Insert Priceless Kodak Moment Here

"Emily..." Adrian said, nervously adjusting his fourteenth trenchcoat of the day, "A-Are you sure about this? I don't do terribly well with photos..."

Tash and Lauren exchanged a look, then smirked back at the Librarian mischievously. "Did I just hear the ever-so-eloquent Librarian stutter?" Tash mocked playfully.

One of Adrian's ears twitched. "I don't like having my picture taken."

"Of course I'm sure!" Emily said happily. "I can't believe you guys have never thought to take a group photo of the Society before this!"

The Chief agent was still staring at the kitty-eared Librarian. "Are you pouting?" she asked incredulously.

Adrian scowled. "I don't pout."

"Whether you do or don't," Lauren giggled, "Just don't do it for the picture."

-

At the far end of the room, another argument was going on.

"For goodness sake, Terrie!" Valerie said, frustrated. "Just pick an outfit and stick with it!"

"But what if I clash with the person standing next to me!" said brunette whined. "I'd never live it down!" She slipped behind the door into an unused hallway, and almost instantly reappeared in a completely different outfit. "How does this one look?"

Chloe, who was standing nearby, leaned over to Monika and whispered, "How does she do that again?"
Monika shook her head, amused. "We're still trying to figure that out..."

-

"Ben! Kyle!" Camille called with a wave.

The two requested agents trotted over to the techie, who wass kneeling by a pile of wood and scaffolding. "Yeah?"

"I need some dumb muscle to help me put this together, and thought you two would be perfect for the job!" Camille said with a bright smile, completely unaware of the insult she had just delivered.

The two boys visibly bristled. "Who're you calling dumb?" Kyle demanded.

"I'll have you know that I'm just as smart as you!" Ben declared dramatically. "Maybe even smarter! I could be as smart as a supercomputer for all you - ow! Shirley, what was that for?"

The aforementioned Cliché Stick ceased whacking her partner over the head long enough to say, "Do you even have to ask?"

Doyle simply sighed and continued sorting the scaffolding pieces. Honestly, he would never understand humans.

-

"It's not a sword, it's called a katana. It's an ancient masterpiece, the result of hundreds of years worth of practice and perfecting the art of forging. It-"

"It can only hit one person at a time. Christoph, if you're in a war-zone, you need to have modern weapons, or you're just asking to get killed. You think people are gonna fight you one-on-one just because you ask them to?"

The ninja scowled. "There is such a thing as a code of honor, Lord Douglas."

"Will you two give it a rest already?" Willie, who was leaning against the wall nearby, rolled his eyes. "God, you fight like a pair of synchronized swimmers, but in an argument you never agree. Have you two ever tried timing how long you guys can go at it?" He showed them the stopwatch on his wrist, and they were both (finally) left speechless.

-

"Has anyone seen Ria?" Emily asked as she wove through the crowd, checking off names.

"Me?" Rhia raised her hand.

"No, I got you already. But there's a person named 'Ria' on my list who's not here yet."

Aster's eyes widened in terror. "You mean there's someone missing from the flight manifest, kyaa~?"

Rhia sighed and patted the blue-haired fae on the shoulder gently. "You've got it backwards, dearie..."

Thought Marcus timidly raised a hand. "I-I b-bel-lieve R-Ria is w-working on m-m-making an OC t-t-to j-joi-join the S-S-Society i-inst-stead of i-ins-serting hers-self."

Emily looked up at the blue-clad version of Marcus. "So she's not here then?"

"N-No, I d-d-don't b-believe s-so."

The young demi-Sue made a small mark on her clipboard, then looked Thought Marcus up and down. "You should probably find Emotion Marcus and fuse together again. It's going to be hard enough to squeeze everyone into a single shot as it is without an extra person."

Thought Marcus nodded politely, then went off to find his counterpart.

-

"YOU FOUR SHOULD TOTALLY GO ON A DOUBLE DATE! IT'D BE PERFECT!"
A small crowd was gathering around the two mortified agent pairs surrounding the exceptionally loud Emotion Marcus. Pete and Joe kept exchanging glances and trying not to blush or look any place they shouldn't. Karissa looked like she was having trouble keeping herself from punching Emotion Marcus's lights out. Charis simply wanted to melt into the floor.

"SERIOUSLY, I THINK IT'D BE REALLY COOL IF YOU GUYS-!"

No one noticed quiet little Thought Marcus until he was standing right next to his other, and, a bright flash of light later, the two were one again. "Sorry about that," Marcus said nervously, and walked away from the tense scene as quickly and unobtrusively as humanly possible.

There was a long and awkward silence.

"So..." Joe began hesitantly, "Do you guys wanna go out?"

Two loud and resounding slaps rang through the spacious room, which everyone did their best to ignore.

-

Monika observed two of her friends with a look of amusement. I wonder who gave them sugar...?

Granted, seeing Stacey and Danielle not wired-up on something was more of a cause for concern than seeing them hyper like this, but even that had its limits. She looked up at the swinging chandelier the pair of them were precariously swinging on. "How did you two even get up there?"

"Ezra flew us up!" Stacey called back down with a fresh round of inexplicable giggles.

The tall blonde sighed. Of course...

"You wanna join us?" Danielle asked.

Monika considered it for a moment. Granted, Valerie was expecting all three of them back soon, and there were still a few preparations to make before the photo shoot could actually begin. Not to mention she had volunteered to help Camille to build the platforms they would be standing on... But how often did you get to swing from a chandelier?

Oh, to heck with it. "Sure!" She grinned broadly. "Beam me up, Ezra!"

Stacey giggled again. "Believe me, you wouldn't want Ezra to 'beam' you anything."

-

"Meg! Stop!"

The collie paid no heed as she bounded through the spacious room, barrelling over anyone who happened to be in her path. The Welsh girls, meanwhile, raced after their pet, Trying to minimize the damage as they went.
Finally, after no small amount of effort, the girls captured their wayward pet.

"Is that all we get?" Emma asked indignantly. "That was a difficult chase, you know!"

Hey, don't blame me if the author doesn't know anything about chasing hyperactive collies.

"No conversing with the Narrator in my Library please!" Adrian called over to them from across the room. A small tremor had shook the rafters, prompting nervous looks from Stacey, Danielle, and Monika, so Ezra reappeared to fly them back down to (relative) safety.

Beth sighed, then asked her friends curiously, "What was Meg chasing, anyway?"

"Me!" growled a voice behind them. It was Shirley the Cliche Stick. "And if your mutt decides I look like a fetch stick one more time, things will get very very messy."

All three of them, including the dog, had the sense to gulp.

"Is the platform ready yet?" Jess asked. "I think Leonard's getting bored with the four-by-fours." She nodded in the direction of her sidekick-in-training: the paracitic fetus was indeed chewing into the midsection of a large block of wood, though it was apparent that he did not find the taste to his liking.

"Just about..." Camille muttered. She tightened a few of the bolts underneath, and stepped out. "Done!"

"Great!" Harriet said, clapping the techie on the shoulder in congradulations.

Tash turned to the Society members scattered around the spacious room. "Can we have everyone's attention, please?" she said loudly. Everyone obediantly fell quiet, and Tash gestured to Harriet.

"It has been one year since the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society was founded..." Harriet intoned gravely.

"Actually," Lauren piped up, "we're a few months past our anniversary..."

The Leader paused, looking a little flustered. "It has been one year since the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society opened its doors to new members..."

"Nope," Tash interrupted, "we missed that date too."

"...It has been one year since the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society set up headquarters at the Library Arcanium...!"

Adrian hesitantly raised a hand. "Uhh, actually..."

"Will you people stop ruining the moment?"

There was a long silence.

"Thank you." The Society's Founder and President cleared her throat dramatically. "It has been about a year since we started going around arresting Sues and Stus and all the rest of the stuff we do. It's been a busy summer, to say the least, but with all of us working together, we always pull through. With the coming of the new academic year, I know that many of our agents will be busy with Real Life matters, but I have faith that the new season will be even better than the first!" Unsurprisingly, Harriet's little speech was accompanied by dramatic waves and gestures.

Emily pulled a french beret onto her head in her mentor's honor. "Alright everyone!" Her tiny voice reached across the spacious room. "Line up!"

Everyone began arranging themselves onto the bandstands that had been miraculously set up in the antechamber, despite all the arguments and cliched insults. Lauren, Harriet, and Tash, as the Society's Founders, stood proudly in the center of the front row, the Chief Librarian on Tash's opposite side. Miriku, Michael, and Claire filed in just behind them, and Valerie's team arranged themselves in two rows on their left side, with Valerie closest to the center. Ari appeared out of between somewhere on the ceiling, and swooped down to sit prettily on Valerie's shoulder.

The other team of agents, Emma, Beth, and Kate, went on the right side of the founders as Marcus, Rhia, and Jess lined up on Miri's right. Leonard, who had been promised a cadaver to play with if he behaved himself, was poking his head curiously out of Jess' purple handbag. Kyle was wedged between Claire and Monika, but grinned like the rest of them.

Ben, Drake, and Tyler, with Shirley hovering next to Ben's shoulder, arranged themselves in the middle of the third row. Camille and Doyle stood to Tyler's left, and Jarred and Chloe went on Ben's right. Karissa and Charis slid in next to Chloe, Willie following them to complete the line.

Christoph, Algazdun on his shoulder, stood next to Doug in the very back, along with Pete and Joe. And Aster, in fae form, hovered between and just above the two pairs, apparently unable to stand still. After some shuffling, everyone was squeezed onto the platform, and everyone was fully visible to the camera.
Emily set the timer on the camera, then dashed back to stand in front of Harriet, an adorable smile on her face. Adrian continued adjusting his trenchcoat, seemingly unable to stop fidgiting.

"What is wrong with you?" Tash asked him, trying not to move.

"I told you," he muttered, "I don't like getting my picture taken!"

"Why on earth not?"

He rolled his eyes. "Does there have to be a reason? Maybe I just don't like it." The Librarian suddenly became aware of a hot flush coming to life on his cheeks, and looked anywhere but at Tash's face.

Tash, meanwhile, smirked. "Now you're blushing. That makes three things I don't get to see all that often." She snaked an arm around his neck, pulling him closer. She never could resist that blush... "And three things that no one but me willl ever see..."

And suddenly Emily's adorable smile became a smirk of triumph.

CLICK!

"Finally," the Librarian muttered, striding quickly out of the over-crowded room. Tash rolled her eyes and followed him out, plans to unkink his tail already running through her mind. The rest of the Society dispersed almost as quickly, due to Harriet's continued shouts of "Alright, break's over! Back to work, everyone!"

As she ran to collect her camera, Emily looked back at where Aster was still hovering, and the two exchanged a mischievious smirk. The fae flew over the heads of her fellow agents, landing right next to the girl. "Did they do it?" Aster asked eagerly.

"Yep," Emily replied with a wide grin. "I told'ja they would!"

The pair of them looked eagerly at the small digital preview screen on the camera... at one couple in particular, who were snogging each other in plain view, front-row center.

"Just a little cropping and re-sizing, and it'll be perfect!" Aster smirked. "I told them I'd have photos of them. Blackmail, here I come!"

-

Several hours later...
"I know what it is!" Harriet suddenly exclaimed, waking several agents from their sleep in the process, "It's the day of our 100th oneshot!"

A loud rumble filled the halls of the Library, waking everyone else and prompting an enraged "ASTER!" from the Chief Librarian, as per usual.

"Kyaa, we missed that one too, Hari-san." Aster commented. No one asked what she was doing in Harriet's bedroom. Probably looking for some of her confiscated manga. "The author of this fic was too lazy to submit it in time." At that, an even louder rumble was heard, and several shelves of books mysteriously broke.

"ASTER!" Adrian shouted again. He sounded particularly pissed this time, though for once it wasn't about the fourth wall.

The little fae suddenly became the picture of innocence. "Kyaa~?"

Insert Badly-Managed Mischief Here

It was Maurauders era, Hogwarts. The four marauders were hiding behind a tapestry, waiting with bated breath as Mrs. Norris walked towards the center of the halway, sniffing. Not only had they just raided the kitchen, but they'd set a trap for the evil tabby.

"Peter, stop eating all the eclairs," James said, "there'll be none left."

"Yes, and we have to get them up to the common room for the party," agreed Sirius.

"Well James ate one," sulked Peter.

"Only because he caught the snitch and won the game, giving us a reason to have the party," Remus Lupin explained patiently. "Now shh, the cat's coming." Five seconds later, a loud yowling sound reached their ears, informing them that Mrs. Norris had fallen through the false floor tile and into the Vanishing Potion they'd set below. The cat was sinking in the magical quicksand. Laughing, the boys came out from behind the tapestry.

"Wow," they gasped in unison. Standing before them was the prettiest girl they had ever seen. She had long strawberry blonde hair, and beautiful blue-green eyes. Her skin had a pale, Veela-like glow. Her name was Eulalia Anita Loralei Tangerine Dragonfly, and she was a Mary Sue. Sadly, that didn't stop her from causing the four Marauders to stand there, gawking at her like idiots. She was holding Mrs. Norris, who she had rescued.

"Is this your idea of a funny prank?" she demanded, hands on her hips. The cat's tail was missing.

"Oh, uh, no, not at all," stammered James. "If you want, we'll never pull a prank ever again!"

"She's hot," Sirius stage whispered, and Eulalia smiled and pretended not to notice.

"I never agree with their stupid pranks," Lupin was saying, "I'm a prefect, but I also go along because I'm also an incredibly loyal person." Peter tried to think of something impressive to say, but before he could tell the beautiful Eulalia all about his ability to cram twenty chocolate frogs into his mouth, a classroom door swung open and a girl bounded out.

This girl was very normal looking, not dazzling like Eulalia, with curly brown hair. "Stop right there, Sue!" she shouted.

"My name isn't Sue," Eulalia said sweetly.

"I know that," Ria said, "You're Eulalia. But at least you aren't Willowe What's-Her-Face with the ridiculous name. I don't know how Tash and the others keep a straight face speaking to her."

"Who are you," Demanded James sourly.

"I'm Ria, from the Anti-cliché and Mary Sue Elimination Society," the girl said loudly. She indicated her T-Shirt, which was too long on account of the fact that she was shorter than most other society members.

"You? Huh, they must be desperate for recruits," Eulalia said musically, turning still smiling flirtatiously at the boys, "You're awfully small for your age." The Part-Veela girl drew herself up to her full five-foot-nine-model-like height and looked down at Ria, who was five foot nothing. "And unfortunately, you're not going to stop me. I'm here to steal James away from Lily, and to prevent Harry Potter from ever being born."

"Who is Harry Potter?" Sirius was muttering, but Eulalia had cast off her cloak to reveal a ninja-like outfit.

"Not only am I a magical prodigy, a math whiz, a Veela, a Witch, and a Witch Weekly and Magical Makeup cover girl, but I also studied martial arts with Ra'az al Ghul from the League of Shadows." Ria pulled a file from her pocket, one she'd gotten from the library that Adrian was in charge of. She really should have read it before she started this misson: apparently Eulalia went from fandom to fandom terminator-style, eliminating the parents and stopping the children from ever existing. Her only motive was a badly written tragic past. Ria was jolted out of her reverie when Sirius said,

"Wow, Eulalia beautiful and talented."

"And… pretty," Lupin added dreamily.

"She's mine," James dissagreed, throwing the pie he was carrying at Lupin, who retaliated by throwing the treacle tart at James. Peter got hit by accident and started throwing eclairs. Sirius joined in the fight as well.

Soon the scuffle escalated into a full flegded food fight, with the boys saiying things like "she's mine!" "You'd never have a chance with her!"

Ria reached behind her and pulled a giant eraser from midair. It was a nifty trick, but only endless library research and a special permit allowed her to do it. She was only a Rookie, after all.

"Not an eraser! James! Sirius, please save me!" Eulalia looked for all the world like a damsel in distress.

"You just said you were a karate expert," Ria said, advancing with the giant pink eraser… and then the Mary Sue kicked it out of her hands. Surprised, Ria jumped backwards.

"You little self-insert! I'll erase you and the rest of your silly little Society!" Eulalia ran, gracefully of course, because Mary Sues are graceful in everything they do, towards the eraser. Sadly, she slipped on an éclair, skidded forwards, tripped over Mrs. Norris, and landed in the Vanishing Quicksand. Stunned by her luck, Ria watched the Mary Sue dissapear.

"Wow, the Society will be pleased!" she shrugged. Then she looked at the Marauders, still throwing pastries everywhere. They had gotten strawberry pie on her white T-Shirt. Carefully avoiding the magical quicksand, she picked up the eraser, erased the stain, and then vanished the eraser into thin air.

"HEY!" she called, "STOP IT!" It was rather hard to get their attention, but when she did, she said,
"Go on, don't you guys have some party to supply food for?"

"Oh..yeah," James said, looking at the mess around them, "Hey, Sirius, do you remember that clean-up spell?" Ria covered her ears as the boys said the spell—since she was a new member, she didn't want to be tempted to try magic and risk royally messing up.

"Bye!" she called halfheartedly. She turned, opened a classroom door to go through the Plothole. Sadly she'd opened the wrong door and found two students kissing. "Oh, sorry!" she went through the right door this time, vanishing into her own universe.


Note: Author Totally Tropical never wrote any other stories for the Society, and character Ria is accepted to have left the group after her first mission.

Ria is in no way related to "Rhia", an agent who was introduced very shortly after.