Saturday, February 11, 2012

Insert Replacement Agent Here

A convoy was driving along the dusty road. The land looked deserted, and the convoy looked like they were in a hurry. Oblivious to them, they were being watched. A jet aircraft of unknown origin was flying above, spying on their movement.

"This is Delta Four. I've spotted the convoy on the highway," said the pilot, looking down on his monitor. The co-pilot was flying the aircraft.

"Good, keep me posted," replied a voice. It belonged to the author. In the command centre, the author was standing alongside his favourite character, Vespin Otonashi, as many faceless officers were exchanging information on the target convoy. An officer handed files to the author and Vespin. They both took a look at their respective files before closing them.

"Terry has got us some fresh intel. It seems the convoy may not only be carrying Neb, but other agents as well. What do you suggest?" asked the author. Vespin turned to the author and gave a look. The author understood and looked at the surveillance feed.

"Are Doug-nii-san and Ivan-nii-san at the scene?" asked Vespin. The radio crackled and a reply came through.

"We are at least a click from the nearest village, on a cliff face," replied Doug. He was with Ivan and a few of the author's Imperial Guards armed to the teeth at the said cliff face. Ivan was looking through his binoculars. He saw the convoys exiting the dusty highway and heading for the village.

"They have exited the highway and heading to the village," said Ivan on the radio before taking out a bottle of vodka and taking a gulp. Doug just pulled the bolt on the rifle. The author and Vespin continued looking at the surveillance feed. The convoy slowed down at the village, and armed men came out. Vespin sent out a command.

"Ask the Imperial Knights to standby until Rina-nee-san gives the signal," said Vespin, and the orders are passed down. Vespin continued to look at the surveillance feed. One person looked similarly like Neb came out from the convoy. Now it's all down to Rina Kreig.

Armed with only a M1911 sidearm and her face covered in a balaclava, she walked towards the convoy and stood on the middle of the road. The armed men suddenly rushed in front of the convoys and aimed their rifles at her. One of them yelled in a foreign language that most people wouldn't understand.

"(Who are you? Get down or we'll shoot you!)," yelled one of the guards. Rina put her hand up.

"(I'm a Mary Sue! I can't show my face until I get full protection from the ACMSES!)," replied Rina.

"(That's odd. Mary Sues don't approach us for protection, but we do go to them and offer our services)," said a voice behind the guards, stepping forward. He showed himself to be wearing sunglasses and a hood so she couldn't recognize him.

"Darn, I can't see his face," Rina whispered on the radio. The computers were churning out face measurements to roughly determine the person's identity. The computers gave a 38% chance that it could be Neb. The computer AI decided to abort the mission. The author and Vespin were thinking deeply to decide of the next action to proceed.

"Hit them. They're still PCMSPS anyway," said the author. Vespin gave an affirmative nod. The officers passed down the final resolution to strike the convoy.

While Rina stood in front of shiny rifles pointing at her, the unknown Protection member looked around and said, "They're here."

Rina quickly pulled out her handgun and shot at the agent. She missed the agent, and the armed men fired back. She ran and hid behind a building while the agent was making a run for it. The armed men pinned her down, but unaware that a team of Imperial Knights swopped in and decimated them with their swords. The agent, who was not far, pulled out a weapon and fired an energy ball at the Knights. Some of the Knights are blown off, but the rest of the Knights pulled out their laser rifles and fired back. The agent entered the building.

"Secure the perimeter!" yelled Doug as he and his team ran towards the building. Viper helicopters zoomed past and the soldiers surrounded the building the agent entered, making sure he didn't exit from any other way. Doug, Rina and Ivan entered the building and raced up the stairs to a room where the agent was caught entering. Doug threw a Flashbang grenade into the room and the grenade burst. They entered the room with rifles aiming for the agent, but he was nowhere to be found. Doug signal a stop as something caught his ear. It was a beeping sound, and it was beeping faster as seconds go. Ivan caught sight of a stack of dynamite with the timer quickly going to zero.

"Bomb! Get out!" yelled Ivan as they rushed out of the room. The bomb exploded, decimating the entire room. As the dust settled, Rina got up and observed the damage. She saw Ivan getting up from the ruins, but not her brother. She got worried, and she went through the rubble to find him. Alas, he was found sprawled near where the doorway had been. There were some heavy debris on his back, and he was barely moving. Rina tested his pulse and it was weak. His blood was slowly creeping out from under his body.

"Medic! We need a medic!" she yelled, and the first on the scene was Cheryl, the leader of the EMTs, and some Imperial Guards.

"Doug! Hang on! Don't go berserk!" yelled Rina to her brother. Her brother just groaned. The Imperial Guards helped lifted the debris from Doug's back, and Cheryl made a quick diagnosis.

"Give me some blood packs! Hurry!" yelled Cheryl as a trainee medic rushed in with a blood pack. Apparently, some shrapnel embedded itself into Doug's body, and blood is slowly oozing out. Cheryl pricked his skin with a needle, funnelled the blood from a blood pack and she waved at one of the trainee medics to bring the stretcher. Lying on his side and in pain, Doug was hauled out and brought to an awaiting helicopter.

"He'll be fine," said Ivan to Rina, patting her on her back as they watched the helicopter flew off and disappeared behind the cliffs.


Tash had a plaster strip over the bridge of her nose, after having to escape from a close nuke detonation by Ben. Her hubby, Adrian; the Society ninja, Cristoph; the Society fae, Aster; and Ben's muse, Shirley, had gone after Ben after his betrayal. Tash would want to go, but since Harriet and Valerie were taking care of Emily in the Library's medical ward after that incident, the Society couldn't be left leaderless in this desperate hour. Tash was walking around in circles, thinking deeply why Ben would betray the Society. He wouldn't do that on purpose. Otherwise, it would be the biggest conspiracy to have happened to the ACMSES…

Then a jingling sound was heard from her computer. She walked towards it and a pop-up message
appeared. Venice had resurfaced in the Surrogates fandom. She picked up the phone and dialled to contact Doug's author. She wanted get Doug for this mission, since he was the only agent left in the Society capable and knows this fandom. The phone rang on the other side of the line. The author picked up.

"… that building should be there... Hello?" asked the author.

"Uh, hi. I called to get Doug for his next mission. Is he around?" said Tash. There was a long pause.

"Doug… is unavailable," replied the author. Tash was confused.

"Could I know why?" asked Tash. There was another long pause.

"Doug was incapacitated during his last mission to hunt down Neb. Bomb attack. We've done surgery on him to remove all the shrapnel from his body," replied the author. Tash's eyes widened, shocked by the news. The author continued.

"But he'll be alright. I didn't give him survivability for nothing," continued the author. Tash heaved a sigh of relief.

"Darn, I'll need him for this fandom. The peculiar Sue has resurfaced," stated Tash, disappointed, but relieved.

"Venice, right? I can send someone to act on his behalf, but you're going to need to send an agent so she can follow the Society protocols," said the author. Tash thanked the author and closed the phone.

Tash began thinking again. Ben's betrayal and Doug's attempted assassination happened almost simultaneously. Is Ben really working for the Protection Society? Are they planning to take out the Society one agent at a time? It would be bad for the Society Agents in pursuit, especially her love Adrian. But Tash pushed the thoughts aside as she remembered the Sue in the fandom. She still has a job to do. Doug's auxiliary agent is going to need the help she could get to capture Venice.


Tyler was standing at the doorway of a room. He stares at the cookies on the pedestal. He looks around and finds no obvious traps. He pulled out a book and flips the pages.

"'The Breath of God'. Only the penitent man shall pass," said Tyler to himself. He slowly walked towards the cookies very slowly. He felt the wind rushing on his face. That caused him to stop and think.

"The penitent man kneels before God!" yelped Tyler in delight. A swing axe came past and was about to hit Tyler when he jumped and gnawed at the rope holding the swing axe. The swing axe fell down with a heavy thud. Then Tyler spat the bits out.

"Too old for my taste," commented Tyler before moving on. He got closer to the cookies on the pedestal. He reached another puzzle. This time, the floor tiles are labelled with letters. Tyler flipped the book and read the lines aloud.

"'The Word of God'. Only those who follow the word of God shall have safe passage." Tyler looked at the letters on the tiles and decided it was too hard to be accomplished. He searched around his utility belt and found some grenades. He pulled out the pins and tossed them onto the tiles.


All that was left was a trail of unbroken tiles with the word 'Jehovah', spelt with an 'I'. Tyler merely stepped on those tiles and got through. He could almost smell his prize, but a pool of man-eating sharks stood in his way. Tyler flipped through the pages then decided to eat the book. He swallowed the entire book, and then pulled out his ping-pong paddle. It morphed and started off with a beep.

"Gah! Time bomb!" Tyler quickly deactivated the time bomb before managing to morph the paddle into his Lego axle staff. He went back to a distance, and then ran, pointing the axle down on the floor. Like an Olympic pole vault competitor, he managed to get across the pool and land at the foot of the pedestal. Since he was too short to reach the cookies on the pedestal, he tipped the pedestal to drop the cookies. He first ate the pedestal, followed by eating the cookies. Then his Communicator rang. Tash appeared on the screen.

"Tyler, come to the office. I need you on a mission," said Tash.

"Okay," replied Tyler, munching on the cookie. He closed the Communicator and continued to munch on the cookie. Then the Communicator rang again. Tyler finished the cookie and picked up the Communicator. It was Tash again.

"Was that a cookie you just ate?" asked Tash. Tyler pretended to look innocent.

"No…" replied Tyler before shutting the Communicator, gobbling up the rest of the cookies and headed for Tash's office.


Tyler walked towards Tash's office and found her door. He knocked on the door.

"Come in," said Tash's voice. Tyler opened the door and was completely confused at two women of identical height in the office. One was the obvious Tash in blonde hair, but the other was a brunette, standing with her back facing him. She was wearing some form of a military uniform; Kevlar, skirt and knee-length boots. Assuming it was pseudo-Tash just by glancing; Tyler quickly took out a grenade and tossed it at the said brunette.

"Tyler, wait!" yelled Tash. But the brunette turned, revealing not to be pseudo-Tash but Doug's sister, Rina, caught the grenade and unscrewed the fuse out, preventing a detonation.

"Err… muffins…" Tyler stuttered at the speed in which Rina had reacted to his attack. He was lucky that her military training served her well. Tash sighed in relief and pinched her forehead. She had enough explosions for the day already.

"Tyler, meet Rina. She'll be replacing Doug for this mission," introduced Tash.

"Since when do we have replacement agents?" asked Tyler. Tash shook her head.

"We don't. But we don't have many Agents to spare either. Our Society is spread thin over the Sues and the Protection Society, and the author could only offer some help when Doug's been incapacitated," replied Tash.

Rina continued, "My author's army is also spread thin hunting for Neb, and this attempt to take out my brother is definitely a work of another agent. We're going to hunt him down and take him out," said Rina. Tyler looked as though he was listening, but his brain proved otherwise. Tash spoke.

"Venice is now in the 'Surrogates' fandom. Expect her to use the tech and take it out to use on her author. We can also expect the Protection Society to back her up if we interfere," said Tash. Tyler nodded. He seemed happy, since he could actually fight his counterpart. He opened a plothole and entered it. Before Rina could enter, Tash called to her.

"How are you going to find her if she uses a surrogate?" asked Tash.

"The author is already in the works. He has put in his best hacker to track the signals received by each surrogate," replied Rina before entering the plothole. As the plothole disappeared, Tash headed for the Society computers, where she'll observe the progress of Agent Tyler and Rina. She reached the computers, typed in the fandom parameters and clicked 'Observe'. All the computer did was splurt out 'ERROR: TOO MANY SIGNALS ARE IN USE'. Unable to rectify the problem herself, Tash used her Communicator and called in Charis.

"Charis, I need help with the Society computers," called Tash sheepishly.


Tyler and Rina landed on the busy streets of the city, with people walking, driving, working, you know, everyday stuff. Rina reached for her radio and called it.

"Ivan, I'm in," said Rina. The radio gave a reply.

"Walk three blocks and turn left into an alley. The weapons and items are there," replied Ivan in a gruff Russian accent. Rina and Tyler headed for the alley and walked towards the dumpster. Inside was a briefcase. Rina took it out and opened it. She gave one of the two circular scopes to Tyler and began assembling her rifle and her pistol. She strapped a pouch and slid the weapon clips in it. Tyler inspected the scope she gave him.

"What's this for?" asked Tyler. Rina turned and answered.

"It's for distinguishing between a surrogate and human being. Other than that, it should provide a minimap on where you are, and when the target's been found, the target will appear as a blip on the map," replied Rina. Possibly too many military terms like 'minimap' and 'target' confuses poor Tyler. He nodded and strapped it next to one of his eyes. Rina pulled the bolt on her rifle and slung it around her back.

"I'm going from the rooftop. You're fine with ground level?" asked Rina. Tyler just nodded and walked towards the sidewalk. Rina watched him left and pulled out a grappling gun. She aimed and fired at the edge of the roof of the building. She then climbed up and looked across the suburban skyline.

"(Ivan, search for purchases or stolen surrogates in the last half hour)," asked Rina in Russian to the radio.


"Hmm, seems like the Society computers are not built for handling absurd amounts of technological interference as used in 'Surrogates'…" trailed off Charis as her finger ran across the keyboards. The screen seemed to show signs of hope, but it was too fuzzy to be even recognized.

"We can still log in and observe, but the signal's too weak to pick up anything. If only we had a relay system in that fandom, then we could boost the signal to acceptable levels," continued Charis, plugging in her laptop to the mainframe. Tash remembered about the hacker Doug's author sent into the fandom. She picked up the telephone and dialled for the author. But the line was busy, much to Tash's dismay. She had no choice but to send Charis into the fandom.

"Charis, could you go into the fandom to boost the signal?" asked Tash. Charis pondered for a moment.
"Yea, I could…" replied Charis. It was good enough for Tash.

"Good, you're going in there. I'll send someone over there to act as your guard," said Tash as she walked out of the computer rooms with a smirk on her face. Charis stared in confusion.


"There was one surrogate that was given by VSI to a person named Venecia Sliverstone. She apparently told them that they needed to fix the kill switch design on their models due to the fandom's computer virus that kills their operators, and she provided newer designs of the kill switch. She was celebrated by both the people who used surrogates and the Dreads, and was awarded a Nobel Peace Prize," explained Ivan on the radio.

"That sounds like the Sue to me," replied Tyler, with an earpiece in his ear. He was casually walking through the streets of the city.

"And it says on the news bulletin that she's leaving the country after her final rally at the VSI headquarters in the city. Her appearance starts in 15 minutes," continued Ivan.

"Noted. C'mon Tyler. We can't allow her to leave to kill her author. Hopefully she would open the can of worms about my brother's attempted assassination," said Rina on her radio. Tyler saw a subway station and took the subway. Rina, on the other hand, jumped down the building, spots an Audi sports car, carjacked it and drove there.


"I BET SHE'S BEEN DOING THIS ON PURPOSE!" complained Charis as she walked on top of a suburban shop lot. Behind her was Pete, carrying other electronic essentials.

"Well, who could carry all this stuff for you?" asked Pete, already panting over the weight of the equipment.

"You know, she could pick Drake, or Kyle, but why you? Isn't it obvious? It's the shipping thing!" replied Charis as she set down her backpack. She unzipped it and took out her laptop, a mini generator and a mini satellite dish. Pete set the load he was carrying and took out a larger mini generator, a couple of CPU minitowers, a couple of keyboards, two monitors and lots and lots of wire. Charis was setting up her relay system when Pete's alter ego, Himuro, popped up from nowhere. Pete's body, under the influence of Himuro, fixed up the minitowers and monitors and when Charis was about to reach for the USB cables to connect to the towers, Himuro handed a connection cable to Charis.

"Thanks Pete," said Charis before noticing that the ministation was already set up. Pete came back to his senses.

"Sorry. Himuro got a little too excited," replied Pete. Charis let out a cheerful smirk before connecting the Society-issued Communicator. With the help of these machines, the signal was strong enough for the Society computers in the Library to detect. Charis tested the signal.

"Tash, can you pick this up?" asked Charis, activating the Communicator.

"Loud and clear, Charis," Tash appeared on screen.

"How's Pete going on there?" asked Tash, a smirk running across her face.

"He's fine, Mrs Librarian," replied Charis mockingly. Tash frowned with slight blushes on her cheeks.

"We're not even married yet!" complained Tash. Charis couldn't have felt better that day.


The subway reached central station, which is near the VSI headquarters. He walked out of the train and out from the station. Before he could walk a few paces towards the crowded VSI entrance, he heard someone call his name.

"Looking for someone, Tyler?" asked the voice. Tyler recognized it and turned to its owner.

"Yes, you," replied Tyler before throwing a metal can.

"Wha…" Relyt was caught off-guard with the metal can, which exploded and covered him in glitter. And before Relyt could say anything, Tyler pushed a button on a remote control, causing the glitter to explode.

"Universal remote that controls the dreaded Edward-Twilight-Sparkles," commented Tyler as he watched the smoke clear off. Out from the smoke shot a Lego axle, which Tyler dodged. Landing on his feet, he looked and saw Relyt standing with his face charcoal black.

"Aren't you supposed to capture the Sue and I'm the one holding you back?" asked Relyt, magically making the staff come back to him.

"No," Tyler answered simply, and extended his Lego axle from his ping-pong paddle.

"Isn't this your mission?" asked Relyt, defending an attack by Tyler.

"No. I'm just here to lead the Agent in charge," replied Tyler, blocking an attack from Relyt. Relyt's eyes widened.

"Shit! It's a diversion!" thought Relyt before he was clobbered with a sink Tyler was holding.

Where did HE get a sink?


The explosion erupted behind the crowd, but it didn't matter since they're all robots. The only disgruntled people are those who had their surrogates destroyed by Tyler's 'pixie dust'. But it worried Venice whose surrogate was exiting the building.

"The Protection Agents did their bit. Now to do mine," thought Venice as her surrogate shuts down in public and she disconnected herself from the chair in the top floor VSI building. She got up, unplugged a USB device that allows her control of any surrogate from anywhere, and kept it in her pocket. She left with two military-grade surrogates and approached the elevator. Before she could exit the office, the elevator doors opened and Rina came out. She fired at the two surrogates, destroying them. Venice turned and ran back to the office. Rina chased after her, and when she looked like wanting to crash through the windows, Rina fired a shot at her leg, hitting the USB device, but the impact was enough to stop her from running any further. Venice fell, and when she tried to crawl away, Rina jammed her foot on her spine. She wailed in pain. Rina aimed her rifle at Venice's head.

"Okay Venice. Now it's the time to talk. Did you order the hit on my brother?" asked Rina. Then a light cough sounded behind her.

"That would be the wrong person to ask," said a voice. Rina recognized the voice from that earlier mission and turned around. It was Ekard. That gave enough distraction for Venice to escape into a plothole. After the Sue was gone, he spoke again.

"How's your brother holding?" asked Drake. Rina quickly raised her rifle and tried to pull the trigger, but Ekard reappeared behind her and kicked her on the back, sending her crashing through some computers. She quickly got up, with blood trickling from her forehead. Ekard rushed and sent a punch, but she blocked the attack and drew out her knife to slash Ekard. Ekard barely dodged the attack, the knife making a cut to his shirt. Rina was holding her knife close to her head.

"You know, I don't kill women. But I'll make this an exception," said Ekard as he activated his armour and zoomed to deliver an attack to Rina, but she extended her knife into her Death Knight sword.

"Oh crap!" exclaimed Ekard before the sword slashed him.


Charis and Himuro were checking and maintaining the clear signal so that the Society leader could see, but a giant version of a Chinook helicopter appeared above them and started dropping infantry. Himuro disappeared and Pete resumed control of his body, changing into his Lightdrake outfit and getting ready to protect Charis. The soldiers knelt down and aimed their rifles while yelling at them.

"Get down on the ground now! Get down or we'll shoot you!" yelled one of the soldiers. They were ready to pull the trigger if Pete had reacted. Pete just stood his ground and was about to form his laser guns when one of them put a fist up, signalling a cease fire.

"Stop! Stand down, Stormtroopers!" said the trooper who was the only one not wearing a helmet. The trooper was Terry, one of Doug's brothers. The Stormtroopers lowered their weapons.

"Who are these guys?" asked Charis, standing behind Pete as she was afraid.

"Sorry, your relay station is causing warning messages to pop up on our computers. We had to take every precaution," explained Terry. Pete relaxed his stance, but a sound puts all of them on guard. They looked at a flying craft, hovering with its guns pointing at them. It looked like it came out from Terminator Salvation.

"Get behind us!" he yelled. Pete and Charis got behind the troops, and the troops stood forward and activated their ray shields. The craft fired its missiles at the group, with its area-of-effect destroying the only link to the Society computers. But the troops got out unaffected, and a missile from their hovering helicopter hit the craft, sending it crashing to the ground and bursting into flames. The hovering helicopter hovered down to about the same level as the roof and its back doors opened.

"Everyone, into the Bumblebee!" yelled Terry.

"The Bumblebee?" asked Pete, surprised by its name.

"The author has many weird names for machines," replied Terry. Everyone went in, but Charis stopped to find her laptop. Miraculously, the laptop survived the explosion and she hugged it as she entered the beast of a helicopter. The helicopter took off with plotholes ripping across the fandom, spewing out T-600.

"I need to amplify the link to the Society so Tash won't panic," said Charis, sitting down and going through the web options.

"Go through our subnet. Multiverse protocol address is ," said Terry. He grabbed hold onto the railings in the helicopter, telling the pilots to report a massive invasion.


Tash was obviously panicking when the live feed was cut. Her hair was standing on its end, as if she was electrocuted. Harriet walked by to check on Tash.

"Tash, are you…." Harriet stopped when she saw Tash with her hair on its ends. Harriet just turned around and left.

But the feed came out minutes later, with Charis dominating the screen.

"Dear thank god you're okay! How did you get to connect back to HQ?" asked Tash, relieved that Charis was okay.

"This is via Doug's author's computer. But apart from that, several plotholes have appeared, spewing out Terminator robots. We're getting Tyler and Rina out of the fandom," said Charis.

"How about the continuity in the fandom?" asked Tash, with several of the computer screens showing T-600 robots levelling the city. Terry appeared on the screen.

"The continuity can wait! Right now we have to retrieve the Agents from there or they'll be killed!" exclaimed Terry. Tash could sense the seriousness of his voice, and had to agree.

"Bring them home," said Tash. Terry nodded and the helicopter few towards the VSI building.


Tyler and Relyt are having a brawl when an explosion blew up across the street. T-600 robots were marching towards them. Distracted, Tyler was kicked off by Relyt as he opened a plothole and disappeared into it. Tyler got up, but was stuck behind a corner of a building as bullets pelted on the ground. A helicopter appeared, and quickly mowed down the Terminators. The same Bumblebee landed and Tyler ran into the helicopter with some Stormtroopers covering his back. The helicopter took off with Terminators trying to shoot it down. The helicopter dodged the bullets as plotholes opened, pouring out tanks to take care of the Terminators.


Rina was too weak to get up as she lay on the rubble. Blood ran down from cuts on her face, arms and legs. She tried to reach her sword but Ekard stepped on the handle, preventing her from using it. Ekard lifted her by the neck, causing her to choke. He was about to throw her off the floor when a cabinet crashed into Ekard, sending him off the floor instead. He dropped Rina when he got hit, thus Rina collapsed on the floor. A blue haired girl with blue eyes walked towards her and hugged her, causing her to yelp.

"Aak! Don't squeeze me! It hurts!" yelped Rina. The blue haired girl frowned.

"But I have to pay my remuneration by hugging someone, Rina!" exclaimed the blue haired girl. Rina let out a sigh.

"Could you at least do it after we get out of here, Yee Lin?" asked Rina, which caused the Chinese girl to laugh. Yee Lin pulled her up and walked towards the helicopter that was waiting to take them in. They got in, and the helicopter flew off, passing over a battle between machines and man.


Venice, in an unknown fandom, took out her USB device and checked it. It was broken, and she cursed because she won't be able to kill her author with a surrogate.


"The fandom is about 92% restored," said the author on the phone. Tash was sitting on her chair, reading Tyler's report. The author continued.

"Rina has confirmed the Agent responsible for the attempt on Doug is Ekard. That would be two confirmed Agents on our list," continued the author.

"Thanks author," replied Tash before closing the phone. She continued to read Tyler's report and then closing the file.

"And so he starts," thought Tash.


Charis was working on the new device when Doug came in with an electric wheelchair. Charis looked up in surprise.

"Doug! Wow, you seem fit," commented Charis. Doug smiled.

"Yea, although I'll be stuck on this chair for a while," replied Doug as he wheeled the chair to the workdesk.

"So, you got a name for it?" asked Doug. Charis soldered a joint before speaking.

"I think I'll call it 'The Anachron Device'," replied Charis. Doug nodded in agreement.

"Interesting name," replied Doug before pointing out a flaw on one of Charis' wiring.

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