rest."

He spoke too soon. No sooner had this been said, when the Library began to shake again. People struggled to keep their feet, and the fruit bowl tumbled off the table with a crash. Pretty soon, the walls and floor stopped shaking, and everyone got slowly to their feet.

"ASTER!" Adrian bellowed through his megaphone (which he appeared to have produced out of thin air). "I know you're doing it on purpose now!"