Inara sat up in her bed and yawned. She winced as her left arm accidentally hit her nightstand. She hopped out of bed and threw on a Batman t-shirt and jeans before grabbing breakfast. Another day, another 24 hours of dodging Shirley. She had also been poking around to see what the other agents knew about Willie.
This amounted to pretty much nothing. Really, the guy was less open around other people than her. Inara was brought out of her musings by a blast of purple-black fire scorching the hallway.
"Stay away from the manga Shirley!" Willie shouted from down the hallway. Shirley, looking very much like she wanted to do very horrible and painful things to him, walked, er, hovered, flew, okay, went down the burned out hallway mumbling things that should never be repeated in front of your grandmother.
"Hey! Wait up!" Inara shouted as Willie turned and went down another hallway. The sound of a door slamming echoed and Inara dropped her head. Of course her one chance of talking to him ended with her being ignored. Lovely.
Inara walked down the hallway, almost growling in frustration. "Stupid Platinum Elite Four…" She muttered to herself. Inara frowned in confusion as she heard some boy singing. It was really good singing too. But for some odd reason it was a Disney song… She shook her head lightly and went to check it out.
The singing was coming from a room a few doors down; the door slightly ajar.
"Oh, you have got to be freaking kidding me."
Willie was in the middle of the room singing Poor Unfortunate Souls. From what she could tell he was also trying to dance; the key word being "try." Inara burst out laughing. It wasn't every day you saw a vicious murderer singing a Disney song and dancing really really badly. Willie whipped around to see where the laughter was coming from and turned bright red.
"Are you done laughing at me yet?" Willie was still bright red and looking extremely annoyed . "J- Just a few more seconds" And she laughed for a few more seconds. Sixteen, to be exact. "I'm sorry, but that's hilarious, I've got to tell some of the other Agents." Inara had finished laughing about halfway through her first sentence and was now giggling uncontrollably.
Willie froze and a 'deer in the headlights' look appeared on his face. "Don't tell anyone. Please."
"I won't, but why not?" Inara crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Because they'll lose respect for me if they know I sing." Inara blinked and just looked at Willie like he had said he that Shirley hated violence.
Inara then started to laugh again; almost doubling over. Willie blinked for a few seconds until he realized exactly how stupid that reason was and started laughing along with her.
"Hey, do you need some training?" Willie asked. "Why do you ask?" Inara asked him tilting her head to the side; her eyes narrowing slightly. "Because you got your ass handed to you by a level two Sue; and I had to save you, Miss Damsel in Distress." Inara glared at him.
"I am no Damsel in Distress! Messing up on your first mission doesn't do that. Everyone screws up on their first mission. Plus, you're girlier than I am, Disney Boy." Inara glared at him. "In fact, I bet I can kick your ass!"
"You're on!" Willie shouted. As of this point they were both pissed off at each other. Way to go, Willie, you're a douche.
Luckily, for the two, who wanted to fight more than was probably good for them, the room they were in was pretty big and had hardly any furniture.
"Looks like I'll get some recompense for you spying on me!" Willie said while entering a traditional, "come and get me," pose.
"We'll see, Disney Boy!" Inara retorted, drawing her leg back in preparation for a charge.
"Then let's begin," he said, immediately running forward and punching her right in the stomach! However, Inara just grunted a bit.
"Is that the best you got?" she said snidely, before lifting her leg and planting a kick right his chest, sending him flying backwards. However, he merely dug his feet in and toppled head over heels, avoiding a hard collision with the wall.
"Heh, you're not much better. Try this on for size!" At that, Willie jumped into the air, descending with his foot first a la Boot to the Head, but was blocked by Inara bringing her hands up above her head, which slowed the strike enough to make it near painless. However, Willie just used her head as a stepping stone and leaped off, landing lightly and turning his torso toward her, only for her to turn around first.
"Try this!" she said, before pulling her arm back and launching it with a cry of, "I AM A MAN!" Willie just jumped out of her reach, causing her to be caught off balance and nearly fall over.
"Okay, I'm not even going to begin to explain why you can't use that line. However, let me give you some advice!" Willie said before running forward and planting a kick on her jaw. "Never attempt to punch someone who can get away!" he continued as Inara fell over on her back, groaning in pain.
"I suppose that's it," he said, turning around and sighing about the short duration of the fight, when he heard the sound of breathing right behind him. He turned quickly, and was shocked to see Inara standing up!
"And here's a lesson to you. Never turn your back on a dangerous opponent!" she said, before punching him with all her might. Unfortunately for her he caught the punch and hit her in the jaw; knocking her down. She takes a lot of abuse there.
The punch didn't keep her down for long though and Inara was back up in a flash. She kneed Willie in the stomach which pushed him back a bit. Before he could recover Inara kicked him in the face, knocking him down.
"You give?" Inara asked; crouching slightly in case the spar continued. "Yeah, yeah, I give." Willie rubbed his face where Inara's foot had connected. That patch of skin was already starting to turn an ugly purple.
"How did I get my ass kicked by a thirteen year old?" Willie mumbled under his breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Can you speak up?" Inara's smirk had grown to the point that it was almost psychotic. Willie just made a noise and averted his eyes.
Inara stuck her tongue out at him and leaned against a nearby wall. She coughed lightly and took a drink from the water bottle that had appeared from… somewhere.
"I have just one question: Why the AT4W quote?" Willie asked;,confused. Inara shrugged. "I felt like it and the Author wanted me to." As expected, the Fourth Wall broke. As per routine Adrian was shouting, Aster was being blamed, Tyler triggered a booby trap, and Ben took the opportunity to nuke something.
"So, why do you never really talk to anyone? I never do, but I'm new." Inara said looking at Willie with blatant curiosity. Willie just made a noise and looked away. "I heard you used to belong to some other organization; does it have anything to do with that? You don't have to tell me if you don't really want to though." Inara looked down at her feet, her shoulders slumping slightly.
"Nah, I'll tell you. It's not like you won't hear it later anyway. But sit down; it's a bit of a long one."
-
Insert Multichapter Flashback......... HERE!
-
"What is taking them so long?" Willie said to himself as he stretched out on his bed. "He said that it shouldn't take long to pinpoint the location of the next artifact, but it's been weeks now!" he complained, turning to lay on his side with a scowl. His eyes flickered around the room, looking at the black bookcase, black carpet, black chairs and black desk. Basically everything in his room was black, with the exception of the ceiling, which was a blood-red. Tasteless, yes, but very fitting. He sighed to himself. "Going on missions may be fun, but playing good boy with these idiots is starting to drive me mad," he said, sighing again as he did so. At that moment, his pocket began vibrating, with a few bars of a special theme playing. He immediately perked up, grabbed his phone out of his pocket, and put it to his ear. "You've finally found it?"
"Why yes, my little assassin. Why so shocked?" a strange voice answered. It was practically impossible to discern how the voice sounded, as it kept distorting with every word it spoke. "Did you think that I would let you down?"
"Heh, kinda," Willie replied, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. He then sat up on the bed and got a malicious grin. "So, where is it?"
"That's the best part!" the voice exclaimed. "It's in the Super Paper Mario fandom!" it continued, joy incredibly obvious in its tone.
"Ah, a place near and dear to your heart. How long will it be before Tash contacts me?" Willie replied, getting up out of bed and walking to a chair.
"Right now. Good luck!" the voice said before cutting off. Willie then heard a knocking at the door.
"Coming!" Willie said, hastily putting his phone in his pocket as he walked to the door and opened it, revealing Tash standing there. "To what do I owe this honor?"
"There's a Sue in the Super Paper Mario fandom and you seem to be the one best familiar with it. Can you go immediately?" she asked, looking over the room with a frown.
"Sure thing. After all, the longer we wait, the worse off the fandom becomes, right?" Willie asked, smirking, before pulling out his Plothole Generator, opening a portal and leaping right through it, leaving Tash to close the door and walk off bemused.
-
Moments later, in front of the magnificent structure of Castle Bleck, Willie jumped out of the opening Plothole and landed foot first before going off-balance and falling to the ground as the Plothole vanished. Willie quickly got back up and brushed down his white uniform.
"Okay, next time I practice before doing a move like that," he grumbled, before looking up at the castle and smirking. "So this is where my next target is? Let's see what the deal is," he said, before pulling out his cell phone and scrolling through his options. "Let's see…contacts, murder tips, artifact checklist…ah, here we go! Sue Information!" he exclaimed, safe in the knowledge of the diluted field being projected into the monitor room. His organization had covered all the bases.
"Alright then, what has this Sue done?" he mused, before selecting the Sue Information feature of his phone and reading what came up. "Hmm, apparently her name is Princess Beautiful Magical Mysterious Super Deity Maria PB. Luigi, and she comes from Sammer's Kingdom…? Okay, moving on. Only person in world with teleportation abilities… parents killed by ninjas…escaped before tragic destruction of Sammer's Kingdom and all in it, including protagonists… got the Pure Hearts and challenged Count Bleck… turned him and minions to good… is now marrying Dimentio?" he said, his frustration growing with each bit of text he read. "Why the nerve of this bitch! I ought to…wait," he said, his eyes widening. "She's marrying Dimentio?" he whispered, before his angry frown turned into a grin, and he began laughing with all his might. "The poor stupid Sue just dug her own grave!" he shouted, still laughing like mad as he ran through the castle doors and began slaughtering all in his path.
-
"Oh Maria!" Willie blared, hacking through the Sue-created Koopatrols guarding the door to the bride's room like a deranged butcher. "It's me, your friendly psychopathic arresting officer! Let's have a few rounds before I bring you in!" he exclaimed gleefully, kicking open the doors to her magnificent suite. It had been easy making his way through the "monsters" filling the palace. When Maria, in her kindness, had returned all of Bowser's former minions to their own universe, she had created stronger monsters of her own to take their place. However, "stronger" monsters were still no match for Willie's sword, as they had no preparation for the maniac that he was. He looked around the room, his eyes practically glowing with sadistic glee. The room was pure white, covered with figures of angels and filled with majestic treasures from many worlds, gifts from the grateful public to their soon to be queen. Maria herself was standing in the middle, wearing a beautiful form fitting white dress. Her hair, golden and stunning, fell in soft waves down her back, stopping at her feet. Her eyes were a limpid blue, and her skin was as pale and pure as new fallen snow, contrasted by her blood-red lips.
"Hello, Willie. I've been waiting for you," she said, her voice so rich that it would have sent lesser men into waves of ecstasy. Unfortunately for her, Willie was not a lesser man.
"Oh you have, have you? Then I suppose you know what's going to happen next?" he replied, lifting his black blade, bright red now from the massive amounts of blood coating it.
"Oh, I believe I do. You're going to hit me with that 'Revelation of Truth' attack you like so much, turn me ugly, and then stab or prohibit me while I'm bemoaning the loss of my looks. Luckily for me, I know I'm pure on the inside and as such you changing my appearance will have no-" she said, before being cut off by Willie, of all things, laughing. In fact, not just laughing, practically cackling, much to her surprise and anger. "Hey! What's so funny?" she shouted, her face going red with rage.
"Oh, you're too cute, Maria. You honestly think that I use such amateur tricks on you?" he said, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.
"Amateur… what are you talking about? That's what you've done in every mission that you've gone on! I've researched!" she exclaimed, eyes blazing.
"Oh you poor deluded fool. That style was a cover up, just a trick to keep those Society dimwits from guessing how powerful I really am," he said, before sheathing his sword and then pulling off the glove he wore on his right hand, exposing the strange symbol upon it. He held his hand up for Maria to witness. "Recognize this?"
Maria strained to get a closer look, and then sighed. "Oh god one of those," she said, a frown forming on her features.
"Yes," Willie said, smiling brightly. "This is a top grade magical seal, best in the business. I might not have a huge amount of power to keep sealed up, but I have enough to require something to prevent suspicion. And now you will-" Willie said, before he stopped in shock. Maria wasn't, as he expected, gasping in shock or standing paralyzed in fear. She was just shaking her head and sighing. "Um...why aren't you despairing at the thought of my power? Hikaru just took one look at this seal and she couldn't take it," he said, his eyes baring a confused look.
Maria just kept shaking her head, before looking back up at Willie. "Typical," she said, "Absolutely typical. A little extra power and you think that makes you king of the world. Well let me tell you something, you'd better Sue-proof your doors, because you are definitely Stu material."
Willie looked as though he was choking. "What did you say?" he asked, although it came out more as a strangled gasp.
"I said you're Stu material, didn't you hear me the first time?" Maria replied, her voice practically dripping snark. "I mean look at you. You're all brawn and no brains. Don't you live with a resident magic master who would recognize that seal the moment he saw it? One slip-up with that glove, and your cover would've been blown. And take a look at that outfit," she continued, gesturing to his bloodstained outfit. "Murdering in all white? I don't think so. And doesn't the Society usually watch missions?" she asked.
"Um, yes but… but I have a rerouter system in place!" Willie shouted futilely, trying to make himself look good again. "They'll never notice a thing because they're not seeing the real picture!"
"Yes, but what happens if a techie gets wind of this? Wouldn't someone notice the mainframe's been hacked into? Face it, you're so confident in your power that you forgot some major details, and as such fail. Any day now, someone will break into your frequency and see everything you've been hiding, and then your 'evil plan' will fall completely apart," Maria said, her eyes glinting in triumph.
Willie just stood there for a moment, dumbfounded. Then, to Maria's surprise, he smiled. "Well done. For a Sue, you definitely have a brain on you. I suppose it was too much to hope that no one would notice, but it does feel good to be able to open up to someone," he said softly, his seal starting to pulse.
"Huh? What are you-wait. That energy signature…" she whispered, her eyes beginning to widen as everything finally dawned on her. "You mean…?"
"Yes," he replied, before something strange happened. Although he didn't physically change, he suddenly got an aura of handsomeness and mystery that if anyone else was in the room, would have made them want to worship him. "There's no point in sending me offers, because I'm already a member," he finished, his face contorting into a wicked grin.
"But-but-but, how? How isn't the Society noticing you?" she asked, her eyes actually somewhat fearful.
"It's quite simple actually," Willie replied, before pointing to the still pulsating seal. "This seal may contain much of my magical power, but I'm not the strongest magician, certainly not strong enough to warrant a seal of this caliber. No, the main purpose of this seal is to contain my Suergy, or at least enough of it to escape detection."
"That shouldn't work! That seal is meant to contain magic, not a wavelength!" Maria shouted, with the fact that a Stu was not only in the Society, but still against her causing her anger to go through the roof.
"That's why my organization chose me. I'm only a measly Level 2, so the seal contains enough of my Suergy to protect me. I still come off as somewhat Stuish, but it's a small price to pay. And now you know why the rerouter system will remain working. It's charged with just a bit of Suergy, not much, but just enough to prevent those Society idiots from figuring it out until it's too late," he said, before making a slight gesture with his right hand. At that moment, the mysterious D-Pistol appeared, and Willie aimed at the quivering Maria. "And now that you know everything, I'm afraid I have to kill you. No hard feelings," he said, before firing the gun. The bullet shot forward at an unnatural speed, before piercing Maria right in the throat. She released a gargled scream, before collapsing. Within seconds, her body dissolved completely, leaving behind a magnificent bracelet, pure gold and inlaid with jewels, with the centerpiece being one with the image of a tongue on it.
Willie smiled in satisfaction as he dismissed the gun and walked over to the bracelet, but stopped short of picking it up. "I know you're there, clone. Come out now," he said, before turning around. There, standing behind him, was the quivering figure of Dimentio, his ever present grin gone. "You pathetic piece of crap. How could you let a measly Sue like that overtake your defenses!" he shouted, causing Dimentio to draw back in fear.
"She caught me off guard. Please, spare me!" Dimentio pleaded, his eyes quivering with fright.
"Don't plead to me, plead to your master," Willie replied, before he heard a strange sound behind him. It sounded like the universe folding in on itself, and then unfolding. He grinned at the sound. "Looks like the time to plead is now. Better make it good," he said, before stepping to the side to reveal a familiar darkly colored jester.
"Well now, what do you have to say for yourself?" the second Dimentio asked, his voice distorting after ever word.
"I, I don't know. She surprised me, entering the fandom before I could realize and casting her lure. I couldn't do anything about it!" the first Dimentio whined, hoping that his master would take pity. He got the answer to that seconds later, as his body was obliterated by a starburst of magic.
"That is the price for failure," the second, and original, Dimentio said, before sighing. "I need to start making these clones more durable, that one went down like a house of cards before a mighty wind!" he said, before turning to Willie. "I'm guessing you were successful," he continued, before his grin widened as Willie picked up the Bracelet and handed it to him.
"Here you go. One step closer to the plans completion," Willie said, his Suergy aura vanishing into the seal as he spoke, leaving him looking completely normal once more.
"Yes. We'll begin looking for the next treasure as soon as I return. Keep up the good work, my little assassin. And here, a present from me to you," he said, before waving his hand. In an instant, the glove reappeared on Willie's hand, and the blood vanished from his clothes. "Can't have the Society figuring out who you are while we need their dimensional access. I've also refreshed the anti-snag enchantments on the glove," he continued, the distorted voice ringing with glee.
"Thank you, Master. I'll be awaiting news on the next artifact," he said, before bowing, and repeating the ceremony he had done when leaving the Library, leaving Dimentio alone in the quickly fading bridal suite.
"It's so hard to find good help these days," Dimentio sighed. "Ah well, clones are clones. It will be a shame when I have to kill Willie. Trained assassins are hard to find, but I can't have any Sues clogging my perfect worlds," he muttered, before vanishing as well, leaving his home fandom behind to heal.
This amounted to pretty much nothing. Really, the guy was less open around other people than her. Inara was brought out of her musings by a blast of purple-black fire scorching the hallway.
"Stay away from the manga Shirley!" Willie shouted from down the hallway. Shirley, looking very much like she wanted to do very horrible and painful things to him, walked, er, hovered, flew, okay, went down the burned out hallway mumbling things that should never be repeated in front of your grandmother.
"Hey! Wait up!" Inara shouted as Willie turned and went down another hallway. The sound of a door slamming echoed and Inara dropped her head. Of course her one chance of talking to him ended with her being ignored. Lovely.
A Few Hours Later
Inara walked down the hallway, almost growling in frustration. "Stupid Platinum Elite Four…" She muttered to herself. Inara frowned in confusion as she heard some boy singing. It was really good singing too. But for some odd reason it was a Disney song… She shook her head lightly and went to check it out.
The singing was coming from a room a few doors down; the door slightly ajar.
"Oh, you have got to be freaking kidding me."
Willie was in the middle of the room singing Poor Unfortunate Souls. From what she could tell he was also trying to dance; the key word being "try." Inara burst out laughing. It wasn't every day you saw a vicious murderer singing a Disney song and dancing really really badly. Willie whipped around to see where the laughter was coming from and turned bright red.
"Are you done laughing at me yet?" Willie was still bright red and looking extremely annoyed . "J- Just a few more seconds" And she laughed for a few more seconds. Sixteen, to be exact. "I'm sorry, but that's hilarious, I've got to tell some of the other Agents." Inara had finished laughing about halfway through her first sentence and was now giggling uncontrollably.
Willie froze and a 'deer in the headlights' look appeared on his face. "Don't tell anyone. Please."
"I won't, but why not?" Inara crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Because they'll lose respect for me if they know I sing." Inara blinked and just looked at Willie like he had said he that Shirley hated violence.
Inara then started to laugh again; almost doubling over. Willie blinked for a few seconds until he realized exactly how stupid that reason was and started laughing along with her.
"Hey, do you need some training?" Willie asked. "Why do you ask?" Inara asked him tilting her head to the side; her eyes narrowing slightly. "Because you got your ass handed to you by a level two Sue; and I had to save you, Miss Damsel in Distress." Inara glared at him.
"I am no Damsel in Distress! Messing up on your first mission doesn't do that. Everyone screws up on their first mission. Plus, you're girlier than I am, Disney Boy." Inara glared at him. "In fact, I bet I can kick your ass!"
"You're on!" Willie shouted. As of this point they were both pissed off at each other. Way to go, Willie, you're a douche.
Luckily, for the two, who wanted to fight more than was probably good for them, the room they were in was pretty big and had hardly any furniture.
"Looks like I'll get some recompense for you spying on me!" Willie said while entering a traditional, "come and get me," pose.
"We'll see, Disney Boy!" Inara retorted, drawing her leg back in preparation for a charge.
"Then let's begin," he said, immediately running forward and punching her right in the stomach! However, Inara just grunted a bit.
"Is that the best you got?" she said snidely, before lifting her leg and planting a kick right his chest, sending him flying backwards. However, he merely dug his feet in and toppled head over heels, avoiding a hard collision with the wall.
"Heh, you're not much better. Try this on for size!" At that, Willie jumped into the air, descending with his foot first a la Boot to the Head, but was blocked by Inara bringing her hands up above her head, which slowed the strike enough to make it near painless. However, Willie just used her head as a stepping stone and leaped off, landing lightly and turning his torso toward her, only for her to turn around first.
"Try this!" she said, before pulling her arm back and launching it with a cry of, "I AM A MAN!" Willie just jumped out of her reach, causing her to be caught off balance and nearly fall over.
"Okay, I'm not even going to begin to explain why you can't use that line. However, let me give you some advice!" Willie said before running forward and planting a kick on her jaw. "Never attempt to punch someone who can get away!" he continued as Inara fell over on her back, groaning in pain.
"I suppose that's it," he said, turning around and sighing about the short duration of the fight, when he heard the sound of breathing right behind him. He turned quickly, and was shocked to see Inara standing up!
"And here's a lesson to you. Never turn your back on a dangerous opponent!" she said, before punching him with all her might. Unfortunately for her he caught the punch and hit her in the jaw; knocking her down. She takes a lot of abuse there.
The punch didn't keep her down for long though and Inara was back up in a flash. She kneed Willie in the stomach which pushed him back a bit. Before he could recover Inara kicked him in the face, knocking him down.
"You give?" Inara asked; crouching slightly in case the spar continued. "Yeah, yeah, I give." Willie rubbed his face where Inara's foot had connected. That patch of skin was already starting to turn an ugly purple.
"How did I get my ass kicked by a thirteen year old?" Willie mumbled under his breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that. Can you speak up?" Inara's smirk had grown to the point that it was almost psychotic. Willie just made a noise and averted his eyes.
Inara stuck her tongue out at him and leaned against a nearby wall. She coughed lightly and took a drink from the water bottle that had appeared from… somewhere.
"I have just one question: Why the AT4W quote?" Willie asked;,confused. Inara shrugged. "I felt like it and the Author wanted me to." As expected, the Fourth Wall broke. As per routine Adrian was shouting, Aster was being blamed, Tyler triggered a booby trap, and Ben took the opportunity to nuke something.
"So, why do you never really talk to anyone? I never do, but I'm new." Inara said looking at Willie with blatant curiosity. Willie just made a noise and looked away. "I heard you used to belong to some other organization; does it have anything to do with that? You don't have to tell me if you don't really want to though." Inara looked down at her feet, her shoulders slumping slightly.
"Nah, I'll tell you. It's not like you won't hear it later anyway. But sit down; it's a bit of a long one."
-
Insert Multichapter Flashback......... HERE!
-
"What is taking them so long?" Willie said to himself as he stretched out on his bed. "He said that it shouldn't take long to pinpoint the location of the next artifact, but it's been weeks now!" he complained, turning to lay on his side with a scowl. His eyes flickered around the room, looking at the black bookcase, black carpet, black chairs and black desk. Basically everything in his room was black, with the exception of the ceiling, which was a blood-red. Tasteless, yes, but very fitting. He sighed to himself. "Going on missions may be fun, but playing good boy with these idiots is starting to drive me mad," he said, sighing again as he did so. At that moment, his pocket began vibrating, with a few bars of a special theme playing. He immediately perked up, grabbed his phone out of his pocket, and put it to his ear. "You've finally found it?"
"Why yes, my little assassin. Why so shocked?" a strange voice answered. It was practically impossible to discern how the voice sounded, as it kept distorting with every word it spoke. "Did you think that I would let you down?"
"Heh, kinda," Willie replied, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. He then sat up on the bed and got a malicious grin. "So, where is it?"
"That's the best part!" the voice exclaimed. "It's in the Super Paper Mario fandom!" it continued, joy incredibly obvious in its tone.
"Ah, a place near and dear to your heart. How long will it be before Tash contacts me?" Willie replied, getting up out of bed and walking to a chair.
"Right now. Good luck!" the voice said before cutting off. Willie then heard a knocking at the door.
"Coming!" Willie said, hastily putting his phone in his pocket as he walked to the door and opened it, revealing Tash standing there. "To what do I owe this honor?"
"There's a Sue in the Super Paper Mario fandom and you seem to be the one best familiar with it. Can you go immediately?" she asked, looking over the room with a frown.
"Sure thing. After all, the longer we wait, the worse off the fandom becomes, right?" Willie asked, smirking, before pulling out his Plothole Generator, opening a portal and leaping right through it, leaving Tash to close the door and walk off bemused.
-
Moments later, in front of the magnificent structure of Castle Bleck, Willie jumped out of the opening Plothole and landed foot first before going off-balance and falling to the ground as the Plothole vanished. Willie quickly got back up and brushed down his white uniform.
"Okay, next time I practice before doing a move like that," he grumbled, before looking up at the castle and smirking. "So this is where my next target is? Let's see what the deal is," he said, before pulling out his cell phone and scrolling through his options. "Let's see…contacts, murder tips, artifact checklist…ah, here we go! Sue Information!" he exclaimed, safe in the knowledge of the diluted field being projected into the monitor room. His organization had covered all the bases.
"Alright then, what has this Sue done?" he mused, before selecting the Sue Information feature of his phone and reading what came up. "Hmm, apparently her name is Princess Beautiful Magical Mysterious Super Deity Maria PB. Luigi, and she comes from Sammer's Kingdom…? Okay, moving on. Only person in world with teleportation abilities… parents killed by ninjas…escaped before tragic destruction of Sammer's Kingdom and all in it, including protagonists… got the Pure Hearts and challenged Count Bleck… turned him and minions to good… is now marrying Dimentio?" he said, his frustration growing with each bit of text he read. "Why the nerve of this bitch! I ought to…wait," he said, his eyes widening. "She's marrying Dimentio?" he whispered, before his angry frown turned into a grin, and he began laughing with all his might. "The poor stupid Sue just dug her own grave!" he shouted, still laughing like mad as he ran through the castle doors and began slaughtering all in his path.
-
"Oh Maria!" Willie blared, hacking through the Sue-created Koopatrols guarding the door to the bride's room like a deranged butcher. "It's me, your friendly psychopathic arresting officer! Let's have a few rounds before I bring you in!" he exclaimed gleefully, kicking open the doors to her magnificent suite. It had been easy making his way through the "monsters" filling the palace. When Maria, in her kindness, had returned all of Bowser's former minions to their own universe, she had created stronger monsters of her own to take their place. However, "stronger" monsters were still no match for Willie's sword, as they had no preparation for the maniac that he was. He looked around the room, his eyes practically glowing with sadistic glee. The room was pure white, covered with figures of angels and filled with majestic treasures from many worlds, gifts from the grateful public to their soon to be queen. Maria herself was standing in the middle, wearing a beautiful form fitting white dress. Her hair, golden and stunning, fell in soft waves down her back, stopping at her feet. Her eyes were a limpid blue, and her skin was as pale and pure as new fallen snow, contrasted by her blood-red lips.
"Hello, Willie. I've been waiting for you," she said, her voice so rich that it would have sent lesser men into waves of ecstasy. Unfortunately for her, Willie was not a lesser man.
"Oh you have, have you? Then I suppose you know what's going to happen next?" he replied, lifting his black blade, bright red now from the massive amounts of blood coating it.
"Oh, I believe I do. You're going to hit me with that 'Revelation of Truth' attack you like so much, turn me ugly, and then stab or prohibit me while I'm bemoaning the loss of my looks. Luckily for me, I know I'm pure on the inside and as such you changing my appearance will have no-" she said, before being cut off by Willie, of all things, laughing. In fact, not just laughing, practically cackling, much to her surprise and anger. "Hey! What's so funny?" she shouted, her face going red with rage.
"Oh, you're too cute, Maria. You honestly think that I use such amateur tricks on you?" he said, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.
"Amateur… what are you talking about? That's what you've done in every mission that you've gone on! I've researched!" she exclaimed, eyes blazing.
"Oh you poor deluded fool. That style was a cover up, just a trick to keep those Society dimwits from guessing how powerful I really am," he said, before sheathing his sword and then pulling off the glove he wore on his right hand, exposing the strange symbol upon it. He held his hand up for Maria to witness. "Recognize this?"
Maria strained to get a closer look, and then sighed. "Oh god one of those," she said, a frown forming on her features.
"Yes," Willie said, smiling brightly. "This is a top grade magical seal, best in the business. I might not have a huge amount of power to keep sealed up, but I have enough to require something to prevent suspicion. And now you will-" Willie said, before he stopped in shock. Maria wasn't, as he expected, gasping in shock or standing paralyzed in fear. She was just shaking her head and sighing. "Um...why aren't you despairing at the thought of my power? Hikaru just took one look at this seal and she couldn't take it," he said, his eyes baring a confused look.
Maria just kept shaking her head, before looking back up at Willie. "Typical," she said, "Absolutely typical. A little extra power and you think that makes you king of the world. Well let me tell you something, you'd better Sue-proof your doors, because you are definitely Stu material."
Willie looked as though he was choking. "What did you say?" he asked, although it came out more as a strangled gasp.
"I said you're Stu material, didn't you hear me the first time?" Maria replied, her voice practically dripping snark. "I mean look at you. You're all brawn and no brains. Don't you live with a resident magic master who would recognize that seal the moment he saw it? One slip-up with that glove, and your cover would've been blown. And take a look at that outfit," she continued, gesturing to his bloodstained outfit. "Murdering in all white? I don't think so. And doesn't the Society usually watch missions?" she asked.
"Um, yes but… but I have a rerouter system in place!" Willie shouted futilely, trying to make himself look good again. "They'll never notice a thing because they're not seeing the real picture!"
"Yes, but what happens if a techie gets wind of this? Wouldn't someone notice the mainframe's been hacked into? Face it, you're so confident in your power that you forgot some major details, and as such fail. Any day now, someone will break into your frequency and see everything you've been hiding, and then your 'evil plan' will fall completely apart," Maria said, her eyes glinting in triumph.
Willie just stood there for a moment, dumbfounded. Then, to Maria's surprise, he smiled. "Well done. For a Sue, you definitely have a brain on you. I suppose it was too much to hope that no one would notice, but it does feel good to be able to open up to someone," he said softly, his seal starting to pulse.
"Huh? What are you-wait. That energy signature…" she whispered, her eyes beginning to widen as everything finally dawned on her. "You mean…?"
"Yes," he replied, before something strange happened. Although he didn't physically change, he suddenly got an aura of handsomeness and mystery that if anyone else was in the room, would have made them want to worship him. "There's no point in sending me offers, because I'm already a member," he finished, his face contorting into a wicked grin.
"But-but-but, how? How isn't the Society noticing you?" she asked, her eyes actually somewhat fearful.
"It's quite simple actually," Willie replied, before pointing to the still pulsating seal. "This seal may contain much of my magical power, but I'm not the strongest magician, certainly not strong enough to warrant a seal of this caliber. No, the main purpose of this seal is to contain my Suergy, or at least enough of it to escape detection."
"That shouldn't work! That seal is meant to contain magic, not a wavelength!" Maria shouted, with the fact that a Stu was not only in the Society, but still against her causing her anger to go through the roof.
"That's why my organization chose me. I'm only a measly Level 2, so the seal contains enough of my Suergy to protect me. I still come off as somewhat Stuish, but it's a small price to pay. And now you know why the rerouter system will remain working. It's charged with just a bit of Suergy, not much, but just enough to prevent those Society idiots from figuring it out until it's too late," he said, before making a slight gesture with his right hand. At that moment, the mysterious D-Pistol appeared, and Willie aimed at the quivering Maria. "And now that you know everything, I'm afraid I have to kill you. No hard feelings," he said, before firing the gun. The bullet shot forward at an unnatural speed, before piercing Maria right in the throat. She released a gargled scream, before collapsing. Within seconds, her body dissolved completely, leaving behind a magnificent bracelet, pure gold and inlaid with jewels, with the centerpiece being one with the image of a tongue on it.
Willie smiled in satisfaction as he dismissed the gun and walked over to the bracelet, but stopped short of picking it up. "I know you're there, clone. Come out now," he said, before turning around. There, standing behind him, was the quivering figure of Dimentio, his ever present grin gone. "You pathetic piece of crap. How could you let a measly Sue like that overtake your defenses!" he shouted, causing Dimentio to draw back in fear.
"She caught me off guard. Please, spare me!" Dimentio pleaded, his eyes quivering with fright.
"Don't plead to me, plead to your master," Willie replied, before he heard a strange sound behind him. It sounded like the universe folding in on itself, and then unfolding. He grinned at the sound. "Looks like the time to plead is now. Better make it good," he said, before stepping to the side to reveal a familiar darkly colored jester.
"Well now, what do you have to say for yourself?" the second Dimentio asked, his voice distorting after ever word.
"I, I don't know. She surprised me, entering the fandom before I could realize and casting her lure. I couldn't do anything about it!" the first Dimentio whined, hoping that his master would take pity. He got the answer to that seconds later, as his body was obliterated by a starburst of magic.
"That is the price for failure," the second, and original, Dimentio said, before sighing. "I need to start making these clones more durable, that one went down like a house of cards before a mighty wind!" he said, before turning to Willie. "I'm guessing you were successful," he continued, before his grin widened as Willie picked up the Bracelet and handed it to him.
"Here you go. One step closer to the plans completion," Willie said, his Suergy aura vanishing into the seal as he spoke, leaving him looking completely normal once more.
"Yes. We'll begin looking for the next treasure as soon as I return. Keep up the good work, my little assassin. And here, a present from me to you," he said, before waving his hand. In an instant, the glove reappeared on Willie's hand, and the blood vanished from his clothes. "Can't have the Society figuring out who you are while we need their dimensional access. I've also refreshed the anti-snag enchantments on the glove," he continued, the distorted voice ringing with glee.
"Thank you, Master. I'll be awaiting news on the next artifact," he said, before bowing, and repeating the ceremony he had done when leaving the Library, leaving Dimentio alone in the quickly fading bridal suite.
"It's so hard to find good help these days," Dimentio sighed. "Ah well, clones are clones. It will be a shame when I have to kill Willie. Trained assassins are hard to find, but I can't have any Sues clogging my perfect worlds," he muttered, before vanishing as well, leaving his home fandom behind to heal.
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