Saturday, September 17, 2011

Insert Overuse of Nuclear Devices Here

Adrian was walking around with a brown file in hand. The file had the name 'Call of Duty 4' imprinted on the cover. Apparently, he had been finding Doug for the past hour in dealing with the fandom Maya had recently entered, where the Society's computers picked up the Bookmark signal. He walked past the kitchen and found Tash munching on a sandwich.

"Tash, have you seen Doug?" asked Adrian.

"Well, not since this morning since I went past his booby traps to get to his sandwich… THIS IS GOOD!" Tash said with her mouth full of the creamy concoction of condensed milk and Milo powder.

"Is that the Milo sandwich?" asked Adrian, his mouth watering. It was watering so much that Tash noticed it and quickly stuffed the sandwich into her mouth. Adrian frowned.

"Come, my little kitten. Let's find our missing Agent," said Tash, walking out of the kitchen and patting Adrian's head. His tail stood erected. They went to his lab and found no one in it. They then went past the Library common room and found Ben, acting out of character, reading a book.

"Ben, have you seen Doug?" asked Tash. Ben turned around and looked at the two leaders of the Society.

"Since when do you read a book?" asked Adrian. Tash nudged him so Adrian would stay on topic.

"Oh, he told me that he's back in his world to test a piece of new equipment for the Society," replied Ben, returning to his book. The leaders though for a while before remembering Doug told them about a portal into his world, and needing a key. They also remembered eavesdropping that he gave one of the keys to Ben so that Ben could get him when the Society needed him. Tash spoke.

"Ben, as de facto leader of the Society, I demand the key…" She stopped as soon Ben tossed a pen-shaped key to her, the same ones used by Rina and Terry. Tash was speechless for a moment.

"I though he said not to give the key to anyone else," commented Tash.

"He knew you were eavesdropping and he'd get keys for you and Adrian after the testing. By the way, the last time I went there, I was chased by an army of War Bears, only to be saved by a pack of dolphins," replied Ben, his eyes sticking to his book. Tash and Adrian stared at him awkward and left him for the encyclopaedia section. The book Ben was reading was 'Dealing with Bears for Dummies'.

Tash and Adrian reached the encyclopaedia section and pulled out the door-sized encyclopaedia of the word 'Guardian'. They set it down and saw a key hole matching the pen-shaped key Ben gave to them. Tash unlocked it and opened the door. They couldn't see beyond the door because it was dark.

"Adrian dear. Why don't you set the conference room while I fetch our Agent," said Tash, pecking him on the cheek. The Librarian purred in satisfaction. Adrian left while Tash summoned her staff and entered the portal, feeling prepared to face anything that may befall on her.


"We're going deep, and we're going hard," said a masked man with a German accent. He turned on a welding torch and began cutting.

"Surely, you can't be serious," commented a masked man with an American accent.

"I'm serious," replied the German masked man.

"And don't call me Shirley," said a third masked man with a Russian accent. The German masked man finished cutting, then punching through the cut he made. The three masked men dropped from the ceiling and observed their surroundings which look like an interior of a commercial airplane. With MP5 SMGs in hand, they quickly took cover behind corners and waited. They heard someone flushing the toilet and a terrorist came out from it. The American rushed and stabbed the bugger.

"Weapons free," declared the German, firing at another two terrorists down the aisle.

"X-ray down at Section-One-Alpha," announced the Russian. The American fired a few shots and hid behind the seats.

"X-ray down!" announced the American. They moved forward and found terrorists coming from another section of the airplane.

"Gas deployed," said the German, pulling the pin and throwing a grenade at the terrorists. A gas came out of the grenade canister, which made the terrorists begin to laugh uncontrollably. They gunned them down and went through to the next section of the aircraft. They fired at a group of terrorists hiding behind some seats. The bullets ricocheted and poked holes on the plane's hull.

"We've got a hull breach! Get down! Get down!" exclaimed the German.


The plane had a gaping hole on the fuselage, which immediately decompressed the entire area and sucked the terrorist out. The aircraft began to tilt a bit before readjusting level. The three soldiers moved forward and walked up to the second deck of the plane. More terrorists await them. The German threw another gas grenade at the terrorists and moved forward. The terrorists were laughing uncontrollably, dropping their arms and curled on the floor of the deck. After going through the last section of the airplane, they moved to the conference room where the target is located.

"Watch you fire up here. We're looking for…" said the German before the door of the conference room burst opened and a terrorist was holding Tash at gunpoint. The German pulled out his pistol and shot the terrorists through the leg and the head. Tash dodged and cowered on one side of the plane. There was a beeping sound coming from an open briefcase.

"Shit! Someone's armed the bomb. We don't have much time, we've got to go, now," said the American.

"Preparing to breach," said the Russian, planting a C4 explosive at the aircraft door. He hid behind some chairs and pushed the trigger. The C4 exploded, creating a hole where the door used to be. The German slung his submachine gun behind his back and pulled Tash off the floor.

"We're going for a little freefall, mate! On your feet!" Tash could only scream in horror as they jumped off the airplane. The American followed; the Russian soon after lifting a beer keg.

"Mission accomplished!" exclaimed the Russian.

"See ya next time, mate!" replied the German before the airplane exploded in mid-air.


Tash passed out when they leaped off the airplane. Now she found herself waking up on a log with bits of the parachute covering her. The surroundings showed that she was near a lake with the forest around her and mountains in the distance. She found herself at a campfire, with a beer keg and three faces looking into the fire. One of them was Doug.

"Woken up already, Tash?" asked Doug, looking at her. Tash rubbed her eyes and sat herself comfortable on the log she was sleeping.

"What just happened? Where are we?" asked Tash, bewildered.

"Don't worry. We're safe on the ground. Mind you, my eardrums almost exploded when you screamed in horror," replied Doug. The American blonde and the silver-haired Russian let out a small giggle.

"Who are they?" asked Tash, pointing at the other two characters.

"They're my brothers, Terry McCormick and Ivan Gredenko," replied Doug. Then Tash asked the question that Adrian had asked a fandom before.

"Are they joining the Society or something?"

"No, they were just helping out during their free time."

"But they're characters."

"Aw, not this again!" exclaimed Doug, slapping his forehead. Tash looked in confusion.

"He doesn't want to talk about it," spoke Terry on behalf of Doug. Tash nodded.

"Thanks Terry," said Doug.

"No problem," replied Terry.

"Doug, we need to talk," said Tash. There were 'oohs' and 'aahs' from Doug's brothers, which was not helping the situation.

"Hey! You guys know me! No offense, Tash, but I don't date older women!" remarked Doug, and his brothers replied with a low 'aww'. Tash just stared at their antics, and then began to speak.

"Doug, we have a situation in the Call of Duty fandom. Since it's in a war scenario, we're mobilizing every single Agent we can spare," said Tash. The three of them looked at her in surprise.

"You're not serious there, are you mate?" asked Doug in a fluent Australian accent.

"You don't actually want to send an entire Society to their doom in a war fandom?" asked Terry, his eyes wide open.

"You don't seriously think of going in there without taking vodka?" asked Ivan in a serious tone. Doug and Terry looked at him and Terry knocked him over with a beer bottle. Tash yelped in surprise.

"Excuse my brother. He needs to take a lot of alcohol just to keep himself sober," explained Terry. Tash nodded and spoke again.

"Well, you can give your best course of action at the meeting," said Tash. Doug nodded in agreement. Terry got up and picked up Ivan, who was knocked out by the beer bottle.

"Well, we'll be going, preparing for the insertion into the fandom," said Terry before disappearing in a flash of light. Tash looked on as Doug got up and doused the fire with a splash of sand.

"Who invited them?" asked Tash. Doug huffed.

"Since this IS a very dangerous mission, we're gonna need more than the Society could offer," replied Doug, getting ready to go back to the Library.

"Wait! How do we get out of here?" asked Tash, getting up and approached Doug.

"Easy, just hold the key and wish for the location," replied Doug, holding on his key. Tash searched around and found she did not have the key.

"I lost it," said Tash. Doug sighed.

"Okay, just touch me. You need to be in contact to be teleported," explained Doug. Tash held on his arm and Doug began chanting. They could feel something surrounding them, and before she knew it, they were back in the Library common room.

"How did you know I was on the plane full of terrorists?" asked Tash out of curiosity.

"We didn't. Our main target was actually the beer keg," replied Doug. Tash gave a disappointing 'oh'.


"Welcome to this urgent meeting," announced Doug as he took centerstage, explaining the fandom the Society is about to get involved, historically one of the most dangerous fandoms the Society had ever visited. He had his laptop on with the projector showing whatever the laptop screen was showing. It had short footages of the game, with soldiers from the different factions of the game in action. There were Russian Spetsnaz and British SAS troopers against the rebel Ultranationalists in Russia, and also USMC soldiers against the OpsFor in an unnamed Middle Eastern country. The Agents settled in and began to listen to what Doug had to say.

"As you all know, Maya has entered one of the most dangerous fandoms in Society history. Adrian and Tash told me that the entire Society has to get involved because the probability of an Agent dying in this fandom is almost 80% if gone alone," explained Doug, with footages of USMC soldiers rushing forward to a TV station against the relentless OpsFor, with up to 20 soldiers dying from a platoon of 50. Doug continued.

"For those who are experts in magic may fare better, but real world weapons are just as dangerous as the magic you cast. The fandom is locked on the level 'Veteran', where a single shot from a sniper could kill you, and two shots from a normal rifle spell death to any careless Agent." The Agents began discussing about even entering the fandom. Doug spoke again.

"But not to worry. My author has managed to bring in multiplayer aspects into the story. The 'Juggernaut' perk allows you to survive the gunshots enough to get out or take out the enemies that may appear before you," explained Doug. Then Tash lifted a hand up.

"But which story are we following in 'Call of Duty 4'? The USMC or the SAS ones?" asked Tash. Doug pulled out the map that Maya had manifested. It looks like a hybrid of the maps in 'Shock and Awe', and 'All Ghillied Up and 'One Shot, One Kill', with the Chernobyl power plant smack right in the middle of the map.
"My friends, she has taken the most dangerous maps of the game and combined them into one. The desert side is 'Shock and Awe'; the mission where the entire US Army entered the Middle Eastern city to capture one of the main antagonists, 'Khaled Al-Asad' and a nuke goes off. The cold winter side is 'All Ghillied Up' and 'One Shot, One Kill', where the SAS attempted to assassinate the main antagonist, 'Imran Zakhaev', in the abandoned city of Pripyat, Ukraine. They failed, and they had to escape," explained Doug before pulling out pictures of the main protagonists.

"And to make matters worse, she somehow managed to pull in all the characters of the game to her side. These are the characters that we must salvage from her," said Doug. The characters were Captain Price, Captain Macmillan, Gaz, Soap, Sgt. Jackson, SSgt. Griggs, and Lt Vasquez.

"The reason she took them is because throughout the game, these characters are the hardest to die. Plainly speaking, a grenade near them won't kill them. This may make it easier for us to get Copyrights at them, but the problem is getting to them. Currently, there are more than 500 times more A.I. soldiers than there are of us," explained Doug. There have been doubts of even going into the fandom.

"Thus, I have requested additional help from my author. He's going to help us by sending an army of his own soldiers into the fandom," said Doug, trying to dispel doubts the Agents had. Adrian spoke.

"But that makes the Society redundant in its role, isn't it?" asked Adrian.

"No, we needed the commanding manpower of the Society to lead my author's soldiers. Thus, your roles are not redundant. You ARE the commanders of my author's forces," replied Doug.

"Cool! I get to control an army!" said one Agent, as giddy as a schoolgirl.

"Good. Prepare and get geared up for it. We'll be leaving in half an hour," said Doug, closing the meeting. He then began discussing with the Society Leaders on roles for the entire Society.


A giant plot hole opened, and the Society exited the plot hole. They appeared in an army base, which was in the desert. Most of the Agents concluded that they were on the desert side of the map. The army base was huge; Leopard and Challenger tanks patrolling the perimeter, Panzerhaubitze artillery vehicles parked near the barracks, Eurocopter Tigers and Cougars landing and taking off with weapons systems, soldiers who are armed to the teeth warming up…even an airstrip for the AC-130 gunships and Eurofighter Typhoon jets to land and take off.

"Hey, I read this before. All this can be found in Doug's author's story, TSWAT," noticed Adrian. A short Asian man walked towards them.

"Thanks for stating the obvious," said the man. He stood no taller than Tash, had black hair and skin colour points out that he's of Chinese descent. He had a wireless headset on his head and wears a white lab coat. He let out a hand to Adrian. Adrian shook hands with the man.

"I'm the author, Douglas. Thank you for coming in to help capture Maya. By your standards, she has grown to a Level 8, as powerful as that Sue…" The author stopped, trying to remember the name of the Sue similar in power as Maya. Adrian continued for him.

"Willowe Foxblade?"

"Yes, that Sue. Because of the danger level of this fandom, I'm granting you all-level access to all my soldiers from my fiction, TSWAT. Good luck and Godspeed," said the author before taking a pen hanging around his neck and literally drawing a plot hole to head back to his world. The Society Agents stared in awe.

"He can do that?" commented Tyler, surprised. Doug, who was away on an errand, came back with a list.

"Listen up, guys. I'm going to assign you to your teams of soldiers which you will use to head in and capture Maya," announced Doug before looking at the list.

"On this side of the map, Harriet, as the Society leader, will run all our operations from the command centre here with the help of one of my author's friend. This will be our distraction force for a small insertion force on the winter side," said Doug, shaking hands with Harriet and leading her to the command centre of the base. After Harriet left, Doug continued.

"Tash and Aster will be operating on the AC-130s to provide air support. After all, it's the safest place in the fandom," announced Doug, pointing towards the AC-130 gunships on the tarmac. Tash gave a 'wow' after looking at the machine she was about to operate while Aster gave a 'Kyaa~'.

"Adrian and Rhia will lead a group of women soldiers with the help of my sister Rina, and with that another 10 platoons of PeaceKorps soldiers," announced Doug. Adrian looked at Rina and her team of women, and behind them 10 platoons of a hundred blue, bulky soldiers each. Adrian made a remark on their attire.

"You girls wear SKIRTS into battle?"

"You got a problem with that?" remarked Rina in an annoyed tone, which Adrian cleverly noticed and stopped asking questions. Rhia just looked on and giggled at the way Adrian shuddered. The teams headed to the waiting helicopters.

"Ben and I will go in with my brother and my team from TSWAT, together with two platoons of TSWAT personnel," said Doug. Ben was surprised that that he was picked to lead with Doug, especially after looking at the TSWAT personnel. TSWAT troopers looked very competent for their age. They too headed to the waiting helicopters.

"On the other side, Drake, Tyler, Christoph and Karissa will lead a team of ghillies, since the other side requires the skills of stealth and going through booby traps," announced Doug. Drake, Tyler and Karissa looked around and found no team of ghillies that Doug mentioned.

"Where are the ghillies?" asked Tyler.

"They are already on the other side of the map," replied Doug. The Agents nodded in agreement, before Drake noticed Christoph wasn't with them.

"Where's Christoph?" asked Drake. Doug pulled a contraption down from his head and looked through the contraption.

"He's there, sleeping," replied Doug, pointing at the spot where Christoph was meant to be. The Agents turned around and saw on one.

"But no one's there," said Karissa. Doug picked up a stone and threw at the location.


"OW!" screeched Christoph as he morphed out from his camouflage. The other three Agents giggled at him.
"Impossible! How did you see me, Lord Doug?" asked Christoph.

"Chris, you may be a ninja, but I can still see you with thermal goggles," replied Doug, pointing at the contraption over his eyes. Christoph cursed quietly and swore he will find a way to cheat technology. Doug sighed and continued.

"Danielle and Marcus will go in with the ghillies, as Danielle's foresight will be useful for spotting traps and Marcus' split personalities may be useful for helping the teams sneak in," continued Doug, and Danielle and Marcus joined the other four Agents.

"Valerie, Stacey and Monika, will stay back at base and help our chief surgeon from TSWAT, Cheryl Kisungji, to treat wounded soldiers as they exit the battlefield. In this desperate hour, your powers will be useful," said Doug to the three empaths, assuring them that if they couldn't stand the sights of war and death, they can leave as they please. Valerie and her team shook their heads, stating they're willing to help in any way possible. Doug nodded and the empaths headed towards the medical tent. Doug looked on.

"Let's go!" exclaimed Doug to the Agents before rushing towards the helicopter that was ready to takeoff. The helicopter consists of his team from TSWAT, Ben, Adrian, Rhia and Rina and her team as well. Doug got in and the helicopter took off.

"Adrian, I'm sure you heard I was testing a new piece of equipment for the Society. Well, here's the final product," said Doug loudly over the sound of the helicopter engines. He handed two canister-like grenades to Adrian.

"What's this?" asked Adrian.

"These are 'Laughing Gas' grenades. Just pull the pin and throw it at the intended target. The target will begin laughing; the effects can last up to 3 hours. But be warned, you need a gas mask if you don't want to get the effects," replied Doug. Adrian nodded. Their helicopter got up joined the other helicopters heading towards the city.


"This is Blackbird 3, we're approaching the city," announced the pilot of the helicopter.

"Copy that, Blackbird 3," replied the radio in a feminine voice. Adrian looked out of the helicopter and saw other helicopters flying in formation. The attack helicopters flew in ahead of the transport helicopters. There was an oil tower on fire. The Leopard and Challenger tanks rolled in with their turrets primed at the city. Eurofighter Typhoon jets zoomed past, dropping bombs and shooting down other jets from the sky. They were obviously US military aircraft, in control by the Sue. Some Cobra helicopters tried to intercept the transport helicopters from the flanks, but Tiger helicopters rushed in and took care of the Cobras. A missile flew past and grazed through the helicopter's underbelly. Adrian freaked out with a shriek.

"Settle down, Adrian. We're not there yet," said Doug and patted him on the back. After Adrian calmed down, Doug popped a Mentos into his mouth. The artillery vehicles quickly moved and stopped before the city, firing shells into the city. The tanks engaged the Sue-controlled Abrams tanks. Some transport helicopters broke formation and landed nearby, dropping troops to engage the other Sue-controlled USMC soldiers. The sky glowed with a burning red haze.

"We're approaching the drop point. Stand by," announced the helicopter pilot. Doug threw the half-eaten tube of Mentos out of the helicopter and pulled down his mask and his goggles. He pulled the bolt of his rifle as the helicopter began to land. Once the helicopter landed, they all jumped off the helicopter and rushed for cover. The helicopter took off, only to be shot by a missile. They looked at the direction where the missile came from. There was a group of USMC soldiers on top of a building. Doug recognized three of them immediately.

"Adrian, there's Griggs, Jackson and Vasquez. We need to get them," shouted Doug, pointing at the USMC group. Adrian nodded and they all rushed towards the building, but they were blocked by a platoon of USMC soldiers.

"Ach! Librarian Arts 9: Pillars of Knowledge!" yelled Adrian, driving his sword into the ground, and pillars of the word 'knowledge' inscribed in different languages burst out from the ground. The USMC soldiers were thrown out into the sky, but there were more troops coming in and they opened fire.


On the outskirts on the other side of the map, Drake, Tyler, Karissa, Christoph, Danielle and Marcus were crouching next to a tree, looking for the ghillies Doug had mentioned. All they saw was fields of overgrown grass.

"Where's the army he promised?" asked Tyler, feeling a bit worried. Christoph patted him on the back and spoke.

"Don't worry, we can go without them. With my ninja skills, I can detect anyone…" Christoph freaked out when someone tapped his shoulder. The other five Agents looked at each other before facing a man covered in grass and leaves, and carrying what looks like a sniper rifle. The man put a finger on his lips.

"Shh! I'm Ivan Gredenko, one of the many of ghillies hiding in this field. Are you the Society Agents?" asked Ivan in a low tone. The Agents nodded.

"Good! Follow me, we have to get through the radioactive areas without getting spotted," whispered Ivan, before walking forward while making a hand signal. More soldiers covered in grass and leaves appeared, freaking out all the Agents, especially Christoph.

"I thought ninjas are the most excellent silent assassins. I was proven wrong," commented Christoph. The Society Agents followed them.


(Back to the desert side)

Rhia was running up the stairs as fast as she could. The heat was enough to make her sweat. She reached the top floor. She kicked the door. It wouldn't budge. She tried hitting the door down with her body. She bounced back and rolled down the stairs. She moaned in pain. She could hear someone running up the stairs. It was a brunette with Asian features. She wore similar uniform as those worn by Rina and her team. Her hair never went past her shoulder. The brunette let out a helping hand.

"Is the door open?" asked the brunette. Rhia grabbed her hand and the brunette pulled her up from the floor. The brunette was at least a couple of inches taller than Rhia.

"No, the door won't budge. We have to go to another building," replied Rhia.

"That won't be necessary. Stay here," said the brunette. Rhia stayed and looked around for any hostiles as the brunette went up the stairs. The brunette came down seconds later with a detonator in her hand.
"Fire in the hole!" yelled the brunette as she pushed the trigger.


The brunette grabbed her sniper rifle.

"Come on, it's open," said the brunette. Rhia sighed and spoke.

"You're just like your boyfriend, Maddie," commented Rhia.

"Not exactly. It's actually part of the job description," replied Maddie. Rhia just shook her head and went up the stairs.


"We have the building. We'll give you sniper cover as you move on ahead," said Maddie on the radio.

"Thanks, Maddie," replied Doug as he let a few rounds from his rifle at the USMC soldiers. The USMC soldiers pinned the Agents down pretty well. But with sniper support from Maddie and Rhia, the USMC soldiers were taken out. Doug, Terry, Ben and few other troopers in their team went forward. A Humvee appeared around the corner. Ben released a blast of energy from his Bahamut, sending the Humvee flying. A USMC soldier appeared from behind a broken wall and was about to shoot Ben from the back when something chomped the soldier's head. The soldier screamed, which immediately attracted attention from Doug and Terry. They both fired their weapons on the AI soldier. Ben was shaken, but immediately regained composure.

"Thanks Shirley!" exclaimed Ben, putting thumbs up. Shirley didn't care; she continued munching on the dead soldier's head. Ben sweat dropped.


"This looks all too familiar," commented Adrian. Rubble-mostly consisting crushed cement blocks and dilapidated, war-torn buildings stuck out like skeletons. Debris of glass and carcasses of burnt vehicles scattered around the city blocks. Great patches of the undamaged earth as scorched black and glossy, the road surfaces warped into a razor-thin layer of glass from artillery shells and explosives. The song '21 Guns' appeared out from nowhere.

"Dude, pay attention! This is 'Call of Duty', not 'Bleach'!" yelled Rina as she dragged him to cover. Basically he was daydreaming in the crossfire between the Sue-controlled USMC soldiers and Society-backed PeaceKorps soldiers.

"Woah! What just happened?" Adrian snapped out of his flashback from his first mission as Society Agent. He and Rina were behind a broken wall; Rina was firing bullets at the USMC soldiers. Adrian stepped out of the broken wall and stood in front of the crossfire, again.

"What the hell are you doing?" yelled Rina. Adrian quickly chanted a spell.

"Librarian Arts 6: Shield of Silence!" chanted Adrian, and a shield engulfed him. The bullets and rockets that were heading towards him were stopped by the shield, which surprised Rina.

"Why didn't he do that in the first place!" exclaimed Rina. Adrian chanted another spell.

"Librarian Arts 2: A Thousand Words in an Instant!" Adrian disappears from view, and the USMC soldiers stopped firing. Rina put a hand signal to stop the PeaceKorps soldiers, and they all stopped firing too. The street became quiet. Then Adrian reappeared at the same spot where he chanted the spell. Rina and the PeaceKorps troopers rushed towards him.

"What did you do?" asked Rina. Adrian turned around and answered her. His face was covered in blood of the USMC soldiers.

"I slashed them all. The way is cleared," replied Adrian in a monotone voice. Rina stroked his back.

"They're not real, Adrian. They're computer-generated AI controlled by Maya," said Rina. Then a string of flames burst out from behind Adrian, scaring the Society Agent and all the idle soldiers. The soldiers rushed back to their positions and faced their next target; an M1 Abrams tank with a flamethrower turret. Adrian, who was hiding behind the same broken wall with Rina, took off his burning trench coat and dumped it.

"My beautiful trench coat…" said Adrian as he became teary-eyed over the loss of his trench coat. The tank was approaching the teams, and without an anti-tank weapon, running seemed to be a good option…


The tank was incinerated as artillery shells fell from the skies. The explosion was so close to the teams that it disorientated them for a bit. Then the radio crackled.

"This is Tash in the skies! You guys missed me?" said the radio. One of the PeaceKorps soldiers yelled a 'Hell Yeah!' Rina passed the radio to Adrian.

"Good to hear from you, Tash!" said Adrian on the radio.


(In the AC-130 Spectre gunship)

"These controls are easy!" exclaimed Tash as she played around with the joystick. She moved the camera around with the joystick, then pushing the red button to fire an artillery shell. The aircraft vibrated a bit from the cannons, but otherwise stable.

"Good job, ma'am. You're learning fast," praised the pilot, before answering to command. Tash felt that her throat was dry.

"Guys, don't you have any drinks abroad? I'm thirsty," said Tash.

"Well, we have beer," replied the TV operator.

"No beer for me. I'm teetotal," said Tash. The TV operator nodded and suggested another drink.

"We also have Vanilla Coke. The fresh taste of Vanilla, the refreshment of C…" A voice yelled on the radio.

"TV operator, you are breaching the rights reserved! I demand you stop immediately!" The voice was identifiable. It belonged to the author.

"Yes sir," replied the TV operator before putting a bottle of Vanilla Coke next to Tash. Tash opened the cap and started drinking it.


There was random fire coming from the AC-130 gunship in the sky. The shells were hitting dangerously close to the teams on the ground. Adrian was running away from the area.

"Tash! What are you doing?" screamed Adrian on the radio.

"Teeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!" was the only reply he got. Rina rushed towards Adrian.

"What's happening?" yelled Rina. The other PeaceKorps soldiers were running in the opposite direction; away from their target area.

"I don't know! Suddenly she was acting all high!" Then an artillery shell hit near them, causing them to duck for cover. Dust and debris covered their bodies.

"Is she nuts? That was just yards away!" yelled Rina, getting up from the ground. Adrian passed his radio to Rina.

"Patch me to the pilot!" yelled Adrian before another shell hit nearby. Rina ducked again as debris started falling again. Rina quickly readjusted the frequency of the radio and passed the radio back to Adrian.


"Ma'am! You're firing too close to the friendlies! Watch for the blinking strobes!" exclaimed the pilot.

"Heeheeheeheeheehee!" Tash was giddy as a toddler who found a fun thing to do. The radio crackled.

"This is Adrian! Who is that on the line?" the radio crackled with a very loud voice. The tone was not pleasing.

"This is AC-130 pilot speaking. I was telling off Miss Tash about firing dangerously close to allies on the ground," replied the pilot.

"Do better. Did you see the warning label on her back? From what I heard, she is extremely giddy," said Adrian. The pilot raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me, sir. She has a warning label?" The pilot was definitely surprised.

"Yes, she does. There are some things you're not meant to give her. Read it," replied the radio. The pilot put a hand around the microphone and asked the TV operator.

"TV, check Miss Tash's back for the warning label." The TV operator did as he was told. But it was hard; Tash was fidgeting and couldn't sit straight.

"Do not feed Coke…Oh dear," said the TV operator.

"What?" demanded the pilot.

"She was thirsty and I gave her Vanilla Coke…" The pilot pinched his forehead.

"Take the Coke away from her," commanded the pilot. The TV operator tried to take the bottle away from Tash but she quickly snatched it and held it close to her.

"My precioussssssss….." The TV operator got scared and reported back to the pilot.

"Pilot, she's gone Gollum like Lord of the Rings," responded the TV operator. The pilot face palmed and made a decision.

"Restrain her, TV. We're going back to base, boys," replied the pilot as he turned the gunship around.


"There goes our air support," commented Rina as her team and several PeaceKorps soldiers regrouped with her and Adrian. Adrian, who was looking at the gunship go, turned back to the soldiers. For the first time, Adrian actually recognized some of the soldiers, especially the women in Rina's team.

"I recognized you," said Adrian, pointing at a blonde in Rina's team. Soldiers turned around and looked at the mentioned blonde.

"Me?" asked the blonde, pointing to herself.

"Yes, you. You're Saber from Fate/Stay Night, aren't you?" asked Adrian.

"If you put it that way, then yes. But I'm a carbon copy, not the actual character. And please, call me Arthuria. I'd prefer it that way," replied the blonde. Adrian looked at Rina.

"You're telling me your author stole characters from other world and implement them into his world?" demanded Adrian. Rina immediately explained.

"No, he CARBON-COPIED them. They're not the exact same character as the one in other fandoms. That's why they looked and acted a bit differently." A gunshot was fired, hitting one of the PeaceKorps soldiers. The other ran for cover. Rina and Adrian hid at the same broken wall they hid before the AC-130 fiasco. Rina fired a few rounds back.

"Go on. I'm listening," said Adrian. Rina was annoyed by Adrian as she tried to deal with USMC soldiers.

"This is not a good time. Can we talk about this later?"

"No," replied Adrian sharply. Rina hid and sighed.

"Ok, fine. My author's not very good at creating characters. I mean, most of his characters are based on his friends. Doug is based on him, Terry is based on a friend with the same name and the one helping Harriet at the command centre, and I'm based on Doug. Does that sum it up?" explained Rina in an annoyed tone. Adrian was dumbfounded. Rina threw a grenade at the USMC soldiers before returning to Adrian.

"But because we're all original copies, it is highly unlikely for this so-called 'Protection Society' to have our direct opposites, because a Copyright will kill them off. Understand?" said Rina. Adrian nodded before getting up and moving forward to attack the AI soldiers.


(On the other side of the map…)

"There are troops, there, there, there, there and there," whispered Danielle, pointing locations on the map. With her gift of foresight, she managed to see upcoming events of if the Agents and the ghillie army went through the map without her. There would be deaths and they will be chased down; but not sure who. Danielle decided to stay back with some ghillies watching her back, coordinating from the starting point. The other Agents, Ivan and his six ghillies nodded, and they quickly moved to the first checkpoint. There was an abandoned house. Ivan, Christoph and Karissa moved first and looked inside from the window.

"Four tangos inside," said Ivan. Christoph immediately faded into the background.

"Where's he going?" asked Ivan. Karissa shook her head. They both looked inside the house again. They could see the outline of Christoph approaching the four Sue-controlled Spetsnaz troopers. He closed in and took them out swiftly with his pair of Sais. He then morphed out of the background. Christoph gave thumbs up. Ivan and Karissa moved to the corner of the house. They saw a trooper standing by a car. Ivan took aim and plucked him out. He made a hand signal and the other Agents and ghillies moved forward. They approached an abandoned church. There was a patrol and a watchout on the church tower. Karissa immediately went invisible and Christoph threw a shuriken at the patrol.

"Christoph! We still have a watchout in the church tower. He's going to see the body," whispered Ivan.

"No, he's not, Lord Ivan," replied Christoph.

"How do you know?" And before he knew it, the watchout fell off the church tower and hit the ground, killing him instantly. Karissa reappeared and gave thumbs up. Ivan sighed.

"And drop the 'Lord', just call me Ivan," stated Ivan to Christoph. Ivan kicked the door open on the church and everybody went into the church. Christoph, with his good sense of hearing, heard something coming.
"Did you hear that?" asked Christoph. Everyone else had their ears fixed on the sound.

"Enemy helicopter," replied Ivan. He waved at his team of six ghillies and they all picked up Stinger missiles in the church. Ivan and the six ghillies went out under the cover of shadows and looked into the sky. A Russian Hind appeared.

"Target locked," reported the six ghillies.

"Shoot the helicopter!" commanded Ivan, and they all came out from their hiding. All seven of them fired their rockets, not giving any chances to the helicopter. The helicopter spotted the missiles and ejected flares. But it was no use. Two missiles tracked to the helicopter and hitting it down. The helicopter spun out of control and crashed nearby. The Agents continued on. When they reached a broken pipeline, they stopped and hid behind it. An army of Spetsnaz and armoured tanks rolled from behind a mound and was heading towards them.

"Any ideas?" asked Drake. Tyler just shook his head. Christoph spoke.

"I could distract them," replied Christoph, ready to move. Ivan stopped him and shook his head. Suddenly, artillery shells fell from the skies and hit the army, incinerating them. The radio crackled.

"KYAA~!" was the only word they heard. Drake picked up the radio and replied.

"You're a life-saver, Aster," said Drake on the radio before they all moved on ahead.


(Back on the desert front)

"We've got the building! Ben, Terry, James, Yee Lin! Left side door breach!" yelled Doug and they all went for the door on the left side of the building. Adrian, Rina and her team raced past them and went on the right side.

"We're ready," said Rina on the radio.

"On my count. 1… 2… 3… Breach!" said Doug. Ben was standing in front of the door with the Bahamut in hand. He screeched a tune, and the door blasted open. Doug and his team went in and cleared the room. There were no soldiers in there. They could hear the other side explode and scattered gunfire was heard. They regrouped at the main stairs.

"They're up on the second floor!" said Doug and they went up the stairs. Before reaching the second floor, Doug stopped the teams and threw a laughing gas grenade into the floor. He then pulled down his mask. The rest followed. When they saw the gas engulf the room, they rushed in and tackled the laughing characters. Adrian, Doug and Ben stuck Copyright stickers on the characters and gave them oxygen masks. They were cured within minutes.

"Where the hell are we?" asked Vasquez.

"We're your ticket out of here, let's go!" replied Doug briefly and tossing an M16 rifle at Vasquez. The other characters were given their weapons, and they all went back to the streets. A PeaceKorps soldier came by and saluted at Doug. Doug saluted back.

"Call in the choppers! We need to evac these characters outta here!" commanded Doug.

"Yes sir!" replied the soldier and they led the characters to the extraction point. Another soldier came in with a case. He opened it and passed grappling gun devices at Doug and the Society Agents.

"Grappling Prohibitor Version 2!" announced Doug, slinging the Grappling Prohibitor to his back. The other Agents followed as well, slinging the Grappling Prohibitors on their backs. Rina, Terry and other PeaceKorps soldiers grabbed theirs. They all rushed towards a building that looks like the Chernobyl power plant at the horizon.


On the other side of the map, the Agents and the ghillies were inside a hotel overgrown with weeds. They were all looking at a location near the Chernobyl power plant with their binoculars. The area was filled with jeeps and Spetsnaz troopers. And in the middle was Maya, sitting in her throne with two ghillies flanking and two game characters directing the troopers. There were identified as the British team; Macmillan, Price, Gaz and Soap. Ivan spoke on the radio.

"Maya spotted with the four British characters. Command, please respond," said Ivan. There was static for a moment before an answer came by.

"The desert side has finally got the USMC characters and are now heading to your location. ETA: 90 seconds," was the reply. The Agents were already in their position, waiting for the signal. Ivan whispered to the other ghillie with him; one who was aiming with an M82 Barrett sniper rifle.

"Can you get a clear shot?" asked Ivan.

"Yea, but the wind's getting a bit choppy," answered the ghillie in a feminine voice.

"Do your best," replied Ivan. The ghillie continued aiming at Maya. It was for 30 seconds before Ivan gave the signal.

"Now!" said Ivan. The ghillie took a shot, which precisely hit the Sue in the head. The Sue-controlled characters looked around for the shot. That's when the Society Agents stepped in. The Society Agents rushed in and pushed out the Spetsnaz troopers away. The British characters rushed to position and opened fire at the Agents. The Agents took cover. Five of the ghillies rushed out of hiding and sniped off the annoying Spetsnaz AI, but careful not to take the characters out. That gave chance to the British characters to take out the ghillies. Russian Hinds came in. The Agents began pulling back. Maya got up with the bullet wound healed and struck back with psychic powers. She began lifting jeeps and hurling them at the Society Agents.

"She's got a lot stronger!" exclaimed Tyler, running away with Drake.

"Like we didn't notice!" replied Drake as they dodged a jeep. Suddenly, a missile flew past and hit one of the Hinds. The Society Agents looked towards the missile trails. The Agents from the desert side had finally joined them.

"Yes! Victory through numbers!" exclaimed Tyler before swinging his staff to his side and rushing towards the Spetsnaz AI. Drake followed after, activating his bracelet and forming a neo suit around his body to combat the troopers. He went in with speed, taking out most of the Spetsnaz troopers. The Agents from the desert side quickly rushed from the flanks, taking out the rest of the Spetsnaz troopers with gunfire, magic and 'Laughing Gas' grenades, leaving behind Maya and her four characters. Before Maya could react, Drake did a Storm Punch, sending the Sue flying to a nearby building. The characters were immediately Copyrighted, and taken away from the field. Helicopters began rushing in to collect the characters. Shells from Aster's AC-130 battered the downed Sue at the building she crashed on. The Agents quickly regrouped and looked at the blown-up area where Maya was. She had disappeared.

"What a gyp!" exclaimed Drake. The other Agents looked disappointed. Then they heard a crackle.

"You Society Agents are soooooooooo dumb," announced Maya, standing behind Drake. She punched Drake, sending him flying all the way where Ivan and the ghillie were positioned. Drake crashed through the wall with a bang, and the two snipers rushed down to get Drake.

"You ok, Drake?" asked Ivan. Drake got up and retracted back his neosuit.

"Wow, her punch damaged my suit so well that I have to bring it back for fixing. Looks like I'm out for the count," replied Drake. But the Sue didn't stop there. She immediately spotted Christoph and Karissa who were invisible, sending a kick to Christoph and a punch to Karissa. Karissa was sent flying off a few feet and Christoph over the power plant. Those Agents didn't have time to react, because she was moving in bullet-time. But that gave other Agents time to move; Adrian jumped 30 feet away, Doug dodged and rolled to a nearby obstacle, Ben started running away, Tyler crawled to get Karissa, Marcus barely being hit by Maya, and the soldiers were already flying in the sky. But Terry was way too far for Maya to reach. He quickly grabbed his Grappling Prohibitor and fired it at Maya. Maya dodged it.

"Damn!" exclaimed Terry as he dodged one of Maya's attacks. He tried dodging another, but Maya was way too quick for him that he got hit and he was hurled to the power plant walls. Ivan and the ghillie saw the attack and the ghillie got pissed.

"She kicked my brother," said the ghillie before running out of the hole in the wall.

"No!" yelled Ivan, but the ghillie wouldn't listen. The ghillie ran at breakneck speed; almost at Sue-speed, and tried to slash the Sue with one of her katanas. The Sue dodged and pulled out her own sword out of nowhere, slashing the ghillie on the face. The helmet flew off, revealing a Japanese girl with short black hair and pale skin. The blade only grazed her face, but the cut was instantly healed.

"Aha, the author's pet, Vespin. How amazing," mocked Maya. Vespin drew out her other katana and got into fighting stance and lunged at Maya. Maya dodged the attack. Vespin quickly spun around and sliced at Maya with her two katanas, managing cuts on Maya. Maya looked at her cut before they healed off. Maya looked back at Vespin; she was grinning.

"What's so funny?" Vespin charged at her, spinning the katanas like helicopter blades. Maya barely dodged the katanas; her blonde locks fell off as the blades cut through her hair. Maya quickly recovered and jabbed at Vespin. Vespin knocked her sword down and elbowed her face. Maya recovered and growled as Vespin got low into fighting stance again.

As Doug got up from escaping Maya's wrath, he looked over the obstacle and found Vespin sword-fighting with Maya. He quickly reached for his Grappling Prohibitor on his back but it wasn't there. He looked around and found a Grappling Prohibitor lying on the ground, near the fight scene. Doug made a decision.

"Even though Vespin is nearly a Sue herself, she has a weakness. If this goes on, Vespin will tire out and get killed by Maya," thought Doug as he rushed for the Grappling Prohibitor. At the fight, Vespin was getting tired after her third strike on Maya, managing a deep cut on Maya's abdomen. Maya gripped her abdomen and gritted her teeth in pain. Vespin felt drowsy; her vision fading out and dropping to her knees. Maya, with her wound fully healed, walked towards Vespin whose face got even paler.

"The puppy can't bite anymore? Then the puppy shall be put to sleep," mocked Maya as she raised her sword up, preparing to kill Vespin. Then a grappling hook flew and clenched her wrist, making her drop her sword. The Sue wailed in pain as the effects of the Grappling Prohibitor did its job. Adrian, who just recovered from jumping 30 feet away, quickly chanted a spell.

"Librarian Secret Art: Boot to the head!"


The Sue was sent flying, but the Grappling Prohibitor held her back. Doug reeled in Maya as Adrian used his to grab Maya's other wrist. Since she grew to a Level 8 Sue, the Society isn't taking any chances. Maya struggled with the Prohibitors as her powers started to fade. More grappling hooks came after her; grabbing her by the neck and both her ankles. Ben was holding one, while the other two was held by Rina and an unknown PeaceKorps soldier. Ivan quickly carried Vespin off the scene. Maya started to fall to her knees, but then she had one more trick up her sleeve. She screamed, and a wave blasted out from her head, disabling all the Grappling Prohibitors. She got her powers back and started lifting jeeps to fling at the Agents.

"I forgot to factor in EMPs! Why must Chuck Norris have his own jokes?" swore Doug, dodging one of the jeeps.


It was all so sudden. At the command centre, where Harriet was commanding with one of the author's friend, saw all the computers shorted out and no piece of technology worked.

"What happened?" asked Harriet, looking around the dim command centre. While the officers at the command centre tried to sort out the blackout problem on their computers, the engineers came in.

"An EMP blast occurred. The entire base is down," the engineers reported. Then a scream went through the base, breaking every glass in its way. It was lucky that the command centre was built like a box with 6-inch concrete. But even the thickness of the concrete cannot block the high-pitched scream. Everyone in the command centre had to close their ears because the pitch was enough to hurt their ears.

"Augh! Who's voice is THAT horrible?" exclaimed Harriet, cupping her hands over her ears. The author's friend (who is OBVIOUSLY named Terry), was unmoved by the scream, but he got worried. He grabbed the pen around his neck and literally drew a portal.

"Where are you going?" asked Harriet, putting her hands down as the scream has passed.

"I'm telling the author about the scream. I think it's best to get them out now. What do you say?" said Terry, waiting for Harriet to give the call. Harriet was silent for a while before making a decision.

"Get them home," replied Harriet. Terry nodded and jumped into the portal.


All the Agents were hiding from the enraged Sue, who had become more powerful than all of them combined. Doug, Adrian and Ben were hiding in a ditch; Tyler was holding up Karissa and hiding in an abandoned building; Christoph could only hope that Maya couldn't see him; Drake was looking at her from afar; Ivan walked as fast as he could with Vespin on his back to the starting point; Rina was pulling the unconscious Terry away from the field; Marcus could not be found and the PeaceKorps soldier who were with them were sprawled on the ground. From afar, it looks like a killing field.

"Now what are we gonna do?" asked Adrian, looking at Doug who was knocking his radio, hoping the action will make the radio work. It didn't. Doug threw the radio away in frustration.

"Our only means of communication is gone. What can we do? Take on her? If we do that, we're just as good as dead," replied Doug, feeling down. Then the sound of helicopters grew louder. They all looked up and saw attack helicopters firing all weapons at Maya. Maya just formed a shield bubble to block all the attacks. With a snap of a finger, she destroyed both helicopters. More attack helicopters came.

"What's the use? She'll just kill all of them," commented Adrian when another group of transport helicopters flew in and landed nearby. This time, helmeted troops with capes came out of the helicopters and rushed towards the Sue with swords and laser rifles.

"Whoa, what are they?" gasped Adrian. Even Doug was surprised.

"Those are my author's most loyal troops from his Command and Conquer fandom, the Royal Guards," replied Doug. A Royal Guard came and spoke to them.

"We're here to evac you guys outta here. We'll hold her off long enough," said the Guard. Doug nodded and waved at the Society Agents to get into the helicopters. When Ben was about to go, Doug stopped him.
"Ben, I need you for something." Just as every Agent and author's characters got on the helicopters, the transports got off the ground. Adrian noticed that Ben and Doug were staying back.

"Why are they not in the transports?" asked Adrian. The trooper in the helicopter answered him.

"They're on to something." After all the helicopters have left and the remaining Royal Guards slaughtered, Maya stood triumphantly with her nose high up.

"Ready?" asked Doug. Ben nodded. They both stood up from the ditch and pointed at Maya. Maya turned and saw the two Society Agents say their last words that gave this fanfic its title.

"DON'T MESS WITH NUKES!" Doug didn't have the powers that Ben had, so he had to push a detonator button.

"Ok, Ben. Now…" Doug stopped when he found that Ben was already on the run.

"Dang! I need his speed to get me outta here!" thought Doug before finding a refrigerator.


A giant mushroom cloud rose to the stratosphere as the two thermonuclear warheads obliterated the map. Ben was at the outskirts of the map; well away from the epicentre, panting heavily from the run he just had. A helicopter flew past and landed before him. Tash and Adrian came out.

"Ben," stated Adrian disappointingly, rubbing his temples. "So that was your plan? To nuke the fandom?"

"It was Doug's idea," retorted Ben.

"Then where is he?" demanded Adrian. Ben looked around and sweat dropped.

"Er… oops," mumbled Ben.

"What 'oops'?" demanded Tash.

"I… um…. was supposed to… carry him out of there…" Ben was digging his foot into the ground, his hands behind his back and head down.

"YOU WHAT?" yelled Adrian. Tash's facial expression showed sadness and shock.

"We lost him… after three fandoms…" said Tash softly, looking at the mushroom cloud. Then a refrigerator fell from the sky and landed next to Adrian, shocking the three Society Agents. The refrigerator door opened, and Doug walked out while making a comment.

"Indiana Jones was right! You can survive a nuclear explosion by hiding in a lead-lined refrigerator!" exclaimed Doug. The three was happy to see him.

"Doug, you're alive!" exclaimed Tash, rushing out to give a hug. Doug dodged and she fell flat on the ground.

"I'm still hot, radioactive hot. So don't touch me," said Doug and the other Agents laughed. Adrian approached Doug and spoke.

"So two thermonuclear warheads are supposed to kill her?" asked Adrian.

"No. It was for her to fall into a trap. When she opened a plot hole to escape, my author managed to reroute the plot hole to trap her in the Command and Conquer fandom, where she will be dealt," explained Doug. Adrian grinned.

"Nice plan, but you still nuked an entire fandom. Both of you are now on cleaning duty in the Library for a month," said Adrian before walking back to the helicopter. Both Ben and Doug sulked, knowing that cleaning duty is the last thing they wanted, and they both headed to the helicopter. Tash got up and got in the helicopter. The helicopter lifted from the ground and chugged off. Out of curiosity, Ben askd a question to Tash.

"How did they cure you from you hyperactivity?"

"I dunno. They gave me like some injection. Insulin, they say…" The helicopter disappeared into a plot hole.

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