Friday, November 4, 2011

TAOM: Michael - Happy Birthday

The halls were silent. The lights were buzzing gently, and there was no one in sight. Truly, it was a dim day at the library, and there was no one around.

It was perfect.

"I think the coast is clear…" Michael mumbled to no one in particular, but when you were Michael, you were NEVER talking to yourself.

Ah, but the coast is never clear now is it? It cooed into his ear. They shall find you… that lover of yours and your sisters know exactly what day it is… and they are planning…

"God I hate you sometimes…" Michael growled to the dark parasite that dwelled inside of him, and he slinked his whole body out into the brightly lit florescent hallway. "I think we're in the clear… I just need to avoid everyone until midnight and I'll be good…"

And then his heart stopped.

His skin paled.

There were footsteps coming down the hallway. He didn't know who they belonged to, and he had a feeling, regardless of which it was, they KNEW what day it was.

"Michael!" Exclaimed the British voice that belonged to his elder adopted sister, Tash. She had a LARGE grin on her face.

And Michael had never run so fast in his life.


"How do they always know where I am?" Michael asked as he slinked around one of the many, many, towering book cases that were simply lined with dozens of hundreds of books, and it would prove to be an ample hiding spot for now.

You thought you were sure you were in the clear earlier, when you remained in your room, The darkness taunted. Eventually you're going to learn you have no hiding spot in this psychotic little mental institution you call a home, he said, chortling.

"Because I should be good if you would just keep your mouth shut and let me think." Michael growled as he grabbed a book from the shelf of the society and began to read. It was Beowulf, one of his favorites. He began to read to himself, until a colorful little piece of plastic landed on the page of his book.

Blinking, he looked up to see a small shower of the colorful plastic pieces. Red, blue, green, pink, purple, white, dark blue and neon pink.

And through the shower of the plastic bits was a grinning, frizzy haired, red headed girl. Miri waved at her older brother.

When the plastic rain stopped, Michael was nowhere to be found.


"I despise confetti." Michael growled as he shook his head, another miniature shower of the confetti falling from his long hair as he took to walking through the hallways again, finding the flickering lights to be a somewhat better company. Besides, if anything were to come at him, at least he'd SEE them.

As you humans say, third time IS the charm.

"Here's hoping it STAYS that way." Michael said as he looked at the hallway, down both ends, and plopped down against the wall. He pulled out his H.P. Lovecraft novel, and began to read.

I thought you grabbed Beowulf? asked the darkness after a confused silence.

"You think a lot of things," Michael grumbled as he tuned to a story, "besides; a plot hole like this is acceptable."

At that, the ground and the hallway beg an to shake violently, and Michael needed to find his ground.



You're cruel, The Darkness chuckled, and I like that.

"I'm not here to please you," Michael said with a shrug, "But, admittedly, it IS fun to blame Aster for my numerous Fourth Wall breakings."

There was silence that followed in the hallway as his eyes began to drift from left to right, taking in the words of the difficult author H.P. Lovecraft. Something off to the side caught his eye. Looking up, he saw the lights beginning to flicker on and off on either side of the hallway.

Eventually, Darkness surrounded the Gary Stu Gutter.

"Well, THAT'S not ominous."

Ahhh… now this is MY kind of relaxation time…The Darkness hisses, as the pair of snake heads slithered out of his back and around him, reveling in the darkness that had been mysteriously granted to him.

All Michael could hear as of now was his own breathing. Inhale… exhale… inhale… exhale… inhale… exhale.

There was a pair of soft footsteps off to the side of him. He held his breath, as his eyes hadn't yet adjusted to the darkness. Something was there with him. A soft, little giggle filled the air, and Michael felt his heart skip a beat.

A brief flash of light revealed someone was staring at him directly in the face. RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM.

For the second time that day, Michael darted down the hallway. This time, however, he did a very unprofessional scream.

The darkness cleared a moment later, and Claire was standing there, a cute little party hat on her head and a noise making in her mouth. With a cute grin, she blew the noise maker and gave her boyfriend chase.

"No where is safe," Michael mumbled under his breath as he walked into the kitchen, his eyes darting back and forth in a very paranoid sort of way, "They're all out to get me… they won't stop… never truly alone… trust nothing… believe no one…"

There's that decadent aroma again… the Darkness said to its host, inhaling somewhat deeply. It made Michael inhale too, and smack his lips.

"Mm, yeah, it does smell good." He agreed with the parasite. "What IS that smell?"

Walking over to the oven, he opened it slowly…

And shut it in horror. "Oh god," he gulped. "I'm too late…" he looked around in panic. "They're almost done… I need to get out of here…"

He was about to leave the room, ever so quietly…


"H-He's leaving t-the k-kitchen!"

"Dammit!" he screamed in frustration and raced out the room.


"Just when you think you know someone,' Michael groaned, "They all go against you… behind your back… start snitching on you… no one is good!"

You realize Adrian is right behind you.

Michael obviously didn't hear, as he was still walking down the hallway, biting on his fingernails. "Darkness is bad… light is bad… everything back…"

I say, the Librarian is right behind you…

Once more he didn't hear him. He continued to walk…

And a lasso looped him and he was jerked backwards Crying out in surprise, Michael fell to the ground, and felt his hands and knees tied up promptly.

"What the hell!" Michael exclaimed, struggling. "Did you know about this?" he hissed to the darkness.


"You could have warned me!"


"There," Adrian said to his girlfriend as she, Miri and Claire walked up behind the librarian, "that's one Gary Sue Gutter, all tied up nice and pretty, now pay up."

Tash only rolled her eyes and giggled. Reaching over, she gently grabbed his ear and began to rub it and tweak it. Adrian was instant putty, and he nuzzled against her petting hand in an affectionate way.

"Ahhh…" he purred against her rubbing hand, his tail twitching a little bit. "That's the STUFF…"

"Ahhh, you're so easy to please," Tash giggled a bit as she kissed the librarian's cheek softly, and continued to rub at his ears. Claire and Miri grabbed Michael's legs, easy, mind you, and began to drag him off into a nearby room.

"Adrian!" Michael snapped, struggling. "Help me! Please!"

The Librarian was too busy being petted to really care, leaning against his other half with pleased sigh "…huh…?"

"Now, hush…" Claire told her boyfriend as they hauled him through the door. "We're just going to celebrate…"

"No! No! I won't let you! No! Noooooooo!"


With all the fuss you were giving, I thought they were going to sacrifice you to some ludicrous sugar god or an offering for more manga…

"With this group, honestly?" Michael asked as he struggled to remove himself from the chair he found himself tied too. "Wouldn't put it past them."

Why do you hate this day? I was under the impression this was one of the most highly anticipated days of a human's life…

"It is, don't get me wrong," he said softly. "And I love these guys for doing it but…sometimes being the center of attention is a bit embarrassing…"

You humans are so stupid… well, I'll leave you be to your blushing… you have some embarrassment to do with your family…

Michael was left alone in silence, but not for long. Soon, Claire plopped down in his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing it, grinning. Miri put a cake in front of Michael, and Tash lit the candles.

And the voice of the Society began to sing.

"Happy Birthday to You… Happy Birthday to you…"

Thank god these only come once a year… Michael thought to himself, finally smiling as he leaned against Claire. Wasn't so bad, he guessed…

At least until him, Tash or Miri attacked the cake, accusing it of being a lie and running off, laughing manically. THEN it was just a normal day.

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