Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Insert Homecoming King of Monsters Here

General Idea and a squad of four MPs ran through the ventilation shaft searching for their target. This training exercise had been Jared's idea since the LPGB had been getting restless ever since the mission to the Metroid Prime fandom. Jared had constructed a dummy version of Shirley and hidden it somewhere in the Library, General Idea's mission was to locate the dummy, send up green smoke and signal the new LPGB predator drone to destroy it.

Unarmed scouts reported they had spotted the dummy in the commons, Idea had ordered them to transmit their coordinates and return to base, intent on destroying the dummy personally.

Meanwhile, Tash and Valerie were having tea in the kitchen, only vaguely aware of the tiny pattering sound echoing through the room when suddenly the nearest vent was blown off it's security bolts.

Tash was about to investigate when multiple smoke grenades were lobbed out of the ventilation, all of which landed on the table.

"Smoke grenades away!" One of the MPs shouted.

General Idea suddenly lifted up a green laser pointer.

"The predator drone is on it's way! Targets will be lit by green light!" He shouted.

General Idea and his men pointed the laser pointer's beams into the middle of the teaset.

"What is the meaning of this!" Shouted Tash, suddenly growing aware of the growing sound of jet engines.

Tash turned to look just in time to see the unmanned predator drone fire multiple missiles towards the table.

Tea, plate fragments, silverware, burning napkins and chunks of wood flew everywhere as the missiles detonated, laying waste to the leader's entire meal.

The predator made a second pass, firing more missiles. The table groaned under the strain and collapsed to the floor, the teapot on the table shatter, hurling the scalding liquid in every direction.

"What is going on here?" Tash yelled, grabbing the predator drone and hurling it into the wall, it burst into tiny plastic fragments.

"General Idea, we may have hit the wrong target..." Said an MP.

"Nonsense, I calculated this position perfectly! Wait, is that a line of longitude or latitude?" General Idea said, holding a chart in his hands. The words scarcely had left his voice box before a certain well known Clichè Stick walked into the room carrying an immobile look-alike in her claws.

"Does anybody know where this thing came from?" She asked, before noticing the LPGB. "Food!" She yelled, scrambling into the vent after the LPGB.


Time passes...

"Are they still going at it? Surely Shirley realizes she surely can't reach the LPGB through the narrow ventilation ducts..." Karrisa said, listening as the sound of exploding shells echoed from the vents, causing dust to fall down from the ceiling.

"Well, she'd probably be forced to give up if the LPGB would just retreat out of her effective range, but as it stands they still believe they have a chance to achieve victory." Jared said, "To make matters worse, I can't order them to stand down because Shirley's taken out all of their radios, and it will take me awhile to calibrate a sonic frequency emitter to broadcast messages to them."

"Aren't you worried about them?"

"No, they're fighting in a section of the ventilation too narrow for Shirley to fight effectively, she's much more of a threat to the integrity of the ventilation system then she is to my men." As if to emphasize Jared's words, the ceiling buckled and Shirley crashed to the floor of the room in a pile of air duct-work.

"Let me at them!" She yelled as she leapt back into the hole.

"If any of you can hear me, I order you to retreat!" Jared yelled, cupping his hands together, there was no response however.

"If I'm not interrupting anything, I have a mission I would like the two of you to go on." Tash said, walking into the room.

"Not much, just some gratuitous collateral damage and a small-scale war, I'd be happy to go on a mission," Jared answered.

"What's the fandom?" Asked Karrisa.

"The Marvel comics adaptation of Godzilla." Tash replied, looking serious. Jared gulped.


Miles above the New York countryside, a S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier raced towards the most recent sighting of the creature known as Godzilla. Acting Director Colonel Sasha Swanson Stark the 5th urged the pilot to accelerate. The helicarrier was carrying a device designed to inhibit Godzilla's higher brain function in it's cargo hold. She was hoping she could get close enough to activate it without having to risk using the Red Ronin armor to deliver it personally.

She wasn't having a very hard time in taking over this fandom, she had used her sue and political powers to get Director Nick Fury sent on a mission deep into Latvaria, allowing her to assume command in his absence. If things went according to plan she and her sister would be able to meet up back in the city and have dinner with all of the villians she had taken over before a new day dawned.

Sasha waved her wavy red hair out of her eyesight as she began to write in her flawlessly uniform hand her orders she wanted to be carried out.

"Colonel Stark?" Came the voice of Dum Dum Dugan, leader of Team Godzilla as he entered the room.

"Yes Dugan?" She asked, flashing him with her radiant smile.

"We have sighted Godzilla, we will be in range in 10 minutes."

"Very well Dugan, would you escort me to the bridge?"

"I'd be happy to Sasha dear."

"Ah ah ah! That's Colonel Stark while we are on duty, and don't you forget it!"


"So Jared, you seem to be the foremost expert on this fandom, what can you tell us about it?" Tash shouted across the briefing room over the sound of exploding mortar shells in the ceiling.

"Plenty, the series follows the exploits of a team of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents assigned with the capture of Godzilla as the creature crosses the continent of North America."

"Does Godzilla have the same powers as it does in the movies?" Doug asked.

"For the most part, except it has fire breath instead of the radiation bursts it fires in the movies." Jared answered.

"As you are probably aware, Godzilla is a Blacklisted fandom, so I myself will be leading the team that is going aboard the Helicarrier pursuing Godzilla, the rest of you will be going into the city to combat a Sue-controlled gang of super villains that is causing a severe cannon warp."

"Understood, also I think I should mention I managed to get ahold of Doug's author, he said he'd lend us a team of anti-tank Dark Guardians to be a thorn in Godzilla's side for us." Jared said, Doug nodded his approval.


Tash, Chloe, Doug and Pete stepped out on the surface of the helicarrier. Before the plothole could even seal itself they had already dived behind a weapons battery to avoid the detection of the agents walking the deck.

"There it is people, the worlds only remaining dinosaur!" Chloe said, pointing to the distant form of Godzilla. The creature appeared to be preoccupied with the U.S. Military. Multiple jets were attempting to halt Godzilla's progress towards New York, one jet happened to fly too close, Godzilla caught the jet and crushed it in his powerful grip. The pilot scarcely had time to eject before the craft exploded.

"There's Nicky!" Doug said, looking through a pair of binoculars and shouting over the helicarrier's engines. Tash watched the distant black dots that apparently part of the team of Dark Guardians, tiny fires that looked like missile spankings began to light up, sure enough Godzilla was struck by multiple missile seconds later. The creature growled and rounded on the group. He turned back towards the dots and fired a burst of atomic fire at the group. There was a brief explosion from the scene.


"Well, there goes that missile platform." Nicky Yee said, picking up his bazooka.

"Atleast it wasn't one of ours, I'll bet the U.S. military would have rather we left it back at the base we passed." One of the troopers under Nicky's command said.

"In the tank men, we need to move further down the road. We don't want to get stepped on." Nicky ordered.
The men got into the tank, the vehicle grumbled to life and began to move.


The roof top of the Daily Bugle was a battle field, where the team of Rhia, Jared, Karrisa and Tyler had been attacked almost instantly after entering the fandom.

"Who are these people!" Rhia shouted, locking her wakizashi blades against the sword of a tall, white cloaked man wearing a skull mask.

"That would be the Task Master!" Jared shouted, "He has photogenic reflexes that allow him to mimic any fighting style, and an entire arsenal of weapons he uses to mimic the various heroes of the universe." Jared said, lifting his hammer just in time to deflect a blow from Doctor Octopus. "In case your interested, the big bald guy without a shirt is the Absorbing Man, he absorbs the properties of anything he touches."

"And they are attacking us why?" Karrisa asked, fading out of visibility to avoid being hit by one of Doc Ock's tentacles.

"Don't care, lets just mess them up!" Tyler said, morphing his ping-pong paddle and lunging at Doc Ock. The villain raised himself up on two of his tentacles and evaded, then swung the other two of them towards Tyler.


Tyler was launched out of the way of the strike just in time to avoid serious injury by a burst of sonic energy, Tyler groaned and looked up to see Jared with his smoking Boomhammer.

"You shot me!" Tyler accused.

"Well, it was better than going splat." Jared defended, dodging the Absorbing Man's wrecking ball.

"Yeah, I bet you were just looking for an excuse!"

"Well, I have been needing to test out my new model II Boomhammer's projectile mode..."

"You were supposed to deny that." Tyler said, slowly standing up.

"I was joking! Boomhammer!"

Jared swung his hammer hard into the Absorbing Man's metal body, the air distorted as a burst of compressed sound waves exploded beneath the hammer, throwing the Absorbing Man into the fire escape.

"We were expecting you!" The Task Master said, blasting Rhia in the face with his version of Spider-man's web shooters.

"Rhia!" Jared shouted, rushing over to provide assistance, only to be grabbed by the now brick infused Absorbing Man.

Jared tried to shout an earth incantation, but the Absorbing Man's grip was so tight he couldn't make the words come out.

"That hammer of your's must be made out of something special for it to have hit me as hard as it did. I think I'd like some of that if you don't mind."

The super villain grabbed the hammer, his reddish skin tone quickly turned to the Boomhamer's soft shade of gun metal gray.

"Woah! That thing has some serious mojo! I've got to try this out!" The Absorbing Man threw Jared into the air, and delivered a mighty punch to Jared's gut that sent the agent flying with a mighty boom and a scream of pain.


"Parker!" Bugle Editor-in-Chief Jolly Jonah Jameson shouted just before a certain well known Bugle photographer could duck into the janitor's closet.

"Yes, Mr. Jameson?" Peter Parker said nervously.

"What are you doing snooping around the Janitor's closet? A freakin' dinosaur is approaching the city and a group of super humans are slugging it out on our very roof top! And you're looking for a broom when you should be out there taking pictures! Now get your butt out there right this minute or you're fired!" Jameson yelled, causing the vein in his head to throb a little.

"Yes Mr. Jameson, I'm going right now sir!" Parker said.

"See that you do, and make sure you get some pictures of Spider-man, that law-breaking criminal is always behind this sort of thing!" the editor said as he walked away.

When Peter was sure Jameson had gone, he ducked into the closet and pulled up his shirt revealing his signature red and blue costume and dawned the mask that would allow him to shed his identity as Peter Parker, turning him into the costumed hero the whole world knew as Spider-Man!


Tash and her group snaked their way through the ventilation ducts of the helicarrier, searching for the Sue that was running the place. They paused briefly to stare out an intake vent.

"Everybody here is getting ready for when we catch up with Godzilla, we could be marching to a drum beat and they still wouldn't notice us," Chloe said, as she walked behind Tash.

"That's still no reason to generate excess noise, we don't want to push our luck..." Doug said, attaching a silencer to his handgun.

"Where do we go from here?" Pete asked.

"According to the blueprints Jared showed me, I'd say take a right at the next fork." Tash said, "we'll be heading into a secure area, so expect moderate to heavy resistance."

The agents continued on their course until they got to the fork, then the whole craft began to shake.


"Director Sasha! The creature began to attack before we the Sue Storm prototype could take effect, it's got ahold of us!" A panic-y S.H.I.E.L.D. agent shouted, gripping the helm controls.

"That's impossible! The device is designed to work instantaneously! Bring the secondary engines online and pull us back immediately!" Sasha shouted maintaining perfect composure as, the helicarrier lurched as it tried to pull away, but the monster held tight.

"It's no use Colonel, we can't break free!" The helmsmen stated, outside the ship Godzilla opened it's mouth and let loose a stream of fire. Flames danced across the ships deck, destroying countless aircraft and killing numerous agents.


"Do you think it was a good idea Copyright Darting that thing?" One of Nicky's troopers asked, disassembling a oversized Copyright Dart launcher.

"Definately, we couldn't risk something that big falling under Sue control." Nicky assured, watching as the beast attacked the helicarrier as he lowered himself into the tank.

Then he gave the order: "Fire at will!"

Rockets, mortar shells, bullets and any other artillery on hand was fired the Godzilla, the sudden fire impacting it in the side. The creature let out a cry of that was more surprise than pain and let go of the helicarrier, refocusing his attention towards the Dark Guardians.


"Eat this!" Tyler's shouted as he flung a grenade at the Absorbing Man. The explosion blew him completely off the side of the building just before he reached the spot where Jared was lying, "You know, I don't think that's a bad suggestion!" Tyler said, before popping the grenade pin in his mouth.

"Mffpphh fah fwee!" Rhia shouted, pulling at the webbing on her face and stumbling backwards.

"Hang on Rhia! I'm coming!" Karrisa shouted, fading in and out of visibility just long enough to avoid being struck by Doc Ock.

"Not until I'm done with you you little welp! I don't need to see you in order to hurt you!" The villain shouted, sweeping the ground with his tentacle. Karrisa tripped and fell with a thud as she returned to the visible spectrum.

The Taskmaster sheathed his sword and pulled out his Hawkeye imitation bow. Rhia tripped and fell, the Taskmaster stood over her and took aim at her neck.

"Did you really think you were a match from me? I've fought Daredevil, Black Widow, the Punisher and the Avengers even, you were little more than a warm-up exercise to me, prepare to meet your maker." The Taskmaster drew the bowstring back...

And was struck by a web ball to the face.

"Hey Tasky, remember me! I hope so, I'm looking forward to slapping you around a little after you won that patent suit I filed against you after you copied my webshooters!" Spider-Man shouted, swinging into the would-be-assassin before he could release his grip on the bowstring.

"Spider-man you perpetual meddler! Why must you insist on dropping in on our plans!" Doctor Octopus shouted, sending two tentacles out after Spider-man.

"Because, I have a really bad insurance company and you're the only doctor they'll pay for me to see. I must say you have a really terrible bedside manner..." Spider-man quipped, leaping up and webbing the two tentacles together.

"This totally makes up for Drake getting the mission to the Spider-Man fandom before I could!" Cried Tyler, drawing his ping-pong paddle.

"Spidey senses, tingling!" Spider-man shouted, grabbing Tyler and leaping as the Absorbing Man crashed through the roof. Tyler took the opportunity to slap a copyright on the hero before he was set down beside Jared.

"Parker! Wherever you are you better be getting pictures of this! If I don't have something for the front page tomorrow the cost of fixing that whole in the ceiling is coming out of your paycheck!" Jameson shouted through the hole in the roof of his wrecked office.

"Geez louis, Jameson, with all the shouting you do I'm surprised you can still speak!"

"Spider-Man! I should have known you were behind this!"

"Oh give it a rest already..." Spider-Man said, leaping over the Absorbing Man's sonic powered right hook.

"I laugh at your misfortune!" Tyler shouted, leaping onto the Absorbing Man's back and applying a Copyright, clarity appeared in the man's eyes for the first time since the fight began.

"What am I doing here? There's no money to be had in attacking a newspaper publisher! That broad that hired me is nuts! I'm getting out of here!" And with that, the Absorbing Man grabbed Tyler and flung him into Spider-man before leaping away.

"Oof! You have a hard head!" Spider-Man shouted, getting up.

"I get that a lot," Tyler said, struggling to disentangle himself from the webslinger.

"Are you two forgetting someone?" Doc Ock taunted, holding the unconscious Jared and a struggling Karrisa over the side of the building with is tentacles. "Take off that mask and web up your friend there Spidey, or I drop them both!"

For once, both Tyler and Spider-man had nothing to say.


"Damage report!" Called director Sasha.

"Fires on most of the upper deck, all of our aircraft have been destroyed!" The helmsman shouted.

"Primary stabilizers are offline! Engaging secondaries!" Shouted another officer from the back.

While chaos insued on the bridge, the group of ACMSES agents watched from a ventilation duct as multiple officers struggled to make the damaged craft turn away from the creature they had hoped to subject to their control.

"Batman makes this look so much easier!" Pete said, pushing on the grate with his leg.

"Quite complaining and activate your Lighthopper armor, I figure there's going to be a firefight here before the night is through..." Doug said, loading Copyright darts into his gun.

"Remember, non-lethal shots only," Tash reminded.

"There isn't any other kind when you're using Copyright darts, well I suppose if I scored a shot through an eye or into a major artery..."

"Almost there..." Pete said as the vent began to silently give away.

Chloe summoned her shield and she reached for her sword only to find it wasn't there, then she remembered she had lost it in the Metroid fandom. So she reached into her boot and pulled out her dagger instead. "Crude, but necessary..." She whispered to herself.

"And... Now!" Pete brought his foot back and delivered a powerful kick to the vent, it popped off it's hinges and fell to he floor. Nobody noticed this subtle movement in the chaos of the moment until Tash leapt out of the vent.

"You are under arrest for manipulation of canon and distortion of continuity!" She yelled, drawing Nephthys.

Doug took that opportunity to open fire and strike as many S.H.I.E.L.D. agents as he could, while being extremely careful to avoid hitting the personnel piloting the ship or rerouting power to keep it airborne, they could not afford to be distracted.

"Fools," Sasha said, drawing her sidearm and aiming it at Tash, "You should no better than to bring swords and darts to a gun fight."

Pete took this opportunity to open fire from the opening of the vent, the blasts causing the Sue to drop her firearm and causeing her to stumble and fall.

Chloe slid out from behind Pete and flung several of her Rubik's Cubes towards the Sue.

BOOM! The Sue was blown backwards across the room, Tash drew her prohibitor and began sprinting across the bridge.

"I have the Sue Storm device! You cannot win!" The Sue shouted Sliding up against the wall, she drew a remote control out of her pocket and pressed a button. "Oh how rude of me, I've completely forgotten my manners, welcome to the Supreme Headquarters of International Espionage Law-enforcement Division, or as we like to call it, S.H.I.E.L.D."


"That's odd..." Ben said viewing the monitor, "The Sue's power level is still being indicated as that of a Level 5, but the fandom's warpage just jumped to a level more consistent with that of a Level 7... I better have Charis take a look at this monitor."


"You have thirty seconds to take off that mask before I send these two plummeting to their deaths!" Doctor Octopus said, tightening his grip on Jared and Karrisa. Karrisa winced in pain and Jared seemed to stir a little.

"You do realize if you cooperate he's just going to drop them anyway, just so he can get away." Tyler said.

"Of course he is, but I'm not sure if I can catch them both..." Spider-Man said.

"Time's up Spider-man, let's hope these two individuals can bounce!" Doc Ock said as he released his grip, Spider-Man leapt over the side of the building to catch them as the villain began to flee on his tentacle arms. Tyler noticed Jared's Boomhammer lying nearby.

"Let's hope this works!" Tyler said, picking up the hammer and leaping off the side of the building.

Spidey shot out a webline and swooped into Jared when he was about halfway to the ground, but after reaching the highest arc of the swing it was clear that he was not going to make it back in time to catch Karrisa.

"Karrissa, if this doesn't work and we both die, I'm never speaking to you again!" Tyler said, aiming Jared's Boomhammer towards the ground. Karrisa grabbed the handle of the hammer below Tyler's grip.

"Boomhammer!" They both shouted in unison before hitting the ground, the hammer fired a powerful sonic projectile straight downwards as they fell, creating a sonic bubble. The bubble rapidly expanded with a loud boom and launched Tyler and Karrisa back into the air.

"Great timing!" Spider-man said, swinging into the pair and placing them back on the Bugle's roof. "That's the problem with you new heroes, you always try to jump straight into the game with only moderately strong powers and zero combat training, it's a wonder you four didn't get yourselves killed!" Spider-Man said, ripping the webbing off of Rhia's face.

"You shouldn't be too hard on them Spider-Man," Came a voice from the edge of roof. "After all, your first battle with the Taskmaster wasn't all that brilliant either!" Said a redheaded woman wearing a green jumpsuit covered with a strange insignia.

"Who are you?" Rhia shouted, picking up her blades.

"I'm... a Sue, that's all you need to know," said the Sue, "I'm truly proud of the fact that you managed to defeat my little collection of villains, you might be just what I need... it makes me sorry I have to do this." The Sue reached into a pouch and pulled out a handful of dust and threw it on the ground, there was a bright flash, when it faded the Sue was gone.


"She got away..." Grumbled Rhia, stumbling into the monitor room, "But we have more pressing concerns, Jared is injured, go get Valerie!" Rhia shouted as Tyler and Karrissa stumbled in after her supporting Jared's weight on their shoulders.

"I'm on it!" Ben said, running to go get the healer, Jared was in the medical ward withing minutes.


A wave of energy burst forth from the center of the helicarrier, causing even Godzilla to step back from his approach of the helicarrier, giving Nicky and his team the change to fire multiple explosives beneath the creatures feet, Godzilla didn't manage to maintain balance and he crashed heavily into the ground.

Nicky and the Dark Guardians sent up a triumphant woop as Godzilla trashed his limbs into the air. None of them happend to notice the approaching red and gold figure streak across the sky towards the helicarrier.


"Incoming!" Pete shouted as an armor clad figure crashed through the roof.

"Iron Man? seriously? I was hoping for Thor or the Hulk, I'll have to talk to those engineers to see if they installed that device correctly." Sasha muttered from her corner. The entire bridge crew was in shock, unable to comprehend who these people were and where the real director, Colonel Nick Fury was.

"Stand down all of you, you are under arrest for terrorism and interfering with a military operation!" The armored Avenger shouted.

Doug responded by shooting a Copyright dart at him, it bounced harmlessly off of his armor.

"Darn, I was hoping this would be easy..." He said.

"Very well, we shall do this your way!" Iron Man said, raising his arms and powering up his repulsors.

Chloe barely had time to raise her shield and step in front of Tash before one of Iron Man's beams blew both Agents into the wall.

"This is not good, I don't think any of us have the kind of firepower to defeat Iron Man..." Pete said, watching as his laser blasts burst uselessly against his target.

"You have one more chance, stand down!" Iron Man shouted, catching and throwing Doug as he attempted to Copyright him.

Iron Man's only response was in the form of an exploding Rubik Cube toss from Chloe, before the smoke from exploding toys could settle Tash dove into the rising ash. Flames burst from all around Iron Man and enveloped him in searing heat.

"Let's hope that stops him!" Tash said, landing by Doug.

The smoke settled, revealing Iron Man in his red hot glowing armor.

"The Mandarin could teach the four of you quite a few things. You should know my armor's designed to absorb heat like that for breakfast."

"We have to get this guy on the ground where Nicky's heavy artillery has a chance of stopping him." Pete said.

"Nicky's come armed equipment designed to battle a monster, none of it is small and fast enough to be a threat to Iron Man." Doug said, diving away from a repulsor blast.

"What can we do then?" Pete asked.

"We prohibit the Sue." Tash instructed, "You two draw his fire, me and Chloe will go after the Sue."

"Sounds good to me!" Chloe said, throwing a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent out of the way.


Despite it's initial set back, Godzilla got up and resumed it's course towards New York City with fresh vigor, ignoring the helicarrier that had ceased pursuing it, it even managed to swat the tank that had been annoying it off of the road as it progressed. It felt very pleased with itself.


"Dang it, it's disabled the tank!" Nicky shouted while attempting to staunch the blood coming from a cut on his forehead.

"We don't have enough time to repair it before Godzilla reaches the city, we need to call for reinforcements!" Shouted one of the troopers.

"That's not possible, we were the only forces our author could spare for this mission. What are our other options?" Nicky Yee said.


Aboard the PCMSES vessel

Red lights and alarm bells began blaring from Deraj's lab, the lab's only resident gave a whoop of elation as he threw on his leather jacket.

"Computer: Begin routing power to the Osiris chamber, begin napalm injection and run the Osiris executable." Deraj shouted, as the machines began to comply. His eyes were red from lack of sleep and it was obvious he had not showered or shaven for the last several days. He was loading a shotgun when Eolhc and Retsa came into the room a couple of minutes later.

"What's going on?" Eohlc demanded.

"The my Sue Storm trackers have discovered an active prototype of the device! Get your gear I plan on storming the fandom and taking it back!"

"No you are not!" Retsa said, "We are at a crucial stage in our operation, I will not allow you to jeopardize it by charging off into a fandom."

Deraj finished loading the shotgun and pumped it before holstering it across his back, "With all due respect, I could care less whether or not you permit me to go, Sue Storm is my life's work and I will not permit YOU standing in my way! Osiris, deactivate stealth mode and subdue Retsa!"

Retsa suddenly felt a vice like grip on her left wrist as Osiris materialized into the space beside her just before the cyborg flung her into a row of storage lockers.

"You'll pay for this!" Resta said, getting up and unleashing a white hot beam of flame at Osiris.

Osiris raised his napalm launcher and met Retsa's blast with one of his own, the heat in the lab began to rise rapidly as the leader and the cyborgs stalemate dragged on.

"No Retsa!" Deraj said, wiping sweat from his brow, "If I manage to get Sue Storm back, you will! Osiris, on my mark discharge all weapons simultaneously!"

Deraj grinned. "Now!"

Retsa dropped her burst of flame and raised up a rock shield around her just in time to block a volley of flaming napalm, ballistic missile, high-caliber hand bullets and particle beams. The heat in the lab rose to an almost unbearable level.

"Well, you've had your turn Deraj, you used everything in your power against me and I'm still standing! Let's see if you can do the same!" Retsa said leaping over the rocks. But Deraj, Eohlc and Osiris were nowhere to be found in the burning lab...

"If he ever comes back, he's going to wish he was never born!" Retsa swore to herself.


"I can't hold him!" Pete shouted, as he clung to Iron Man's back in order to attach a Copyright to him.

"You don't have to! I'm seconds away from getting him!" Doug shouted, leaping towards the iron Avenger.
Iron Man ducked and slammed his head into Doug's gut, Doug rocketed backwards.

"They don't call me 'shell head' for nothing!" Iron Man shouted before flinging Pete off.

"End this!" Tash shouted, slashing clean through Sasha's side arm.

"You will be treated well if you'll just turn yourself in!" Chloe said, slamming her shield into the Sue's chest and knocking her down.

"Never!" Sasha gasped as a plothole opened at the far side of the bridge, there was the sound of a roaring engine. "It appears I have reinforcements!"

Deraj's car crashed onto the bridge, slamming anything out of it's way, Doug barely had time to leap aside before getting run over.

Sasha got up and began smiling.

"I believe that's Deraj, he's with the Pro-Cliche and Mary Sue Protection Society and he's going to-"

Sasha's voice was cut of by a loud bang and the sound of window glass being blown out as Deraj fired his shotgun straight through the driver side windshield. The shotgun rounds whizzed through the air and embedded themselves in the sue's shoulder, she dropped like a rock.

"Ah, but why!" she pleaded, as a wild eyed Deraj got out of the car and pumped the shotgun.

Iron Man rocketed towards the new individual, only to be blasted out of the air by one of Osiris' ballistic missiles.

"This units highest priority process is committed to the protection of its creator." Osiris said plainly before transferring power away from its vocal processer to its weapons systems as Iron Man got back up.

Chloe and Tash turned towards Deraj, weapons drawn. Before they could charge however a knife embedded itself in Chloe's leg.

"Gah!" She said, raising her shield in time to block a second strike.

"Show yourself!" Tash shouted.

"I only reveal my presence when the fight is even, and two against one is most certainly not even, so if you don't mind I'll stick to fighting from the shadows!" Elohc said, appearing behind Tash and kicking her legs out from under her before slamming her shield into Chloe's back.

As the agents fought, Deraj continued his advance on the Sue, who was now crawling beneath the instrument panels an an attempt to avoid getting shot.

"Why are you doing this?" She shouted as one of Deraj's shells tore through the panel directly behind her.

"Because..." Deraj began, blowing another hole behind the Sue, "You took my life's work, you took everything!" He shouted, blowing another hole, the Sue screamed as one of the bullets sank into her heel. "In fact, you only left me with two things!" Deraj screamed as the veins in his neck bulged out as he pumped the shotgun a third time, "A gun... and something to shoot at!" Deraj said as he pulled the trigger and the final panel blew apart, the Sue shrieked in pain as the round hit her in the thigh.

"But... but... but the leader said that you had given it to us with your blessing!" Sasha sobbed, holding a hand over her shoulder and thigh wounds.

"He lied." Deraj said, pulling the trigger, the gun gave a dry click.

"A pity, I seem to be out of ammunition, if you'll be so kind as to give me a few seconds to reload I will resume killing you post-haste..." Deraj said, loading cartridges into his gun.

Pete sprung from the shadows and grabbed Deraj from behind, Doug leaped out from in front and grabbed the shotgun, Sasha seized this opportunity to draw out her remote control.

"Computer: activate the Sue Storm devices self-destruct sequence, countdown 60 seconds!" She said, before breaking the remote.

"No!" Deraj shouted, spewing saliva, "Tell me who has my plans! I won't stop until I find them!" Deraj shouted, elbowing Pete in the gut and blasting Doug with earth magic.

"I'll tell you... in fifty seconds!" She said, just as she passed out.

"Deraj! We have to go!" Eohlc said as she was driven back from one of Tash's sword strikes.

"Never! I'm not leaving until this Sue talks!" He said, drawing his Flashbar and his revolver.

Suddenly a mechanical hand shot through the air and latched on to Deraj's arm, the hand suddenly jerked back and threw Deraj off balance and dragged him across the ground towards Osiris just as the cyborg blew Iron Man through the wall with his particle cannon.

"Your safety is in danger, you will leave now." It said, as Deraj attempted to pull free of its grapnel.

"Tash, I'll talk! I'll tell you everything about what the PCMSPS are planning if you help me find my machine! Help me!" He shouted as Osiris flung him into the back of his car.

"Agents retreat! There's nothing more we can do here!" Tash said, before opening up a Plothole.

Before they agents could leap through however a massive explosion ripped through the helicarrier, Tash, Pete, Doug, Chloe, Eohlc, Deraj and Osiris were pushed out of the bridge by the force and began to plummet.

"Plothole generator online!" Chimed Toyotanya's on board computer.

Osiris reached for the button as the car began to fall, but not before Deraj could key in an activation sequence in his wristwatch computer.

"Activating Plothole Scrambler!" The falling cars feminine sounding computer called.

"You idiot! If we don't escape we'll fall to our deaths!" Eohlc shouted.

"I'm not leaving till I track down that Sue, now move over!" Deraj shouted, pushing Osiris out of the driver's seat.


"Doug! My Plothole Generator isn't working!" Chloe shouted.

"Mine isn't either, that dumb Foil Agent just insured our deaths by activating that device of his!" Doug shouted.

"Maybe not, look!" Tash shouted.

Deraj had activated his cars own cannonizer, which had morphed the vehicle into an Avengers Quinjet, it's engines fired and the craft took off towards the burning helicarrier.

"I think I can intercept them!" Tash shouted, the outburst was accompanied with a burst of flaming wings from her back.

The sudden heat from Tash's flames forced the air above them to suddenly rise, causing cold air to take it's place in the form of a downdraft that pushed all the agents downward towards the Quinjet.

"I have a blip on the sensors!" Eolhc reported from the co-pilots seat.

"Ignore it!" Deraj barked, firing the jets booster rockets and flying recklessly close to Godzilla's head, the creature attempted to shoot them down with a blast of fire breath which narrowly missed.

Osiris' eye camera's shifted over to their thermal filter, the cool metal of the cockpit faded away to reveal a glowing mass of orange heat within a sea of purple heading towards them.

Osiris targeted the center of the mass with his particle cannon and fired, the beam blew it's way through the roof of the Quinjet and streaked towards the mass.


"Incoming!" Pete shouted.

Tash spun around beneath the group and put on a fresh burst of heat, the resulting updraft threw them off just enough to avoid injury by the crimson beam.

"I've got the Quinjet in my sights!" Doug reported, aiming Deraj's own shotgun at the craft.


Shells burst through the window of the craft rapidly followed by the group of falling Agents.

"Take care of them! I still need time to collect the readings from the wreck of the helicarrier!" Deraj ordered, maneuvering the craft between Godzilla's claws.

"Die!" Eohlc shouted, slamming her Spartan shield into Doug and Pete.

"No thanks!" Chloe said, launching herself off the stumbling Pete's shoulders and leaping over Eohlc's shield.

Osiris launched its grapnel hand at her in an attempt to protect Eohlc, but Tash severed the cable connecting the hand to the wrist with a sweep from her sword.

Chloe kicked her foot out which connected with Eohlc's jaw, the force of the blow cause Eohlc to stumble back and drop her shield.

"Got her!" Pete shouted, grabbing Eohlc's wrist and holding them behind her back.

Eolhc spit out blood. "NO! I got you!" Eolhc shouted, placing her foot on top of Pete's and pushing back, Pete lost his balance and Eohlc hurled him to the ground.

Eolhc drew her viking longsword. "Let's see if you're still as annoying without your head!" She shouted, swinging her sword down, Doug caught the blade on his own sword before it could part Pete's neck.

"I don't have time for this, Osiris shoot this guy!"

"All combat related resources are currently allocated." Osiris droned, catching Tash's sword in his mechanical hand and driving his knee into her stomach.

"Do I have to do everything myself!" She screamed, before leaping onto Doug's shoulders and using his spine as a springboard to leap into the shadows, disappearing completely.

"I get enough of this sparring with Cristoph..." Doug moaned, scanning the walls.

"Then you think you'd be better prepared for this!" Eolhc said, appearing behind Doug and stabbing him through the shoulder.

"You should no better then to let your guard down, you made yourself vulnerable to give Doug a mere flesh wound, and you don't have time to raise your blade in defense!" Chloe said, lunging.

Without even looking Eolhc thrust out her long leg and kicked Chloe in the gut, causing her to wince and drop her dagger.

"Unarmed and undefended do not mean the same thing!" Eohlc said, pulling her blade out of Doug and spinning towards Pete, who blocked with his Darkhopper weapon.

BOOM! The whole jet shook with a massive impact.

"Blast it! That infernal dinosaur has got a hold of us!" Deraj shouted from the control.

The jet ground to a halt, causing all the agents to pitch forward.

Outside of the jet, Godzilla clung triumphantly to his prize, smoke began billowing from the Quinjet's engines as Deraj pushed every ounce of power he had access to into them.

Godzilla raised the jet up to his eye level and began spying on the occupants.

Fireballs, bullets, shotgun rounds, blobs of burning napalm, ballistic missiles, and the Quinjet's own stock of missile weaponry arced through the air from both teams of agents at the giant monster, the napalm made contact first into the creatures left eye.

Godzilla roared and began to blink furiously as the rest of the projectiles began to make contact, although instead of releasing the craft he began to violently shake it, the agents inside were shaken around like marbles in a twister.

"Analysis complete... Sue Storm tracking program has been installed and uploaded into the Osiris unit's programming."

"About time!" Deraj yelled as he bounced off of a wall, "Osiris, get us out of here!"

The cyborg took careful aim with his missile launcher and fired, the control panel operating the plothole lockout exploded in a shower of sparks. Osiris then grabbed his two colleges as they passed by in the air and activated his personal plothole generator, they vanished from site.

The ACMSES agent's plothole generators hummed to life as the plothole that had been suppressed were suddenly released, throwing them violently back into the Library.

The Quinjet exploded seconds later, throwing car parts everywhere as it reverted back into a Toyota, Deraj sobbed a little as he watched the video feed on his wristwatch computer, the next thing he felt was a metal object impacting the base of his skull.


"You're back! Thank goodness!" Jared moaned from his bed in the medical ward.

"There's nothing to be thankful about, we got pretty banged up and the Sue got away, although I think we would have had Deraj and his posse if Godzilla hadn't interfered." Chloe said, sporting a new arm cast where an impact with the wall had re-injured her.

"How long will you be on bedrest?" Tash asked, sporting several colorful bruises of her own.

"About a week, it's not the first time I've been Boomhammered..." Jared muttered, "Besides, I have an excellent attending physician..."

"Yes Valerie is quite skilled..." Chloe began to say before a tiny plastic army doctor parachuted down from an air vent.

"Hello, I am the Plastic Surgeon in both name and title, now I must ask you all to leave, my patient requires time to heal."

"Jared... you didn't..." Chloe muttered.

"Well, I can't afford the time to fix up my LPGB every time Shirley attacks them, so it only made sense to design a medical officer..."

"But why is he treating YOU?" Chloe started.

"Because I'm their leader, it would damage their moral beyond recovery if I allowed someone else to patch me up. Don't worry, he more than qualified with the amount of medical information stored in his brain."

"Jared, sometimes you worry me." Chloe muttered as the tiny plastic doctor began shooing her away.


Deraj woke up strapped into one of the Society's healing machines, a device created to instantly heal the wounds of it's user. He couldn't imagine why though, he hadn't been hurt on the mission, so why would he need healing?

Then he saw Retsa walk into the room, he let out a small gulp.

He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Retsa.

"Don't bother calling your little Frankenstein monster, I've had him taken off-line... are you ready for your punishment?" She asked before slicing a knife across Deraj's arm, Deraj gasped at the injury, but it wasn't open for more then a second before the healing machine sealed it.

"Using a medical machine to inflict pain, how crude..." He said, pulling at one of his restraints, not an attempt to break it but rather attempting to get a grasp of his situation.

"Perhaps, but we'll have plenty of time together to plan out something more creative before-"

"You kill me?"

"No, I've already decided that your usefulness merits your continued survival, but you will no longer be given such unlimited access to our equipment."

"Fair enough, is that all?"

"Yes, I think it is..." Retsa said before swinging the knife again. Deraj started screaming, and he didn't stop until the next morning.

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