"Is it a Sue or a Stu?" Tyler asked.
"No idea. Its first action was to turn into a gigantic mecha-thing and start going on a rampage," Tash responded.
"Guess it's a Villain Sue." Tyler stepped through a Plothole and vanished.
Ooooo
In the Generator Rex fandom….
Tyler walked through the streets of New York City, ignoring the repeated blaring of some megaphone announcing lockdown due to E.V.O. attack. Tyler figured that the Sue or Stu would have to show itself soon, deadly beings mutated into horrible monsters by the nanobots in their blood being rather hard to hide.
And then it did. Something flashed out of an alleyway, bowling Tyler over. The Agent recovered quickly, kicking the assailant off of him. It slammed into a building and slid down, revealing itself as a humanoid figure with four long, sharp, tentacles protruding from its back. It was clad in what looked like thin orange metal, and its face was obscured by an equally orange visor. Obviously it was the Sue or Stu that had invaded the fandom. Tyler rolled to his feet, drawing his staff and dropping into something resembling a fighting stance.
The Sue or Stu (Tyler had decided to think of it as "Fido") sent all four of its tentacles stabbing towards Tyler…
...impaling the ground where he had been a moment ago, as the Agent dashed up one of the tentacles, leaping into the air. Fido pulled one tentacle out of the ground, lashing it up to catch Tyler out of the air, but Tyler grabbed the tentacle and swung to the ground, kicking Fido in the face as he passed. As Tyler hit the ground, he swiped at the E.V.O's feet with his staff, tripping Fido, and kicked him into the building again. As Fido slid to the ground, Tyler relaxed slightly.
"You know, for a Sue or Stu, you're not putting up much of a fight." His only response was a hiss from Fido. "At least you haven't told me to shut up yet."
Fido lunged, and Tyler stepped to one side, grabbing the E.V.O's tentacles with a rope of energy and yanking hard. Fido stumbled backwards, and Tyler blasted it with an energy beam. The Agent tossed a handful of explosives at Fido, and the E.V.O. was blasted backwards into the same building, for the third time. This time, instead of slamming into the building and sliding down, Fido smashed through the wall. This was immediately followed by the entire building collapsing on the E.V.O.
"Huh. Third time's the charm, I guess!" Tyler was about to walk away, when a tentacle shot out of the rubble, grabbed a chunk of rock, and hurled it at him. Tyler dove to one side and pelted the tentacle with energy bursts. A second tentacle ripped its way free to deflect the bolts, then both lashed around Tyler's neck and began to throttle him. The Agent responded by grabbing the tentacles and yanking back. A screech of pain came from the rockpile, and the tentacles went limp. Tyler tossed them to the ground before stomping on one. "Take that, you tentacled piece of-,"
Tyler was cut off by Fido smashing its way out of the rockpile and lashing at Tyler, who dodged the tentacle-strikes, then grabbed the tentacles and yanked again, bringing Fido close enough to punch it in the face with a magic-augmented hand. The Agent and the E.V.O. exchanged blows for a few minutes, before Tyler smacked it across the face with his staff, planted a bomb on its chest, and blasted it backwards. Then Tyler's communicator beeped.
"Tyler, what are you doing?" Tash's voice demanded.
"What do you mean? I was attacked by the Sue or Stu, which I have named Fido, and now I'm fighting it! What do you want from me?"
"Tyler, that's not-," Tash was cut off by the tentacles wrapping around Tyler while he was distracted, yanking him up, and smashing him into the ground. "What was that?"
"Ow… nothing. Gotta go." Tyler rolled aside as the tentacles pounded the ground around him.
"Wait, what? Tyler, don't you dare hang up on-BEEEEP!" Tyler shut off the communicator, ignoring Tash.
"Too late!"
Fido let out a hiss of anger and lunged, slashing at Tyler with its tentacles. The Agent danced around the whirling attacks, peppering Fido with energy bolts. Tyler's communicator beeped again. He ignored it, dodging a second charge and kicking Fido in the back, knocking the E.V.O. down. "What is it this time?"
"First of all, you're on basement duty for the next week for hanging up on me. Second, that's not the Sue or Stu."
"What?" Tyler hurled a handful of grenades at Fido, knocking it over and forming a cloud of dust.
"I just told you, that's not-,"
"No, I mean, I was in a life-or-death situation! I think hanging up on you can be forgiven, don't you?" Four curled tentacles shot out from the dust, slamming into a hastily constructed energy shield.
"Nope," Tash responded.
"That was… unequivocal." Tyler dispelled the energy shield, grabbed the tentacles, and pulled Fido towards him before hitting him in the face with an open palm. Fido let out a hiss, and Tyler swept its legs out, then slammed it to the ground with his staff.
Tash hung up. Tyler smiled, even as Fido caught him with its tentacles.
"Finally… I can continue this fight in peace." Fido lifted Tyler into the air, and the Agent's smile faded as Fido began slamming him into the ground repeatedly, and then it returned as Tyler blasted Fido in the face with a stream of energy, and the E.V.O. dropped him. Tyler jumped to his feet and dashed off, hurling a double handful of explosives behind to ensure that Fido would not be following for some time.
Oooooo
By the Atlantic Ocean, at a lovely seaside street….
Everything was in utter chaos.
Rex, the orange-clad main character of the show, and Six, who was clad in green, and had been named for his status as sixth deadliest man in the world, (first, Tyler had always assumed, went to Chuck Norris by default, second to Alex Mercer, third to Master Chief, fourth to Butler, and fifth to Rex, perhaps, although he suspected Batman might be involved somewhere) were trying and failing to fight an elephant-sized E.V.O, which seemed to have copied Rex's power to generate mechanical weapons out of his body, then upped it to eleven. While Rex could only form one weapon at a time, the E.V.O. had generated a massive suit of armor, containing gauntlets, boots, a jetpack, a pair of cannons on its back, a tail that ended in a gigantic sword, and heavy armor covering everything else. Currently, it was using aforesaid weaponry to hold off Rex and Six. Rex had manifested twin fists, but they were rendered useless by the E.V.O's cannons ripping chunks out of the road and firing them at him. Six was dashing in and out, slashing with his twin katanas, but neither could get past the sword-tail. Each time Rex and Six stepped back, half a dozen soldiers of Providence, the organization Rex and Six worked for, would open fire on the E.V.O. But despite the coordination of the attack, it had roughly the same effect as squirting water at a charging rhinoceros.
At this point, Tyler turned the corner. Seeing Rex and Six fighting the E.V.O, he turned around, only to see Fido closing in on him. The smaller E.V.O. had recovered surprisingly quickly from the blast. Fortunately, this gave Tyler an idea. He dashed out of the alleyway at top speed, Fido in hot pursuit. As Fido thrust out all four tentacles, Tyler jumped onto the larger E.V.O, then leapt out over the railing separating the street from the ocean, leaving the tentacles to impale the larger E.V.O, whom Tyler had christened, "Fluffy." Instead of plummeting to his death, however, Tyler sent out an energy hook to catch the railing, veering around and launching himself feet first at Fido, slamming into the E.V.O and ripping it out of Fluffy. Fido landed with a hiss: Tyler with a triumphant grunt. Behind him, Fluffy let out a roar of pain, even as the damage to its armor repaired itself.
"Now that was a dynamic entry!" Tyler proclaimed to nobody in particular. "Okay, where's the Sue?"
Rex took a moment out of fighting Fluffy to glance at Tyler. "Sue? Is that some sort of acronym? And what's with that other E.V.O. over there?"
Tyler shrugged. "Superbly Uber Entity, how should I know? And I was just fighting that E.V.O, don't poke it!" Ignoring the downed Fido, Tyler charged at Fluffy, who roared a challenge and fired a chunk of asphalt at him. Tyler dove to one side and tossed a grenade at the E.V.O, which had no visible effect other than making it angry. As such, Tyler took the only logical option. He ran for it. Fluffy followed, striking at Tyler with its sword-tail.
Rex sweatdropped. "Who is this guy?"
Six, on the other hand, dashed forward, leaping into the air and slashing at the tail. The blow didn't seem to do anything…
-Until Fluffy lashed its tail at Tyler, and the sword stayed behind. The now-useless tail smashed into Fluffy's head, crushing it into the ground, then snapped back, sending the sword flying. Six slashed several more times, and bits of Fluffy's armor began to fall off. Even as they repaired themselves, Rex switched weapons, forming a cannon, ripping up a piece of asphalt, and blasting off the remainder of Fluffy's weaponry. A round of gunfire later, and Fluffy had been reduced to a young man. Before ex-E.V.O. could do anything, Rex walked over, and placed a hand on his head, deactivating the nanites in his bloodstream. Rex frowned. "He… sort of looks like me…"
"He's not your brother, father, son, uncle, nephew, clone, or anything else," Tyler interrupted. "Just a poorly made copy." "Guess that's the Stu. Evil twin or something."
"Um… what are you talking about, and how would you know?"
"Long story," Tyler responded, and then a katana was at his throat, Six behind it.
"Who are you, and why are you here, and how are you fighting an E.V.O?" Six demanded.
Tyler made an attempt at a smile. "Do I get to ask a question after?"
"We'll see. Talk."
"I'm an interdimensional traveler, sent from a Library that exists between the worlds to stop overly perfect beings like that E.V.O. over there. And the energy blasts are magic."
Six raised an eyebrow. "Try again."
"Fine. I'm just a random person who happens to have the ability to shoot energy out of my hands and has an unlimited supply of small explosives. Is my previous answer really so implausible compared to that?"
"No. It's still implausible though."
"Um… I was concealing a lasergun up my sleeve?"
"Those don't exist."
"Um… look, you could just take me prisoner and talk this over without the involvement of sharp objects being placed at my throat. Please?"
"…"
"You should at least get that E.V.O."
Rex walked over. "Why? He's harmless now."
"Not for long. He's a Stu, he's going to regain his powers somehow. You're lucky you defeated him this time."
"Huh?"
Six turned to Rex. "He's been talking about how he's an interdimensional traveler or something."
Rex shrugged. "Sounds like your ordinary nutcase. He's probably just an E.V.O. in denial or something. I'll cure him." Rex placed a hand on Tyler's forehead, then withdrew it, startled. "What?"
"What is it?" Six asked.
"There aren't any nanites in his blood."
Six thought for a moment. "Remember your previous offer, of being taken prisoner to explain things?"
"Yes?"
"Consider it accepted."
Ooooo
Later, on a Providence ship…
"That makes no sense," White Knight, the leader of Providence, protested.
"That's because you've never been to other dimensions. I have. I didn't enter this world until long after the Event."
"Then how do you know about it?"
"Well… it's a long story."
"I've got time."
"Well… basically, my organization can see into any world, at any point in time during that world's history. It's pretty cool. Our jobs (self-appointed) are to hunt down overly perfect beings, such as that E.V.O. Rex and Six just fought, and take them prisoner, after disabling their powers using these." Tyler held up a Prohibitor. "This will most likely take the form of deactivating the Stu's nanites, but it won't work on any other E.V.O, so no, I can't give you any."
"Wait a minute," Rex interrupted. "Sure, it took three to one, plus a squad of Providence soldiers, but we took that thing down, and then I cured it! It's over!"
"Unlikely. It's a Stu, and a Villain Stu at that. It'll be back somehow."
"Like Van Kleiss?"
"Probably. If I had to guess, I'd say that the Stu will be, once it regains its powers, able to take out Van Kleiss in a fair fight."
Rex blinked. "Um… so can I."
"Sorry, did I say 'fair fight?' I meant 'fight where Van Kleiss has had three weeks to prepare.'"
"Okay…" White Knight said. "That still doesn't explain why we should believe you."
"I didn't say you should. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't be surprised when the E.V.O. you just fought resurfaces, you should bring me along when you go fight it, and that when this is all over, I'm taking it into custody, not you."
"What?"
"Normally, when a Sue or Stu leaves a universe, all memory of it is wiped. As such, once it's dealt with, I can't leave it here. I need to take it with me."
"We can't risk you giving it to Van Kleiss."
"I already said, I'm leaving this world once the Stu's been defeated."
"And why should we trust you?"
"Well, um-…right." Tyler sighed. "Look, can we deal with this after the Stu's been defeated?"
"…Fine," White Knight muttered. Then an alarm blared.
"WARNING! LARGE E.V.O. PRESENCE HAS BEEN DETECTED IN NEW YORK CITY!" Rex and Six immediately ran off.
Tyler smirked. "Well?"
"I still don't trust you… but you're capable of fighting an E.V.O, and you've got that bracelet that will deactivate the nanites, so I'm sending you with Rex and Six."
"Good."
Oooooo
Back in New York…
"Down, Fido!" Tyler yelled, slamming the tentacle being's head into the ground.
"Taylor, what did I tell you about naming these things Fido?" Rex shouted, from where he was fighting off a trio of identical beings.
"You said not to do it, because it sounds stupid! I just ignored you! And it's Tyler!" Tyler responded, tripping another Fido and stomping on its head.
"I don't care!" Rex called back, crushing half a dozen Fidos in a pair of huge fists. "And when you said that the Stu was like Van Kleiss, I didn't know you meant it literally!"
"Neither did I!" Tyler responded, punching a Fido in the face, and spraying another with magic. "How many of these things did it make, anyway?"
"The Stu must have activated half the nanites in the city! And how did you do that?" Rex formed a pair of boots and kicked a Fido away.
"I told you, it's magic!" Tyler blasted a Fido into the air with a grenade.
"Magic doesn't exist!" Rex fired a chunk of pavement at a group of Fidos, knocking them flying.
"Oh really?" Tyler blasted away a pair of Fidos with energy blasts.
"Um… yes."
"Ah, never mind," Tyler muttered, stopping a tentacle strike with his staff, kicking the offending Fido away, sweeping another's feet out, and hurling an explosive at a third. "When's Six gonna get here?"
"He got sidetracked by that other army of Fidos," Rex replied, catching a handful of tentacles, and using the Fido at the end of them as a flail.
"Right. Nice move by the way." Tyler ducked into a ball, and a Fido tripped over him. The Agent popped back up, grabbed the Fido, and hurled it at another, knocking them both down. "Top that!"
"Fine!" Rex leapt into the air, reformed the boots, and landed, sending every Fido within twenty feet flying. "Consider it topped."
"Okay, I'm suitably impressed." Tyler caught a Fido in the stomach with his staff, kicked another in the shin, and yanked a third towards him before punching it through the first two, knocking all three down.
Rex finished the fight by grabbing two handfuls of tentacles and yanking, slamming two Fidos into each other, knocking both out. Then Six landed between them. "The "Stu" as you call it, is by the ocean like before."
"Is it still in its "Blargh, I'm a giant monster," form?" Rex asked.
"Yes, only five times the size."
Tyler paled. "That… is really bad."
"Yes. On a slightly better note, the Pack is now fighting it. I left them to get you. Breach should pick us up in a sec-," He was cut off by the appearance of a red portal, and a zombie-like girl with two normal arms and two massive ones yanking Rex, Six, and Tyler in.
Oooooooo
At the oceanside street…
Rex, Six, Tyler, and Breach appeared on the street, and watched the battle unfolding. Fluffy had, true to Six's word, quintupled in size, now almost 100 feet tall, and was pounding Jacuzzi-sized holes in the road with its fists. Weaving around said fists were Biowulf, a bipedal wolf-like E.V.O. with mechanical plating, and Skalamander, a tall, fat, green E.V.O. with a lizard head shoved off to the side of its shoulder by a massive spike of diamond. Another spike of diamond had replaced its right hand. Finally, Van Kleiss, the leader of the Pack, who was simply a tall man with black-and-white hair, was standing behind the other two, attacking by extending his armor-plated right hand as a whip. Unfortunately, the combined efforts of the three were serving to do little more than annoy the massive E.V.O.
"Van Kleiss!" Rex shouted. "Why are you here?"
"What an existential question," Van Kleiss responded, dodging a fist and quickly moving out of Fluffy's range. "Why are any of us here? Is it just-"
"You know what I mean!" Rex shouted. By now, he and Six were fighting Fluffy's sword tail, Rex pounding away at it with massive fists, and Six slicing at it with the two katanas. Tyler, meanwhile, was running around on Fluffy's back, occasionally pausing to place a small explosive in a crack in the Stu's armor.
"Tyler, what are you doing up there?" Rex called.
"Nothing important!" Tyler yelled back, planting a final explosive in Fluffy's head. He was about to jump off, when a small hatch opened, and a Fido shot out, slamming into Tyler. Tyler quickly kicked the Fido away, and it fell to the ground, shattering on impact. Tyler swore under his breath, before calling down to Rex, Six, and the Pack. "This thing can create robots!" "At least I know where that army of Fidos came from…"
"What?" Rex called up.
"I said-"
"I can't hear you!"
"Never mind." Tyler kicked away a robot, smashed off the head of another with a bolt of magic, grabbed a pair of attacking tentacles, and yanked, sending a robot to its doom. Once again, he prepared to jump off…
-And four tentacles wrapped around him, dragging him back. Tyler quickly dispatched of the offending robot, but before he could jump off, he was swarmed by dozens of the things.
Down on the ground…
Rex slammed a fist into the sword-tail, and Six took the opportunity to slash it off. Before either could exploit the opening, the tail grew a new sword, and Rex and Six were forced to jump back to avoid it.
Biowulf had latched on to one of Fluffy's arms, and was tearing at it viciously. Meanwhile, Skalamander was blasting diamond spikes up at Fluffy's face. The giant E.V.O. was countering with huge chunks of rock ripped up from the road, but Breach absorbed them into portals and launched them back. Van Kleiss held on to Fluffy's other arm, keeping it out of the battle with surprising strength.
Suddenly Fluffy's mouth opened, and four small metal spheres shot down, hitting Skalamander and knocking him down, before sprouting long metal cables and entangling the lizard-E.V.O. Skalamander broke the bonds quickly, but his assault had been disrupted, and Fluffy took the opportunity to fire more of the spheres, tripping up the pack (except Breach, who had tossed the spheres aimed at her into the San Andreas Fault).
Six slammed his katanas together, creating a sonic/magnetic/something vibration that lifted a car and launched it up at Fluffy, who deflected it with a swipe of his sword tail, sending it arcing over the massive E.V.O's back.
Ooooo
Tyler blocked a tentacle-strike, kicked two Fidos off Fluffy's back, blasted a third to smithereens with a grenade, and shattered a fourth's head with a well-placed energy blast. And then he was hit from behind by a Fido that had gone unnoticed.
Tyler landed hard, rolling onto his back in time to watch two dozen Fidos all charging him. He knew he couldn't take all of them out before they reached him. He sighed.
"Well… this is a dangerous occupation. May as well die in style." Tyler pulled a small object out of his pocket. "Here we-"
His thoughts were interrupted by a car slamming into the Fidos charging him, sending all 24 plummeting into the Atlantic Ocean and leaving Tyler alone on Fluffy's back.
Tyler's jaw dropped. He slowly put the object back in his pocket, and then he was dancing backwards as a Fido lashed at him with its tentacles. He blocked the first few strikes, and retaliated with an explosive to the face, raising a cloud of dust. Tyler smirked.
"Well, looks like I just kicked your shiny metal-"
A tentacle whipped out of the cloud and snapped tight around Tyler's leg. The Agent barely had time to curse Conservation of Ninjutsu before he was hurled into the Atlantic Ocean.
Ooooo
Six dodged a swipe from the sword-tail, and dashed up onto Fluffy's leg, slicing away at the chinks in the armor. Fluffy raised its other leg, attempting to scrape off the sword wielder, but Rex caught the leg in a set of bolas launched from his wings, holding them back. Unfortunately, this meant that neither were paying attention to the sword-tail. Fluffy took advantage of this oversight to swat Rex out of the sky, crushing him into the ground. Six was next, being swatted away by the newly-freed leg. The sword-tail slashed out again, shearing a nearby building in half and sending the disconnected part spinning into the air.
At the front of Fluffy, the massive Stu caught the airborne building with one hand and slammed it down, completely failing to crush the Pack, who had been portalled back to Abysus, their home island, by Breach. On the other hand, the rubble flew over the side of the road, plummeting towards the already-endangered Tyler.
Ooooo
Tyler's first thought after the shock of Fido hurling him into the ocean was, "This is going to suck." His second thought, upon seeing the chunks of building zooming towards him, was, "Oh, well, maybe not. Let's see if the physics in this fandom are compliant enough to pull this off." He reached into his pocket, yanked out a rope, and hurled it upwards. The rope coiled around a section of railing that had been destroyed, and Tyler's downward plunge came to a welcome halt. That was the good part. The bad part; he was now headed at the same speed towards a solid concrete wall. Fortunately, he had a plan. Tyler snagged two explosives out of his pocket and hurled one at the wall, forming an explosion that propelled him backwards. The next explosive went under his shoe, blasting him upwards. He zipped past a chunk of building, landed on it, and launched himself upwards, repeating the trick until he had reached the railing. After a bow to an imaginary audience, Tyler collected his rope, stuck it back in his pocket, and dropped to one knee, gasping for breath.
"That… was really unpleasant." A roar from above alerted him to Fluffy's presence. "Hey, do you mind? I'm recovering here!"
Evidently the Stu did mind, as it slammed a hand down on the place where Tyler had been a second ago, the Agent having vanished and reappeared a few meters away. "Note to Stu! I still have the energy to do that a few more times! More importantly, of course, I have the energy to do this!" Tyler pulled the object from when the Fidos had been about to kill him out of his pocket and waved it in the air, giving the Stu (and the readers) a closer look at it. Inspection revealed a black, cylindrical object with a large red button at the top. Tyler naturally, pressed said button.
Beep!
Fluffy let out a puzzled roar.
BEEP!
Fluffy roared again, and reared up, trying to finish Tyler off.
BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!
BOOOOOM!
Fluffy's back exploded. The force of the blast slammed the Stu into the ground, raising the cost of repairs into a new order of magnitude. On a more important note, that wouldn't be reversed as soon as Tyler left the fandom, the blast had destroyed Fluffy's armor, reducing him to his original state: a carbon copy of Rex. Tyler grinned.
"So… I think we've established that massive robots don't work so well against me… you could always try a simple one-on-one fight. What's your name, by the way?"
"Dex."
"Oh."
"What did you expect? And, as to your proposition of a one-on-one fight, I have some better ideas. Just because I haven't, doesn't mean I can't warp canon characters. They already don't trust you. It should only take a little push…"
"I stuck Copyrights on them back on the ship."
"Damn."
Tyler shrugged. "You can't win 'em all."
A vein pulsed in the Stu's neck. "I'm going to kill you SLOWLY!" He generated a pair of swords out of his hands and charged, slashing at Tyler in a frenzy. The Agent ducked and weaved, each slash going high, low, or both.
"Hold still, damn you!"
"Now why the hell would I do that?"
"So I can kill you!" Dex lunged, missing by a meter, and Tyler kicked him in the shin, than whacked him with his staff. The Stu stumbled backwards, yelping in pain, but quickly recovered, smashing both swords into the ground. Tyler danced back, firing energy bolts at Dex. The Stu responded by ripping the swords out of the ground, sending a shockwave of rock at Tyler. The Agent ran forward, leaping over the shockwave and planting both feet in Dex's face, knocking him down. The Stu slammed the flats of his swords into Tyler, picked him up, and hurled the Agent away. Tyler landed in a heap. "Ow…"
"HAHA! Prepare to DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The swords vanished, and were replaced by a huge drill. Tyler frowned, from where he was picking himself up.
"Never seen that before…" "Wonderful. I was wondering how long it would take for him to start making up new weapons."
"DIE!" Dex raced forwards, thrusting the drill at Tyler, who dodged, leaving the drill to drive into the ground. "That all, Dexy?"
"Don't call me that!" The ground whirled around the drill, shooting towards Tyler in a wave.
"Not bad…" Tyler hurled a handful of explosives at the wall of pavement, pulverizing it, and ran through the resulting dust cloud, fist outstretched-
-And Dex caught it, then shoved Tyler back, generated a pair of boots, and kicked the Agent away.
Tyler got to his feet, wincing. "That… really hurt."
"Yeah? Well it's about to get worse!" Dex charged toward Tyler, leaping into the air...
...and Tyler dropped to the ground as Dex sailed over him and into a building, crashing through the wall. Tyler smirked.
"My turn." He tossed an explosive into the hole in the building, heard the report….
And the entire building collapsed, crushing Dex. Tyler grinned widely. "Told you you can't win 'em all."
"I'd save the one-liners for when you've actually won, Agent!"
"What?"
Dex burst from the wreckage, slamming two massive mechanical fists into Tyler, pinning him to the ground. One of the fists changed into a sword, and Dex prepared to deliver the finishing blow…
And Tyler reached up and stuck something to the Stu's forehead.
"What the heck?"
Tyler's only response was a raspberry. Dex than became conscious of a beeping noise from somewhere on his head. "Oh fu-"
KABLAM!
Dex was blown backwards. Tyler got to his feet, brushing himself off. "I would suggest you not try that again, unless you want the headache of your life."
"You… little… RODENT! I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
"…Hey, do you know a Stu with a ridiculously long name that can be easily shortened to Kirpy, and a Sue named Faya something M the 99th?"
"Yeah, they're my siblings, neither of whom knows the other exists due to half a million hackneyed plot devices. Why?"
Tyler blinked. "No reason."
Dex growled, and generated a pair of VERY large weapons out of his hands. Tyler was confused for a second, until Dex lifted his arms, revealing the four holes in each
"Rocket launcher? Now that's just unfair."
Dex shrugged and fired. Eight rockets, well, rocketed towards Tyler, who calmly vanished, reappearing twenty feet away. "You're going to have to do better than-," The rockets swerved and followed him. Tyler screamed in frustration and ran off into an alley.
Ooooo
Several extraordinarily long seconds later…
Tyler was running out of energy. He had jumped, ducked, and dodged to avoid the explosives, and was down to four. He dashed up a wall, and as the rockets followed him, he jumped back down. Two rockets collided in their hurry to U-turn, but the other two did barrel rolls and continued pursuing him. Tyler, for his part, ran like a bat out of hell, if bats had legs, if "out of," had meant, "away from," and if hell had been a pair of Tyler-seeking rockets.
Tyler kept running, turning around each new corner to avoid the rockets, until finally he was back where he started, although instead of running into an alley, he was now running out of it, on a beeline for Dex.
Dex was slightly confused as to Tyler's choice, but his confusion quickly turned to terror as he noted the two rockets tailgating the Agent. His terror increased as Tyler (In, for no apparent reason, slow motion) jumped onto the Stu's back, then leapt off, leaving the two rockets to blast Dex into next week. The Stu's wake sent Tyler into a backflip, from which he landed squarely on his back. He got up in time to watch in triumph as the Stu carved a crater into the pavement though.
Dex leapt to his feet, formed a sword, and charged, swiping at Tyler over and over, the Agent dodging each strike, looking for an opening. After about five minutes, he found one. Dex overextended, and Tyler drew his staff-
And a tentacle whipped out of nowhere, grabbed Tyler, and yanked him into an alleyway, where Tyler realized that he should have gotten Rex to cure the original Fido while he had the chance.
Before Fido could capitalize on his victory, Dex let out a shout of anger and leapt for the other E.V.O, slashing at it with his sword. Fido hissed, fending Dex off with three tentacles while holding Tyler behind it with the fourth. Tyler, meanwhile, was taking matters into his own hands.
"NOBODY STEALS MY KILLS!" Dex roared, trying to impale Fido. The tentacled E.V.O. ducked the blade, but Dex simply generated a new one, and would have used it too, except that an explosive hit him in the face, stunning him for the second it took for Fido to fasten its tentacles around his throat and begin to squeeze. Tyler grinned, but his grin faded (or completely vanished, really) when Fido smashed him into the ground.
"So far, every time someone is about to claim final victory, a third party intervenes. Right now, Fido's winning against Dex, which would make it….my turn? I guess." Tyler sent a sheet of wind traveling along the ground, tripping Fido and allowing Dex to throw off the tentacles that had been throttling him. Fido let out a shriek of rage, but it was too late. Dex smashed aside the tentacles with a fist, and then grabbed Fido by the face, lifting the E.V.O. into the air, and draining the nanites from its blood.
In the span of seconds, Fido had been reduced to a normal, terrified human, whom Dex gave a sadistic smile before hurling them away, probably to their death. In the meantime, Tyler had gotten to his feet.
"Ready to finish it, Dexy?"
"I told you… not to CALL ME THAT!" Dex raised a mechanical fist and pounded it down where Tyler had been a moment ago, then swung the fist after the fleeing Agent. Tyler darted up the wall of the alleyway, jumping over the fist, and detonating an explosive in Dex's face. The E.V.O. stumbled back, and Tyler rushed forward, kneeing the Stu in the face, then kicking him in the shin, stomping on his foot, and finally biting the mechanical fist, ripping off a large chunk and swallowing it whole. Dex sat down hard, head still spinning. "Wh-what was that?"
"'That,' as you so eloquently refer to it, is what happens when you completely fail to realize that I'm smaller and faster than you, and that I am, in fact, capable of eating metal. And now," Tyler pulled out a Prohibitor, "It's over." The Prohibitor was torn from his hand by a sword, which landed in a wall. "OH COME ON!"
Tyler barely had time to form a shield before Rex's fist smashed into him, sending him flying. As Tyler rolled to his feet, he had to jump backwards to avoid Agent Six slicing him in half. "What? They were Copyrighted!"
"The E.V.O's ours, Taylor!" Six said, slicing at Tyler repeatedly.
"That would explain it." "I can't let you take it! It'll be back within a day! And it's Tyler!" Tyler shoved one of Six's swords away, and bumped into a wall. Before he could move, the other sword, which Six had somehow recovered, was at his throat.
"I'm sorry, Tyler. We can't trust you."
"I'm sorry too."
"Why?"
"Because I just activated every explosive on my person."
Six paled, a remarkable feat.
BOOM!
The explosion enveloped Tyler in an aura of flames, and hurled Six backwards. As the flames dissipated, Tyler walked out from them, completely unharmed. Six blinked.
"Acquired immunity to explosives, Six. Now…" Tyler dashed towards Rex, who had pinned Dex to the ground and was about to cure him. Unbeknownst to Rex, Dex had generated a huge sword, and was about to impale Rex with it.
Or he would have been, had Tyler not tackled Rex, knocking him out of the way of the blade. Dex growled, his kill stolen yet again.
Tyler jumped to his feet, drawing another Prohibitor...
...and then he was jumping away as Six appeared from nowhere, slashing viciously at him. Meanwhile, Rex and Dex were now going at it at full power. Rex had formed a jetpack-wings-device, while Dex was just using twin swords. The two were smashing into each other over and over again, each time with enough force to shatter a house.
Ooooo
Back in the Library…
"This is getting confusing," Ben complained. "Weren't Tyler and the orange and green guys on the same side a moment ago?"
Ooooo
They certainly weren't now. Six was slicing at Tyler, failing to connect with the smaller Agent, who had drawn his staff and was using it to great effect. Rex was launching chunks of pavement at Dex, who would slice them in half and charge, only to miss and get hit by an explosive from Tyler, who would then have to dodge away from Six again.
"Seriously, what are you made of?" Tyler muttered, dodging away, kicking Six, and spraying him with energy bursts. Six replied with a quick slash that slipped past Tyler's staff and opened a small cut on his shoulder. Tyler yelped, and Six kicked him to the ground, holding a sword to his throat.
"You're all out of bombs, Taylor."
Tyler groaned. "I'm going to die with my name mispronounced." And then a Dex-thrown Rex slammed into Six, knocking him off of Tyler. Tyler's jaw dropped (again).
"And I thought the Stu was supposed to be lucky." Tyler got to his feet…just in time to see Dex zooming towards him, having grown a motorcycle from his legs. "GAH!"
Tyler leapt up, but Dex caught him, trying to hurl him under the motorcycle. Tyler snapped out his staff, forming a hook of energy on the end and snagging the ground, slowing the motorcycle down very slightly.
"No passengers!" Dex shouted, trying to elbow Tyler in the face. Tyler just held on for dear life, occasionally jabbing Dex with a needle of energy. For his part, the Stu was swerving wildly, trying to throw off the unwanted occupant. After a particularly violent turn, Tyler did something he hadn't done in a long time. He threw up. The result of this melted a hole in the street, and the chunk of metal he had recently eaten was expelled at dangerous speed, bouncing off a building and shattering the back of Dex's motorcycle, sending Dex and Tyler skidding along the ground. Tyler just rolled into a building, but Dex wasn't so lucky. He bumped into Rex, and lay there, prone, vaguely conscious of the world. Rex grinned down at him.
"Hey, you're in luck! I just got my second wind!"
At this point, Tyler noticed what sounded like music. He frowned. "Why would music be playing? Unless…" As the music got louder, Tyler recognized it. It was the show's theme song.
-MAKE WAY, WE'LL START A REVOLUTION!-
Rex formed a pair of boots, hauled back, and kicked Dex through a building, before charging after him.
-MAKE WAY, WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN TONIGHT!-
Rex caught up with the still-moving Stu, generated a fist, and crushed Dex into the ground.
-MAKE WAY, WE'LL START A REVOLUTION! SO MAKE WAY!-
Even as Dex shoved Rex away with giant fists of his own, Rex switched back to boots, and kicked the E.V.O.-Stu into the stratosphere.
-MAKE WAY, WE'LL START A REVOLUTION!-
Rex generated the jetpack-wings, flying up at incredible speed to catch Dex 1000 feet above the ground.
-MAKE WAY, WE'LL START A REVOLUTION! SO MAKE WAYYYYYY!-
As the music died down, Dex slammed into the ground with the force of a small meteor, followed by Rex doing the same, smashing a fist right on top of the Stu. As Rex stepped back, and the house-sized dust cloud cleared, it revealed Dex lying in a huge crater, completely unconscious. Tyler stepped forward with a Prohibitor, but found his path blocked by Rex and Six.
"He's ours, Taylor," the green-clad man stated.
"Well, I had a funny feeling you'd say that… so I took the liberty of planting half a dozen bombs on each of you when you weren't paying attention. If you recall, Six, I said 'On my person.'" Tyler took another detonator switch out of his pocket. "Oh, and another thing…" He pressed the switch, and both Rex and Six were knocked over by the blast. "It's Tyler."
The Agent hopped into the crater, placed a Prohibitor on Dex, opened a Plothole, and returned to the Library to steal cookies.
Ooooo
A few minutes later, in the Generator Rex fandom…
Rex and Six got up, very confused. The last thing they remembered, they had been fighting Van Kleiss…and then….? After a call from White Knight demanding their immediate return, the two chalked it up to a slightly more crushing than usual defeat, and headed back to Providence base. Six never gave the matter a second thought. Rex, on the other hand…
Rex had had previous experience with amnesia.
He knew there was something missing. And, maybe eventually, he would figure it out.
That is, if he still cared after sleeping for the week he would need to recover from whatever had happened.
"No idea. Its first action was to turn into a gigantic mecha-thing and start going on a rampage," Tash responded.
"Guess it's a Villain Sue." Tyler stepped through a Plothole and vanished.
Ooooo
In the Generator Rex fandom….
Tyler walked through the streets of New York City, ignoring the repeated blaring of some megaphone announcing lockdown due to E.V.O. attack. Tyler figured that the Sue or Stu would have to show itself soon, deadly beings mutated into horrible monsters by the nanobots in their blood being rather hard to hide.
And then it did. Something flashed out of an alleyway, bowling Tyler over. The Agent recovered quickly, kicking the assailant off of him. It slammed into a building and slid down, revealing itself as a humanoid figure with four long, sharp, tentacles protruding from its back. It was clad in what looked like thin orange metal, and its face was obscured by an equally orange visor. Obviously it was the Sue or Stu that had invaded the fandom. Tyler rolled to his feet, drawing his staff and dropping into something resembling a fighting stance.
The Sue or Stu (Tyler had decided to think of it as "Fido") sent all four of its tentacles stabbing towards Tyler…
...impaling the ground where he had been a moment ago, as the Agent dashed up one of the tentacles, leaping into the air. Fido pulled one tentacle out of the ground, lashing it up to catch Tyler out of the air, but Tyler grabbed the tentacle and swung to the ground, kicking Fido in the face as he passed. As Tyler hit the ground, he swiped at the E.V.O's feet with his staff, tripping Fido, and kicked him into the building again. As Fido slid to the ground, Tyler relaxed slightly.
"You know, for a Sue or Stu, you're not putting up much of a fight." His only response was a hiss from Fido. "At least you haven't told me to shut up yet."
Fido lunged, and Tyler stepped to one side, grabbing the E.V.O's tentacles with a rope of energy and yanking hard. Fido stumbled backwards, and Tyler blasted it with an energy beam. The Agent tossed a handful of explosives at Fido, and the E.V.O. was blasted backwards into the same building, for the third time. This time, instead of slamming into the building and sliding down, Fido smashed through the wall. This was immediately followed by the entire building collapsing on the E.V.O.
"Huh. Third time's the charm, I guess!" Tyler was about to walk away, when a tentacle shot out of the rubble, grabbed a chunk of rock, and hurled it at him. Tyler dove to one side and pelted the tentacle with energy bursts. A second tentacle ripped its way free to deflect the bolts, then both lashed around Tyler's neck and began to throttle him. The Agent responded by grabbing the tentacles and yanking back. A screech of pain came from the rockpile, and the tentacles went limp. Tyler tossed them to the ground before stomping on one. "Take that, you tentacled piece of-,"
Tyler was cut off by Fido smashing its way out of the rockpile and lashing at Tyler, who dodged the tentacle-strikes, then grabbed the tentacles and yanked again, bringing Fido close enough to punch it in the face with a magic-augmented hand. The Agent and the E.V.O. exchanged blows for a few minutes, before Tyler smacked it across the face with his staff, planted a bomb on its chest, and blasted it backwards. Then Tyler's communicator beeped.
"Tyler, what are you doing?" Tash's voice demanded.
"What do you mean? I was attacked by the Sue or Stu, which I have named Fido, and now I'm fighting it! What do you want from me?"
"Tyler, that's not-," Tash was cut off by the tentacles wrapping around Tyler while he was distracted, yanking him up, and smashing him into the ground. "What was that?"
"Ow… nothing. Gotta go." Tyler rolled aside as the tentacles pounded the ground around him.
"Wait, what? Tyler, don't you dare hang up on-BEEEEP!" Tyler shut off the communicator, ignoring Tash.
"Too late!"
Fido let out a hiss of anger and lunged, slashing at Tyler with its tentacles. The Agent danced around the whirling attacks, peppering Fido with energy bolts. Tyler's communicator beeped again. He ignored it, dodging a second charge and kicking Fido in the back, knocking the E.V.O. down. "What is it this time?"
"First of all, you're on basement duty for the next week for hanging up on me. Second, that's not the Sue or Stu."
"What?" Tyler hurled a handful of grenades at Fido, knocking it over and forming a cloud of dust.
"I just told you, that's not-,"
"No, I mean, I was in a life-or-death situation! I think hanging up on you can be forgiven, don't you?" Four curled tentacles shot out from the dust, slamming into a hastily constructed energy shield.
"Nope," Tash responded.
"That was… unequivocal." Tyler dispelled the energy shield, grabbed the tentacles, and pulled Fido towards him before hitting him in the face with an open palm. Fido let out a hiss, and Tyler swept its legs out, then slammed it to the ground with his staff.
Tash hung up. Tyler smiled, even as Fido caught him with its tentacles.
"Finally… I can continue this fight in peace." Fido lifted Tyler into the air, and the Agent's smile faded as Fido began slamming him into the ground repeatedly, and then it returned as Tyler blasted Fido in the face with a stream of energy, and the E.V.O. dropped him. Tyler jumped to his feet and dashed off, hurling a double handful of explosives behind to ensure that Fido would not be following for some time.
Oooooo
By the Atlantic Ocean, at a lovely seaside street….
Everything was in utter chaos.
Rex, the orange-clad main character of the show, and Six, who was clad in green, and had been named for his status as sixth deadliest man in the world, (first, Tyler had always assumed, went to Chuck Norris by default, second to Alex Mercer, third to Master Chief, fourth to Butler, and fifth to Rex, perhaps, although he suspected Batman might be involved somewhere) were trying and failing to fight an elephant-sized E.V.O, which seemed to have copied Rex's power to generate mechanical weapons out of his body, then upped it to eleven. While Rex could only form one weapon at a time, the E.V.O. had generated a massive suit of armor, containing gauntlets, boots, a jetpack, a pair of cannons on its back, a tail that ended in a gigantic sword, and heavy armor covering everything else. Currently, it was using aforesaid weaponry to hold off Rex and Six. Rex had manifested twin fists, but they were rendered useless by the E.V.O's cannons ripping chunks out of the road and firing them at him. Six was dashing in and out, slashing with his twin katanas, but neither could get past the sword-tail. Each time Rex and Six stepped back, half a dozen soldiers of Providence, the organization Rex and Six worked for, would open fire on the E.V.O. But despite the coordination of the attack, it had roughly the same effect as squirting water at a charging rhinoceros.
At this point, Tyler turned the corner. Seeing Rex and Six fighting the E.V.O, he turned around, only to see Fido closing in on him. The smaller E.V.O. had recovered surprisingly quickly from the blast. Fortunately, this gave Tyler an idea. He dashed out of the alleyway at top speed, Fido in hot pursuit. As Fido thrust out all four tentacles, Tyler jumped onto the larger E.V.O, then leapt out over the railing separating the street from the ocean, leaving the tentacles to impale the larger E.V.O, whom Tyler had christened, "Fluffy." Instead of plummeting to his death, however, Tyler sent out an energy hook to catch the railing, veering around and launching himself feet first at Fido, slamming into the E.V.O and ripping it out of Fluffy. Fido landed with a hiss: Tyler with a triumphant grunt. Behind him, Fluffy let out a roar of pain, even as the damage to its armor repaired itself.
"Now that was a dynamic entry!" Tyler proclaimed to nobody in particular. "Okay, where's the Sue?"
Rex took a moment out of fighting Fluffy to glance at Tyler. "Sue? Is that some sort of acronym? And what's with that other E.V.O. over there?"
Tyler shrugged. "Superbly Uber Entity, how should I know? And I was just fighting that E.V.O, don't poke it!" Ignoring the downed Fido, Tyler charged at Fluffy, who roared a challenge and fired a chunk of asphalt at him. Tyler dove to one side and tossed a grenade at the E.V.O, which had no visible effect other than making it angry. As such, Tyler took the only logical option. He ran for it. Fluffy followed, striking at Tyler with its sword-tail.
Rex sweatdropped. "Who is this guy?"
Six, on the other hand, dashed forward, leaping into the air and slashing at the tail. The blow didn't seem to do anything…
-Until Fluffy lashed its tail at Tyler, and the sword stayed behind. The now-useless tail smashed into Fluffy's head, crushing it into the ground, then snapped back, sending the sword flying. Six slashed several more times, and bits of Fluffy's armor began to fall off. Even as they repaired themselves, Rex switched weapons, forming a cannon, ripping up a piece of asphalt, and blasting off the remainder of Fluffy's weaponry. A round of gunfire later, and Fluffy had been reduced to a young man. Before ex-E.V.O. could do anything, Rex walked over, and placed a hand on his head, deactivating the nanites in his bloodstream. Rex frowned. "He… sort of looks like me…"
"He's not your brother, father, son, uncle, nephew, clone, or anything else," Tyler interrupted. "Just a poorly made copy." "Guess that's the Stu. Evil twin or something."
"Um… what are you talking about, and how would you know?"
"Long story," Tyler responded, and then a katana was at his throat, Six behind it.
"Who are you, and why are you here, and how are you fighting an E.V.O?" Six demanded.
Tyler made an attempt at a smile. "Do I get to ask a question after?"
"We'll see. Talk."
"I'm an interdimensional traveler, sent from a Library that exists between the worlds to stop overly perfect beings like that E.V.O. over there. And the energy blasts are magic."
Six raised an eyebrow. "Try again."
"Fine. I'm just a random person who happens to have the ability to shoot energy out of my hands and has an unlimited supply of small explosives. Is my previous answer really so implausible compared to that?"
"No. It's still implausible though."
"Um… I was concealing a lasergun up my sleeve?"
"Those don't exist."
"Um… look, you could just take me prisoner and talk this over without the involvement of sharp objects being placed at my throat. Please?"
"…"
"You should at least get that E.V.O."
Rex walked over. "Why? He's harmless now."
"Not for long. He's a Stu, he's going to regain his powers somehow. You're lucky you defeated him this time."
"Huh?"
Six turned to Rex. "He's been talking about how he's an interdimensional traveler or something."
Rex shrugged. "Sounds like your ordinary nutcase. He's probably just an E.V.O. in denial or something. I'll cure him." Rex placed a hand on Tyler's forehead, then withdrew it, startled. "What?"
"What is it?" Six asked.
"There aren't any nanites in his blood."
Six thought for a moment. "Remember your previous offer, of being taken prisoner to explain things?"
"Yes?"
"Consider it accepted."
Ooooo
Later, on a Providence ship…
"That makes no sense," White Knight, the leader of Providence, protested.
"That's because you've never been to other dimensions. I have. I didn't enter this world until long after the Event."
"Then how do you know about it?"
"Well… it's a long story."
"I've got time."
"Well… basically, my organization can see into any world, at any point in time during that world's history. It's pretty cool. Our jobs (self-appointed) are to hunt down overly perfect beings, such as that E.V.O. Rex and Six just fought, and take them prisoner, after disabling their powers using these." Tyler held up a Prohibitor. "This will most likely take the form of deactivating the Stu's nanites, but it won't work on any other E.V.O, so no, I can't give you any."
"Wait a minute," Rex interrupted. "Sure, it took three to one, plus a squad of Providence soldiers, but we took that thing down, and then I cured it! It's over!"
"Unlikely. It's a Stu, and a Villain Stu at that. It'll be back somehow."
"Like Van Kleiss?"
"Probably. If I had to guess, I'd say that the Stu will be, once it regains its powers, able to take out Van Kleiss in a fair fight."
Rex blinked. "Um… so can I."
"Sorry, did I say 'fair fight?' I meant 'fight where Van Kleiss has had three weeks to prepare.'"
"Okay…" White Knight said. "That still doesn't explain why we should believe you."
"I didn't say you should. All I'm saying is that you shouldn't be surprised when the E.V.O. you just fought resurfaces, you should bring me along when you go fight it, and that when this is all over, I'm taking it into custody, not you."
"What?"
"Normally, when a Sue or Stu leaves a universe, all memory of it is wiped. As such, once it's dealt with, I can't leave it here. I need to take it with me."
"We can't risk you giving it to Van Kleiss."
"I already said, I'm leaving this world once the Stu's been defeated."
"And why should we trust you?"
"Well, um-…right." Tyler sighed. "Look, can we deal with this after the Stu's been defeated?"
"…Fine," White Knight muttered. Then an alarm blared.
"WARNING! LARGE E.V.O. PRESENCE HAS BEEN DETECTED IN NEW YORK CITY!" Rex and Six immediately ran off.
Tyler smirked. "Well?"
"I still don't trust you… but you're capable of fighting an E.V.O, and you've got that bracelet that will deactivate the nanites, so I'm sending you with Rex and Six."
"Good."
Oooooo
Back in New York…
"Down, Fido!" Tyler yelled, slamming the tentacle being's head into the ground.
"Taylor, what did I tell you about naming these things Fido?" Rex shouted, from where he was fighting off a trio of identical beings.
"You said not to do it, because it sounds stupid! I just ignored you! And it's Tyler!" Tyler responded, tripping another Fido and stomping on its head.
"I don't care!" Rex called back, crushing half a dozen Fidos in a pair of huge fists. "And when you said that the Stu was like Van Kleiss, I didn't know you meant it literally!"
"Neither did I!" Tyler responded, punching a Fido in the face, and spraying another with magic. "How many of these things did it make, anyway?"
"The Stu must have activated half the nanites in the city! And how did you do that?" Rex formed a pair of boots and kicked a Fido away.
"I told you, it's magic!" Tyler blasted a Fido into the air with a grenade.
"Magic doesn't exist!" Rex fired a chunk of pavement at a group of Fidos, knocking them flying.
"Oh really?" Tyler blasted away a pair of Fidos with energy blasts.
"Um… yes."
"Ah, never mind," Tyler muttered, stopping a tentacle strike with his staff, kicking the offending Fido away, sweeping another's feet out, and hurling an explosive at a third. "When's Six gonna get here?"
"He got sidetracked by that other army of Fidos," Rex replied, catching a handful of tentacles, and using the Fido at the end of them as a flail.
"Right. Nice move by the way." Tyler ducked into a ball, and a Fido tripped over him. The Agent popped back up, grabbed the Fido, and hurled it at another, knocking them both down. "Top that!"
"Fine!" Rex leapt into the air, reformed the boots, and landed, sending every Fido within twenty feet flying. "Consider it topped."
"Okay, I'm suitably impressed." Tyler caught a Fido in the stomach with his staff, kicked another in the shin, and yanked a third towards him before punching it through the first two, knocking all three down.
Rex finished the fight by grabbing two handfuls of tentacles and yanking, slamming two Fidos into each other, knocking both out. Then Six landed between them. "The "Stu" as you call it, is by the ocean like before."
"Is it still in its "Blargh, I'm a giant monster," form?" Rex asked.
"Yes, only five times the size."
Tyler paled. "That… is really bad."
"Yes. On a slightly better note, the Pack is now fighting it. I left them to get you. Breach should pick us up in a sec-," He was cut off by the appearance of a red portal, and a zombie-like girl with two normal arms and two massive ones yanking Rex, Six, and Tyler in.
Oooooooo
At the oceanside street…
Rex, Six, Tyler, and Breach appeared on the street, and watched the battle unfolding. Fluffy had, true to Six's word, quintupled in size, now almost 100 feet tall, and was pounding Jacuzzi-sized holes in the road with its fists. Weaving around said fists were Biowulf, a bipedal wolf-like E.V.O. with mechanical plating, and Skalamander, a tall, fat, green E.V.O. with a lizard head shoved off to the side of its shoulder by a massive spike of diamond. Another spike of diamond had replaced its right hand. Finally, Van Kleiss, the leader of the Pack, who was simply a tall man with black-and-white hair, was standing behind the other two, attacking by extending his armor-plated right hand as a whip. Unfortunately, the combined efforts of the three were serving to do little more than annoy the massive E.V.O.
"Van Kleiss!" Rex shouted. "Why are you here?"
"What an existential question," Van Kleiss responded, dodging a fist and quickly moving out of Fluffy's range. "Why are any of us here? Is it just-"
"You know what I mean!" Rex shouted. By now, he and Six were fighting Fluffy's sword tail, Rex pounding away at it with massive fists, and Six slicing at it with the two katanas. Tyler, meanwhile, was running around on Fluffy's back, occasionally pausing to place a small explosive in a crack in the Stu's armor.
"Tyler, what are you doing up there?" Rex called.
"Nothing important!" Tyler yelled back, planting a final explosive in Fluffy's head. He was about to jump off, when a small hatch opened, and a Fido shot out, slamming into Tyler. Tyler quickly kicked the Fido away, and it fell to the ground, shattering on impact. Tyler swore under his breath, before calling down to Rex, Six, and the Pack. "This thing can create robots!" "At least I know where that army of Fidos came from…"
"What?" Rex called up.
"I said-"
"I can't hear you!"
"Never mind." Tyler kicked away a robot, smashed off the head of another with a bolt of magic, grabbed a pair of attacking tentacles, and yanked, sending a robot to its doom. Once again, he prepared to jump off…
-And four tentacles wrapped around him, dragging him back. Tyler quickly dispatched of the offending robot, but before he could jump off, he was swarmed by dozens of the things.
Down on the ground…
Rex slammed a fist into the sword-tail, and Six took the opportunity to slash it off. Before either could exploit the opening, the tail grew a new sword, and Rex and Six were forced to jump back to avoid it.
Biowulf had latched on to one of Fluffy's arms, and was tearing at it viciously. Meanwhile, Skalamander was blasting diamond spikes up at Fluffy's face. The giant E.V.O. was countering with huge chunks of rock ripped up from the road, but Breach absorbed them into portals and launched them back. Van Kleiss held on to Fluffy's other arm, keeping it out of the battle with surprising strength.
Suddenly Fluffy's mouth opened, and four small metal spheres shot down, hitting Skalamander and knocking him down, before sprouting long metal cables and entangling the lizard-E.V.O. Skalamander broke the bonds quickly, but his assault had been disrupted, and Fluffy took the opportunity to fire more of the spheres, tripping up the pack (except Breach, who had tossed the spheres aimed at her into the San Andreas Fault).
Six slammed his katanas together, creating a sonic/magnetic/something vibration that lifted a car and launched it up at Fluffy, who deflected it with a swipe of his sword tail, sending it arcing over the massive E.V.O's back.
Ooooo
Tyler blocked a tentacle-strike, kicked two Fidos off Fluffy's back, blasted a third to smithereens with a grenade, and shattered a fourth's head with a well-placed energy blast. And then he was hit from behind by a Fido that had gone unnoticed.
Tyler landed hard, rolling onto his back in time to watch two dozen Fidos all charging him. He knew he couldn't take all of them out before they reached him. He sighed.
"Well… this is a dangerous occupation. May as well die in style." Tyler pulled a small object out of his pocket. "Here we-"
His thoughts were interrupted by a car slamming into the Fidos charging him, sending all 24 plummeting into the Atlantic Ocean and leaving Tyler alone on Fluffy's back.
Tyler's jaw dropped. He slowly put the object back in his pocket, and then he was dancing backwards as a Fido lashed at him with its tentacles. He blocked the first few strikes, and retaliated with an explosive to the face, raising a cloud of dust. Tyler smirked.
"Well, looks like I just kicked your shiny metal-"
A tentacle whipped out of the cloud and snapped tight around Tyler's leg. The Agent barely had time to curse Conservation of Ninjutsu before he was hurled into the Atlantic Ocean.
Ooooo
Six dodged a swipe from the sword-tail, and dashed up onto Fluffy's leg, slicing away at the chinks in the armor. Fluffy raised its other leg, attempting to scrape off the sword wielder, but Rex caught the leg in a set of bolas launched from his wings, holding them back. Unfortunately, this meant that neither were paying attention to the sword-tail. Fluffy took advantage of this oversight to swat Rex out of the sky, crushing him into the ground. Six was next, being swatted away by the newly-freed leg. The sword-tail slashed out again, shearing a nearby building in half and sending the disconnected part spinning into the air.
At the front of Fluffy, the massive Stu caught the airborne building with one hand and slammed it down, completely failing to crush the Pack, who had been portalled back to Abysus, their home island, by Breach. On the other hand, the rubble flew over the side of the road, plummeting towards the already-endangered Tyler.
Ooooo
Tyler's first thought after the shock of Fido hurling him into the ocean was, "This is going to suck." His second thought, upon seeing the chunks of building zooming towards him, was, "Oh, well, maybe not. Let's see if the physics in this fandom are compliant enough to pull this off." He reached into his pocket, yanked out a rope, and hurled it upwards. The rope coiled around a section of railing that had been destroyed, and Tyler's downward plunge came to a welcome halt. That was the good part. The bad part; he was now headed at the same speed towards a solid concrete wall. Fortunately, he had a plan. Tyler snagged two explosives out of his pocket and hurled one at the wall, forming an explosion that propelled him backwards. The next explosive went under his shoe, blasting him upwards. He zipped past a chunk of building, landed on it, and launched himself upwards, repeating the trick until he had reached the railing. After a bow to an imaginary audience, Tyler collected his rope, stuck it back in his pocket, and dropped to one knee, gasping for breath.
"That… was really unpleasant." A roar from above alerted him to Fluffy's presence. "Hey, do you mind? I'm recovering here!"
Evidently the Stu did mind, as it slammed a hand down on the place where Tyler had been a second ago, the Agent having vanished and reappeared a few meters away. "Note to Stu! I still have the energy to do that a few more times! More importantly, of course, I have the energy to do this!" Tyler pulled the object from when the Fidos had been about to kill him out of his pocket and waved it in the air, giving the Stu (and the readers) a closer look at it. Inspection revealed a black, cylindrical object with a large red button at the top. Tyler naturally, pressed said button.
Beep!
Fluffy let out a puzzled roar.
BEEP!
Fluffy roared again, and reared up, trying to finish Tyler off.
BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!
BOOOOOM!
Fluffy's back exploded. The force of the blast slammed the Stu into the ground, raising the cost of repairs into a new order of magnitude. On a more important note, that wouldn't be reversed as soon as Tyler left the fandom, the blast had destroyed Fluffy's armor, reducing him to his original state: a carbon copy of Rex. Tyler grinned.
"So… I think we've established that massive robots don't work so well against me… you could always try a simple one-on-one fight. What's your name, by the way?"
"Dex."
"Oh."
"What did you expect? And, as to your proposition of a one-on-one fight, I have some better ideas. Just because I haven't, doesn't mean I can't warp canon characters. They already don't trust you. It should only take a little push…"
"I stuck Copyrights on them back on the ship."
"Damn."
Tyler shrugged. "You can't win 'em all."
A vein pulsed in the Stu's neck. "I'm going to kill you SLOWLY!" He generated a pair of swords out of his hands and charged, slashing at Tyler in a frenzy. The Agent ducked and weaved, each slash going high, low, or both.
"Hold still, damn you!"
"Now why the hell would I do that?"
"So I can kill you!" Dex lunged, missing by a meter, and Tyler kicked him in the shin, than whacked him with his staff. The Stu stumbled backwards, yelping in pain, but quickly recovered, smashing both swords into the ground. Tyler danced back, firing energy bolts at Dex. The Stu responded by ripping the swords out of the ground, sending a shockwave of rock at Tyler. The Agent ran forward, leaping over the shockwave and planting both feet in Dex's face, knocking him down. The Stu slammed the flats of his swords into Tyler, picked him up, and hurled the Agent away. Tyler landed in a heap. "Ow…"
"HAHA! Prepare to DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" The swords vanished, and were replaced by a huge drill. Tyler frowned, from where he was picking himself up.
"Never seen that before…" "Wonderful. I was wondering how long it would take for him to start making up new weapons."
"DIE!" Dex raced forwards, thrusting the drill at Tyler, who dodged, leaving the drill to drive into the ground. "That all, Dexy?"
"Don't call me that!" The ground whirled around the drill, shooting towards Tyler in a wave.
"Not bad…" Tyler hurled a handful of explosives at the wall of pavement, pulverizing it, and ran through the resulting dust cloud, fist outstretched-
-And Dex caught it, then shoved Tyler back, generated a pair of boots, and kicked the Agent away.
Tyler got to his feet, wincing. "That… really hurt."
"Yeah? Well it's about to get worse!" Dex charged toward Tyler, leaping into the air...
...and Tyler dropped to the ground as Dex sailed over him and into a building, crashing through the wall. Tyler smirked.
"My turn." He tossed an explosive into the hole in the building, heard the report….
And the entire building collapsed, crushing Dex. Tyler grinned widely. "Told you you can't win 'em all."
"I'd save the one-liners for when you've actually won, Agent!"
"What?"
Dex burst from the wreckage, slamming two massive mechanical fists into Tyler, pinning him to the ground. One of the fists changed into a sword, and Dex prepared to deliver the finishing blow…
And Tyler reached up and stuck something to the Stu's forehead.
"What the heck?"
Tyler's only response was a raspberry. Dex than became conscious of a beeping noise from somewhere on his head. "Oh fu-"
KABLAM!
Dex was blown backwards. Tyler got to his feet, brushing himself off. "I would suggest you not try that again, unless you want the headache of your life."
"You… little… RODENT! I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
"…Hey, do you know a Stu with a ridiculously long name that can be easily shortened to Kirpy, and a Sue named Faya something M the 99th?"
"Yeah, they're my siblings, neither of whom knows the other exists due to half a million hackneyed plot devices. Why?"
Tyler blinked. "No reason."
Dex growled, and generated a pair of VERY large weapons out of his hands. Tyler was confused for a second, until Dex lifted his arms, revealing the four holes in each
"Rocket launcher? Now that's just unfair."
Dex shrugged and fired. Eight rockets, well, rocketed towards Tyler, who calmly vanished, reappearing twenty feet away. "You're going to have to do better than-," The rockets swerved and followed him. Tyler screamed in frustration and ran off into an alley.
Ooooo
Several extraordinarily long seconds later…
Tyler was running out of energy. He had jumped, ducked, and dodged to avoid the explosives, and was down to four. He dashed up a wall, and as the rockets followed him, he jumped back down. Two rockets collided in their hurry to U-turn, but the other two did barrel rolls and continued pursuing him. Tyler, for his part, ran like a bat out of hell, if bats had legs, if "out of," had meant, "away from," and if hell had been a pair of Tyler-seeking rockets.
Tyler kept running, turning around each new corner to avoid the rockets, until finally he was back where he started, although instead of running into an alley, he was now running out of it, on a beeline for Dex.
Dex was slightly confused as to Tyler's choice, but his confusion quickly turned to terror as he noted the two rockets tailgating the Agent. His terror increased as Tyler (In, for no apparent reason, slow motion) jumped onto the Stu's back, then leapt off, leaving the two rockets to blast Dex into next week. The Stu's wake sent Tyler into a backflip, from which he landed squarely on his back. He got up in time to watch in triumph as the Stu carved a crater into the pavement though.
Dex leapt to his feet, formed a sword, and charged, swiping at Tyler over and over, the Agent dodging each strike, looking for an opening. After about five minutes, he found one. Dex overextended, and Tyler drew his staff-
And a tentacle whipped out of nowhere, grabbed Tyler, and yanked him into an alleyway, where Tyler realized that he should have gotten Rex to cure the original Fido while he had the chance.
Before Fido could capitalize on his victory, Dex let out a shout of anger and leapt for the other E.V.O, slashing at it with his sword. Fido hissed, fending Dex off with three tentacles while holding Tyler behind it with the fourth. Tyler, meanwhile, was taking matters into his own hands.
"NOBODY STEALS MY KILLS!" Dex roared, trying to impale Fido. The tentacled E.V.O. ducked the blade, but Dex simply generated a new one, and would have used it too, except that an explosive hit him in the face, stunning him for the second it took for Fido to fasten its tentacles around his throat and begin to squeeze. Tyler grinned, but his grin faded (or completely vanished, really) when Fido smashed him into the ground.
"So far, every time someone is about to claim final victory, a third party intervenes. Right now, Fido's winning against Dex, which would make it….my turn? I guess." Tyler sent a sheet of wind traveling along the ground, tripping Fido and allowing Dex to throw off the tentacles that had been throttling him. Fido let out a shriek of rage, but it was too late. Dex smashed aside the tentacles with a fist, and then grabbed Fido by the face, lifting the E.V.O. into the air, and draining the nanites from its blood.
In the span of seconds, Fido had been reduced to a normal, terrified human, whom Dex gave a sadistic smile before hurling them away, probably to their death. In the meantime, Tyler had gotten to his feet.
"Ready to finish it, Dexy?"
"I told you… not to CALL ME THAT!" Dex raised a mechanical fist and pounded it down where Tyler had been a moment ago, then swung the fist after the fleeing Agent. Tyler darted up the wall of the alleyway, jumping over the fist, and detonating an explosive in Dex's face. The E.V.O. stumbled back, and Tyler rushed forward, kneeing the Stu in the face, then kicking him in the shin, stomping on his foot, and finally biting the mechanical fist, ripping off a large chunk and swallowing it whole. Dex sat down hard, head still spinning. "Wh-what was that?"
"'That,' as you so eloquently refer to it, is what happens when you completely fail to realize that I'm smaller and faster than you, and that I am, in fact, capable of eating metal. And now," Tyler pulled out a Prohibitor, "It's over." The Prohibitor was torn from his hand by a sword, which landed in a wall. "OH COME ON!"
Tyler barely had time to form a shield before Rex's fist smashed into him, sending him flying. As Tyler rolled to his feet, he had to jump backwards to avoid Agent Six slicing him in half. "What? They were Copyrighted!"
"The E.V.O's ours, Taylor!" Six said, slicing at Tyler repeatedly.
"That would explain it." "I can't let you take it! It'll be back within a day! And it's Tyler!" Tyler shoved one of Six's swords away, and bumped into a wall. Before he could move, the other sword, which Six had somehow recovered, was at his throat.
"I'm sorry, Tyler. We can't trust you."
"I'm sorry too."
"Why?"
"Because I just activated every explosive on my person."
Six paled, a remarkable feat.
BOOM!
The explosion enveloped Tyler in an aura of flames, and hurled Six backwards. As the flames dissipated, Tyler walked out from them, completely unharmed. Six blinked.
"Acquired immunity to explosives, Six. Now…" Tyler dashed towards Rex, who had pinned Dex to the ground and was about to cure him. Unbeknownst to Rex, Dex had generated a huge sword, and was about to impale Rex with it.
Or he would have been, had Tyler not tackled Rex, knocking him out of the way of the blade. Dex growled, his kill stolen yet again.
Tyler jumped to his feet, drawing another Prohibitor...
...and then he was jumping away as Six appeared from nowhere, slashing viciously at him. Meanwhile, Rex and Dex were now going at it at full power. Rex had formed a jetpack-wings-device, while Dex was just using twin swords. The two were smashing into each other over and over again, each time with enough force to shatter a house.
Ooooo
Back in the Library…
"This is getting confusing," Ben complained. "Weren't Tyler and the orange and green guys on the same side a moment ago?"
Ooooo
They certainly weren't now. Six was slicing at Tyler, failing to connect with the smaller Agent, who had drawn his staff and was using it to great effect. Rex was launching chunks of pavement at Dex, who would slice them in half and charge, only to miss and get hit by an explosive from Tyler, who would then have to dodge away from Six again.
"Seriously, what are you made of?" Tyler muttered, dodging away, kicking Six, and spraying him with energy bursts. Six replied with a quick slash that slipped past Tyler's staff and opened a small cut on his shoulder. Tyler yelped, and Six kicked him to the ground, holding a sword to his throat.
"You're all out of bombs, Taylor."
Tyler groaned. "I'm going to die with my name mispronounced." And then a Dex-thrown Rex slammed into Six, knocking him off of Tyler. Tyler's jaw dropped (again).
"And I thought the Stu was supposed to be lucky." Tyler got to his feet…just in time to see Dex zooming towards him, having grown a motorcycle from his legs. "GAH!"
Tyler leapt up, but Dex caught him, trying to hurl him under the motorcycle. Tyler snapped out his staff, forming a hook of energy on the end and snagging the ground, slowing the motorcycle down very slightly.
"No passengers!" Dex shouted, trying to elbow Tyler in the face. Tyler just held on for dear life, occasionally jabbing Dex with a needle of energy. For his part, the Stu was swerving wildly, trying to throw off the unwanted occupant. After a particularly violent turn, Tyler did something he hadn't done in a long time. He threw up. The result of this melted a hole in the street, and the chunk of metal he had recently eaten was expelled at dangerous speed, bouncing off a building and shattering the back of Dex's motorcycle, sending Dex and Tyler skidding along the ground. Tyler just rolled into a building, but Dex wasn't so lucky. He bumped into Rex, and lay there, prone, vaguely conscious of the world. Rex grinned down at him.
"Hey, you're in luck! I just got my second wind!"
At this point, Tyler noticed what sounded like music. He frowned. "Why would music be playing? Unless…" As the music got louder, Tyler recognized it. It was the show's theme song.
-MAKE WAY, WE'LL START A REVOLUTION!-
Rex formed a pair of boots, hauled back, and kicked Dex through a building, before charging after him.
-MAKE WAY, WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN TONIGHT!-
Rex caught up with the still-moving Stu, generated a fist, and crushed Dex into the ground.
-MAKE WAY, WE'LL START A REVOLUTION! SO MAKE WAY!-
Even as Dex shoved Rex away with giant fists of his own, Rex switched back to boots, and kicked the E.V.O.-Stu into the stratosphere.
-MAKE WAY, WE'LL START A REVOLUTION!-
Rex generated the jetpack-wings, flying up at incredible speed to catch Dex 1000 feet above the ground.
-MAKE WAY, WE'LL START A REVOLUTION! SO MAKE WAYYYYYY!-
As the music died down, Dex slammed into the ground with the force of a small meteor, followed by Rex doing the same, smashing a fist right on top of the Stu. As Rex stepped back, and the house-sized dust cloud cleared, it revealed Dex lying in a huge crater, completely unconscious. Tyler stepped forward with a Prohibitor, but found his path blocked by Rex and Six.
"He's ours, Taylor," the green-clad man stated.
"Well, I had a funny feeling you'd say that… so I took the liberty of planting half a dozen bombs on each of you when you weren't paying attention. If you recall, Six, I said 'On my person.'" Tyler took another detonator switch out of his pocket. "Oh, and another thing…" He pressed the switch, and both Rex and Six were knocked over by the blast. "It's Tyler."
The Agent hopped into the crater, placed a Prohibitor on Dex, opened a Plothole, and returned to the Library to steal cookies.
Ooooo
A few minutes later, in the Generator Rex fandom…
Rex and Six got up, very confused. The last thing they remembered, they had been fighting Van Kleiss…and then….? After a call from White Knight demanding their immediate return, the two chalked it up to a slightly more crushing than usual defeat, and headed back to Providence base. Six never gave the matter a second thought. Rex, on the other hand…
Rex had had previous experience with amnesia.
He knew there was something missing. And, maybe eventually, he would figure it out.
That is, if he still cared after sleeping for the week he would need to recover from whatever had happened.
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