Tuesday, August 9, 2011

TAOM: Rhia - Plot Bunny Sniper Rifle

The shots of the rifle rang through the shooting range. Terrified plot bunnies attempted to hide near the wall, but that didn't work very well. In between shots maniacal laughter rebounded everywhere. They traveled through the whole Library and made some of the other agents shiver. Echoes of the word 'die' rumbled through the halls. These signs of apparent cruelty roused Adrian's curiosity and he sauntered down to the shooting range to find out what was going on.

Arriving there, he found Rhia, the newest recruit, shooting at plot bunnies with a very odd rifle. On the side he could see a label, "Plot Bunny Sniper Rifle".

"Rhia, what are you doing?"

"Shooting Merthur and other slash pairing plot bunnies in the Merlin fandom."


"It's not canon. They die."

"I thought you liked slash."

"I do. When it can be proven by canon."

"I am assuming Merthur isn't?"

"IT'S NOT EVEN IN THE ARTHURIAN LEGENDS!" I mean, seriously! Think about the time period you're writing stuff in! This is medieval times, people! Back then, if you were homosexual, you were either thought sick or possessed by a demon, sorcerer, witch, ect, that was making you do it. Both Arthur and Merlin were probably so straight that they made metal poles look twisted! Same with femslash! C'mon! Get a grip, it can't happen, please stop writing about it. And what really annoys me is that most of the Merlin fanfiction I've seen is Merthur! Can't anyone get their heads out of the homosexual gutters?" With the end of that rant, Rhia returned to shooting the Merthur plot bunnies.

"How can you tell that they're slash bunnies?"

"It's not hard when you see one bunny hump another bunny of the same gender. After I'm done with this I plan on taking their pelts and making a nice rabbit fur stole."

"Oooookkay." Adrian was starting to walk away slowly from the more than slightly crazy girl when she put down the rifle.

"Well, that's done until another batch comes in. Are you hungry, Adrian? C'mon, I'm hungry. I'll make something for both of us."

"Just how good are you at cooking?"

Rhia rolled her eyes. "Stop worrying. I haven't poisoned anyone yet. Heck, hand me any recipe and the ingredients and I can make it."

"So you can cook."

"Yes, I can cook very well."

In The Kitchen...

In between bites of the sandwitches that Rhia had made, Adrian remarked, "You know, the authors whose plot bunnies you killed are going to want to hurt you."

"I hate them just as much as they hate me. They can try all they want." And she giggled.

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