Monday, August 15, 2011

Insert Mysterious Justice-Conflicted Death Here

"Haruhi, Haruhi, Haruhi, kyaa~"

Aster skiddled around the novel section until she found the Suzumiya Haruhi novels. Indecisive about which one to read, she shrugged, closed her eyes, and randomly pulled a copy off the shelf.

...That was when the entire shelf fell over.

Luckily, Aster escaped the shelf by jumping off and yelping, still clutching a copy of Suzumiya Haruhi no Fungai in her hand.

She wiped her brow. Whoever had broken the fourth wall this time wasn't going to be forgiven for smashing her Haruhi novels!

"Aster!" yelled Adrian, walking in. "Are you the one breaking the fourth wall?"

Aster shook her head, her face still recovering from the shock. Adrian knew her well enough to tell whether she was lying or not, and let it slide.

But apparently someone else hadn't.

"ASTER!" yelled a very familiar and irritated British voice. Aster yelped and hid behind Adrian. Tash stormed into the room, wearing a T-shirt bearing the slogan Bakura is Mine!

"How many times have I told you not to break the fourth wall?"

"But it wasn't - "

"You're always screwing things up here!"

The other Society members were starting to stare at the scene. Tash was acting very un-Tashlike.

"Tash, it wasn't - "

"I'm sick of this one here breaking and ruining everything she touches. I'm sick of this idiot going into all the fandoms and screwing up all our cases. Why can't I get rid of this moron? Ah. Ah. I know. Adrian. There's a Sue in the Death Note fandom. Lock Aster in there and don't let her out until she gets the Sue."

Understandably, there was a huge uprising of "What?", "No!", "You can't - ", etc.

"Tash," said Adrian, "be civil. True, she's an idiot, but this is a Black List fandom! All they have to do is hear her name and she'll be dead no matter how powerful she is!"

"Sucks for her," said Tash, and huffed off.

There was arguing in the room.

"Don't worry, we'll talk to her - "

" - she probably forgot to have her tea - "

" - it's too dangerous - "

"No," said Aster. "When it comes to Sues, if Tashさん says I must do it, I must... I have orders..."

The rest of the Society understood. On Aster's application, she was required to write five reasons for joining. One of these was "my author ordered me to".


And so, Adrian reluctantly put Aster in the Death Note fandom and locked it.

Tash walked into the room, wearing pajamas. "Bollocks. I got up late. Ah, well. I'm hungry. Do we still have crumpets, or did Hati eat all of them?"

Adrian frowned at Tash. "Were you just being cranky when you were mean to Aster?"

"Mean?" Tash's brow furrowed in puzzlement. "I just got up."

"But..." said Adrian. "I just saw you...and you were yelling at Aster and you sent her into the Death Note fandom, and you walked off... that way..."

Adrian was pointing in the direction opposite to where Tash had just come from.

Then Adrian and Tash looked at each other and both got it immediately: The one who had sent Aster in wasn't Tash...

Immediately they both rushed to the computer, but it was too late. The Sue had locked them out - and Aster in...


"Sigh, kyaa~"

Aster sat on the bus, pondering how to plan this out.

She formulated a fake name for herself, "Yamamoto Narae", and considered what she knew about the Death Note fandom.

Death Notes were notebooks owned by shinigami. If someone wrote her real name in the book, picturing her face in his/her mind, then she would die. If the type of death wasn't specified, she would die of a heart attack in 40 seconds.

A Death Note user had the option of "trading eyes" with the shinigami, so that the user would have the option of seeing each person's name and lifespan above their heads. The price would be half of his/her lifespan. Thus, having a fake name wouldn't really help her if she met someone with the Shinigami Eyes, like Amane Misa.

Aster took a breath and stared out the window of her bus. This Japan was like the one she lived in. It was sort of nostalgic to her.

Come to think of it, she thought, I haven't been in my universe in a while because of all the Society work. I really should visit Chrysちゃん and Akaiちゃん sometime...

Aster's stop came, and she got off the bus, thinking of what she had to do. She decided to try not to anger Light - in fact, she'd try not to meet him in the first place - and find L first. After all, he seemed like the best one to approach.


L Lawliet's identity was a total secret.

Even the investigators who went in and out of the room went under aliases. Otherwise, nobody ever saw L, except for through his voice on a laptop...

Unless, of course, one had read the Death Note manga.

Unbeknownst to L, his identity was published in another world to everyone. Thus, Aster knew his exact whereabouts. She also knew the investigation team wasn't in.

Aster walked casually into the hotel and went up to the room. It was now or never.

She knocked on the door.

No response.

Nervous, Aster turned the handle - it went easily...

And she saw someone kissing L.


If L falls in love with anyone, it's got to be a Sue!

Aster put her hands on her hips, and yelled, "I am from the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society, and you're under arrest!"

The Sue stopped kissing L and turned around.

Aster suddenly realized why Tash had been so mean to her that day.

The Sue in question was the pseudo-Tash.


Aster stepped back a few steps.

"Nya..." Nowadays, Aster was saying this more often when she was sad, feeling guilty, or scared. She hoped it wouldn't become her new catchphrase.

The pseudo-Tash smiled. L was trying to figure out what the hell had happened.

"Lくん," said Aster, turning her attention from the pseudo-Tash to L. "This isn't like you. Shouldn't you be smart enough to figure out what's wrong?"

L shrugged. "She's cute though."

Aster sweatdropped. Two flirtatious people... They're almost meant for each other...

She shook her head.

"Where was I? Oh, right. You're under arrest!"

"I don't think so," said the pseudo-Tash. She kissed L on the cheek and muttered, "I'll be back later. We're taking this outside."


"An alley."

"Mm-hm. Perfect."

"Let's see," said Aster. "First, you tell me. Do you have a Death Note?"

The pseudo-Tash smirked and pulled out a black notebook.

"I've watched you while I was posing as your leader at your little Library," she said. "You're Aster, right? We've judged you the easiest to kill. First you, then the rest of the Society will follow. However, I can tell that 'Aster' cannot possibly be your whole name. So we'll fight, and while I kill you painfully, if you ever want to die much more quickly, all you have to do is tell me your surname..."

Aster shifted into her (first) fae form.

"I'm going to destroy that Death Note," said Aster, "and we'll see what happens...If you want to ease up the pain, just forfeit your ownership of the Death Note and come quietly."

It was probably one of the darkest things Aster had ever said.

The pseudo-Tash's smile grew wider.

"Fine then."

The pseudo-Tash pulled out a staff. Aster recognized it as the one the real Tash had. Aster nervously glanced at her moon staff; would it be enough, when the pseudo-Tash's staff was imbued with Sue magic?

Aster raised her hands, releasing a huge wave of water that would act as a shield, hoping that if any fire approached her, it would dissapate in the water. The larger the wave, the less the effectiveness, so she could only cover right in front of her.

It worked - somewhat. The fire attacks the pseudo-Tash sent blew straight into the water. However, her visibility was severely reduced, and Aster could only make out a blur.

"Argh..." Aster tried all of her attacks, but the Sue was nimble and skidded away.

"Runoa has helped me much," she said. "I'm thankful she had mercy..."

Aster banged the bottom of the staff and water erupted from where it hit, freezing as ice trying to enclose the pseudo-Tash.

The pseudo-Tash smiled - and melted the ice.

That can't happen! thought Aster. That ice is unmeltable, even for fire!

Then the fire hit her in the back.


Aster's eyes got big and she collapsed, her staff skidding a few feet away. She could feel the fire literally burning her magic away inside. Without her staff...

"I'll just sit here and watch you die slowly," said the pseudo-Tash. "Or, you can reveal the second half of your name."

Aster couldn't even think anymore.


"Hmph," said the pseudo-Tash. "So you're Aster Selene. I wouldn't think the Aster who joined the Society would be the same Aster Selene who the Lieutenant is so interested in... I would've thought you'd be smarter."

She scoffed.

"The Lieutenant probably wants to kill you herself. But I'll be merciful."

She pulled out the Death Note and started to write "Aster".

Aster sprang up and got to her staff. She tried to bring a pillar of icicles imbibed with lunar energy, but the pseudo-Tash only dodged them and continued writing.


Aster tried to swipe the Note, but she continued writing...


No, thought Aster. I can't let her continue writing. I can't.


This can't...


The pseudo-Tash laughed maniacally.

"40 seconds, Aster. 40 seconds until your death."

Aster breathed heavily. Still counting, she had 35 seconds. She had to rid the universe of this Sue.

Aster sprouted her staff and threw things in every direction. The Sue continually dodged Aster's increasingly powerful attacks as Aster held on to the hope she could kill her in 30 seconds...20 seconds...10 seconds...

I'm sorry, Society, everyone, I'll miss you all...

0 seconds.

Aster stood there.

Nothing happened.

This can't... thought Aster.

"No!" yelled the pseudo-Tash. "This is a real Death Note! I've used it! How is this runt still alive?"

Aster was still trying to comprehend that, when it hit her...

"Aster Selene is not the name I was given at birth," she said, "and while everyone calls me that, it's not my real name... Kind of like L calling himself Ryuuga..."

The pseudo-Tash growled and gripped her staff more tightly. Then she turned around and faced nothing...or at least it seemed.

"I would like to trade for the Shinigami Eyes."

And she turned back to face Aster.

"Hn," said the pseudo-Tash. "That's your real name. Interesting. It also seems you're not destined to die today, so I'll have to use the Death Note to kill you."

Aster could only swear privately in her head.

And she lunged forward at the pseudo-Tash.

At the same time, she combined as much of her power as possible. This involved making a a solid ball of all five elements, which effectively was one of the most powerful bombs in existence. The only way to counteract this was a similar ball from her opposite counterpart (the Sun Guardian, whom she neither knew nor had ever met).

And she slammed it on the ground.

A huge explosion ensued, and Aster was thrown up into the air. She noticed she was regressing into her human form, which meant she had to recover energy, and she couldn't fly anymore to save herself...

The shout of familiar voices reached her ears as Aster fell unconscious...



Aster blinked as she came to. "...m... am I dead?"

"Oh?" said a voice. "Ah, you're up. That's good."

"uff..." Aster shook her head and sat up. "Where the hell am I..."

"Society sickroom," said the voice, which Aster could identify as female. "This is the third...fourth time this has happened. I hear the Society used to be fun, but now we have people in sickbeds..."

Aster's vision finally jarred. She looked at the girl who was talking to her. She was extremely young...

"You're Emily, right?" said Aster. "The one we rescued from the Foxblade family..."

"Please don't mention that," said Emily.

"Hm," said Aster. "Where are the others? What happened?"

"Tash and the others were watching you for a while, but they had work to catch up on, so they had me watch." She shrugged. "Got nothing better to do. Oh, and..."

Emily handed a paper to Aster.


Aster -

That Sue put a block on the fandom. We couldn't get in until some huge explosion took place, which somehow let us in.

The fake Tash is gone, but she left her Death Note, so we assume she's just run off somewhere. She still has the Shinigami Eyes, though, which can't be good.

I don't want you extenuating yourself, so I left a pile of manga next to your bed.

Sorry about all this.



"Say," said Emily, "why do you call people that?"

"Call people what?" said Aster.

"'Emily-chan', 'Tash-san', 'Adrian-kun'. I don't understand."

"Japanese honorifics," said Aster. "ちゃん is sort of a cutesy suffix, so it's insulting if used improperly, but it could mean an equal or slightly younger. くん is sorta like that, I guess... it's hard to explain... I use it more for males though. ちん is a sign of respect, like for Tashちん."

"I see..." said Emily. Then she looked at what Aster was reading. "What's that?"

"Huh? This?" Aster looked at the book. "Oh, it's manga. Japanese comic book, I guess you could say..."

"Can I see?"

Aster looked through the pile. "Hm. You're too young for Haruhi... God forbid, no, not Elfen Lied...Naruto's a shounen manga... Ah!"

Aster pulled out a copy of Full Moon wo Sagashite. "Here."

Emily looked at it interestedly while Aster taught her the basics of reading right-to-left.

Then Aster realized something horrible...

"Emilyちゃん," said Aster, "you need to help me. Endless Eight comes out this Friday - Friday in Japan, that is - and I won't let myself be bedridden when the episode comes out..."

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