Sunday, April 10, 2011

Insert Inexplicable Twist of Fate Here

The Library Aracanium. A mystical, magical Library that exists between everywhere and everywhen, and it seems to be almost infinite, as no one has ever found the exit door. (Not that the really want to. Who knows where it might lead?) Home to the equally magical and very mysterious oddball Librarian, the Library Aracanium is filled with the knowledge of the ages and is a quiet, serene place…

"This SUCKS!"

Seated at a desk and surrounded by towering stacks of paper, Lauren, Dainelle and Miriku were all busy scribbling stuff on the papers, Lauren having been the one to have spoken.

"Why do we have to do this paperwork, anyway?" She growled as she ground her pencil into a sheet of paper as she wrote something across the top. "All of it's completely useless!"

"But it's strangely necessary," Adrian, his trenchcoat billowing behind, said as he walked into the room, his hair still rather mussed up and a bandage on his left cheek. "For some reason, the Elimination Society needs this paperwork to function."

"And what if we don't do it?" Miriku asked, depositing a sheet of paper in the tray marked 'DONE" and pulling one from a much larger stack in the tray marked 'To Be Done' and beginning to write.

The Librarian winced. "We tried not to do any paperwork for a week and didn't even make it one day. The Library started acting strange, we couldn't the get the portals to open and the paperwork began to breed, filling up several rooms in the span of a few hours."

Okay…" Lauren glared at the Librarian. "Why are we doing it!"

He re-adjusted his trenchcoat and smiled at her. "Because you're the person in charge of Elimination Society finances and sadly, the Society can't afford to back the food bill from all the sweets you've mooching off of me. So instead, you have to do the paperwork."

"But the Society already does the paperwork anyway! What do you get out it!"

"Tash would have made me do it because I trapped her in one too-many booby-traps when she tried to steal my cookies, but since you guys can't afford to pay my food bill, I get to make you do it instead of me." He smiled smarmily at them. "Isn't it nice how it all works out?"

"What about all the others?" Danielle asked, scowling as she crumpled up a form and tossed it into an over-full wastebasket before grabbing another to start over with. "Why aren't they helping us?"

"Some of them are." Adrian told them. "But there's more than one room full of paperwork to be done. And a few of the other Agents are busy. Michael's is researching something about the Pokémon world, as he thinks a Sue might strike there soon. Marcus is shelving some books…" He paused as loud boom sounded in the distance, followed by a shout of 'TOO MANY BOOKS! NOT ENOUGH SHELF!' "And it appears he's split into his halves. Camille, Doyle and Kyle are busying themselves by working on something down in the lab."

"What about Blake?" Lauren asked. "He's your usual partner, right? So where's he at?"

"Blake's… training... for his duel with Flare."



Blake let out a shout of terror/exhilaration as his D-Wheel ramped off over a sand dune. It was shaped like a regular motorcycle, except it was bulkier and heavier than normal, built to travel at high speeds and take damage. "YEE-HAW!"

The D-Wheel landing with a heavy thud, Blake revved the engine and zipped off, a sand cloud trailing out in his wake. "I'll have to thank Adrian for setting me up with this training room. I could definitely use the practice…" He glanced at the mini-screen set in his helmet's visor, which showed a mini-map, a green dot representing him. "But he said that I'd be able to get some dueling practice in and I haven't really encountered anyone else…"

Just then, a second motor roared and a sand dune burst apart as a second D-Wheel plowed right through it. Blake threw up an arm to protect himself from the shower of sand and watched as the second biker pulled up alongside. He gasped…

They were driving a motorcycle that was colored a blue/white and resembled a Blue-Eyes White Dragon. The driver, his white trenchcoat flapping in the wind behind him, fixed Blake with a hard stare through his helmet's visor and held pushed a button on his control panel, a duel disk built into his bike shifting into active mode. (SKLP: 4000)

"Easy, my foot…" Blake gulped and pressed a button his bike, his own disk activating. (BLP: 4000)


"And Tash is on monitor duty." Adrian finished explaining. "I-" He broke off as something his pocket beeped and he pulled out his communicator, flipping it open as he did so. "This is Adrian. Talk."

"It's Tash." The British-accented voice of the Elimination Society's De-Facto leader came through the speaker. "I've just gotten a hit from Runoa. She's shown up in a fandom."

"With the Holy Grail Copy?" The Librarian asked. As part of his duties as the Librarian, he'd been entrusted with the location of a copy of the legendary Holy Grail. Unfortunately, the Mary-Sue called Runoa had recently managed to defeat Adrian in a duel and steal the powerful artifact, forcing the Librarian to devote most of his resources into finding her. There was no telling what a Mary-Sue could do with such a dangerous thing in their possession.

"Apparently so…" The sound of clicking keys could be heard over the communicator as Tash apparently typed something. "Just give me a minute… and I'll give you the fandom she's in…" Another moment of clicking keys. "Bollocks…"

"Tash?" Adrian raised an eyebrow. It wasn't often he heard his superior use words like that. "Which world is it?

"It's Fate/Stay Night…"

For a moment, there was silence as the Librarian paled slightly and the three women doing the paperwork stared at him, confused. Then Adrian blinked and spoke into his communicator. "Keep eye on things with the monitor. I will be right there."

"Actually, I was going to send Michael and Willie to-"

"Absolutely not!" Adrian cut her off. "Wait right there. Do NOT send any Agents to that world." Then he flipped the communicator closed and pocketed it, whirling on his heel and stalking out the door in a hurry.

"I don't get it…" Danielle frowned and scratched her head. "Why's that world got him in such a fluster?"

"Don't you remember?" Lauren shuffled a stack of papers and rapped their edges on the desk to straighten them. "When Adrian allowed the Society to use the Library as a base, he handed out a list of worlds that we weren't not allowed to go to under any circumstances because we'd more than likely be killed. Some of them were Bleach, Code Geass, Darker than Black, The Sword of Truth, The Inheritance Cycle and Fate/Stay Night. In fact, the portals won't even open to those worlds at all. "

"So… how's we supposed to stop Runoa, then?" Miriku asked.

Lauren shrugged. "Knowing Adrian, he's probably got a plan or two up his sleeve."


Truth is, Adrian did have a plan.

He'd go and capture Runoa himself.

Laruen hadn't been hundred percent correct when she said that there was a list of worlds that they weren't allowed to go. It was a list of world they weren't allowed to go to without him. In the worlds on the list, death was all too common and all too easy to cause. Anyone who went to those worlds without a strong measure of power would be crushed almost instantly. While the Elimination Society members were strong enough in their own rights, they lacked the experience in magic and life-or-death battles Adrian had.

The white-haired Librarian pushed open the doors to the monitor room, where Tash was waiting, sitting in the big chair before the giant monitor screen, which was filled with images of the raven-haired Runoa and the fancy chalice was that was a copy of the Holy Grail while a series of stats and numbers scrolled up the left side of the screen. "Tash, what's the situation?"

"There's not much I can tell you, I'm afraid." Tash admitted. "According the readings we're getting, Runoa isn't trying to warp the fandom to what she wants like a Sue usually would. She's done something to Grail and seems to be waiting something…"

"Hmm…" Adrian leaned on the back of the chair, violet eyes flicking back and forth as he studied the information on the screen. "It looks like… she's using the Grail she stole to start another Holy Grail War since the last Grail was dissembled after the 5th Holy Grail War."

"Holy Grail War?" Tash had to tilt her head back so that she could look at Adrian in the eye.

"That's the premises of the Fate/Stay Night." He explained. "A Battle Royale is held between seven magi, or Masters and their partners, seven Servants who are, in actuality, Epic Heroes."

"Why would they do that?"

"Because the winner of the War can use the Grail to receive one wish." Adrian reached over her shoulder and began typing something into the keyboard one handed. "Both Master and Servant get one. Usually the Epic Heroes want to fix something in their lives that they weren't able to do so in real life. And the Master's just want the power Grail can give them."

"But Runoa already has the Grail, so why would she want to do all this?" Tash questioned.

"That, I don't know…" The Librarian straightened and ran a hand through his hair. "But I do know that we need to get the Grail back. It's far too dangerous to be left in Runoa's hands."

Tash began to type on the keyboard again. "Give me a minute and I'll get some of the others together." Then she blinked as Adrian grabbed her wrist. "Hey!"

"No." Adrian released her wrist. "There's more to the story… once a Grail War has been started, the Holy Grail will not materialize until only one Servant/Master pair remains. Because of that fact, many of the participants in a Grail War will stop at nothing to achieve victory over their opponents, even ripping the souls right out of innocent bystanders. If you send the other Agents out there, odds are they'll die."

"Then how are we supposed to stop her!" Tash asked.

"'We' don't." Adrian turned and head for the door. "I do."

"What!" Tash spun the chair around and snagged Adrian's arm. "What do you mean, 'I do'!"

He tugged his arm free and turned to face her. "It has to be me. Out of all the Agents, I'm probably the strongest. And I have more combat and magic experience than all of you combined! Also, I was charged with protecting that Grail a long time ago and I still have to fulfill that charge!" He punched in a combination on the panel and waited for the portal to open.

Nothing happened.

He tapped his foot…

Nothing happened.

"I don't think it's working…"


Nothing happened.

The Librarian frowned. "Why isn't the portal opening?" He turned back to the keyboard and punched in another combination, watching as the information he was looking for popped up on screen. "I unlocked the connection… and the computer says the portal is connected on both ends, so why can't I open it…?"

"Here." Tash stood up. "Let me try." With that she hauled back and landed a powerful kick onto the computer.



Adrian tried not to snicker as he watched the Chief Agent hope around one foot, her hands clutching her injured limb. "Sorry, Tash. I don't think that's going to work." He typed away for a few minutes, ignoring Tash's repeated curses and mutterings as he tried to figure out why the portal wasn't opening. A few more moments passed and he groaned as he realized what the problem was. 'Oh, no…"

Tash rubbed her foot and gingerly lowered it to the floor. "What is it?"

He turned to look at her, a solemn expression on his face. "I need you to be my Master."

There was a beat of silence between the pair.

Tash blinked. "Umm… I think I've got a whip somewhere around here and I don't have spike-heeled boots, but is that really what you're into?"



A few minutes later, a swirling rainbow-colored portal opened in a darkened alleyway and spat out two figures.

"Ugh…" Tash pulled a scrap of trash out of her waist-length blonde hair and tossed it aside. "Couldn't you have picked a better place to land?"

"We're here to get Runoa, not draw attention to ourselves." Adrian replied, picking himself up and dusting himself off. "Now, do you have the card I gave you?"

"Yeah, but…" Tash, dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved sweater, fished out around in her pockets and pulled out a rectangular card the a brownish color and had the image of a wizard in robes and with a pointed hat, waving a oak-staff around on it and the word 'CASTER' written along the bottom. "I'm not sure why you gave it to me…"

"Because the only way we could get in is to have the Holy Grail summon me as one of the seven different types of Servant," he explained and gestured to the card. "And that happens to be the class I'm most suited for."

The British girl nodded. "I guess I can understand that." She held up her right hand so that it faced him. "And what's this about the tattoos again?" The symbol on her the back of her hand was colored a soft violet. It was a large six-pointed star with the points touching the edge of the circle that it was inside of while a cross touched the edges on the hexagon that formed the star's center.

"They are not tattoos, but Command Seals," Adrian patiently explained. "They are what allow you order your Servant around. You have three of them and they are a form of absolute magic. Use one and you can order me to anything that you wish, even if I wouldn't do so anyway."

"Really?" Tash studied the Seals and then smirked. "So I can order you to buy me all the sweets I need for a lifetime?"

Adrian twitched and a few anger marks popped into existence on his forehead. "I trust that you are mature enough not to do such a thing. Also, you can use a Command Seal to give me a 'miracle' of sorts. They will increase my powers and abilities to their maximum for a brief period of time or allow me the burst of power to do something I wouldn't be able to do otherwise."

"What happens if I use all three of them?"

"Your contract with your Servant would be voided and they'd be free to do whatever they want like go off on their own or form a contract with a different master." The Librarian told her. "However, we shouldn't have to be here long enough for you to use all three. We'll take out Runoa and then resign from the Holy Grail War."

Tash raised an eyebrow. "Can we do that? I thought you said that six out of the seven servants needed to be defeated for the Holy Grail to materialize."

"Just because it's never happened before, doesn't mean it can't." He shrugged. "So we'll just have to find out, won't we?" Then he glanced down at his current outfit and frowned a little. "I know this how I have to look, but still…"

Like usual, he was dressed in a trenchcoat but his current one was a pale blue color, with golden embroidery running along the bottom edge and up along the buttons and the cuffs, which were held together by pair of silver cuff-links shaped a pair of quills. Underneath, he wore a fancy black silk dress shirt and pants. A pair of boots went halfway up to his knees and his white hair, usually hanging free, was brushed neatly. To top it off, a pendant shaped like the mark Tash had on her hand dangled from his neck. "I feel a little foolish…"

"I dunno. You look pretty good, actually." Tash commented, eyeing him up and down. Then she blinked as she realized something. "Hey, you told me only Epic Heroes could become Servants in the Holy Grail War? How come you were able to pull it off? You're not exactly Epic, you know…"

"Thanks…" Adrian rolled his eyes and readjusted his clothing. "Well, I do have a connection to this Grail since I was its keeper and my position as the Librarian makes me a suitable candidate for a Grail War." He smirked at her. "Just because you don't know any of my Epic deeds doesn't mean they haven't happened."

She stared at him skeptically, but let it slide. "So where do we…" A frown creased her forehead as Adrian walked right past her. "Hey! I'm talking to you!"

He glanced back at her over his shoulder. "Just stay here and find a safe place to hide. I'll come get you when I'm done."

"Not so fast!" Tash grabbed his shoulder and pulled him around to face her. "There's no way I'm letting any one of my Agents run around and get themselves killed while I'm on duty!"

"And how exactly will you be any help?" Adrian asked, folding his arms across his chest. "You don't know any magic. And you're fighting skills aren't that much better."

"So? I've fought Sues and Stus before. We all have!"

"That doesn't mean anything here!" The Librarian drew himself up his full height and narrowed his eyes, his visage darkening. "The Servants are selected for a Grail precisely because they are meant to fight one another! They have access to abilities and are able to fight at such a level that no ordinary human would really stand a chance at defeating them!"

"And you do?"

"Yes." Adrian spoke so assuredly that Tash was taken aback for a moment. "I told you, I'm on par with most of the Servants in terms of combat powers. I've lived a very long time and I haven't spent most of lying around doing nothing. Also, the quickest way to defeat a Servant is to kill the Master, because without a Master to supply them mana, a Servant cannot exist in this world. That means if you stay here, I won't have to worry about one of the Servants or Master killing you. So… stay put!"

"Hell no!" Tash stood up to her full height and glared and because she was a good two inches taller than Adrian's 5'8", this was far more impressive. "I'm your boss and I refuse to stay put while you put yourself in danger! And even if you tried, you can't stop me from following you!"

They glared at one another for a long moment and the Tash blinked as Adrian suddenly tossed his trenchcoat onto her. "Hey! What gives?"

"Put that on." He turned started for the exit of the alley. "It has some magical properties, so it should keep you safe from any stray attacks or whatnot."

Tash slid the coat on and then glanced down at herself, sighing. "A sweater and a trenchcoat… they don't exactly go hand in hand…"


Halfway across town, a billboard proclaiming the virtues of drinking Miller Light before game-time was suddenly ventilated a quintet of blue, glowing energy arrows burs through, followed quickly by dark-blue wearing figure armed with a katana. His sword arm blurred as he slashed apart another volley of arrows and hissed in vexation as two them nicked him, one opening a small wound on his cheek and another slicing through his shoulder. "Tch…!"

He landed easily atop a telephone pole, dark-blue trenchcoat flapping slightly and he ran a hand through his silver hair, spiking it up in reverse. Blue eyes narrowed slightly as he smirked coldly and gripped his katana tighter with one gloved hand, the glove not having any fingers. A ribbed shirt was visible underneath his open coat. "You are tougher than I thought you'd be, Archer."

"I could say the same about you." A figure blurred and appeared on a nearby rooftop. He was dressed in a white, one-piece uniform of some kind that had pale blue trim along the edges. A short cape hung over his back, splitting into a pair tails half-way down. His black hair was cropped to just below his ears and a pair of square-framed glasses partially hid his dark eyes. A blue-and-white bow that seemed built into the gauntlet he was wearing on his left hand shone slightly with power. "You're quite skilled with that sword of yours, Saber."

"As are you with that bow." Saber replied coolly.

The man called Archer smirked slightly. "But I think that last exchange proved that I'm slightly faster than you are." He placed his right hand near the gauntlet and drew back, another blue arrow forming there. "And there's plenty of mana in the air for me to power my bow. So I think I've got the advantage in this fight…"

"Hmmph…" Saber slid his sword into its sheath and dropped into a quick-draw stance, violet energy crackling around the sheath. "That confidence of yours will be the end you, Archer."

"Heh." Archer smirked and unleashed a volley of arrows before blurring and reappearing on another rooftop, a second volley of arrows leaping from his bow already.

Saber was already in motion and leapt off the telephone as the first set of arrows pulled the top to bits. He drew his sword, and then slammed it home, repeating the process over and over. "JUDGEMENT CUT!"

Archer swore as a sphere of black/violet energy appeared around him and dozens of sword slashes came at him form all directions. He blurred to another rooftop, then a tree, then a mailbox and then the ground before appearing back on the rooftop, the spheres of slashes appearing in the spots a few seconds behind him. He fired arrows as fast as he could while avoiding the attack and the fact that his perches kept being destroyed by the Judgment Cut and crumbling underneath him.

Saber sneered and twirling his blade in a circle in front of him, deflecting or destroying the arrows before they reached him. "You may be faster than I am, but if I keep you moving, you don't have to attack him while my Judgment Cut won't stop until destroys you."

Then his eyes widened as the rooftop under his feet buckled and he moved to leap clear, but a giant hand burst through and grabbed Saber, squeezing tightly. "What on earth…!"

"You should be more careful, Saber." A figure emerged from the hole, easily seven feet in height, despite the fact it looked to be squatting low to the ground and was very wide. It had a frog-like mouth, with a too-large smile that revealed all it's teeth and two, small very beady eyes. It looked to be very muscular, but the way the 'skin' shifted, it seemed to be more like a construct. "Or you will die before I get to finish testing my Iwanbo IV!"

"You'll be dead long before I'm ever defeated by the likes of you, Berserker!" Saber brought his sword up to slash, but Berserker reacted faster, slamming him into the rooftop roughly before hurling him up into the air and 'clapping' his hands together and crushing Saber between them, causing the swordsman to cry out and cough up spurts of blood. "D-d-dammit!"

Berserker dangled Saber limply by his collar and then tossed the swordsman away before turning his attention to Archer, who was standing behind him and aiming an arrow at his head. "You won't be able to penetrate my skin with that, Archer." Despite the fact his mouth didn't move, Berserker's voice could be heard quite clearly.

Before Archer could respond, a hooked chain flew up and wrapped several times around Berserker's neck, the behemoth staggering and giving shouts of surprise as he was yanked off the rooftop at high speed, being forcibly dragged along the ground before he managed to grab a tree, the chain jerking taunt as he struggled to get on his feet. "Who might you be?"

A half block down the street was a wicked-looking motorcycle with spikes for tire treads, the engine revving loudly as it's rider, a figure dressed in a leather jacket and pants. But his head was on fire and looked to be a skull inside the flames. He had a gun in one hand. "Name's Rider. And your name's going to be 'slag' in a few minutes."

"I think not." Berserker grabbed the chain and pulled hard, yanking Rider off his bike before grabbing a nearby piece of rubble and hurling it at the flaming-headed man.

Rider rolled out the way and fired a clip's worth of shots at Berserker. "This change your mind?"

Berserker didn't move as the bullets struck, pushing against the rubbery skin before bouncing off. "No."

Rider glared as best he could and reloaded his gun, watching as Archer slammed into the ground and dug a trench with his body, the dark-haired young man groaning as he got his feet while Saber, blood smeared on his sleeves, strode onto the street, sword drawn. "Looks like the gangs all here…"


Standing the edge of a skyscraper, a fifth figure watched as the four Servants battled one another. "It's always fun to watch the puppets fight one another…

She was dressed in a dark body-suit that hugged her curvaceous form well, while lustrous, wavy ebony hair trailed down her back while emerald eyes shone gently in the nighttime sky. A serrated, nasty-looking whip was coiled at her hip and steel-toed, heeled boots clicked on the rooftop as she turned around. "So…come for a rematch, Librarian? Or do I just get to reduce you to a bloody pulp again?"

Sans his trenchcoat (and thus unable to take advantage of the wind on the rooftop to make his coat flap dramatically), Adrian stood calmly a few yards away from her, his eyes hard. "This time it'll be different, Runoa. I'll beat you and take back the Grail Copy."

"Ah-ah-ah…" She waggled her finger at him mockingly. "It's 'Assassin' here in this world, 'Caster'. You should know that." She stepped off the roof's edge and smirked at him, grabbing her whip and uncoiling it.

"So…you read to get down and dirty?" She stretched a length of the whip in her hands, with a sharp 'snap!' sound. "I promise I'll show you a good time…"

"Sorry, not my type." Adrian sprinted forwards, ducking as her bladed whip hissed over his head and lashes out with a sweep-kick, Runoa gracefully leaping to the air over his head and flinging a knife at his head.

The white-haired youth rolled to the side and back onto his feet, yanking his pendant from his neck. "Fall forever in my dreams, Hoshikuzu!"The pendant glowed and transformed into a solid white staff that looked exactly like one Gandalf the White had in Lord of the Rings. He leapt forwards, closing the distance between him and Runoa, staff whirling.

The Sue growled and blocked his strikes with her arm and knife as best she could, unable to use her whip when he was so close. For a few moments, they battled like this and then Runoa back-flipped away and right over the edge skyscraper's roof. Without hesitation, Adrian dashed forwards and leapt off after her.

Runoa, falling back-first, snarled and cracked her whip at him, it's length doubling as it arced towards. "Are you stupid, Librarian or just suicidal!"

"I could ask the same about you!" Adrian batted the whip away with Hoshikuzu and thrust his other palm towards her, firing a volley of thin magical blasts at her.

"Useless!" The Sue twisted on the handle of her whip and cracked it at him, the little bladed-disks launching from the length of whip and whizzing their way towards Adrian, the two wide-spread attacks colliding and creature a small storm of miniature explosions in mid-air.

Runoa twisted in the air and felt her heels drag on the side of the skyscraper, leaving twin trails of sparks as she watched Adrian burst through the clouds, actually running down the building side. "Hehe… run straight to your death, Adrian!" She hurled several groups of throwing knives at him.

Adrian twirled his staff in front of him, knocking the knives aside and swearing as several of them got throw, a pair of them slicing his left arm and another his right calve. Pouring on more speed into his already wildly careening run down the building, he thrust Hoshikuzubefore him and the crystal at the top erupted in a flare of light that broke apart into several smaller flares that rocketed towards Runoa at a variety of angles.

The Sue twisted the handle of her whip and it spun around her, forming a cage-like shape just as the flares of light hit, enveloping her in an explosion of light.

"Damn you!" She tumbled out from the sphere, careening out of control. Her whipped cracked and wrapped around a flagpole that hung from the buildings side, the Sue flipping around it several times before landing in a crouch on top it's length. (At least I get the satisfaction of watching him run into the ground!)

Adrian saw Runoa out of the corner of his eye as he ran past. He flipped his grip on Hoshikuzu so that he was gripping it near the top and it glowed, morphing into a sword that he drove into the side of the building with all his might. Metal on metal screeched as sparks flew as Adrian felt the sword dig into the skyscraper, jerking him violently to a halt.

He rocked back and forth a little and with an impressive display of flexibility flipped himself up so that he was balancing on his sword, one foot rest on the flat of the blade and the other the handle.

A knife whizzed past his ear and he lifted his head and waved his arm, a dozen more knives crashing into his makeshift barrier, vibrating against its surface before falling away. "Knives and a whip…you could try something else, Runoa. Something that's a bit more refreshing!" He called up to the assassin.

"Really now?" She was still balanced on the flagpole, but standing up this time. A dark grin crossed her face. "Neither of us has revealed one of our Noble Phantasms yet…think that might spice things up?"

"It might…" Adrian's violet eyes narrowed.

"Well, then…" Runoa jumped off the flagpole, hurtling right towards Adrian, bladed-whip cracking through the air. "Let's go!"


"I can't believe he ditched me!" Tash grumbled and kicked an empty box away.

After the two of them had wandered several blocks, Adrian had suddenly yanked her aside and into a small park, plopped her down on one of the benches and told her to stay there before he'd flash-stepped away towards the skyscraper.

The Society's de-facto leader swore to herself and paced back and forth in irritation. "Just because he's the better fighter doesn't mean he can get away with this! I swear, when we get back to the Library, I'm going to bury him in so much paperwork he'll have writer's cramp for a decade!"

A beeping noise caught her attention and she pulled her communicator open. Scowling, she flipped the device open and barked, "What."

"Geeze…" Valerie's voice sounded out through the speaker. "What's eating you?"

"Adrian's playing hero and I'm stuck in a park! And I have no sugar, either!"

"Okay…"The other Agent's voice sounded a little nervous. No one really wanted to mess with a sugar-deprived Tash. "I'll make this quick, but you'll like since it's good news."

"What is it!"

"Harriet dropped the Library a line a few minutes ago. She's come up with a plan that she says will let her finally get Willowe!"

"Really?" Tash looked thoughtful for a moment, bad mood forgotten. "Willowe's been a thorn in our side since the beginning. I wanted to catch her myself, but if Harriet can do it, then the rest of the Sues and Stus should be a piece of cake."

"That's what I thought you'd say!" Valerie told her. "Say, have you seen how Adrian's doing against Runoa?"

"No…" The British girl grumbled. "He ran off without me!"

"The others and I have been watching it on the monitor and it's incredible. If I didn't know Adrian personally, I'd swear that it was all straight out of a movie!" There a screeching sound over the speakers followed by a group of voices all speaking at once. A few seconds later, Valerie came back on, her voice confused. "That's weird… the screen just went all white…"

Tash felt her right hand burn and cursed softly, instinctively clutching at it. She brought it up to eye level and watched as the Command Seal shone brightly for a long moment, then the cross part of the symbol dimmed and faded away. "Valerie, I'm going to have to call you back. And get the others ready to treat injuries when I get back." Shoving her communicator back into her pocket, she dashed towards in the direction the symbol was telling her to go.


"Librarian Secret Art: Boot to the Head!" SCHWOOSH-FWUMP!

A massive 'crack!' filled the air, followed by a scream of pain and Adrian was hurled out of the cloud of dust and energy that had enveloped a portion of the parking lot where Adrian's and Runoa's fight had taken them. He smashed into a parked car and dented in the driver's side door and shattered out the window.

Groaning, he forced himself out of the wreckage and yanked his sword free from the cement. His clothes were torn and tattered, while his left pant leg was almost completely shredded and coated with blood, while he limped with that leg. Parts of his hair were smoldering and his face was covered in dirt and grime. But his eyes still shone clearly with determination. "Come on and fight, Runoa!"

The cloud of dust and energy cleared away, revealing Runoa. Her bodysuit was covered in cuts and slashes, many of which she was bleeding from. The left half of her face was literally coated in blood from Adrian's 'Boot to the Head' attack. "You're stubborn, Librarian. You've managed to push me like this and you haven't even revealed your Noble Phantasm besides your sword yet."

"My Librarian Arts are more than enough for you, Runoa." Adrian twirled his blade and dropped into a ready stance. "Librarian Art 1: A Thousand Words in an Instant!" His form seemingly winked out of sight.

Runoa waved her hand, shouting. "Hellbinder!" Like some kind of living creature, her bladed-whip burst out of the ground and hissed around out wildly, repeatedly diving and surfacing while forming a lashing net of itself around Runoa. Sparks bounced of the whip's length and metal clanged uselessly.

There was a sharp cry and Adrian reappeared where he had been standing before, several new wounds on his legs and arms and one above his eyebrow. "Dammit…!"

"Hell-binder is the perfect weapon for an assassin like myself…" Runoa held out her arm and the whip emerged from the ground, wrapping around the length of her arm, with what could not fit still leading underground. "When I activate it, I can control it however I want, regardless if I can see or if I'm even holding it. Thus, I don't even have to get close to my target to hurt them." She smiled wickedly. "And there are some many different ways I can inflict so much pain with this Noble Phantasm…"

"Tch…" Adrian narrowed his eyes and held out a hand, unleashing a volley of magical lasers at her, their number shooting up into the dozens before becoming to fast to see.

Runoa simply smirked and the coils of her whip erupted from the ground and snared together, forming a wall that blocked Adrian's attack, the energy beams splashing harmlessly against it's surface. "You see...? There is no attack that my Hellbinder cannot…" She felt a shadow fall over her and looked up, gaping as dozens of heavy, thick encyclopedia volumes dropped from the sky, pummeling her one after another.

"Librarian Art 5: A Through Z!" The Librarian managed a pained smirk as the last volume landed on top of her head. "Heh… what was that you were saying?"

An enraged yell erupted from the pile as it burst apart, Runoa's whip shredding and tearing the books into scraps of paper. "That's not enough to stop me!"

"Librarian Art 3: Burning Knowledge!" The scraps of paper around Runoa burst into flame and flew towards the Sue, wrapping and latching onto her as they burned, her whip slashing and hissing as it sliced them in half, but only succeeded in increasing the number of flames.

Before Adrian could smirk at the pillar of flames his opponent had become, the tip of the whip burst from the ground and wrapped itself around his neck, the white-haired teenager tugging fiercely at it as it wound itself tighter and tighter, it's blades biting into his skin and drawing blood.

"I'm going to make you suffer…" Runoa growled out as the pillar of flames burned to away to nothingness and she watched Adrian drop to his knees, choking and gasping for air as he vainly tugged on the Hell-binder around his throat. "You call yourself the Librarian, supposedly one of the greatest allies good has…and yet here you lie at my feet, ineffectively trying to save your own life… how sad…"

Adrian's reply was to grab his sword and jam it point-first into the ground, rasping out the words: "Librarian… A-Art… 9:… Pill… Pillars… of… Knowledge…"

Six stone columns burst from the ground around Runoa, each one inscribed with a different word or symbol meaning 'Knowledge' on it and slammed towards her at once, smashing into the Sue and crumbling on top of her.

The Librarian sucked in a welcome gasp of air as Hell-Binder unwound itself from his neck and he dropped to all fours, desperately trying to regain his breath.

"You bastard!" Runoa burst from the rubble of his attack and snapped out Hell-Binder, the bladed-whip hissing and snapping through the air to wrap around Adrian and bind him up, Hoshikuzu clattering to the ground. "I'm going to kill you!" She slammed Adrian into a car, smashing him through one of the windows before yanking him out and hurling him into a lamppost, the steel pole actually bending around him a little.

With an angered shout, the Sue hauled back and swung with all her might, smashing the Elimination Society Agent into the cement wall of a nearby building… once… twice… three times until the wall gave way and he smashed through, the upper part crumbling and falling, burying his motionless form underneath.


"Oh my god…" Valerie's eyes, along with everyone else's in the room, were wide a she watched Runoa mercilessly beat upon the Librarian. "She's… killing him…"

"What are we waiting her for!" Blake was the first to tear his eyes of the screen and sprint for the portal controls, almost all the other Agents right behind. "We've got to go and help him!"

"It's no good!" Camille's and Doyle's fingers danced across the keyboard at an incredible rate before the frustrated researcher slammed her palms on the computer. "The world of Fate/Stay Night is on the black-list! Adrian's the only one who knows the passwords to open a portal to there!"

"What!" Blake glared at her. "Are you telling me there's nothing we can do!"

Lauren placed a calming hand on his shoulder and swallowed before she spoke. "Even if we could go, what help could we be? Fate/Stay Night is on the black-list for a reason… and now we know why… We go there to help Adrian and Runoa will kill us without even trying…"

"She's right." Michael nodded in agreement, though his face showed he really didn't want to believe her. "And Adrian's the toughest guy that I know. If anyone could beat that bitch at her own game, he can. All we can do now is to have faith him and hopes he comes through like he always does."

"Oh no…"

Everyone's attention snapped back to the screen at Emma's whispered plea and their eyes widened again.



"Adrian!" The Society's leader skidded around the corner to the parking lot, borrowed trenchcoat fluttering as she took in the ruined landscape before her. A smashed to pieces car, bits of flame here and there, gouges and craters all over, a damaged lamppost and a hole in the wall across the way. "Adrian!"

Eyes wide in surprise and fear, she sprinted for the rubble of the hole. "Adrian! Adrian! Adrian!"

Before she made even halfway across the parking lot, the Hell-binder lashed out and yanked her off her feet as she yelled out in surprise. "Let me go, dammit!" Tash struggled against the Hell-binder as it wrapped around her wrists ankles, stringing her up in the air like she was about be crucified. "Let me go!"

Runoa, limping and battered from the beating Adrian had given her, walked up to Tash, stopping a few feet away."You… you're that Tash person Willowe keeps ranting on about, aren't you? The de-facto leader of the Elimination Society, right?"

"Untie me and I'll show you!" Tash snapped at her.

The Sue ignored her and rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "You've caused Willowe quite a lot of trouble and she's told us that you're one of the people we're supposed to stay away from… but you aren't exactly much of a fighter… but why would you be here along with the Librarian, then?"

She looked off for a moment and then snapped her fingers, her eyes widening slightly. "Of course! You Elimination Society Agents have to play by the rules, don't you? That means Adrian couldn't come here and fight me as a Servant without a Master first." She smirked and tossed a few strand of her hair over her shoulder. "Of course, I am a Sue and a perfect being, so I don't need any such things…" A slim finger tapped her chin. "But now that I've got you, what to do with you?"

"How about you let me down and I kick that smirk off your face?"

"No, no…" Runoa waved that away. "I can't kill you, that's Willowe's pleasure…" She clapped her hands, looking delighted at the idea that crossed her mind. "I know…" She turned and faced Tash with an evil grin that made the British girl shudder. "I'll you why your dear Librarian's oh-so-heroic efforts were in vain!"

Tash narrowed her eyes. "What?" Quietly, she began to wriggle one of her feet from the bindings…

"Oh yes…" Runoa walked up and lifted Tash's chin with a finger. "He's tried so hard to stop me and I don't even want this fandom." She laughed at the shocked look on Tash's face. "You members of the Society are really thick, aren't you? Despite how many Sues and Stus there are around, do you really think we could take over all of the fandoms one by one like that?"

Her lips parted in a dark smile. "Oh, no…our plan is much grander. You see, we weren't trying to capture the fandoms, we're looking for several key items that we need."

"Items…?" Tash frowned down at her captor. "And that Holy Grail Copy is one of them, right?" She felt her foot slip free of the Hell-binder's loop around her ankles.

"Yes." Runoa nodded and then laughed. "The only reason I came Fate/Stay Night was to make sure it worked by starting a Holy Grail War!" She sneered mockingly up at Tash. "So your little Librarian's determined efforts were all for naught!"

"You… you…" Tash looked incredibly angry now, blue eyes shining as if they could ignite Runoa with the sheer force of her glare.

"What? Surprised? Scared? You should be!" Runoa began to laugh again… right until Tash's foot snapped across her face, driven with force of years of kickboxing practice and her own righteous anger, the blow actually knocking the Sue off her feet.

"Laugh THAT off, bitch!"

Runoa groaned and spat out a glob of blood, eyes widening in surprise when she noticed a pair of teeth amongst the blood. Hissing in anger, she stood back up and fixed Tash with a menacing glare. "That hurt, you little brat…" She growled and pulled out a throwing knife. "Let's see how smug you look when you're smiling from your throat!"

Tash screamed and looked away as the Sue drove the knife towards her throat…

Nothing happened.

Cautiously, Tash opened one eye and then both fully as she who her savior was. "Adrian!"

Blood spattered on the ground, the Librarian having appeared in front of her, driving Hoshikuzu into and through Runoa's shoulder. "Sorry…" He managed, despite the fact he was covered in dust and debris and blood. "I was… taking a little… nap…!" He shoved his sword in farther and twisted it.

Runoa gaped at him with wide eyes and then snarled, gripping the sword and yanking it out her shoulder before leaping away as Hellbinder unraveled and dropped Tash unceremoniously on the, the whip coiling up and around it's master like some kind of demented floor. "You bastard! What does it take to kill you! You should be dead by now!"

"Trust me… I'm pretty damn close." Adrian panted heavily, his knees and arms trembling as he forced himself to remain upright.

"Adrian!" Tash reached for him and grasped his arm, yelling. "You're wounded, you idiot! Now's not the time to play hero!"

The Librarian shook her off and looked at her, his eyes still bright with life and determination. "Tash… I'm not going to be knocking on Death's Door anytime soon." He stepped forwards and lifted Hoshikuzu into a battle stance. "So you stay right there and wait with no worries. I will… most definitely win…"

"I don't think you will…" Runoa had leapt until she was roughly fifty away from the pair. "You're both about die instead."

"I beg to disagree…" Adrian narrowed his eyes and a violet aura burned to life around him, causing his clothes to whip and his hair to dance wildly while his eyes began to glow and Tash was forced to shield her face with her arms.

(That aura…) Runoa's eyes widened as the violet aura doubled in size, burning, twisting and pulsing with a life of its own. (It's incredible… is the real power of the Librarian… no wonder we're not supposed to engage him directly!)

She swallowed fear and smiled at them. "I'm about of time to play with you, so why don't I show my final Noble Phantasm." She snapped her fingers. "Gate of Babylon." A single of line of purple/pink light shot up behind her and then grew, expanding into a sheet of that light that was nearly fifteen feet across and twenty feet high.

Adrian and Tash stared with wide eyes. "What… is that?"

Runoa smiled as ripple appeared all over the sheet of light, the hilts of dozens and dozens of swords that covered all shapes, all sizes and every single era emerged. "This is the Gate of Babylon and within it is stored the treasures of the mightiest hero and king of the world, Gilgamesh." She snickered cruelly. "Of course, in this world, only he is supposed to do be able to use… But I don't think people will mind the fact I killed him and took it… he was a pretty big jerk."

The Librarian scowled and gripped his sword even tighter, violet aura not dimming in the slightest. "There's no way you could possibly wield or even know how to use all those swords."

"I don't…" Runoa's smirk turned bloodthirsty. "But the Gate will shoot them all at you… it'll be a beautifully bloody sight…" She lifted a hand and snapped her fingers. "Die."

The Gate unleashed volley after volley of swords, the weapons morphing into a golden rain that raced towards the two the Society Agents like an endless wave of death itself.

"Tash!" Adrian leapt in front of her. "Get down! I'll keep you safe!"

"You can't - there's too many - how-" Tash's fearful ramblings were cut off as Adrian slammed the hilt of his weapon into her gut, automatically dropping her to her knees.

The Librarian knew that he couldn't hope to block all the swords. There was simply too many.

He didn't care.

His body was at its limits, wounded and battered and with one foot in the grave.

He didn't care.

None of his Librarian Arts would save him and even if he could block the swords, Runoa would still escape.

He didn't care.

Violet aura tripling in size and shouting a wordless battle cry, eyes flaring like lighting he began to block and parry the oncoming rain of death and for some strange reason, memories flashed before his eyes.

"Hi." She smiled at him, blonde hair to her waist and blue eyes bright. "I'm Tash. What's your name?"

Metal screamed as he batted a dozen blades aside impossibly fast.

"You may not believe me, but my job is to hunt Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus…"

He chuckled and gestured to his clothes. "I dress in white on black, Miss. There's very little I won't believe."

Time seemed to slow down and he could almost count each sword as they flew at him individually, a shower of sparks flaring every time he knocked one away.

"Wow…" Tash and the small group of teens around her gaped at the awesome expanse of bookshelves before them. "This is your Library? It's huge!"

He enjoyed watching their jaws drop when he told them it was only one of the rooms.

Arms feeling like they made of lead, Adrian continued to parry and block, ignoring the pain and cries from his nerves that he shouldn't be able to move.

His opened his office door and blinked in surprise when noticed a plate of cookies on it. He pulled the note off the top and read it:


Sorry about your cookies.

-Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society.

One whizzed over his shoulder as he blocked another… and another… and another… and another…

"Hey." The Librarian walked over to the blond-haired teenage boy who sat apart from the others, messing around with a deck of cards in hands. "You look like you could use company…"

"I'm not much in the way of company.." The boy set the deck on the table and glanced at the white-haired teen. "I'm kind of a rookie…"

"That makes two of us." Adrian offered his hand and the boy shook it. "I'm Adrian."

"My name's Blake…"

He felt one slash his arm…another his leg and he still didn't slow down, even as one ripped through just above his knee and leaving a small hole.

"And then Adrian comes out of nowhere and boots the guy in the head!" Michael finished, excited at sharing his story with others who were crowded around the table.

The Librarian, leaning against a wall and sipping some tea as he read, glanced up as they all looked at him. "What?"

"Did you really do that, Adrian?" One of the girls asked with wide eyes.

"Well, yeah…" He flushed with all the attention and then grinned, striking a pose. "Because it's cooler that way!"

And they all laughed long and loud…

One struck in the shoulder, he ripped it out, another in his foot and he yanked it free, still blocking, still fighting, vision filled with sparks as his sword howled against the oncoming fury…

"Why are doing this?" Tash grumbled as she and Adrian sat at their desks, filing out endless forms. "We don't even need this!"

"But it's strangely necessary." The Librarian replied and continued what he was doing. Then he paused as he heard a gurgling sound. "Tash?"

"Sorry?" The British girl smiled sheepishly at him. "I haven't anything all day and we kind of cleaned out your sweets last week…"

"Hmmph. Serves you right." Adrian went back to his work and silence reigned for ten minutes, broken by Tash's impatient stomach demanding food.

"…look in the bottom right drawer, Tash."

She did so and let an 'oh' of surprise when saw it was full of bits of candy and chocolate. She glanced at Adrian's who only response was to continue working, but she could see the smirk on his face.

He dropped to one knee, felt his vision swim and blur, his body burning with a dozen different kinds of fire, but he cried out his determination and stormed back to his feet, refusing to give a single inch…

"You alright, Adrian?" Blake asked as he caught up to the Librarian down the hallway.

"Of course, Blake." Adrian smiled as he tucked his book further under his arm. "I may have teleported myself into a wall, but I'm still ship-shape."

Blake looked relieved. "That's good to here. I don't want anything happen to you, after all."

"Don't worry. Thanks your expert bandaging skills, I'll be fine." Adrian clapped Blake on the back. "Next time you need something, come and tell me and I'll help you."

"What? Oh no, I don't deserve that.." Blake look flustered. "I'm not really-"

He was cut off as Adrian smacked the back of his head with a hand. "Blake, I'm your friend. I want to help you…"

The other teen looked confused for a moment and then smiled, holding out his hand. "Friends."

Adrian chuckled and shook it. "You know it…"

Staggering… bleeding… but still fighting, still blocking…

"We, the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society, do hereby swear to eliminate all beings of the Mary-Sue race and to bring order and peace to the words of fandom and to never abuse the powers that we as authors have been given…" Adrian smiled at the words and grabbed the quill, dipping it in the ink as he signed the charter. "Wow, you guys are detailed…"

Tash smiled at him and took the charter when he was done, rolling it up and stowing it in the case she had. "Yeah, we're good at what we do, but we're a bit nutty, too…"

He chuckled. "I think I can relate to that…"

She patted him on the back and stared for the door. "C'mon, lunch is almost ready. I'll introduce to the rest of our little family…"

"Family… huh?" Adrian sounded the word out loud and felt himself smile uncontrollably for the first time in what felt like forever…

Runoa could only stare as Adrian continued to block and fight back against the endless barrage of the Gate of Babylon, despite the fact his body should have given out long ago, his violet aura not even dimming in the slightest. In fact, it was burning brighter and bright, the Librarian's eyes never once fading as they burned with life and determination.

A bead of fearful sweat dropped down her cheek. (He's… he's not normal! There's no way… not even a Sue…) Her thoughts broke into fragments as she tried to wrap her mind around the scene she was seeing, something that supposedly unable to be…

Then the roar of a motor caught her attention and she turned just in time to see a blur shoot past her, spinning her around as the Gate of Babylon fell apart, the Sue unable to maintain the concentration necessary to keep it open. "What's going on?"

"Shut up." Runoa turned to see a very-pissed off Blake, riding his D-Wheel and glaring at her. "You don't get to talk!" Then he was racing his towards her, his duel disk activating as he yanked five cards from his deck and slammed onto his disk, Gilford the Lighting, Saint Knight-Ishnark, Queen's, King's and Jack's Knight bursting to lifearound him and charging her with their weapons ready to kill.

"Get away, you weaklings!" The Hell-binder burst from the ground and torn at the holograms, crushing them to digital pixels even as Blake slammed on the brakes, lest he get caught up in the tangles. "I don't have time for you!"

"We said…" Runoa glanced up and gasped as Michael, Willie, Doyle and Kyle, his Omni-sphere having taken the shape of a suit of bladed armor fell towards her, blades drawn back. "You don't get to talk!"

All four of them slammed into her and they all disappeared in a cloud of dust and debris, the sounds of enraged battle cries and metal striking out again and again filling the air.

Then the three Agents and one Android were thrown out of the cloud, blood trailing from their wounds as Runoa howled in anger, scattering the cloud like it was mist. "You're all so annoying!"

Five red dots lit up on her chest and she lifted her head to see Harriet, Emma, Valerie, Laruen and Danielle pointed what looked very dangerous rifles at her. "You…"

"Shut up!" All five girls fired, unleashing a miniature storm of laser blasts at the Sue.

Runoa yelled out and the coils of Hellbinder weaved together, forming a wall that the lasers splashed harmlessly against. With a snarl, she cracked the whip and the backlash send the five girls flying backwards, weapons flung from their hands. "You can't defeat me, you fools!" Then she disappeared as Michael, Blake, Willie and Kyle all attacked her at once, their blades just blurs in their hands. "You…!"

Hell-Binder cracked and the boys were also sent flying away. "You're all so ANNOYING!"

They a flurry of explosions and lasers slammed into her, driving her back as the boys leap to their feet and charged again, attacking the Sue en masse. She howled and leapt to her feet, cracking her whip again and shredding the ground in front of the boys and halting their charge. "I'll kill you all! I'll…I'll..!"

Then her eyes widened as a thin violet beam of energy lanced through the air and burned a hole through her chest and out the other side. She staggered and clutched at the wound, whip falling to the ground as she dropped to one knee. "You… you!"

Adrian, Hoshikuzu planted in the parking plot as he leaned heavily on it, lowered his palm, his breathing ragged and harsh and slow, head bowed. "Shut… up… and… disappear… from…. my... sight!"

Runoa growled at him and reached for her whip, but laser blast knocked it too far away. She glanced around at all the Society Agents ready to kill her and glared in return. "You may have won this…but I'll be back…" She fixed her sight on Adrian as she faded away. "And I'll be sure to kill you myself next time…" Then she was gone.

Adrian forced himself to stand up, though he was still leaning on his sword to keep his weight up. "Wha… what… kep… kept... you… guys?"

"Don't talk, idiot!" Tash snapped at him. "You are wounded in case you hadn't noticed!"

He managed a weak, bloodstained smile. "Heh... silly Tash… always… one… step… ahead… aren't you?" He swayed, staggered and looked ready to fall until Tash grabbed him, holding him close to steady him. "Ah…"

"You bloody stupid idiot!" She stammered at him, trying to decide if she should be angry or cry and settled for looking torn. "What the hell were you thinking! Don't you dare die on me, Adrian or I swear I'll drag your damn soul back from wherever it ends up and kill you myself!"

"Tch…" Adrian coughed sharply and blood spattered onto the ground. "'Course… I… won't… die… it… isn't cooler... that way…" Then his eyes slipped closed and he slumped against her.

"Adrian?" Tash could feel her eyes filling up, but she didn't care. Even as she heard the others rush up to them and Blake saying that he'd go get the ER ready and Michael was tugging her sleeve, trying to get her to let him carry Adrian. "Adrian! Adrian!"

He didn't respond.


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