Thursday, July 7, 2011

Insert Name Ending With "Ix" Here

The two friends, Asterix and Obelix, was walking down the main street of their village, getting cheers from their fellow villagers, just like in the movie. However, instead of it just being them, they had two companions with them.

The first one was a man, with beautiful, black hair, sparkling blue eyes, and the body of a god. He was wearing a black shirt and red pants, which complimented him very nicely, and typical gaulish shoes, which somehow looked very good on him.

The other was a woman with ankle long, blond hair, beautiful and sparkling green eyes, and a body, even Cleopatra could envy, she was wearing a white dress, a blue belt, which looked unbelievably gorgeous on her, and small white shoes.

These two, who were known as Perfectorix and Beautirix, had arrived at the village a few months prior to Caesar coming to suggest the 12 tasks, claiming that they were on the run from the Romans, and that they somehow had gotten through the ring of Roman camps without being discovered. Somehow, the Gauls had accepted this and let them live in the village.

Doing those few months, they performed one good deed after the other, which soon lead to ultimate peace among the villagers, and they soon were heroes of the village. And when Caesar arrived with his offer to give up his empire to the Gauls, if they could solve his 12 tasks, Perfectorix and Beautirix was the ones to be asked first if they would do it, to which they immediately said yes, but then Getafix made the suggestion that Asterix and Obelix should go with them as bodyguards, in case something happened, to which everybody agreed.

They exited the village, where they met up with Caius Tiddlus. They then went to the edge of the forest, where they met Asbestus, the runner from Marathon, who they were supposed to race from one end of the forest to the other "I'll take this one." Beautirix before she removed a few locks of her perfect hair, from her perfect face in one perfect motion.

"Yeah, we'll wait for you by the finish line at the other end of the forest." Caius said, before he put an hourglass on top of a tree stump and continued "You may begin once the sand has run through." Then he and the other 3 men walked on to the finish line to wait.

Perfectorix, Asterix, Obelix and Caius was waiting with anticipation on who would come out first. Suddenly they saw Beautirix coming out of the forest at breakneck speed, before she came to a screeching halt in front of the others. She didn't have as much as a spec of dirt on her, and she didn't even look like she had broken a sweat from the running "Hi guys." She said, without the slightest hint of being breathless, and moved a lock of her beautiful, blond hair behind her ear.

While Perfectorix, Asterix and Obelix congratulated Beautirix, Caius scratched the task, and told them to follow him to the next.

A few minutes after they had left the forest edge, Asbestus came out of the forest, breathing heavily. He looked around, and quickly realized that there was nobody but himself, he kicked the dirt once out of disappointment and started walking away.


In the Library Arcanium, Pete and Joe, 2 newly assigned members to the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society, was sitting in the kitchen, and enjoying some milk and Oreos, and small talking.

"So, when do you think we'll get a mission so we can become agents?" Joe asked, he had dark green eyes, and dark brown hair, and looked to be around 20 years old. He wore a futuristic black suit, with matching boots, and on his wrist, he had a wristwatch like device, filled with a black fluid.

"It can't be long, even if we screwed up a few times." Pete said as he dipped an Oreo in his milk. Pete had dirty blond hair and light green eyes, and also looked like he was 20. He wore white jacket, a green T-shirt with a white grasshopper design on it, green jeans with a black flame design on them, and white sneakers with all sorts of stickers on.

Joe shrugged and was about to dip another cookie, when his communicator started beeping. He pulled it from the pouch he had on the back of his suit, pressed the receiver button, put it to his ear and said "Hello."

"Joe, get down in library, and take Pete with you, it's time for your training mission." Tash said on the other end of the communicator.

"Okay, we'll be right there." Joe shut off the communicator and put it away, he then looked at Pete and said "We got our mission." Pete smiled, they emptied their glasses, and left the kitchen, without thinking about their Oreos, and the very high possibility that they would get eaten.

When they entered the library, Tash was standing ready to give them their mission "Great, you're here, let's get to it." Tash said, she leaned herself against a table before she continued "We've got a Mary-Sue, and a Gary-Stu in the Asterix fandom, and since you know a thing or 2 about this fandom, we think this will be a perfect training mission for you."

"We will do our best." Pete said, before pulling out his plothole generator, and soon, he and Joe were on their way to their first mission.

They exited the plothole onto the seats of a large arena, with a pair of huge doors in one end, and an entrance at the other which didn't have any doors. The two agents looked around for a moment, before Joe finally asked "Where are we, I don't remember this movie very well?".

"I believe we're in the arena of Cilindric, the German. By the way, nice threads dude." Pete said before he started laughing, while pointing at Joes clothes, the black suit and boots had been replaced with a black shirt and pants with white stripes, and his boots with a pair of gaulish shoes.

Joe looked down at his clothes, and then back at Pete and started laughing himself. "Well, you aren't exactly an icon of fashion either," Joe said and pointed at Pete, he was dressed in similar clothes, but these were green and white instead of black and white.

They both laughed for a little while, before Pete saw a group of people nearing the arena. "Well, there comes trouble," he said, and pointed at the group.

"So do we kick their butts now or what?" Joe asked.

"Are you nuts?" Pete said and pointed at the huge doors, before continuing "One of this movies toughest opponents is in there, and if the Sue and the Stu gets control over him, they'll almost be unstoppable."

Joe gulped and asked. "Is he really that powerful?"

"Yeah, he can throw Obelix around like a yoyo, so we might as well sit down, until they're done," Pete said and sat down, Joe did the same, just as the group entered the arena.

"Look Asterix, there's audience for this task," Obelix said and pointed to the 2 agents, who was sitting on the arenas seats.

Asterix looked up at the agents, and said to Obelix, "We better keep an eye on them, just in case they want to hurt Perfectorix and Beautirix."

"Okay," Obelix said, and watched as the enormous doors open, and the short, fat Cilindric came out into the arena. The fight was over in seconds, Perfectorix had cheated Cilindric into attacking him first, and soon after, he had his legs literally bound behind his head.

Joe looked at Pete. "Now?"

"Now," Pete said. They raised from their seats, and started walking down towards the group, while saying "Alright you 2, you've had your fun, now come with us, you're under arrest."

Perfectorix and Beautirix gave a perfectly confused look at the 2 agents "Who are you?" Beautirix asked as she moved a lock of her beautiful hair behind her ear.

"Agent rookie Pete," Pete said as he flashed his badge, which was hanging from a chain around his neck.

"And agent rookie Joe," Joe said as he pulled his own badge out of the pouch that was attached to his belt.

"Of the Anti-cliché and Mary-Sue elimination society," Ttey said in unison.

"You'll never get Perfectorix and Beautirix, we're the strongest and most perfect people in this world. And exactly, for which crimes are we being charged?" Perfectorix asked, and ran a hand through his perfect black hair.

"You're being charged for ruining the storyline of this fandom, and doing things, the canon characters were meant to do," Joe said.

"Are you going to come freely, or do we have to use force, because if you com freely, it would save us a lot of troubles," Pete said in an attempt to reason with the Sue and the Stu.

"Then I'm afraid you'll have to do it the hard way. Asterix, Obelix, will you be so kind and get rid of these 2, they irritate us?" Beautirix asked with her sweetest, honey coated voice.

"Of course Beautirix, it'll be an honor, right Obelix?" Asterix asked his best friend.

"You betcha." Obelix said as he rubbed his hands against each other.

"Goodbye rookies, hope you said your prayers." Beautirix said before she started walking out of the arena together with Caius and Perfectorix.

"Oh crud, let's get out of here." Pete said as the 2 Gauls got ready to beat the hell out of them.

"Yeah, let's." Joe said and pulled his Scene Transition from his pouch, and hit the button, just as Asterix and Obelix was about to deliver the first blow.

The 2 agents walked into the city where the 8th task was supposed to take place, and while they walked, they experienced the flashbacks that the Scene Transition created, after being activated. They had been hit by Asterix and Obelix, and send directly into the seats of the arena, where they stayed knockouted for several hours. When they finally regained consciousness, they agreed to just shadow the Beautirix and Perfectorix until the right time came, and after planning for some time, they had come to the conclusion that the best time for an attack would be at the 8th task, since there were so many places they could hide and attack from within 'The place that sends you mad'.

They entered the plaza where 'The place that sends you mad' was located, they took a quick look around, and saw Caius Tiddlus sitting outside a small café, they looked at each other briefly before they went over and sat down at the table Caius was sitting at "Oh, it is you, what do you want?" Caius asked without any hints of surprise in his voice.

"We just wanted to warn you about the ones who are completing the tasks, they aren't from this world." Pete said.

"I am aware of this fact." Caius and looked the 2 agents directly in the eyes before continuing "They have been completing the tasks far to quickly, this have led me to believe that they might not belong here."

"We hope you know, that we have to remove them from this world." Joe said.

"I don't really care. If they disappear, there will be no one to complete the remaining tasks, and their village will belong to the roman empire. So go ahead, you will only be doing me a favor." Caius said. In that moment, Pete and Joe saw a huge tile near a fountain, started to lift. They said a hastily goodbye to Caius, and ran into 'The place that sends you mad'.

Not long after, Perfectorix and Beautirix entered the building, they had asked Asterix and Obelix to stand guard outside, in case the 2 agents came back to stop them "I guess we've scared them away." Beautirix said and chuckled perfectly.

"They must have realized, that we're just too perfect to be arrested by them." Perfectorix said and put his hands behind his head.

"Well, not exactly, you're just boring." Pete said before he snapped a prohibitor on Perfectorixses wrist. He and Joe had been hiding in the corridors of the building, and then snuck up behind the Sue and the Stu as they passed, and now they were both wearing prohibitors, a bright light filled the room, which meant that the fandom had returned to normal.

"Alright, and that's a wrap." Joe said as he high-fived Pete.

"Not until we have won." Perfectorix said as he and Beautirix unhooked a pair of gourds from their belts.

"No way, where did you get those, they should've vanished when the prohibitor was activated." Pete said in surprise.

"Well, as Asterix says at the end of the movie 'It's only a cartoon, anything goes'." Perfectorix said as he and Beautirix started drinking from the gourds, and soon after bright flashes of light came from their bodies.

"Oh crud." Both agents said, as the lightshow subsided from the Sue and the Stu.

"Oh yeah." Beautirix said as she and Perfectorix tore the prohibitors off their wrists, thereby maximizing the effect, the magic potion had on them. Outside 'the place that sends you mad', 2 loud smack noises could be heard, and quickly after that, Pete and Joe came flying out of the building, where they landed very hard. Beautirix and Perfectorix walked lazily out of the building shortly after, and looked mockingly at the two agents, as they slowly got to their feet.

Pete cracked his neck once before he looked at Joe and said "I think we should level the playing field a little."

"I think so too." Joe said as he checked his nose to see if it was broken. The two agents stood up, and turned around to face the Sue and the Stu "Alright, let's do this. Activating biosuit." Joe said and pushed the green button on the wristwatch like device, which made 4 sections of the machine slide out and released the black liquid. The liquid started covering his entire body, forming a tight, black suit with red, evil looking eyes, his fingers became long, and claw like, and when the liquid retracted to where his fingers normally ended, it looked as if he had grown 5 long, razor sharp claws. He took a fighting stance and was ready to fight.

"Henshin, darkness." Pete said in a heroic tone. A black belt with a thick buckle materialized around his waist, the buckle had a grasshopper engraved on it. The corners slid out a little, and what looked like black sparkling dust, but was actually huge amounts of nanobots, came out, and started to cover his body. The dust started to form a black suit, together with a black helmet with red bug like eyes, modeled after a grasshopper, and black and silver armor.

"What the hell?" Perfectorix asked.

"Time to get your butts out of this fandom." Joe said, his voice sounding a bit like he was talking through water.

Pete cracked his knuckles once, and then ran up and tackled Beautirix. She, however, was quick to clear her cobwebs and boot him away.

Joe also move in on his pray, but instead of rushing in, he started slashing at Perfectorix with his claws. Perfectorix used the quickness he got from the potion, and managed to get from most of them, but he still got hit a few times, yet the cuts didn't make him looks less beautiful. Joe finally had enough, and jumped back, and with a flick of his wrist, he send the claws flying like projectiles. Perfectorix jumped to the side, to avoid the razor sharp claws coming at him, but even with his Sueish powers at work, he still got struck in his left shoulder and leg. Joe quickly reached through his suit and pulled out a prohibitor, he quickly ran over and placed the bracelet like device on the Stus arm, a flash of light came and gone was Perfectorixses Sue powers, together with the power of the magic potion. Joe quickly removed the gourd of potion from the Stus belt and threw it away.

"Perfectorix!" Beautirix yelled with perfect concern in her voice. This gave Pete the distraction he needed, he pulled at the sides of the belt to reveal what looked like a camera lens, electricity shot from the lens and traveled up his arm to his fist. He charged at the Sue and slammed his fist straight into her stomach, making her fly a few meters. Beautirix shaked her head, and quickly stood up, only to be tackled by Pete who tried to hold her down, she looked over at Perfectorix and yelled "You're useless Perfectorix, you can't even save your woman, when she's in need!" She then kneed Pete in the crouch. A pitiful sound came from the agent, and he immediately rolled of the Sue, giving her time to get up and open a plothole, she turned around and said, "Later losers!" before jumping through the hole.


"So you got the Stu, but the Sue got away?" Tash asked as she looked up from the report, Pete and Joe had brought her.

"Yes, unfortunately," Pete said.

"Well, none the less, you did an excellent job in the capturing of this Stu, I therefore pronounce you full agent of the Anti-cliché and Mary-Sue elimination society." Tash said and she handed them a pair of badges that showed that they were now full agents of the society.

Joe and Pete was walking down the halls of the Library Arcanium, admiring their new badges "This is so cool." Pete said and let his fingers run over the golden badge.

"It sure is." Joe said as he did the same "Well, now what?" he asked.

"How about some milk and Oreos." Pete said.

"Sounds good to me." Joe said.

The two agents suddenly stopped dead in their tracks and looked at each other, realizing that they had forgotten to hide the cookies before they left "OUR OREOS!" They screamed, and dashed down the hallway, and into the kitchen, to find a flock of female agents, who had just returned from a mission themselves, getting ready to throw themselves over Pete's and Joe's Oreos.

"Hold it right there!" Joe yelled threateningly, this made the girls look at Pete and Joe "Put the cookies down, and nobody gets hurt." Joe continued in a slightly softer tone.

The girls looked at the two agents for a moment, then at each other, before they lifted the box of Oreos up high, and dashed out the other door.

"Activating biosuit." Joe said and pushed the green button, on the biosuit containment unit.

"Henshin, darkness." Pete said and made the black belt appear.

Anyone in library got quite the scare, when they heard someone scream "GIVE BACK OUR OREOS." Followed shortly by terrified, female screams.

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