Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Insert Warriors Clad in Magical Armor Here

Drake groaned as he stepped out of the plothole. He dragged a pair of large suitcases after him. He hunched over under the weight of the large pack strapped to his back. Various recreational objects poked out of the cases and the pack, including a tennis racket, snorkel, bazooka, a cricket bat (Drake had no idea how that had ended up in his luggage), golf clubs (Again an odd thing for him to be carrying), a giant boomerang, several slimy tentacles, and the twitching tail of some reptilian creature.

"So how was your vacation?" Ben asked, raising an eyebrow at the struggling agent.

"Oh, about what you'd expect," Drake replied. He set his bags down with a sigh and turned to face Ben. "How's everything been here? Not too much trouble I hope?"

"Nothing as bad as Death so far," Ben replied. "Just about what you'd expect."

"Good, I really don't need a repeat of that fight," Drake said. "That was worse than my one-on-one with Super-Sue. And that ended with me buried under tons of rubble. Well, I better get this stuff unpacked."

"See you later," Ben said, continuing on his way as Drake gripped his luggage and attempted to heave it off the floor with a grunt.

He grunted and groaned for two minutes before flopping down on the floor. "Maybe I'll just let it set in the hall…"

Somehow, Drake managed to drag his luggage into his room. He glanced around at the walls covered with shelves and the cluttered floor. His habit of collecting bits and pieces of unimportant objects from fandoms had gotten worse lately. It had been an excuse to avoid the gloomy atmosphere after Adrian's death. Fortunately, things were starting to return to normal.

Drake scoffed. Normal was such a poor choice of word to describe the Society.

He opened the first suitcase and the compressed contents exploded outward, knocking the surprised agent to the floor. Grumbling, he pushed several items off and stood up. He pulled a grenade launcher from the case and glanced around for a free space to put it.

The sound of a clearing throat came through his open door. Drake glanced up to find Michael standing there. "Sorry to bother you when you just got back, but we've got a mission for you."

"Of course you do," Drake sighed. "The readers wouldn't be entertained with three thousand words describing the unpacking of my underwear."

The fourth wall rumbled and caused a yo-yo to roll off the pile emerging from the suitcase.

"We've got a level six Stu in the GARO fandom," Michael said. "According to the database you're familiar with that fandom."

Drake frowned trying to remember the new level ranking system for Sues. He could probably take down a level six by himself, but…

"Would you mind sending someone with me as support?" Drake asked. Michael looked surprised at his request. Normally, Drake preferred going alone on his missions. He quickly added. "GARO is a bit of a dark fandom. The monsters of the week are demons that possess people and kill for the fun of it. The heroes that fight them, the Makai Knights, are tough customers."

"I'm free," Michael said.

"All right," Drake said. "Give a minute to collect my gear."


(The GARO fandom)

Saejima Kouga ducked under the swiping arm of a Horror. The inky black creature shrieked in anger. Kouga slammed his armored hand into the creature's maw. He followed this up by slashing the stunned monster in half with his sword.

He turned to face the oncoming horde of Horrors. He had never encountered so many of them at once in the human world. They were all basic Horrors, humanoid bodies with raven-like wings and horns sprouting from their heads.

A beam of white light slashed through the twelve Horrors. The attack severed their torsos from their legs and the creatures burst apart, spraying their black essence everywhere.

Kouga lowered his sword as a figure covered from head to toe in platinum armor stepped forward. The Makai Knight's armor shone brightly in the moonlight. Wings and halos decorated the suit of Soul Metal. Like all Knights, his helmet looked wolf-like complete with a snout and ears on the head. He held a large silver katana covered in wings and halos.

ACE's armor detached and flew upwards vanishing into the air. The man under the armor had pure white hair that grew down to his shoulders. He wore a platinum trench coat that seemed to shine just like the armor. His katana shrank to a more normal size, but retained its impressive ornaments. He sheathed the sword.

"You should be more careful, Kouga," Akuro Naejima Yoko Fuji said with a smile. "You might've been hurt if I hadn't showed up."

GARO's golden armor detached and vanished. Kouga wore his signature white trench coat. He bowed humbly to Akuro, an action that instantly alerted anyone familiar with his normal stoic behavior that something was wrong. "You're right, Akuro. I should have been more careful."

"Well, when you've got my vast level of experience you'll do better," the Stu smirked.

Kouga nodded. Though he had only met Akuro a day before and had never even heard of a Makai Knight called ACE, he didn't doubt his words.

Akuro had shown up during GARO and ZERO's battle with Messiah. He killed GLUM in one slash when she had been batting ZERO around with ease. However, that wasn't the end of his amazing feats; he destroyed Messiah the Ultimate Horror with similar ease and dispatched KIBA the Dark Knight after mocking the evil Knight's weakness.

Since then he spread his time fighting Horrors to each of the districts that the Makai Knights patrolled. Everyone seemed to have forgotten the usual one Knight per district rule.

"Ore sanjou!"

"What the fudge?" Akuro exclaimed, spinning around.

Drake stood behind him, arms spread to the side in the classic Kamen Rider Den-O pose.

"You're one of those annoying Society agents aren't you?" the Stu Makai Knight asked in a bored tone. "You realize you just lost the element of surprise, right?"

"Yeah, but I've always wanted to say that," Drake remarked cheerfully.

Akuro sighed as he reached for his katana. "Couldn't they have sent a worthy opponent to face me? Maybe the Librarian? Oh, I forgot he's dead. Guess all that raw power didn't come with common sense."

Drake's hands curled into fists. His jovial attitude abruptly swept aside. He raised his arm, the bracelet on his wrist slipping out of his jacket sleeve. At the same time, Michael leapt at the Stu's back, Prohibitor in hand. Akuro jammed an elbow backwards connecting with Michael's face.

"Wardrobe-," Akuro closed the distance between himself and Drake in a single leap. He jabbed the handle of his katana into Drake's gut, interrupting his transformation call. He swung the blade around and nearly took off the agent's head, but Drake stumbled out of range.

"Wardrobe Change!" Drake shouted raising his arms as the katana dropped towards his head. Blue and silver dragon-themed armor covered his body in a flash. The katana struck his arms and cut into the armor, though it didn't reach flesh. Drake lashed out with a kick, but the Stu dodged backwards.

"What's going on?" Kouga asked in confusion.

It took only seconds for Akuro to come up with a lie and shout it to the confused canon character. "They're possessed by Horrors and are obsessed with killing me."

Drake's fist almost reached Akuro's face, before he batted it aside.

Kouga drew his sword and leapt towards Michael. The Gary-Stu Gutter ducked under a slash and drew his own blade. The two swordsmen faced each other, sizing the other up, looking for holes in their opposition's defense.

Michael lunged forward, but Kouga leapt upwards and spun around in midair, slamming a boot into his face. Michael stumbled backwards, barely keeping his balance. Kouga stepped forward and slashed, but Michael blocked and shoved back. His opponent stepped back and leapt to the side.

The chief agent raised his sword and began circling his opponent. Kouga watched him with a fierce expression on his face.


Drake flipped backwards, landing atop a set of steps that led down into the courtyard where the fight had started. Akuro calmly stepped after him. Drake examined the cuts in his forearm armor and frowned.

The Stu tossed his katana, the sword spun through the air like a disc. Drake raised his cape, the fabric hardening into a silvery shield. The sword bounced off and flew back to its owner's hand.

Akuro took the steps three at a time and swung at Drake, who dodged by ducking under the handrail in between the steps. The katana sliced through the rail like it was butter. Akuro sliced again, severing a length of the rail, which he then kicked at Drake. The armored agent swatted the projectile to the side. This distracted him long enough for Akuro to lunge forward and plunge his katana into his chest.

"Ready to give up?" Akuro smirked.

Drake jumped back, the sword pulling free of his chest. Blood dripped from the hole in his armor, but not enough to worry him… yet.

Tossing his sword again, Akuro charged forward. Drake surprised him by leaping over the thrown weapon and towards him.

"Storm Kick!" Drake shouted, extending his foot as he fell towards his target. Blue electricity covered his boot and exploded against the Stu's chest.

Akuro flew backwards and crashed into a wall of concrete. Drake hit the ground in a crouch and sighed. The Stu chuckled and pulled himself out of the creator his impact had created.

"Maybe this will be entertaining after all," he raised his hand and his thrown katana hovered into the air, turning around, and flying back towards its owner. Drake rolled to the side, avoiding the sword.

Catching his sword, Akuro thrust it skyward and twisted it in a circle. The blade created a glowing halo above the Stu. His platinum armor dropped out of the halo and covered his body.


Michael knew he was in trouble. Drake had given him a quick explanation of the fandom. One of the things he had mentioned had been how Kouga'd trained in sword fighting since his childhood.

Michael was no novice with a sword either. He'd often dueled with Adrian and gotten some pointers from the Librarian. He could match Kouga for a while, but it was clear who was tiring quicker.

He didn't want to fall back on the Phoenix Morpher. He could only use the device safely a few times and he wanted to save it. Besides a copyright would end the battle much easier. He just needed an opening to apply one.

Kouga swung for his side, but Michael blocked. They locked blades and struggled against each other. Kouga pulled his sword away and swung. Michael blocked and Kouga swung again. Michael intercepted the second slash and slammed a fist into Kouga's face.

The Makai Knight stumbled back. He thrust his sword upward and sliced a halo of light open. Michael leapt forward as armor fell through the portal and formed around Kouga. He pulled a copyright from his pocket and slapped it against GARO's chest. The golden knight raised his sword, ready to remove Michael's head from his shoulders. He hesitated a moment, confused as the copyright removed Akuro's influence.

Kouga dropped his sword to the side and his armor detached. Michael stepped back and sheathed his sword.

"Who are you?" Kouga asked. "I sense no Horror signature from you. I don't know why I didn't realize sooner."

Michael opened his mouth to deliver a quick explanation, but a shout interrupted him.

"Metal Avalanche!"

Kouga and Michael's heads whipped to the side to find a wall of earth and shattered concrete flying towards them. The attack slammed into them and knocked them back against a building. Both dropped to the ground, unconscious.

"Was that really necessary?" the red and gray draguirrel asked.

His companion lowered his sword. He wore brown armor, not Makai Knight armor. Rather it resembled Drake's Dragon Scale armor. Instead of a dragon though, his armor bore a griffin motif. A yellow beak surrounded his black visor. Feather designs covered his chest armor, while the armor on his lower body was smooth. Bird talons decorated the armor around his wrists. The sword's hilt was brown and resembled wings, while the blade was silver. His armor dissolved into motes of brown light.

"I didn't want them getting in the way when I have my talk with Drake," the hooded man said.

"Right, talk," the draguirrel scoffed. "Don't you mean fight?"


Drake ducked under a slash from Akuro's enlarged katana. He twisted backwards avoiding another slash. He pulled out his cell phone-shaped communicator and hit four buttons.

"Storm Blade come closer," the communicator droned.

"Ha!" ACE exclaimed, scoring a slash across Drake's chest. The blade ripped a large gash in his armor and knocked him backwards.

A plothole opened and a blue motorcycle sped out of it. The bike turned around and stopped in front of Drake. He grabbed a handlebar and slung a leg over the seat. Turning back around, he sped away from the Stu.

Akuro growled and swung his sword, leaving a line of white light in the air. He swung the sword rapidly several more times, drawing a complex symbol. The symbol pulsed brightly and light up the dark street.

The glow faded to reveal ACE sitting astride a giant metal horse. Like his armor, the creature shone brilliant platinum. Akuro grabbed the reigns and the Madou Horse charged forward.

Drake checked his mirrors and felt a mix of relief and worry when he saw the Stu pursuing him. He didn't want to risk fighting Akuro head on in his Makai Armor. He hoped the Stu's armor possessed the same 99.9-second time limit that the canon armors did.

The Madou Horse pulled up alongside the Storm Blade. Drake moved to the side as Akuro slashed his katana into the pavement, ripping up chunks of the street.

"Slicing Gale!" Drake shouted, his spear appearing in a flash of light. He swung the weapon up and crescent arcs of wind magic flew at ACE and his steed. The attack evaporated harmlessly against the Soul Metal.

Akuro's katana blade glowed white and he swung it backwards, a beam of energy extending from it. Drake pulled his bike into a slide and slipped under the attack.

He pulled the bike back upright and leapt from it. Landing on the Madou Horse's back, Drake stabbed his spear into ACE's shoulder. The point barely managed to penetrate the Soul Metal. Akuro thrust his elbow back and hit Drake's gut, sending him flying off the horse's back. He hit the street and skidded across it, his armor sparking.

The armored agent rolled upright as ACE's horse skidded to a stop and turned around. The metal horse split apart and the pieces vanished. Akuro dropped to the ground and raised his katana.

The Stu pulled out a lighter and flipped it open. A white flame burst from the lighter and Akuro swept it across his sword. White flames covered the blade. He swung the katana launching an arc of fire at Drake.

"Iron Wing!" Drake shouted, swinging his cape up. The fabric hardened as the attack slammed into it. Drake slide backwards as the fire pushed against him. He clenched his fist, blue magic crackling around it. Flinging his cape aside, Drake slammed his fist into the flames.

The arc flew back towards the Stu and struck his armor. White flames covered the Soul Metal as Akuro crouched. He leapt upwards and dropped towards Drake.

"Slicing Gale!" Drake shouted, swinging his spear. Arcs of blue wind shot towards the burning Makai Knight, but only glanced off. He launched the attack once with the same results. Akuro smirked at his foolishness.

Drake leapt upwards at the last second, ascending above the falling Knight. The Stu struck the ground, sending fragments of macadam flying everywhere.

"Storm Kick!" the armored agent shouted as gravity pulled him down. His foot slammed into the back of Akuro's helmet. The Stu collapsed face first into the ground. His Burning Armament faded.

Drake jumped backwards and crossed his arms over his chest. Wind whipped up around him as clouds gathered in the sky. Lightning flashed overhead.

"Double Storm Kick!" Once more, he leapt into the air, thrusting both feet out. Lightning shot out of the sky and surrounded Drake's feet, covering them in the deadly element.

Akuro pushed himself into a crouch. He heard Drake announce his attack and rolled to the side. The agent's feet struck the street and blasted another crater in it.

"I've had about enough of this!" Akuro exclaimed, raising his katana.

A flaming acorn struck the Stu's helmet. He grunted in confusion, unharmed by the attack. Both fighters glanced in the direction from which the attack had come. The hooded human stood a short distance from them, the draguirrel perched on his shoulder.

"Sorry, but I've got business with that thief," the man gestured at Drake. "Could you maybe leave now?"

Akuro growled in annoyance. He had only a few seconds left before his time limit expired. Retreating wasn't something the Stu had experience with though.

"Sorry, I was here first!" he lunged at Drake, who dodged his slash.

The stranger sighed. He glanced over at the scaly rodent on his shoulder. "You better get off."

His companion nodded and scurried down his arm, dropping the rest of the way to the ground. He ran off to find a safe place to watch.

"Wardrobe Change!" Motes of brown light exploded from the bracelet around his wrist. The light formed around him, becoming his armor.

"Oh, crap," Drake said, catching a glimpse of the armored figure as he dodged a slash.

"Metal Fist!" The armor on his hands turned silver and swelled into a small spiked mace.

Akuro spun around to face this new threat, raising his sword to block. However, his time limit finally expired, his armor detached and his katana shrank. The stranger's fist slipped past the blade and slammed into the Stu's face, launching him backwards. He crashed to the ground and didn't get back up.

The stranger raised his head to stare at Drake.

"I really didn't expect you guys to cross dimensions just to get this back from me," the agent raised his metal-clad arm.

"I'm not here for that trinket," the newcomer scoffed. "Where's the Chimera Brace?"

"The what?" Drake frowned beneath his helmet. "Never heard of it."

"I find that hard to believe," he said. "You were part of the group that stole it!"

"You'll have to be more specific," Drake said. "I've stolen lots of stuff in my lifetime. Though lately most of it was just chocolate. Sure you're not looking for a Hershey bar?"

The stranger sighed, summoning his sword. "You know I can just bring you back for questioning."

"You can try, birdbrain" Drake shot back, his spear appearing in his hands.

"My name is Griff," he launched himself at Drake.

The agent blocked a slash with his spear. He shoved and Griff stumbled backward. The spear swung towards Griff's chest, but he ducked and thrust his sword. The point slammed into Drake's damaged chest armor.

Griff back flipped away. He slashed his sword across the ground. "Metal Avalanche!"

Pieces of macadam and dirt exploded from the ground and at Drake. He leapt over the wall of earth. Griff anticipated the move and jumped toward him, thrusting his foot out. The kick hit Drake's ribs, knocking him back to the ground.

He groaned and held a hand to his side. Nothing felt dislocated or broken.

"Please, I don't like one-sided battles," Griff said.

"Maybe you should practice more then," Drake quipped.

"Iron Divider!" Griff held his sword in front of himself. A swarm of tiny gray particles rushed toward the blade, covering it and quadrupling its size. He charged forward, carrying the massive sword with both hands.

"That's the second biggest sword I've ever seen," Drake ducked a swing of the large sword. He jumped back, avoiding an overhead slash that shattered the pavement.

"Slicing Gale!" Griff raised his sword and the arcs of wind bounced harmlessly off the blade.

Griff slashed upwards, the blade hit Drake's chest and knocked him skyward. As he fell back towards the ground, Griff drew the Iron Divider back and swung. The strike knocked Drake forward and he skidded across the street, leaving a trail of broken macadam behind. He groaned as he finally came to a halt. His armor dissolved into motes of blue light.

"I think you overdid it," the draguirrel shouted from his hiding place beneath a parked car.

"Hey, he's out isn't he?" Griff said.

"Buddy, you just made a very big mistake," Michael said.

Griff spun around. The chief agent glared at him, sword in hand. Griff rested his sword on his shoulder.

"What are you going to do?" he asked. "Unless you've got something better than that sword…"

"Actually, I do," Michael replied. Several plotholes opened next to him and out stepped a small squad of Society agents. "I have backup."

Griff stepped back as Tyler, Jared, Ben, Pete, and Christoph glared at him. "I don't suppose we can talk this out?"

Tyler rushed at the armored man. The Ping-Pong paddle in his hand morphed into his staff. Griff blocked the staff with his sword.

"Henshin, light," Pete said, white armor covered him and he drew a pair of pistols. He took aim and fired at the two combatants.

Ben raised Bahamut and pulled his fingers across the guitar strings. Bolts of energy shot from the instrument.

Tyler leapt over Griff's head, swinging his staff down and hitting his opponent's back. Griff stumbled forward and barely managed to raise his sword in time to block the blasts of energy coming at him. Cracks appeared in the Iron Divider as the energy exploded against it. Jared charged forward.

"Boomhammer!" Jared exclaimed slamming his hammer down on the Iron Divider. The blade exploded apart, leaving only the normal-sized sword behind.

Griff seized Jared's shirt and tossed him to the side. Christoph took his place, stabbing a sai into Griff's shoulder armor. He cried out in pain as the blade managed to penetrate a weak spot in the armor. Christoph blocked a sword slash with his other sai.

Michael leapt alongside the ninja and swung his sword. Griff blocked with his weapon, but Christoph used the distraction to rake a sai across his chest. Michael slashed upwards and knocked the sword from Griff's grip.

Griff leapt backwards, avoiding a pair of slashes from the two agents. He landed in a crouch. The draguirrel ran over to him and leapt onto his shoulder.

"Let's get out of here," the creature said.

He didn't wait for a reply and spat out a stream of blue flames. The fire twisted around and a plothole opened within it. Griff dashed into the portal and it closed before the stunned Society agents could react.


Drake groaned and blinked his eyelids open. He stared up at the familiar ceiling of the Medical Wing. "Ah, damn."

He glanced down and found bandages wrapped around his chest. Pain flared in his chest as he pushed himself upright.

Valerie glanced up from her paperwork and frowned. "Try not to move around too much."

"How long am I going to be stuck here?" Drake asked.

"Not long," she replied. "Michael and Tash want to ask you what happened."

Drake nodded. "Did we capture the Stu?"

"Yeah, they got him," Valerie stood up and left the room.

He sighed and studied the ceiling, trying to rehearse his story for the two leaders.

After a few minutes, footsteps sounded in the hall. Michael, Tash, and Valerie entered the room. Valerie went back to her paperwork while the other two sat on the empty bed across from Drake's.

"So who was that guy?" Michael asked.

"He called himself Griff," Drake replied. "He comes from my home fandom. I don't know much more about him though."

"We kind of already figured that," Tash said. "What'd he want with you?"

"He thinks I stole something from his group," Drake replied. "I've never even heard of it, but if they want it back it's probably dangerous."

"Did you steal it?" Michael asked, careful to keep his tone neutral.

"I might have," Drake shrugged. "I ran with a band of outlaws. We didn't always know what exactly we were going after; all that mattered was getting paid."

Tash and Michael shared a look.

"Most of our marks were ancient ruins and stuff," Drake added, his tone defensive. "Nothing anybody would ever miss."

"You said he belonged to a group?" Tash asked.

"Yeah, the Beast Knights Guild," Drake nodded. "They're a bunch of mercenaries. Hire themselves out to towns to get rid of monsters bothering them, or help with a war. They've got lots of influence back home."

"And they can move between fandoms?" Michael said.

"Rumors said they were trying to breed draguirrels that could move through dimensions," he replied. "Normally they can only use their abilities to teleport."

"Why would they want to do that?" Tash asked.

"Probably to expand their business ventures," Drake replied. "Pickings are getting rather slim back home. That's what happens when you're too good at your job. Monsters are learning to stay away from towns that can afford protection."

"So we could end up dealing with more of them," Tash said. "We really don't need more enemies."

"I'll try and do something about it," Drake said. "I've still got connections in my home fandom. I might be able to find their little trinket and get it back to them."

"But not until you're healed up," Valerie said.

"Right," Drake nodded reluctantly.

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