Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Insert Quartet Hero Team Here

Joe raised from his chair, he had been reading in his room for most of the morning, and now he thought it was time for some training in the gym. He picked up some sports clothing and put it in a bag, before he went our the door.

He entered the gym, dressed in a pair of black shorts, and a black T-shirt, with a red dragon on the front, he also had cloth bandages around his hands and feet. He went over to one of the punching bags, and started doing various kick and punch combinations on it.

He was only about 10 minutes into his training, when the doors opened, and Tash walked in. She walked over to Joe and asked "Joe, do you have a moment?"

"Yeah, sure." Joe said and gave the bag one last kick, before he turned around, to look at Tash "What is it?"

"We have a mission for you, there's a Sue on the lose in the Fantastic Four fandom." Tash said.

"Great, I'll go as soon as I've taken a bath." Joe said and walked of to the dressing rooms. After taking a quick shower, he then headed back to his room and picked up his society gadgets and biosuit "Okay Sue, get ready for Joe, 'cause I'm coming for you." He said, before he opened a plothole and jumped through.


The plothole opened in one of New Yorks many back alleys, and Joe was thrown into a pile of trash, when he exited. He quickly jumped out of the trash, and brushed off his clothes, that's when he noticed that he wasn't wearing his black suit anymore. Instead, he was wearing a black jacket, a black shirt and jeans, and a pair of red snickers "Hmm, not bad." Joe said to himself, before he walked out of the ally, and started walking down the sidewalk.

He hadn't walked far, before he saw what looked like a parade. He went over to one of the people, who was looking at the display, tapped him on the shoulder and asked "What's happening here?".

"Haven't you heard, the Fantastic Five has defeated Galactus." The man said.

"No, I just flew in today, and I haven't read the news since I got here."

"Well, too bad." The man said and turned to look at the parade.

"Five." Joe said himself as he walked away from the parade, and into an ally "Let's see who the fifth member is." He said, and pressed the green button on the biosuit containment unit. After the suit had formed around him, he retracted the claws into the suit, and started crawling up the side of the building, Spiderman style, the suit clinging to the wall like a suction cup.

He quickly reached the roof, and went to look down on the street and the parade. What he saw was the Fantastic Four and a young woman dressed in a purple suit, with neon 'veins' placed all over it, and it of cause looked gorgeous on her. She had ruby red hair, and golden yellow eyes, and of cause the typical 'Sue killer body' "So, that's the Sue." Joe said to himself. The young woman lifted her hands, and a shower of sparkles shot out of her hands "And of cause she has some sort of flashy power."

Just then, he heard a gasp from behind him. He turned and saw a man starring at him, with a frightened expression on his face.

After a few moments of silence, Joe finally decided to speak "What. Never seen a bio enhancement suit before?" The man gave an other gasp, before he ran back downstairs, screaming "Better get out of here, before he calls the Fantastic Fools to defeat me." Joe said to himself, and jumped back down into the alley, where he detransformed, and got away as quickly as he could.

Joe was sitting on the roof of one of the buildings, surrounding the plaza, where the parade would end. He had made the decision to try and get a prohibitor on the Sue, when she received the prize for saving the earth

"I hope this works." Joe said and exhaled deeply. He activated the suit, and let it fill in the gabs between the claws. Joe then waited for ceremony to start, and as soon as it did, he ran towards the edge of the building, and jumped.

He spread his fingers, and thereby the membrane between the claws, and thus making him float through the air. He positioned himself, so he was sure to hit the Sue and started diving towards her. When he was close enough, he withdrew the claws into the suit, and made them come back out as 2 shields. He roared as he slammed into the Sue, and sent her backstage through the red curtains "Exit, stage right." Joe said and converted his 'shields' back into claws, before he ran after the Sue.

The Sue was dusting herself off, as Joe entered through the curtains. She gave him a dirty look and growled perfectly "How dare you attack me, Devlina Maria Contesta Fugelrue the 66th, who are you.".

"I'll tell you who I am." Joe said and pulled his badge from his pouch, before he continued "I'm Agent Joe from the anti-cliché and Mary-Sue elimination society. And you are arrest, for twisting a fandom, to make its canon characters look like less than what they are."

"I gave this world what it wanted, a hero who was strong enough to take care of it. And then you come here and ruin their happiness."

"Yeah, yeah, the usual garbage. Now, are you going to come quietly, or do I have to beat you up to get you into a cell?" Joe said, and held up his claws in a threatening manner.

"You will never beat me, for I am, the mistress of light!" Devlina yelled, her voice echoing. She lifted her arms, and 2 whips of light erupted from the palms of her hands. She lashed out for Joe several times, and though he managed to get out of harms way, he still took a few hits. Devlina drew the energy back into body, and send a beam of her divine light at Joe. He dodged, and the beam hit the podium scaffold instead, but instead of destroying the scaffold, the beam seemed to rip the fabric of time and space, and formed a window. Through the window you could see the Earth, but not the Earth as you would normally see from space. On this Earth, one half was covered in ice, and the other was covered in desert, and patches of rainforest. Just then, the Fantastic Four came through the curtains to join the fight.

Joe held up a hand, and actually managed to stop the 4 superheroes in their tracks. All of them looked at the window for a moment, before it closed back up. Joe looked at Devlina and asked "Was your plan to zap me to another planet?"

"No, I just wanted to blast you into oblivion." Devlina answered as she started to fire blots of her divine light at Joe. The Fantastic Four also joined the fight.

Joe did his best to avoid the heroes, and getting some hits in on Devlina, but he still got hit. In an attempt to get the fight finished, he pulled a prohibitor from his pouch and jumped at her, prohibitor in his left hand, and claws raised on his right. Devlina looked frightened, and fired a blot of energy at Joe. By the help of her suish powers, the bolt actually managed to find its way to the containment unit on Joes right wrist, and added to the mix, he was thrown a little off to the side, so he landed a little behind Devlina "No." Joe exclaimed as looked down on his hand, where the claws was starting to become liquid. He quickly got to his feet and ran away from the scene.

"What was that all about?" Reed Richards asked, as he walked up Devlina.

"Just some punk, who thought he could take me on." Devlina answered.

"Okay, time for plan B." Joe said. He had escaped from the plaza, and hid in a dark alley, until the biosuit had dripped off him, and after that, he went to a small diner for a few hours, where he took time to think about what to do next. He had decided, that since his biosuit had been destroyed, he had to get close to Devlina without having to fight her. He paid his bill and headed out on the streets again.

After some time, he came across a TV store, and he took a minute to see what was on. It was the news, and it was his face, or at least his biosuited face, that was on "Well, at least I won't have to worry about the cops." Joe said to himself, and started to walk again.

He didn't walk very far, before he came across a solution to his problem. It was a delivery service. He went in through the backdoor, where he snatched a uniform, and an empty package, and ran out again. He changed his clothes in a public toilet, and went to the Baxter building "I've got a package for the Fantastic Five." Joe said to the guard at the desk.

"It's the elevator over there." The guard said, and pointed at an elevator, with the hero groups logo on it.
"Thank you." Joe said, before he went over to the elevator and tapped one of the buttons.

The doors was about to close in front of him, when the Thing, aka. Ben Grim came through the doors to the building "Hey, stop the elevator!" Ben yelled. Joe put a foot in the gap between the doors, making them open again "Thanks."

"No problem, it's always nice to help a celebrity, such as yourself." Joe said and pushed the button, that would take them to the top floor.

"Gee thanks, but I'm not the celebrity, Devlina is." Ben said and gave Joe a nervous grin.

"Aw, you're to modest." Joe said, and gave the orange giant a pad on the back, but what he didn't notice, was that Joe also placed a copyright sticker on his back in the process, and you could almost immediately see the change in the giants face. A 'ding' was heard, and the doors slid open, so the 2 could enter the apartment/laboratory "Wow, this is quite a place." Joe commented.

"Yeah, if you don't live here." Ben commented.

Suddenly, a loud clanking of metal could be heard from the labs. Ben and Joe ran into the lab to find Devlina, shoving technical parts through a plothole. She heard the 2 coming, and turned around and said "Oh hi Ben, why are home so…" She didn't get to finish the sentence, before Ben hit her so hard, that she was propelled through the plothole, which closed behind her.

"Okay, I guess I won't have to worry about her then." Joe said, as he went over to the few components, that Devlina had left behind "I wonder what this was for." He said to himself.

"Excuse me, but what just happened here?" Ben asked in a frustrating tone.

"You won't have to worry about that much longer, Ben. 'Cause I'm gonna make you forget it" Joe said, as he pulled a prohibitor from the pouch on his back, together with his plothole generator "I gotta go now." Joe said, as he opened a plothole, and then pressed a button on the prohibitor, making it flash, and thus returning the fandom to normal. He then jumped through the plothole, returning to the library.

"So, the Sue was some stealing technology from the fandom?" Tash asked, as she looked up from Joes mission report.

"Yes, but I don't know what purpose it had." Joe said.

A few moments went by, with Tash reading the rest of the report, before she finally said "Well, there's not much we can do about it now, and you did get the fandom back to normal, so I suggest you go back to your room and get some rest.".

"Yeah, I think I will." Joe said and left the office.

Meanwhile, on a small piece of land, that floated through the void between the dimensions, Devlina was standing together with Beautirix, Anuhs Weedy and another Stu with shining, white hair and piercing, yet gentle, ice blue eyes. He was dressed in a black suit, with a ruby red shirt and a black tie, which looked extremely good on him "So, did you get what we needed?" The man asked.

"Not all we needed, that stupid agent made the Thing punch me through the plothole, before I got the parts for the battery pack." Devlina said, kicking a bit of dust off the ground.

"Fortunately, I have an emergency plan, if this one didn't go right after the plan." The suit said.

"As long as we get our reward, Kazuna, we do what you say." Anuhs said.

"Don't worry, you will. Now, I have to work." Kazuna said. He held out his hand, and the tech parts started floating, and started merging together.

Back in his room, Joe was sitting on his bed, making plans for what to do, now that his biosuit was out of commission "Maybe a little surfing on the net would clear my mind." He said to himself, when he finally realized he couldn't come up with anything. He turned on his computer, and started surfing. After surfing for a few minutes, he came some fan fictions, with some very detailed training sessions in them "Maybe that's the way to go." He said to himself, and started looking for more of those fictions, in the fandoms that he liked.

After a few hours of surfing and printing, Joe was finally satisfied with the amount of fictions he had found. He opened the writing program on the computer, and started writing a letter. He printed the letter out, turned off the computer, and put the letter in an envelope, which he placed on the keyboard, so it leaned against the screen.

He quickly packed some clothes, the fictions he had printed, some snacks and a his prohibitors, in case he ran into a Sue or Stu. He finally grabbed his plothole generator, and he was ready to go. He placed the fiction, he had copied the biosuit from, on the floor, and zapped it with the generator, and a plothole was created above the fiction "See you around, everyone." Joe said and jumped through the plothole to begin his training.


"Come on Joe, you said you wanted to play this game me." Pete said, as he banged the door to Joes room. He held up 2 big plastic bags and said "Come on, open up, I got enough snacks and cookies to send us to the hospital." He stopped his banging for a moment, and listened at the door. When he didn't hear anything, he said "Okay, if you're not coming out, I'm coming in." He was surprised when he turned the knob, to find the door unlocked 'When Joe wants to be left alone, he usually locks the door' Pete thought as he pushed the door open to find the room empty "What on earth." Pete said to himself, before he started looking for some sort of clue, as to where Joe had gone to. The first thing he found was the envelope on the keyboard, the other was the Spiderman fiction, Joe had copied his powers from. Pete opened the envelope, and skimmed the letter inside, his eyes becoming wider and wider as he read it "Tash better see this." Pete said and hurried out of the room to find the leader of the society.

"Tash, Tash!" Pete yelled, as he entered the Sue observation room.

"What is it Pete?" Tash asked.

Taking deep breaths, Pete looked at Tash and said "Joe is…  is gone.".


"He's gone, look at this." Pete said, and handed the letter to Tash, who started reading it out loud.

"Dear society. I have decided to leave you for a while, to become stronger, and regain my original power, and maybe gain some new ones, don't worry, I'll be careful to not turn into a Stu. Bye, Joe." Tash looked the letter over once more, before she looked at Pete and asked "Do you have any idea, where he's gone to?"

"I think so." Pete said, and held up the Spiderman fan fiction "I found this on the floor in his room."

Tash rubbed her nose a bit, before she finally said "Well, it's his choice, and I guess we should accept that."

She handed the paper back to Pete, who nodded, and started to walk back to his room. When he passed through the library, he looked down on one of the plastic bags, he was holding, before he yelled out into the library "Free candy for anyone who grabs the bag." He then threw the bag into the air, and ran for a secure location, aka under a table, and watched as all the sugar addictive agents, jumped the bag, and ripped it apart, like a pack of zombies, while he laughed like crazy.

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