Saturday, February 12, 2011

Insert Exceptionally Dramatic Clow Card Here

A cheek was peeled slowly off the paperwork scattered on the desk, and an irritated scowl appeared as the reason for the woman's rude awakening became clear – one of the communicators was ringing very loudly in her ear.

"This better be a matter of life and death," she growled down the communicator.

"Good morning to you too Tash," Emma said. "We have a bit of a situation."

The co-head of the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society sat bolt upright, stubbing her toe on the leg of the desk as she did. The field reports on her desk scattered to the ground and she bit back the urge to curse.

"A Willowe situation?" she asked hopefully. "Did you find her?"

"Sadly no. We did find someone else… you know her rebellious, sequel-fodder younger sisters?"

"…you are kidding…" Tash muttered, sinking against her chair again.

"I wish I was," Emma said. "The good news is we have a lock on two of them."

"I'll go after one," Tash volunteered. "Which fandoms?"

Anyone outside the room heard a long volley of bad language before Tash stormed out, and hastily placed another call to another two Society members.

"Miriku, Michael, I need your help."


Meanwhile at Tomoeda Elementary School, a twelve year old girl seated herself next to Sakura Kinomoto. The pre-teen girl gave her a warm smile.

"You did well on that test Juniper-chan," she congratulated. Juniper Skye Broadband Topaz Veronica Esme Foxblade just smiled back, trying to look modest, a pretty blush staining her perfectly high cheekbones.

"Thank you Sakura-chan," she said, taking her chopsticks and starting on her lunch. "Have you seen Tomoya-chan? I wanted to go over outfits with her."

Sakura thought for a second before smiling again, this time mischievously. "I think she is with Eriol-kun…I'm pretty sure she likes him."

"The same way you like Syaoran-kun?" Juniper asked innocently. A cherry coloured blush spread all over Sakura's cheeks, but she nodded nonetheless.

"Y-yeah…" she went back to her food. Juniper let out a melodious laugh, and thumbed through her book while she ate, pausing at the front cover. A photograph of a beautiful young woman was taped to the front. Juniper fingered her shoulder length auburn hair, the same shade as the figure in the photograph.

"Who's she?" Both girls jumped (Juniper rather gracefully, Sakura squeaking in surprise) as Syaoran leaned over Juniper's shoulder to see the photograph. Truthfully, the young boy was rather taken by the striking woman in the picture, for she was incredibly beautiful.

"That's my sister," Juniper explained, her voice turning sad. Sakura shifted closer, her eyes sympathetic.

"What's her name?" she asked.

"Her name is Willowe," Juniper said. "People say I'm a lot like her… but she's much more amazing than me."

"Not possible," Syaoran said without thinking. Sakura gave him a slightly hurt look, and Juniper continued.

"She left me and my sisters to fend for ourselves… she said she was going to try and find a better life for us… I think she wanted to try and find our brother too. He went missing after our parents died."

Her sapphire coloured eyes were filled with tears that did not fall.

"We're sorry," Syaoran said, in a rare show of sympathy for someone who was not Sakura. Juniper smiled and pulled out another photograph, this one with more (amazingly beautiful) people in it.

"These are all my other sisters," she explained. "This was taken after Willowe left. There's me, Holly, the twins – Ashley and Aspen – and Palm Tree."

"…Palm Tree?" Syaoran asked, sure he had heard wrong. Juniper frowned, working her Sueish magic.

"Yes, my parents wanted a name that was exotic…is there a problem?"

Syaoran immediately felt guilty for sounding disbelieving. He did not know, that his guilt was actually a result of the spell Juniper's presence cast over everyone.

"Have you heard from her?" Sakura asked. "Willowe I mean?" Juniper shook her head.

"No. Alastor – my brother has though. They've been in contact recently. She's still searching for a home for us all. We can be a family again."

"So you found your brother?" Syaoran confirmed, wondering idly if this Alastor was half as intimidating as Sakura's brother Toya…and then he wondered why he cared so much.

"Yes," Juniper nodded. "He looks after me now."


"I still don't get why you dragged me out here," Michael complained, securing his Shakespearian Mask to his face. All three of them were waiting outside the school, debating on the best way to get in – through the front door was sounding like the most appealing option so far.

"Because I'm not thick enough to take Willowe's sister out on my own?" Tash said in a dry voice tugging her hat further down her forehead. "And besides, everyone else was busy except you two."

"I was busy," Michael retorted. "I was tracking down Alastor. I'm a Gary-Stu hunter, not a Mary-Sue hunter."

"Well consider it a day of trying new things Aniki," Miriku smiled, producing a squished box from her bag. "Cookie?"

"Where did you get those?" Michael asked, taking one.

"From under Tashy's desk," Miriku admitted.

"Where did you get cookies from?" Michael turned to Tash, who snatched the box away.

"I nicked them from Adrian's library," Tash said, before adding petulantly. "Don't steal my cookies!"

"They're not your cookies though Tashy," Miriku pointed out with a mischievous grin, while Tash gawped like an idiot, unable to think of a reasonable retort. Michael however, suddenly growled and dropped the remainder of his cookie.

"You're kidding," he muttered, ripping his sword from where it was sheathed. "Stay on our little Mary-Sue you two."

"Where are you going Aniki?" Miriku asked.

"To gut a Stu…" was the not-so-elaborate response.


Juniper was frowning to herself, as she stood in the corridor, her forehead creased in an artistic manner. She was annoyed that she had not yet managed to work her way into Syaoran or Eriol's hearts yet. As a Mary-Sue, she should have won them over. They both accepted her as a friend, but none of them had made any romantic suggestions yet. Juniper guessed that it was because she was only twelve and her Sue powers had not fully developed yet. She would just have to be patient.

She knew she had to be careful though. Alastor had warned her of a notorious group of people wanting to hunt their family and other people like them down. The infamous Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society. They were not as brilliant as Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus and certainly not as powerful, but they had their own powers – author powers.

Speaking of the Society, she had a funny feeling that she was being watched, and she whipped around and ducked out of the way, as a body came charging at her, and collided into the wall with a resounding crack instead.


"Tashy! You're in a school! Mind your language!"

"You charge face first into a wall, and we'll see how much swearing you're doing!" the young woman wailed, clutching her nose which looked broken from the amount of blood she was shedding.

"The Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society I presume?" Juniper summarised.

"That's us!" Miriku proclaimed proudly, throwing off her trenchcoat to reveal her Society T-shirt. "You're under arrest!"

"On what charges?" Juniper demanded, moving as close as she could to the corridor window.

"Mutilating this fandom," Miriku stated. "Now come quietly and no one gets hurt…"

"You wish!" Juniper said, and with a tremendous explosion, the wall of the school crumbled behind her and she jumped through the hole, and hovered in midair. As the dust began to settle, the fire bell in the school suddenly went off and the sprinklers activated.

"Miri," Tash coughed (not pleasant when your nose is broken too). "You okay?"

"Just a slight loss of dignity," Miriku sat up rubbing her head, and looking out at Juniper. "How is she doing that?"

Juniper smiled prettily, an ominous glow coming from between her hands, which hovered by her chest. In the centre of this was what looked like a card, shining with a golden light.

"A Clow Card?" Tash spluttered. "How is that possible?...wait, she's a Mary-Sue, of course it's possible!"

"Now what do we do?" Miriku asked, getting to her feet.

"Nothing!" Juniper boasted. "I have this fandom in my grasp thanks to the Reality Card – everything falls under my control!"


"You found me then?" Alastor Everworthy Percival Francisco Kiang the Eighth asked, lifting an eyebrow as Michael stepped out from behind a tree.

"Willowe's sister was here," Michael shrugged, removing his mask. "You're her brother…I should have realised it ages ago."

"And yet it took me showing myself to you in order for that to happen," Alastor smirked, pulling out a small circular disk on the end of a string. It glowed and a sword appeared in its place (like Syaoran's did). Michael braced himself for a fight…just as the corridor above their heads blew sky high, and Juniper Foxblade was suddenly seen hovering amongst the wreckage.

"Shit…" Michael swore.

"Ah…I see little sister has met your comrades," Alastor smirked. "Now tell me, will you fight me, or risk losing your friends?"

Michael gave him a filthy glare before turning and racing towards the wreckage. Alastor shook his head.

"So predictable," he muttered before looking up at the sky. "Now let's see what Juniper is up to."


"Juniper-chan!" Sakura raced through the wreckage, her sealing staff in one hand, Kero at her heels. Syaoran was following closely, his own sword at the ready. They had heard the explosion and come running towards the danger (as all protagonists do). What they did not expect to see was Juniper hovering above the hole in the corridor, and two strange women lying in amongst the rubble.

"Sakura-chan," Juniper smiled. "These two were trying to take my Clow Card from me, so I had to use it to protect myself."

"You blew a hole in the wall!" Miriku shouted incredulously. "How is that protecting yourself?"

Sakura and Syaoran ignored the strange girl and focused instead on their friend. Kero's eyes were focused on the Clow Card instead.

"You need to be careful!" Sakura shouted, fingering her own Sakura Cards should the need to use them arrive. "That card could destroy everything!"

"I know!" Juniper shouted back. "But if I have to use it to stop these two from hurting other people that I care about in this school then I will!"

"Oh for the love of the Gods…" Tash muttered, though it came out strangely due to her broken nose. She fumbled with one hand in her pocket and pulled out a strange looking device. "So glad I'm writing a fanfic…"

"A plot device?" Juniper gasped.

"Yup!" Tash smirked, and Miriku's grin suddenly became unholy.

"Bye bye pretty girl!" she hissed.

"Sakura!" Juniper shouted. "Do something! Please!"

Sakura reacted without thinking, worried for the safety of her friend over what appeared to be a danger. She pulled the top card out and cast it – it was the Windy Card, and hurricane like winds sprung up around the school, causing all the dust and concrete to take flight again. Juniper, who couldn't stay in the air thanks to the winds, settled back down onto the ruined floor. The plot device blew out of Tash's hand.

"No!" Tash yelled in frustration, but there was nothing she could do, as a chunk of concrete slammed into her head from the gale force winds and knocked her out.

"Tashy!" Miriku's voice was drowned out by the gale, and immediately her eyes turned golden yellow as she began to crawl towards the discarded plot device.

"You can't hurt me!" Juniper taunted.

"Yes I can!" Miriku snapped and quickly activated the plot device, causing the fabric of reality to start warping. Juniper gave a scream of fear, and Sakura and Syaoran raced closer towards the utterly bizarre scene, their hair and clothes whipped around by the raging winds.

For a second, nothing moved…

And then three more figures appeared out of the dust, standing next to Juniper with smiles on their very similar looking faces.

Miriku's eyes went wide in horror.


In attempting to get rid of the Mary-Sue, she had inadvertently made the situation worse…three times worse.

"Juniper?" the smallest newcomer asked curiously. Juniper smiled, her wide eyes filling with tears of disbelief and joy.

"My sisters!"

At this point, Alastor clambered up the side of the ruined school building and stood beside his, almost completely reunited family, looking strong and indecently masculine as he observed his hugging, tearful sisters.

"Well…" he shrugged. "I suppose I'll finish you both."

He never got the chance though. Beneath the feet of the reunited family, a black hole suddenly appeared. The girls screamed, and Alastor gave an angry yell as all of them vanished through the mysterious gap in the fandom. The Windy Card vanished and the world suddenly settled back to normal.

"What was that?" Miriku asked, completely stunned by the bizarre and random turn of events. She grinned as she saw a familiar face clambering up the side of the building. "Michael!"

"Heh. Couldn't let you get killed," Michael shrugged, allowing the small girl to glomp him. "Though climbing up with one hand and summoning that plot hole at the same time was not easy," he admitted. "Especially in that wind."

"It still worked," Miriku nodded. "Guess we failed this mission…and now all of Willowe's sisters are here…except one. I don't know if you noticed but…"

"Holly was missing," Michael nodded. "Tash said there was another of Willowe's sisters running around another fandom – the one Emma is dealing with right now."

"Let's hope they have more luck," Miriku muttered, looking down at their friend. "Speaking of Tash, who's lugging the unconscious body back to HQ?"


Juniper gathered Ashley, Aspen and Palm Tree into her arms. Alastor had been torn from them somewhere in the plot hole and she had not seen where he had gone. Now they had been dumped in another fandom and they were all alone again. She sniffed. Would nothing in her life go right?

"June?" Palm Tree, who was eight years old and the youngest, tugged on her uniform sleeve. "Where is Willowe? And Holly? Did you not find them?"

"And who was that boy?" Ashley demanded. Her twin, Aspen, clung to her arm, fluttering her eyelashes cutely as she tried to blink back tears.

"That was Alastor. Our brother," Juniper elaborated. "And I don't know where Willowe and Holly are…but we'll find them! I promise you!"


"We lost the Sue," Miriku grumbled, munching on the last cookie in the box.

"I lost the Stu," Michael growled, sitting beside a pile of library books.

"I lost my hat!" Tash whined, slapping an ice pack over her forehead.

"Given the circumstances," Harriet said, shaking her head. "Let's just be glad you didn't lose your lives…"

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