Sunday, May 1, 2011

Insert Abnormally Pretentious Greekesque Name Here

Tyler was playing Tic-tac-toe with himself and losing over and over again. Suddenly, to break the monotony, his cell phone started ringing. He picked it up.

"Hello…yes…Gary Stu…PHANTOM! I'm on my way!" Tyler paused to grab a pouch of various useful items, then ran to the Library.


The Bartimaus World. The world where specially trained people, entitled magicians, summoned demons from another dimension to work as their servants. Where everyone had a birth name that held great power over them. Where the magicians were the ruling class. Where citizens who did not have power were treated as lesser beings. Where Britain was the strongest country in the world. That was what made up the Bartimaus fandom. Until Phantom. Just three days ago, Phantom, the strongest demon in the universe, thanks to him being half-human, which granted him unbelievable mental ability, and by extension, great magical ability, arrived in the fandom. In a single day, he had tipped the three-way balance of power between the magicians, the demons, and the commoners, leaving all three factions equal. The next day, on his own, he ventured to America and defeated the entire rebel army, leaving Britain still in control. The third day, he singlehandedly soothed each and every commoner insurgent in Britain using a single speech. By this time, the fandom had been grotesquely mutilated. That's where the Society stepped in, and where this story begins…

Tyler raced through the streets of London, ignoring the people who called after him to slow down. He knew who they were. Night Police, the werewolf corps that kept the city in line. Tyler wasn't sure if he could fight them, but they would be useful against Phantom. Assuming the Stu hadn't already enthralled them, of course. Which he probably had.

Tyler continued his search for Phantom. The Gary Stu had already escaped him before, but Tyler wasn't going to let that happen, not this time. He continued his speed search of London.

Phantom was giving a speech to a group of fawning magicians when he sensed a presence.

"Oh, come on, the Society? I already beat that stupid rookie they sent after me, won't they learn?"

Tyler looked around and saw Phantom up at the podium. He quickly figured out a plan.

He lay down on the ground and pretended to be hurt.

"Oh help! Help! Won't somebody please help me!" Phantom flew over.

"I'll help you, sir… wait a minute, you? Oh no way am I falling for that again!" Phantom took several steps back.

"Figured you wouldn't," said Tyler, rolling to his feet. "I also figured you'd fall for this."

Tyler took a large hand mirror out of his pouch and held it in front of Phantom's face. Phantom looked at himself and instantly fell in love. He made no attempt to resist as Tyler clamped a Prohibitor on his wrist, nullifying all his previous actions and Stu-pendous abilities. However, there was one thing Tyler forgot. The minute the Prohibitor activated, Phantom's infatuation with his own appearance vanished. He began to struggle, managing to kick Tyler in the stomach and wriggle free. He than began to shapeshift, like any self-respecting demon would in such a situation.

"What?" Tyler stepped back. "Why didn't the Prohibitor work?"

"Well," growled Phantom, now in the form of a gigantic lizard man. "Being a halfbreed may be unusual for this fandom, but being a powerful demon isn't."

"Oops." Tyler did the one sensible thing you could do in his position. He ran for his life.

Phantom followed close behind, roaring angrily. Tyler quickly ducked into a side alley.

Phantom turned and spat an Inferno into the alley. Tyler jumped up onto a fire escape, then onto a building roof. Phantom followed in the form of a smaller lizard man with powerful wings. Tyler jumped onto Phantom, then kicked off his chest, toppling the Stu.

Phantom transformed into a chimera and spat Infernos and Detonations. Tyler threw two rocks at the beast, clogging its mouths just as they let loose with an Inferno-Detonation combo. The backlash blew Phantom into bits of slime, but he reformed as a dragon-headed snake with arms and wings. Tyler dodged Phantom's Detonations and got in close, then reached into his pouch.

"What's that, another mirror?" Phantom jeered.

"Nope," replied Tyler, pulling out a ping-pong paddle and whacking Phantom over the head with it.

"Now, you, Phantom, are under arrest for being a Gary Stu and…" Phantom stirred.

"You're not unconscious are you?"


"Uh-oh." Phantom launched himself forward, bowling over Tyler and flying into the sky.

"You aren't getting away!" Tyler took out a rope and hurled it at Phantom. The Stu softened his essence to escape. Just as his essence turned to Jell-o, Tyler launched a rock into it. Phantom screamed with pain and dropped to the ground, splattering. Tyler ran forwards and bottled the essence. He was about to head back to base when he realized the jar was empty. He spun and, of course, there was Phantom.

"Sorry, I don't think you'll catch me that easily. I can phase through anything thin enough… say… that bottle. See ya." Phantom disappeared.

"Not a chance. You are so not escaping." Tyler saw the Prohibitor hanging in mid-air.

"There you are." Tyler leapt forward and grabbed hold of Phantom until the Stu reliquified. Then he picked up his bottle and shoved in the Jell-o like Phantom, keeping his hands cupped around the bottle.


"So, you caught Phantom?" asked Marcus.

"Yeah, but I don't think he'll be captive for very long. There's a reason he's called Phantom. He can phase through things."

"You said he said he can only phase through thin surfaces," remarked Michael, a tall, round faced boy with a sword.

"I think he meant when he has his Prohibitor on."

"Either way, we have him for now. Probably one of the leaders will figure out a way to hold him."

"I guess." Tyler wasn't convinced.

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