Saturday, December 31, 2011

Insert Cliched Halloween Clipshow Here (part 2 of 5)

"I would!"

"Oh please! You'd have no chance!"

Emily appeared out of nowhere next to the three agents. Ossa appeared to be dressed as L from Death Note, and she was glaring fiercely at Jamie, whom Emily could only recognise by voice, due to the fact he was hidden beneath a Darth Vader costume. The argument seemed to be getting more and more heated, as Ossa tensed to spring, and Jamie pulled out a plastic lightsaber.

"What are they arguing about?" she sidled up to Aimee, who was trying to eat around her vampire fangs. The girl's red (contact lensed) eyes turned onto her with a smile.

"They're arguing over who would win in a fight between Vader and L," Aimee explained, chewing slowly on a cookie.

Emily, who had never read Death Note, but knew that it was a manga that Aster favoured, hurried off to find the fae, thinking that she could be useful in settling this dispute. She found her in the corner, where the massive DDR machine loomed over everyone, and occasionally made it difficult for anyone close to hear themselves think. Aster was humming to herself as she watched Chrys try to dance (try being the operative word, for the hanyou's clumsiness was becoming infamous among the Library).

"Aster," Emily stood beside the fae, who slowly turned her head towards her.


"Who would win in a fight between L and Darth Vader?" Emily inquired. Aster thought for all of a second before her face split into a grin.

"L, of course!"

Emily smiled and handed her a box of pocky that she had pinched from Adrian's booby traps the night before. "Thank you."

And she scurried off.

Aster blinked a few times at the place she had been standing, before slipping a stick of pocky into her mouth. "Kyaa~ And she calls me strange..."


"Shh! She'll hear us!"

Emily rolled her eyes. "She hasn't moved from that spot for fifteen hours – not even to eat! This has to be a new record!"

"I don't think so," Adrian shook his head, checking his watch as he did. "Her record for sitting in one spot with a stack of manga and not moving is seventeen hours and fifty two minutes. I counted."

Several Society agents' jaws dropped. As stated, there was Aster, sitting in what appeared to be some kind of manga fort, with nothing but a glass of juice in front of her, and a half eaten apple, which seemed to have been forgotten about, and was slowly going yellow as it oxidized. Her eyes were fixed on the page, and scanning quickly, right to left, without stopping.

Giggling, Emily scrunched up a ball of paper from her exercise book (she had just come from an English lesson with Harriet) and threw it at the fae. It bounced off her head, but she did not look up or even acknowledge that she had been hit. Emily resisted the urge to burst out laughing.

"I want a go!" Tash stated, pulling her notebook out of her bag and screwing up another page. It bounced off Aster's chest and landed on the manga. Aster absently flicked the paper off like a crumb of food and carried on reading.

"Ten points if it gets stuck in her head," Emily stated.

"Twenty if it lands on the manga," Tash added.

"Fifty if it gets stuck in her cleavage!" Claire giggled, scrunching up another bit of paper and throwing it hard.


"Out! Out! Out!"

There were a series of loud jingling noises from the coins as Tash attempted to shake Adrian out of her shirt. The kitty Librarian was proving to be remarkably difficult to remove however, and so the leader's attempts only succeeded in making her look like a complete idiot. Several agents had stopped to watch in amusement, including Stacey, who was taking photographs to her heart's content.

"Adrian," Tash whined. "Come out! You're tickling in all the wrong places- OW!" she gave a shriek suddenly. "Watch the claws!"

Had anyone been able to see through the shirt, they would have seen Adrian smirking at this.

"Tashy... talking to your boobs won't make them grow," Harriet informed her friend. Tash noted the cider can clutched in the leader's hand, and she foretold that drunken singing was in the Society's near future.

"I'm not talking to them," Tash corrected. "I'm talking to Adrian. He's gone down my shirt." She blinked at her friend. "You changed your outfit?"

Harriet nodded and looked down at the cricket whites that she was now dressed in. She carried her trusty cricket bat over one shoulder. "Jess said the other outfit was impractical."

" you went from an outfit that could concuss people, to an outfit that is going to be a bitch to keep clean...yeah I totally see the practicali-Adrian!" she gave a yelp of surprise, which suddenly dissolved into a shiver and a soft moan. "No... not in public..."

Harriet's eyes went wide as Tash's cheeks turned a magnificent shade of pink.

"Right enough of this!"

The leader placed her cider carefully on the nearest table, and thrust her hands under her friend's shirt. The coins rattled at the movement, and the hiss of an angry cat came from within.

"Harriet!" Tash shrieked, her face going pinker as she struggled to stop the brunette from lifting her shirt right up over her head. Quite a few people had stopped to watch the show by this point, several agents with their jaws somewhere about their knees. Stacey had gleefully switched her camera to video mode and was filming the whole event.

"Oh please!" Harriet scoffed. "It's nothing we haven't done before. Now hold still!"

"Can you hold that pose a second, you two?" Stacey asked, crouching down to get a close up shot. "Beautiful!"

"Wow... I've never seen a person go that red before," Drake stated, stealing a cocktail sausage off the platter that Tyler was holding. The smallest agent had already inhaled a platter of sausage rolls, and scotch eggs by himself, and was making short work of the third tray.

There was some rummaging around, in which Tash gave off very loud squeaks, but eventually Harriet's hand reappeared, holding a squirming Adrian by the scruff of the neck. The kitten meowed in protest, before morphing back into the costume wearing Librarian (complete with violet collar). He looked very put out, though whether this was because he had been forcibly removed from his hiding spot, or whether he was unhappy with Harriet for molesting his girlfriend, no one could tell.

"I was comfortable under there," he protested. Tash folded her arms across her chest, as though the simple action would prevent any more molestation from her fellow agents.

"I could tell. You have a dirty mind, you know... and your claws need trimming!"

The Librarian pouted hard. Drake and Stacey however were snickering at him.

"Dude... what happened?" Drake asked, gesturing to the costume. Adrian opened his mouth to make a snappy retort, but was stopped by a loud gagging sound, and a crash as the platter of cocktail sausages fell to the floor.

"Tyler?" Stacey was feeling waves of panic flooding off the smaller agent, who was doubled over and clutching his throat. He was choking hard, and as the other agents gathered around, he seized Tash's arm to keep himself upright.

"I think he's choking!" Tash fretted, pulling him around and lowering his jaw. "He swallowed the cocktail stick!"

"Stacey, go get Valerie," Harriet's voice was strong and firm. "Tyler, try and cough for me. We're going to help you."

How she could remain calm in this situation was anyone's guess, but Stacey did as she was told, and Tyler's coughs became harder and more forceful. It was not enough though, and Harriet cursed loudly, before placing one arm firmly around his stomach, and using the other to whack him hard between the shoulder blades. Tyler's eyes began to water in pain and distress, but he continued trying to cough.

"I'm here!" the Society healer had felt Tyler's distress the instant it had started, and had already been racing across the room when Stacey had caught up to her. "What's he choking on?"

"Cocktail sausage," Adrian informed her. He was standing to one side, trying to calm down Drake, who was looking very upset to see his friend in such distress. Valerie frowned, before the pieces fell into place.

"The stick was still attached, wasn't it?"

"How did you guess?" Adrian asked. Harriet, who had given up on back slaps, and had begun abdominal thrusts, interrupted.

"Its Tyler," she stated, in between thrusts. "It's the sort of thing he'd do."

She smacked him three times more on the back before wrapping her arms below his rib and pulling upwards again. With a spluttering cough, the offending sausage and stick were spat out onto the floor, and Tyler began to pull in deep, desperate breaths.

"Put him here," Valerie instructed, shooing Pete and Charis off the sofa, and letting Harriet steer the pale looking agent down into the seat. She immediately set about checking there was no damage to his throat and treating him for shock.

"Move along everyone," Harriet declared, shoving people back with her cricket bat in order to give the healer some room. "Nothing to see here."

"Will he be alright?" Drake asked anxiously.

"He'll be fine," Valerie's voice was calm as she raised Tyler's feet onto the arm of the sofa. "Just needs to lie down for a bit."

"Thank the Gods..." Tash muttered.

"Okay, people, for the record," Adrian raised his voice. "The cocktail sausages have sticks in them. Remove the stick before eating."

"Kyaa~ Its Tyler-kun," Aster remarked from the DDR machine. "He's eaten radioactive material before and been fine."

"Yeah, radioactive material isn't often sharp and pointy though," Chrys pointed out. "And you don't sound too concerned?"

Aster shrugged. "His taste in food is appalling. I still haven't forgiven him for the time he turned my ramen into pasta..."


"...How... do you not know what ramen is?"

Aster's voice of disbelief was audible with piercing clarity to Rhia, as she staggered into the main kitchen wondering what on earth had possessed her to get drunk the previous night. She groaned as the strong lights hit her eyes, and the urge to vomit again rose as the smell of cooking hit her nose. Jess (who also looked mildly hung over) and Aster were standing over the cooker or various work surfaces, with kitchen appliances or food in front of them, while Cristoph and Tyler were seated at the table, watching with interest.

"Because I eat pasta," Tyler stated simply, as Rhia sank into the chair next to her. Aster, in the middle of preparing the chicken in front of her, shook her head in disbelief.

"You don't get any yakitori for that." She dropped what she was doing, and shoved a packet of instant ramen into the hands of the small stationary agent. "Cook that. And I'm not giving you a lid."

Tyler cursed under his breath, and hurried off to his assigned duty, scouring the back of the packaging for cooking instructions.

Jess was humming Nemo under her breath as she worked. "I am improving this soup!" She seemed to feel the horrified gaze of the other kitchen occupants, and added quickly. "I know what I'm doing!" She nodded sagely. "I have learned many important things at university. For example. I love miso soup. I love chilli powder. However, just because I love them both, does not mean that they go well together."

Aster leaned over curiously to survey Jess's creation. Cristoph shook his head in exasperation, and Rhia rested her head gently onto the table, in an attempt to stop the rapid throbbing of her temples. Tyler slunk silently into his seat, eating a strange looking bowl of pasta. Aster recognised it immediately and exploded.

"You turned the ramen into pasta?"

Before Tyler could even defend himself, the fae seized the bowl and dumped the contents onto the floor. That matter settled, she turned sweetly to Rhia. "Here Rhia-chan let me help you. You need a little bit of ponzu."

Tyler stared in disbelief at his wasted pasta before letting out a wail of despair. Rhia retrieved one of her wakizashi from her dressing gown belt, and whacked Tyler over the head with the hilt of it, in order to shut him up.

Jess retreated from her soup temporarily. "I need sushi. And lots of it. Is there any going? I'm useless at making it."

"If I can keep it down, I'll eat it," Rhia stated gratefully to the two cooks, before thinking. "Who got me to my room last night?"

Jess shrugged, not knowing at all for she too had been very drunk the previous evening and did not remember how she herself had got to bed.

"Cristoph did. I was asleep," Tyler stated, staring mournfully at his empty bowl. The ninja smiled and slid a glass of water over to Rhia, who took it gratefully.

"Here," Aster was shoving rice in to be cooked. "It has to be warm...and this has to be really really cold." She took out fish from the refrigerator. "Do you want wasabi?"

Jess broke into a dramatic opera voice. "Wassabiiiii!" She coughed a few times, and went silent as she noticed the glare that Rhia was shooting her. "Oops, sorry Rhia. I guess that doesn't help..."

"I can confirm Lady Rhia," Cristoph said gently. "That I was the one who got you to your bed last night. I was one of the few not hyped up on enough sucrose to turn a cat inside out, so I took you back to your room."

"Cats turn inside out?" Tyler asked in surprise, as Aster let out a cheer and the food finished cooking, and she began dishing it out, instructing everyone to eat it while the hot and the cold were still separate. She swatted at Tyler as he began to eat however.


"No sushi for you, you unrefined Japanese food-hater!"



The most respected chef of the Society, found herself enveloped in a boob-filled hug from one Jessica Leather.

"Will you come live with me when I go back to university? Pleeeeease?" she begged. "I'll pay you very well."

Rhia understood that 'live with' meant 'cook for', but she smiled none the less. "Sorry Jess, but I don't accept payment in metal songs or bondage tips."

Jess twitched. "Awww... well it was worth a try..." she paused and examined the girl in front of her. "You look nice. Who are you?"

Rhia wore a long, blood red dress, and had left her long hair loose down her back. "I'm Nimue from Merlin."

"Oooh right," Jess nodded slowly, before reaching over and handing the younger girl a drink. "Cider?"

Rhia frowned and pointed to the bottle. " brought alcohol to this party?"

Jess nodded. "Well yeah...its a party and most of us are overage..."

Rhia was about to point out that 'overage' was relative, since half of the agents were British and the other half were American, when Jess continued.

"And anyway, I didn't bring alcohol per say. Harriet and I stored it in one of cupboards in your kitchen, under lock and key. We're being careful about who we're giving it to."

"...right, and so far who have you given it to?" Rhia asked.

"Well..." Jess thought, before grinning widely. "Me and Harriet! No one else has wanted it, and there's a lot of it!"

Rhia groaned, as Jess took another swig. "Why are you storing it in my kitchen and not your room?"

Jess shook her head sadly. "Leonard. He goes ballistic if you bring alcohol anywhere near him."


"Let's try this again Leonard," Jess sighed, pointing at herself. "Jess."

The conjoined twin blinked several times, before emitting a rasping noise that sounded like steam being let out of a kettle. Jess groaned.

"This is getting nowhere..." she muttered, picking up her cider bottle and draining the lot. Leonard made an angry hissing noise at the sight of the alcoholic beverage, and launched himself at the bottle and began gnawing on the end. Jess gave a scream and yanked her hand out of the way, just in time to avoid the teeth.

"Holy shit!" she swore loudly, before clapping a hand over her mouth, and shooting Harriet an apologetic look. The Society leader had clapped her hands over Emily's ears to protect them from the language, and the ten year old looked curiously up at her guardian.

"Where's Miri with that pizza?" Harriet demanded impatiently, before looking down. "And how long has my bra been showing?" she added, readjusting her shirt.

Emily apparently could not help herself, and she burst out laughing. Jess was snickering quietly in the corner, as Leonard just glanced up before going back to the bottle.

"For the last forty five minutes," Tash said, checking her watch and groaning. "Damn it Hati! You couldn't have waited another fifteen minutes to notice?"

"Cough up guys!" Jess demanded, smirking and holding out a hand. "Bet is a bet."

Emily laughed harder as Harriet blinked in comprehension. "You were betting on how long it would take me to notice?"

"Gotta earn money for my next concert somehow," Jess grinned, taking the offered ten pound note from Tash. "You too Aster. You said it would take her an hour and a half!"

"Kyaa... I've got no money Jess-chan," the fae shrugged. Jess's jaw fell open.

"Then why did you join the bet if you've got no money?"

"Oh I didn't realise," Aster shrugged. "I was looking for a Death Note volume and I wasn't listening to a lot of what you said."

Jess looked about ready to strangle the fae, but she was distracted by Emily, who had turned to the lone silent member of the room.

"Did you bet, Adrian?"

The Librarian gave her a look that spoke volumes and slumped further into his girlfriend's lap. He was in a bad mood, though no one knew why. Adrian never spoke of his duties as the Librarian to anyone, not even his girlfriend, but everyone assumed something bad must have happened, as not even Tash could get him to snap out of it.

Tash sighed. "Adrian, it's just a laugh. Please don't wilt again. It's depressing..."

She attempted to prop him back upright, but the Librarian merely wilted straight back into her lap.

"Adrian..." Tash groaned, pulling him up again, only to have him wilt in the other direction.

"Someone... get me a plant support!"

Giggling, Jess added the money to her purse and took another swig of her cider, however Leonard was silent this time – he had started chewing one of the cushions (succeeding strongly in resembling a hairless baby chimp with a piece of fruit) and didn't seem that interested in much else.

"Making money off your leader's fashion mishaps..." Harriet was muttering. "I should lock you all in the most dangerous fandom in the world..."

"Pizza is here!" Miriku's voice called from the corridor.

"FINALLY!" and just like that, all Harriet's thoughts of revenge were gone.


"Hey, we didn't request a flashback!" Jess objected to no one in particular. Rhia shrugged.

"It's a clipshow. It's supposed to be full of stupid flashbacks that make no sense..."

Emily, who was passing by, as the two finished this conversation, was struck by something odd, and paused in midstep, one hand clutching a slice of pizza, and the other holding the cricket ball that had just narrowly avoided taking off Ossa's head on the other side of the room.

"...why didn't the fourth wall rumble just now?"


"Ow!" Claire whined. "Human bodies were not supposed to bend this way!"

Struggling and squirming, she managed to place her right foot painfully across onto the other side of her left foot, and keep her balance.


"Okay, here we go," Miriku grinned, spinning the spinner and observing the scene with a large grin on her face. It really was a comical sight. Michael, Claire, Doug, Ben, Willie, Thought Marcus and Emotion Marcus were crouching over two Twister mats, placed end to end, and struggling desperately not to fall over themselves, as they fought to complete Miri's requests. The red-haired Pharaoh was taking great delight in making them all bend in ways that the human body was not supposed to.

"Aniki," Miriku smiled, nudging the spinner a little so that no one could see. "Right hand green."

The sound of a hand being peeled off the plastic mat was the only response to the request.

"...oi," Claire warned her boyfriend with a light reprimanding glare. Michael smiled innocently.

"Sorry baby. I thought that was right hand green."

Miriku sighed. "Any excuse Aniki..."

"Hush Imoto," Michael ordered, placing his hand in the required space. "Done!"

"Thought Marcus..." Miri spun the dial again, and decided she liked the choice it landed on. "Right foot blue."

"I-I-I d-don't t-think t-that w-will b-be p-p-possible..."


"B-B-But i-its..."


Shaking like a leaf, Thought Marcus moved slowly and carefully. Miriku tensed, positive that he was about to fall, but to her disappointment, he succeeded, and she sighed, before spinning the spinner.

"Emotion Marcus... left foot red."



There was something about pizza that had always relaxed Tash into a semi-dazed state, where nothing in the world could bother her. It helped of course, when one had a fluffy, warm kitten sitting on ones chest, purring contently as his ears were petted.

"Mmm... I'll dance for you later Emiushere. You want that?"

Adrian's ears perked up and he looked eagerly up at his girlfriend with a happy smile on his adorable face. Tash gave a giggle and bent down to kiss his nose.

"Hey Tash... is that Adrian?" Ossa skidded to a stop next to the sofa upon which the Chief Agent was reclining, Jamie right behind her, swinging his lightsaber in a mildly threatening manner.

Before Tash could answer the question, the kitten morphed back into her boyfriend, and she let out an undignified squeak as she was pressed firmly into the cushions by his weight. "You did that on purpose!"

"Can't blame a guy," the Librarian shrugged, before kissing her gently and causing all of Tash's discomfort to magically evaporate.

There was a loud clearing of a throat, and both of them broke away blushing.

"Sorry, what were you saying?" Adrian asked.

"I didn't say anything," Ossa stated, a slightly amused look on her face. "I came to ask, who would win in a fight between L and Darth Vader?"

Adrian frowned, looking between the two agents and eventually pointing at the one on the right. "Vader. Definitely."

Ossa growled, as Jamie looked triumphantly up at her with a smirk. Tash interrupted.

"But in a fight between Ossa and Jamie, I'd give the edge to Ossa."

"Hey!" Jamie deflated, and his smirk seemed to slide onto Ossa's face instead. "Why?"

"Dude, she's six foot. I'd think twice about fighting her," Tash told him bluntly. "I'm sorry if that insults your masculinity, but it's the truth."

Pouting, Jamie wandered away to get food, followed by a highly satisfied Ossa.

"You really know how to deflate a guy's ego..." Adrian sighed. Tash petted him on the ears and cuddled him tight.

"Its a gift my love..."

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