Thursday, August 18, 2011

Insert Computerized Universe Here

Tyler was munching on a cookie (his own, he had temporarily given up stealing Adrian's after that boulder…) and waiting for news of Faya, the Sue who had already escaped from him twice, although once with the help of Relyt, Tyler's doppelganger from the Mary-Sue Protection Society. Tyler had just finished his cookie and was creating a strategy to take down Faya when his communicator beeped.

"Tyler, it's Tash. Faya's been spotted in the Code Lyoko fandom, so…"

"On it!"


In Lyoko, a computerized world discovered by a group of friends, things were spiraling into control. Faya, the amazing-figured, green-eyed, red-haired Sue had arrived. She quickly made friends with the group, Jeremy, the computer whiz who got everyone into Lyoko, had decided to show Faya the virtual world. This plan was immediately agreed to by Ulrich, the stereotypical "cool kid," and Jeremy immediately sent her in, despite protests from Odd, the joker, and Yumi, another "cool kid," and Ulrich's supposed love interest. Of course, once Faya arrived on the scene, that all went out the window. When Ulrich saw her in her form-fitting outfit which accentuated her natural curves, it was love at first sight. Aelita was kicked out of the fandom because Faya replaced her. And when XANA, the evil entity that existed in Lyoko, attacked with a horde of monsters, Faya simply took out her prismic spear and fried them with a single blast of light. She didn't even break a sweat. For Ulrich, this was the clincher. He swept up Faya and gave her a long, wet, kiss, completely disregarding the fact that he was in a kid's show. After, this, the Society learned of Faya's activities in the fandom, and sent in an agent to correct it. That's what Tyler was doing in the rocky mountain sector, home to the mysterious floating rocks, being attacked by Hornets.

Tyler parried a laser bolt with his staff, dropped to the ground, and rolled under the Hornet that had fired at him. He leapt up, clinging to the back of the Hornet. He immediately was thrown off by the humming wings, landing painfully on the ground. He hopped to his feet, blocking another blast, then slammed his staff into the Hornet's Eye of Xana, the strange symbol where its eyes should be. He jumped back just as the Hornet exploded into spare parts. Tyler looked around for Faya, but saw nothing, only space and a few other floating rocks.

"Well, if there are Hornets, then Xana must have activated a Tower, so that means I should be seeing Faya soon..." Just then Faya, Ulrich, Yumi, and Odd all came running around a corner and streaking towards him. "Speak of the devil..." Tyler held up a hand imperiously.

"Stop in the name of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society!" Nobody stopped, so Tyler waited until they got closer, then tripped them all with magic. Ulrich rolled to his feet first, followed by Odd and Yumi. Faya came up last, so she could go to the back. Tyler watched the three warriors approach, and fired a beam of magic at Ulrich, knocking him back. As Odd came close, Tyler stepped aside and brought down his staff, sending Odd back to Earth in a spray of latticework. Yumi turned, but Tyler had already blasted her out of Lyoko.

"That's weird, they're both good fighters, but I took them out with no trouble. I guess Faya's using them as staff fodder to emphasize how powerful she and Ulrich are."

Tyler was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of Ulrich shouting "Triplicate!" By the time Tyler was paying attention, Ulrich had split into three and was running a triangle around him. Tyler spun his staff around him, sending out an energy wave that destroyed the two fake Ulrichs and sent the real one tumbling away.

Ulrich rolled to his feet, unsheathing his twin katanas, and charged Tyler at lightning speed. Tyler blurred away just as fast, but Ulrich still slashed his side. Tyler grunted in pain, but when he checked his side, there was no wound.

"I guess it's the fandom. If I get too badly hurt I'll devirtualize, but anything else won't do much."

Once again, Tyler was interrupted by Ulrich's attack. This time, Ulrich zoomed in a circle around Tyler, then struck from behind. Tyler spun around, barely blocking Ulrich's first blow, and avoiding his second sword by an inch. Tyler lunged, hoping to take Ulrich off guard, but the swordsman crossed his blades, stopping Tyler's attack cold, then slid to the side, slamming the hilt of one sword into Tyler's gut. Tyler cried out and dropped to his knees, but when Ulrich moved in for the final blow, Tyler donkey-kicked him onto another rock.

Tyler stood up, firing a binding spell at Faya, who had made a break for it while Tyler was on the ground. This time, the spell held, pinning Faya in place. Tyler quickly turned his attention back to Ulrich, who was slashing at his head.

"This is from Faya!"

"And this is from Neo," replied Tyler evenly, bending back to avoid the attack, then snapping his head forward into Ulrich's face, stunning him. Tyler took the opportunity to trip Ulrich with a lunge from his staff, but Ulrich rolled to his feet and slashed at Tyler, who jumped back and found himself teetering on the edge of his rock. Just as Ulrich jumped forward to strike, Tyler blurred back onto the next rock over. He stuck out his tongue at Ulrich, who let out an unrecognizable sound and jumped at Tyler, who stepped back to dodge, responding with a pulse of energy that knocked Ulrich down and gave Tyler some breathing room.

Tyler readied his staff in a defensive position, and when Ulrich jumped back up to attack, Tyler easily blocked his first several blows, but after a while, Tyler began to wear down. To block several attacks, he had used a defensive shield, and the magic was starting to take its toll.

"Can't keep this up for much longer... gotta end this quick." Tyler parried two slashes in a shower of sparks and slammed Ulrich in the face and gut at the same time. The yellow-clad swordsman stumbled back, and Tyler swung at his head. Ulrich blocked and backpedaled, Tyler shooting several small bursts of magic at him.

That's when Faya decided to help out. Pressing a button on a small remote, she summoned a robot. It looked humanoid, and it carried a large ax. It swung the ax at Tyler, who jumped back, then jumped forward and kicked the robot in the chest. The magic stored in his foot (i.e. they stink) not only prevented Tyler's leg from breaking, they melted a dent into the robot's chest. The robot (who I'm gonna call Rob for convenience) swung his ax again, and Tyler backflipped away to safety, then twirled his staff frantically as Ulrich rejoined the battle with a series of slashes. Tyler jumped away as Rob cleaved down again, smiled as the blow headed for Ulrich, then frowned as Ulrich grabbed on to the ax, rode it into the air, then jumped off and slammed his swords down where Tyler had been a second ago. Rob prepared for another swing, but Tyler rolled around Ulrich and cut Rob in two with a blade of energy. Unfortunately, this left him open, and Tyler just noticed Ulrich's attack in time to blur away from it. Unfortunately, this left him in the middle of the air. Tyler blurred forward, hanging on to the edge of the cliff, then levered himself over Ulrich's head. Ulrich stabbed upwards, but Tyler hooked their weapons together and pulled Ulrich into a backbend. Ulrich flipped over Tyler's head, landing in front of him.

"Ha!" said Ulrich and Tyler simultaneously. Ulrich looked puzzled.

"Wait. I'm saying ha because I'm about to win. Why are you saying ha?"

Tyler answered by rolling under Ulrich, knocking him down like a bowling pin. Ulrich rolled to his feet, slashing up at Tyler, as the latter formed a shield to defend. Then, Tyler expanded the shield, pushing Ulrich further back. Ulrich was about to try again when Tyler lunged at him and placed a small sticker on his chest. Ulrich twitched once and then stopped fighting. Tyler waved a hand in front of his face. Ulrich did nothing.

"I think the shock from that Copyright stunned him. I'll take him out now." Tyler blasted Ulrich with a bolt of magic, and the warrior disintegrated. Faya's eyes widened, and she turned to run. Tyler followed.

"Can't let her get to Carthage. She could take over Lyoko from there." Tyler looked up and saw that they were reaching the edge of the sector. Using her Sue powers to summon the Transport Orb, she zipped off to Carthage, Tyler hanging on for dear life.


In Carthage…

Faya went flying out of the Transport Orb, closely followed by Tyler. The two of them hit the ground hard, Tyler trying to roll closer to Faya so he could get a Prohibitor on her, Faya kicking him away. They rolled to their feet, Tyler readying his staff and Faya preparing a spear strike. Tyler surreptitiously slipped out a Prohibitor as Faya attacked. Tyler dodged to one side and used Faya's momentum to get a Prohibitor onto her wrist. There was a flash of light, and Faya's Sue abilities, along with her spear, disappeared into nowhere.

That's when everything went wrong. Wait, no, that's wrong too. A Plothole opened in midair and dropped Relyt into the fandom. The Protection Society Agent admired his bright blue surroundings for a moment before turning his attention to Tyler. Relyt sneered.

"So, my pathetic clone has come to deal with a Sue. Pity he won't even be leaving this fandom."

Tyler shook his head sadly.

"If Shirley were here, you would be dead by now. She hates clichés."

Relyt shrugged.

"But she isn't, and you're the one who ends up dead here."

"I'll take you up on that, ten to one."

Relyt smiled, kicking Tyler away from him, then grabbed Faya and slung her through a Plothole into another fandom. He then returned his attention to Tyler. Tyler had already prepared a blast and fired it as Relyt turned to face him. The doppelganger parried, jumping forward and cleaving down at Tyler, who jumped to one side. Relyt snarled and attacked with a wild sweep, tripping Tyler and bringing the staff down. Tyler held the staff away with his legs and pushed Relyt to the ground. The twin selves leapt to their feet and attacked each other… and were suddenly thrown back by an unseen force. They turned around to see Will, standing on the back of his Manta. The black-suited warrior jumped into the air and drew his huge sword, flipping towards the two. Relyt smirked and grabbed Tyler by the throat, hurling him at the oncoming Will. Tyler gulped as Will slashed at him, but blocked, skidding past Will and sending the swordsman flying at Relyt. Relyt dodged back and struck at Will, who flicked the attack aside and began dueling with Tyler's evil twin. Tyler, meanwhile, had just landed, and was running in to deal with Will. Will, however, heard him coming, and flipped over Tyler, letting him slam face first into Relyt. The two stumbled off in different directions, and Will turned around, preparing to fire a blast of smoke at the dizzied Agents. Before he could do that, Relyt recovered, leaping towards him. Will fired at him, but Tyler had already fired his own attack at Relyt, knocking him out of the way. Relyt rolled to his feet, and the three fighters stood in a triangle, each one's eyes flicking between the other two. Will moved first, jumping at the two while spinning. Tyler dodged under the blade, while Relyt dodged over. The two attacked Will at the same time, but he just transformed into smoke and zipped away, and the two smacked each other.

This time, Tyler recovered first, slamming his staff into Relyt's gut. The latter stumbled back, then spun around as Will attacked, knocking the third backwards. Relyt smiled, but his smile disappeared as Will slashed at him. Relyt blocked and returned the favor with a slam to the face. Will groaned as he was thrown back, but quickly got to his feet, just in time to block an onslaught of strikes from Tyler, who leapt away to attack Relyt with a similar assault. Relyt, however, blocked quickly and threw Tyler away. The Manta let out a cry and flew in to finish Tyler, but Tyler blurred onto its back. After some experimentation, Tyler figured out how to steer the beast. He flew towards Will and Relyt, who were dueling viciously, and prodded the Manta hard in its Eye of Xana. The Manta fired a blast at the two, blowing them off their feet. Will recovered first, and seeing Tyler riding his mount, he let out a war cry and bounded forward. Just as he stabbed at Tyler, the Agent sprang off the Manta's head, and Will's sword pierced through the Eye. The Manta let out a screech of pain and exploded. Tyler twisted in midair, kicking Will into the great beyond. The black-clad swordsman disappeared into a tendril of smoke that quickly disappeared into nowhere. Tyler wasn't paying attention to this though. When he had landed back on solid ground, Relyt had immediately rushed him. The two were now well into a complex duel that involved large amounts of magic use. Finally, Tyler managed to kick Relyt away and take a breather.

"Man I'm tired. I've definitely been using too much magic. Time to get back to the basics." Tyler charged at Relyt, who seemed to be just as tired, and landed several punches and kicks. Relyt went flying backwards and landed hard, but stood up with a wide grin.

"Seriously, you think I would just let you beat me up? I was using your energy to recharge my magic. Thanks for the boost."

"Anytime. By the way, check your shirt."

Relyt looked down. There was a small, glowing, mass on his chest.



Relyt went flying back again. This time, he had created a small shield to block the worst of the bomb Tyler had planted on him. He got up more slowly this time.

"You, Tyler, are way too into explosions!"

"That's not true! Just because I specifically built a reusable bomb into my primary weapon so that I could use it whenever I wanted to doesn't mean I like explosions too much!"


Relyt jumped at Tyler, and the two went back to their old standby of beating each other up. Relyt delivered a punch to Tyler's face, and Tyler responded by kneeing Relyt in the groin.

"Owwww…" Relyt groaned. "No fair…"

"You must have confused me with someone who cares," replied Tyler cheerfully. Relyt just moaned. Then a pair of Mantas came along.

"This'll cheer ya up, Relyt!" Tyler grabbed Relyt's arm, launching him onto one of the Mantas. Tyler jumped onto the other and made it a blast at Relyt's, who swerved to avoid it.

"See, you're getting the hang of it!" called Tyler to Relyt.

"I am not getting a hangover!" called back Relyt, still slightly groggy from Tyler's knee.
"Hangover? How did he get to that?" Tyler fired another blast, but this time, after dodging, Relyt wheeled his Manta around and fired a blast at Tyler, who jumped over it and landed back on his Manta. Tyler responded by firing a volley of his magic blasts. Relyt avoided all of them, except for one which struck the tail of the Manta. The Manta roared in pain and sent a small block with the Eye of Xana on all sides flying at Tyler. Tyler looped away from it, the block exploding inches from his head. Tyler smirked. He fired several blast at Relyt, but then turned a 180 and let loose a mine at Relyt, who was busy parrying the laser blasts and didn't notice as the mine approached. Just as Relyt deflected the last blast, the mine slammed into his Manta, sending it careening off course. Relyt struggled to right the Manta, while Tyler swooped in.

Just as Tyler prepared to fire, Relyt's Manta spun around, and the two monsters slammed into each other. They separated, then collided again. This time, Tyler and Relyt locked staves, skidding past each other and curving around for a second blow.

"Give up, Tyler!" Relyt screamed from above, diving in to attack.

"Not a chance, Relyt!" yelled back Tyler, rolling around to dodge. Tyler turned around, bearing down on his counterpart. When he was a yard above Relyt, Tyler prodded his Manta, dropping down and buffeting the Protection Society Agent. Relyt gave ground, then looped, coming up behind Tyler. Relyt fired a blast, catching Tyler's Manta in the base of the tail. The Manta shrieked in agony, wheeling towards Relyt and firing a round of blasts. Relyt navigated the barrage and leapt at Tyler's mount, slamming his staff into its Eye. The Manta exploded, sending Tyler and Relyt flying. Relyt jumped back onto his own Manta, while Tyler rolled onto the platform the Manta had been circling. Relyt flew in for the kill, and Tyler grabbed on to his Manta, climbing onto its back. Tyler and Relyt exchanged several blows, Tyler sliding down to the Manta's tail and using it as a springboard. Relyt ran at him, but Tyler knocked him to the ground. Tyler stood over Relyt triumphantly until the doppelganger tripped him with a blow to the shin. The two pummeled each other ferociously, not paying attention to the fact that they were on a giant flying manta ray. Finally, Tyler pushed Relyt onto the tail, and tied a knot around him. Tyler took control of the Manta, flying in random patterns. Relyt, on the other hand, was continually slamming into the walls, ceiling, and floor of Carthage.

"I-OW-will-ooh!-kill-ow- ow- ow- you-someday!" screamed Relyt, bouncing off the platform.

"I know. But for now, I think I'll enjoy myself," replied Tyler, bashing Relyt into a wall. Relyt snarled and began pushing at the knots. After five minutes, and fifty collisions, Relyt pushed his way out of Tyler's knot. He grabbed hold of the Manta's tail.

"Time to die, Ty-ty," Relyt crooned, hurling Tyler and the Manta onto the platform. They landed hard and the Manta flew. Tyler groggily stood up as Relyt walked over, grabbing him by the throat.

"Now, I show you what I was talking about." Relyt tossed Tyler into the air and raised a fist glowing with magic. Tyler gaped, even though he was falling through the air.

"Oh muffins."

Relyt slammed the fist into Tyler's gut and the explosion propelled him across the platform.

"You didn't think I was just going to lie there and take that, did you?" Relyt asked mockingly.

"The thought crossed my mind." Tyler mumbled from his end of the platform.

"Well you were wrong!" Relyt snapped.

"Yeah, you should look behind you." Tyler warned.

"Yeah right! I won't fall for that trick!"



Relyt was sent flying by a laserbolt to the back. He slowly picked himself up.


The Manta was hovering in front of him, looking very upset. Relyt gulped as it flew towards him. Suddenly a blast of magic came from behind, vaporizing the Manta. Relyt turned around. Tyler was standing behind him, his staff smoking.

"Why would you stop the Manta from killing me?"

Tyler smiled happily.

"Because that's my job."

Tyler fired a second blast, hitting Relyt in the face and knocking him down. Relyt slowly stood up. Tyler ran over and extended his hand…to punch Relyt in the face. Relyt reeled back, stunned. Tyler followed up by stomping on Relyt's foot.

"Owww…" moaned the doppelganger.

"Random blast of magic that shouldn't have a name but I wanted it to so it does!" screamed Tyler, blasting Relyt into the air. When he came down, Tyler hit him with an energized uppercut. Relyt went flying again, but this time Tyler let him hit the ground. Relyt stood up, eyes blazing.

"You…" Relyt fired a huge sphere of magic at Tyler, who blurred away from it. Tyler prepared to strike… and it exploded in his face. Tyler flew into the air and landed hard. Relyt collapsed laughing. Tyler stood up, bright red.

"Well… er… all part of my plan?"

"What plan? Your plan to make a fool of yourself? Because it's doing quite well."

"Owww… .my head…" Tyler rubbed his skull. Relyt was still trying to stop laughing.

"Now, stop fooling around and fight, you little…" Tyler had already blurred to a foot from Relyt and was holding a blade of magic to his thoat. "You were saying?" asked Tyler cheerfully.

"Um, I was just saying how great and powerful you are."

"I'm not convinced."

"Too bad." Relyt slammed an elbow into Tyler's gut, then flipped him over his head. Tyler hit the ground with an "Oof!"

Relyt smirked. "Now, it's my turn."

Relyt brought his staff down where Tyler's head had been a moment ago. Tyler jumped to his feet.

"Oh, no you don't!"

"Oh, yes I do," replied Relyt, bringing his staff back up to slam into Tyler's jaw. Tyler stumbled backward, and Relyt smacked him with a hand of magic. Tyler retaliated with a slash, but Relyt jumped away and swiped Tyler in the ribs. Tyler sent a wave of magic at Relyt, who rolled with the attack. Relyt sent a sphere of energy at Tyler, who reflected it back at Relyt, who reflected it back at Tyler, who reflected it back at Relyt, who reflected-

"ENOUGH! THIS ISN"T PING-PONG!" screamed Tyler and Relyt simultaneously. Then they realized something.

"Hey, did we just agree on something?" asked Relyt.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Oh well, there goes the universe as we know it."

"Ha ha. Now, do you think we should act on it?"

"Nah, we can't kill the writer, it's not polite."

"Since when have you cared?"

"This is the author. He is God. We do not defy him."

"Whatever. So we should get back to killing each other?"


"Okay." Tyler leapt at Relyt and punched him in the face. Relyt responded with a kick to the shin. Tyler hopped on one foot for a while before recovering and poked Relyt in the eye. The Protection Society Agent howled in pain and socked Tyler into the middle of next week. Okay, just a few seconds into the future. Either way it hurt. Tyler grabbed Relyt's ear and pulled. Relyt yelped in pain. Tyler's jaw dropped.

"Can you teach me how to make that sound?"

"Oh shut up." Relyt punched Tyler away, and Tyler kneed him again.


"Wow, I thought only bats could do that!"

"Shut up!" Relyt squeaked.


"Then perish in flames!" Relyt produced a flamethrower.

"Where did you get that from?" asked Tyler, somewhere between "nervous" and "panicking."

"A little gadget the Protection Society dreamed up when we didn't have to worry about making Prohibitors and Copyrights."

"That does…?"

"It's called a Space Hammer. It shrinks to the size of a small playing card and can transform into any weapon."

"Sounds pretty Stu-ish to me."

"Only if it actually worked more than 20% of the time."


"Now, where were we? Oh right, you were about to die." Relyt turned the flamethrower on full blast. At this point, Tyler would like to say that he stood his ground and found some clever way to defeat Relyt. He'd like to say that, but the truth is, he ran like a maniac. Relyt laughed like a maniac, firing his flamethrower indiscriminately. Tyler attempted to attack Relyt with magic, but the blasts were canceled out by the stream of flame. So Tyler took the only intelligent option available. He opened a Plothole back to the Library and leapt through it just as a huge fireball hit where he had been a moment ago. Relyt groaned, but opened a Plothole of his own and stepped through it.


"The Protection Society is getting stronger every minute, isn't it?" Tyler commented.

"Yeah, it looks like it," replied Drake.

"You know, we should probably be trying to get down, shouldn't we?"


The two were tied up, hanging over a huge plate of Oreos.

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